Original subtitles

? Do do do do do do do

? Where the four winds blow

? And it's five miles wide

? Where a six-gun rules

? And a man can't hide

? A man can play

? And a man can win

? Lucky Luke rides again

? Lucky Luke

? Born to ride

? With a six-gun by his side

? Lucky Luke

? Here's to you

? Do do do do do do do

? That's a man who waits

? Over yonder hill

? And when he shoots he shoots to kill

? But he don't know

? That every way

? Lucky Luke will ride again

? Lucky Luke

? Born to ride

? With a six-gun by his side

? Luck Luck

? Here's to you

? Do do do do do do do

? On the dusty trail

? Meet the western sky

? Where the sun shines hot enough to fry

? A cowboy's dream

? Must never end

? Lucky Luke rides again

? Lucky Luke

? Born to ride

? With a six-gun by his side

? Lucky Luke

? Here's to you

? Do do do do do do do

? Lucky Luke

? Born to ride

? With a six-gun by his side

? Lucky Luke

? Here's to you

? Do do do do do do do

? Lucky Luke

? Born to ride

? With a six-gun by his side

? Lucky Luke

? Here's to you

(glass breaking)

? Do do do do do do do

Nothing like a vacation, right Jolly Jumper.

[Jolly Jumper] You bet.

See a few old friends, do some fishing.

[Jolly Jumper] Eat some meadow grass,

find some fillies.

[Man] No! Never!

Not today, not ever!

No way!

That sounds like Frank.

[Jolly Jumper] I thought you said

we're on vacation, Sheriff.

Let someone else rescue him.

Ah! Ah!

Thanks, pardner.

I couldn't have done it without ya.

Eh, welcome to Purgatory.

I guess we oughta take them into Big Mike.

[Big Mike] Oh, don't bother.

I'm already here.

Big Mike?

Big Mike.

You've changed, you're...

Hairy?

[Man] Yeah.

Huh, Big Harry.

One in the same.

Big Ben.

Big Ed.

Is that you, Doc?

Huh, I didn't recognize you.

How could you, Luke?

We've let ourselves go.

The whole town's gone to heck.

(laughing)

[Jolly Jumper] Watch that.

The problem is there ain't no women to do it up for.

But we're gonna get some.

That's why we need Frank.

Forget it.

All we want to do is take his picture.

We're sendin' for brides,

and the minimum order is a dozen.

We gotta prove there are 12 prospective

husbands in Purgatory.

And Little Ricky can't do it because he's got

a bad case of Rocky Mountain spotted fever.

That's why we need Frank to stand in.

I said forget it.

I ain' takin' a chance on some women falling for me

on account of some picture.

Frank's scared of a woman.

[Frank] I ain't.

Then he's scared of a bath.

[Frank] You take that back.

Now wait a minute, boys.

Why don't you stand in, Luke?

Wear my hat so you'll look like one of us.

Yeah, no one will recognize ya.

Come on.

I wouldn't do that if I were you, pardner.

[Big Mike] Try some of our local brew?

[Luke] Yup.

Luke, what kind of woman's gonna come out

west and marry a total stranger?

I'll tell you what kind.

Ugly.

What is this?

Potato vodka.

Or would be if we let it ferment long enough.

(laughing)

Can't you just see 'em?

All nervous and fainty types.

You've got it all wrong, Frank.

Takes a special kind of woman to come west.

Strong, enterprising, determined,

good with her hands, clever.

[Big Mike] All set, Coop?

[Big Ed] Let's take the picture.

Get ourselves immortalized.

A woman who appreciates the wide open spaces,

a woman who feels confined back east.

I can't take it another minute.

How do they expect a person to go on?

Three years behind bars.

Three years braiding stupid rugs.

It's enough to drive a woman to drink,

if they let you drink.

And the food.

The only good thing about food

is it makes you want to get out of here!

Farewell, ladies.

One.

Two.

Three.

I get the picture, Luke,

but who's gonna bring 'em back?

Comin' back on a wagon train.

A whole wagon train of women.

Led by who?

Some slick wagon master that's gonna be tryin'

to make time with all of 'em?

How about Luke for the job?

Me?

What?

Ask a man to give up his vacation?

Travel a thousand miles over rough country

to haul back a bunch of useless women?

Too much to ask of any man.

[Jolly Jumper] Not to mention his horse, fellas.

You gotta do it, Luke.

We need those women.

We're desperate.

I believe you.

Well, I'll go if Frank will go with me.

What?

I need a partner.

[Men In Background] Take me!

A partner who will keep his mind on the job.

Frank?

No.

No.

Luke!

No, I ain't goin'!

There ain't nothin' but women in this town, Luke.

For cryin' out loud.

How long before we're gonna get back

on the trail, anyway?

I believe you're in my way.

(playful dixie music)

I do beg your pardon.

Would you mind escortin' me across the street

and helpin' me with my bags?

There are so many uncouth persons about,

unlike yourself, sir.

I do admire a clean-shaven face.

For some reason the men in St. Louis feel

they must grow a mustache.

They don't realize how unattractive that makes them

for a prospective wife,

which is what I am.

My name is Tara Purnay.

Miss Tara Purnay.

Due to some unfortunate family reversals

it has become necessary for me to marry immediately.

Unless I can find an eligible man in town,

I shall be forced to sign on as a mail order bride.

And I can't help but notice you're not

wearing a wedding ring.

Excuse me, ma'am.

Oh, fine thing.

Didn't even tip his hat.

Shh.

[Man] He went that way.

Three years in prison and everything changes.

Electric alarms.

Whatever happened to help, help,

the bank's being robbed?

Oh, great.

Now how am I supposed to by a ticket to No Return?

Excuse me, old man.

What do you mean old man?

I'm only 25.

It ain't easy escorting away them order brides

across the country.

Good luck, pardner.

We're here to pick up the brides for Purgatory.

Here I am.

That order's not ready yet.

We've only got 11 brides.

Well, it looks like some will have

to do without then, won't they?

Sorry.

We never ship a short order.

Company policy.

I ain't got time for all this foolin' around.

I gotta get back to my gold mine.

Calm down, Frank.

Big Mike's taking good care of your mine.

By the time we get back,

you'll have a big bag of gold waiting for you

in the First Bank of Purgatory.

How about you, little lady?

Romance, security, scenic trip west,

all expenses paid?

How scenic?

St. Louis, Topeka, Wolf City, Bottleneck, No Return,

and then straight on to Purgatory

where true happiness awaits the adventuresome heart.

Throw in $10 dollars, you got yourself a deal.

How soon can they be ready to leave?

How soon can they be ready to leave?

How soon can you be ready to leave?

I just need to send a telegram.

Give me 10 minutes.

I'll round up the others.

I'm ready right now.

[Luke] Ah, yes, ma'am.

[Man] So tragically Madam Obadini leaves

the stage forever.

Give us hope that one day you'll sing again.

Never.

I'm weary of fame and glory.

I want a home, not a dressing room.

I want a husband, not admirers.

I want children, lots of children.

I want to live, I want to eat.

Driver, my bags.

Mr. Luke, Mr. Luke (screaming).

Oh!

Lady, what are you doing?

What do you?

Is there room for one more?

Sorry, ma'am.

Only a dozen brides were ordered.

Oh, I'm not lookin' for a husband.

I'm a teacher.

I just want to go west.

I've read all about it.

A schoolteacher?

Ma'am, in Purgatory, I mean, who you gonna teach?

There ain't any kids.

Oh, I'm not just a schoolteacher.

I'm a strong and capable woman.

I can open a library.

I brought my books.

A library?

In Purgatory?

Luke.

All right, ma'am.

You can come.

I'll just be a minute.

Oh, oh, sorry.

Ladies, ladies, can I see you over here, please?

You mind posting a few of these as you go?

Sure will.

Dead-Eye Kid got loose from some correctional

institution back east.

We think he may be the one tried to rob our bank.

Any of you ladies seen this man?

I saw him!

I allowed him to escort me.

I could have been killed.

No, no, he didn't look so dangerous.

I saw him riding out of town, went north.

North, you say.

Mmm-hmm, that's right.

That don't make sense.

We got a message he's heading west to hook up

with the Daltons in No Return.

You said the Daltons?

Yeah, they escaped again.

Frankly, I think about going west at all,

if I was you, ladies.

Oh, that's just silly.

Nobody has to be afraid of the Daltons

or the Dead-Eye Kid.

They're just bank robbers.

Aren't they?

I'm not afraid.

Not with such a handsome man in charge.

Old Luke's been chasing the Daltons pretty regular now.

It's kind of a hobby with him.

Luke?

Not Lucky Luke?

Sheriff Lucky Luke?

Yes, ma'am.

I've heard of you.

I hear you're pretty good with a gun.

Ain't none faster, ma'am.

I bet you could shoot down that Dead-Eye person

in a right minute.

Well, with any luck there won't be any shooting.

Ladies, let's get moving.

If I could just have a moment to compose myself.

Move it!

[Frank] Let's go, mule.

Come on, granddad.

Let's go west.

Come on, boy.

Come on, boy.

? La da, la da, da da da

? La da da da, la da da

This is the life, ain't it, Jack?

The Dead-Eye Kid for a brilliant escape plan.

Ah, if you ask me, the Dead-Eye Kid is

some kind of sissy.

Why, I felt like a dumbbell sewing all those rugs

in front of all the other inmates.

Nice colors, don't you think?

Well, it's sure enough work,

and with the Dead-Eye Kid joining the gang,

maybe we're out for good.

50 bank robberies before they caught him.

We never did more than one.

Yeah, but the Dead-Eye Kid never had.

Lucky Luke on his trail.

Someone's comin'.

Woah.

Is anybody in No Return lookin' for us?

Only the telegraph operator.

To Dalton.

Which one of us do you think it's for?

Numb skull, it's A period.

A for Averell.

Oh!

Aw, how you ended up to be the Dead-Eye Kid's

penpal, I'll never know.

Well, it all started when the warden showed

me an ad in the prison newspaper.

Open it, Averell!

All right.

It's from Dead-Eye.

He wants us to meet him in Purgatory.

First Miners Bank.

Well then, we better get going.

Hold it.

Plenty of time to get to Purgatory.

We can hit a few more wagon trains before we go.

Oh, why don't we rob a bank again, Joe?

Oh, I like robbin' banks.

(laughing)

Me, too.

Ah.

No banks.

We're on vacation.

And when you're on vacation,

you wait for the loot to come to you.

It's more relaxin'.

Bank guard, no sheriff.

No Lucky Luke.

(laughing)

Pass me a cigar, Jack.

Light me, William.

Now don't wake me until the next wagon train.

? Oh my darlin' Clementine

? You are lost and

Woah, Nelly!

Oh, Nelly.

(screaming)

Woah, steady there.

Go, lass.

Come on now.

Ho!

We'll camp here.

Well, it ain't even dark yet.

We've gone far enough for the first day.

Circle the wagons.

Horses in the middle.

I'm going to go take a look up ahead.

All right, girls.

I'm gonna step off for just a minute.

Some mighty mean critters around this

part of the country.

Critters?

Oh.

(slow Western music)

What is going on here, ladies?

What in tarnation are you doin'?

This is no way to set up for a camp.

What do you think this is, anyway?

Some consarned social meetin'?

That's what I said,

but not exactly what I meant.

[Jolly Jumper] Good thing you didn't tell 'em

to bed down the horses.

I'd be so embarrassed.

[Frank] Somebody ask,

how did I know this was gonna happen?

Ladies, first thing to remember is that horses

aren't as dumb as people think they are.

[Jolly Jumper] Thank you, I think.

Every horse will test you.

So you look him straight in the eye

and let him know who's boss.

[Jolly Jumper] Kiss me, you fool.

If you have to behind the horse,

let him know you're there.

[Jolly Jumper] Watch that.

By the way, if you see his ears go back,

that means the horse is angry,

and you better stay away.

Jumper, show 'em.

[Jolly Jumper] Oh, all right.

But it's not my best profile.

To saddle the horse,

first you put the blanket on like this.

Blanket, ladies, come on.

Put the blankets on.

All right, good.

Then the saddle.

Just swing it.

[Jolly Jumper] Easy.

[Frank] Come on, come on, come out here.

Get it, take it, take it, take it a bit up.

Come on, help her.

Help her here.

Get her here, come on.

See if you can hold onto the horse

while you're doing this, ladies.

There you go.

[Luke] Very good.

[Jolly Jumper] Are we done yet?

Now you tighten the cinch like this.

[Jolly Jumper] It's a good idea to check the cinch.

Tighten the cinch, ladies.

Tighten the cinch.

Now you get on the horse.

[Jolly Jumper] You didn't check the cinch.

You put your foot in the stirrup like this.

[Jolly Jumper] Now you know a horse can suck

in his breath while you saddled him, cowboy.

Ah!

Oh!

Just making a point.

You always check the cinch.

Sometimes you get a horse with a sense of humor.

[Jolly Jumper] Now don't take it personal.

All right, ladies.

This is the way you split a log.

Ah.

Of course sometimes you have to hit it more than once.

Ah.

Sometimes you gotta two or three times.

Ah.

Ah, Miss Narcissa, you want to step in here?

Try your hand at it?

Come in here.

There you go.

Ah.

Very good.

Miss Elizabeth?

All right.

Miss Lizzy, you want to step in here

and try your hand?

There you go, ma'am.

Oh!

Ladies, frontier cookin' is not complicated.

The main thing is you have good fire

just kind of lickin' the bottom of the pot.

Then you add your frontier fixins.

Then stir like you mean it.

Why do you keep bothering with that?

'Cause I said I would.

Looks dangerous, doesn't he?

Don't believe everything you read.

I mean, I actually saw the kid.

He isn't scary.

He just jumped on a horse and rode away, north.

Good rider, huh?

The best.

He did a kind of a running jump on from behind.

Do you like horses, Miss Jenny?

I'm afraid of them.

Huh, that's why you don't want to learn how to ride.

I like to keep to myself.

Well, you better come learn how to shoot.

We're heading into some rough territory.

[Frank] All right, ladies.

Let's load and go.

Can't make the time pickin' flowers.

Ladies, the first rule.

You never draw your gun unless you mean to shoot.

And since we need to learn how to shoot,

you can take your gun out.

You hold your gun like this,

with an easy grip.

Then you kind of relax and shoot.

(gun firing)

Ladies.

(guns firing)

(playful Western music)

I think we're gonna need some more bullets, Frank.

I kind of thought you might.

Try again.

Well, I always know my way around a rolling pin.

I've been married three times.

Come and get it!

(opera singing in foreign language)

More basilico.

Ah, I'll ah, go get you some more wood, Miss Niva.

[Woman] Took care of it, Frank.

Well, then I'll, I'll go fetch some water.

[Woman] Got it, Frank.

Oh, thank you.

Yeah, it's tough work hauling brides.

They're so helpless.

All right, I was wrong.

You can always check the rifles.

Uh-oh, I'll check the rifles later.

Ah, ma'am.

Ah!

Oh.

Can I?

Ah, do you reckon I can help you a little bit,

grease, I mean, that axle there?

No.

Thank you, Frank.

I can do it myself.

But I'd certainly enjoy some company.

Please sit down.

Well, I, I ain't much of a talker, ma'am.

Well, that's all right.

You can read to me.

Tales of Uncle Remus.

Have you read it?

No.

Start at the beginning then.

I don't mind hearing it again.

I can't.

I'm sorry.

I didn't realize.

Frank, you know so much about everything.

You aren't gonna tell Luke, are ya?

Oh no, I'd never do that.

I appreciate that, ma'am.

Come on, Frank.

I'll read.

It's what I do best.

[Frank] Ah.

[Jolly Jumper] Hmm, lot better than beans.

Oh.

Thank you.

(light playful music)

[Man] Oh!

Take cover!

Yee-hoo!

Yeah!

Yah-hoo!

Ah!

No man can shoot like that but Lucky Luke.

Come on, come on.

Go!

[Man] Ya ha! Ooh!

Ha! Ha! Yow!

That was the Dalton gang.

The Dalton gang?

That's all right.

They won't be back.

(speaking in foreign language)

Did you see that?

Miss Jenny was shooting like greased lightning.

She must've been practicing a lot.

Jenny?

I guess she got over her fear of horses.

If only I'd known it was that easy to get

Luke to chase you.

I can't believe it.

Attacking a wagon train, innocent women.

You know, whatever happened to honor among thieves?

There isn't any.

This is a private conversation, if you don't mind.

All right.

You know what to do.

[Jolly Jumper] Don't I always?

[Luke] Hey, ah!

[Jolly Jumper] Nice fall, Luke.

Are you hurt?

Ah, possibly.

I'll help you back on your horse.

Thanks.

[Jenny] Him, too?

[Jolly Jumper] Just an old cavalry wound.

Uh, I'll be all right if I stay off it for awhile.

Just pretend I'm not here.

I can't.

It's just not the same.

Good shooting back there,

and you got over your fear of horses.

All right, all right, I lied.

I can ride a horse and I can shoot a gun.

Here's your gun back.

Well, keep it.

You might need it.

Why did you keep it a secret?

Where I come from,

that sort of behavior is frowned on in a woman.

Well, it's different where you're headed.

You don't have to hide what you can do.

Really?

Yeah.

We're looking for women just like you.

Strong, brave, honest.

Would you marry me, Luke?

Well, I, um...

Luke, I wasn't proposing.

We all can tell except for Tara that

you're already spoken for.

I meant, would someone like you want to marry

someone like me?

Sure, and he'd be lucky.

Wait till the miners see you.

You're gonna be the most wanted woman in town.

Won't be the first time.

I've had kind of a questionable past.

It doesn't matter.

Out west you can start fresh.

No questions asked.

Even the Dead-Eye Kid could start over.

Well, if the Dead-Eye Kid can,

then I guess I can, too.

Luke, I'm gonna start over.

I'm gonna get married and live in Purgatory.

Oh, Luke, you've changed my life.

I hope you don't have to shoot him.

The Dead-Eye Kid?

No, your horse.

[Jolly Jumper] What?

What are you talkin' about?

Oh, he'll be all right.

[Jolly Jumper] Believe me, it's nothin'.

If my momma could see me now,

a mail order bride.

This is not a custom in your country?

Certainly not.

I wonder what they're gonna be like.

I want one with brown eyes and brown hair

and a good speaking voice.

Just want someone who will stay home nights.

What about you, Jenny?

Oh, I'm not particular.

No, all I need is a plain guy.

Plain guy in a blue shirt.

I'm a pushover for any guy in a blue shirt

with a red handkerchief in the pocket,

about so tall with good shoulders and...

But she's not particular.

I wonder how she ever got a job onstage.

She doesn't even know how to yodel.

You're goin' out west, you gotta know how to yodel.

Let's have something that everyone can sing.

? She'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes

? She'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes

? When she comes

? She'll be comin' round the mountain

? She'll be comin' round the mountain

? She'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes

Things have changed since we's through here last.

The wagons will never make it through here.

Who's gonna tell the ladies?

Oh, ah, be my guest, sir.

This was your idea, remember?

How is it up ahead?

Well, Frank has something to say.

Well, the situation is that this is a very old canyon,

and the rocks are not too stable, you see.

And there are times when...

Frank, what is that supposed to mean?

It means we'll have to walk the rest of the way.

We're going to walk all the way to Purgatory?

It's only 20 miles.

What about my baggage, senor Sheriff?

The animals will carry the necessities.

You can come back for the rest when they

clear the canyon.

And when will that be?

Could be next week.

Could be next year.

Miss Lizzy, them, them ain't necessins.

They're necessities to me, Frank.

Ma'am, this is rough country we're going through.

I can't pack all them books on my animals.

I'll carry them myself, Frank.

Fine.

But unless you want them books strung out

between here and Purgatory and back,

then you better leave 'em here

and let us come back and get 'em later.

Got anything you want me to carry?

What are you doing?

The more I wear, the more I can take with me.

Here.

Here come the brides!

[Woman] Look at those men.

(-Here Comes the Bride- by Robert Wagner)

Well, Big Mike, here they are.

Take 'em back.

Why?

Why?

You can return anything you order by mail, Luke.

That's the American way.

These women crossed a whole country to be your wives.

You promised to marry them.

What happened to a miner's word?

Ah, Luke's right.

We oughta keep our word.

That's more like it.

Oh, I could've saved my breath.

Well, I guess you all want to get acquainted now.

No time for that.

I have to be in Bald River first thing tomorrow.

If these people want to be married,

it has to be today.

Today?

But how do we decide who goes with who?

Simple.

Luke will match us up.

Me?

No, no, no, not me.

Luke.

Please, Luke.

[Man] Come on, come on.

Okay.

Big Stan goes with Miss Laura.

Big Mike with Niva.

This is no way to choose a partner for life.

You couldn't pay me enough to go through

somethin' like that.

It is gonna be quite a wedding, though.

We'll never see another one like it.

No, ma'am.

And last, Little Ricky and Miss Jenny.

(men murmuring)

Where is Little Ricky?

Still quarantined.

Rocky Mountain spotted fever.

Sorry, little lady.

No need to wait.

If someone will stand in as proxy.

Luke?

It'll be an honor.

Should've listened to mama.

Came all the way to Purgatory just to marry Big Bob.

You're gonna be the prettiest little bride for me.

Aw, thank you.

Don't you think you ought to be getting ready

for your wedding day?

I am ready.

I didn't bring a fancy dress.

Whatever were you thinking of?

It doesn't matter.

I'm only marrying a proxy anyway.

I doubt Luke is going to dress for the occasion.

[Jolly Jumper] That'll be 50 cents for irony.

And that's still cheaper than Ming Li Fu bandit.

Ah, the red bandana.

Do you have somethin' for me?

Skirt, get her a skirt and that little piece

of lace around her shoulders.

There we go.

A little blouse.

[Woman] Okay, put in your hands.

(grunting)

Miss Jenny.

Well.

Nice touch.

Well, you're only getting married the once.

Thanks for everything.

Uh, Parson's heard word that the Daltons are on their way.

So is the Dead-Eye Kid.

The Dead-Eye Kid's no problem.

He isn't much of a man.

You knew?

Yup.

Why didn't you arrest me?

Why should I?

You're not the Dead-Eye Kid anymore.

No reason to cause a fuss.

Just to hide the money from the Daltons.

And now, and now...

It's a lot of gold.

And they'll give up and then go away.

That's my plan.

It's a good plan.

It's an honest plan.

But I have to hurry.

After the wedding, I'll sneak away from the party

and put the gold back in the vault.

Miss Jenny, you're under arrest.

No!

You don't understand.

I'm hiding the gold.

Uh-huh.

Doggone it, Luke.

I'm not robbing the bank.

Put your hands up.

You just have to trust me.

Stand up, we're robbin' this bank.

You're gonna have to stand in line.

[Daltons] Lucky Luke!

Lucky Luke with his hands in the air.

Who outsmarted you?

The Dead-Eye Kid.

The Dead-Eye Kid.

Look, Dolt.

The vault's already busted.

Right on schedule.

Where are ya, Kid?

Right here,

robbing the bank, it looks like.

Ma'am?

I'm the Dead-Eye Kid.

Tell him, Luke.

Averell, meet Jenny, the Dead-Eye Kid.

But.

But we're here to rob a bank.

All right, boys.

I'll keep my eye on the sheriff.

We made two dollars, not bad.

Boys, aren't you forgettin' somethin'?

Oh, you comin' with us, ma'am?

Even a lady outlaw expects a little courtesy.

The vault!

[Man] Ain't nothin' here, Joe.

Look in the closet.

Yahoo!

[Man] Yee-haw!

Funny you should keep it in a closet

when there's such a big vault over there.

Maybe somebody put it there because

somebody saw you coming and didn't want you to find it.

Hey, leave that one.

Belongs to a friend of mine.

Yes, ma'am.

[Big Mike] The bank's been robbed!

[Woman] They kidnapped Jenny!

I'll get her!

She sure knows how to keep Luke's interest.

Come on, Averell.

Surely you must've known I was a woman.

Nope.

What did you think when you sent letters

to the Massachusetts Correctional Institute for Women?

Just thought you were really, really lucky.

Well, no harm done.

I'm here now, ready to join the gang.

Maybe you could add some basilico to that.

Listen, Dead-Eye.

Dalton gang cannot and will not take on a woman.

It ain't dignified.

Not to mention the problem of separate outhouses.

Hey, Joe.

Somebody's comin'.

Lucky Luke.

[Man] What a pest.

[Jenny] I'll take care of him.

[Joe] You?

I got 'em at the bank, I can do it again.

Listen, if we can capture Lucky Luke twice in one day,

you can join the gang.

Lookin' for me?

I came to apologize, Jenny.

I got you wrong at the bank.

It's not too late to come back and go straight.

You said out here women are equal to men.

Well here's your chance to prove it.

Not this way.

Took him without a shot.

She the best or what?

I guess she's man enough to join this gang.

Good work, Jenny.

Let's shoot 'em full of holes!

Let's string 'em up.

Let's set him on fire.

Um, all of the above?

I say we make him suffer.

Ooh.

Nice colors, Averell.

Why are you doing this, Jenny?

Because you led me on in the moonlight.

He did what?

Luke, I'm shocked and impressed.

Put it down.

I'll set the fuse, boys.

My gift to you, Lucky.

Make it a long one.

I want him to see it comin'.

How did I lead you on?

You filled my head with dreams about life

on the right side of the law.

You made me think I could start over.

You still could.

Will you quit trying to make an honest woman out of me?

I'm a bank robber.

An outlaw.

And proud of it.

So who was leading who on?

Let's get out of here!

Happy landings, Lucky Luke!

She'll be back.

[Jolly Jumper] I wouldn't count on it if I were you.

Let's face it, Luke.

She isn't comin'.

[Jolly Jumper] That's it, sing.

Hey, Luke.

We're about to blow up.

What are you gonna do?

I'm gonna wait.

I don't want to have to think I haven't got faith in her.

[Jolly Jumper] Hmm.

[Jolly Jumper] Get ready for the big bang, cowboy.

All right, Jumper.

[Jolly Jumper] Oh, no, Jenny's comin'.

Come on, Jumper.

What are you waiting for?

[Jolly Jumper] Oh, all right.

(stomach sucking)

I always have to do everything.

Taste like oats.

I knew it.

Help me, Jumper.

Glad you could make it.

So you were dumb enough to wait.

Never doubted you for a minute.

Thanks.

Is that all?

I just saved your life.

Little Ricky is a lucky fella.

I don't want to marry Little Ricky.

I don't want to marry anybody.

I just got out of prison.

I like my freedom.

You don't have to get married.

What do you want to do?

I don't know.

I'm not trained for anything except braiding rugs.

That's not true.

You can shoot and ride better than most.

Well, that's great if you want to rob banks.

Ever thought of giving law enforcement a try?

What we got here boys is a permanent vacation.

I say we should retire right now, right here.

A good day's work removing Lucky Luke

from the scene.

I miss Dead-Eye.

Ah, you'll get over it, kid.

Aw.

Oh.

Oh, hoo-hoo.

Pass me a cigar, Jack.

Light me, William.

I heard explosions.

What happened?

Ha, the Daltons were playing with dynamite.

[Woman] Which one is the Dead-Eye Kid?

I bet you it's this one.

Sorry to disappoint you lady,

but the Dead-Eye Kid ain't me.

Heck, the Dead-Eye Kid ain't even a man.

All right.

[Luke] He's a low-down, duck-crossin' skunk.

The Dead-Eye Kid is...

[Luke] Is gone!

Blown to pieces, dead.

Where's Jenny?

On her way to Montana.

She didn't want to settle down yet.

Then who's gonna marry Little Ricky?

How about Miss Elizabeth?

Ha, you gotta be jokin'.

All right.

[Frank] Lizzy.

My books are gone, Frank.

I don't have anything better to do.

Can you stand in again, Luke?

Oh, never thought I'd be a groom so many times

in one day.

Well, come on, let's get this show on the road.

See how fancy they look, Luke?

I don't know if we're cut out to be grooms.

("Here Comes the Bride" by Richard Wagner)

We are gathered here today in Purgatory

to join together our dear friends in holy matrimony.

Do you, Big Mike, Big Doc, Big Harry, Big Larry,

Big Ed, Big Fred, Big Ben, Big Sven,

Big Dan, Big Stan, Big Nicky,

and Little Ricky as represented by Luke,

do you all promise to love, cherish, and honor...

(door banging)

Elizabeth!

You don't have to marry anybody if you don't want to.

But if you're still of mind to,

I'd be proud.

Frank, I'd be honored.

Pardner.

Any time.

(soft instrumental music)

Big Harry, Big Larry, Big, well, I give up.

I now pronounce you all husbands and wives.

(-Here Comes the Bride- by Richard Wagner)

[Jolly Jumper] Wait a minute, Luke.

It says 13.

Correction.

Ha, 25.

For now.

? Of all the lonesome cowboys in the West

? I figure I've gotta be the lonesomest

? I want to right the reins where

? There's lots of elbow room

? Feel the wind blow free

? It's near the sage brush bloom

? Rather be on my own, son

? Singing my lonesome cowboy blues

? Yes, I'm a lonesomest cowboy that I know

? But when it comes to courtin' and such

? I move real slow

? Met a purty gal itchin' to get hitched the other day

? My horse got so upset we rode the other way

? I gotta be on my lonesome

? Singin' my lonesome cowboy blues

? Some folks think it's heaven in a hotel

? With their fluffed up pillows

? And your quilts piled high

? Well, I don't hanker for no hotels

? Just want to get my boots off by the campfire's glow

? While the lonely coyotes cry

? Well, my bed is my horse and saddle

I... I saw God fearing people...

stripped off the young women,

and struck down by minions of the Devil...

Evil men...

...led by two evil brothers...

I've seen them destroy many times as I wander from town to town...

From the hillside...

I watched helplessly,

and when I escaped,

the mexicans arrived,

I helped to bury the dead and clean the wounded...

What else could I do?...

What did they do to the women?

-You'll take the high road and I'll take the low road...-

-and I'll be in Scotland 'efore you...-

Where'd these brothers take the women?

-...for me and my true love we'll never meet again...-

Hey, Lony!...

Wait!... Wait for me!

Listen...

I brainalized...

...the gravity of the entire situation.

You're a man in need of help.

Can you use a gun?

Sometimes...

...the educated mind...

...is more powerful than the gun!

Or can you drive a wagon?

Can I darkswim?

Does the eagle fly?

Can you milk a cow?

Come on... Come on, let's go!

_ _ he got to meet the Philistins...

Stay upon 'em like a lion...

'cause there is always someone...

who through his own richessness, is stronger...

Someone like David... who waits...

...waits for one mistake... then strikes!

Why don't you do something?

Help us...

Fat pig!

Polk!... Stop!

Hey, take it easy, hmm?

She called me a fat pig!

Ah, forget about her out of here...

Why don't you go and have some fun?

What about tonight?

I... I'll take care of everything. You...

You just go and have some fun. Come on...

Come on, will you?...

Send two men with him and make sure he hasn't got any trouble.

Diana!

Diana, run!

They're coming again!

Look at me...

Music!

Music!

That's Polk Townsend. He and his brother Pike...

They're the ones who abduct your wife!

They raided the small border towns...

...taking all the women they want!

Now, what did you do with my wife?

They do things _ _ you wouldn't believe

in their auction dock down to Mexico, for work in whorehouses!

You really... want to know? ...Then I'll tell you...

You're goddam right, you gonna tell me...

I have taken up the Holy Book, so what you have to do...

By now humbly call upon the Lord...

...to hear my prayers!

You don't have to be afraid...

'cause I'm doing everything I can to get you out of here.

Ok?

Three hundred.

Hold it... Now this girl is a virgin,

she was gonna be married. Never-been-touched.

Come on, Pike... You know that I know virgins.

Lou... You're calling me a liar?

Yeah!

Run one for three fifty.

- Four hundred! - Five hundred!

If you ever wanna see that scumbag brother of yours again,

you do exactly what I say.

Stop!

Stop!

And you'd better pray... nobody tries to help you,

because you can kiss your ass goobye.

On your stomachs, hands behind your head!

On your bellies!

Alright, old man!...

I count on you!

Hart! Why can't you come with us?

This is the only way we can get a head short!

But Hart, I'm afraid...

We are afraid...

Look, I'll get up to you in the morning.

Just do what I say! Go on!

No...

Run!

Where is my brother?

You gonna get him.

First, I want all the gold.

What gold?

Everything you got buried in this place.

You know, if...

You played your cards, right? You"ve got anything you want...

Anything...

... 'cause you're damned good behind that gun...

Better than you?

Yeah, better than me...

...'cause you ain't have the men I have...

You're... ...You're _ _ thinking...

Maybe I'll get out of here alive and...

...maybe I won't.

Maybe I'll see my wife again and...

maybe we'll start a new life and...

maybe I won't come after you and kill you.

Ah, it's... too many maybes for me!

So, why don't you just put down that gun and... we'll talk...

...'cause you ain't go nowhere with all those maybes.

And maybe...

...you're a crock of shit.

Where's my brother?

I'll tell you in the morning.

Where's my brother?

I... I'll tell you in the morning.

Where's my brother?

I'll tell you in the morning...

Son of a bitch...

You said you wanted the gold?

And Polk better be where you say he is...

...or you can kiss YOUR ass goodbye...

Take 'em off of me! Take 'em off of me!

Cut me loose!

Oh... You don't know what I've been -!

This man... hit me...

He kicked me... He kicked me!

You're alright now!

You're alright.

No!

I'm not alright!

He kicked me...

He kicked me bad!

Calm down! I got him!

I got the guy that did this.

Where?

In the vault.

Hanging at the end of a rope.

Alive?

He is alive, brother...

Polk?

Polk!

Polk!

You!

Come here!

Come on, old man...

Come on!

Get up!

That's it, come on...

Breath!... That's it...

That's it...

He went completly mad!...

...Killed them all...

All the women...

Except your wife...

...said... I'd better pray...

...you find me...

And if it is...

...said to tell you...

...he is taking his brother home...

...across the border...

...to...to a town called...

...Quiet Dale.

Said to... tell you...

...He... He'll wait there for you...

...only... two days...

Hart...

...P... Pike could have killed Aberdeen!

Hart... He really wants you bad!

Alright, just take it easy...

Come on, drink some water. Come on...

It'll be alright... That's it, that's it...

Pike! This is between you and me!

She ain't got nothing to do with it!

Now, just cut her free and you got me!

No, Hart!

Save yourself!

Go... Go!

I don't want you... I want him!

Alive!

Ne fais pas l'idiot... ...They're too strong...

We gonna fight them...

We gonna kill 'em...

Now, you just hold on...

Get him!

Hey! Get the hell back here!

Hart?... Hart!

You can't leave it like this!

Cut me down, you son of a bitch!

Hart?... Maybe...

Maybe we can make a deal!

Maybe we can go further! Hart?

Maybe... Maybe we gonna talk about this...

He won't go nowhere with all those maybes...

Hey, Jake Hart!... I'll get you!...

You bastard! I swear I..