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1
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"When two guys pull
together, it's teamwork!"
2
00:00:39,708 --> 00:00:43,372
"In foul or sunny weather, it's teamwork!"
3
00:00:44,381 --> 00:00:47,976
"What does it take to
make any business climb?"
4
00:00:48,051 --> 00:00:51,681
"You'll find it takes teamwork every time"
5
00:00:52,490 --> 00:00:55,618
"lncidentally, your
jokes'll kill the yokels"
6
00:00:55,726 --> 00:00:57,216
"it's teamwork!"
7
00:00:58,696 --> 00:01:02,394
"I love your hokey vocals, it's teamwork!"
8
00:01:03,368 --> 00:01:05,632
"Like Fred Astaire and Ginger and..."
9
00:01:05,704 --> 00:01:10,733
"Twice as sleek, we'll give 'em
that teamwork, cheek to cheek!"
10
00:01:12,045 --> 00:01:16,539
"Here we are, just like in Zanzibar"
11
00:01:16,616 --> 00:01:19,016
"Still nothin', still a star!"
12
00:01:19,085 --> 00:01:21,646
"That's quite a stab from old flab!"
13
00:01:22,323 --> 00:01:26,282
"They always pay us plenty for teamwork!"
14
00:01:27,261 --> 00:01:29,422
"We split it 80-20"
15
00:01:29,496 --> 00:01:32,091
- That's teamwork?
- Yours is tax-free!
16
00:01:32,167 --> 00:01:35,762
"When others start to
part and go off the beam"
17
00:01:35,837 --> 00:01:37,668
"Like Siamese brothers"
18
00:01:38,073 --> 00:01:41,771
"Like Siamese brothers"
19
00:01:41,844 --> 00:01:45,905
"We'll be on each other's team!"
20
00:02:06,204 --> 00:02:10,004
"No fuss about the billing, it's teamwork!"
21
00:02:14,113 --> 00:02:17,947
"The smallest type is
thrilling, it's teamwork!"
22
00:02:21,755 --> 00:02:25,452
"Although we hold each other in low esteem"
23
00:02:25,525 --> 00:02:27,686
"We're loaded with teamwork"
24
00:02:27,827 --> 00:02:29,954
"What's life without teamwork?"
25
00:02:30,063 --> 00:02:34,228
"Unless you've got teamwork,
there's no team!"
26
00:04:22,554 --> 00:04:24,818
This is Hong Kong.
27
00:04:25,290 --> 00:04:29,283
A sprawling dragon nestled
on the soft underbelly of China.
28
00:04:30,162 --> 00:04:32,563
The flapping sails of its ancient junks...
29
00:04:32,632 --> 00:04:35,692
form a glittering gateway to the Orient.
30
00:04:36,369 --> 00:04:37,893
Yes, Hong Kong.
31
00:04:37,970 --> 00:04:41,133
Where a teeming population
crowd its narrow streets...
32
00:04:41,207 --> 00:04:44,507
while its people enjoy
the simple pleasures of life.
33
00:04:45,345 --> 00:04:46,573
Smoking.
34
00:04:46,914 --> 00:04:47,972
Eating.
35
00:04:48,215 --> 00:04:49,341
Laughing.
36
00:04:49,583 --> 00:04:51,016
Scratching.
37
00:04:51,985 --> 00:04:53,647
Sports-car racing.
38
00:04:55,023 --> 00:04:59,392
Yet beneath this placid facade,
Hong Kong wears another face.
39
00:04:59,694 --> 00:05:03,961
The inscrutable, sinister face
of mystery and intrigue.
40
00:05:04,333 --> 00:05:06,893
This typically congested oriental street...
41
00:05:06,969 --> 00:05:10,405
conceals American
secret-intelligence headquarters...
42
00:05:10,473 --> 00:05:12,965
where a top security agent
was summoned to hear...
43
00:05:13,043 --> 00:05:14,908
some desperate information.
44
00:05:14,978 --> 00:05:18,038
Information which indicated
that the destiny of the world...
45
00:05:18,114 --> 00:05:20,480
dangled by the merest thread.
46
00:05:20,750 --> 00:05:22,183
I got over as fast as could.
47
00:05:22,252 --> 00:05:23,948
Okay, let's hear about it.
48
00:05:24,021 --> 00:05:26,114
- You sure you haven't made a mistake?
- No, sir.
49
00:05:26,190 --> 00:05:29,648
You're sure the Russians have sent a man
around the moon in a spaceship?
50
00:05:29,794 --> 00:05:30,852
Not one man, sir, two.
51
00:05:30,928 --> 00:05:31,952
- Two?
- Yes, sir.
52
00:05:32,029 --> 00:05:33,793
And you say they sound like Americans?
53
00:05:33,866 --> 00:05:35,629
Just listen to this.
54
00:05:36,635 --> 00:05:38,000
Harry, is this fantastic?
55
00:05:38,070 --> 00:05:39,298
It's the only way to travel.
56
00:05:39,371 --> 00:05:40,395
What's our speed?
57
00:05:40,472 --> 00:05:43,374
About 23,000 miles an
hour, and we're parked.
58
00:05:45,011 --> 00:05:48,469
Now, why would they want
their astronauts to sound American?
59
00:05:48,548 --> 00:05:50,345
Russian humor, I suppose.
60
00:05:50,416 --> 00:05:52,612
Just another way of
rubbing our noses in it.
61
00:05:52,686 --> 00:05:54,620
Then why haven't they announced it?
62
00:05:54,688 --> 00:05:57,088
It's obvious,
they haven't recovered their men yet.
63
00:05:57,157 --> 00:05:58,624
And their path of descent?
64
00:05:58,692 --> 00:06:01,525
Somewhere in the neighborhood of Hong Kong.
65
00:06:02,429 --> 00:06:03,488
Yes?
66
00:06:04,266 --> 00:06:06,666
Yes. Bring her in.
67
00:06:07,602 --> 00:06:09,433
Young lady outside, somewhat hysterical.
68
00:06:09,504 --> 00:06:12,200
Claims to know something about all this.
69
00:06:13,175 --> 00:06:15,075
Take your hands off me.
70
00:06:15,144 --> 00:06:17,578
Look, you've simply got to help me!
71
00:06:17,647 --> 00:06:20,172
Those men you're looking for
are in terrible trouble.
72
00:06:20,249 --> 00:06:24,050
If you don't do something about it,
they'll be dead within the hour.
73
00:06:24,121 --> 00:06:26,487
The two Russians?
74
00:06:26,590 --> 00:06:28,922
They're not Russians. They're Americans.
75
00:06:28,992 --> 00:06:31,426
- And you know them?
- Of course I know them!
76
00:06:31,495 --> 00:06:34,465
- Who are they?
- Harry Turner and Chester Babcock.
77
00:06:35,266 --> 00:06:37,029
Turner and Babcock?
78
00:06:37,468 --> 00:06:38,833
Say, don't we know those names?
79
00:06:38,903 --> 00:06:40,393
A couple of ex-vaudevillians, sir.
80
00:06:40,471 --> 00:06:43,999
They're wanted for fraud by practically
every country in the Far East.
81
00:06:44,143 --> 00:06:48,273
And you mean to tell me these are the men
the Russians have sent round the moon?
82
00:06:48,347 --> 00:06:50,008
They were not sent by the Russians.
83
00:06:50,082 --> 00:06:52,915
- Certainly you're not suggesting...
- Nor the Americans.
84
00:06:53,186 --> 00:06:56,087
- Then who sent them?
- The Third Echelon.
85
00:06:56,690 --> 00:06:59,523
- The Third what?
- A third force.
86
00:06:59,693 --> 00:07:03,095
More desperate, more knowledgeable,
and infinitely more dangerous...
87
00:07:03,164 --> 00:07:05,257
then either the
Russians or the Americans.
88
00:07:05,333 --> 00:07:07,563
How do you know of this force?
89
00:07:08,169 --> 00:07:11,002
Because until yesterday,
I was a part of it.
90
00:07:11,939 --> 00:07:13,805
Look, you expect me to believe...
91
00:07:13,875 --> 00:07:16,366
that these phonies
could be made into astronauts...
92
00:07:16,445 --> 00:07:18,936
then sent round the moon
by some mysterious force...
93
00:07:19,014 --> 00:07:21,244
more powerful than
either us or the Russians?
94
00:07:21,316 --> 00:07:24,286
Sir, I know it's incredible,
but you must believe me.
95
00:07:24,354 --> 00:07:26,117
Now, please listen to me.
96
00:07:27,190 --> 00:07:30,182
It all started in Calcutta
about 10 days ago.
97
00:07:30,793 --> 00:07:34,491
Turner and Babcock were involved
in the latest of their frauds.
98
00:07:34,565 --> 00:07:37,033
As usual it was involved with space.
99
00:07:37,468 --> 00:07:38,594
Hurry.
100
00:07:38,669 --> 00:07:42,161
Buy your tickets on the outside.
Get your stock on the inside.
101
00:07:42,373 --> 00:07:46,003
See the thrilling demonstration
of the one, the only...
102
00:07:46,077 --> 00:07:49,774
the original, intercontinental,
interspatial, interplanetary...
103
00:07:49,848 --> 00:07:51,509
Fly-it-Yourself kit.
104
00:07:51,583 --> 00:07:53,984
Be the first man on your
block into outer space.
105
00:07:54,053 --> 00:07:56,851
Fly to the moon. Stake a claim. Now, hurry.
106
00:07:56,922 --> 00:07:59,857
What is it, boy? Oh, yeah?
107
00:08:00,893 --> 00:08:02,861
Oh, well, get your tickets!
108
00:08:02,928 --> 00:08:06,262
The demonstration starts immediately.
Now, hurry!
109
00:08:10,604 --> 00:08:12,231
Hey, this thing's going to work fine.
110
00:08:12,305 --> 00:08:14,638
How about that brave
native we hired to fly it?
111
00:08:14,709 --> 00:08:17,041
- We've got a great crowd out there, Chester.
- Yeah?
112
00:08:17,111 --> 00:08:20,842
This is the biggest thing we've ever
pulled. Let's try on the helmet.
113
00:08:20,915 --> 00:08:23,611
- There we are!
- That fits nice, doesn't it?
114
00:08:23,952 --> 00:08:26,819
Look at that. Let's try the jacket.
Look at that material!
115
00:08:26,889 --> 00:08:28,049
Give me that good right arm.
116
00:08:28,123 --> 00:08:30,455
Is that native gonna love that?
He's gonna...
117
00:08:30,893 --> 00:08:32,758
Here we go, now.
118
00:08:32,828 --> 00:08:34,319
Well, wait. What are you doing?
119
00:08:34,397 --> 00:08:35,796
We're gonna try on the pants.
120
00:08:35,865 --> 00:08:36,957
What about the native?
121
00:08:37,033 --> 00:08:39,627
You don't want to keep
400 paid-up stockholders waiting.
122
00:08:39,703 --> 00:08:42,866
- Waiting for what?
- The maiden flight of Fly-it-Yourself.
123
00:08:43,006 --> 00:08:45,271
And who's going to fly the maiden flight?
124
00:08:45,342 --> 00:08:46,502
- You are.
- I am?
125
00:08:46,577 --> 00:08:48,943
The brave native flew.
You're all we've got left.
126
00:08:49,013 --> 00:08:51,481
I'm all I've got left, and
I won't spread it around.
127
00:08:51,549 --> 00:08:52,948
A flash about Fly-it-Yourself.
128
00:08:53,017 --> 00:08:54,349
- What?
- Fly it yourself.
129
00:08:54,419 --> 00:08:55,681
Now, Ches boy...
130
00:08:55,754 --> 00:08:57,915
"Ches boy!" All of a
sudden, I'm "Ches boy."
131
00:08:57,989 --> 00:09:00,480
Every time you want me to risk my life,
I'm "Ches boy."
132
00:09:00,559 --> 00:09:02,652
- Don't blow a gasket.
- Let me say one thing.
133
00:09:02,728 --> 00:09:04,560
- You know I hated to ask you.
- "Ches boy!"
134
00:09:04,630 --> 00:09:08,259
- I didn't want to ask you.
- I can see the tears forming in your wallet.
135
00:09:08,334 --> 00:09:11,599
Only one thing keeps me from going up
and flying that thing myself.
136
00:09:11,671 --> 00:09:13,536
- I know. You're chicken.
- No, Ches...
137
00:09:13,606 --> 00:09:16,303
Let me say one thing.
I'm as chicken as you. Chickener.
138
00:09:16,376 --> 00:09:18,003
Chester, the clothes won't fit me.
139
00:09:18,078 --> 00:09:19,670
Okay, we'll make a few alterations.
140
00:09:19,747 --> 00:09:20,839
What're you doing?
141
00:09:20,914 --> 00:09:22,882
There. We'll have your head reblocked...
142
00:09:22,950 --> 00:09:24,976
pump you up a little
bit and you're ready.
143
00:09:25,053 --> 00:09:27,214
And I'll cheer. I'll be on the ground.
144
00:09:27,288 --> 00:09:29,552
You know that I want to go, but I can't.
145
00:09:29,624 --> 00:09:32,092
- Why not?
- I've got to be on the ground.
146
00:09:32,160 --> 00:09:33,422
- What for?
- For the landing.
147
00:09:33,495 --> 00:09:35,896
For the public relations
and the press and magazines.
148
00:09:35,965 --> 00:09:38,559
And the splints and the plasma. No, not me.
149
00:09:38,634 --> 00:09:40,761
Get another pigeon. Not me, boy. No, sir.
150
00:09:40,836 --> 00:09:42,997
All right, if that's the
way you feel about it.
151
00:09:43,072 --> 00:09:45,007
That's the way I feel about it.
152
00:09:45,075 --> 00:09:49,671
All those 400 paid-up stockholders,
all that loot. Gonna blow it.
153
00:09:49,746 --> 00:09:51,577
Blow it? Why don't we take a powder?
154
00:09:51,648 --> 00:09:53,013
Gaze.
155
00:09:54,952 --> 00:09:57,546
They're here to see
the people get their money's worth...
156
00:09:57,622 --> 00:09:59,317
or their money back.
157
00:09:59,390 --> 00:10:02,223
If only I could get my hands
on that brave native...
158
00:10:02,293 --> 00:10:03,487
I'd go with him.
159
00:10:03,561 --> 00:10:06,929
Chester, I give you my solemn word.
This time it's not dangerous.
160
00:10:06,999 --> 00:10:10,093
Not dangerous? You said that
when you shot me out of a cannon.
161
00:10:10,169 --> 00:10:12,262
When you dropped me in a
tank with an octopus.
162
00:10:12,337 --> 00:10:15,171
When you had me wrestle a gorilla.
"It's not dangerous."
163
00:10:15,241 --> 00:10:19,974
I'm not going. I'm through.
I've had it. So forget it, Charlie!
164
00:10:24,885 --> 00:10:26,512
Now what are you worrying about?
165
00:10:26,587 --> 00:10:28,521
I don't like the location of the propeller.
166
00:10:28,589 --> 00:10:29,589
Why not?
167
00:10:29,657 --> 00:10:31,852
I don't like things going
on behind my back.
168
00:10:31,926 --> 00:10:34,292
You're going to soar,
soar just like a bird.
169
00:10:34,361 --> 00:10:36,796
I hope I drop an egg, on guess who.
170
00:10:36,932 --> 00:10:39,332
Why do I always have to
do the dangerous stuff?
171
00:10:39,401 --> 00:10:41,596
Just the nature of our
relationship, dear boy.
172
00:10:41,670 --> 00:10:45,300
One of us has the brains,
one of us has the brawn.
173
00:10:45,374 --> 00:10:47,274
Just like one's firm...
174
00:10:47,476 --> 00:10:48,568
the other's flab.
175
00:10:48,644 --> 00:10:51,511
You got a program?
So far I don't recognize anyone.
176
00:10:51,881 --> 00:10:53,781
Don't get sore at me.
177
00:10:53,916 --> 00:10:54,941
It's a plot point.
178
00:10:55,018 --> 00:10:57,384
Besides, this whole deal's
going to be a cinch.
179
00:10:57,454 --> 00:11:00,150
Everything's a cinch, and
I wind up on crutches.
180
00:11:00,224 --> 00:11:02,556
Don't I always get you the
best medical attention?
181
00:11:02,626 --> 00:11:05,391
Yeah, like that doctor you got me
in Bombay last month.
182
00:11:05,463 --> 00:11:07,829
How was I going to know
he was an elephant doctor?
183
00:11:07,899 --> 00:11:10,459
You should have known
by the size of his thermometer.
184
00:11:11,169 --> 00:11:12,602
Yes, it was a bit large.
185
00:11:12,670 --> 00:11:14,638
When he shook it, I was still on it.
186
00:11:14,806 --> 00:11:17,002
I think he used to be a pole-vaulter.
187
00:11:17,076 --> 00:11:19,044
You don't have to tell me that.
188
00:11:19,478 --> 00:11:21,002
Well, here we go.
189
00:11:21,080 --> 00:11:24,208
Wait. How high am I going to go?
190
00:11:24,483 --> 00:11:26,543
- Only 200 feet.
- 200 feet!
191
00:11:26,620 --> 00:11:28,520
Yes, you'll make history like Lindbergh!
192
00:11:28,588 --> 00:11:30,818
Lindbergh had a plane,
not a malted-milk machine!
193
00:11:30,891 --> 00:11:33,359
Don't worry, everything will be fine.
Let's go, boys!
194
00:11:33,426 --> 00:11:35,793
Here we go. Pull it back.
195
00:11:36,197 --> 00:11:39,030
Hey! Wait a minute. I don't like this.
196
00:11:39,100 --> 00:11:41,068
Get out of there. Contact!
197
00:11:43,471 --> 00:11:44,495
Let's point him.
198
00:11:44,572 --> 00:11:47,201
Is there an insurance machine around here?
199
00:11:47,276 --> 00:11:49,437
Stop worrying. Everything's all right.
200
00:11:49,511 --> 00:11:50,842
Happy landings, Buster.
201
00:11:50,913 --> 00:11:53,882
I don't know what you're so happy about.
You're not in my will.
202
00:11:53,949 --> 00:11:56,441
Release the feet, let him go.
203
00:11:57,053 --> 00:11:58,714
Geronimo!
204
00:12:23,748 --> 00:12:24,908
Hello.
205
00:12:25,283 --> 00:12:26,683
What's that?
206
00:12:27,420 --> 00:12:28,682
Chester.
207
00:12:29,088 --> 00:12:30,521
Who are you?
208
00:12:30,723 --> 00:12:31,781
Who am I?
209
00:12:31,891 --> 00:12:33,324
Yes. You seem like...
210
00:12:33,392 --> 00:12:34,757
a nice, pleasant fellow.
211
00:12:34,827 --> 00:12:37,626
Friendly, saggy, and a little overdressed.
212
00:12:37,831 --> 00:12:40,823
Chester, I'm your partner, Harry Turner.
213
00:12:41,101 --> 00:12:43,626
- Harry?
- Yeah. Harry Turner. Your pal.
214
00:12:43,770 --> 00:12:44,862
Pal?
215
00:12:45,038 --> 00:12:47,974
Chester, for 20 years,
we've been bosom friends.
216
00:12:48,042 --> 00:12:49,236
Bosom?
217
00:12:49,444 --> 00:12:50,843
What's that?
218
00:12:51,145 --> 00:12:53,340
You have lost your memory, haven't you?
219
00:12:53,514 --> 00:12:56,006
Come on, Chester, try and remember.
Try real hard.
220
00:12:56,085 --> 00:12:57,552
Who am I, now?
221
00:12:57,686 --> 00:13:00,587
You look friendly and fatherly.
222
00:13:00,789 --> 00:13:01,881
Are you my father?
223
00:13:01,957 --> 00:13:04,323
- No, I'm not your father.
- You're not my father.
224
00:13:04,393 --> 00:13:06,123
Could you possibly be my mother?
225
00:13:06,196 --> 00:13:07,925
We're not even sure you had one.
226
00:13:08,064 --> 00:13:11,500
Got to get something to
jolt your memory. Here.
227
00:13:11,901 --> 00:13:13,266
Who's that?
228
00:13:14,237 --> 00:13:16,934
I don't know, but give me
a stick and I'll kill it!
229
00:13:18,209 --> 00:13:20,200
Think carefully. Who does that look like?
230
00:13:20,277 --> 00:13:23,303
I don't know. A nice, handsome fellow.
Dashing, devil-may-care.
231
00:13:23,381 --> 00:13:25,246
Irresistible to women.
232
00:13:25,649 --> 00:13:27,117
And you've never heard of "bosom"?
233
00:13:27,185 --> 00:13:28,345
Never.
234
00:13:28,754 --> 00:13:31,279
Boy! We've got a lot of work to do.
235
00:13:32,424 --> 00:13:33,823
Never mind!
236
00:13:34,226 --> 00:13:37,958
So Harry Turner desperately tried
to regain his friend's memory.
237
00:13:38,031 --> 00:13:42,195
He took him to the most highly
respected neurologist in India.
238
00:13:53,313 --> 00:13:55,008
What is it, Doctor?
239
00:13:56,183 --> 00:13:57,845
Terrible heartburn.
240
00:13:57,919 --> 00:14:01,355
Put too much curry in my cornflakes,
you understand. One moment please.
241
00:14:01,423 --> 00:14:04,051
Don't mind if I smarten myself up
in front of you. Now.
242
00:14:04,125 --> 00:14:05,285
Comes the examination.
243
00:14:05,360 --> 00:14:07,693
Please, taking that down a minute.
Now. One second.
244
00:14:07,763 --> 00:14:09,128
Looking in here.
245
00:14:09,265 --> 00:14:11,233
My goodness gracious me!
246
00:14:11,934 --> 00:14:13,925
Would you look in the other ear, please?
247
00:14:14,236 --> 00:14:15,236
Well?
248
00:14:15,304 --> 00:14:16,795
I can see you.
249
00:14:16,873 --> 00:14:18,238
That's strange, I can see you.
250
00:14:18,308 --> 00:14:20,071
That's since I put in air-conditioning.
251
00:14:20,143 --> 00:14:22,805
- What do I look like?
- You look like you need a doctor.
252
00:14:22,879 --> 00:14:25,370
I don't know where
I could find a doctor at this time.
253
00:14:25,449 --> 00:14:27,611
Will you please get on
with the examination?
254
00:14:27,685 --> 00:14:28,947
No. Tell you what I'll do.
255
00:14:29,020 --> 00:14:31,113
- What?
- I will get on with my examination.
256
00:14:31,189 --> 00:14:35,751
The most important point at this stage of
the proceedings is the matter of the fee.
257
00:14:35,827 --> 00:14:37,625
Since you are fine American gentlemen...
258
00:14:37,696 --> 00:14:41,063
I am offering you my special
European fee of 1,200 rupees.
259
00:14:41,133 --> 00:14:42,327
1,200 rupees?
260
00:14:42,401 --> 00:14:44,892
Right. Open your mouth and say...
261
00:14:47,474 --> 00:14:51,103
You are suffering from a severe attack
of teeth and two cavities.
262
00:14:51,311 --> 00:14:53,472
I will fill them for you for 600 rupees.
263
00:14:53,546 --> 00:14:55,980
- Are you a doctor or a dentist?
- What do you need?
264
00:14:56,049 --> 00:14:58,678
- I need to get my memory back.
- Just one moment, please.
265
00:14:58,752 --> 00:15:01,516
Could you use some French postcards?
266
00:15:01,622 --> 00:15:03,146
- No.
- Pity.
267
00:15:03,224 --> 00:15:05,021
Slightly used Havana cigar?
268
00:15:05,092 --> 00:15:06,582
No.
269
00:15:07,028 --> 00:15:09,758
Underwater inflatable bust of Yogi Berra?
270
00:15:09,898 --> 00:15:10,922
No.
271
00:15:10,999 --> 00:15:12,557
Pity. It's going for a song.
272
00:15:15,003 --> 00:15:17,302
Thank you very much for the...
273
00:15:19,142 --> 00:15:21,110
- And I'm the patient?
- That's what I thought.
274
00:15:21,177 --> 00:15:23,611
Come on.
We want to get this fellow's memory back.
275
00:15:23,679 --> 00:15:25,146
Will you get on with the therapy?
276
00:15:25,214 --> 00:15:26,909
No, but I'll tell you what I do.
277
00:15:26,984 --> 00:15:28,645
- What?
- I'll get on with the therapy.
278
00:15:28,719 --> 00:15:32,678
First of all, we have the special all-lndia
close-up eye-test reading chart.
279
00:15:32,756 --> 00:15:35,190
Read from the fourth line down.
Thank you very much.
280
00:15:35,259 --> 00:15:38,388
"I owe you 1,300 rupees."
281
00:15:38,463 --> 00:15:40,590
1,300? A minute ago it was 1,200.
282
00:15:40,665 --> 00:15:43,156
You should have jumped at it
when you had the chance.
283
00:15:43,234 --> 00:15:45,259
Doctor, there's nothing wrong with my eyes.
284
00:15:45,336 --> 00:15:48,329
No, as a matter of fact,
you've got very beautiful eyes.
285
00:15:48,407 --> 00:15:51,308
Never mind. I'll tell you what I will do.
286
00:15:51,810 --> 00:15:54,506
I will start the special
long-distance eye test now.
287
00:15:54,580 --> 00:15:56,775
Where's the sausages in here?
288
00:16:02,756 --> 00:16:04,656
I'm so sorry. It's my mother.
289
00:16:04,858 --> 00:16:06,485
Sorry.
290
00:16:07,395 --> 00:16:08,828
Now then. Here.
291
00:16:08,896 --> 00:16:10,261
I'm giving you the eye test...
292
00:16:10,331 --> 00:16:13,789
constructed for American
gentlemen visiting our country. Now then.
293
00:16:13,868 --> 00:16:16,530
One, two, three, fourth line down.
Read it, please.
294
00:16:16,704 --> 00:16:19,697
- But that's lndian. I can't read lndian.
- I'll read it for you.
295
00:16:19,775 --> 00:16:23,302
No, better still, I'll play it for you.
Wait a minute.
296
00:16:26,715 --> 00:16:28,115
Just a second.
297
00:16:28,318 --> 00:16:31,014
Damn old flies. They get
everywhere, you know?
298
00:16:48,673 --> 00:16:50,072
Hey, Doc!
299
00:16:50,141 --> 00:16:53,372
- What? Don't worry about that.
- Don't worry? What if he bites me?
300
00:16:53,445 --> 00:16:55,970
Nothing to worry about.
If he should give you a nip...
301
00:16:56,047 --> 00:16:59,449
all you do is get hold of your
bowie knife, make a cut on here...
302
00:16:59,518 --> 00:17:01,986
suck out the poison and spit it away.
Very simple.
303
00:17:02,054 --> 00:17:04,784
But what if he bites me
in a place where I can't reach?
304
00:17:05,091 --> 00:17:07,856
That is when you find out
who your real friends are.
305
00:17:08,428 --> 00:17:09,428
Let's get out of here.
306
00:17:09,496 --> 00:17:11,555
No, seriously, please, listen to me.
307
00:17:11,632 --> 00:17:14,465
If you want to get your memory back,
there's one place to go.
308
00:17:14,534 --> 00:17:15,933
In the mountains of Tibet.
309
00:17:16,003 --> 00:17:17,972
A lamasery, wonderful place.
310
00:17:18,039 --> 00:17:20,405
Instantly give you a secret herb,
back comes memory.
311
00:17:20,475 --> 00:17:22,875
- You're sure of this?
- Dear fellow, absolutely sure.
312
00:17:22,944 --> 00:17:26,175
Once I had a terrible attack
of the can't-remember-nothing...
313
00:17:26,247 --> 00:17:29,513
my name, who I was, what I was doing,
where I am, what's going on.
314
00:17:29,585 --> 00:17:33,077
Then I took the secret herb.
Instantly, back came everything. Wonderful.
315
00:17:33,155 --> 00:17:34,679
Where is this place?
316
00:17:34,957 --> 00:17:36,481
I'm sorry, I can't remember.
317
00:17:36,558 --> 00:17:39,221
- Let's get out of here.
- Don't worry.
318
00:17:41,531 --> 00:17:44,056
All right, Sam, let's have some jazz, man.
319
00:17:46,102 --> 00:17:49,129
The boys consulted another
doctor and discovered...
320
00:17:49,206 --> 00:17:53,108
there really was such a lamasery,
where memory could be restored.
321
00:17:53,177 --> 00:17:54,974
En route to the lamasery...
322
00:17:55,046 --> 00:17:58,710
the boys booked passage on a plane
that departed from Calcutta.
323
00:17:58,784 --> 00:18:02,049
It was in that airport that
my path was destined to cross...
324
00:18:02,120 --> 00:18:04,145
that of Babcock and Turner.
325
00:18:04,222 --> 00:18:07,282
I had been sent there to
contact one of our secret agents.
326
00:18:07,359 --> 00:18:10,329
He was returning from Moscow,
where he had just stolen...
327
00:18:10,396 --> 00:18:13,297
the top-secret formula
for the Russian rocket fuel...
328
00:18:13,366 --> 00:18:14,731
when...
329
00:18:14,967 --> 00:18:18,198
I am being followed, so listen carefully.
I can only say this once.
330
00:18:18,339 --> 00:18:20,671
Here is the formula. You
will microfilm it...
331
00:18:20,741 --> 00:18:23,266
destroy these papers
and send the film to Hong Kong.
332
00:18:23,344 --> 00:18:24,368
Very well.
333
00:18:24,445 --> 00:18:26,310
- Have you made all the arrangements?
- Yes.
334
00:18:26,380 --> 00:18:28,849
- Who's the photographer?
- That's no concern of yours.
335
00:18:28,917 --> 00:18:32,375
You'll identify him by three
concentric circles on his camera bag.
336
00:18:32,454 --> 00:18:33,614
Three concentric circles?
337
00:18:33,688 --> 00:18:35,849
He will contact you right
here in the airport.
338
00:18:35,924 --> 00:18:38,290
- You mustn't fail.
- Don't worry.
339
00:18:49,506 --> 00:18:51,235
I hope that doctor's right.
340
00:18:51,308 --> 00:18:53,868
- You sure I'll get my memory back?
- That's what he said.
341
00:18:53,944 --> 00:18:55,571
What if I only get part of it back?
342
00:18:55,645 --> 00:18:58,638
All I want you to get back
is the part where you left our money.
343
00:18:58,716 --> 00:19:01,446
What about women?
What if I don't remember them?
344
00:19:01,519 --> 00:19:04,352
We'll send you to school.
Learning can be fun.
345
00:19:04,422 --> 00:19:05,616
- No!
- Yes.
346
00:19:06,157 --> 00:19:08,125
Suppose I should meet someone right now.
347
00:19:08,192 --> 00:19:10,388
What did I do? How did
I used to get started?
348
00:19:10,462 --> 00:19:13,795
You were electric.
You overwhelmed them with your personality.
349
00:19:13,866 --> 00:19:15,891
- You used to give them the suave smile.
- Yeah?
350
00:19:15,968 --> 00:19:17,265
- The raised eyebrow.
- No.
351
00:19:17,336 --> 00:19:19,805
- The knowing wink.
- Yeah, and then?
352
00:19:19,973 --> 00:19:22,703
No, you're not ready for "and then" yet.
353
00:19:22,776 --> 00:19:24,767
- And that's all there was to it?
- That's all.
354
00:19:24,844 --> 00:19:26,539
Just the suave smile?
355
00:19:27,247 --> 00:19:28,977
- The raised eyebrow?
- Yes.
356
00:19:29,049 --> 00:19:30,676
- The knowing wink?
- That's it.
357
00:19:31,519 --> 00:19:32,918
Steady!
358
00:19:32,987 --> 00:19:35,319
You almost sold me there, you rascal you.
359
00:19:35,389 --> 00:19:36,447
I'm hooked!
360
00:19:36,524 --> 00:19:38,424
Steady, don't waste none of that.
361
00:19:38,492 --> 00:19:40,154
- I can't get out of it.
- No. Come on.
362
00:19:40,228 --> 00:19:43,061
Listen, I'll check on the tickets,
and you get the bags.
363
00:19:43,265 --> 00:19:44,732
- Bags?
- Yeah, the luggage.
364
00:19:44,800 --> 00:19:47,564
That stuff there. Come on. Look alive!
365
00:20:06,056 --> 00:20:08,422
Let's see. There was a suave smile.
366
00:20:11,062 --> 00:20:12,859
The knowing wink.
367
00:20:16,634 --> 00:20:17,931
And then...
368
00:20:21,540 --> 00:20:24,031
I've got a feeling the "and
then" is the best part.
369
00:20:24,810 --> 00:20:26,675
I hope I'm ready for it.
370
00:20:27,880 --> 00:20:30,042
Do you think we're being watched?
371
00:20:30,116 --> 00:20:31,276
Definitely.
372
00:20:31,351 --> 00:20:33,012
Then we'll have to hurry.
373
00:20:33,153 --> 00:20:35,587
- Have we got time?
- If you work fast.
374
00:20:35,655 --> 00:20:37,486
- I'll do my best.
- Good.
375
00:20:37,557 --> 00:20:40,026
- I've got the room ready at the hotel.
- Good.
376
00:20:40,094 --> 00:20:42,528
- I've made all the arrangements.
- Fine.
377
00:20:42,597 --> 00:20:44,827
- The shades are all drawn.
- Very sensible.
378
00:20:44,899 --> 00:20:47,060
And we can lock the door from the inside.
379
00:20:47,134 --> 00:20:50,593
Good. I'd hate to get a crowd
until I get the hang of it.
380
00:20:51,540 --> 00:20:53,064
So much depends on you.
381
00:20:53,141 --> 00:20:55,609
Are you sure you've done
this sort of thing before?
382
00:20:55,677 --> 00:20:57,201
I must have.
383
00:20:58,947 --> 00:21:00,279
When do we start?
384
00:21:00,350 --> 00:21:01,544
Right now!
385
00:21:02,519 --> 00:21:06,011
Darling, it's so wonderful
to see you again!
386
00:21:09,793 --> 00:21:11,920
- You've got it!
- I know it.
387
00:21:12,796 --> 00:21:14,457
- Don't lose it!
- Don't worry.
388
00:21:14,532 --> 00:21:17,057
- See you at the hotel.
- Pull the shades, lock the door.
389
00:21:17,134 --> 00:21:18,658
- One final thing.
- Yes?
390
00:21:18,736 --> 00:21:20,602
In case I'm late, go ahead without me.
391
00:21:20,672 --> 00:21:22,401
Fine, I'll do that.
392
00:21:28,847 --> 00:21:31,646
- What was that about?
- I think I'm ready for the "and then."
393
00:21:31,717 --> 00:21:35,118
You've passed "and then." You're all
the way up to "How about that?"
394
00:21:35,187 --> 00:21:38,714
I got a date at the hotel with
the shades drawn and the doors locked.
395
00:21:38,791 --> 00:21:39,850
I can't believe this.
396
00:21:39,927 --> 00:21:42,327
She said if she was late,
I should start without her.
397
00:21:42,396 --> 00:21:43,556
Now I believe it.
398
00:21:43,630 --> 00:21:44,858
Come on.
399
00:21:46,867 --> 00:21:49,427
- What are you doing with that?
- You told me it was ours.
400
00:21:49,503 --> 00:21:53,338
Not that one. We'd better put it back.
Come on, we'll be late for the plane.
401
00:21:56,878 --> 00:21:59,972
We may not need the plane.
I think I'm getting it back.
402
00:22:08,857 --> 00:22:10,758
We need the plane.
403
00:22:13,863 --> 00:22:16,593
Babcock and Turner's plane
had already taken off...
404
00:22:16,666 --> 00:22:18,759
when I discovered my mistake.
405
00:22:18,835 --> 00:22:22,067
I also learned that the two men
had booked round-trip tickets...
406
00:22:22,139 --> 00:22:24,004
and would be back within a week.
407
00:22:24,108 --> 00:22:26,702
There was nothing I could do but wait.
408
00:22:27,011 --> 00:22:29,104
I would have been more
anxious if I'd known...
409
00:22:29,180 --> 00:22:31,843
they were heading
for the desolate Kulrabi Mountains...
410
00:22:32,117 --> 00:22:35,644
and the distant fabled
lamasery at Jaipuri.
411
00:22:40,526 --> 00:22:42,585
Well, it's clearing up, isn't it?
412
00:22:42,662 --> 00:22:45,495
Say, Grandpa, we're told you could help us.
413
00:22:45,565 --> 00:22:47,192
My friend here has lost his memory.
414
00:22:47,266 --> 00:22:48,392
I don't remember anything.
415
00:22:48,468 --> 00:22:50,869
I don't remember what money is,
what I did with it...
416
00:22:50,938 --> 00:22:52,906
what girls are and what I did with them.
417
00:22:52,973 --> 00:22:56,966
In life, my brother,
money and girls are not important.
418
00:22:58,112 --> 00:23:01,014
- This guy needs a few weeks in Las Vegas.
- Let me talk to him.
419
00:23:01,082 --> 00:23:03,414
Look, we'd like to negotiate a deal.
420
00:23:03,485 --> 00:23:06,249
- Who's in charge of mental health?
- Mental health?
421
00:23:06,321 --> 00:23:09,654
Who's the boss, the number-one fellow?
Who pays the tab on the pad?
422
00:23:09,724 --> 00:23:11,317
Who signs the scrolls?
423
00:23:11,394 --> 00:23:12,759
The Grand Lama.
424
00:23:13,396 --> 00:23:14,522
Grand Lama.
425
00:23:14,597 --> 00:23:15,757
He's the pro here?
426
00:23:15,831 --> 00:23:17,025
Jack Lama, I think it is.
427
00:23:17,099 --> 00:23:18,930
We'd like to make an appointment.
428
00:23:19,001 --> 00:23:22,563
Very well. Follow me. I will prepare you.
429
00:23:22,673 --> 00:23:24,140
Bring your niblick.
430
00:23:24,307 --> 00:23:26,332
Maybe the house detective.
431
00:23:26,743 --> 00:23:29,678
Please, my sons, do not despair.
432
00:23:29,880 --> 00:23:34,580
Help is never denied those
whose destiny crosses our threshold.
433
00:23:34,886 --> 00:23:37,912
- Come, and we shall see what we can do.
- He may be the man.
434
00:23:37,989 --> 00:23:40,321
You don't win a hat like that
playing mumblety-pegs.
435
00:23:40,391 --> 00:23:41,416
No.
436
00:23:43,395 --> 00:23:48,389
We are administering an ancient and
obscure herb known as Piutus Memoryorus.
437
00:23:49,001 --> 00:23:53,803
In many cases, it has been known to effect
an almost instantaneous recovery.
438
00:24:04,719 --> 00:24:05,811
Yes.
439
00:24:06,020 --> 00:24:08,682
- Yes, my son?
- It's coming back.
440
00:24:08,756 --> 00:24:10,223
I think I'm beginning to remember.
441
00:24:10,291 --> 00:24:13,227
Great! Now. What's my name?
442
00:24:13,762 --> 00:24:15,821
- Name?
- Yeah. My name.
443
00:24:15,897 --> 00:24:18,457
Har-ry Tru-Tru-Truman.
444
00:24:18,533 --> 00:24:20,398
No.
445
00:24:20,502 --> 00:24:22,027
Har-ry...
446
00:24:22,105 --> 00:24:23,538
- Concentrate!
- Harry Concentrate!
447
00:24:23,606 --> 00:24:24,800
No!
448
00:24:24,874 --> 00:24:26,136
Har-ry...
449
00:24:26,776 --> 00:24:29,210
- Tur-ner!
- Right! You've got it.
450
00:24:29,278 --> 00:24:32,271
- Harry Turner!
- What's your name?
451
00:24:32,349 --> 00:24:36,285
- Chester Babcock?
- Right.
452
00:24:36,353 --> 00:24:37,945
Chester Babcock.
453
00:24:38,021 --> 00:24:40,854
- A name like that I remember.
- I think he's getting it back.
454
00:24:40,924 --> 00:24:42,950
- Now tell me, how much is two and two?
- Four.
455
00:24:43,027 --> 00:24:44,051
- Four and four?
- Eight.
456
00:24:44,129 --> 00:24:45,596
- Eight and eight?
- Seventeen.
457
00:24:45,663 --> 00:24:48,097
That's our boy again. He's with us again.
458
00:24:48,166 --> 00:24:51,534
And now, my son,
having regained your memory...
459
00:24:51,604 --> 00:24:53,731
you are one of the chosen few...
460
00:24:53,806 --> 00:24:57,139
eligible to experience
the ecstatic joys...
461
00:24:57,209 --> 00:25:00,144
of the Hall of Total Recollection.
462
00:25:00,579 --> 00:25:04,914
You see, those who respond
to the Piutus Memoryorus...
463
00:25:04,985 --> 00:25:09,979
also respond to a still-rarer herb,
the Piutus Bushkinorus.
464
00:25:10,190 --> 00:25:12,159
Piutus Bushkinorus?
465
00:25:12,260 --> 00:25:14,285
You can get that from a bad audience.
466
00:25:14,362 --> 00:25:15,420
Watch it.
467
00:25:15,496 --> 00:25:17,191
You mean these characters here are...
468
00:25:17,265 --> 00:25:19,665
remembering all that's been put
in front of them?
469
00:25:19,734 --> 00:25:23,796
They are, at the moment,
reading and remembering great literature.
470
00:25:23,872 --> 00:25:26,602
That one is remembering the Odyssey.
471
00:25:26,975 --> 00:25:29,170
That one, the Iliad.
472
00:25:29,545 --> 00:25:31,912
And that one, Shakespeare.
473
00:25:32,282 --> 00:25:34,716
What about that one, over there?
474
00:25:38,588 --> 00:25:40,453
What's he remembering?
475
00:25:40,857 --> 00:25:42,485
Lady Chatterley's Lover.
476
00:25:45,029 --> 00:25:48,829
Lady Chatterley's Lover.
He must have the one with pictures.
477
00:25:48,999 --> 00:25:51,593
And I had to leave
my library card in my other robe.
478
00:25:51,669 --> 00:25:55,629
Will this Piutus Bushkinorus work
on my friend Chester here?
479
00:25:55,707 --> 00:25:58,369
Precisely. If you will come with me.
480
00:25:58,443 --> 00:26:01,708
Do you realize what a memory act
we could do with some of this stuff?
481
00:26:01,780 --> 00:26:02,900
- Crazy!
- Just the greatest!
482
00:26:02,949 --> 00:26:06,112
- For the first time, we'd be legitimate.
- Let's not get sickening.
483
00:26:06,185 --> 00:26:10,315
Say, Mister Lama, do you suppose we could
buy a couple of sticks of this stuff?
484
00:26:10,389 --> 00:26:12,085
We want to do this memory act and we...
485
00:26:12,159 --> 00:26:16,220
I'm sorry, my sons, but neither our herbs,
nor those who use them...
486
00:26:16,296 --> 00:26:18,764
are ever allowed to leave the lamasery.
487
00:26:19,132 --> 00:26:21,464
You mean, we have to spend
our lives in this place?
488
00:26:21,535 --> 00:26:22,560
I'm afraid so.
489
00:26:22,637 --> 00:26:24,730
We don't want you to think
we're ungrateful...
490
00:26:24,806 --> 00:26:29,038
but there's nothing that could keep us
in a place like this forever.
491
00:26:29,110 --> 00:26:32,274
Unless it was a couple of
fabulous-looking girls!
492
00:26:34,917 --> 00:26:36,248
Hi, girls.
493
00:26:36,986 --> 00:26:38,977
I'd hate to see the boys.
494
00:26:42,859 --> 00:26:44,417
Come on, watch it.
495
00:26:44,494 --> 00:26:47,224
- Watch the threads.
- Please, I just had this pressed.
496
00:26:48,331 --> 00:26:51,767
Say, you guys like American pictures?
497
00:26:51,835 --> 00:26:56,239
You seen any old road pictures like
Singapore, Zanzibar, Morocco?
498
00:26:56,307 --> 00:26:59,504
You haven't? Well, watch this.
499
00:26:59,577 --> 00:27:02,741
Pat-a-cake, pat-a-cake, baker's man...
500
00:27:02,814 --> 00:27:05,783
bake a cake as fast as you...
501
00:27:06,618 --> 00:27:08,415
Say, it still works.
502
00:27:08,487 --> 00:27:11,320
- Get the bottle.
- You get the clothes.
503
00:27:14,527 --> 00:27:17,121
Remember. No violence.
504
00:27:17,530 --> 00:27:20,294
Follow them, watch, wait.
505
00:27:20,366 --> 00:27:23,495
And when the occasion permits,
regain the bottle.
506
00:27:23,570 --> 00:27:25,663
It shall be done, Master.
507
00:27:49,065 --> 00:27:51,556
There you are. Buy yourself a blue blade.
508
00:27:51,634 --> 00:27:53,227
Gentlemen, is there anything else?
509
00:27:53,303 --> 00:27:57,000
No, we're fine. Go work on your rope trick.
We might use you on the road.
510
00:27:57,074 --> 00:27:58,837
Yeah, heat up your snake.
511
00:27:58,909 --> 00:28:01,571
There you are, my little
orange-pekoe annuity.
512
00:28:01,645 --> 00:28:05,104
Chester, come down here.
I want you to unfurl the long-and-furry.
513
00:28:05,550 --> 00:28:07,643
You're not well, are you?
514
00:28:07,719 --> 00:28:10,847
We must press on. We gotta test
this stuff to make sure it works.
515
00:28:10,922 --> 00:28:13,255
- What will you test it on?
- We'll find something.
516
00:28:13,325 --> 00:28:15,850
You got a racing form, a summons,
anything on you?
517
00:28:15,928 --> 00:28:17,555
- Here's something.
- What have you got?
518
00:28:17,629 --> 00:28:19,654
I don't know, it's got
numbers and diagrams.
519
00:28:19,732 --> 00:28:20,926
Let me see.
520
00:28:21,333 --> 00:28:23,359
- Where'd you get it?
- Who knows?
521
00:28:23,436 --> 00:28:25,404
Maybe it was that dame at the airport.
522
00:28:25,472 --> 00:28:27,838
The one who wanted a
picture of me in a bikini.
523
00:28:27,907 --> 00:28:30,102
Dreamer. No matter.
524
00:28:30,176 --> 00:28:33,078
If you can memorize this, Chester,
you can memorize anything.
525
00:28:33,147 --> 00:28:34,307
Sit down.
526
00:28:34,382 --> 00:28:38,648
Now then, Chester, flip that fang out
for me, will you, one more time?
527
00:28:40,688 --> 00:28:42,588
I wished I had a book of stamps.
528
00:28:42,656 --> 00:28:44,750
You're a little nervous. This won't hurt.
529
00:28:44,826 --> 00:28:47,226
Lay it right there. There we are.
530
00:28:48,063 --> 00:28:49,928
Did it do anything for you?
531
00:28:54,704 --> 00:28:57,468
- You got it? Ready?
- Got it.
532
00:29:04,948 --> 00:29:06,210
Okay.
533
00:29:06,283 --> 00:29:07,477
Page one, line six.
534
00:29:07,551 --> 00:29:10,850
"The ratio of the fuel concentration
to the initial escape velocity..."
535
00:29:10,921 --> 00:29:13,652
"equals the quadrant X
minus AB to the sixteenth power."
536
00:29:13,725 --> 00:29:17,354
Wonderful, Chester. All
right, page two, line 17.
537
00:29:17,429 --> 00:29:20,455
"Atmospheric density compressed
to the square root of 'Y' plus 5..."
538
00:29:20,532 --> 00:29:22,659
"to the power of 11
and a dirty thumb."
539
00:29:23,969 --> 00:29:26,563
What coverage!
540
00:29:27,673 --> 00:29:30,164
- My key, please.
- Certainly, madam.
541
00:29:33,345 --> 00:29:36,611
"Centimeters of cubic displacement
per gram of octane distillate."
542
00:29:36,683 --> 00:29:41,120
Finito! Perfecto, Chester! Come on.
Let's get a little bit of fresh air.
543
00:29:41,188 --> 00:29:44,124
Coming out of it? You all right?
Come on, school's out.
544
00:29:46,761 --> 00:29:49,594
- Did I get it all?
- Every word, every gold-plated word.
545
00:29:49,664 --> 00:29:51,825
We're gonna be loaded, Ches boy.
546
00:29:51,899 --> 00:29:54,960
- Don't start with that "Ches boy."
- We've got a fortune here.
547
00:29:55,037 --> 00:29:58,632
- In my head?
- The last place anybody would look for it.
548
00:29:58,707 --> 00:29:59,969
You got a mind like a sponge.
549
00:30:00,042 --> 00:30:02,203
Don't get any ideas about
squeezing it, either.
550
00:30:02,277 --> 00:30:05,873
Chester, you're a walking lBM Machine,
a slope-nosed Univac.
551
00:30:05,949 --> 00:30:09,009
From now on, anytime anybody
wants any secret information...
552
00:30:09,085 --> 00:30:12,111
taken from one place to another,
they got to lay it up there.
553
00:30:12,188 --> 00:30:13,678
- Right up there?
- That's the place.
554
00:30:13,756 --> 00:30:15,224
- I carry it around for them?
- Yeah.
555
00:30:15,292 --> 00:30:18,693
If they want any information,
they make a little hole and it leaks out?
556
00:30:19,196 --> 00:30:22,893
So, you're talking about spy rings
and secret agents and things like that.
557
00:30:22,967 --> 00:30:24,458
They got knives, they got guns.
558
00:30:24,536 --> 00:30:27,596
They shoot you with tiny bullets
that put big holes in you.
559
00:30:27,672 --> 00:30:29,071
I know, I watch television!
560
00:30:29,141 --> 00:30:31,371
- I'm going to be there with you.
- For the funeral.
561
00:30:31,443 --> 00:30:32,910
Who do you think they'll shoot...
562
00:30:32,978 --> 00:30:35,607
you or the schnook with
the lBM machine up his Univac.
563
00:30:35,681 --> 00:30:37,876
I'm sorry, get yourself a new schnook.
564
00:30:37,950 --> 00:30:42,444
Look, why don't you get us a nice agent
and book us a nice, legitimate memory act?
565
00:30:42,522 --> 00:30:44,252
Anything wrong...
566
00:30:49,563 --> 00:30:50,962
Hello there.
567
00:30:57,305 --> 00:31:00,399
- Do you remember me?
- I certainly hope so.
568
00:31:00,475 --> 00:31:01,874
The airport.
569
00:31:02,143 --> 00:31:03,633
The airport. Yeah.
570
00:31:03,711 --> 00:31:06,647
You're the girl with the hotel room.
Sorry I couldn't make it.
571
00:31:06,715 --> 00:31:08,148
I hope there's still a vacancy.
572
00:31:08,217 --> 00:31:11,311
We can go to the hotel and
pull the shades and...
573
00:31:11,654 --> 00:31:15,284
Now don't be a sore loser. I'll go.
574
00:31:15,592 --> 00:31:17,992
It's wonderful to be wanted.
575
00:31:18,929 --> 00:31:22,092
- I already have a scar there.
- The papers, please.
576
00:31:22,165 --> 00:31:25,135
- The papers?
- The ones I put in your pocket.
577
00:31:25,203 --> 00:31:27,569
- With the numbers and the diagrams?
- If you please.
578
00:31:27,638 --> 00:31:29,799
We just had a little barbecue here.
579
00:31:30,141 --> 00:31:31,199
No!
580
00:31:32,210 --> 00:31:33,768
You idiots.
581
00:31:36,281 --> 00:31:40,308
Would I be correct in assuming that
this information might have been valuable?
582
00:31:40,385 --> 00:31:41,750
Invaluable.
583
00:31:43,021 --> 00:31:45,456
Maybe something that
somebody would pay a lot for...
584
00:31:45,525 --> 00:31:48,790
if somebody could get somebody
to bring it back?
585
00:31:49,162 --> 00:31:52,131
- Don't talk nonsense!
- That's right, don't talk nonsense!
586
00:31:52,198 --> 00:31:54,667
- Yes, but would they?
- Don't talk nonsense.
587
00:31:54,735 --> 00:31:57,932
Are you suggesting that
you have a way of replacing these papers?
588
00:31:58,005 --> 00:32:01,566
Certainly not. And I'll thank you
to put that gun down now and leave.
589
00:32:01,642 --> 00:32:03,371
I don't know who you're mixed up with.
590
00:32:03,444 --> 00:32:05,936
I'll bet they're the kind
to carry guns and knives...
591
00:32:06,014 --> 00:32:08,676
and put holes in people,
and my friend here and l...
592
00:32:08,750 --> 00:32:11,310
will have nothing to do with it.
Leave now.
593
00:32:11,386 --> 00:32:13,320
Do not bother us again.
594
00:32:13,388 --> 00:32:15,880
See you at the bar in five minutes.
595
00:32:17,226 --> 00:32:19,194
Now do you see what I mean?
596
00:32:19,262 --> 00:32:22,595
You're so right, Chester.
And a dame with a gun, yet!
597
00:32:22,665 --> 00:32:23,689
And loaded.
598
00:32:23,766 --> 00:32:25,200
She certainly was!
599
00:32:25,269 --> 00:32:27,203
I told you how dangerous this stuff can be.
600
00:32:27,271 --> 00:32:28,271
You're right as rain.
601
00:32:28,338 --> 00:32:31,136
I'm going downstairs now
and phone New York long distance.
602
00:32:31,208 --> 00:32:32,937
I'm going to get a booking for our act.
603
00:32:33,010 --> 00:32:34,739
That's a great... Wait a minute.
604
00:32:34,811 --> 00:32:36,302
Why don't you use this phone here?
605
00:32:36,381 --> 00:32:39,544
You know you can't make
a long-distance call from a local phone.
606
00:32:39,617 --> 00:32:41,141
Yeah, that's right.
607
00:32:41,219 --> 00:32:43,483
Dames with guns.
608
00:32:46,759 --> 00:32:49,057
And he can deliver it
tomorrow in Hong Kong?
609
00:32:49,728 --> 00:32:51,753
If the price is right, yeah.
610
00:32:52,698 --> 00:32:55,259
Shall we say $10,000?
611
00:32:55,535 --> 00:32:57,002
$10,000?
612
00:32:57,304 --> 00:32:59,465
All right, $20,000.
613
00:33:00,006 --> 00:33:01,564
I'm not one to haggle, but...
614
00:33:01,641 --> 00:33:04,701
Very well, then. $25,000.
615
00:33:05,379 --> 00:33:08,280
That was $25,000?
616
00:33:08,349 --> 00:33:09,680
Naturally!
617
00:33:10,484 --> 00:33:12,714
Are you sure you're not pulling my leg?
618
00:33:12,787 --> 00:33:16,019
Business first, fun and games later.
619
00:33:16,124 --> 00:33:18,718
See you upstairs in about 10 minutes.
Right?
620
00:33:18,794 --> 00:33:19,954
Right.
621
00:33:26,836 --> 00:33:28,633
Are you kidding me about that booking?
622
00:33:28,705 --> 00:33:30,639
Would I kid you at a time like this?
623
00:33:30,707 --> 00:33:33,267
- This calls for a celebration.
- Right!
624
00:33:33,343 --> 00:33:34,469
How much are we gonna get?
625
00:33:34,544 --> 00:33:36,604
We are gonna get...
626
00:33:36,680 --> 00:33:38,671
- We are going to get...
- $25...
627
00:33:38,749 --> 00:33:40,216
- $25...
- $25...
628
00:33:40,284 --> 00:33:42,582
- $25?
- $2,500.
629
00:33:42,653 --> 00:33:45,087
- $2,500.
- Split right down the middle.
630
00:33:45,155 --> 00:33:47,784
Split right down the middle.
No more of that 80-20 stuff?
631
00:33:47,859 --> 00:33:51,454
No. Share and share alike. Blood brothers.
632
00:33:51,529 --> 00:33:52,587
I'd rather have the money.
633
00:33:52,664 --> 00:33:55,600
It's only fair to tell you
that we are going to have to do...
634
00:33:55,668 --> 00:33:57,966
a little audition for
the Chinese theatre man.
635
00:33:58,037 --> 00:33:59,504
For that money, he's entitled!
636
00:33:59,572 --> 00:34:01,540
You're being big, but
are you ready for this?
637
00:34:01,607 --> 00:34:03,541
- What?
- Wait'll you hear where we'll play.
638
00:34:03,609 --> 00:34:04,974
Do it to me lightly.
639
00:34:05,044 --> 00:34:07,536
Loews Hong Kong.
640
00:34:09,282 --> 00:34:10,909
- Hong Kong!
- Yes, sir.
641
00:34:10,984 --> 00:34:14,943
Dreamy old Hong Kong. Pearl of the Orient.
642
00:34:15,021 --> 00:34:16,421
Bill Holden's sandbox.
643
00:34:16,491 --> 00:34:18,356
Yeah, the almond-eyed Paris.
644
00:34:18,426 --> 00:34:20,758
With the noodles, soy sauce,
and ricky rickshaws.
645
00:34:20,828 --> 00:34:24,457
- The geisha girls give green stamps.
- And the slit skirts have no zippers.
646
00:34:24,532 --> 00:34:26,524
And the dawn comes up like thunder.
647
00:34:26,602 --> 00:34:29,036
- Hong Kong!
- We're on our way.
648
00:34:29,772 --> 00:34:34,334
"Can't you see us in a rickshaw
649
00:34:34,410 --> 00:34:37,346
"Dropping in on Suzie Wong?
650
00:34:37,781 --> 00:34:41,217
"Can't you see the split kimono
651
00:34:41,284 --> 00:34:44,048
"On the road to Hong Kong?
652
00:34:44,120 --> 00:34:45,644
"Sip a little oolong tea
653
00:34:46,290 --> 00:34:49,453
"They'll adore us in our pigtails
654
00:34:49,527 --> 00:34:52,894
"Sitting down to play mah-jongg
655
00:34:52,963 --> 00:34:55,956
"You and me, on a spree
656
00:34:56,034 --> 00:34:58,969
"We'll be right there where we belong
657
00:34:59,037 --> 00:35:00,470
"On the road to Hong Kong
658
00:35:00,539 --> 00:35:02,734
"Sip a little oolong tea
659
00:35:03,108 --> 00:35:05,975
- "Kowloon -" Kowloon
660
00:35:06,512 --> 00:35:09,345
"We can't get there too soon"
661
00:35:09,415 --> 00:35:11,246
"Cause a gal who's cute"
662
00:35:11,317 --> 00:35:15,617
"Has the cutest lute that
I'm just dying to tune"
663
00:35:15,688 --> 00:35:18,453
"Sip a little oolong tea"
664
00:35:18,959 --> 00:35:21,553
Your father's out there.
How did you get here?
665
00:35:21,628 --> 00:35:23,255
Special Effects.
666
00:35:24,231 --> 00:35:27,690
"There's a crazy Chinese incense"
667
00:35:27,769 --> 00:35:30,932
"That could make a weak man strong"
668
00:35:31,005 --> 00:35:34,736
"Just a whiff is terrif"
669
00:35:40,983 --> 00:35:43,918
"Sip a little oolong tea
670
00:35:43,986 --> 00:35:47,320
- "it's grand -" Oh, it's great
671
00:35:47,390 --> 00:35:52,384
"But try to contemplate
with each Chinese meal"
672
00:35:52,629 --> 00:35:54,563
"There's a Chinese deal"
673
00:35:54,631 --> 00:35:57,226
"Tells your future and fate"
674
00:35:59,303 --> 00:36:01,328
"You are under grave suspicion"
675
00:36:01,405 --> 00:36:04,203
"Your partner suspects you of dishonesty"
676
00:36:04,475 --> 00:36:06,204
Here, it's for you.
677
00:36:07,145 --> 00:36:11,639
"No more Turner, no more Babcock"
678
00:36:11,717 --> 00:36:15,050
"Harry Chan and Chester Fong"
679
00:36:15,120 --> 00:36:18,113
"Let that Chinese gong"
680
00:36:19,926 --> 00:36:22,656
"Go ding ding dong"
681
00:36:23,630 --> 00:36:27,397
"We'll be on the happy road to Hong Kong"
682
00:36:27,501 --> 00:36:30,937
"Smoke a little hookah, nicotine bazooka"
683
00:36:31,005 --> 00:36:34,031
"Smoke a little hookah pipe"
684
00:36:53,162 --> 00:36:54,629
Come in.
685
00:36:59,603 --> 00:37:03,266
Chester, I want you to tell me everything
that was on those secret papers.
686
00:37:03,340 --> 00:37:07,072
Start at the beginning. Page one, line one.
687
00:37:07,312 --> 00:37:10,213
"Top Secret.
Solid propellant rocket-fuel formula."
688
00:37:10,281 --> 00:37:12,511
"The basic element necessary
in maximum thrust..."
689
00:37:12,584 --> 00:37:15,951
"is equal to 679.03
degrees of escape velocity."
690
00:37:16,821 --> 00:37:18,551
Page five, line three.
691
00:37:18,624 --> 00:37:21,559
"The quadrant XY over 2 AB
as applied to the equation 'L'..."
692
00:37:24,563 --> 00:37:27,260
There she lies, Chester! Hong Kong!
693
00:37:27,334 --> 00:37:29,393
What a monument to fried rice!
694
00:37:29,469 --> 00:37:32,438
Look at those bamboo
television antennas, will you?
695
00:37:32,505 --> 00:37:34,996
- You got the stuff?
- Yes, got it right here.
696
00:37:35,075 --> 00:37:37,806
I'll take it. I'm still
the treasurer, you know.
697
00:37:37,878 --> 00:37:41,541
With that 80-20 mind of yours, I want
to keep an overlapping grip on my 20.
698
00:37:41,616 --> 00:37:44,141
Chester, when are you
going to learn to trust me?
699
00:37:44,218 --> 00:37:46,743
When I can afford a full-time thief.
700
00:38:06,175 --> 00:38:08,644
Hey, wait a minute!
What are you doing with my bottle?
701
00:38:08,712 --> 00:38:11,203
- Beg pardon, sir, is my bottle.
- That's my bottle!
702
00:38:11,281 --> 00:38:13,374
No, sir. Is very common oriental bottle.
703
00:38:13,450 --> 00:38:16,146
Maybe if you are looking in your pocket?
704
00:38:19,157 --> 00:38:20,181
I'm sorry.
705
00:38:20,258 --> 00:38:23,318
It's quite all right, sir.
Not to worry, sir, not to worry.
706
00:38:23,395 --> 00:38:25,386
We belong to the same bottle club!
707
00:38:25,463 --> 00:38:27,864
Not to worry. Come on, we've got to hurry.
708
00:38:29,568 --> 00:38:31,729
Their route seemed ordinary enough.
709
00:38:31,804 --> 00:38:33,362
Through Kowloon...
710
00:38:33,439 --> 00:38:36,135
on the Star Ferry across
the bay to Victoria...
711
00:38:36,208 --> 00:38:38,677
and then climbing high on the island...
712
00:38:38,745 --> 00:38:41,213
until they reached a secluded estate...
713
00:38:41,281 --> 00:38:45,183
carefully chosen to conceal
the headquarters of our leader.
714
00:38:45,552 --> 00:38:46,746
I don't dig it.
715
00:38:46,820 --> 00:38:48,948
You sure this is where
the guy's gotta see us?
716
00:38:49,023 --> 00:38:51,321
He's a Chinese millionaire.
A little eccentric.
717
00:38:51,392 --> 00:38:53,724
He made this out of vaudeville
and used chopsticks?
718
00:38:53,795 --> 00:38:54,819
He's a big fella.
719
00:38:54,896 --> 00:38:57,866
You can't get a noodle in this town
without going through him.
720
00:38:57,933 --> 00:38:59,264
- No kidding?
- Right.
721
00:38:59,334 --> 00:39:00,426
Sure you got the stuff?
722
00:39:00,502 --> 00:39:03,835
Buster, I've got our passport
to prosperity right here.
723
00:39:03,906 --> 00:39:04,964
And right there.
724
00:39:05,040 --> 00:39:08,533
Bet you never thought you'd have a fortune
riding in the old melon.
725
00:39:08,611 --> 00:39:11,171
Just goes to show you.
Never throw anything away.
726
00:39:11,247 --> 00:39:12,373
Yeah.
727
00:39:14,017 --> 00:39:15,507
Ring the bell.
728
00:39:18,756 --> 00:39:21,088
What did you do, wire ahead?
729
00:39:29,668 --> 00:39:31,568
Silent butler, I guess.
730
00:39:32,938 --> 00:39:34,701
Fancy little layout.
731
00:39:34,773 --> 00:39:36,968
Looks like it's done in early Egg Foo Yung.
732
00:39:37,042 --> 00:39:39,534
It's a funny place for an audition.
733
00:39:41,180 --> 00:39:43,375
Marvelous place for an audition!
734
00:39:43,850 --> 00:39:47,786
Gentlemen, you are expected.
Please, walk this way.
735
00:39:49,423 --> 00:39:50,981
Walk that way?
736
00:39:51,625 --> 00:39:53,957
I could never pass the physical.
737
00:39:57,197 --> 00:39:59,758
Gentlemen, be seated.
738
00:40:01,736 --> 00:40:04,330
What is this, a Chinese minstrel show?
739
00:40:15,484 --> 00:40:17,918
We're dropping. What's going on here?
740
00:40:17,987 --> 00:40:20,218
Relax.
He probably has a theater in the basement.
741
00:40:20,290 --> 00:40:23,054
What's he showing,
Journey to the Center of the Earth?
742
00:40:36,073 --> 00:40:38,371
We're underwater! That's the ocean!
743
00:40:38,442 --> 00:40:39,442
So?
744
00:40:39,511 --> 00:40:42,002
So? So we spring a little
leak, we'll drown.
745
00:40:42,080 --> 00:40:44,810
You don't have to worry.
You've got a built-in snorkel.
746
00:40:45,450 --> 00:40:48,180
Yeah, but I never use it
outside of my bathtub.
747
00:40:49,222 --> 00:40:52,749
Dig this! Looks like he
just ate Lloyd Bridges.
748
00:40:53,393 --> 00:40:55,156
Don't worry, they don't eat people.
749
00:40:55,228 --> 00:40:57,458
- How about actors?
- We're safe.
750
00:41:12,180 --> 00:41:14,410
Gentlemen, we bid you welcome.
751
00:41:16,651 --> 00:41:18,118
You may rise.
752
00:41:26,596 --> 00:41:28,325
Just like the freeway.
753
00:41:30,100 --> 00:41:33,263
I trust your journey down here
wasn't too uncomfortable?
754
00:41:33,337 --> 00:41:34,861
No, sir, and no disrespect, sir.
755
00:41:34,938 --> 00:41:38,669
I don't want to run your business
but this is a peculiar place for a theater.
756
00:41:38,742 --> 00:41:41,041
Where are the people gonna park?
Another thing...
757
00:41:41,112 --> 00:41:43,171
Gentlemen, our leader is a very busy man.
758
00:41:43,248 --> 00:41:45,148
Would you please proceed with the formula?
759
00:41:45,216 --> 00:41:46,843
Certainly, the sooner the...
760
00:41:47,051 --> 00:41:48,348
Formula?
761
00:41:48,686 --> 00:41:50,587
- Hey, what's she doing here?
- Who?
762
00:41:50,656 --> 00:41:53,454
Who? Her. Quickdraw McGraw,
the fastest gun in the east!
763
00:41:53,525 --> 00:41:56,585
With her secret papers
and her formulas and...
764
00:41:57,529 --> 00:42:00,124
You went and did it again, didn't you?
765
00:42:00,200 --> 00:42:04,432
You put that stuff on my mind!
You got us mixed up with spies and crooks.
766
00:42:04,504 --> 00:42:05,937
Mr. Babcock.
767
00:42:06,806 --> 00:42:09,833
Will you please stop all
this babbling nonsense?
768
00:42:10,044 --> 00:42:13,480
A deal has been made for which
you've been very handsomely paid.
769
00:42:13,547 --> 00:42:15,276
I know, $2,500.
770
00:42:15,349 --> 00:42:17,214
$25,000.
771
00:42:17,285 --> 00:42:19,276
That's what I said. $25,000.
772
00:42:19,521 --> 00:42:21,887
That's the deal you made with him? $25,000?
773
00:42:21,957 --> 00:42:23,015
Yes.
774
00:42:23,091 --> 00:42:25,116
You'd make a wonderful black widow spider!
775
00:42:25,193 --> 00:42:27,821
- Now, Chester...
- I am beginning to lose patience.
776
00:42:27,896 --> 00:42:31,333
- Gentlemen, we have to proceed.
- Proceed with him. He made the deal.
777
00:42:31,401 --> 00:42:32,459
Mr. Babcock...
778
00:42:32,535 --> 00:42:36,164
have you any idea of the value
of the formula you carry in your mind?
779
00:42:36,239 --> 00:42:39,436
It may well prove the
salvation of the world.
780
00:42:39,610 --> 00:42:41,009
Salvation of the world?
781
00:42:41,078 --> 00:42:43,012
Yours is no ordinary mind.
782
00:42:43,080 --> 00:42:46,948
In your incredible brain
lies the combined mathematical genius...
783
00:42:47,017 --> 00:42:50,681
of Descartes, Newton,
Da Vinci, Einstein!
784
00:42:51,289 --> 00:42:52,620
All those kids?
785
00:42:52,757 --> 00:42:55,157
- Tell me more.
- Better than that, I'll show you.
786
00:42:55,226 --> 00:42:56,318
Come.
787
00:42:56,695 --> 00:42:58,788
You heard what the man said. Come.
788
00:42:58,863 --> 00:43:00,456
Got to see this.
789
00:43:08,574 --> 00:43:11,738
Hey, look! A school for
television repairmen!
790
00:43:12,145 --> 00:43:15,171
I've seen hi-fi, but this is ridiculous!
791
00:43:15,248 --> 00:43:18,547
Now, if you'll take up your position
by the window.
792
00:43:20,254 --> 00:43:23,690
Gentlemen, you are witnessing
the Third Echelon in operation.
793
00:43:25,860 --> 00:43:27,953
Is that Roman candle for real?
794
00:43:28,262 --> 00:43:31,426
In that rocket, we are about to send
two animals around the moon...
795
00:43:31,500 --> 00:43:34,901
and if we succeed, we
shall next send two men.
796
00:43:35,437 --> 00:43:36,836
And from the moon...
797
00:43:36,905 --> 00:43:39,339
from that point of impenetrable power...
798
00:43:39,408 --> 00:43:41,604
I shall go before the United Nations...
799
00:43:41,678 --> 00:43:46,479
and demand that they accede
to our total and absolute control.
800
00:43:46,583 --> 00:43:48,710
I think he rolls his own.
801
00:43:49,619 --> 00:43:52,851
Please, be serious. Now,
we've made a bargain.
802
00:43:52,923 --> 00:43:57,053
Without the fuel formula in Babcock's mind,
we can't be certain of success.
803
00:43:57,128 --> 00:43:59,289
Now please, cooperate.
804
00:43:59,363 --> 00:44:01,889
And without any further delay.
805
00:44:06,838 --> 00:44:10,798
Say, Mr. Ech, I don't want
to sound silly or anything...
806
00:44:10,877 --> 00:44:14,711
and I know it's ridiculous, but
supposing the memory crackers don't work.
807
00:44:14,781 --> 00:44:16,442
What happens then?
808
00:44:16,516 --> 00:44:18,609
I'd rather not discuss that.
809
00:44:19,085 --> 00:44:21,281
That makes two of us.
Well, I'll be seeing you.
810
00:44:21,355 --> 00:44:24,153
Don't be a fool. Where you going?
There's $25,000 in this.
811
00:44:24,224 --> 00:44:26,283
If you leave, you run
out on your fellow man.
812
00:44:26,360 --> 00:44:27,691
That leaves my fellow women!
813
00:44:27,761 --> 00:44:29,991
Don't tell me you're going
to chicken out now!
814
00:44:30,064 --> 00:44:31,555
If necessary, I'll grow feathers!
815
00:44:31,633 --> 00:44:33,658
You might think of your country!
816
00:44:33,735 --> 00:44:35,327
Search your secret soul.
817
00:44:35,403 --> 00:44:37,871
- Ask your patriotic conscience what to do.
- I did.
818
00:44:37,939 --> 00:44:40,134
- What did it say?
- "Yankee, go home."
819
00:44:40,208 --> 00:44:42,507
You two can stay if you
want, but I'm going back.
820
00:44:42,578 --> 00:44:45,342
I'm going back to Hong Kong.
I'm going back to New York...
821
00:44:46,549 --> 00:44:47,948
Where are you going?
822
00:44:48,017 --> 00:44:50,144
Back and tell him the formula.
823
00:44:51,922 --> 00:44:54,447
- Still nothing?
- Don't feel a thing.
824
00:44:54,724 --> 00:44:56,589
It worked beautifully yesterday.
825
00:44:56,660 --> 00:44:59,652
Come on, roll out the gangplank
one more time now, will you?
826
00:45:01,232 --> 00:45:02,597
Relax.
827
00:45:02,667 --> 00:45:05,659
Don't get panicky, apprehensive,
nervous, anxious or frightened.
828
00:45:05,736 --> 00:45:08,671
I'm not panicky, apprehensive,
nervous, anxious or frightened.
829
00:45:08,739 --> 00:45:09,739
Good.
830
00:45:09,807 --> 00:45:11,298
I'm petrified.
831
00:45:15,147 --> 00:45:17,445
Tea, sir. Ordinary lndian tea.
832
00:45:17,516 --> 00:45:20,144
Yeah, but very refreshing in a hot climate.
833
00:45:20,252 --> 00:45:21,515
It can't be tea.
834
00:45:21,588 --> 00:45:23,749
I got it. The guy in the
turban on the plane.
835
00:45:23,823 --> 00:45:25,484
He must have switched the stuff!
836
00:45:25,558 --> 00:45:27,025
We'll get it. Won't take a minute.
837
00:45:27,093 --> 00:45:29,027
We'll be back. Promise you won't go away.
838
00:45:29,095 --> 00:45:31,496
- Can we bring you anything?
- Corn-beef? Rice sundae?
839
00:45:31,565 --> 00:45:32,827
A chow mein pizza?
840
00:45:32,900 --> 00:45:34,180
- Be right back!
- Be right back!
841
00:45:34,235 --> 00:45:35,964
Be right back, yes, sir!
842
00:45:37,004 --> 00:45:38,096
Sir!
843
00:45:38,172 --> 00:45:42,166
We've received word, the Russians will
attempt a landing on the moon in 48 hours.
844
00:45:42,244 --> 00:45:44,178
- Is the rocket operative?
- All's ready, sir.
845
00:45:44,246 --> 00:45:47,238
Alert all personnel!
Start launching preparations!
846
00:45:47,315 --> 00:45:48,577
Yes, sir.
847
00:45:49,084 --> 00:45:51,178
Sir, what about them?
848
00:45:51,454 --> 00:45:52,546
Them?
849
00:45:52,755 --> 00:45:54,017
Oh, them.
850
00:45:54,357 --> 00:45:57,224
Yes, I'm afraid we must dispose of them.
851
00:45:57,293 --> 00:45:59,090
How are we gonna get out of this?
852
00:45:59,162 --> 00:46:02,064
You tackle the guys and
I'll subdue the girl.
853
00:46:03,000 --> 00:46:05,901
Sir, there may be an alternative.
854
00:46:06,670 --> 00:46:09,400
If these two men were
to take the place of the two apes...
855
00:46:09,473 --> 00:46:11,999
we'd be that much ahead
in our calculations.
856
00:46:12,076 --> 00:46:13,475
Replace the apes?
857
00:46:13,545 --> 00:46:17,504
That way, our tests would be
on human beings instead of animals.
858
00:46:21,152 --> 00:46:23,747
Gentlemen, you are about to be given...
859
00:46:23,822 --> 00:46:26,120
the greatest opportunity
for immortality...
860
00:46:26,192 --> 00:46:28,251
ever afforded to men on Earth.
861
00:46:28,427 --> 00:46:32,057
In a few moments, that rocket is
going to be sent round the moon.
862
00:46:32,465 --> 00:46:35,229
- And we're going to watch?
- From the inside.
863
00:46:35,302 --> 00:46:38,465
That's great. You know, I always wanted...
864
00:46:38,572 --> 00:46:41,234
- lnside?
- Inside the rocket?
865
00:46:41,341 --> 00:46:42,366
Precisely.
866
00:46:42,443 --> 00:46:44,411
We wouldn't want to take anybody's seat.
867
00:46:44,478 --> 00:46:45,706
You have the wrong kids.
868
00:46:45,780 --> 00:46:48,078
My nose bleeds when I put
my carpet slippers on.
869
00:46:48,149 --> 00:46:49,377
No way.
870
00:46:49,450 --> 00:46:52,420
Don't you see? At least
you can die like heroes.
871
00:46:52,487 --> 00:46:56,253
But we're too old to die.
If you only knew our real ages.
872
00:46:56,425 --> 00:46:58,017
Why, he's...
873
00:46:58,927 --> 00:47:00,895
Prepare them for flight.
874
00:47:01,163 --> 00:47:03,291
Prepare for flight?
875
00:47:05,568 --> 00:47:07,627
"Prepare for flight."
876
00:47:13,677 --> 00:47:15,144
They won't get away!
877
00:47:16,981 --> 00:47:18,505
Remember baby.
878
00:47:21,652 --> 00:47:24,486
Get those apes out of their spacesuits.
879
00:47:31,096 --> 00:47:33,497
- Dead end.
- This way.
880
00:47:43,744 --> 00:47:45,541
There must be some way out of this trap.
881
00:47:45,612 --> 00:47:47,546
Here, let's get into these things.
882
00:47:48,181 --> 00:47:50,240
Looks like Liberace's underwear.
883
00:47:50,317 --> 00:47:52,684
These are diving suits.
We'll walk to Hong Kong!
884
00:47:52,754 --> 00:47:55,951
No stopovers. I'm going straight
through to San Francisco.
885
00:47:57,558 --> 00:47:58,718
How are you doing there?
886
00:47:58,793 --> 00:48:01,261
Okay, but this guy must have had
pretty long arms.
887
00:48:01,329 --> 00:48:03,195
He could tie his shoes without bending.
888
00:48:03,265 --> 00:48:05,790
I think my guy must have had
his transmission lowered.
889
00:48:05,868 --> 00:48:08,962
Hey, you've got your own rumble seat.
Look at that!
890
00:48:09,038 --> 00:48:10,665
Who followed me then? Get your hat.
891
00:48:10,739 --> 00:48:13,538
- Did your girdle slip?
- Get your hat, let's get out of here.
892
00:48:13,610 --> 00:48:16,010
This guy wasn't exactly
a perfume salesman, either.
893
00:48:16,079 --> 00:48:18,912
My guy had a few friends.
Come on, let's go.
894
00:48:19,282 --> 00:48:22,309
- I can't straighten up.
- Regular cement jungle gym.
895
00:48:22,386 --> 00:48:24,684
Here, this way, over here.
896
00:48:25,890 --> 00:48:27,050
There's no door, no handle!
897
00:48:27,124 --> 00:48:29,524
- How do we get out of here?
- This way!
898
00:48:31,495 --> 00:48:33,896
Zorbb, is the rocket
prepared for launching?
899
00:48:33,965 --> 00:48:36,263
- We're at the ready, sir.
- Activate the countdown.
900
00:48:36,335 --> 00:48:38,963
Attention!
This is a final warning to all personnel.
901
00:48:39,037 --> 00:48:41,631
The rocket is operational.
Begin your countdown.
902
00:48:41,707 --> 00:48:43,903
Why do you suppose they're sending us up?
903
00:48:43,976 --> 00:48:47,241
They want to find out
if it's going to be safe for the apes.
904
00:48:49,449 --> 00:48:53,318
Two, one, zero!
905
00:49:14,343 --> 00:49:15,708
This is the critical moment.
906
00:49:15,778 --> 00:49:19,509
Their bodies are subject to the
tremendous pull of gravitational force.
907
00:49:23,887 --> 00:49:25,821
Help!
908
00:49:26,289 --> 00:49:28,416
Have you got a headache?
909
00:49:29,159 --> 00:49:32,287
I would have, but I
haven't got room for it.
910
00:49:34,432 --> 00:49:36,832
Help!
911
00:49:41,939 --> 00:49:43,532
What is their position now?
912
00:49:43,609 --> 00:49:46,476
Excellent. Altitude, 120 miles.
913
00:49:46,545 --> 00:49:49,173
They've escaped the Earth's
gravitational pull.
914
00:49:51,917 --> 00:49:55,786
What provision has been made to guarantee
the men's comfort and tranquility?
915
00:49:55,855 --> 00:49:57,823
We didn't have time to
change the equipment.
916
00:49:57,891 --> 00:50:00,553
They'll have to use
the same tranquilizing devices...
917
00:50:00,627 --> 00:50:02,424
that we planned for the apes.
918
00:50:02,896 --> 00:50:04,865
Put them into operation.
919
00:51:10,570 --> 00:51:11,901
What's gone wrong?
920
00:51:11,972 --> 00:51:15,033
They're passing through
an uncharted magnetic field.
921
00:51:15,109 --> 00:51:18,237
Their tranquilizing machines
may go out of sequence.
922
00:52:08,868 --> 00:52:10,096
Can you correct it?
923
00:52:10,169 --> 00:52:11,261
Negative.
924
00:52:11,337 --> 00:52:12,998
Then stop it.
925
00:52:19,146 --> 00:52:21,580
I'll never look at another banana split.
926
00:52:24,285 --> 00:52:25,752
Well, Zorbb?
927
00:52:25,920 --> 00:52:29,856
Their progress is very satisfactory.
Their altitude is 23,800 miles.
928
00:52:29,924 --> 00:52:32,484
Gentlemen, may I have
your attention, please?
929
00:52:32,560 --> 00:52:36,793
You are now in the upper stratosphere, on
course, and proceeding to your destination.
930
00:52:36,865 --> 00:52:40,961
You may feel free to walk about
and engage in any normal activity.
931
00:52:41,036 --> 00:52:43,163
Let's case this bullet.
932
00:52:45,842 --> 00:52:48,037
This thing must be running on the rim!
933
00:52:49,546 --> 00:52:51,446
Hey, look!
934
00:52:53,617 --> 00:52:55,176
What's that?
935
00:52:55,386 --> 00:52:56,978
Could be my stomach!
936
00:52:57,054 --> 00:52:58,612
Buck up.
937
00:52:58,689 --> 00:53:00,213
Don't press it.
938
00:53:06,331 --> 00:53:09,164
- The rocket's going off course!
- It's angled for the moon!
939
00:53:09,234 --> 00:53:10,292
Will they crash?
940
00:53:10,369 --> 00:53:13,634
- Do something, Zorbb.
- I'm trying.
941
00:53:17,110 --> 00:53:19,101
What's that big white thing coming at us?
942
00:53:19,178 --> 00:53:20,770
That's the moon.
943
00:53:20,847 --> 00:53:22,872
I wonder if this thing
has an emergency cord.
944
00:53:22,949 --> 00:53:23,973
Stop worrying.
945
00:53:24,050 --> 00:53:26,952
If we get to the moon first,
we'll clean up on real estate.
946
00:53:27,021 --> 00:53:30,047
You've got to change course.
The lunar glare is dangerous.
947
00:53:30,124 --> 00:53:32,251
It can affect them mentally.
948
00:53:40,068 --> 00:53:42,969
You'd better cover up.
That stuff's awful bright.
949
00:53:44,539 --> 00:53:49,341
"The square root of 17 times 'X' to the
22nd power over the quotient of 'Y'..."
950
00:53:49,412 --> 00:53:50,777
Get away from there.
951
00:53:50,846 --> 00:53:52,040
What?
952
00:53:52,114 --> 00:53:54,446
- What was that stuff you were saying?
- Stuff?
953
00:53:54,517 --> 00:53:55,610
We're getting closer.
954
00:53:55,686 --> 00:53:57,210
Mechanical gyrations.
955
00:53:57,287 --> 00:53:59,312
I think we're gonna crash!
956
00:54:11,903 --> 00:54:15,271
Well done, Zorbb.
Now then, bring them back to Earth.
957
00:54:18,177 --> 00:54:20,270
Show me their probable point of reentry.
958
00:54:20,345 --> 00:54:22,108
Are you sure you can keep track of them?
959
00:54:22,181 --> 00:54:23,546
Let's see.
960
00:54:23,749 --> 00:54:27,550
98 degrees solar longitude,
48 degrees spatial latitude.
961
00:54:27,620 --> 00:54:29,087
There we are!
962
00:54:29,189 --> 00:54:30,781
They're heading right for Hong Kong.
963
00:54:38,533 --> 00:54:40,194
Release the parachute!
964
00:54:46,442 --> 00:54:49,002
Submarine 'B, ' embark immediately.
965
00:54:59,022 --> 00:55:02,514
Well done. Indeed, both of you.
966
00:55:03,593 --> 00:55:06,825
Congratulations!
I'm so glad you found your way back to us!
967
00:55:07,065 --> 00:55:08,089
It's nothing.
968
00:55:08,166 --> 00:55:12,364
I hope you won't mind my own personal way
of welcoming our first astronauts.
969
00:55:13,471 --> 00:55:16,134
It sure beats being kissed by Khrushchev.
970
00:55:16,542 --> 00:55:18,203
And you, too, Chester...
971
00:55:18,410 --> 00:55:21,208
honored hero of the Third Echelon.
972
00:55:29,389 --> 00:55:31,448
"Top Secret. Rocket fuel formula."
973
00:55:31,524 --> 00:55:35,153
"The basic element necessary
in maximum thrust is equivalent to Mach 5."
974
00:55:35,228 --> 00:55:38,824
"Atmospheric density is equal
to 4-5 'X' times the square root of..."
975
00:55:38,899 --> 00:55:40,992
"679 degrees of escape velocity..."
976
00:55:41,068 --> 00:55:44,037
"of the times 28 escape velocity..."
977
00:55:45,039 --> 00:55:46,940
Take them to their quarters.
978
00:55:47,009 --> 00:55:48,101
Come!
979
00:55:51,646 --> 00:55:54,137
Zorbb, are you quite
sure you have a drug...
980
00:55:54,216 --> 00:55:56,879
that will release the formula
from this idiot's mind?
981
00:55:56,953 --> 00:55:58,079
Absolutely.
982
00:55:58,154 --> 00:55:59,451
Excellent.
983
00:55:59,522 --> 00:56:02,389
Diane, my dear, your
bringing these men here...
984
00:56:02,458 --> 00:56:05,427
has been a service of inestimable value.
985
00:56:05,495 --> 00:56:08,522
Not only will Babcock's
brain, such as it is...
986
00:56:08,599 --> 00:56:10,931
give us the precious fuel formula...
987
00:56:11,001 --> 00:56:13,629
their bodies will provide
vital information...
988
00:56:13,704 --> 00:56:16,401
to combat the hazards
of future space travel.
989
00:56:16,474 --> 00:56:17,498
Their bodies, sir?
990
00:56:17,575 --> 00:56:20,009
Certainly. Microscopic tests
of their vital organs.
991
00:56:20,078 --> 00:56:23,673
After you've gotten the formula,
then you're going to dissect them?
992
00:56:23,748 --> 00:56:25,910
Purely in the interests of science.
993
00:56:25,985 --> 00:56:27,919
That means that they must die.
994
00:56:27,987 --> 00:56:30,217
Only that millions may live.
995
00:56:30,623 --> 00:56:33,922
But, sir, it seems unnecessarily cruel.
996
00:56:34,093 --> 00:56:36,085
Science is often cruel, Diane.
997
00:56:36,163 --> 00:56:39,690
I don't like human sacrifice
any more than Dr. Zorbb.
998
00:56:39,933 --> 00:56:41,230
Do you, Zorbb?
999
00:56:41,301 --> 00:56:43,132
On the whole, I dislike it, sir.
1000
00:56:43,203 --> 00:56:44,295
You see?
1001
00:56:44,371 --> 00:56:47,136
But our duty to our fellow men
demands that we set aside...
1002
00:56:47,208 --> 00:56:49,574
all personal feeling and sentimentality.
1003
00:56:49,644 --> 00:56:51,669
Surely, you must see that.
1004
00:56:53,014 --> 00:56:55,608
Yes, sir. I suppose I do.
1005
00:56:55,683 --> 00:56:58,152
Very well. Now then, first things first.
1006
00:56:58,220 --> 00:56:59,881
How do we get the formula?
1007
00:57:00,622 --> 00:57:02,920
First, they must be completely
unaware of our plans.
1008
00:57:02,991 --> 00:57:04,015
Yes.
1009
00:57:04,093 --> 00:57:05,355
Before we can work on them...
1010
00:57:05,427 --> 00:57:08,397
they'll have to be in a state
of tranquility and relaxation.
1011
00:57:08,465 --> 00:57:09,465
I see.
1012
00:57:09,532 --> 00:57:11,830
Everything that can pacify, tranquilize...
1013
00:57:11,901 --> 00:57:15,928
bring joy to the hearts of two men
such as these must be provided.
1014
00:57:16,005 --> 00:57:17,405
So it will.
1015
00:57:26,050 --> 00:57:29,885
Ming Toy, dear girl.
A little higher, to the right, please.
1016
00:57:29,955 --> 00:57:31,616
Hit me, Poon Soon.
1017
00:57:38,364 --> 00:57:41,527
If I find out this is
fattening, I'll kill myself.
1018
00:57:43,836 --> 00:57:46,738
You'll have to get a softer brush.
You're bruising me.
1019
00:57:47,241 --> 00:57:48,731
Is this heaven?
1020
00:57:48,909 --> 00:57:51,343
Yeah. And I don't even remember dying.
1021
00:57:51,545 --> 00:57:55,072
You know, I feel like a contest winner.
But it's a little wearing.
1022
00:57:55,482 --> 00:57:59,351
Another two or three hours of this,
and I may have to get my lips re-treaded.
1023
00:58:02,023 --> 00:58:04,321
The master says they're ready upstairs.
1024
00:58:04,392 --> 00:58:07,226
If he thinks they're ready upstairs,
he should be down here.
1025
00:58:07,296 --> 00:58:08,661
Bring him!
1026
00:58:08,731 --> 00:58:10,028
Bring what?
1027
00:58:10,099 --> 00:58:13,535
What kind of a caper is this?
Now be careful.
1028
00:58:13,602 --> 00:58:16,594
Please! Don't drop any of the goodies!
1029
00:58:17,674 --> 00:58:19,198
Where are you going with the team?
1030
00:58:19,276 --> 00:58:22,712
I don't know, but if I'm not back
in two or three hours, don't send help.
1031
00:58:22,779 --> 00:58:24,576
I'll muddle through somehow.
1032
00:58:24,648 --> 00:58:26,172
It's rough.
1033
00:58:31,489 --> 00:58:32,888
Hello there.
1034
00:58:37,729 --> 00:58:41,165
- Are you quite comfortable?
- Sure.
1035
00:58:41,333 --> 00:58:42,595
You have everything you want?
1036
00:58:42,668 --> 00:58:45,398
A little soft music. That'd be clever.
1037
00:58:45,737 --> 00:58:46,761
Of course.
1038
00:58:46,838 --> 00:58:49,899
You know, about 30 or 40 violins throbbing.
1039
00:58:51,277 --> 00:58:52,835
That's very moody.
1040
00:58:53,546 --> 00:58:56,640
You think a little soft
lighting would be effective?
1041
00:58:57,384 --> 00:58:58,612
Hit it.
1042
00:59:01,021 --> 00:59:03,012
Yes, now we're building.
1043
00:59:03,190 --> 00:59:06,956
We want you to be as happy as you can
before you leave us.
1044
00:59:07,027 --> 00:59:08,825
When's that gonna be?
1045
00:59:08,997 --> 00:59:10,988
I'm afraid very soon.
1046
00:59:11,800 --> 00:59:14,792
Any chance you cutting out with me?
1047
00:59:15,737 --> 00:59:18,502
Sorry, that's just not possible.
1048
00:59:19,675 --> 00:59:24,044
I got a hunch that you and I
could make it pretty good.
1049
00:59:24,780 --> 00:59:26,145
Please.
1050
00:59:26,215 --> 00:59:28,946
- Please, stop saying those things.
- Why?
1051
00:59:29,353 --> 00:59:31,821
Because it just doesn't make sense.
1052
00:59:31,888 --> 00:59:34,220
I don't see why everything
has to make sense.
1053
00:59:34,658 --> 00:59:39,653
People like us have got to make sense
and be practical and logical.
1054
00:59:40,965 --> 00:59:45,698
"Let's not be sensible"
1055
00:59:45,770 --> 00:59:50,640
"Let's not be practical"
1056
00:59:50,709 --> 00:59:54,076
"Let's just start acting"
1057
00:59:54,146 --> 00:59:57,947
"Like people in love"
1058
00:59:59,986 --> 01:00:02,750
"Others may run"
1059
01:00:03,523 --> 01:00:06,492
"From romances"
1060
01:00:07,795 --> 01:00:10,355
"But I for one"
1061
01:00:10,431 --> 01:00:12,922
"Want to take the fun"
1062
01:00:13,134 --> 01:00:15,398
"And the chances"
1063
01:00:18,006 --> 01:00:22,534
"We could be so comfortable"
1064
01:00:22,611 --> 01:00:27,344
"if you'd be affable"
1065
01:00:27,416 --> 01:00:30,716
"One kiss could leave me"
1066
01:00:30,787 --> 01:00:34,553
"As limp as a glove"
1067
01:00:36,659 --> 01:00:41,654
"Anything else we'd think of"
1068
01:00:44,101 --> 01:00:49,096
"ls incomprehensible"
1069
01:00:49,874 --> 01:00:54,038
"Let's not be sensible"
1070
01:00:54,112 --> 01:00:58,550
"Let's just start falling in..."
1071
01:00:58,617 --> 01:01:03,020
"Let's please be sensible"
1072
01:01:03,089 --> 01:01:07,685
"Let's please be practical"
1073
01:01:07,760 --> 01:01:11,754
"Let's not start acting like"
1074
01:01:12,933 --> 01:01:15,401
"People in love"
1075
01:01:16,536 --> 01:01:20,029
"Anything else"
1076
01:01:20,108 --> 01:01:22,599
"We'd think of"
1077
01:01:24,746 --> 01:01:29,741
"ls incomprehensible"
1078
01:01:30,252 --> 01:01:34,382
"Let's not be sensible"
1079
01:01:34,456 --> 01:01:39,451
"Let's just start falling in..."
1080
01:01:40,764 --> 01:01:43,631
"Let's please"
1081
01:01:44,267 --> 01:01:46,360
"Be sensible"
1082
01:01:46,669 --> 01:01:49,571
"Let's please..."
1083
01:01:51,142 --> 01:01:52,302
Diane!
1084
01:01:52,943 --> 01:01:55,468
Report to the laboratory immediately.
1085
01:01:55,780 --> 01:01:56,940
Yes, sir.
1086
01:01:57,014 --> 01:01:58,379
- Hey!
- Not now.
1087
01:01:58,449 --> 01:01:59,474
- When?
- Later.
1088
01:01:59,551 --> 01:02:00,916
- Where?
- My apartment.
1089
01:02:00,986 --> 01:02:02,749
Okay, I'll be there.
1090
01:02:07,125 --> 01:02:08,787
I can't understand it.
1091
01:02:09,028 --> 01:02:11,519
We know he has the formula on his mind.
1092
01:02:11,597 --> 01:02:15,863
When Dr. Zorbb administered the drug,
he remembered nothing and fell to sleep.
1093
01:02:16,102 --> 01:02:19,834
Do you remember what you did
when he spoke those few lines of formula?
1094
01:02:20,474 --> 01:02:25,070
Yes, I just moved in to him, like this,
and kissed him on the cheek, like that.
1095
01:02:25,379 --> 01:02:26,607
The earrings!
1096
01:02:26,680 --> 01:02:27,772
Earrings?
1097
01:02:27,848 --> 01:02:32,047
Don't you see? Moon-shaped earrings.
He's suffering from moonomania.
1098
01:02:32,120 --> 01:02:33,485
Moonomania?
1099
01:02:33,655 --> 01:02:36,749
Yes, it's a conditioned reflex
that crystallizes his superego...
1100
01:02:36,825 --> 01:02:38,817
allowing the unconscious
to come through.
1101
01:02:38,894 --> 01:02:41,624
You mean he's susceptible
to any image of the moon?
1102
01:02:42,031 --> 01:02:45,330
Particularly when his attention
is sharply focused.
1103
01:02:45,501 --> 01:02:48,197
His mind is in a peculiar state of balance.
1104
01:02:48,270 --> 01:02:52,298
Any undue strain and he could easily
be pushed into a state of lunacy.
1105
01:02:52,375 --> 01:02:54,639
Then we'd lose the formula forever.
1106
01:02:54,711 --> 01:02:57,305
Well, how do we proceed?
1107
01:02:57,547 --> 01:02:59,038
Diane.
1108
01:03:00,451 --> 01:03:01,611
Diane.
1109
01:03:01,853 --> 01:03:04,686
- Sir?
- He'll be brought to your quarters.
1110
01:03:04,755 --> 01:03:07,622
I needn't tell you what
this means to the cause.
1111
01:03:07,692 --> 01:03:08,852
Quite.
1112
01:03:09,228 --> 01:03:12,129
I don't have to say any more, do I?
1113
01:03:14,099 --> 01:03:17,466
- You'll get the formula, sir.
- Good girl.
1114
01:03:41,963 --> 01:03:43,157
Chester.
1115
01:03:48,036 --> 01:03:49,368
Come in.
1116
01:03:52,008 --> 01:03:54,476
Where am I? How did I get here?
1117
01:03:54,544 --> 01:03:56,341
What am I doing here?
1118
01:03:57,713 --> 01:04:00,148
Why am I asking these silly questions?
1119
01:04:02,352 --> 01:04:06,345
- You're here because I requested you.
- Good thinking.
1120
01:04:07,124 --> 01:04:11,152
Don't you think it's about time
you and I really got to know each other?
1121
01:04:11,429 --> 01:04:12,919
We're overdue.
1122
01:04:14,098 --> 01:04:17,795
Do you have any idea
of the kind of woman I really am?
1123
01:04:17,869 --> 01:04:19,770
No, but I have high hopes.
1124
01:04:19,838 --> 01:04:21,362
I'll tell you what I'm like.
1125
01:04:21,640 --> 01:04:24,108
I know what I want when I see what I want.
1126
01:04:24,209 --> 01:04:26,677
And when I see what I want, I want it.
1127
01:04:26,979 --> 01:04:28,537
- Do you see it?
- I see it.
1128
01:04:28,614 --> 01:04:29,946
- You want it?
- I want it.
1129
01:04:30,016 --> 01:04:31,381
You got it.
1130
01:04:31,718 --> 01:04:34,619
You mind if I move a little closer?
1131
01:04:34,754 --> 01:04:36,483
Live a little.
1132
01:04:36,890 --> 01:04:40,190
Chester, you're such a dear, sweet man.
1133
01:04:40,261 --> 01:04:44,857
Brave, masculine, irresistible.
1134
01:04:44,932 --> 01:04:48,163
I don't know.
I'm just your ordinary, everyday astronaut.
1135
01:04:48,402 --> 01:04:50,064
Don't be modest.
1136
01:04:50,238 --> 01:04:54,902
You know, Chester,
you're the sort of man that I could love.
1137
01:04:54,977 --> 01:04:56,171
Could you?
1138
01:04:56,278 --> 01:04:58,303
Yes, I could, Chester.
1139
01:04:58,480 --> 01:05:01,575
I could love you, body and soul.
1140
01:05:02,018 --> 01:05:04,418
They're available, in that order.
1141
01:05:04,887 --> 01:05:08,379
Hold me, Chester. Hold me closer.
1142
01:05:11,095 --> 01:05:14,929
She'll get the formula at any moment now.
Start the recording.
1143
01:05:16,800 --> 01:05:18,427
Talk to me, Chester.
1144
01:05:18,502 --> 01:05:20,835
Talk is for amateurs.
You're working with a pro.
1145
01:05:20,905 --> 01:05:22,964
Please, just talk to me.
1146
01:05:23,041 --> 01:05:24,736
Well, pick a subject.
1147
01:05:26,678 --> 01:05:29,875
What did you think of me,
that first day at the airport?
1148
01:05:29,948 --> 01:05:33,510
I took one look at you and I knew that...
1149
01:05:33,853 --> 01:05:35,718
"the quadrant of the escape velocity..."
1150
01:05:35,788 --> 01:05:38,689
"equals the speed of trajectory
minus the initial thrust..."
1151
01:05:38,758 --> 01:05:42,024
"so that the combustion ratio
of the higher-octane fuel element..."
1152
01:05:42,095 --> 01:05:45,223
Go on, darling.
What happens when you think about me?
1153
01:05:45,298 --> 01:05:47,357
When I think of you, I think of...
1154
01:05:47,434 --> 01:05:49,026
"dual carburetors."
1155
01:05:49,102 --> 01:05:50,365
Dual carburetors?
1156
01:05:50,438 --> 01:05:51,769
"Marvelous dual carburetors..."
1157
01:05:51,839 --> 01:05:52,863
Yes?
1158
01:05:52,940 --> 01:05:57,104
"Which will enable the intake
manifold to accelerate dynamically."
1159
01:05:58,346 --> 01:06:00,474
Yes, what does that do, Chester?
1160
01:06:00,549 --> 01:06:03,814
"Increases escape velocity."
1161
01:06:04,687 --> 01:06:06,052
Those carburetors!
1162
01:06:06,121 --> 01:06:08,055
Don't stop, Chester. Keep talking.
1163
01:06:08,123 --> 01:06:10,148
Those dual carburetors...
1164
01:06:10,225 --> 01:06:11,557
Yes, Chester?
1165
01:06:11,628 --> 01:06:13,562
"Which relieve the digital computers..."
1166
01:06:13,630 --> 01:06:15,359
"and the escape velocity..."
1167
01:06:15,432 --> 01:06:16,797
Go on, Chester.
1168
01:06:16,866 --> 01:06:18,766
I'd rather go back to dual carburetors.
1169
01:06:18,835 --> 01:06:20,497
What happens next, Chester?
1170
01:06:20,571 --> 01:06:23,734
"The escape velocity reaches
three times the speed of sound..."
1171
01:06:23,808 --> 01:06:25,435
"dynamically..."
1172
01:06:25,509 --> 01:06:27,033
How much more?
1173
01:06:27,445 --> 01:06:30,779
He's nearing the final phase.
But I'm getting concerned about Diane.
1174
01:06:30,849 --> 01:06:31,975
Concerned?
1175
01:06:32,050 --> 01:06:34,814
She's showing dangerously
sentimental tendencies.
1176
01:06:34,886 --> 01:06:35,978
Look.
1177
01:06:36,054 --> 01:06:38,284
Chester, you're such a dear.
1178
01:06:38,957 --> 01:06:40,721
Please, hold me closer.
1179
01:06:40,793 --> 01:06:43,455
I want to marry you. I want the whole bit.
1180
01:06:43,529 --> 01:06:44,553
Chester.
1181
01:06:44,630 --> 01:06:46,962
Because I love you. I love your eyes.
1182
01:06:47,033 --> 01:06:49,024
I love your skin, I love your...
1183
01:06:49,102 --> 01:06:50,900
"dual carburetors."
1184
01:06:50,971 --> 01:06:52,097
Do you really?
1185
01:06:52,172 --> 01:06:55,767
"And when your lower octane component
mixes with your nuclear distillate..."
1186
01:06:56,376 --> 01:06:58,276
"on a ratio three times the quotient..."
1187
01:06:58,345 --> 01:07:00,336
"of your reverse
thrust manipulator..."
1188
01:07:00,414 --> 01:07:02,849
Brave Chester, pathetic Chester.
1189
01:07:02,917 --> 01:07:03,941
"Which is equal to..."
1190
01:07:04,018 --> 01:07:05,246
Doomed Chester.
1191
01:07:05,320 --> 01:07:08,551
"The sum of your numerators
multiplied by your square roots."
1192
01:07:08,690 --> 01:07:11,285
Believe me, you've got
the squarest roots I've ever seen.
1193
01:07:11,360 --> 01:07:13,828
No, stop! I can't let you go on anymore!
1194
01:07:13,896 --> 01:07:14,954
Diane!
1195
01:07:15,030 --> 01:07:16,156
Yes, sir.
1196
01:07:16,232 --> 01:07:18,564
You will come to the office at once!
1197
01:07:18,634 --> 01:07:19,692
Yes, sir.
1198
01:07:19,769 --> 01:07:21,670
Hey, wait a minute. Where are you going?
1199
01:07:21,738 --> 01:07:24,036
I have to go. But Chester...
1200
01:07:24,107 --> 01:07:27,270
Dear, sweet, darling, adorable Chester.
1201
01:07:27,344 --> 01:07:28,641
Comes through, doesn't it?
1202
01:07:28,712 --> 01:07:31,648
Trust me, and you'll come to no harm.
1203
01:07:31,716 --> 01:07:34,116
Trust me, and I make no promises.
1204
01:07:34,218 --> 01:07:35,446
Goodbye.
1205
01:07:38,289 --> 01:07:39,517
I'll be back.
1206
01:07:39,590 --> 01:07:40,921
Naturally.
1207
01:07:43,162 --> 01:07:46,529
You beast. You've still
got it, haven't you?
1208
01:07:48,634 --> 01:07:51,729
I may package it and call
it "lnstant Charm."
1209
01:07:51,905 --> 01:07:53,497
Darling, back already?
1210
01:07:53,573 --> 01:07:56,371
You brought flowers. That's unnecessary.
1211
01:07:57,777 --> 01:07:59,142
What are you doing here?
1212
01:07:59,212 --> 01:08:00,543
I just fell off a porpoise.
1213
01:08:00,613 --> 01:08:02,707
I thought I'd pop in and
borrow a cup of rice.
1214
01:08:02,783 --> 01:08:06,116
That's nice, but I'm saving all my rice
for a forthcoming wedding.
1215
01:08:06,187 --> 01:08:09,714
How sweet, how terribly sweet.
Then Diane has told you about us.
1216
01:08:09,790 --> 01:08:11,554
Yes, and better luck with the next girl.
1217
01:08:11,626 --> 01:08:13,184
I have a late flash for you, junior.
1218
01:08:13,261 --> 01:08:17,425
I happen to be here by invitation of the
lovely occupant of this cozy little pad.
1219
01:08:17,499 --> 01:08:19,023
I'll tell her when she comes back.
1220
01:08:19,100 --> 01:08:20,761
- You'll tell her?
- Thanks for these.
1221
01:08:20,836 --> 01:08:23,237
Where are you going with the greenery?
Just a minute.
1222
01:08:23,306 --> 01:08:25,274
That's nice. Don't call us, we'll call you.
1223
01:08:25,341 --> 01:08:26,981
And use the servants' entrance, will you?
1224
01:08:27,243 --> 01:08:29,677
You were acting directly against my orders.
1225
01:08:29,745 --> 01:08:31,771
I couldn't help it, sir.
1226
01:08:31,849 --> 01:08:35,444
I knew that the moment I had the formula
they both had to die.
1227
01:08:36,386 --> 01:08:38,377
An hour ago, she flipped over me.
1228
01:08:38,455 --> 01:08:40,582
- I don't dig it.
- That's understandable.
1229
01:08:40,657 --> 01:08:43,786
An impressionable young thing
falls for an elderly fellow.
1230
01:08:43,862 --> 01:08:46,023
She probably thought you
were a father figure.
1231
01:08:46,097 --> 01:08:47,155
Father figure?
1232
01:08:47,232 --> 01:08:49,700
Yes, then she realized
you had your father's figure.
1233
01:08:49,767 --> 01:08:51,736
That's clever, that's very good.
1234
01:08:51,804 --> 01:08:53,271
Kind of fit, didn't it?
1235
01:08:53,339 --> 01:08:54,499
- Please.
- What's the matter?
1236
01:08:54,540 --> 01:08:57,998
Don't do that. We find it difficult
getting help down here in the deep.
1237
01:08:58,077 --> 01:09:00,238
- I still don't understand.
- We have to be tidy.
1238
01:09:00,312 --> 01:09:03,077
She was there, I sang the song,
everything seemed to be...
1239
01:09:03,149 --> 01:09:06,118
Look, Harry, sit down.
Let me give you the scam on romance.
1240
01:09:06,186 --> 01:09:07,847
You see, some fellas have it...
1241
01:09:07,921 --> 01:09:09,354
- Yeah?
- And some fellas don't.
1242
01:09:09,422 --> 01:09:12,392
When I get back from my honeymoon,
if I have an hour or two...
1243
01:09:12,460 --> 01:09:13,984
I may loan you some.
1244
01:09:14,061 --> 01:09:15,255
Yeah, I'll have it analyzed.
1245
01:09:15,329 --> 01:09:18,389
Yes, well don't take it too hard.
1246
01:09:18,466 --> 01:09:20,093
I want you to stay for the wedding...
1247
01:09:20,167 --> 01:09:23,865
because after all,
we'll need a fat flower girl and I think...
1248
01:09:24,072 --> 01:09:25,630
Diane, I want the truth.
1249
01:09:25,874 --> 01:09:28,900
The plain, dispassionate, unadorned truth.
1250
01:09:28,977 --> 01:09:30,376
Why did you stop?
1251
01:09:30,445 --> 01:09:34,746
You were within two sentences of getting
the complete formula off Babcock's mind.
1252
01:09:34,817 --> 01:09:36,512
I couldn't help it, sir.
1253
01:09:36,586 --> 01:09:38,952
I kept seeing them on
the operating table...
1254
01:09:39,022 --> 01:09:41,889
being dissected, organ by organ.
1255
01:09:42,059 --> 01:09:44,550
That's the last time I get mixed up
with a med student.
1256
01:09:44,628 --> 01:09:46,186
- C'mon, let's blow!
- Wait. Look!
1257
01:09:46,263 --> 01:09:49,198
Please, sir, won't you spare them?
1258
01:09:49,266 --> 01:09:53,033
You seem to have grown
inordinately fond of these men.
1259
01:09:53,138 --> 01:09:55,003
Yes, it's true.
1260
01:09:55,440 --> 01:09:57,931
I do like them both, very much.
1261
01:09:58,476 --> 01:09:59,773
How about that?
1262
01:09:59,844 --> 01:10:01,277
This kid's in trouble.
1263
01:10:01,346 --> 01:10:04,510
Personal sentimentality has
no place in our movement.
1264
01:10:04,583 --> 01:10:06,175
Surely, sir, humanity demands...
1265
01:10:06,252 --> 01:10:09,449
I'll decide what humanity demands,
and I'll decide it my own way.
1266
01:10:09,522 --> 01:10:13,823
I'll deal with humanity as I please,
and I'll do with humanity as I choose!
1267
01:10:13,894 --> 01:10:16,988
And I'll do it from the moon
with my radial-lunar bombs!
1268
01:10:17,130 --> 01:10:19,064
Surely you don't intend to use those bombs!
1269
01:10:19,132 --> 01:10:24,036
Just enough to rid us of the tiresome
unemployed, the tedious, unwashed masses.
1270
01:10:24,105 --> 01:10:27,632
I'll level London and New York,
Rome and Moscow...
1271
01:10:27,709 --> 01:10:32,112
Paris and Tokyo, outmoded centers
of a decadent civilization.
1272
01:10:32,180 --> 01:10:36,481
I'll rebuild the world according to my
image, after my own specifications!
1273
01:10:36,552 --> 01:10:39,715
How about this guy?
We get killed and he wins an Academy Award.
1274
01:10:39,788 --> 01:10:42,622
Sounds more like Adolf than Oscar.
Let's get out of here.
1275
01:10:42,859 --> 01:10:44,554
You're stark, raving mad.
1276
01:10:44,627 --> 01:10:48,085
But not blind.
I can still recognize a traitor. Seize her.
1277
01:10:48,164 --> 01:10:51,395
Can we get the formula
off that idiot's mind without her?
1278
01:10:51,468 --> 01:10:54,267
For the final equation,
any moon symbol will do.
1279
01:10:54,338 --> 01:10:56,465
Very well, then. Dispose
of our little friend.
1280
01:10:56,540 --> 01:10:59,373
See that the sharks are not kept waiting.
1281
01:11:05,217 --> 01:11:08,186
- How do we get out of here?
- The submarine. I can handle it.
1282
01:11:08,253 --> 01:11:09,982
I know. I read the script.
1283
01:11:10,055 --> 01:11:11,420
Come on.
1284
01:11:15,995 --> 01:11:19,021
Attention! Emergency!
All security personnel!
1285
01:11:19,098 --> 01:11:20,827
Babcock, Turner and Diane have escaped.
1286
01:11:20,900 --> 01:11:23,768
Apprehend them and get the rest of
the formula from Babcock...
1287
01:11:23,837 --> 01:11:25,429
and I don't care how.
1288
01:12:05,917 --> 01:12:07,885
Cover that side. You go up there.
1289
01:12:11,322 --> 01:12:12,516
Wait, over there!
1290
01:12:12,590 --> 01:12:14,525
Weve got to get out of these clothes!
1291
01:12:14,593 --> 01:12:17,153
Yeah, if we could only
get something like that.
1292
01:12:17,396 --> 01:12:19,227
That's no problem.
1293
01:12:19,298 --> 01:12:21,630
Hey, Special Effects!
1294
01:12:21,700 --> 01:12:23,601
Us, them!
1295
01:12:25,905 --> 01:12:27,065
Gosh.
1296
01:12:27,140 --> 01:12:29,870
Hey, thanks! You saved
us doing a whole scene!
1297
01:12:29,943 --> 01:12:31,740
You see, we'd have to...
1298
01:12:33,079 --> 01:12:34,445
Here they are!
1299
01:13:02,311 --> 01:13:03,939
We've got to get to the police!
1300
01:13:04,014 --> 01:13:06,107
- How far?
- Two blocks.
1301
01:13:06,183 --> 01:13:08,151
- No!
- No way to get through there.
1302
01:13:08,218 --> 01:13:10,311
There must be something we can do.
1303
01:13:10,387 --> 01:13:13,447
The rickshaw. It's our only chance!
1304
01:13:16,728 --> 01:13:20,289
- Grab the poles, quick!
- Okay. Wait a minute.
1305
01:13:20,365 --> 01:13:21,559
What's the matter?
1306
01:13:21,633 --> 01:13:23,898
How come I always pull and you always ride?
1307
01:13:23,969 --> 01:13:26,267
Nature of the relationship.
Brains versus brawn.
1308
01:13:26,338 --> 01:13:27,771
You think you've got the brains?
1309
01:13:27,840 --> 01:13:29,171
- How much is two and two?
- Four.
1310
01:13:29,241 --> 01:13:30,299
- Four and four?
- Eight.
1311
01:13:30,376 --> 01:13:32,674
- Eight and eight?
- Get in.
1312
01:13:34,881 --> 01:13:38,078
Hey! Which way?
1313
01:13:39,352 --> 01:13:40,751
Got a match?
1314
01:13:41,688 --> 01:13:43,053
Never mind.
1315
01:13:47,328 --> 01:13:49,023
Hung up, eh?
1316
01:13:49,096 --> 01:13:52,156
That's what you get
for playing in these Chinese Westerns.
1317
01:13:52,233 --> 01:13:54,634
They'll string 'em up every time.
1318
01:13:56,138 --> 01:13:57,935
Here we go again!
1319
01:13:58,006 --> 01:13:59,906
Let's hide in here!
1320
01:14:03,278 --> 01:14:04,746
There's only one thing to do.
1321
01:14:04,814 --> 01:14:08,306
You've got to get Chester out of Hong Kong.
Go take the first plane.
1322
01:14:08,384 --> 01:14:09,851
How? We've no money...
1323
01:14:09,919 --> 01:14:12,683
I've got $500 in a locker
at the airport for an emergency.
1324
01:14:12,755 --> 01:14:14,986
Take the key, I'll try
and reach the police.
1325
01:14:15,059 --> 01:14:17,118
Meanwhile, good luck, and goodbye.
1326
01:14:17,194 --> 01:14:18,252
You, too, Chester.
1327
01:14:18,329 --> 01:14:21,196
Take care of yourself,
because if anything happens to your...
1328
01:14:21,265 --> 01:14:23,995
"thrust propellant ratio
of the atmospheric density..."
1329
01:14:24,068 --> 01:14:25,900
Chester!
1330
01:14:27,872 --> 01:14:29,305
Good luck.
1331
01:14:45,826 --> 01:14:47,794
You two, cover that side of the street.
1332
01:14:48,128 --> 01:14:49,789
Come on. In here.
1333
01:14:53,500 --> 01:14:56,766
You select which fish you want,
I give good Chinese meal.
1334
01:14:57,105 --> 01:14:58,868
I'll take that one.
1335
01:14:59,907 --> 01:15:01,807
Let's get out. There must be a back way.
1336
01:15:01,876 --> 01:15:03,434
- You got the key?
- Right here.
1337
01:15:03,511 --> 01:15:04,591
- Give it to me.
- What for?
1338
01:15:04,647 --> 01:15:05,978
- I'm still the treasurer.
- So?
1339
01:15:06,048 --> 01:15:10,815
So if the stuff's still in the treasurer's head,
the key is in the treasurer's hand, so give it.
1340
01:15:11,287 --> 01:15:13,221
- Very clever.
- Why didn't you hand it to me?
1341
01:15:13,289 --> 01:15:14,313
You blew the stuff.
1342
01:15:14,390 --> 01:15:16,188
- Who's got it?
- I think that one.
1343
01:15:16,259 --> 01:15:17,624
He's heavier. See how he acts?
1344
01:15:17,694 --> 01:15:19,992
- The one that looks like Jackie Gleason?
- No.
1345
01:15:28,272 --> 01:15:29,739
I think it was that one.
1346
01:15:29,807 --> 01:15:32,571
- Which one was it?
- Which one's got the key?
1347
01:15:32,643 --> 01:15:36,080
- Who knows? We'll have to buy them all.
- With what? We have no money.
1348
01:15:36,148 --> 01:15:38,639
We'll borrow them. This one, right here.
1349
01:15:41,186 --> 01:15:43,450
Here, what you do with my fish?
1350
01:15:43,955 --> 01:15:45,981
- You the proprietor here?
- Ah, so.
1351
01:15:46,059 --> 01:15:48,527
Mr. Ahso. Say, you got
pretty filthy joint here.
1352
01:15:48,594 --> 01:15:51,927
How many cockroaches you got
in your kitchen? 400? 500?
1353
01:15:51,998 --> 01:15:53,329
I no have 400 cockroaches!
1354
01:15:53,399 --> 01:15:54,764
Fine, let's say 300.
1355
01:15:54,834 --> 01:15:57,429
How long it's been
since you clean your chopstick?
1356
01:15:59,306 --> 01:16:01,297
Board of Health gets very mad at this.
1357
01:16:01,375 --> 01:16:02,399
Board of Health?
1358
01:16:02,476 --> 01:16:05,776
That's why we're here, to give you
protection. We're with the FBI.
1359
01:16:06,147 --> 01:16:08,274
Fish Protectors lncorporated.
1360
01:16:08,350 --> 01:16:10,443
Fish Protector, FPl.
1361
01:16:10,518 --> 01:16:12,679
What do you want, spelling or protection?
1362
01:16:17,460 --> 01:16:19,724
What's the matter?
You want to dance or something?
1363
01:16:19,795 --> 01:16:23,162
No, I just nervous.
I nervous about the Halibut Mob.
1364
01:16:23,232 --> 01:16:25,599
They come from Macao with
a big load of smelt.
1365
01:16:25,669 --> 01:16:27,034
Smelt?
1366
01:16:27,938 --> 01:16:30,372
- You smell smelt here?
- No smell smelt.
1367
01:16:30,440 --> 01:16:33,466
You no smell smelt?
Of all the smelt I ever smelled...
1368
01:16:33,543 --> 01:16:36,707
this is the schmeltiest
schmeller of the year.
1369
01:16:37,615 --> 01:16:38,912
I no smell smelt.
1370
01:16:38,983 --> 01:16:42,316
You don't? Well, there's something
wrong with your schmelt schmeller.
1371
01:16:42,387 --> 01:16:44,787
There's something funny here.
1372
01:16:44,856 --> 01:16:47,417
How come you dress like Chinee?
You no Chinee.
1373
01:16:47,493 --> 01:16:49,256
- I no Chinee?
- You no look Chinee.
1374
01:16:49,328 --> 01:16:51,353
What you say, I no look Chinee?
1375
01:16:51,430 --> 01:16:53,364
Your eye and hair no look Chinee.
1376
01:16:53,432 --> 01:16:57,062
I have operation, very expensive.
I have eye fix, push-in.
1377
01:16:57,137 --> 01:16:58,604
And I have hair fix.
1378
01:16:58,671 --> 01:17:00,662
Should have nose fix.
1379
01:17:00,740 --> 01:17:03,504
You stick to your
cockroaches, you understand?
1380
01:17:04,944 --> 01:17:07,243
Hey, the boat's loaded. Let's sail.
1381
01:17:07,314 --> 01:17:09,339
Don't get your protection
from anybody else.
1382
01:17:09,417 --> 01:17:11,317
Hey, you steal my fish!
1383
01:17:18,026 --> 01:17:20,221
There they are. Come on!
1384
01:17:22,831 --> 01:17:23,889
Come. This way!
1385
01:17:23,965 --> 01:17:25,592
- We're cooked.
- The end of the road.
1386
01:17:25,668 --> 01:17:27,033
No way out.
1387
01:17:28,805 --> 01:17:30,932
- You hear what I hear?
- It's Dorothy Lamour!
1388
01:17:31,007 --> 01:17:32,565
- She'll get us out.
- You think so?
1389
01:17:32,642 --> 01:17:35,806
Certainly. You can't finish
the picture in the alley. Come on!
1390
01:17:39,383 --> 01:17:42,318
Okay, fella. Just looking for somebody.
1391
01:17:43,320 --> 01:17:45,345
There she is. Dottie!
1392
01:17:45,422 --> 01:17:48,881
Well, boys! What in the world
are you doing over here in Hong Kong?
1393
01:17:48,960 --> 01:17:49,984
We're in a terrible jam.
1394
01:17:50,061 --> 01:17:51,858
Help us. Some guys are chasing us.
1395
01:17:51,930 --> 01:17:55,627
Killers. If you don't save us,
there'll be blood all over the screen.
1396
01:17:55,700 --> 01:17:57,931
Don't fight it. Look what
it did for Spartacus.
1397
01:17:58,003 --> 01:17:59,868
You've got to help us, we're still pals.
1398
01:17:59,939 --> 01:18:02,134
You can't forget the
pictures we made together!
1399
01:18:02,208 --> 01:18:05,268
Neither can anyone else.
That's why I'm working over here!
1400
01:18:11,551 --> 01:18:13,280
They sure don't look like chorus boys!
1401
01:18:13,353 --> 01:18:15,287
Those guys mean business. They're killers.
1402
01:18:15,355 --> 01:18:17,153
Besides that, they're unfriendly.
1403
01:18:18,493 --> 01:18:20,256
You see, the key is in the fish.
1404
01:18:20,328 --> 01:18:23,627
We're trying to get to the locker,
and we've got the formula...
1405
01:18:23,698 --> 01:18:25,689
Wait a minute!
1406
01:18:26,368 --> 01:18:29,667
Is that the plot of the picture so far?
I'd better hide you.
1407
01:18:29,738 --> 01:18:31,638
- From the killers?
- From the critics.
1408
01:18:31,707 --> 01:18:34,540
Come on, there's only one safe place.
On stage.
1409
01:18:34,610 --> 01:18:36,670
Come on, get dressed.
1410
01:18:36,746 --> 01:18:39,340
- Right in there.
- Yeah, in there.
1411
01:18:40,617 --> 01:18:42,915
You never want to have any fun!
1412
01:18:43,653 --> 01:18:45,416
Check the front of the house.
1413
01:19:01,573 --> 01:19:05,509
"The world is a shimmering thing"
1414
01:19:05,577 --> 01:19:09,571
"My lover is hastening to me"
1415
01:19:09,649 --> 01:19:13,380
"The night is a glimmering thing"
1416
01:19:13,452 --> 01:19:18,083
"And I, the envy of all who view me"
1417
01:19:18,859 --> 01:19:23,853
"Soon the music will start"
1418
01:19:27,936 --> 01:19:31,099
"Is that the door"
1419
01:19:32,607 --> 01:19:35,371
"Or my heart?"
1420
01:20:20,793 --> 01:20:25,594
"You smile that angel smile at me"
1421
01:20:25,665 --> 01:20:26,927
"And presto!"
1422
01:20:27,000 --> 01:20:29,162
"There's that chemistry"
1423
01:20:29,236 --> 01:20:32,228
"I'm warmer than a whisper"
1424
01:20:34,675 --> 01:20:38,077
"I don't know what it is you do"
1425
01:20:38,146 --> 01:20:41,547
"But every time I'm close to you"
1426
01:20:41,616 --> 01:20:45,450
"I'm warmer than a whisper"
1427
01:20:48,057 --> 01:20:53,051
"On the outside it could be December"
1428
01:20:53,462 --> 01:20:57,559
"Winter just having its fling"
1429
01:21:00,470 --> 01:21:05,464
"But you've got me glowing like an ember"
1430
01:21:06,009 --> 01:21:10,709
"For here in your arms, it's spring"
1431
01:21:11,916 --> 01:21:14,908
"And when you bring your lips to mine"
1432
01:21:14,986 --> 01:21:18,582
"I'm blushing like a valentine"
1433
01:21:19,124 --> 01:21:22,116
"And sighing like a willow"
1434
01:21:24,329 --> 01:21:27,595
"Although it sounds a bit insane"
1435
01:21:27,667 --> 01:21:32,661
"I'm misty just like summer rain"
1436
01:21:33,406 --> 01:21:34,873
"From above"
1437
01:21:41,182 --> 01:21:46,176
"if they ask me to explain the magic"
1438
01:21:46,487 --> 01:21:51,482
"The wonders your kisses perform"
1439
01:21:52,394 --> 01:21:56,023
"I'll simply say it's always May"
1440
01:21:56,098 --> 01:21:59,034
"So let the winds get crisper"
1441
01:21:59,102 --> 01:22:02,094
"I'm warmer than a whisper"
1442
01:22:02,171 --> 01:22:05,265
"And all because you whisper"
1443
01:22:05,341 --> 01:22:08,334
"I'm warmer than a whisper"
1444
01:22:08,412 --> 01:22:13,179
"And all because you whisper of love"
1445
01:22:28,501 --> 01:22:33,495
"On the outside it could be December"
1446
01:22:33,572 --> 01:22:38,510
"Winter just having its fling"
1447
01:22:38,745 --> 01:22:43,739
"But you've got me glowing like an ember"
1448
01:22:43,984 --> 01:22:48,979
"For here in your arms it's spring"
1449
01:22:51,125 --> 01:22:56,119
"The thrust propellant's ratio
to atmospheric density"
1450
01:22:56,230 --> 01:22:58,392
"ls 6-4-3-2-7"
1451
01:22:58,467 --> 01:23:01,903
Operator, this is an emergency.
Get the American Security Headquarters!
1452
01:23:01,970 --> 01:23:05,997
"Specific gravitation has
a pull that is equivalent"
1453
01:23:06,074 --> 01:23:08,373
"To 9-3-5-11"
1454
01:23:08,444 --> 01:23:11,470
But he's giving the formula
to them now. Listen!
1455
01:23:11,548 --> 01:23:15,450
"For the final setting of the mixture"
1456
01:23:15,518 --> 01:23:19,216
"Add hydrogen 6-2, and then"
1457
01:23:20,658 --> 01:23:25,459
"The rocket's ready now to blast off
Set ignition lever"
1458
01:23:25,529 --> 01:23:29,557
"And start the final countdown from 10"
1459
01:23:40,746 --> 01:23:44,375
Come on, no.
Come on, before they blow up the world!
1460
01:23:44,450 --> 01:23:46,042
- What world?
- You sang the formula!
1461
01:23:46,118 --> 01:23:47,881
- I did?
- Yes, and in my key!
1462
01:23:47,954 --> 01:23:50,788
- No!
- Yes, a little flat, too, you copycat.
1463
01:23:52,292 --> 01:23:54,760
Come on, get in there
where I hung your clothes up.
1464
01:23:54,828 --> 01:23:56,693
- Hurry up!
- It's dark in here!
1465
01:23:56,763 --> 01:23:58,823
Watch the window. See
if the coast is clear.
1466
01:23:58,900 --> 01:24:01,494
- Okay.
- You've got the coldest hands.
1467
01:24:02,670 --> 01:24:05,605
They're driving off in their cars now.
You'd better hurry.
1468
01:24:11,447 --> 01:24:13,278
Sweet Leilani!
1469
01:24:13,349 --> 01:24:16,807
- Well, Bloody Mary!
- You look so funny.
1470
01:24:18,687 --> 01:24:20,417
You're choking me!
1471
01:24:20,490 --> 01:24:22,151
Let's change into our right clothes.
1472
01:24:22,225 --> 01:24:24,216
You won't have time! Change in the car.
1473
01:24:24,294 --> 01:24:27,354
- What car?
- Mine. A tan Buick, outside.
1474
01:24:27,430 --> 01:24:29,194
Honey, we'll never forget you for this!
1475
01:24:29,267 --> 01:24:30,393
Call on us anytime.
1476
01:24:30,468 --> 01:24:32,868
The next time I need fresh fish.
1477
01:24:33,571 --> 01:24:36,131
We'll have these cleaned
and send them back.
1478
01:24:41,413 --> 01:24:44,405
What's the matter?
Didn't you ever see a Buick before?
1479
01:24:47,085 --> 01:24:48,211
It's absolute madness!
1480
01:24:48,287 --> 01:24:49,312
You heard what he said.
1481
01:24:49,389 --> 01:24:52,449
They've got the formula.
We've got to stop that rocket.
1482
01:24:53,226 --> 01:24:55,524
Two cars. You lead the way!
1483
01:25:04,605 --> 01:25:06,732
Gentlemen, I wish you the best of luck.
1484
01:25:06,807 --> 01:25:10,369
The rocket is ready for countdown.
We await only the formula.
1485
01:25:10,445 --> 01:25:11,445
Sir, I have it!
1486
01:25:11,513 --> 01:25:13,140
- The formula?
- Every word complete.
1487
01:25:13,214 --> 01:25:15,444
How long will it take to
adjust the fuel mixture?
1488
01:25:15,517 --> 01:25:16,882
- A matter of seconds.
- Very well.
1489
01:25:16,952 --> 01:25:19,079
In a few moments, you
will enter the rocket.
1490
01:25:19,154 --> 01:25:21,749
I shall trigger the bombs from here.
1491
01:25:21,824 --> 01:25:23,951
- All set!
- Take your position in the rocket.
1492
01:25:24,026 --> 01:25:27,655
- Not today, Porky!
- Not on your sister's cat's lavaliere!
1493
01:25:32,336 --> 01:25:33,701
Hey, wait!
1494
01:25:37,074 --> 01:25:38,473
Get them!
1495
01:26:00,233 --> 01:26:02,326
Thank heavens, you're safe!
1496
01:26:03,103 --> 01:26:04,968
Hey, wait a minute!
1497
01:26:11,479 --> 01:26:13,606
Get away from that panel!
1498
01:26:30,166 --> 01:26:32,862
Do something!
That rocket's loaded with atomic bombs!
1499
01:26:35,271 --> 01:26:37,535
Sorry, sir. Can't do a thing.
1500
01:26:47,084 --> 01:26:50,054
We've got to change course
or we'll blow up the world!
1501
01:26:50,855 --> 01:26:52,254
Help me!
1502
01:27:00,900 --> 01:27:02,094
They've turned it.
1503
01:27:02,835 --> 01:27:05,668
- Look! They're heading for another planet!
- Yes. Plutonius.
1504
01:27:05,738 --> 01:27:09,174
- Plutonius? Can they live there?
- Possible.
1505
01:27:09,241 --> 01:27:11,972
Is there any chance of
ever getting them back again?
1506
01:27:12,045 --> 01:27:13,512
Not a chance.
1507
01:27:14,147 --> 01:27:17,378
I'm afraid they'll be there
for the rest of their natural lives.
1508
01:27:18,251 --> 01:27:21,813
Well, all we can do then is wish them luck.
1509
01:27:26,828 --> 01:27:30,765
Nothing but rocks.
What a spot for an lrish picnic!
1510
01:27:31,366 --> 01:27:34,961
Lots of fresh water up there.
Crazy looking plants.
1511
01:27:35,437 --> 01:27:38,406
Outside of that,
Nothingville, South Dakota.
1512
01:27:39,775 --> 01:27:43,439
- So here we are, stuck for life.
- Just the three of us.
1513
01:27:44,280 --> 01:27:45,907
At least we'll survive.
1514
01:27:45,982 --> 01:27:49,076
We've got everything we need,
water, sunshine, food.
1515
01:27:49,152 --> 01:27:52,645
- Everything except people.
- Correction. I have people.
1516
01:27:52,723 --> 01:27:54,691
No, drop the candy counter.
1517
01:27:54,758 --> 01:27:55,816
Where are you going?
1518
01:27:55,893 --> 01:27:57,383
You'll find something female.
1519
01:27:57,461 --> 01:27:59,725
Some attractive plant life,
some friendly grass.
1520
01:27:59,797 --> 01:28:01,129
Why don't you go climb a peak?
1521
01:28:01,199 --> 01:28:04,327
Climb a peak, see if you can flag down
a gooney bird or something.
1522
01:28:06,371 --> 01:28:07,463
Don't tear it!
1523
01:28:07,539 --> 01:28:09,700
Wait a minute!
1524
01:28:09,774 --> 01:28:12,369
There must be some sensible
solution to this problem.
1525
01:28:12,445 --> 01:28:14,709
Well, of course there is!
Two fellas, one girl.
1526
01:28:14,780 --> 01:28:17,112
Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays,
you come to my house.
1527
01:28:17,183 --> 01:28:19,743
Yes. Tuesdays, Thursdays
and Saturdays, my house.
1528
01:28:20,186 --> 01:28:22,655
- What about Sunday?
- Everybody rests.
1529
01:28:24,358 --> 01:28:26,792
Yes, that housework is murder.
1530
01:28:27,427 --> 01:28:29,520
I'm not sure I quite understand.
1531
01:28:29,596 --> 01:28:31,724
Really, it's all very simple.
1532
01:28:32,567 --> 01:28:36,663
"We three wind up together, it's teamwork!
1533
01:28:37,105 --> 01:28:41,372
"In foul or sunny weather, it's teamwork!
1534
01:28:41,644 --> 01:28:45,341
"This strange Design for Living
does not seem right"
1535
01:28:45,414 --> 01:28:47,279
"it's gonna take teamwork"
1536
01:28:47,650 --> 01:28:49,550
"Day and night"
1537
01:28:49,618 --> 01:28:54,215
"'Cause you're a pal,
this time we share the gal"
1538
01:28:54,291 --> 01:28:56,350
"You've lifted my morale"
1539
01:28:56,426 --> 01:28:58,155
"Can it be done?"
1540
01:28:58,228 --> 01:28:59,820
"And what fun!"
1541
01:28:59,896 --> 01:29:04,357
"The team is now a trio, it's teamwork!"
1542
01:29:04,669 --> 01:29:08,696
"Two Caesars, and one Cleo, it's teamwork!"
1543
01:29:08,773 --> 01:29:12,870
"This time it's 50-50
like friend to friend"
1544
01:29:12,945 --> 01:29:14,776
"it's gonna be teamwork!"
1545
01:29:14,846 --> 01:29:17,280
"That peaches-and-cream work"
1546
01:29:17,349 --> 01:29:19,374
"That makes-your-eyes-gleam work"
1547
01:29:19,451 --> 01:29:21,750
"That doesn't quite seem work"
1548
01:29:21,821 --> 01:29:23,948
"That right-on-the-beam work"
1549
01:29:24,023 --> 01:29:25,650
Lookit here!
1550
01:29:28,261 --> 01:29:29,387
Next.
1551
01:29:31,432 --> 01:29:33,195
The ltalians have landed!
1552
01:29:33,267 --> 01:29:36,168
- That's the grape and the twig.
- And they've got the bar open.
1553
01:29:36,237 --> 01:29:38,171
Let's break it up, those tourists!
1554
01:29:38,439 --> 01:29:40,634
What's going on here?
1555
01:29:40,708 --> 01:29:42,506
What are you guys doing here?
1556
01:29:42,577 --> 01:29:45,569
This is a local stop, isn't it?
Just dropped by to refuel.
1557
01:29:45,647 --> 01:29:49,048
We heard you're stuck for an end,
so we'll pull a few threads together.
1558
01:29:49,117 --> 01:29:51,142
Do it on your own loom.
1559
01:29:51,219 --> 01:29:54,519
Say, this is a lost planet.
How did you guys get here?
1560
01:29:54,590 --> 01:29:56,023
Special Effects.
1561
01:29:57,126 --> 01:30:00,994
Special Effects! How long
are you fixing to stay?
1562
01:30:01,063 --> 01:30:02,691
Haven't even thought about it.
1563
01:30:03,066 --> 01:30:05,364
- Shall we think about it?
- Let's.
1564
01:30:05,535 --> 01:30:09,027
That's long enough! Hey, Special Effects!
1565
01:30:14,412 --> 01:30:18,314
"I said it's 50-50, like friend to friend"
1566
01:30:18,383 --> 01:30:20,283
"it's gonna be teamwork!"
1567
01:30:20,351 --> 01:30:22,286
"That peaches-and-cream work!"
1568
01:30:22,354 --> 01:30:24,879
"You can't beat that teamwork"
1569
01:30:24,957 --> 01:30:26,857
"Two fellas with teamwork"
1570
01:30:26,925 --> 01:30:29,223
"Those buddies with teamwork"
1571
01:30:29,295 --> 01:30:31,525
"Two chappies with teamwork"
1572
01:30:31,998 --> 01:30:35,798
Hey, wait! Wait a minute!
Remember what we said?
1573
01:30:36,603 --> 01:30:38,935
Look, you got your 80, at least give me 20!
1574
01:30:39,005 --> 01:30:40,768
Hey, breathe awhile.
1575
01:30:40,840 --> 01:30:43,935
Hey, you, the phone, you're
wanted on the phone.
1576
01:30:44,011 --> 01:30:45,638
Special Effects!
1577
01:30:46,347 --> 01:30:49,214
No! Not me! Him, you fool!
1578
01:30:49,283 --> 01:30:51,581
How many times have I told you?
1579
01:30:52,454 --> 01:30:54,718
"You gotta have teamwork"
1580
01:30:54,790 --> 01:30:56,781
"That peaches-and-cream work"
1581
01:30:56,858 --> 01:31:01,818
"You gotta have teamwork to the end"
115567
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