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00:00:00,078 --> 00:00:01,851
Previously, on
"Brockmire"...
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00:00:01,943 --> 00:00:03,943
I know how to get people
come to basball game.
3
00:00:04,028 --> 00:00:06,004
Once I prove it,
you wanna higher...
4
00:00:06,089 --> 00:00:07,894
something company
Jules James promotion.
5
00:00:07,986 --> 00:00:11,109
Food shortage riots have hit
Georgia and South Carolina
6
00:00:11,193 --> 00:00:14,109
as hungry moms sweep through
the streets looking for food.
7
00:00:14,193 --> 00:00:16,843
The owners will never let me
enact any real change.
8
00:00:16,927 --> 00:00:19,476
Since when do you need
permission for anything?
9
00:00:19,560 --> 00:00:20,900
Just follow your instincts
and make
10
00:00:20,984 --> 00:00:22,226
a lot of noise
when you do.
11
00:00:22,318 --> 00:00:25,007
- I'm dating George Breath.
- Seriously.
12
00:00:33,172 --> 00:00:37,192
Hey, guys. It's Jules James
coming at you live from Philly
13
00:00:37,284 --> 00:00:39,369
on the Fourth of Jul-y,
14
00:00:39,453 --> 00:00:44,132
and we are here at another
Jules James promotion sellout,
15
00:00:44,228 --> 00:00:45,886
and I'm working
with the Goat.
16
00:00:45,971 --> 00:00:48,790
That's right, world-famous
escape artist,
17
00:00:48,875 --> 00:00:51,127
the Great Tomas is here!
18
00:00:51,212 --> 00:00:53,296
Now, people have tried
for years
19
00:00:53,433 --> 00:00:54,712
to get him to
come out of retirement,
20
00:00:54,796 --> 00:00:56,786
but nobody can say
no to Jules, right?
21
00:00:56,870 --> 00:00:58,955
- Right.
- Last time we saw you,
22
00:00:59,039 --> 00:01:02,058
you were locked in a safe
tied to a railroad track
23
00:01:02,142 --> 00:01:04,360
right before two
freight trains collided.
24
00:01:04,444 --> 00:01:06,125
Tell us what
you have planned today.
25
00:01:06,346 --> 00:01:09,242
First I'd like to dedicate
today to my late wife
26
00:01:09,444 --> 00:01:10,799
and to all the other survivors
27
00:01:10,884 --> 00:01:12,203
still trying to get
out of Scottsdale.
28
00:01:12,287 --> 00:01:14,812
Yeah, super sad, which is why
today's uplifting stunt
29
00:01:14,897 --> 00:01:17,031
is gonna be just
what this country needs.
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00:01:17,116 --> 00:01:18,444
Take us through it.
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00:01:18,647 --> 00:01:21,179
Um, well,
to start things off,
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00:01:21,335 --> 00:01:24,846
the gospel choir from the
Triumphant Heart Baptist Church
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00:01:24,931 --> 00:01:26,482
will be singing
"America the Beautiful."
34
00:01:26,566 --> 00:01:30,553
USA, USA, right? USA.
And then what?
35
00:01:30,637 --> 00:01:33,429
I... I will be trapped in a box
surrounded by
36
00:01:33,514 --> 00:01:34,642
fireworks...
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00:01:34,727 --> 00:01:37,446
Which will explode
just as the song crescendos.
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00:01:37,630 --> 00:01:40,416
All on our nation's birthday.
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00:01:40,586 --> 00:01:43,640
Well, Tommy,
see you on the flip side?
40
00:01:43,854 --> 00:01:45,367
Good-bye, everybody.
41
00:01:48,724 --> 00:01:50,108
How about that, fam?
42
00:01:50,193 --> 00:01:52,773
Now, don't forget to swipe up
so you can see
43
00:01:52,858 --> 00:01:54,644
my entire calendar
for the rest of the season.
44
00:01:54,728 --> 00:01:57,429
I'm once again doing this
for all 30 teams.
45
00:01:57,629 --> 00:01:59,375
Happy Fourth.
46
00:02:13,980 --> 00:02:15,331
There's my superstar.
47
00:02:16,683 --> 00:02:17,937
Happiness?
48
00:02:18,106 --> 00:02:21,292
Amazing, just amazing, Jules.
49
00:02:21,562 --> 00:02:22,812
We're sold out again.
50
00:02:22,945 --> 00:02:23,973
Every other game today
51
00:02:24,057 --> 00:02:26,776
is getting interrupted
to carry this.
52
00:02:28,952 --> 00:02:31,571
Philadelphia,
please give a warm welcome
53
00:02:31,656 --> 00:02:34,183
to the Triumphant
Heart Gospel Choir.
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00:02:34,320 --> 00:02:36,519
They will be singing
"America the Beautiful."
55
00:02:36,603 --> 00:02:40,023
This song is dedicated to all
the deceased in Scottsdale
56
00:02:40,107 --> 00:02:42,140
and The Disputed Lands.
57
00:02:42,427 --> 00:02:46,570
♪ Oh beautiful ♪
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00:02:46,807 --> 00:02:50,699
♪ For spacious skies ♪
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00:02:51,007 --> 00:02:55,071
♪ For amber waves ♪
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00:02:55,155 --> 00:02:58,765
♪ Of grain ♪
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00:02:58,925 --> 00:03:00,310
Ladies and gentlemen,
62
00:03:00,394 --> 00:03:03,579
please put your hands
together for the Great Tomas.
63
00:03:06,611 --> 00:03:08,363
Have you considered my offer?
64
00:03:08,502 --> 00:03:10,586
I'd love to have you work
for me full-time.
65
00:03:10,670 --> 00:03:14,324
Freddie, this is
an open relationship.
66
00:03:14,408 --> 00:03:17,994
You're free to see other
promoters, but why would you?
67
00:03:21,515 --> 00:03:28,271
♪ Above the fruited plains ♪
68
00:03:28,355 --> 00:03:32,421
♪ America ♪
69
00:03:32,606 --> 00:03:36,093
♪ America ♪
70
00:03:36,192 --> 00:03:39,265
Getting the kids to do
the honors was a nice touch.
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00:03:39,462 --> 00:03:40,502
I'm all about the details.
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00:03:42,803 --> 00:03:45,914
♪ And crown thy good ♪
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00:03:46,031 --> 00:03:49,592
♪ With brotherhood ♪
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00:03:49,676 --> 00:03:53,463
♪ From sea to shining sea.
75
00:03:53,547 --> 00:03:55,750
Is that dynamite?
76
00:03:55,930 --> 00:03:57,875
I only get the good shit,
Freddie.
77
00:04:00,925 --> 00:04:05,703
All; Five, four, three,
two, one!
78
00:04:13,533 --> 00:04:14,935
Ahh!
79
00:04:15,860 --> 00:04:17,278
Ahh!
80
00:04:20,463 --> 00:04:22,615
- I hate this song!
- Shit.
81
00:04:22,948 --> 00:04:25,934
I had no inkling
of Tomas' mental state.
82
00:04:26,066 --> 00:04:28,730
I suppose I could have seen
the signs on Twitter.
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00:04:28,815 --> 00:04:32,031
His last Facebook post
84
00:04:32,116 --> 00:04:34,132
could be interpreted
as a suicide note,
85
00:04:34,220 --> 00:04:35,446
but that's a lot of
86
00:04:35,531 --> 00:04:37,306
Monday-morning quarterbacking
going on.
87
00:04:37,390 --> 00:04:39,976
I have just been trying to hug
88
00:04:40,060 --> 00:04:41,944
as many of the traumatized
as possible,
89
00:04:42,028 --> 00:04:43,948
and to the families
who had to witness this...
90
00:04:45,491 --> 00:04:48,250
It's a sad day for America
and for baseball.
91
00:04:48,401 --> 00:04:50,019
- Ms. James...
- Is it true that the owners
92
00:04:50,103 --> 00:04:52,021
have canceled
all your upcoming promotions?
93
00:04:52,105 --> 00:04:53,322
How could you do this
to baseball?
94
00:04:53,406 --> 00:04:55,825
Anyone who knows me knows
how much I love baseball.
95
00:04:55,909 --> 00:04:57,293
Ms. James,
why do you hate America?
96
00:04:57,377 --> 00:05:00,062
If that's true, then why did
Jim Brockmire have no comment?
97
00:05:00,146 --> 00:05:01,581
Julia...
98
00:05:01,665 --> 00:05:02,929
*BROCKMIRE*
Season 04 Episode 03
99
00:05:03,021 --> 00:05:04,286
Episode Title: "Low and Away"
Aired on: April 01, 2020
100
00:05:04,568 --> 00:05:06,483
Hey there, America.
It's me, your friend,
101
00:05:06,568 --> 00:05:08,123
Gatling Gary,
and I got a problem.
102
00:05:08,208 --> 00:05:10,841
I got too many guns!
How many guns?
103
00:05:11,011 --> 00:05:13,863
Well, I got this gun,
this gun, this gun,
104
00:05:13,947 --> 00:05:15,598
and even go
this little bitch gun!
105
00:05:15,682 --> 00:05:17,481
Look at it.
I got too many guns!
106
00:05:17,566 --> 00:05:18,841
But that's not all we got.
107
00:05:18,936 --> 00:05:20,735
Are you tired of your
armor-piercing rounds
108
00:05:20,820 --> 00:05:22,138
not piercing the armor
of all those
109
00:05:22,222 --> 00:05:23,560
ATF tanks that are coming
on your property?
110
00:05:23,644 --> 00:05:26,330
We got Uncle Uriah's
uranium super bullets!
111
00:05:26,415 --> 00:05:28,343
They will
a mother up!
112
00:05:29,696 --> 00:05:32,115
We got flak jackets,
custom-tailored flak jackets
113
00:05:32,199 --> 00:05:33,678
for formal occasions,
weddings, funerals,
114
00:05:33,762 --> 00:05:35,246
outlawed gay wedding,
cock fights,
115
00:05:35,331 --> 00:05:37,115
gangbangs,
bar mitzvahs, and, of course,
116
00:05:37,200 --> 00:05:39,118
we got all the above
in kids' sizes!
117
00:05:39,203 --> 00:05:42,323
And we've got water-siphoning
kits, chemical toilets,
118
00:05:42,408 --> 00:05:43,725
lime for body disposal,
119
00:05:43,810 --> 00:05:45,294
erectile dysfunction
injections.
120
00:05:45,379 --> 00:05:47,302
We've got it all!
But what do I really got?
121
00:05:47,387 --> 00:05:49,264
I got too many guns!
122
00:05:49,349 --> 00:05:50,810
If you don't come down
and buy some of these guns,
123
00:05:50,894 --> 00:05:53,446
I'm gonna blow my brains out!
I'm not kidding!
124
00:05:53,531 --> 00:05:56,683
I'm gonna do it in front
of my kids, so come on down!
125
00:05:56,768 --> 00:05:58,254
Gatling Gary's Guns not
responsible for any crime
126
00:05:58,338 --> 00:05:59,317
committed
with Gatling Gary's gun.
127
00:05:59,402 --> 00:06:00,787
Gun companies are not
responsible for Gatling Gary
128
00:06:00,871 --> 00:06:03,060
actually blowing his brains
out in front of his family.
129
00:06:03,161 --> 00:06:06,297
Content fatigue, it's real,
and it's a problem.
130
00:06:06,497 --> 00:06:08,348
Millions suffer
from the anxiety,
131
00:06:08,478 --> 00:06:11,217
inability to focus,
and irritability brought on
132
00:06:11,302 --> 00:06:12,955
by mild to moderate CF.
133
00:06:13,039 --> 00:06:14,552
Sure, we could just watch...
134
00:06:14,644 --> 00:06:16,996
Carol, turn that shit off.
135
00:06:17,081 --> 00:06:19,132
That Charles fella
called again.
136
00:06:19,217 --> 00:06:20,868
I got his number for you.
137
00:06:20,953 --> 00:06:24,639
Won't be needing it.
Just keep telling him I'm busy.
138
00:06:24,735 --> 00:06:26,687
I thought you were dealing
with that rash.
139
00:06:26,772 --> 00:06:29,371
Well, the bus to Canada
doesn't come
140
00:06:29,456 --> 00:06:31,240
through here anymore,
so I haven't been able
141
00:06:31,324 --> 00:06:35,013
to get my swine shingle pills,
but it's fine.
142
00:06:35,098 --> 00:06:37,052
Really? That thing was
covering half your body
143
00:06:37,163 --> 00:06:38,536
before you got on your meds.
144
00:06:38,621 --> 00:06:42,216
I fought my fight.
The rash won.
145
00:06:42,761 --> 00:06:45,112
Tour's here.
I won't be back later.
146
00:06:45,197 --> 00:06:48,016
You'll lock up?
Oh, God.
147
00:06:48,341 --> 00:06:50,020
God, Carol!
148
00:06:50,449 --> 00:06:52,434
Second one this week,
149
00:06:52,564 --> 00:06:54,415
and I'm still standing.
150
00:06:54,710 --> 00:06:56,045
It's fine.
151
00:07:08,837 --> 00:07:12,423
It turns out spraying toxic
chemicals underground
152
00:07:12,508 --> 00:07:14,460
to dissolve shale
into a natural gas
153
00:07:14,545 --> 00:07:16,796
has some unforeseen
consequences,
154
00:07:16,881 --> 00:07:20,301
but the most impressive
consequence of fracking
155
00:07:20,386 --> 00:07:23,438
is our eternal flame here.
156
00:07:23,643 --> 00:07:26,192
Beneath where we stand,
157
00:07:26,277 --> 00:07:31,749
rages of fire
that will outlast all humanity.
158
00:07:32,432 --> 00:07:35,251
'Kay, now time
for the burning of regrets.
159
00:07:35,554 --> 00:07:36,856
Let's line up.
160
00:07:37,084 --> 00:07:38,635
The flame is green
for a reason.
161
00:07:38,720 --> 00:07:40,871
It offers pure catharsis
162
00:07:40,968 --> 00:07:44,321
incinerating whatever it is
you've come to burn,
163
00:07:44,484 --> 00:07:47,809
marriage certificates,
love letters, a bad prom photo,
164
00:07:47,934 --> 00:07:49,602
but please no dead pets.
165
00:07:52,806 --> 00:07:56,825
The fire burns quickly,
but the smell tends to linger.
166
00:07:57,106 --> 00:08:00,419
We do request a $50 donation
to go toward flame upkeep
167
00:08:00,504 --> 00:08:04,223
and the completion
of our visitor's center.
168
00:08:04,308 --> 00:08:06,527
The flame is booked up
for Halloween parties
169
00:08:06,612 --> 00:08:09,764
years into the future,
but the visitor's center
170
00:08:09,849 --> 00:08:13,903
will make this place
a year-round destination.
171
00:08:23,410 --> 00:08:26,091
$100?
Do you have anything to burn?
172
00:08:26,226 --> 00:08:28,195
A whole day, apparently.
173
00:08:30,627 --> 00:08:32,678
This is why you're too busy
to call me back?
174
00:08:34,975 --> 00:08:36,315
Life's been pretty good.
175
00:08:36,400 --> 00:08:37,573
Career is great.
176
00:08:37,658 --> 00:08:39,602
Um, I'm divorcing Denise, though.
177
00:08:39,686 --> 00:08:41,637
Aww, that's a shame.
I really liked her.
178
00:08:41,721 --> 00:08:42,772
Oh, not that Denise.
179
00:08:42,856 --> 00:08:46,346
This... that divorce
was... five years ago?
180
00:08:46,431 --> 00:08:48,690
I'm also paying alimony
to a Patrice.
181
00:08:49,653 --> 00:08:51,337
- I have a type.
- Mm.
182
00:08:51,541 --> 00:08:52,571
No, thank you.
183
00:08:52,656 --> 00:08:55,341
I don't really... oh,
that was for you.
184
00:08:55,518 --> 00:08:56,685
What happened
to white wine?
185
00:08:56,770 --> 00:08:59,213
This yanks the shades down
a little faster.
186
00:08:59,439 --> 00:09:03,041
Well, look, I tried to call,
but you just never answered.
187
00:09:03,126 --> 00:09:04,200
After the whole
Philadelphia thing,
188
00:09:04,284 --> 00:09:05,928
you just kinda disappeared.
189
00:09:06,012 --> 00:09:07,268
How much are you
charging Jim?
190
00:09:07,353 --> 00:09:08,604
Excuse you?
191
00:09:08,720 --> 00:09:10,994
Jim is one of my
oldest friends,
192
00:09:11,721 --> 00:09:15,140
so I'm charging him my friend
rate of $100,000 per day.
193
00:09:15,286 --> 00:09:17,706
- How kind.
- Look, I know it can be scary
194
00:09:17,791 --> 00:09:19,542
to return
to something you failed at.
195
00:09:19,626 --> 00:09:22,526
I didn't fail at baseball.
196
00:09:23,222 --> 00:09:25,407
I failed at saving Morristown.
197
00:09:26,861 --> 00:09:28,237
Who's that?
198
00:09:29,211 --> 00:09:30,462
You here for a drink
or trouble?
199
00:09:30,547 --> 00:09:32,431
'Cause I serve both.
200
00:09:32,516 --> 00:09:35,502
Carol,
wh... are you living here?
201
00:09:35,678 --> 00:09:37,182
'Fraid so.
202
00:09:37,267 --> 00:09:39,953
Copperheads hit my place
a couple weeks back.
203
00:09:40,565 --> 00:09:43,866
They're a roving biker gang
who steal
204
00:09:43,950 --> 00:09:46,202
all the copper piping out
of the buildings around here.
205
00:09:46,286 --> 00:09:48,580
Ripped all the floors open.
206
00:09:48,761 --> 00:09:51,480
Then they had
some kind of yogurt party.
207
00:09:51,658 --> 00:09:53,409
Please tell me
you didn't eat that yogurt.
208
00:09:53,493 --> 00:09:56,445
It's fine.
It was all over my walls.
209
00:09:56,643 --> 00:09:57,847
Of course I ate the yogurt.
210
00:09:57,931 --> 00:09:59,659
Carol, it's not fine.
211
00:09:59,744 --> 00:10:01,913
Ay-yi-yi.
212
00:10:03,827 --> 00:10:06,744
I do have one idea
to help baseball,
213
00:10:07,010 --> 00:10:11,510
a great one, actually,
but it's gonna cost him.
214
00:10:11,665 --> 00:10:14,517
- How much?
- $134,000.
215
00:10:14,632 --> 00:10:17,217
That's a bizarrely
specific number,
216
00:10:17,302 --> 00:10:19,721
but I'm sure Jim
can convince them to do that.
217
00:10:19,890 --> 00:10:21,341
I'll get back to you tomorrow.
218
00:10:21,488 --> 00:10:24,455
- Okay.
- Limon, blimp.
219
00:10:28,913 --> 00:10:33,033
Mankind is a virus
infecting the Earth.
220
00:10:33,266 --> 00:10:37,196
Mankind is a virus infecting
the Earth.
221
00:10:39,739 --> 00:10:41,590
What exactly am I
looking at right now?
222
00:10:41,674 --> 00:10:42,725
We do a lot of business
with cults.
223
00:10:42,809 --> 00:10:45,795
It really helps
when tourist season slows down.
224
00:10:45,879 --> 00:10:47,907
Mm.
225
00:10:48,248 --> 00:10:50,165
You work with cults?
226
00:10:50,759 --> 00:10:53,010
Well, I weed out
the suicide-y,
227
00:10:53,141 --> 00:10:54,792
marry young girls-y ones.
228
00:10:54,891 --> 00:10:58,144
These guys are great, no drugs,
and a very upbeat message.
229
00:10:58,291 --> 00:11:01,743
Mankind is a virus
infecting the Earth.
230
00:11:01,851 --> 00:11:03,571
Let's give them some space.
231
00:11:05,146 --> 00:11:08,131
- Mankind is a virus...
- Got my money?
232
00:11:08,301 --> 00:11:09,651
Yeah, the whole amount
should have been wired
233
00:11:09,735 --> 00:11:10,552
to your account.
234
00:11:10,637 --> 00:11:15,165
Mankind is a virus
infecting the Earth.
235
00:11:15,295 --> 00:11:16,555
So it was.
236
00:11:16,640 --> 00:11:18,851
And Jim can't wait for your
big idea to save baseball.
237
00:11:18,936 --> 00:11:21,021
Oh,
I can just tell it to you.
238
00:11:21,247 --> 00:11:23,999
All Jim has to do
is build a time machine
239
00:11:24,083 --> 00:11:26,335
to take everyone back to
when America wasn't
240
00:11:26,419 --> 00:11:29,165
a blighted hellscape
and baseball was still popular.
241
00:11:29,391 --> 00:11:33,242
It's gonna have to be really
big to fit everybody inside.
242
00:11:33,326 --> 00:11:38,532
So you just scammed Jim
out of $134,000?
243
00:11:38,617 --> 00:11:40,595
I just recouped
my legal expenses
244
00:11:40,680 --> 00:11:42,605
from when those asshole owners
sued me,
245
00:11:42,716 --> 00:11:47,493
and I will use that money
to finish my visitor's center.
246
00:11:47,602 --> 00:11:49,019
Anyway, what do you care?
247
00:11:49,275 --> 00:11:52,407
You just bilked him
for $300,000.
248
00:11:52,492 --> 00:11:54,384
5 actually.
249
00:11:55,982 --> 00:11:58,701
Are we bad people
for fleecing our friend?
250
00:11:58,785 --> 00:12:01,454
If he were really our friend,
he would have seen this coming.
251
00:12:05,458 --> 00:12:07,676
Is there a time
when the eternal flame
252
00:12:07,760 --> 00:12:09,970
- goes out for a little bit?
- No, Charles.
253
00:12:10,055 --> 00:12:13,015
That's why it's called
the eternal flame.
254
00:12:13,235 --> 00:12:16,298
Well, it's out right now.
255
00:12:16,995 --> 00:12:19,981
Oh, no. It can't just go out.
256
00:12:20,206 --> 00:12:21,290
It can only relocate.
257
00:12:34,984 --> 00:12:37,311
Do you have too many
payday loans?
258
00:12:37,396 --> 00:12:38,945
Are you feeling crushed by debt
259
00:12:39,030 --> 00:12:40,702
that you just can't keep up
with,
260
00:12:40,787 --> 00:12:43,492
harassed by
predatory collectors?
261
00:12:43,577 --> 00:12:45,913
Well, Permacash
has the solution.
262
00:12:45,998 --> 00:12:47,702
Permacash will give you
the cash advance
263
00:12:47,787 --> 00:12:49,062
your family needs today.
264
00:12:49,147 --> 00:12:50,578
If you're not using
your organs,
265
00:12:50,663 --> 00:12:51,820
why not give them to us,
266
00:12:51,905 --> 00:12:54,093
and we'll give you cold,
hard cash?
267
00:12:54,178 --> 00:12:56,210
And for a limited time
you could take advantage
268
00:12:56,295 --> 00:12:58,234
of our patented pain-free,
no-muss,
269
00:12:58,319 --> 00:13:00,523
no-fuss euthanasia process.
270
00:13:00,608 --> 00:13:03,327
You have a choice of coming to
a Permacash location near you,
271
00:13:03,411 --> 00:13:05,629
or we can send you
a Permacash home donation
272
00:13:05,713 --> 00:13:07,931
and euthanasia kit,
and you can file permanent
273
00:13:08,015 --> 00:13:10,300
bankruptcy in the comfort
of your own home.
274
00:13:10,384 --> 00:13:12,569
You get those predatory
companies off your back,
275
00:13:12,653 --> 00:13:15,170
and your family gets
the quick cash they need.
276
00:13:15,306 --> 00:13:17,584
Why suffer through the effects
of water toxicity,
277
00:13:17,669 --> 00:13:19,981
radiation sickness,
or super cancer?
278
00:13:20,066 --> 00:13:23,295
Let your body go now, before
it's of no use to anybody.
279
00:13:23,380 --> 00:13:25,298
Let it go to a good cause.
280
00:13:25,453 --> 00:13:27,504
So if you're in trouble
and you can't see a way out,
281
00:13:27,666 --> 00:13:30,944
call Permacash,
the last loan you'll ev...
282
00:13:59,300 --> 00:14:01,202
Oh, my bad, sorry.
283
00:14:01,296 --> 00:14:02,383
It seems the years
284
00:14:02,468 --> 00:14:05,101
have not relieved
me of my catlike stealth.
285
00:14:06,641 --> 00:14:09,493
- If you came here to beg me...
- Beg you?
286
00:14:09,577 --> 00:14:10,861
I'm not even
asking you anything.
287
00:14:10,945 --> 00:14:12,680
I mean, work-related, that is.
288
00:14:12,765 --> 00:14:14,965
Jules,
I'm just here as your friend.
289
00:14:15,049 --> 00:14:17,701
- Friend?
- Yeah.
290
00:14:17,785 --> 00:14:20,508
Whenever I need you,
you're always running
291
00:14:20,593 --> 00:14:22,288
in the opposite direction.
292
00:14:23,784 --> 00:14:27,069
No comment?
What the hell was that?
293
00:14:27,468 --> 00:14:29,294
A man had just exploded,
okay?
294
00:14:29,379 --> 00:14:32,448
For the first time in my life,
I was at a loss for words,
295
00:14:32,533 --> 00:14:35,397
and I tried calling you
for months after that.
296
00:14:35,482 --> 00:14:37,701
I don't take calls
from spineless traitors.
297
00:14:38,039 --> 00:14:39,774
I didn't think you needed me
to back you up, Jules.
298
00:14:39,858 --> 00:14:43,413
I mean, after all, you had
George Brett, now, didn't you?
299
00:14:43,498 --> 00:14:45,495
Our marriage was already
falling apart.
300
00:14:45,580 --> 00:14:48,098
He was very judgmental about
the drinking and the drugs.
301
00:14:48,182 --> 00:14:49,546
Plus, he played a lot of golf...
302
00:14:49,631 --> 00:14:52,069
I mean, a lot of golf,
like, a lot.
303
00:14:53,221 --> 00:14:54,757
A lot, Jim.
304
00:14:54,842 --> 00:14:56,105
I don't understand
what's happening.
305
00:14:56,189 --> 00:14:58,007
Are you using golf
as a euphemism?
306
00:14:58,193 --> 00:14:59,929
- No, he played a lot of golf.
- Oh.
307
00:15:00,014 --> 00:15:01,937
He bought bathroom humor
books about golf
308
00:15:02,022 --> 00:15:05,046
and crocheted head
covers for his driver.
309
00:15:05,131 --> 00:15:06,954
He once stopped in the middle
of fucking me to talk
310
00:15:07,038 --> 00:15:08,685
about meeting Brandt Snedeker.
311
00:15:08,770 --> 00:15:10,148
Okay, that sounds like
a lot of golf.
312
00:15:10,232 --> 00:15:13,319
My disgracing baseball
was the final straw for him.
313
00:15:13,428 --> 00:15:15,344
It's just not fair.
You shot yourself
314
00:15:15,429 --> 00:15:18,647
on the national stage way
more times than I ever did.
315
00:15:18,846 --> 00:15:20,953
Why'd you get
five second chances,
316
00:15:21,038 --> 00:15:22,366
and I didn't even get one?
317
00:15:22,450 --> 00:15:24,078
Probably
'cause you're a woman, Jules.
318
00:15:24,163 --> 00:15:26,718
That and people have a hard
time letting go of getting
319
00:15:26,827 --> 00:15:29,106
gallaghered with human flesh,
but you know what?
320
00:15:29,190 --> 00:15:31,266
You don't need five chances.
You just need the one,
321
00:15:31,351 --> 00:15:33,382
and I am here
to give it to you, okay?
322
00:15:33,476 --> 00:15:36,914
I'm here to take you out
of Morristown for your health
323
00:15:36,998 --> 00:15:38,078
and for your safety.
324
00:15:38,163 --> 00:15:40,205
Please just come
with me right now.
325
00:15:40,290 --> 00:15:42,459
I'll take you anywhere
you want to go.
326
00:15:43,808 --> 00:15:45,059
I'm not done here.
327
00:15:45,206 --> 00:15:48,392
Morristown can still rebound.
328
00:15:48,476 --> 00:15:50,194
Are you out of your mind?
Rebound?
329
00:15:50,278 --> 00:15:53,397
It's over.
My God, it was over years ago.
330
00:15:53,481 --> 00:15:55,632
You have to know
when to walk away.
331
00:15:55,716 --> 00:15:58,226
There's life after Morristown.
332
00:16:01,689 --> 00:16:03,687
All right,
the two singles for you,
333
00:16:03,772 --> 00:16:05,116
the double for me, huh?
334
00:16:05,201 --> 00:16:06,569
A win is a win.
335
00:16:06,654 --> 00:16:07,945
I don't care how ugly it is.
336
00:16:08,030 --> 00:16:09,327
It still counts, huh?
337
00:16:09,412 --> 00:16:13,812
- Dad, a word?
- Mm-hmm.
338
00:16:13,897 --> 00:16:15,115
Take a seat.
339
00:16:15,200 --> 00:16:16,862
Well, I'm behind the bar,
sweetheart.
340
00:16:16,947 --> 00:16:18,939
There are no stools here.
What's happening, Jules?
341
00:16:19,035 --> 00:16:21,510
This is the hardest part
about being a daughter,
342
00:16:21,595 --> 00:16:24,822
but it is time
for you to quit baseball.
343
00:16:24,907 --> 00:16:25,958
What?
344
00:16:26,147 --> 00:16:28,001
You just don't
have it anymore.
345
00:16:28,086 --> 00:16:30,671
What are you talking about?
I doubled today.
346
00:16:30,756 --> 00:16:32,735
Yeah, and you barely
caught up
347
00:16:32,820 --> 00:16:34,276
to an 80-mile-an-hour fastball,
348
00:16:34,361 --> 00:16:35,872
which you blooped
into the right field,
349
00:16:35,956 --> 00:16:37,572
where their guy
lost it in the sun.
350
00:16:37,657 --> 00:16:40,065
But a hit is a hit.
Am I right?
351
00:16:40,150 --> 00:16:41,947
Yeah!
352
00:16:42,032 --> 00:16:44,431
A hit that ended
your 0 for 39.
353
00:16:46,574 --> 00:16:49,493
But on the bright side,
you're batting 1,000
354
00:16:49,578 --> 00:16:50,795
at being a dad right now,
355
00:16:50,880 --> 00:16:52,633
and that's where you should
focus your attention,
356
00:16:52,717 --> 00:16:54,801
but as far as baseball goes,
357
00:16:54,975 --> 00:16:57,212
it's over, Dad,
and you know it is.
358
00:16:57,298 --> 00:17:01,228
You've got to walk away.
There's life after baseball.
359
00:17:01,758 --> 00:17:03,611
Ohh...
360
00:17:07,543 --> 00:17:09,460
Well...
361
00:17:09,659 --> 00:17:13,012
it looks like this
is a retirement party!
362
00:17:13,183 --> 00:17:15,034
I'm hanging up the cleats.
363
00:17:15,119 --> 00:17:16,537
Drinks are on me!
364
00:17:22,771 --> 00:17:26,024
Carol, are those my pipes?
365
00:17:26,178 --> 00:17:27,976
I realized you were right.
366
00:17:29,081 --> 00:17:30,960
It's not gonna be fine.
367
00:17:31,512 --> 00:17:34,064
I figure if I give
the Copperheads an offering,
368
00:17:34,148 --> 00:17:35,929
they might jump me in.
369
00:17:36,350 --> 00:17:40,507
Oh, and I also found
your other gun.
370
00:17:44,358 --> 00:17:48,632
Sloppy bitches get stitches.
371
00:17:56,201 --> 00:17:57,898
I'm ready to go now.
372
00:18:01,942 --> 00:18:04,961
Who is the toothless woman
who just held us hostage?
373
00:18:11,359 --> 00:18:13,836
- Fantasy.
- Fantasy.
374
00:18:14,188 --> 00:18:16,473
- Desire.
- Desire.
375
00:18:16,557 --> 00:18:19,009
- Lust.
- Lust.
376
00:18:19,093 --> 00:18:21,311
- You're a man.
- You're a woman.
377
00:18:21,395 --> 00:18:24,214
With needs,
so slip into a realm
378
00:18:24,298 --> 00:18:29,252
where your fantasies, desires,
and lusts all become reality.
379
00:18:29,336 --> 00:18:32,289
Mr. Magorium's
Masturbatorium.
380
00:18:32,373 --> 00:18:34,891
Once you step into your
pleasure pod,
381
00:18:34,975 --> 00:18:37,461
you're in Mr. Magorium's world.
382
00:18:37,586 --> 00:18:40,664
Take the journey to
Mr. Magorium's Masturbatorium.
383
00:18:40,748 --> 00:18:43,743
Once you're in his world,
you won't want to leave.
384
00:18:43,828 --> 00:18:48,461
We'll hate to see you go,
but we love to watch you come.
30094
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