Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:31,838 --> 00:00:32,959
- When you hear the
first computer,
2
00:00:32,960 --> 00:00:34,018
fax machine, female lawyer.
3
00:00:34,019 --> 00:00:36,523
Where do you think
they're all from?
4
00:00:37,902 --> 00:00:39,389
The Silicon valley?
5
00:00:39,390 --> 00:00:41,099
Perhaps even New York.
6
00:00:41,100 --> 00:00:43,373
No, this is Iowa.
7
00:00:44,360 --> 00:00:46,949
Home of the only division
1A football stadium
8
00:00:46,950 --> 00:00:49,240
named after an
African-American, Jack Trice.
9
00:00:49,241 --> 00:00:53,129
Who attended Iowa State
University in the 20s.
10
00:00:53,130 --> 00:00:56,009
He was the second
African-American competing
11
00:00:56,010 --> 00:00:58,698
in college football at
a major university.
12
00:00:58,699 --> 00:01:00,539
Who's the first?
13
00:01:00,540 --> 00:01:02,369
Frank Holbrook, who
played for the.
14
00:01:02,370 --> 00:01:04,763
University of Iowa
a decade earlier.
15
00:01:05,758 --> 00:01:07,679
During the Civil War,
16
00:01:07,680 --> 00:01:11,455
76,534 lowans served
in The Union.
17
00:01:11,456 --> 00:01:15,029
No other state had a
higher percentage
18
00:01:15,030 --> 00:01:16,603
of its male population serve.
19
00:01:18,019 --> 00:01:20,623
This is Waterloo.
20
00:01:21,590 --> 00:01:24,509
Waterloo, Iowa.
21
00:01:24,510 --> 00:01:28,033
This city, with the greatest
tractors ever made.
22
00:01:29,072 --> 00:01:32,139
This is East High.
23
00:01:32,140 --> 00:01:34,459
Record for the longest
football winning streak
24
00:01:34,460 --> 00:01:35,460
in the state.
25
00:01:36,979 --> 00:01:37,812
Strangely enough, the record
26
00:01:37,813 --> 00:01:39,517
for the longest
losing streak, too.
27
00:01:39,518 --> 00:01:40,957
But whatever.
28
00:01:40,958 --> 00:01:43,939
Hey, Cedar Falls, suck
my dick from behind
29
00:01:43,940 --> 00:01:46,209
for pointing that out
in the first movie.
30
00:01:46,210 --> 00:01:48,539
Waterloo West High.
31
00:01:48,540 --> 00:01:50,349
The high school of the
greatest wrestler
32
00:01:50,350 --> 00:01:53,069
of all time, Dan Gable.
33
00:01:53,070 --> 00:01:55,299
Waterloo is the home
of the greatest
34
00:01:55,300 --> 00:01:58,898
American Navy family,
the Sullivans.
35
00:01:58,899 --> 00:02:02,639
The Sullivan brothers all
died on the same ship
36
00:02:02,640 --> 00:02:05,800
in the South Pacific
during World War II.
37
00:02:05,801 --> 00:02:08,399
This is a story that
inspired the movie,
38
00:02:08,400 --> 00:02:09,653
Saving Private Ryan.
39
00:02:11,100 --> 00:02:13,359
But my town of Waterloo,
40
00:02:13,360 --> 00:02:15,176
that's where you're gonna get
41
00:02:15,177 --> 00:02:16,889
the real American Experience.
42
00:02:16,890 --> 00:02:18,514
A large glass of scotch,
43
00:02:18,515 --> 00:02:20,157
plenty of great food,
44
00:02:20,158 --> 00:02:22,103
and genuine conversation.
45
00:02:49,756 --> 00:02:51,019
- American Pie was awesome.
46
00:02:51,020 --> 00:02:53,655
- I can't believe the kid
from Rookie of the Year
47
00:02:53,656 --> 00:02:55,335
got Tara Reid.
48
00:02:55,336 --> 00:02:57,560
- Harold was not aware of this.
49
00:02:57,561 --> 00:02:59,629
Who was the kid from
Rookie of the Year?
50
00:02:59,630 --> 00:03:02,449
- Thomas Ian Nicholas,
if I ever meet him,
51
00:03:02,450 --> 00:03:04,839
I'm gonna tell him The
Floater was shit.
52
00:03:04,840 --> 00:03:06,200
- Tara Reid is hot.
53
00:03:06,201 --> 00:03:07,892
- I like the part where the dude
54
00:03:07,893 --> 00:03:09,869
put his dick in the pie.
55
00:03:09,870 --> 00:03:11,349
- How do you know he's Jewish?
56
00:03:11,350 --> 00:03:15,816
- Because his dad is
Eugene Levy, Jew.
57
00:03:15,817 --> 00:03:18,248
- You come off so antisemitic.
58
00:03:18,249 --> 00:03:20,559
You need to work on that.
59
00:03:20,560 --> 00:03:22,877
- The intern Clinton
nailed was a Jew.
60
00:03:22,878 --> 00:03:25,037
- You know, in 20 years,
61
00:03:25,038 --> 00:03:28,439
our presidents, they'll
be married to models
62
00:03:28,440 --> 00:03:30,296
and plowing porn stars.
63
00:03:30,297 --> 00:03:32,760
- You Neanderthals.
64
00:03:32,761 --> 00:03:35,529
- Since your parents divorced,
65
00:03:35,530 --> 00:03:38,200
your weekends with your
dad have been great.
66
00:03:38,201 --> 00:03:39,719
- Thank you Father,
67
00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:42,069
for allowing us to
watch R rated movies.
68
00:03:42,070 --> 00:03:44,049
- Pisses Mom off,
which is funny.
69
00:03:44,050 --> 00:03:47,119
- I prefer American
Beauty over American Pie.
70
00:03:47,120 --> 00:03:48,989
It will win an Oscar.
71
00:03:48,990 --> 00:03:51,529
- I would rather see
a Jew screw a pie
72
00:03:51,530 --> 00:03:54,329
over a plastic bag
in the wind any day.
73
00:03:54,330 --> 00:03:55,789
- Dad keeps asking
me how many times
74
00:03:55,790 --> 00:03:57,059
the new boyfriend comes,
75
00:03:57,060 --> 00:03:58,719
comes about three times a week.
76
00:03:58,720 --> 00:04:01,459
Mom comes about seven or eight.
77
00:04:01,460 --> 00:04:02,699
Quit being such a fag, Dad.
78
00:04:02,700 --> 00:04:03,719
Move on, get a chick,
79
00:04:03,720 --> 00:04:05,569
sell some more Saturns
or something.
80
00:04:05,570 --> 00:04:08,052
- If you ever need to
talk about your feelings,
81
00:04:08,053 --> 00:04:11,778
after the divorce, Harold
is a good listener.
82
00:04:11,779 --> 00:04:13,549
- Feelings?
83
00:04:13,550 --> 00:04:15,517
I have two Christmases
now, you cock munchers.
84
00:04:15,518 --> 00:04:17,689
- Hey, where's Taylor?
85
00:04:17,690 --> 00:04:20,029
- He's hanging with
his girl he met.
86
00:04:20,030 --> 00:04:21,539
She's here for the summer.
87
00:04:21,540 --> 00:04:22,722
- What is this, Grease?
88
00:04:22,723 --> 00:04:25,973
♪ Those summer, nights ♪
89
00:04:28,440 --> 00:04:29,856
- I prefer Grease 2.
90
00:04:29,857 --> 00:04:31,279
Much better movie.
91
00:04:31,280 --> 00:04:33,319
Musical scenes, way better.
92
00:04:33,320 --> 00:04:35,799
Best bowling scene
in film history.
93
00:04:35,800 --> 00:04:37,847
- Taylor would sell
out his buddies
94
00:04:37,848 --> 00:04:39,360
for a chick any day.
95
00:04:39,361 --> 00:04:40,194
Pervert, Dee tried to tell him
96
00:04:40,195 --> 00:04:41,619
to keep his hands to himself.
97
00:04:41,620 --> 00:04:43,740
- I will wait for the
right girlfriend.
98
00:04:43,741 --> 00:04:45,749
Harold is classy.
99
00:04:45,750 --> 00:04:48,529
I want a lady with
that same standard.
100
00:04:48,530 --> 00:04:49,530
- Fag.
101
00:04:54,200 --> 00:04:55,278
- No way Richard Gere's going
102
00:04:55,279 --> 00:04:56,575
to rescue you if
you're a hooker.
103
00:04:56,576 --> 00:04:57,769
- Yeah, I guess he did
make out with her.
104
00:04:57,770 --> 00:04:59,780
You don't kiss a
hooker on the mouth.
105
00:04:59,781 --> 00:05:01,020
- No.
106
00:05:01,021 --> 00:05:02,038
- They'll bite off the
tip of your tongue.
107
00:05:02,039 --> 00:05:03,041
- They'll bite right on.
108
00:05:03,042 --> 00:05:04,060
- Like that shame on guy.
109
00:05:04,061 --> 00:05:04,894
- Wait, Sham-Wow guy.
110
00:05:04,895 --> 00:05:05,959
- You know the guy
from the infomercial
111
00:05:05,960 --> 00:05:06,840
with the shammy.
112
00:05:06,841 --> 00:05:08,060
- Yeah.
113
00:05:08,061 --> 00:05:08,894
He made out with a hooker.
114
00:05:08,895 --> 00:05:10,319
And she bit off the
tip of his tongue.
115
00:05:10,320 --> 00:05:11,153
- Holy shit!
116
00:05:11,154 --> 00:05:12,598
- Bit it right off.
117
00:05:12,599 --> 00:05:14,269
You don't kiss a
hooker on the mouth.
118
00:05:14,270 --> 00:05:15,103
- No shit.
119
00:05:15,104 --> 00:05:16,149
And Richard Gere gives her money
120
00:05:16,150 --> 00:05:17,804
to go shopping?
121
00:05:17,805 --> 00:05:18,979
- No, no.
122
00:05:18,980 --> 00:05:20,539
- He would've taken
her in an alley,
123
00:05:20,540 --> 00:05:22,146
bent her over a
dumpster, and said,
124
00:05:22,147 --> 00:05:23,541
"yeah, take that pig!"
125
00:05:23,542 --> 00:05:25,809
- Now that's a movie
I would totally
126
00:05:25,810 --> 00:05:27,599
go, I would pay
money to see that.
127
00:05:27,600 --> 00:05:29,499
- Yeah, you we think
we're above men
128
00:05:29,500 --> 00:05:31,609
in this area, but we
are just as depraved.
129
00:05:31,610 --> 00:05:32,443
How many copies
130
00:05:32,444 --> 00:05:33,783
of Fifty Shades of
Gray were sold?
131
00:05:33,784 --> 00:05:35,564
Three blockbuster films.
132
00:05:35,565 --> 00:05:36,398
- Oh, my God.
133
00:05:36,399 --> 00:05:39,679
Honestly, I mean, I'd
rather see that rich guy
134
00:05:39,680 --> 00:05:41,162
work over that chick,
135
00:05:41,163 --> 00:05:43,342
than watch the fucking Notebook.
136
00:05:43,343 --> 00:05:45,985
- I would rather have
my Catholic grandmother
137
00:05:45,986 --> 00:05:48,569
catch me watching hardcore
138
00:05:48,570 --> 00:05:49,622
gay porn
139
00:05:49,623 --> 00:05:51,549
than to watch the
fucking Notebook.
140
00:05:51,550 --> 00:05:53,619
- Gay porn is the best, though.
141
00:05:53,620 --> 00:05:55,004
That's a real romance movie.
142
00:05:55,005 --> 00:05:57,619
- Well, no, watching some twink
143
00:05:57,620 --> 00:06:00,023
get turned out by a
couple of hairy bears,
144
00:06:00,024 --> 00:06:01,339
hot.
145
00:06:01,340 --> 00:06:03,083
- Yeah, take that pig.
146
00:06:04,980 --> 00:06:05,813
- Hey, where's Tanner?
147
00:06:05,814 --> 00:06:07,039
- I don't know, man.
148
00:06:07,040 --> 00:06:08,469
I don't think his fiance
149
00:06:08,470 --> 00:06:10,019
likes him hanging out with me.
150
00:06:10,020 --> 00:06:10,853
- Why?
151
00:06:10,854 --> 00:06:12,609
- She treats me like I'm
from Marshal Town, man.
152
00:06:12,610 --> 00:06:15,287
I'm gonna take him out
to the Tiger's Den.
153
00:06:15,288 --> 00:06:17,769
He's gonna get hopped
up on crystal meth,
154
00:06:17,770 --> 00:06:19,403
take a swing at a stripper.
155
00:06:19,404 --> 00:06:21,979
- Well, she did have to
pick you guys up last week
156
00:06:21,980 --> 00:06:23,079
at four in the morning.
157
00:06:23,080 --> 00:06:24,010
- It's different man.
158
00:06:24,011 --> 00:06:27,723
Dave's stash makes some
killer Vegas bombs.
159
00:06:29,120 --> 00:06:30,030
Look at you man.
160
00:06:30,031 --> 00:06:31,589
Maybe you're the issue.
161
00:06:31,590 --> 00:06:33,619
Maybe he can't come
here because of you.
162
00:06:33,620 --> 00:06:35,203
You look like
163
00:06:35,204 --> 00:06:37,859
the devil wears Tommy Bahama.
164
00:06:37,860 --> 00:06:39,429
- Hey bro,
165
00:06:39,430 --> 00:06:40,529
this shit gets me
anything I want.
166
00:06:40,530 --> 00:06:43,480
And you're no peach
yourself either.
167
00:06:43,481 --> 00:06:45,139
- I know.
168
00:06:45,140 --> 00:06:47,123
A grown man wearing
Justin Bieber jacket.
169
00:06:47,124 --> 00:06:49,089
Maybe she's a little bit right.
170
00:06:49,090 --> 00:06:50,199
But still, fuck her.
171
00:06:50,200 --> 00:06:51,200
- Dude,
172
00:06:51,950 --> 00:06:53,329
you tell him to tell her
173
00:06:53,330 --> 00:06:54,639
he's at the real library.
174
00:06:54,640 --> 00:06:56,062
- That's what I'm thinking.
175
00:06:56,063 --> 00:06:58,029
Maybe you she'll
176
00:06:58,030 --> 00:06:59,639
wind up allowing
him to come out.
177
00:06:59,640 --> 00:07:01,400
Maybe he's gonna go
and say he's gonna
178
00:07:01,401 --> 00:07:02,234
I don't know,
179
00:07:02,235 --> 00:07:03,936
get like a boxcar kids
180
00:07:03,937 --> 00:07:06,462
novel, or Sweet Valley High.
181
00:07:06,463 --> 00:07:09,899
Hey, have we had this
conversation before?
182
00:07:09,900 --> 00:07:11,439
- Matt,
183
00:07:11,440 --> 00:07:12,819
we have this conversation
184
00:07:12,820 --> 00:07:13,670
every time.
185
00:07:13,671 --> 00:07:14,961
- Tanner's fiance's a bitch.
186
00:07:14,962 --> 00:07:17,089
- Major bitch.
187
00:07:17,090 --> 00:07:18,679
She's says that Tanner can't
come down here anymore
188
00:07:18,680 --> 00:07:20,219
because she doesn't want
him hanging around.
189
00:07:20,220 --> 00:07:21,210
Mr. Lance.
190
00:07:21,211 --> 00:07:23,843
- Oh, she said Jeff
Lance is a misogynist.
191
00:07:25,140 --> 00:07:25,973
- What a dumb clam.
192
00:07:25,974 --> 00:07:27,523
I don't even know gymnastics.
193
00:07:28,357 --> 00:07:29,190
- No, dude.
194
00:07:29,191 --> 00:07:30,659
That's a contortionist.
195
00:07:30,660 --> 00:07:32,419
- What the hell's a misogynist?
196
00:07:32,420 --> 00:07:34,219
- It's a man who's
prejudice against women,
197
00:07:34,220 --> 00:07:35,639
thinks that they're inferior.
198
00:07:35,640 --> 00:07:36,473
- Doesn't she know
199
00:07:36,474 --> 00:07:37,938
that I'm Jeff Lance?
200
00:07:37,939 --> 00:07:39,459
I love women.
201
00:07:39,460 --> 00:07:40,659
- That's right man.
202
00:07:40,660 --> 00:07:43,419
You love women.
203
00:07:43,420 --> 00:07:45,123
You're Jeff Lance.
204
00:07:45,124 --> 00:07:48,009
You don't treat women
like an object.
205
00:07:48,010 --> 00:07:50,539
They treat you like an object.
206
00:07:50,540 --> 00:07:51,579
- I know.
207
00:07:51,580 --> 00:07:52,959
I'm actually sensitive.
208
00:07:52,960 --> 00:07:54,179
I have feelings.
209
00:07:54,180 --> 00:07:55,722
I want to be held
and listened to
210
00:07:55,723 --> 00:07:57,083
like a puppy.
211
00:07:58,580 --> 00:07:59,580
- You know what,
212
00:08:01,380 --> 00:08:02,213
I'm gonna text Tanner,
213
00:08:02,213 --> 00:08:03,213
tell him
214
00:08:03,920 --> 00:08:05,189
hey,
215
00:08:05,190 --> 00:08:07,349
tell your fiance
216
00:08:07,350 --> 00:08:08,680
that Jeff says
217
00:08:08,681 --> 00:08:12,339
misogynists is an
awfully big word
218
00:08:12,340 --> 00:08:14,689
for such a little girl.
219
00:08:14,690 --> 00:08:15,993
And send.
220
00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:19,529
- Dude, that's something
a misogynist would say.
221
00:08:19,530 --> 00:08:21,149
- Exactly.
222
00:08:21,150 --> 00:08:22,360
- Funny, bro.
223
00:08:23,211 --> 00:08:24,862
- Don't worry about it.
224
00:08:24,863 --> 00:08:25,696
She doesn't it to everyone.
225
00:08:25,697 --> 00:08:27,479
- Yeah, she calls
everyone sexist,
226
00:08:27,480 --> 00:08:28,400
racist,
227
00:08:28,401 --> 00:08:29,459
homophobe.
228
00:08:29,460 --> 00:08:30,929
You name it.
229
00:08:30,930 --> 00:08:32,803
- Small minds do
it all the time.
230
00:08:32,804 --> 00:08:34,379
Sexist.
231
00:08:34,380 --> 00:08:35,213
Homophobe.
232
00:08:35,214 --> 00:08:36,429
Racist.
233
00:08:36,430 --> 00:08:38,178
Vocal trump cards
for the idiots.
234
00:08:38,179 --> 00:08:40,622
- You are a little
antisemitic at times.
235
00:08:40,623 --> 00:08:42,439
- Don't worry, Matt,
236
00:08:42,440 --> 00:08:44,433
the Jews will not replace you.
237
00:08:46,720 --> 00:08:47,720
- Hey.
238
00:08:48,739 --> 00:08:50,759
Got a text from Tanner.
239
00:08:50,760 --> 00:08:53,194
His fiance says she
will let us come over,
240
00:08:53,195 --> 00:08:55,089
but for just one drink.
241
00:08:55,090 --> 00:08:58,149
And we have to have
it in the driveway.
242
00:08:58,150 --> 00:08:59,219
- In the driveway?
243
00:08:59,220 --> 00:09:00,839
It's like on King of the Hill,
244
00:09:00,840 --> 00:09:02,061
Dammit Bobby.
245
00:09:02,062 --> 00:09:04,200
The Fiance is such a bitch.
246
00:09:04,201 --> 00:09:06,637
- Yeah man, I don't
know what you mean man.
247
00:09:09,440 --> 00:09:10,637
You know what, fuck it.
248
00:09:10,638 --> 00:09:11,471
Let's have shots.
249
00:09:11,472 --> 00:09:12,675
- Shots.
250
00:09:12,676 --> 00:09:13,676
- Shots.
251
00:09:18,800 --> 00:09:21,089
You ever know about Toby Huss?
252
00:09:21,090 --> 00:09:22,333
Actor from Marshalltown?
253
00:09:23,270 --> 00:09:24,879
Played the voices of Kahn
254
00:09:24,880 --> 00:09:26,253
and Grampaw Hill.
255
00:09:27,740 --> 00:09:28,939
So anyway,
256
00:09:28,940 --> 00:09:29,910
he was up for the part
257
00:09:29,911 --> 00:09:32,317
of Mr. Miyagi,
258
00:09:32,318 --> 00:09:34,559
and he showed up to
the first audition
259
00:09:34,560 --> 00:09:36,919
piss drunk and did
the most racist,
260
00:09:36,920 --> 00:09:39,049
asian voice he possibly could,
261
00:09:39,050 --> 00:09:41,114
and got brought back for
the second audition.
262
00:09:41,115 --> 00:09:43,149
In his second audition,
263
00:09:43,150 --> 00:09:44,760
he came in sober,
264
00:09:44,761 --> 00:09:46,397
lost the part.
265
00:09:46,398 --> 00:09:48,499
- So dude, where you headed?
266
00:09:48,500 --> 00:09:49,333
Waterloo?
267
00:09:49,334 --> 00:09:50,739
- Sierra Falls.
268
00:09:50,740 --> 00:09:52,018
I'm fucking with you.
269
00:10:04,419 --> 00:10:06,360
♪ The hate you
fought for reason ♪
270
00:10:06,361 --> 00:10:09,298
♪ Found out your faults ♪
271
00:10:09,299 --> 00:10:10,440
♪ Hide behind ♪
272
00:10:10,441 --> 00:10:14,818
♪ The picture perfect lights ♪
273
00:10:14,819 --> 00:10:17,637
♪ The times you in the corner ♪
274
00:10:17,638 --> 00:10:19,197
♪ Dusting for fingerprints ♪
275
00:10:19,198 --> 00:10:20,738
♪ From cages painted pretty ♪
276
00:10:20,739 --> 00:10:24,781
♪ Pictures of your sins ♪
277
00:10:24,782 --> 00:10:27,896
♪ Give me ig-ig-ignorance ♪
278
00:10:27,897 --> 00:10:30,416
♪ Give what you can give ♪
279
00:10:30,417 --> 00:10:32,498
♪ Ig-Ig-Ignorance ♪
280
00:10:32,499 --> 00:10:34,178
♪ Hit them with ♪
281
00:10:34,179 --> 00:10:35,273
♪ What to give ♪
282
00:10:35,274 --> 00:10:36,896
♪ Alright ♪
283
00:10:56,398 --> 00:10:58,477
♪ Put on-on-on the table ♪
284
00:10:58,478 --> 00:11:01,138
♪ Watch for shifty eyes ♪
285
00:11:01,139 --> 00:11:02,680
♪ Serving cold revenge ♪
286
00:11:02,681 --> 00:11:06,850
♪ With the side of spite ♪
287
00:11:06,851 --> 00:11:08,972
♪ Satisfaction don't come easy ♪
288
00:11:08,973 --> 00:11:11,532
♪ But to take it all with ease ♪
289
00:11:11,533 --> 00:11:13,330
♪ With our guests, them guests ♪
290
00:11:13,331 --> 00:11:17,170
♪ I'll just better leave ♪
291
00:11:17,171 --> 00:11:19,948
♪ Give me ig-ig-ignorance ♪
292
00:11:19,949 --> 00:11:22,551
♪ Give what you can give ♪
293
00:11:22,552 --> 00:11:25,212
♪ Ig-Ig-Ignorance ♪
294
00:11:25,213 --> 00:11:26,627
♪ Hit them with ♪
295
00:11:26,628 --> 00:11:27,650
♪ What they give ♪
296
00:11:27,651 --> 00:11:29,148
♪ Alright ♪
297
00:11:29,149 --> 00:11:30,652
♪ Ignorance ♪
298
00:11:30,653 --> 00:11:34,370
♪ Hit them with ♪
299
00:11:34,371 --> 00:11:37,121
♪ What they give ♪
300
00:11:38,500 --> 00:11:39,849
- Pro-wrestling was a staple
301
00:11:39,850 --> 00:11:42,039
in every kid's lives
at some point.
302
00:11:42,040 --> 00:11:43,319
There's three
303
00:11:43,320 --> 00:11:44,170
prestigious
304
00:11:44,171 --> 00:11:46,859
pro-wrestling hall of
fame's in America.
305
00:11:46,860 --> 00:11:48,311
Cauliflower Alley Club,
306
00:11:48,312 --> 00:11:50,108
WWE,
307
00:11:50,109 --> 00:11:51,419
George Tragos,
308
00:11:51,420 --> 00:11:53,659
Lou Thesz Pro Wrestling
Hall of Fame.
309
00:11:53,660 --> 00:11:55,179
That one is held here
310
00:11:55,180 --> 00:11:56,413
in Waterloo, Iowa.
311
00:11:58,290 --> 00:11:59,123
Former inductees are,
312
00:11:59,124 --> 00:12:00,619
Mick Foley,
313
00:12:00,620 --> 00:12:01,819
Edge,
314
00:12:01,820 --> 00:12:03,169
Kurt Angle,
315
00:12:03,170 --> 00:12:04,829
Iron Sheik,
316
00:12:04,830 --> 00:12:06,249
Jim Ross,
317
00:12:06,250 --> 00:12:07,689
Terry Funk,
318
00:12:07,690 --> 00:12:09,969
Rowdy Rowdy Piper.
319
00:12:09,970 --> 00:12:12,485
The Million Dollar
Man, Ted Dibiase,
320
00:12:12,486 --> 00:12:14,749
the excellence of execution,
321
00:12:14,750 --> 00:12:16,023
Bret "The Hitman" Hart,
322
00:12:16,860 --> 00:12:18,059
and even the governor,
323
00:12:18,060 --> 00:12:19,683
Jesse "The Body" Ventura.
324
00:12:20,626 --> 00:12:21,759
But the one,
325
00:12:21,760 --> 00:12:23,829
the one that always stuck
with me and my friends,
326
00:12:23,830 --> 00:12:24,663
the man,
327
00:12:24,664 --> 00:12:25,969
spent more money
328
00:12:25,970 --> 00:12:27,629
on spilled liqueur
329
00:12:27,630 --> 00:12:29,939
from all ends of the
world in one year
330
00:12:29,940 --> 00:12:32,329
that you'll ever
make in a lifetime.
331
00:12:32,330 --> 00:12:34,287
I'm talking about
the kiss stealing,
332
00:12:34,288 --> 00:12:35,889
the wheeling, dealing,
333
00:12:35,890 --> 00:12:37,627
Rolex wearing,
334
00:12:37,628 --> 00:12:39,849
limonene riding,
335
00:12:39,850 --> 00:12:42,233
jet flying son of a gun,
336
00:12:43,510 --> 00:12:45,039
the nature boy,
337
00:12:45,040 --> 00:12:46,040
limonene Flair.
338
00:12:47,050 --> 00:12:48,050
Woo.
339
00:12:51,986 --> 00:12:53,007
- I was in there
340
00:12:53,008 --> 00:12:53,841
cause I'm loud in there,
341
00:12:53,842 --> 00:12:55,766
and I saw you out here
just bumming around.
342
00:13:03,090 --> 00:13:04,569
I landed you a ticket.
343
00:13:04,570 --> 00:13:05,825
- Dude.
344
00:13:05,826 --> 00:13:07,526
When the fuck did you
become a pro-wrestler?
345
00:13:07,527 --> 00:13:08,669
- Since 2010.
346
00:13:08,670 --> 00:13:10,326
You know that.
347
00:13:10,327 --> 00:13:11,649
Dipshit.
348
00:13:11,650 --> 00:13:12,705
- Jesus Christ.
349
00:13:12,706 --> 00:13:13,728
That's awesome.
350
00:13:13,729 --> 00:13:15,099
- Yeah, you can get one $20.
351
00:13:15,100 --> 00:13:16,449
No, you know what,
352
00:13:16,450 --> 00:13:17,447
friends and family discount,
353
00:13:17,447 --> 00:13:18,280
30.
354
00:13:18,281 --> 00:13:19,669
Yeah.
355
00:13:19,670 --> 00:13:20,869
- Fucking A.
356
00:13:20,870 --> 00:13:21,730
- Drinks after?
357
00:13:21,731 --> 00:13:22,830
- Drinks after.
358
00:13:42,450 --> 00:13:44,529
- Our boy, Frisco.
359
00:13:44,530 --> 00:13:46,129
And the monster,
360
00:13:46,130 --> 00:13:47,130
Malice.
361
00:14:00,128 --> 00:14:01,127
Wrestling fans,
362
00:14:01,127 --> 00:14:02,127
our winners.
363
00:14:03,490 --> 00:14:05,907
Wrestling tag team champions,
364
00:14:06,908 --> 00:14:08,864
the team of,
365
00:14:08,865 --> 00:14:09,865
and Malice.
366
00:14:31,426 --> 00:14:33,766
♪ I was pouring myself
a stiff drink ♪
367
00:14:33,767 --> 00:14:35,867
♪ At Christmas ♪
368
00:14:35,868 --> 00:14:37,846
♪ Eve ♪
369
00:14:37,847 --> 00:14:40,667
♪ You was looking at me ♪
370
00:14:40,668 --> 00:14:42,423
♪ Like I should ♪
371
00:14:42,424 --> 00:14:45,425
♪ Go ♪
372
00:14:45,426 --> 00:14:47,867
♪ You think by now when see ♪
373
00:14:47,868 --> 00:14:50,187
♪ That bottle ♪
374
00:14:50,188 --> 00:14:52,587
♪ You should know ♪
375
00:14:52,588 --> 00:14:55,627
♪ We're not walking sideways ♪
376
00:14:55,628 --> 00:15:00,628
♪ I ain't trying to
steal the show ♪
377
00:15:02,370 --> 00:15:04,049
♪ Where I drink ♪
378
00:15:04,050 --> 00:15:05,745
♪ So I drank ♪
379
00:15:05,746 --> 00:15:08,129
♪ Now I'm drunk ♪
380
00:15:08,130 --> 00:15:10,065
♪ Bottoms up ♪
381
00:15:10,066 --> 00:15:11,729
♪ Well I drink ♪
382
00:15:11,730 --> 00:15:13,547
♪ So I drank ♪
383
00:15:13,548 --> 00:15:14,865
♪ Now I'm drunk ♪
384
00:15:14,866 --> 00:15:17,707
♪ Bottoms up ♪
385
00:15:17,708 --> 00:15:21,206
♪ I was watching the
game at the bar ♪
386
00:15:21,207 --> 00:15:23,345
♪ Last Monday ♪
387
00:15:23,346 --> 00:15:24,999
♪ Night ♪
388
00:15:25,000 --> 00:15:26,209
- Guys, how was it?
389
00:15:26,210 --> 00:15:27,947
- Better than Bros.
390
00:15:27,948 --> 00:15:30,264
♪ It was time to ♪
391
00:15:30,265 --> 00:15:32,849
♪ Go ♪
392
00:15:32,850 --> 00:15:34,086
♪ But my friends are here ♪
393
00:15:34,087 --> 00:15:36,246
♪ And there's lots of beer ♪
394
00:15:36,247 --> 00:15:38,171
♪ And the post game ♪
395
00:15:38,172 --> 00:15:39,606
♪ Show ♪
396
00:15:39,607 --> 00:15:43,066
♪ So before you get
mad at me later ♪
397
00:15:43,067 --> 00:15:48,067
♪ Just remember that
I told you so ♪
398
00:15:50,007 --> 00:15:51,663
♪ Well I drink ♪
399
00:15:51,664 --> 00:15:53,329
♪ So I drank ♪
400
00:15:53,330 --> 00:15:55,286
♪ Now I'm drunk ♪
401
00:15:55,287 --> 00:15:57,765
♪ Bottoms up ♪
402
00:15:57,766 --> 00:15:59,409
♪ Well I drink ♪
403
00:15:59,410 --> 00:16:01,307
♪ So I drank ♪
404
00:16:01,308 --> 00:16:03,297
♪ Now I'm drunk ♪
405
00:16:03,298 --> 00:16:05,382
♪ Bottoms up ♪
406
00:16:05,383 --> 00:16:07,249
♪ Well I drink ♪
407
00:16:07,250 --> 00:16:09,184
♪ So I drank ♪
408
00:16:09,185 --> 00:16:10,784
♪ Now I'm drunk ♪
409
00:16:10,785 --> 00:16:12,883
♪ Bottoms up ♪
410
00:16:12,884 --> 00:16:16,504
♪ Well I drink ♪
411
00:16:16,505 --> 00:16:19,203
♪ So I drank ♪
412
00:16:19,204 --> 00:16:21,043
♪ Just like Hank ♪
413
00:16:21,044 --> 00:16:26,044
♪ Now I'm ♪
414
00:16:29,140 --> 00:16:31,723
♪ Drunk, again ♪
415
00:16:35,204 --> 00:16:36,150
- Firewater,
416
00:16:36,151 --> 00:16:37,569
a bar that is one block
417
00:16:37,570 --> 00:16:39,639
from the Sullivan
brother's center.
418
00:16:39,640 --> 00:16:40,979
On stage right now,
419
00:16:40,980 --> 00:16:42,709
Pamela the Punisher poet.
420
00:16:42,710 --> 00:16:44,359
The only dominatrix poet
421
00:16:44,360 --> 00:16:46,159
to ever make it.
422
00:16:46,160 --> 00:16:48,089
And, her sidekick,
423
00:16:48,090 --> 00:16:49,923
our good friend Sam the Slave.
424
00:16:52,700 --> 00:16:54,520
- Ode to the little piggy,
425
00:16:54,521 --> 00:16:58,344
dirty, nasty little piggy.
426
00:16:58,345 --> 00:16:59,942
I'm going to make you mine
427
00:16:59,943 --> 00:17:02,600
so get on your knees
428
00:17:02,601 --> 00:17:05,022
and whine, you nasty swine.
429
00:17:05,023 --> 00:17:06,702
I am Pamela,
430
00:17:06,703 --> 00:17:08,136
the Punisher poet.
431
00:17:08,137 --> 00:17:10,720
And you're just my little piggy
432
00:17:11,800 --> 00:17:13,701
and everyone's going to know it.
433
00:17:13,702 --> 00:17:18,200
I am the only dominatrix
poet to ever make it
434
00:17:18,201 --> 00:17:21,662
so get on your knees
you nasty little pig
435
00:17:21,663 --> 00:17:22,663
and take it.
436
00:17:31,945 --> 00:17:32,960
- I love Pamela the Punisher.
437
00:17:32,961 --> 00:17:33,961
I love poetry.
438
00:17:33,962 --> 00:17:36,024
You girls have boyfriends?
439
00:17:44,440 --> 00:17:45,440
- Yes.
440
00:17:45,441 --> 00:17:46,459
Fantastic.
441
00:17:46,460 --> 00:17:48,633
I love you Pamela
the Poet Punisher.
442
00:17:52,940 --> 00:17:53,969
- Rutro.
443
00:17:53,970 --> 00:17:55,629
Where's Scooby and the gang?
444
00:17:55,630 --> 00:17:57,182
- Solve any mysteries lately?
445
00:18:03,375 --> 00:18:05,039
- No, not,
446
00:18:05,040 --> 00:18:06,669
not today.
447
00:18:06,670 --> 00:18:07,503
Why?
448
00:18:07,504 --> 00:18:09,550
- Is your mom picking you up
from little league later?
449
00:18:09,551 --> 00:18:12,489
- I'm in a league.
450
00:18:12,490 --> 00:18:15,083
- Is your priest
still molesting you?
451
00:18:17,444 --> 00:18:20,269
- You look like Lance
Armstrong without the roids.
452
00:18:20,270 --> 00:18:21,539
- You look like Tom Hanks
453
00:18:21,540 --> 00:18:23,059
and the end of Philadelphia.
454
00:18:23,060 --> 00:18:25,983
- You look like Chaz Bono
in a fun house mirror.
455
00:18:29,892 --> 00:18:31,379
- Sam.
456
00:18:31,380 --> 00:18:32,332
What's up man, how's it going?
457
00:18:32,332 --> 00:18:33,332
- Good.
458
00:18:34,910 --> 00:18:36,269
Yeah, could I get
a scotch please?
459
00:18:36,270 --> 00:18:37,260
- Yeah, put that one on me.
460
00:18:37,261 --> 00:18:39,619
- Classy as always, sir.
461
00:18:39,620 --> 00:18:40,460
Dude, how's it going man?
462
00:18:40,461 --> 00:18:41,934
Where's Tanner at?
463
00:18:41,935 --> 00:18:43,971
- He's with his fiance, man.
464
00:18:43,972 --> 00:18:46,889
- Well that's what
happens, right.
465
00:18:46,890 --> 00:18:47,971
You get older.
466
00:18:47,972 --> 00:18:49,672
You get kids.
467
00:18:49,673 --> 00:18:52,703
Got a nice wife, I guess.
468
00:18:56,528 --> 00:18:59,199
Or you can just be the guy
drinking alone at the bar.
469
00:18:59,200 --> 00:19:00,200
- Yeah.
470
00:19:01,589 --> 00:19:02,649
- Right.
471
00:19:02,650 --> 00:19:03,620
- Yeah, yeah.
472
00:19:03,621 --> 00:19:05,315
Apparently right now,
473
00:19:05,316 --> 00:19:06,313
he's two knuckles deep
474
00:19:06,314 --> 00:19:07,912
in a game of scrabble
with his finance.
475
00:19:09,040 --> 00:19:09,873
- Scrabble.
476
00:19:09,874 --> 00:19:11,869
Don't you have to know
words for scrabble?
477
00:19:11,870 --> 00:19:12,703
- Yeah.
478
00:19:12,704 --> 00:19:14,552
You know that guy's just
playing idiotic stuff.
479
00:19:14,553 --> 00:19:16,019
He's probably
sitting there bored
480
00:19:16,020 --> 00:19:17,989
making houses and
stuff like that.
481
00:19:17,990 --> 00:19:19,331
- Fucking lame crap.
482
00:19:19,332 --> 00:19:20,729
- Idiot.
483
00:19:20,730 --> 00:19:22,029
He's gonna play like this,
484
00:19:22,030 --> 00:19:22,970
they, them,
485
00:19:22,971 --> 00:19:25,007
it, as, and,
486
00:19:25,008 --> 00:19:25,841
an,
487
00:19:25,842 --> 00:19:27,509
and then do the D.
488
00:19:27,510 --> 00:19:29,119
And then yeah, you know
he's gonna get to there
489
00:19:29,120 --> 00:19:30,929
and have like the wrong one.
490
00:19:30,930 --> 00:19:32,376
Like he's gonna go
ahead and say ah,
491
00:19:32,377 --> 00:19:33,399
this means
492
00:19:33,400 --> 00:19:34,390
they are, right.
493
00:19:34,390 --> 00:19:35,223
They are, right.
494
00:19:35,223 --> 00:19:36,140
He's gonna be asking.
495
00:19:36,141 --> 00:19:38,890
- His fiance has to be having
the worst time right now.
496
00:19:43,092 --> 00:19:44,092
- Well, woo.
497
00:19:45,113 --> 00:19:46,566
Look what he just played.
498
00:19:46,567 --> 00:19:49,299
Actually, Tanner is
playing scrabble
499
00:19:49,300 --> 00:19:50,133
with is fiance
500
00:19:50,134 --> 00:19:51,563
with a bunch of her friends.
501
00:19:52,400 --> 00:19:54,829
She spelled Fount,
502
00:19:54,830 --> 00:19:55,859
which earned her
503
00:19:55,860 --> 00:19:56,983
24 points.
504
00:19:58,210 --> 00:19:59,210
She was quite proud.
505
00:20:00,450 --> 00:20:02,119
Tanner had a word too.
506
00:20:02,120 --> 00:20:03,649
His fiance kept pestering him
507
00:20:03,650 --> 00:20:05,293
on his vocabulary all night.
508
00:20:09,193 --> 00:20:10,191
Starts with a Q.
509
00:20:10,192 --> 00:20:11,192
That earned him
510
00:20:11,193 --> 00:20:12,130
triple letter score.
511
00:20:12,131 --> 00:20:14,309
So guess what Tanner's word is.
512
00:20:14,310 --> 00:20:16,359
I'll give you a few hints.
513
00:20:16,360 --> 00:20:17,310
Muff grunt,
514
00:20:17,311 --> 00:20:18,899
box burp,
515
00:20:18,900 --> 00:20:19,746
sliz sneeze,
516
00:20:19,747 --> 00:20:21,799
womb wheeze,
517
00:20:21,800 --> 00:20:23,828
cunt cough.
518
00:20:23,829 --> 00:20:25,489
That's right.
519
00:20:25,490 --> 00:20:27,313
Tanner's word is Queef.
520
00:20:27,314 --> 00:20:28,679
And if you're still lost,
521
00:20:28,680 --> 00:20:30,273
Google pussy fart.
522
00:20:30,274 --> 00:20:33,829
Queef earned Tanner 63
points total on the word
523
00:20:33,830 --> 00:20:35,099
and gave him the lead.
524
00:20:35,100 --> 00:20:36,719
His finance was pissed.
525
00:20:36,720 --> 00:20:38,871
But her Ceder Falls
friends were impressed,
526
00:20:38,872 --> 00:20:40,849
and also laughing so hard
527
00:20:40,850 --> 00:20:43,329
that Tanner's finally
in with them.
528
00:20:43,330 --> 00:20:44,919
Just goes to show you
529
00:20:44,920 --> 00:20:46,089
everyone comes together
530
00:20:46,090 --> 00:20:47,429
at a campground
531
00:20:47,430 --> 00:20:49,031
over a twat tune.
532
00:20:49,032 --> 00:20:52,369
- Triple letter score
on the letter Q, nice.
533
00:20:52,370 --> 00:20:53,203
- Nice.
534
00:20:53,204 --> 00:20:55,329
He's putting that extra
chromosome to use.
535
00:20:55,330 --> 00:20:58,030
- I'll drink my scotch to that.
536
00:21:00,690 --> 00:21:02,059
- I'm telling you guys,
537
00:21:02,060 --> 00:21:03,849
Jeff Lance is my real father.
538
00:21:03,850 --> 00:21:04,683
I know it.
539
00:21:04,684 --> 00:21:05,749
- He went in with your mom
540
00:21:05,750 --> 00:21:06,889
when he was 12 years old,
541
00:21:06,890 --> 00:21:08,385
you do realize this.
542
00:21:08,386 --> 00:21:09,220
- That's what I'm saying.
543
00:21:09,221 --> 00:21:11,687
She had Jeff in class
when he was 12.
544
00:21:11,688 --> 00:21:13,842
- That means your mom's
a child molester.
545
00:21:13,843 --> 00:21:17,505
- Yes, but my real
father's a stud.
546
00:21:17,506 --> 00:21:18,339
- Well, it makes sense.
547
00:21:18,340 --> 00:21:19,745
You do like raw
dogging the strange.
548
00:21:22,920 --> 00:21:24,259
- Patrick Plumly.
549
00:21:24,260 --> 00:21:25,649
He owns On The Rocks,
550
00:21:25,650 --> 00:21:28,268
a bar with over 15
different Moscow mules,
551
00:21:28,269 --> 00:21:30,499
eight craft beers on tap,
552
00:21:30,500 --> 00:21:32,150
and even more
bottled and canned.
553
00:21:33,040 --> 00:21:34,619
A place like On The
Rocks is a staple
554
00:21:34,620 --> 00:21:35,920
in the Waterloo nightlife.
555
00:21:37,130 --> 00:21:38,899
Come have some of
the best drinks,
556
00:21:38,900 --> 00:21:41,999
cocktails, beers in the
whole Ceder Valley
557
00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:43,939
all while taking in some artwork
558
00:21:43,940 --> 00:21:45,043
of a vintage Waterloo.
559
00:21:51,154 --> 00:21:52,140
The Dipshit Twins,
560
00:21:52,141 --> 00:21:53,847
the smartest guys in the valley.
561
00:21:53,848 --> 00:21:56,908
They received the highest marks
at Iowa State University.
562
00:21:56,909 --> 00:22:00,679
Later, they attended both
Columbia and Harvard.
563
00:22:00,680 --> 00:22:02,159
Inspired by their heroes,
564
00:22:02,160 --> 00:22:03,549
Neil Degrasse Tyson
565
00:22:03,550 --> 00:22:04,573
and Carl Sagan.
566
00:22:06,182 --> 00:22:07,015
But like any other genius,
567
00:22:07,016 --> 00:22:08,149
if you want to throw them off,
568
00:22:08,150 --> 00:22:09,809
get them on a sex topic.
569
00:22:09,810 --> 00:22:12,209
It totally throws a genius off.
570
00:22:12,210 --> 00:22:14,519
Einstein can come up with
a theory of relativity,
571
00:22:14,520 --> 00:22:16,729
but ask that
non-practicing Jew krout
572
00:22:16,730 --> 00:22:18,829
to find the G spot on a woman,
573
00:22:18,830 --> 00:22:20,739
and he will be more shaken
574
00:22:20,740 --> 00:22:22,439
than Richard Spencer
575
00:22:22,440 --> 00:22:24,763
asking for directions in a KFC
576
00:22:24,764 --> 00:22:25,650
on the southside of Chicago.
577
00:22:25,650 --> 00:22:26,650
- You know,
578
00:22:27,622 --> 00:22:28,666
I was thinking
579
00:22:28,667 --> 00:22:31,424
on the topic of
black holes again.
580
00:22:31,425 --> 00:22:33,229
- Here we go.
581
00:22:33,230 --> 00:22:34,899
- We do not know
582
00:22:34,900 --> 00:22:36,864
what laws of physics apply
within a black hole.
583
00:22:36,865 --> 00:22:38,864
We just don't.
584
00:22:38,865 --> 00:22:40,466
We're applying standard
laws of physics,
585
00:22:40,467 --> 00:22:41,809
but they can't apply there.
586
00:22:41,810 --> 00:22:42,810
They can't.
587
00:22:43,484 --> 00:22:44,484
- Again,
588
00:22:45,265 --> 00:22:46,549
the standard laws of physics
589
00:22:46,550 --> 00:22:48,299
can apply to a black hole
590
00:22:48,300 --> 00:22:50,109
if there is any presence
591
00:22:50,110 --> 00:22:51,769
of something here on earth
592
00:22:51,770 --> 00:22:53,229
such as
593
00:22:53,230 --> 00:22:54,200
gravity.
594
00:22:54,200 --> 00:22:55,033
- Gravity.
595
00:22:55,034 --> 00:22:57,200
Oh, so that's what
Google was talking about
596
00:22:57,201 --> 00:22:58,379
when I looked it up earlier.
597
00:22:58,380 --> 00:22:59,213
- Yes,
598
00:22:59,214 --> 00:23:02,129
the same gravity that
takes this beautiful dart
599
00:23:02,130 --> 00:23:03,100
to the black
600
00:23:03,101 --> 00:23:04,699
hole of that
601
00:23:04,700 --> 00:23:07,189
gaping bullseye.
602
00:23:07,190 --> 00:23:08,369
Right in the center.
603
00:23:08,370 --> 00:23:09,370
Don't look.
604
00:23:10,750 --> 00:23:11,859
- Well,
605
00:23:11,860 --> 00:23:13,099
- Jesus Christ.
606
00:23:13,100 --> 00:23:16,320
What in the world of Breaking
Bad biology did I walk in on?
607
00:23:16,321 --> 00:23:18,253
- Matt.
608
00:23:19,120 --> 00:23:21,003
- You nerds talking about.
609
00:23:21,004 --> 00:23:23,519
Black holes again?
610
00:23:23,520 --> 00:23:25,189
- Just because we
identify as nerds
611
00:23:25,190 --> 00:23:26,969
doesn't mean you
can call us nerds.
612
00:23:26,970 --> 00:23:28,109
We can call each other nerds.
613
00:23:28,110 --> 00:23:29,539
You can't call us nerds.
614
00:23:29,540 --> 00:23:30,520
Nerd.
615
00:23:30,521 --> 00:23:32,079
- Hey, nerd.
616
00:23:32,080 --> 00:23:32,913
- Hey.
617
00:23:32,914 --> 00:23:34,399
- Yes, we're talking
about black holes.
618
00:23:34,400 --> 00:23:36,249
- Man, you guys talk
about black holes
619
00:23:36,250 --> 00:23:37,995
more than Robert Pinero.
620
00:23:37,996 --> 00:23:41,949
- Hold on.
621
00:23:41,950 --> 00:23:43,883
He's doing that
comedy thing again.
622
00:23:45,080 --> 00:23:46,439
Because
623
00:23:46,440 --> 00:23:47,340
Robert De Niro,
624
00:23:47,341 --> 00:23:48,821
Bobby as I call him,
625
00:23:48,822 --> 00:23:50,989
he likes black women.
626
00:23:50,990 --> 00:23:52,304
So that is funny.
627
00:23:53,590 --> 00:23:54,530
- Bobby of Niro
628
00:23:54,531 --> 00:23:56,064
likes black.
629
00:23:59,960 --> 00:24:00,959
- Jesus guys.
630
00:24:00,960 --> 00:24:01,963
Seriously.
631
00:24:01,964 --> 00:24:02,961
But I'll play along.
632
00:24:02,962 --> 00:24:04,384
- Oh.
633
00:24:04,385 --> 00:24:05,382
- So,
634
00:24:05,382 --> 00:24:06,215
let's just say the guy
particle accelerator
635
00:24:06,216 --> 00:24:08,779
and taken out all these
mini black holes.
636
00:24:08,780 --> 00:24:10,400
- Yes, you're
speaking my language.
637
00:24:10,401 --> 00:24:13,619
- They go ahead and toss us
638
00:24:13,620 --> 00:24:15,563
into the Mandela Effect.
639
00:24:15,564 --> 00:24:17,986
Mandela Effect.
640
00:24:17,987 --> 00:24:20,829
The Mandela Effect refers to
an enlarged number of people
641
00:24:20,830 --> 00:24:22,349
share a false memory,
642
00:24:22,350 --> 00:24:24,659
originally attributed
to the existence
643
00:24:24,660 --> 00:24:26,239
of multiple universes.
644
00:24:26,240 --> 00:24:27,840
Are we currently residing in it?
645
00:24:29,840 --> 00:24:30,944
- Let's see.
646
00:24:36,588 --> 00:24:37,522
Answer the question.
647
00:24:37,523 --> 00:24:38,544
- Bernstein.
648
00:24:38,545 --> 00:24:41,184
I guess you could
be a possibility.
649
00:24:41,185 --> 00:24:42,393
Next question.
650
00:24:43,600 --> 00:24:45,205
- It could be a possibility.
651
00:24:45,206 --> 00:24:46,729
- But.
652
00:24:46,730 --> 00:24:49,205
- If only you were to believe in
653
00:24:49,206 --> 00:24:51,159
alternate timelines.
654
00:24:51,160 --> 00:24:52,969
Or I don't know,
655
00:24:52,970 --> 00:24:54,029
maybe something
656
00:24:54,030 --> 00:24:55,905
like alternate universes.
657
00:24:57,321 --> 00:24:58,839
A bubble universe.
658
00:24:59,800 --> 00:25:00,800
- I get it.
659
00:25:01,581 --> 00:25:02,585
Like Rick and Morty, right.
660
00:25:02,586 --> 00:25:05,109
- No, I don't like
Rick and Morty.
661
00:25:05,110 --> 00:25:06,539
It's too smart for me.
662
00:25:06,540 --> 00:25:07,899
Make my brain hurt.
663
00:25:07,900 --> 00:25:08,900
- Pickle.
664
00:25:10,188 --> 00:25:11,867
- Pickle dick.
665
00:25:11,868 --> 00:25:12,969
Ow.
666
00:25:12,970 --> 00:25:14,319
- It's pickle Rick.
667
00:25:14,320 --> 00:25:16,085
I got another question
for you guys.
668
00:25:16,086 --> 00:25:17,979
You think
669
00:25:17,980 --> 00:25:19,563
- because.
- Yes.
670
00:25:19,564 --> 00:25:20,959
- These black holes opening,
671
00:25:20,960 --> 00:25:23,264
toss us into an
alternate universe
672
00:25:23,265 --> 00:25:25,422
within ourselves
673
00:25:25,423 --> 00:25:29,109
that we actually have
non binary people.
674
00:25:29,110 --> 00:25:31,638
People who do not identify
675
00:25:31,639 --> 00:25:33,359
as either gender,
676
00:25:33,360 --> 00:25:35,779
nor masculine, nor feminine.
677
00:25:35,780 --> 00:25:38,363
That they see neither of them.
678
00:25:38,364 --> 00:25:42,609
That however they exist
outside the binary,
679
00:25:42,610 --> 00:25:45,639
and outside the cis normativity.
680
00:25:45,640 --> 00:25:47,199
I'm telling you some people
681
00:25:47,200 --> 00:25:49,549
do not see gender, but just see
682
00:25:49,550 --> 00:25:53,269
who they actually
are as a person.
683
00:25:53,270 --> 00:25:54,763
- See people.
684
00:25:54,764 --> 00:25:59,063
I've been to 17
different colleges.
685
00:26:02,210 --> 00:26:03,558
- Dizzy.
686
00:26:03,559 --> 00:26:04,929
Matt,
687
00:26:04,930 --> 00:26:08,622
what the fuck are you
talking about man?
688
00:26:08,623 --> 00:26:09,703
- Yeah.
689
00:26:09,704 --> 00:26:11,845
What are you saying?
690
00:26:11,846 --> 00:26:12,928
- I'm just saying
691
00:26:12,929 --> 00:26:14,369
these people don't see gender.
692
00:26:14,370 --> 00:26:16,085
- You're hurting
Dipshitowits one.
693
00:26:16,086 --> 00:26:17,733
- Shut up, Dipshitowits two.
694
00:26:18,806 --> 00:26:21,785
- How can you not see gender?
695
00:26:21,786 --> 00:26:22,786
That's
696
00:26:23,708 --> 00:26:25,259
all you can see when
you're doing it.
697
00:26:25,260 --> 00:26:26,130
Look,
698
00:26:26,131 --> 00:26:27,808
hey, hey, hey.
699
00:26:27,809 --> 00:26:29,327
Honk, honk.
700
00:26:29,328 --> 00:26:30,849
Honk, honk.
701
00:26:30,850 --> 00:26:31,750
- It's all you can see.
702
00:26:31,751 --> 00:26:34,347
It's all you can see.
703
00:26:34,348 --> 00:26:36,805
- Hey, hey, gender, gender,
704
00:26:36,806 --> 00:26:38,059
gender, gender.
705
00:26:38,060 --> 00:26:39,803
Hey, hey, hey.
706
00:26:39,804 --> 00:26:40,957
- Let's put it,
707
00:26:40,958 --> 00:26:41,934
hey,
708
00:26:41,935 --> 00:26:43,032
hey.
709
00:26:43,033 --> 00:26:44,471
- Hey.
- I'm doing both parts.
710
00:26:44,472 --> 00:26:45,305
Hey.
711
00:26:45,306 --> 00:26:46,309
What?
712
00:26:46,310 --> 00:26:48,019
- You're gonna get
us kicked out again.
713
00:26:48,020 --> 00:26:48,913
- Sorry.
714
00:26:48,913 --> 00:26:49,746
Sorry.
715
00:26:49,746 --> 00:26:50,579
- What are you gonna do?
716
00:26:50,580 --> 00:26:52,432
Oh yeah, here's a big seven inch
717
00:26:52,433 --> 00:26:54,229
dark and red veiny,
718
00:26:54,230 --> 00:26:55,439
sweaty,
719
00:26:55,440 --> 00:26:57,552
smelly non-binary.
720
00:26:57,553 --> 00:26:59,232
- It's my big,
721
00:26:59,233 --> 00:27:00,592
huge,
722
00:27:00,593 --> 00:27:01,593
two inches,
723
00:27:02,593 --> 00:27:03,595
give or take
724
00:27:03,596 --> 00:27:04,875
veiny.
725
00:27:04,876 --> 00:27:06,192
Looks almost like...
726
00:27:06,193 --> 00:27:08,693
- Big, huge,
727
00:27:08,694 --> 00:27:09,915
two inches?
728
00:27:09,916 --> 00:27:11,195
- Go.
729
00:27:11,196 --> 00:27:12,210
- I mean,
730
00:27:12,211 --> 00:27:13,413
I don't think they see it
kind of that way boys.
731
00:27:13,414 --> 00:27:15,709
- Well you sometimes
you need a microscope,
732
00:27:15,710 --> 00:27:16,852
but you can see it that way.
733
00:27:16,853 --> 00:27:17,810
- You can see it.
734
00:27:17,811 --> 00:27:19,289
I've looked.
735
00:27:19,290 --> 00:27:20,869
Scientific curiosity.
736
00:27:20,870 --> 00:27:21,870
Nothing weird.
737
00:27:23,230 --> 00:27:24,832
Look, Matt,
738
00:27:24,833 --> 00:27:26,299
let's put it in dummy language.
739
00:27:26,300 --> 00:27:28,213
- Yeah, we're the Dipshits.
740
00:27:28,214 --> 00:27:29,712
Sure.
741
00:27:30,546 --> 00:27:31,379
- There's no denying dick.
742
00:27:31,379 --> 00:27:32,212
- Yeah.
743
00:27:32,212 --> 00:27:33,045
- There's no denying dick.
744
00:27:33,046 --> 00:27:34,295
There's no denying dick.
745
00:27:34,296 --> 00:27:35,878
There's no denying dick.
746
00:27:35,879 --> 00:27:37,296
There's no denying dick.
747
00:27:37,297 --> 00:27:38,714
There's no denying dick.
748
00:27:38,715 --> 00:27:40,219
There's no denying dick.
749
00:27:40,220 --> 00:27:41,675
There's no denying dick.
750
00:27:41,676 --> 00:27:42,676
There's no.
751
00:27:43,478 --> 00:27:44,555
- You know what.
752
00:27:44,556 --> 00:27:45,595
- What?
753
00:27:45,596 --> 00:27:46,429
- Let's go home.
754
00:27:46,429 --> 00:27:47,396
- Yeah.
755
00:27:47,397 --> 00:27:48,418
- Get the whiteboard out,
756
00:27:48,419 --> 00:27:49,659
put some fricking Windex on it.
757
00:27:53,180 --> 00:27:55,239
And then we're gonna
figure this out
758
00:27:55,240 --> 00:27:58,009
for once and for all.
759
00:27:58,010 --> 00:27:58,843
- Yeah Matt.
760
00:27:58,844 --> 00:28:00,958
You're such a fricking A-hole.
761
00:28:00,959 --> 00:28:03,139
Pardon my language, but
762
00:28:03,140 --> 00:28:04,020
we're trying to
763
00:28:04,021 --> 00:28:05,838
go on solve
764
00:28:05,839 --> 00:28:06,672
the straight dairy problem.
765
00:28:06,673 --> 00:28:08,456
Now you got me all twisted up.
766
00:28:08,457 --> 00:28:09,624
Now we have to
767
00:28:10,614 --> 00:28:11,729
fricking solve
768
00:28:11,730 --> 00:28:12,879
non-binary.
769
00:28:12,880 --> 00:28:14,689
- Computer scientists.
770
00:28:14,690 --> 00:28:15,690
Let's go.
771
00:28:19,300 --> 00:28:20,862
- A couple of science nerds,
772
00:28:20,863 --> 00:28:22,449
they're not very PC.
773
00:28:22,450 --> 00:28:23,450
Indepedent film.
774
00:28:24,639 --> 00:28:27,420
They must have meant
Independent film.
775
00:28:27,421 --> 00:28:30,958
The Mandela Effect.
776
00:28:30,959 --> 00:28:31,830
But an Independent film
777
00:28:31,831 --> 00:28:33,400
set in Waterloo, Iowa
778
00:28:33,401 --> 00:28:35,502
named Bros.
779
00:28:35,503 --> 00:28:37,023
Oh man, that's got to suck.
780
00:28:38,340 --> 00:28:39,300
- You running off
my customers again?
781
00:28:39,301 --> 00:28:40,939
- Come on man, they were
just gonna drink up
782
00:28:40,940 --> 00:28:42,379
my fucking favorite scotch.
783
00:28:42,380 --> 00:28:43,918
- Doesn't matter.
784
00:28:43,919 --> 00:28:45,036
- Tell you what,
785
00:28:45,037 --> 00:28:47,649
I'm gonna drink the
majority of that bottle
786
00:28:47,650 --> 00:28:49,159
in there anyways.
787
00:28:49,160 --> 00:28:51,640
And they were probably gonna
have a bunch of waters.
788
00:28:51,641 --> 00:28:53,189
It won't matter.
789
00:28:53,190 --> 00:28:54,499
They're science dorks.
790
00:28:54,500 --> 00:28:55,989
I'm a drunk.
791
00:28:55,990 --> 00:28:56,990
I pay more.
792
00:28:58,340 --> 00:29:00,159
- I love alcoholism.
793
00:29:00,160 --> 00:29:01,676
- Hey, hey,
794
00:29:01,677 --> 00:29:03,039
the Waterloo Manati
meeting just let out?
795
00:29:03,040 --> 00:29:04,099
- Matt, good to see you.
796
00:29:04,100 --> 00:29:05,529
- Good seeing you.
797
00:29:05,530 --> 00:29:07,543
- Where's your buddy, Tanner?
798
00:29:07,544 --> 00:29:09,762
- He's out with his
fiance tonight.
799
00:29:09,763 --> 00:29:10,660
- Yep.
800
00:29:10,661 --> 00:29:13,042
That happens when you get older.
801
00:29:13,043 --> 00:29:14,802
People, they get married.
802
00:29:14,803 --> 00:29:15,803
They have kids.
803
00:29:16,570 --> 00:29:18,061
Be happy for your friend.
804
00:29:18,062 --> 00:29:20,289
- Yeah, speaking of which,
805
00:29:20,290 --> 00:29:21,866
he's playing scrabble with her.
806
00:29:21,867 --> 00:29:24,301
Check out the word he played.
807
00:29:24,302 --> 00:29:25,789
- Oh, yeah.
808
00:29:25,790 --> 00:29:27,529
That's nice placement
there on that Q.
809
00:29:27,530 --> 00:29:29,063
Triple letter score.
810
00:29:29,064 --> 00:29:30,719
63 points.
811
00:29:30,720 --> 00:29:31,793
Very nice.
812
00:29:32,970 --> 00:29:33,989
- Yeah.
813
00:29:33,990 --> 00:29:35,090
I hate drinking alone.
814
00:29:38,120 --> 00:29:39,959
- Eat your bread
815
00:29:39,960 --> 00:29:41,839
with joy and drink your wine
816
00:29:41,840 --> 00:29:42,849
with a merry heart,
817
00:29:42,850 --> 00:29:44,639
for god has already approved
818
00:29:44,640 --> 00:29:46,079
what you do.
819
00:29:46,080 --> 00:29:47,199
- That's beautiful.
820
00:29:47,200 --> 00:29:48,679
Who's that?
821
00:29:48,680 --> 00:29:49,703
Luke Bryant?
822
00:29:49,704 --> 00:29:50,702
Kanye West?
823
00:29:50,703 --> 00:29:52,019
- It's Ecclesiastes nine seven.
824
00:29:52,020 --> 00:29:53,202
It's from the bible.
825
00:29:53,203 --> 00:29:54,269
- Yeah.
826
00:29:54,270 --> 00:29:56,381
I always try to give musicians
way too much credit.
827
00:29:56,382 --> 00:29:59,076
- Let me ask you something,
828
00:29:59,077 --> 00:30:00,640
what have you done so far today?
829
00:30:00,641 --> 00:30:02,701
- Well, it started off.
830
00:30:02,702 --> 00:30:04,099
I had some shots with Jeff
Lance at the Library.
831
00:30:04,100 --> 00:30:05,169
I went and saw
832
00:30:05,170 --> 00:30:07,069
pro-wrestling at the
Five Sullivan Center.
833
00:30:07,070 --> 00:30:10,105
And went and saw Pamela The
Punisher Poet next door.
834
00:30:10,106 --> 00:30:11,705
It's been pretty cool.
835
00:30:11,706 --> 00:30:14,849
- All that in the course
of one Saturday afternoon
836
00:30:14,850 --> 00:30:16,105
in the Cedar Valley.
837
00:30:16,106 --> 00:30:17,759
You know,
838
00:30:17,760 --> 00:30:19,879
the Douist define grace
839
00:30:19,880 --> 00:30:21,239
not so much
840
00:30:21,240 --> 00:30:23,399
by the words that you say,
841
00:30:23,400 --> 00:30:24,509
but by your actions,
842
00:30:24,510 --> 00:30:25,343
your movements,
843
00:30:25,344 --> 00:30:26,393
how you live life.
844
00:30:27,330 --> 00:30:30,189
You have more wealth in
these few city blocks
845
00:30:30,190 --> 00:30:31,429
than most people have
846
00:30:31,430 --> 00:30:32,709
anywhere in the world.
847
00:30:32,710 --> 00:30:34,148
Where else,
848
00:30:34,149 --> 00:30:34,982
other than
849
00:30:34,983 --> 00:30:36,148
maybe Las Vegas or something
850
00:30:36,149 --> 00:30:36,982
can you get
851
00:30:36,983 --> 00:30:38,686
a glass of scotch that full?
852
00:30:38,687 --> 00:30:41,979
Be happy for your friends,
853
00:30:41,980 --> 00:30:43,159
for they come and go.
854
00:30:43,160 --> 00:30:46,109
You know they'll always
be those children
855
00:30:46,110 --> 00:30:47,100
and those wives out there.
856
00:30:47,101 --> 00:30:48,129
Be happy for them too
857
00:30:48,130 --> 00:30:50,505
because this too may
come for you someday.
858
00:30:50,506 --> 00:30:51,506
- Yeah.
859
00:30:53,029 --> 00:30:54,228
What if it doesn't?
860
00:30:54,229 --> 00:30:56,239
- Well then you're just
another old guy at a bar.
861
00:30:56,240 --> 00:30:57,668
But see that's okay too.
862
00:30:57,669 --> 00:31:01,059
You need to cherish
your memories,
863
00:31:01,060 --> 00:31:02,548
enjoy your scotch,
864
00:31:02,549 --> 00:31:04,925
and remember the five
Sullivan brothers.
865
00:31:04,926 --> 00:31:08,249
They would have loved to be
able to come back to this town
866
00:31:08,250 --> 00:31:11,287
and enjoy it the
way that you have.
867
00:31:11,288 --> 00:31:13,393
- How'd you get so wise?
868
00:31:16,140 --> 00:31:18,429
- I come from Oelwein, Iowa.
869
00:31:18,430 --> 00:31:21,049
Oh hey, I have two tickets
to the court games.
870
00:31:21,050 --> 00:31:24,379
Starts in about 15 minutes.
871
00:31:24,380 --> 00:31:26,099
If you can find somebody
to go with you, great.
872
00:31:26,100 --> 00:31:28,190
If not, then you just
enjoy your evening.
873
00:31:28,191 --> 00:31:30,393
- Thanks man.
874
00:31:31,348 --> 00:31:33,399
I always appreciated
our friendship.
875
00:31:33,400 --> 00:31:34,409
- Take care.
876
00:31:34,410 --> 00:31:36,283
Finish that scotch.
877
00:31:50,120 --> 00:31:51,646
- The Cedar Valley court games.
878
00:31:51,647 --> 00:31:55,565
Waterloo's Midwest
professional basketball team.
879
00:31:55,566 --> 00:31:59,509
Actually, the Midwest
professional basketball league
880
00:31:59,510 --> 00:32:00,888
champions.
881
00:32:49,630 --> 00:32:51,225
- Speaking of broke,
882
00:32:51,226 --> 00:32:52,059
do you have enough
money to finish
883
00:32:52,059 --> 00:32:53,059
paying for your haircut?
884
00:32:53,910 --> 00:32:55,145
- I see, it's cool, it's cool.
885
00:32:55,146 --> 00:32:56,148
It's hard out here man.
886
00:32:56,149 --> 00:32:58,889
- You look like Raggedy Anne
after a house fire, man.
887
00:32:58,890 --> 00:33:00,869
- People's hair,
888
00:33:00,870 --> 00:33:02,729
I mean one more hair strand
falls out your hair, man,
889
00:33:02,730 --> 00:33:04,969
you're gonna look like broke
Bruce Willis or something.
890
00:33:04,970 --> 00:33:06,465
I'm just saying.
891
00:33:06,466 --> 00:33:07,966
- Jersey Shore reject.
892
00:33:07,967 --> 00:33:09,447
You look like old Asians.
893
00:33:09,967 --> 00:33:11,780
- Speaking of that,
894
00:33:11,781 --> 00:33:13,099
you sure look like
you came off the gas
895
00:33:13,100 --> 00:33:14,100
golf course seven.
896
00:33:14,101 --> 00:33:15,550
- I did, I see you dad there.
897
00:33:16,680 --> 00:33:18,263
- Speaking of rejects,
898
00:33:18,264 --> 00:33:19,268
like your hairline's
been rejecting
899
00:33:19,269 --> 00:33:20,329
your forehead a little bit.
900
00:33:20,330 --> 00:33:21,609
I don't know what's going on.
901
00:33:21,610 --> 00:33:22,607
- Your hairline look
like a fundraiser.
902
00:33:22,607 --> 00:33:23,607
I'm sorry.
903
00:33:24,826 --> 00:33:25,826
- You guys are black.
904
00:33:28,506 --> 00:33:31,003
- You kind of look like an Oreo.
905
00:33:32,069 --> 00:33:33,129
- A broreo.
906
00:33:33,130 --> 00:33:34,147
- A broreo.
907
00:33:34,148 --> 00:33:35,188
I like that.
908
00:33:35,189 --> 00:33:36,328
I like that, let's toast
to that right there.
909
00:33:36,329 --> 00:33:37,609
- Bros for life.
- Bros for life.
910
00:33:42,021 --> 00:33:43,023
- So I was thinking,
911
00:33:43,024 --> 00:33:44,384
and I think I might
like the sound
912
00:33:45,269 --> 00:33:46,220
of some little feet
pitter pattering.
913
00:33:46,221 --> 00:33:48,229
I think maybe we
should start a family.
914
00:33:48,230 --> 00:33:49,063
- Oh my god.
915
00:33:49,064 --> 00:33:50,719
I love being your wife.
916
00:33:50,720 --> 00:33:52,046
I would make such a great mom.
917
00:33:52,047 --> 00:33:53,189
I would love to have
918
00:33:53,190 --> 00:33:54,569
a little boy or girl with you.
919
00:33:54,570 --> 00:33:55,460
- Okay.
920
00:33:55,461 --> 00:33:56,849
I'll throw away the condoms.
921
00:33:56,850 --> 00:33:57,979
You start taking
your temperature
922
00:33:57,980 --> 00:33:59,089
and charting your days.
923
00:33:59,090 --> 00:34:00,649
And I'll triangulate
the insemination
924
00:34:00,650 --> 00:34:01,679
for the best possible outcome.
925
00:34:01,680 --> 00:34:03,239
- The way you sound it,
926
00:34:03,240 --> 00:34:04,339
it's so dirty.
927
00:34:04,340 --> 00:34:05,340
I love it.
928
00:34:06,840 --> 00:34:07,800
- Black Hawk county seat
929
00:34:07,801 --> 00:34:09,609
was originally in Cedar Falls.
930
00:34:09,610 --> 00:34:11,069
- Yeah, and then some
Waterloo residents
931
00:34:11,070 --> 00:34:12,549
went over and seized
the documents
932
00:34:12,550 --> 00:34:14,029
and brought them
back to Waterloo.
933
00:34:14,030 --> 00:34:15,059
- Wait, is this a story
934
00:34:15,060 --> 00:34:16,649
where they threw
eggs at each other?
935
00:34:16,650 --> 00:34:17,748
- Yeah, they called
it the egg war.
936
00:34:17,749 --> 00:34:19,949
- Hard boiled.
937
00:34:19,950 --> 00:34:21,545
Just like city councils
in these towns.
938
00:34:21,546 --> 00:34:23,009
- Or over easy,
939
00:34:23,010 --> 00:34:24,809
like the Cedar Valley women.
940
00:34:24,810 --> 00:34:27,259
- So according to this,
941
00:34:27,260 --> 00:34:29,623
we conceived on the weekend
of the 11th and the 12th.
942
00:34:29,624 --> 00:34:32,239
- Hey, that was the weekend
943
00:34:32,240 --> 00:34:34,829
I was out of town at
my nana's funeral.
944
00:34:34,830 --> 00:34:35,744
- Oh my god.
945
00:34:35,745 --> 00:34:37,267
Sorry.
946
00:34:37,268 --> 00:34:38,639
- It's okay.
947
00:34:38,640 --> 00:34:40,640
I fucked somebody else
that weekend too.
948
00:34:41,520 --> 00:34:42,353
- C'est la vie.
949
00:34:42,354 --> 00:34:43,403
- Sera, sera.
950
00:34:45,010 --> 00:34:47,428
- Mom, you got to stop
hitting on guys my age.
951
00:34:47,429 --> 00:34:49,379
Stop flirting with
my guy friends.
952
00:34:49,380 --> 00:34:51,869
- You know people think we could
953
00:34:51,870 --> 00:34:53,246
actually be sisters.
954
00:34:53,247 --> 00:34:55,069
- You slow down.
955
00:34:55,070 --> 00:34:56,429
You're way too much.
956
00:34:56,430 --> 00:34:58,046
- I am a cougar.
957
00:34:58,047 --> 00:34:59,828
It's our time now.
958
00:34:59,829 --> 00:35:02,009
I will not slow down.
959
00:35:02,010 --> 00:35:05,049
It's MILF time.
960
00:35:05,050 --> 00:35:05,883
- Gross.
961
00:35:05,884 --> 00:35:08,030
- Your little friend,
Jake, didn't think so.
962
00:35:19,004 --> 00:35:21,029
- This is Elias,
963
00:35:21,030 --> 00:35:22,468
a good Christian boy.
964
00:35:22,469 --> 00:35:24,779
Drank way too much one night.
965
00:35:24,780 --> 00:35:29,159
Actually, he went on an
entire weekend bender.
966
00:35:29,160 --> 00:35:32,249
Now, he's in
alcoholic's anonymous.
967
00:35:32,250 --> 00:35:34,308
So we refer to him as.
968
00:35:34,309 --> 00:35:36,779
AA Elias.
969
00:35:36,780 --> 00:35:38,543
- Shit this shit's man.
970
00:35:40,582 --> 00:35:42,466
Why don't they fix
this shit, dude?
971
00:35:45,267 --> 00:35:46,684
Who gives a shit.
972
00:35:51,710 --> 00:35:53,039
- Hey, Jorge.
973
00:35:53,040 --> 00:35:54,304
- What you want, dude?
974
00:35:54,305 --> 00:35:55,629
- You know I'm really
concerned about you man.
975
00:35:55,630 --> 00:35:57,265
I'm really concerned
about your health.
976
00:35:57,266 --> 00:35:58,525
Hwy don't you take
a look at this.
977
00:35:58,526 --> 00:36:00,019
Really could help you out.
978
00:36:00,020 --> 00:36:01,010
- You think?
979
00:36:01,011 --> 00:36:02,605
- Yeah man.
980
00:36:02,606 --> 00:36:03,819
It helped me.
981
00:36:03,820 --> 00:36:05,047
- Whatever dude.
982
00:36:05,048 --> 00:36:06,409
Go away dude, I'm drinking.
983
00:36:06,410 --> 00:36:07,539
- Alright, just think
about it, man.
984
00:36:07,540 --> 00:36:09,128
- Yeah whatever dude.
985
00:36:09,129 --> 00:36:10,129
Go fuck yourself.
986
00:36:19,710 --> 00:36:21,377
Holy shit, AA works.
987
00:36:23,920 --> 00:36:25,570
Alright.
988
00:36:35,460 --> 00:36:36,930
- I love the two of you in Oz.
989
00:36:36,931 --> 00:36:38,968
- What's up man.
990
00:36:38,969 --> 00:36:41,527
- Hey, what's up Jorge?
991
00:36:41,528 --> 00:36:42,706
What's up dude?
992
00:36:42,707 --> 00:36:43,746
Marcel, can I get another run?
993
00:36:43,747 --> 00:36:44,747
Thank you.
994
00:36:45,609 --> 00:36:46,886
- This time of the day, dude?
995
00:36:46,887 --> 00:36:47,887
- Yeah.
996
00:36:49,507 --> 00:36:50,979
You have the same one too.
997
00:36:50,980 --> 00:36:52,088
- I'm in mourning dude.
998
00:36:52,089 --> 00:36:54,770
- Yeah, I guess I'm
in mourning too.
999
00:36:54,771 --> 00:36:57,389
- Why, Anthony Bourdain too?
1000
00:36:57,390 --> 00:36:58,280
You heard about that shit too?
1001
00:36:58,281 --> 00:37:00,009
- No, Tanner.
1002
00:37:00,010 --> 00:37:01,439
He's got a fiance.
1003
00:37:01,440 --> 00:37:02,370
Can't hang out with me.
1004
00:37:02,371 --> 00:37:03,519
- He found someone
tighter than you, huh.
1005
00:37:03,520 --> 00:37:05,189
- Yeah, I guess in a way.
1006
00:37:05,190 --> 00:37:06,709
- In a way?
1007
00:37:06,710 --> 00:37:08,210
Really?
1008
00:37:08,211 --> 00:37:09,369
- Yeah.
1009
00:37:09,370 --> 00:37:10,949
Who's fucking push
light is that?
1010
00:37:10,950 --> 00:37:11,890
- That's that milk weed,
1011
00:37:11,891 --> 00:37:13,209
Tyler of the tool.
1012
00:37:13,210 --> 00:37:14,043
- Oh Jesus Christ.
1013
00:37:14,044 --> 00:37:16,349
Was diet mountain dew too spicy?
1014
00:37:16,350 --> 00:37:17,528
- For that milk weed
1015
00:37:17,529 --> 00:37:19,129
motherfucker, maybe.
1016
00:37:22,510 --> 00:37:23,369
- Oh yeah.
1017
00:37:23,370 --> 00:37:25,629
Extra cheese was a good call.
1018
00:37:25,630 --> 00:37:26,880
It's a two flusher, baby.
1019
00:37:34,830 --> 00:37:38,269
Pouring one out for your
dead homies over there?
1020
00:37:39,720 --> 00:37:40,989
You guys both have a grinder.
1021
00:37:40,990 --> 00:37:42,129
That's how you guys met.
1022
00:37:42,130 --> 00:37:42,963
That's awesome.
1023
00:37:42,964 --> 00:37:44,306
Good for you guys.
1024
00:37:44,307 --> 00:37:45,140
You guys are a beautiful couple.
1025
00:37:45,140 --> 00:37:45,973
I like the melting pot
1026
00:37:45,974 --> 00:37:47,528
kind of situation going on here.
1027
00:37:47,529 --> 00:37:48,967
- Hey, at least I get
swiped right, motherfucker.
1028
00:37:48,968 --> 00:37:50,859
Hey, what's with the jacket?
1029
00:37:50,860 --> 00:37:52,408
Were you worried about
the Jews replacing you?
1030
00:37:52,409 --> 00:37:54,969
- You couldn't replace me.
1031
00:37:54,970 --> 00:37:56,305
I look like
1032
00:37:56,306 --> 00:37:58,219
if Adolph Hitler could
perfectly design somebody.
1033
00:37:58,220 --> 00:38:01,128
A genetically modified boy
band member basically.
1034
00:38:02,187 --> 00:38:03,719
- Yeah, the Richard
Spencer Five.
1035
00:38:03,720 --> 00:38:04,553
I've heard of them.
1036
00:38:04,554 --> 00:38:05,556
- You're just like my uncle.
1037
00:38:05,557 --> 00:38:06,602
You went south of the border.
1038
00:38:06,603 --> 00:38:08,349
You got a nice Hispanic wife.
1039
00:38:08,350 --> 00:38:09,359
You're like the guy
1040
00:38:09,360 --> 00:38:10,419
from Modern Family.
1041
00:38:10,420 --> 00:38:11,420
That's awesome.
1042
00:38:12,923 --> 00:38:14,588
- You're adorable.
1043
00:38:14,589 --> 00:38:15,879
- That's like your mom said.
1044
00:38:15,880 --> 00:38:16,840
She thinks I'm real cute.
1045
00:38:16,841 --> 00:38:19,729
She put me up in her big
strong Mexican arms,
1046
00:38:19,730 --> 00:38:21,439
like a big bundle of fruit.
1047
00:38:21,440 --> 00:38:22,967
Just picked me up.
1048
00:38:22,968 --> 00:38:23,970
- Hey,
1049
00:38:23,971 --> 00:38:24,804
where's your dipshit friend at?
1050
00:38:24,805 --> 00:38:25,984
Tyler?
1051
00:38:25,985 --> 00:38:26,818
- Pulling doubles over
at the golf course, man.
1052
00:38:26,818 --> 00:38:27,651
Golf pro.
1053
00:38:27,651 --> 00:38:28,640
Making that good money.
1054
00:38:28,641 --> 00:38:30,180
He's got a kid on the way.
1055
00:38:31,843 --> 00:38:33,144
He fucks girls, unlike you guys.
1056
00:38:33,145 --> 00:38:35,189
- Putting.
1057
00:38:35,190 --> 00:38:36,609
The short game.
1058
00:38:36,610 --> 00:38:39,026
Well, half the game actually.
1059
00:38:39,027 --> 00:38:40,786
You master this, and
1060
00:38:40,787 --> 00:38:44,765
I think I see a little green
jacket in your future.
1061
00:38:44,766 --> 00:38:46,143
But,
1062
00:38:47,185 --> 00:38:49,519
but you got to eye on the ball
1063
00:38:49,520 --> 00:38:51,609
and then put through
1064
00:38:51,610 --> 00:38:52,662
to the hole.
1065
00:38:52,663 --> 00:38:55,009
Through to the hole.
1066
00:38:55,010 --> 00:38:56,010
But,
1067
00:38:56,690 --> 00:38:57,944
you got to focus.
1068
00:38:57,945 --> 00:38:59,349
Buddy.
1069
00:38:59,350 --> 00:39:00,350
Focus.
1070
00:39:16,980 --> 00:39:18,480
- Hey, I thought that was a
baby ruth in Caddyshack.
1071
00:39:18,481 --> 00:39:21,099
- Yeah, but all they
had was snickers.
1072
00:39:21,100 --> 00:39:23,323
- Hey, no more
Caddyshack references.
1073
00:39:23,324 --> 00:39:25,202
- But man, orange balls.
1074
00:39:25,203 --> 00:39:27,864
Hey Wayne, this is
a swanky joint.
1075
00:39:27,865 --> 00:39:29,762
Go tell him you're Jewish.
1076
00:39:30,661 --> 00:39:33,423
- No more Caddyshack references.
1077
00:39:36,560 --> 00:39:37,889
No more Caddyshack references.
1078
00:39:37,890 --> 00:39:39,039
I'm fucking serious.
1079
00:39:39,040 --> 00:39:40,949
- Oh baby.
1080
00:39:40,950 --> 00:39:43,017
This is a big one.
1081
00:39:43,018 --> 00:39:43,851
- Alright, don't count that one.
1082
00:39:43,852 --> 00:39:45,029
That was interfered with.
1083
00:39:45,030 --> 00:39:47,459
- The whole world needs
ditch diggers too.
1084
00:39:47,460 --> 00:39:49,329
- What'd I say about
Caddyshack references?
1085
00:39:49,330 --> 00:39:50,824
- What's the matter?
1086
00:39:50,825 --> 00:39:51,658
I just want to bring
you a present.
1087
00:39:51,659 --> 00:39:52,659
- No
1088
00:39:52,660 --> 00:39:54,169
more.
1089
00:39:54,170 --> 00:39:55,199
Caddyshack references.
1090
00:39:55,200 --> 00:39:56,409
- Hey, that's from
Caddyshack two.
1091
00:39:56,410 --> 00:39:58,809
- Yeah, it's from
Caddyshack two, bra.
1092
00:39:58,810 --> 00:39:59,929
- Shit man.
1093
00:39:59,930 --> 00:40:01,565
The last time I saw you,
1094
00:40:01,566 --> 00:40:04,582
the night in Cedar
Falls with Heather.
1095
00:40:04,583 --> 00:40:07,239
- Yet that girl talks about
how small my dick is.
1096
00:40:07,240 --> 00:40:08,409
Like you're six foot four,
1097
00:40:08,410 --> 00:40:09,569
everything looks that small
1098
00:40:09,570 --> 00:40:11,064
compared to that.
1099
00:40:11,065 --> 00:40:11,898
Come on.
1100
00:40:11,898 --> 00:40:12,731
- You ever notice
when she gets mad,
1101
00:40:12,732 --> 00:40:14,529
she kind of looks
like William Defoe?
1102
00:40:14,530 --> 00:40:15,390
- Oh dude, it's like
1103
00:40:15,391 --> 00:40:16,869
kind of like seeing my stepdad.
1104
00:40:16,870 --> 00:40:17,703
It's crazy.
1105
00:40:17,703 --> 00:40:18,560
Like
1106
00:40:18,561 --> 00:40:20,869
the guy that got shot
by fucking Jake Taylor
1107
00:40:20,870 --> 00:40:22,489
from Major League in Platoon,
1108
00:40:22,490 --> 00:40:23,323
you know what I'm talking about.
1109
00:40:23,324 --> 00:40:24,339
- Yeah dude.
1110
00:40:24,340 --> 00:40:25,340
Oh my god.
1111
00:40:26,046 --> 00:40:27,806
Was she on the rescue
in the Boondock Saints?
1112
00:40:28,120 --> 00:40:28,953
- Yeah.
1113
00:40:28,954 --> 00:40:30,461
Born on the fourth of July.
1114
00:40:32,446 --> 00:40:33,279
- You two are peas in a pod.
1115
00:40:33,280 --> 00:40:34,509
What are you, a fucking
1116
00:40:34,510 --> 00:40:36,024
shake swords together sometimes.
1117
00:40:36,025 --> 00:40:37,725
- That's not a bad idea?
1118
00:40:37,726 --> 00:40:39,384
- Yeah man.
1119
00:40:39,385 --> 00:40:43,219
Hey, you got to have
somebody from a movie
1120
00:40:43,220 --> 00:40:44,070
talk shit about your dick,
1121
00:40:44,071 --> 00:40:45,821
who would it be?
1122
00:40:45,822 --> 00:40:47,041
- Oh man, probably
Hannibal Lector, man.
1123
00:40:47,042 --> 00:40:48,042
He'd be like
1124
00:40:48,780 --> 00:40:49,809
go into great detail about it,
1125
00:40:49,810 --> 00:40:51,679
and then like snack that shit
up with some fava beans.
1126
00:40:51,680 --> 00:40:55,682
What about you?
1127
00:40:55,683 --> 00:40:57,419
- Weirdly,
1128
00:40:57,420 --> 00:40:58,469
Cruella de Vil.
1129
00:40:58,470 --> 00:40:59,679
- 101 Dalmatians.
1130
00:40:59,680 --> 00:41:00,744
- Yeah.
1131
00:41:00,745 --> 00:41:01,578
Yeah, she'd talk shit about it,
1132
00:41:01,579 --> 00:41:03,159
she'd still see
the beauty in it.
1133
00:41:03,160 --> 00:41:04,739
She'd just have to
find a 100 more
1134
00:41:04,740 --> 00:41:06,659
and fashion it in to a
fashionable jacket.
1135
00:41:06,660 --> 00:41:08,002
- A nice little dick coat.
1136
00:41:08,003 --> 00:41:09,312
- Yeah, who wouldn't wear
a dick skinned jacket?
1137
00:41:09,313 --> 00:41:10,444
- I would look good
in a dick coat.
1138
00:41:10,445 --> 00:41:12,478
- That jacket is tighter
than dick skin.
1139
00:41:12,479 --> 00:41:13,993
- Absolutely.
1140
00:41:16,700 --> 00:41:18,219
- So,
1141
00:41:18,220 --> 00:41:19,282
fuck it.
1142
00:41:19,283 --> 00:41:20,116
You want to go to Lava Lounge?
1143
00:41:20,116 --> 00:41:20,949
I'll buy you a scotch.
1144
00:41:20,949 --> 00:41:21,850
$12,
1145
00:41:21,850 --> 00:41:22,850
the good kind.
1146
00:41:24,723 --> 00:41:25,556
- Trailer Park Boys, nice.
1147
00:41:25,557 --> 00:41:26,957
- Nice.
1148
00:41:26,958 --> 00:41:28,824
- Well, it looks like
I'm Julien on this one,
1149
00:41:28,825 --> 00:41:30,322
cause I'm taking
my drink with me.
1150
00:41:30,323 --> 00:41:31,539
- It's about to fucking time.
1151
00:41:31,540 --> 00:41:32,729
- Have a good one.
1152
00:41:32,730 --> 00:41:33,944
Adios amigo.
1153
00:41:33,945 --> 00:41:35,239
- Yeah, fuck yourself.
1154
00:41:35,240 --> 00:41:38,289
- No, C3-PO has a silver leg.
1155
00:41:38,290 --> 00:41:39,800
- Mandela Effect.
1156
00:41:39,801 --> 00:41:41,559
- No, what.
1157
00:41:41,560 --> 00:41:42,664
No, no, no, no, no.
1158
00:41:42,665 --> 00:41:43,662
C3-PO is gold
1159
00:41:43,663 --> 00:41:44,709
and Han did the Castle Run
1160
00:41:44,710 --> 00:41:46,719
in 12 parsecs.
1161
00:41:46,720 --> 00:41:47,553
Duh.
1162
00:41:47,554 --> 00:41:48,919
- Pretty sure it was 14.
1163
00:41:48,920 --> 00:41:50,339
- He told Chewy
1164
00:41:50,340 --> 00:41:51,366
that he rounded down in Solo.
1165
00:41:51,367 --> 00:41:52,463
- Either way,
1166
00:41:53,481 --> 00:41:54,482
it's still impressive.
1167
00:41:54,483 --> 00:41:56,099
- So,
1168
00:41:56,100 --> 00:41:58,519
is Rey Han and Leia's kid?
1169
00:41:58,520 --> 00:41:59,353
- How the hell
1170
00:41:59,354 --> 00:42:01,682
would Luke and Leia
not sense that?
1171
00:42:01,683 --> 00:42:04,540
I mean these jedis are unreal.
1172
00:42:04,541 --> 00:42:09,478
Leia can Mary Poppins through
the vacuum of space,
1173
00:42:09,479 --> 00:42:12,158
but she can't keep track
of her damn kids.
1174
00:42:12,159 --> 00:42:14,809
- There's no way that Rey
is their kid anyway.
1175
00:42:14,810 --> 00:42:15,760
Han and Leia,
1176
00:42:15,761 --> 00:42:17,069
no, there's no way.
1177
00:42:17,070 --> 00:42:18,381
No.
1178
00:42:18,382 --> 00:42:19,502
- Jedi's are shitty parents.
1179
00:42:22,677 --> 00:42:23,510
- Do you think
1180
00:42:23,510 --> 00:42:24,343
that
1181
00:42:24,344 --> 00:42:26,415
at like another
bar in this town,
1182
00:42:26,416 --> 00:42:28,989
there are girls talking
about Star Trek
1183
00:42:28,990 --> 00:42:30,549
like we're talking
about Star Wars.
1184
00:42:30,550 --> 00:42:31,739
- No way.
1185
00:42:31,740 --> 00:42:33,539
- Yeah, Star Trek is dumb.
1186
00:42:33,540 --> 00:42:35,218
- You're right.
1187
00:42:38,510 --> 00:42:40,379
- You can have your
Captain Pikard.
1188
00:42:40,380 --> 00:42:42,059
You can have your Captain Kirk,
1189
00:42:42,060 --> 00:42:43,517
but I'm after that Spock.
1190
00:42:43,518 --> 00:42:46,578
There's a reason for
live long and prosper.
1191
00:42:46,579 --> 00:42:49,298
I'd put a smile on
that Vulcan's face.
1192
00:42:49,299 --> 00:42:50,559
- I understand that.
1193
00:42:50,560 --> 00:42:51,619
But I want Mr. Chekov
1194
00:42:51,620 --> 00:42:52,879
as I want to make him my first.
1195
00:42:52,880 --> 00:42:54,129
You know them virgins.
1196
00:42:54,130 --> 00:42:55,439
I want to take him boldly
1197
00:42:55,440 --> 00:42:56,899
where no man has gone before.
1198
00:42:56,900 --> 00:42:58,221
- Girl.
1199
00:42:58,222 --> 00:42:59,219
- You know in can do a little.
1200
00:42:59,220 --> 00:43:00,999
- Only you girl.
1201
00:43:01,000 --> 00:43:02,317
- I'm telling you,
1202
00:43:02,318 --> 00:43:03,357
that's the way it's
supposed to be.
1203
00:43:03,358 --> 00:43:04,818
- Cheers.
1204
00:43:10,155 --> 00:43:10,988
- You know, I gotta say,
1205
00:43:10,989 --> 00:43:12,619
Rent by far is the
greatest musical
1206
00:43:12,620 --> 00:43:13,629
ever created.
1207
00:43:13,630 --> 00:43:14,679
It has heart.
1208
00:43:14,680 --> 00:43:15,799
It's visceral.
1209
00:43:15,800 --> 00:43:18,469
And it just moves you
in every way possible.
1210
00:43:18,470 --> 00:43:20,869
And also, it really hits home
1211
00:43:20,870 --> 00:43:21,860
with all my gay friends
1212
00:43:21,861 --> 00:43:23,310
and what they have to endure.
1213
00:43:24,920 --> 00:43:27,675
- Les Miserable is the
greatest musical of all time.
1214
00:43:27,676 --> 00:43:29,512
It digs into the human spirit,
1215
00:43:29,513 --> 00:43:31,249
the struggle.
1216
00:43:31,250 --> 00:43:33,138
They yearn to be part
of a higher power,
1217
00:43:33,139 --> 00:43:35,261
and the grace of humanity.
1218
00:43:35,262 --> 00:43:37,999
- Cats is the best.
1219
00:43:38,000 --> 00:43:39,329
I just love it.
1220
00:43:39,330 --> 00:43:40,957
Cute little cats running around.
1221
00:43:40,958 --> 00:43:44,099
And they don't make me
sneeze like real cats.
1222
00:43:44,100 --> 00:43:45,569
- The Music Man,
1223
00:43:45,570 --> 00:43:46,729
a light hearted musical
1224
00:43:46,730 --> 00:43:47,700
set in Iowa.
1225
00:43:47,701 --> 00:43:49,420
It saw the best production of it
1226
00:43:50,259 --> 00:43:51,378
at the Cedar Falls
Community Theater
1227
00:43:51,379 --> 00:43:52,300
at the.
1228
00:43:52,301 --> 00:43:54,119
The Waterloo Community Playhouse
1229
00:43:54,120 --> 00:43:56,658
also had a superb
production of it.
1230
00:43:56,659 --> 00:43:58,089
- You guys are all wrong.
1231
00:43:58,090 --> 00:44:00,877
I'm not trying to
be a dickhead but,
1232
00:44:00,878 --> 00:44:03,277
awful selections.
1233
00:44:03,278 --> 00:44:05,960
Greese 2 is
1234
00:44:05,961 --> 00:44:08,661
profoundly better than everything
you guys have mentioned.
1235
00:44:13,940 --> 00:44:15,089
You can roll your eyes,
1236
00:44:15,090 --> 00:44:16,742
but it really is.
1237
00:44:16,743 --> 00:44:18,239
You're just gonna
have to revisit it.
1238
00:44:18,240 --> 00:44:19,623
The Music Man?
1239
00:44:19,624 --> 00:44:21,289
I don't mean any disrespect,
1240
00:44:21,290 --> 00:44:22,689
I just,
1241
00:44:22,690 --> 00:44:23,523
that's like,
1242
00:44:23,524 --> 00:44:25,180
it's child's play
for grandparents.
1243
00:44:25,181 --> 00:44:26,869
It makes lowans
1244
00:44:26,870 --> 00:44:27,884
seem like
1245
00:44:27,885 --> 00:44:30,939
frumpy fools that
can't spot a fraud
1246
00:44:30,940 --> 00:44:32,163
a half a cornfield away.
1247
00:44:33,141 --> 00:44:34,801
It's not any good.
1248
00:44:34,802 --> 00:44:36,481
Cats.
1249
00:44:36,482 --> 00:44:38,743
Cats.
1250
00:44:40,270 --> 00:44:42,524
I don't have enough
scotch for Cats.
1251
00:44:42,525 --> 00:44:44,619
Rent man.
1252
00:44:44,620 --> 00:44:45,889
Rent's insufferable.
1253
00:44:45,890 --> 00:44:46,909
It just, like I get it.
1254
00:44:46,910 --> 00:44:48,569
Like I understand the struggle.
1255
00:44:48,570 --> 00:44:50,329
Totally sympathize
with the gay community
1256
00:44:50,330 --> 00:44:51,739
in New York City during Aids
1257
00:44:51,740 --> 00:44:52,573
and persecution,
1258
00:44:52,574 --> 00:44:54,982
living in weirdly
shitty apartments.
1259
00:44:54,983 --> 00:44:57,269
But really all it did was enable
1260
00:44:57,270 --> 00:44:58,339
white sorority sisters
1261
00:44:58,340 --> 00:45:01,009
to slaughter more Karaoke songs.
1262
00:45:01,010 --> 00:45:02,010
I can't, I can't.
1263
00:45:03,400 --> 00:45:04,400
Cats?
1264
00:45:06,100 --> 00:45:07,884
Les Mis.
1265
00:45:07,885 --> 00:45:10,023
I mean I don't hate it.
1266
00:45:10,024 --> 00:45:12,229
I like Anne Hathaway
in the movie.
1267
00:45:12,230 --> 00:45:13,160
It's pretty great.
1268
00:45:13,161 --> 00:45:14,890
But Jean Valjean
1269
00:45:15,920 --> 00:45:17,349
is not
1270
00:45:17,350 --> 00:45:18,929
and will never be.
1271
00:45:18,930 --> 00:45:19,930
Cool Rider.
1272
00:45:21,920 --> 00:45:23,399
In Greese 2, Michael
1273
00:45:23,400 --> 00:45:25,884
comes to America with a dream.
1274
00:45:25,885 --> 00:45:28,103
He makes his money
1275
00:45:28,104 --> 00:45:30,439
writing essays for the
1276
00:45:30,440 --> 00:45:32,233
less fortunate folks
at his school.
1277
00:45:33,360 --> 00:45:34,389
And he saves his money
1278
00:45:34,390 --> 00:45:36,059
and he builds a motorcycle
1279
00:45:36,060 --> 00:45:37,509
from scratch.
1280
00:45:37,510 --> 00:45:38,803
A cool rider was needed.
1281
00:45:40,320 --> 00:45:41,270
He built it from scratch.
1282
00:45:41,271 --> 00:45:42,469
He repurposed these parts
1283
00:45:42,470 --> 00:45:44,669
and he built them into
something stronger,
1284
00:45:44,670 --> 00:45:45,503
faster,
1285
00:45:45,504 --> 00:45:47,643
and just beautiful.
1286
00:45:49,042 --> 00:45:52,069
I don't know what
else you would want.
1287
00:45:52,070 --> 00:45:53,709
It's the American dream
1288
00:45:53,710 --> 00:45:55,349
in musical form.
1289
00:45:55,350 --> 00:45:57,949
Michelle Phieffer
needed hell on wheels
1290
00:45:57,950 --> 00:45:59,479
and by god,
1291
00:45:59,480 --> 00:46:00,833
Michael bird hot.
1292
00:46:01,842 --> 00:46:03,919
It also has the
best bowling scene
1293
00:46:03,920 --> 00:46:05,059
in cinematic history.
1294
00:46:05,060 --> 00:46:06,839
It's way better than that trite
1295
00:46:06,840 --> 00:46:09,099
gooey Beatles karaoke movie
1296
00:46:09,100 --> 00:46:10,869
across the universe.
1297
00:46:10,870 --> 00:46:11,899
- Seriously, Harris.
1298
00:46:11,900 --> 00:46:13,349
That's the best you
can come up with?
1299
00:46:13,350 --> 00:46:15,041
- Please I,
1300
00:46:15,042 --> 00:46:15,875
please, I prefer Harold.
1301
00:46:15,876 --> 00:46:17,564
- I prefer Harris.
1302
00:46:17,565 --> 00:46:18,862
- Okay.
1303
00:46:18,863 --> 00:46:20,509
- A couple reasons why
Greese 2 is shit.
1304
00:46:20,510 --> 00:46:21,649
First of all,
1305
00:46:21,650 --> 00:46:23,429
Michelle Phieffer sounds like
1306
00:46:23,430 --> 00:46:25,449
she's got a dead cat
stuck in her throat.
1307
00:46:25,450 --> 00:46:27,539
Her singing is atrocious.
1308
00:46:27,540 --> 00:46:28,769
- And yet she persevered.
1309
00:46:28,770 --> 00:46:29,929
- That was easily
the worst movie
1310
00:46:29,930 --> 00:46:30,930
she's ever been in.
1311
00:46:31,870 --> 00:46:34,319
Secondly, there's a
production going on right now
1312
00:46:34,320 --> 00:46:35,339
called 13.
1313
00:46:35,340 --> 00:46:36,459
These kids are in junior high
1314
00:46:36,460 --> 00:46:37,719
and they're putting
on something better
1315
00:46:37,720 --> 00:46:39,199
than these 30 year olds could.
1316
00:46:39,200 --> 00:46:41,400
Last,
1317
00:46:41,401 --> 00:46:43,089
these four musicals
1318
00:46:43,090 --> 00:46:44,263
were on a stage,
1319
00:46:44,264 --> 00:46:45,804
been on Broadway.
1320
00:46:45,805 --> 00:46:48,703
Greese 2 has only
been in theaters
1321
00:46:48,704 --> 00:46:50,943
and has never won an award.
1322
00:46:50,944 --> 00:46:52,429
- Well,
1323
00:46:52,430 --> 00:46:53,919
better is the local theater.
1324
00:46:53,920 --> 00:46:55,409
They chose to do Greese
1325
00:46:55,410 --> 00:46:56,660
instead of the wrong one.
1326
00:46:58,402 --> 00:46:59,235
If they would have
got their heads
1327
00:46:59,236 --> 00:47:00,286
out of their asses,
1328
00:47:00,287 --> 00:47:01,120
they would have
picked the right one,
1329
00:47:01,120 --> 00:47:01,980
they would have
found a cool rider
1330
00:47:01,981 --> 00:47:03,979
and Harold would have obliged.
1331
00:47:06,650 --> 00:47:08,219
- So what are you
drinking there?
1332
00:47:08,220 --> 00:47:10,729
- Young lady, I am not drinking
1333
00:47:10,730 --> 00:47:11,819
anything.
1334
00:47:11,820 --> 00:47:13,259
I am experiencing this
1335
00:47:13,260 --> 00:47:15,509
single malt scotch.
1336
00:47:15,510 --> 00:47:16,679
- You know,
1337
00:47:16,680 --> 00:47:18,239
every time you drink scotch,
1338
00:47:18,240 --> 00:47:20,820
it makes me really frisky.
1339
00:47:21,930 --> 00:47:24,159
- Well I do suppose that the
1340
00:47:24,160 --> 00:47:26,037
experience is different
for everyone.
1341
00:47:26,038 --> 00:47:28,619
- Well what are you doing later?
1342
00:47:28,620 --> 00:47:29,939
- Young lady,
1343
00:47:29,940 --> 00:47:31,139
must I inform you
1344
00:47:31,140 --> 00:47:33,163
that I'm wearing my purity ring.
1345
00:47:34,540 --> 00:47:36,719
- Why are you wearing
a purity ring?
1346
00:47:36,720 --> 00:47:38,339
- Because
1347
00:47:38,340 --> 00:47:41,296
purity rings are so cool.
1348
00:47:42,380 --> 00:47:44,816
- Cousin Harold.
1349
00:47:44,817 --> 00:47:47,275
Are you doubting the
1350
00:47:47,276 --> 00:47:49,769
coolness of my purity ring?
1351
00:47:49,770 --> 00:47:51,689
- Well if your ear wolf hat
1352
00:47:51,690 --> 00:47:52,969
is an indication,
1353
00:47:52,970 --> 00:47:53,970
yes, I am.
1354
00:47:54,657 --> 00:47:55,490
I've decided that purity rings
1355
00:47:55,491 --> 00:47:56,629
are no longer.
1356
00:47:56,630 --> 00:47:59,233
- Well then they are no
longer hip for the Oliver.
1357
00:48:00,620 --> 00:48:02,849
Young lady may entice away.
1358
00:48:02,850 --> 00:48:06,289
- Do you want to experience
my place or yours later?
1359
00:48:06,290 --> 00:48:09,399
- Oh, Oliver does not
want to wait that long.
1360
00:48:09,400 --> 00:48:10,629
How about
1361
00:48:10,630 --> 00:48:12,459
out back behind the dumpster?
1362
00:48:12,460 --> 00:48:14,016
- Dumpster fucking?
1363
00:48:14,017 --> 00:48:15,329
Yeah.
1364
00:48:15,330 --> 00:48:16,349
- Oliver,
1365
00:48:16,350 --> 00:48:17,789
please.
1366
00:48:17,790 --> 00:48:18,720
- Oh cousin Harold,
1367
00:48:18,721 --> 00:48:20,819
I suppose you're right.
1368
00:48:20,820 --> 00:48:23,750
How about we go back to my place
1369
00:48:24,660 --> 00:48:27,539
and we experience a bottle
of single malt scotch
1370
00:48:27,540 --> 00:48:29,136
and I will show you my huge
1371
00:48:29,137 --> 00:48:31,259
vinyl collection.
1372
00:48:31,260 --> 00:48:33,396
- Okay.
1373
00:48:33,397 --> 00:48:34,757
- My work here is done.
1374
00:48:34,758 --> 00:48:35,591
- Thank you, cousin Harold.
1375
00:48:35,591 --> 00:48:36,591
Thank you.
1376
00:48:44,556 --> 00:48:47,216
- Did she say dumpster fucking?
1377
00:48:47,217 --> 00:48:49,735
- I believe they said
dumpster fucking.
1378
00:48:49,736 --> 00:48:50,569
Have you ever dumpster fucked?
1379
00:48:50,570 --> 00:48:52,639
- I've never had
a dumpster fuck,
1380
00:48:52,640 --> 00:48:55,077
but I've had a handjob behind
the Tasty Freeze one time.
1381
00:48:55,078 --> 00:48:57,647
- That sounds like you.
1382
00:49:09,162 --> 00:49:10,694
- You how I feel about
those tractor shots.
1383
00:49:10,695 --> 00:49:11,528
It's just kind of like,
1384
00:49:11,529 --> 00:49:13,109
actually that guy up there
1385
00:49:13,110 --> 00:49:14,110
on the TV.
1386
00:49:14,111 --> 00:49:15,799
He seems like a guy who
probably put himself
1387
00:49:15,800 --> 00:49:17,278
in his own movies.
1388
00:49:17,279 --> 00:49:19,675
- Yeah, multiple movies
on the same subject.
1389
00:49:19,676 --> 00:49:22,669
- Always in the same bars,
1390
00:49:22,670 --> 00:49:24,052
in the same locations,
1391
00:49:24,053 --> 00:49:26,936
and it's always the
same gay dick jokes.
1392
00:49:26,937 --> 00:49:28,599
- Constantly.
1393
00:49:28,600 --> 00:49:30,149
Because the only thing
this guy finds funny
1394
00:49:30,150 --> 00:49:33,177
is dick jokes after a life
of touring and bar hopping.
1395
00:49:33,178 --> 00:49:35,119
- Drinking nothing but scotch.
1396
00:49:35,120 --> 00:49:37,009
Pretty sure it just
runs through his veins
1397
00:49:37,010 --> 00:49:37,920
and he just like
1398
00:49:37,921 --> 00:49:39,955
pisses straight scotch.
1399
00:49:39,956 --> 00:49:41,589
- Burns all the time.
1400
00:49:41,590 --> 00:49:43,715
You can never tell when
he's got the clap.
1401
00:49:43,716 --> 00:49:46,299
- I mean I'm sure he's got
some good drugs for that.
1402
00:49:46,300 --> 00:49:48,355
But three movies.
1403
00:49:48,356 --> 00:49:50,199
Fuck.
1404
00:49:50,200 --> 00:49:52,478
Kevin Smith won't even
make a third Clerks.
1405
00:49:52,479 --> 00:49:53,673
- Definitely not.
1406
00:49:55,476 --> 00:49:57,219
- Strip clubs,
1407
00:49:57,220 --> 00:49:58,734
pornography shops,
1408
00:49:58,735 --> 00:49:59,710
come on Boss.
1409
00:49:59,711 --> 00:50:02,659
There's got to be
something else out there.
1410
00:50:02,660 --> 00:50:04,673
- What would you suggest I do?
1411
00:50:04,674 --> 00:50:07,619
- Christian bookstores.
1412
00:50:07,620 --> 00:50:08,689
- Boss.
1413
00:50:08,690 --> 00:50:10,339
This is the Boss.
1414
00:50:10,340 --> 00:50:11,439
He owns a strip club
1415
00:50:11,440 --> 00:50:13,659
and an adult bookstore in town.
1416
00:50:13,660 --> 00:50:15,329
This guy's former boss.
1417
00:50:15,330 --> 00:50:17,336
The Adult Shop Mop.
1418
00:50:17,337 --> 00:50:19,219
- Okay, the idea of
1419
00:50:19,220 --> 00:50:22,396
being in business is
to stay in business.
1420
00:50:22,397 --> 00:50:24,019
You realize that, right.
1421
00:50:24,020 --> 00:50:26,201
Hey, you're a good kid.
1422
00:50:26,202 --> 00:50:27,939
Everybody likes you, Elias.
1423
00:50:27,940 --> 00:50:29,739
You know they call
you AA Elias now
1424
00:50:29,740 --> 00:50:31,199
cause of that weekend.
1425
00:50:31,200 --> 00:50:32,478
But that's okay.
1426
00:50:32,479 --> 00:50:33,450
AA's probably good.
1427
00:50:33,451 --> 00:50:35,219
Alcoholics anonymous
works for some people
1428
00:50:35,220 --> 00:50:36,749
and seems to
1429
00:50:36,750 --> 00:50:37,730
work pretty well for you.
1430
00:50:37,731 --> 00:50:38,779
And that's good.
1431
00:50:38,780 --> 00:50:40,439
Let me pose something to you.
1432
00:50:40,440 --> 00:50:42,718
Imagine there's a
good Christian man.
1433
00:50:42,719 --> 00:50:44,499
He goes to church
1434
00:50:44,500 --> 00:50:46,259
every Wednesday and Sunday.
1435
00:50:46,260 --> 00:50:48,019
Goes to bible study,
1436
00:50:48,020 --> 00:50:48,900
a great man,
1437
00:50:48,901 --> 00:50:50,369
very faithful.
1438
00:50:50,370 --> 00:50:52,070
He's driving down
the road one day
1439
00:50:53,359 --> 00:50:54,599
on his way to a bible study,
1440
00:50:54,600 --> 00:50:55,562
soup kitchen,
1441
00:50:55,563 --> 00:50:57,669
what have you.
1442
00:50:57,670 --> 00:50:59,337
He gets a tightness
in his chest.
1443
00:50:59,338 --> 00:51:02,089
It's pains in his arms.
1444
00:51:02,090 --> 00:51:03,977
Realizes he's having
a heart attack,
1445
00:51:03,978 --> 00:51:06,361
pulls off to the
very first place
1446
00:51:06,362 --> 00:51:07,799
he could find
1447
00:51:07,800 --> 00:51:08,800
to seek out help.
1448
00:51:09,690 --> 00:51:11,999
He dies on the floor
of that business.
1449
00:51:12,000 --> 00:51:13,209
Say it's
1450
00:51:13,210 --> 00:51:14,729
my adult bookstore
1451
00:51:14,730 --> 00:51:16,479
or one of my strip clubs.
1452
00:51:16,480 --> 00:51:18,189
The news will read
1453
00:51:18,190 --> 00:51:20,699
77 year old man dies
of a heart attack
1454
00:51:20,700 --> 00:51:22,129
at 10:00 AM in the morning
1455
00:51:22,130 --> 00:51:24,379
at an adult bookstore
or strip club.
1456
00:51:24,380 --> 00:51:26,617
You're automatically gonna
think this man is bad.
1457
00:51:26,618 --> 00:51:28,689
Let's go the other side.
1458
00:51:28,690 --> 00:51:30,429
Imagine there is an awful guy.
1459
00:51:30,430 --> 00:51:32,442
A guys that goes to my
strip clubs all the time.
1460
00:51:32,443 --> 00:51:34,719
He's at my adult bookstores,
1461
00:51:34,720 --> 00:51:36,279
complete porn hound.
1462
00:51:36,280 --> 00:51:37,829
A complete reprobate.
1463
00:51:37,830 --> 00:51:38,849
A drunk.
1464
00:51:38,850 --> 00:51:39,850
A whore monger.
1465
00:51:41,050 --> 00:51:42,637
He's driving down
the road one day.
1466
00:51:42,638 --> 00:51:44,517
It's a tightness in his chest.
1467
00:51:44,518 --> 00:51:46,499
Pains in his arms.
1468
00:51:46,500 --> 00:51:48,299
Knows he's gonna
have a heart attack.
1469
00:51:48,300 --> 00:51:50,189
Pulls off to the very
first place he can find
1470
00:51:50,190 --> 00:51:51,579
to seek out help,
1471
00:51:51,580 --> 00:51:53,069
and it's a church.
1472
00:51:53,070 --> 00:51:54,439
The news will read
1473
00:51:54,440 --> 00:51:55,729
77 year old man
1474
00:51:55,730 --> 00:51:57,716
dies of a heart
attack at 10:00 AM
1475
00:51:57,717 --> 00:51:59,289
on a Wednesday morning
1476
00:51:59,290 --> 00:52:00,529
at a church.
1477
00:52:00,530 --> 00:52:03,416
You're automatically
gonna think he's good.
1478
00:52:03,417 --> 00:52:05,193
- Well,
1479
00:52:06,100 --> 00:52:07,923
at least I tried.
1480
00:52:09,190 --> 00:52:11,019
- Always remember this,
1481
00:52:11,020 --> 00:52:12,869
amazing grace was
written by an atheist
1482
00:52:12,870 --> 00:52:14,289
who was saved.
1483
00:52:14,290 --> 00:52:16,149
So never stop trying.
1484
00:52:16,150 --> 00:52:16,983
You're good man.
1485
00:52:16,984 --> 00:52:18,595
- Thanks Boss.
1486
00:52:18,596 --> 00:52:19,598
See you later.
1487
00:52:19,599 --> 00:52:20,599
- Bye.
1488
00:52:28,810 --> 00:52:30,199
- Praise be.
1489
00:52:30,200 --> 00:52:31,529
Last time I saw
an ass like that,
1490
00:52:31,530 --> 00:52:33,699
it was carrying our
lord and savior.
1491
00:52:33,700 --> 00:52:34,859
- Are you seriously
1492
00:52:34,860 --> 00:52:36,479
objectifying her right now?
1493
00:52:36,480 --> 00:52:38,729
- No, I'm not objectifying her.
1494
00:52:38,730 --> 00:52:40,369
I'm just looking at her ass.
1495
00:52:40,370 --> 00:52:41,389
What's up with you broads
1496
00:52:41,390 --> 00:52:42,489
making up words and shit.
1497
00:52:42,490 --> 00:52:43,360
I'm trying to
1498
00:52:43,360 --> 00:52:44,240
get my dick wet.
1499
00:52:44,241 --> 00:52:45,939
Talk to you later.
1500
00:52:45,940 --> 00:52:46,940
Anyway,
1501
00:52:47,759 --> 00:52:49,799
I feel like you can be Columbine
1502
00:52:49,800 --> 00:52:51,632
and I decide to shoot a bunch
of kids inside of you.
1503
00:52:51,633 --> 00:52:54,109
Hmm?
1504
00:52:54,110 --> 00:52:55,389
You know mid 90s,
1505
00:52:55,390 --> 00:52:56,409
you're a pog.
1506
00:52:56,410 --> 00:52:58,595
I just start slamming that shit.
1507
00:52:58,596 --> 00:53:00,379
Maybe you pull a Fonz
1508
00:53:00,380 --> 00:53:02,537
and just bang against
the jukebox til.
1509
00:53:02,538 --> 00:53:04,199
Incubus plays,
1510
00:53:04,200 --> 00:53:05,869
whatever that shit
is you're into.
1511
00:53:05,870 --> 00:53:06,850
Kati Perry?
1512
00:53:06,850 --> 00:53:07,683
Taylor Swift?
1513
00:53:07,683 --> 00:53:08,516
I don't know
1514
00:53:08,516 --> 00:53:09,430
how old we are yet.
1515
00:53:09,431 --> 00:53:10,890
Can you get a drink?
1516
00:53:10,891 --> 00:53:11,780
Do you need a drink?
1517
00:53:11,781 --> 00:53:13,049
- Hey Boss.
1518
00:53:13,050 --> 00:53:14,609
- Matthew.
1519
00:53:14,610 --> 00:53:15,443
- How's it going?
1520
00:53:15,444 --> 00:53:16,869
- Kevin, get
1521
00:53:16,870 --> 00:53:18,625
this bro a drink on me.
1522
00:53:18,626 --> 00:53:21,208
So scotch?
1523
00:53:21,209 --> 00:53:22,579
- Definitely.
1524
00:53:22,580 --> 00:53:23,753
Definitely scotch.
1525
00:53:24,612 --> 00:53:26,611
- I got this Highland
Park viking scotch.
1526
00:53:26,612 --> 00:53:28,879
Kevin suggested it.
1527
00:53:28,880 --> 00:53:29,713
- Viking's honor.
1528
00:53:29,713 --> 00:53:30,713
- Viking's honor.
1529
00:53:32,290 --> 00:53:34,349
Good for us Norwegians.
1530
00:53:34,350 --> 00:53:36,229
- Yeah, but you know
what's not good for us.
1531
00:53:36,230 --> 00:53:38,329
What the fuck is this
AA pamphlet doing here?
1532
00:53:38,330 --> 00:53:40,599
AA Elias in here?
1533
00:53:40,600 --> 00:53:42,131
- Yeah, he was just in here.
1534
00:53:42,132 --> 00:53:44,725
- I thought I saw that
snail trail leading in.
1535
00:53:44,726 --> 00:53:46,879
- Oh you heard about
that weekend, huh?
1536
00:53:46,880 --> 00:53:48,279
- Yeah.
1537
00:53:48,280 --> 00:53:49,545
The bender to remember.
1538
00:53:49,546 --> 00:53:50,966
- Alcoholics anonymous
1539
00:53:50,967 --> 00:53:53,029
suits people like him.
1540
00:53:53,030 --> 00:53:55,029
That was a hell of
a weekend for him.
1541
00:53:55,030 --> 00:53:55,863
I mean Jesus,
1542
00:53:55,864 --> 00:53:57,267
parents got to him
late Sunday night.
1543
00:53:57,268 --> 00:53:58,849
His liver's inflamed.
1544
00:53:58,850 --> 00:54:01,369
He's got the worst case of
chlamydia or gonorrhea.
1545
00:54:01,370 --> 00:54:04,385
That kid could not handle
a weekend of liqueur.
1546
00:54:04,386 --> 00:54:06,059
That was really,
1547
00:54:06,060 --> 00:54:07,984
I heard it was an epic weekend.
1548
00:54:07,985 --> 00:54:09,309
I heard it was a lot of fun.
1549
00:54:09,310 --> 00:54:11,239
- I saw him at the
beginning of that weekend.
1550
00:54:11,240 --> 00:54:15,029
He showed up with a
bottle of scotch
1551
00:54:15,030 --> 00:54:15,908
ready to roll.
1552
00:54:15,909 --> 00:54:17,411
- Oh yeah, he was a ball.
1553
00:54:17,412 --> 00:54:20,709
But yeah, I think
alcoholics anonymous
1554
00:54:20,710 --> 00:54:23,171
is the correct position for him.
1555
00:54:23,172 --> 00:54:24,169
I think that's the
1556
00:54:24,170 --> 00:54:25,919
great place for him.
1557
00:54:25,920 --> 00:54:27,039
- Hey,
1558
00:54:27,040 --> 00:54:28,629
coasters?
1559
00:54:28,630 --> 00:54:30,099
- I didn't see any.
1560
00:54:30,100 --> 00:54:31,587
Kevin, you got coasters?
1561
00:54:31,588 --> 00:54:33,027
- We're all out.
1562
00:54:39,730 --> 00:54:40,730
- AA works.
1563
00:54:41,396 --> 00:54:42,229
- AA works.
1564
00:54:42,229 --> 00:54:43,229
- Alright.
1565
00:54:43,980 --> 00:54:45,529
- Do you need someone to
co-sign a loan for you?
1566
00:54:45,530 --> 00:54:47,353
I don't know where
you're at in your life.
1567
00:54:49,260 --> 00:54:50,759
Would you like to see
how much of my penis
1568
00:54:50,760 --> 00:54:51,710
could fit in your mouth?
1569
00:54:51,711 --> 00:54:53,519
I think you could almost
get the whole thing.
1570
00:54:53,520 --> 00:54:54,749
You seem like you have
1571
00:54:54,750 --> 00:54:55,583
like a really
1572
00:54:55,584 --> 00:54:57,819
just can do attitude,
1573
00:54:57,820 --> 00:54:58,869
you know what I mean.
1574
00:54:58,870 --> 00:55:00,349
You're a fighter.
1575
00:55:00,350 --> 00:55:01,270
You're a survivor.
1576
00:55:01,271 --> 00:55:02,904
- Are you a letter?
1577
00:55:02,905 --> 00:55:04,744
- I've been told
that I'm a D before.
1578
00:55:04,745 --> 00:55:06,503
So.
1579
00:55:06,504 --> 00:55:07,505
- As in a douchebag?
1580
00:55:07,506 --> 00:55:08,500
- Like dick.
1581
00:55:08,501 --> 00:55:11,709
I don't know if it's a big
one, but it's a pretty cock.
1582
00:55:11,710 --> 00:55:12,580
It's nice to look at.
1583
00:55:12,581 --> 00:55:13,979
- Anyway.
1584
00:55:13,980 --> 00:55:14,900
Since you're a letter,
1585
00:55:14,901 --> 00:55:16,584
I'm gonna need you
to C your way out.
1586
00:55:16,585 --> 00:55:17,739
- Oh, that's funny.
1587
00:55:17,740 --> 00:55:20,937
I'm gonna need to see
you M on those tits.
1588
00:55:22,562 --> 00:55:23,565
- I was actually
1589
00:55:23,566 --> 00:55:24,470
one of your businesses today.
1590
00:55:24,471 --> 00:55:26,009
- Well thank you for
your patronage.
1591
00:55:26,010 --> 00:55:27,464
- Yeah.
1592
00:55:29,060 --> 00:55:30,309
- That's classic.
1593
00:55:30,310 --> 00:55:32,184
Alright, which
place were you at?
1594
00:55:32,185 --> 00:55:33,763
- Mini cinema.
1595
00:55:33,764 --> 00:55:35,259
- Did you wash your hands
1596
00:55:35,260 --> 00:55:36,685
before you shook my hand there?
1597
00:55:36,686 --> 00:55:38,744
- Shit.
1598
00:55:38,745 --> 00:55:40,525
- That's okay, that's okay.
1599
00:55:41,588 --> 00:55:43,749
- So it was weird.
1600
00:55:43,750 --> 00:55:44,657
I went in there
1601
00:55:44,658 --> 00:55:46,744
and I didn't see
Porn peddler Pete.
1602
00:55:46,745 --> 00:55:49,041
- Oh, he doesn't
work for me anymore.
1603
00:55:49,042 --> 00:55:52,299
- What happened?
1604
00:55:52,300 --> 00:55:54,482
- Well he pirated pornography.
1605
00:55:54,483 --> 00:55:56,435
I can't stand for that.
1606
00:55:56,436 --> 00:55:58,639
I mean when you
sell pornography,
1607
00:55:58,640 --> 00:56:00,159
you have to pay the taxes,
1608
00:56:00,160 --> 00:56:01,439
the rights,
1609
00:56:01,440 --> 00:56:02,744
all these different
fees towards it.
1610
00:56:02,745 --> 00:56:04,499
He didn't do that.
1611
00:56:04,500 --> 00:56:05,549
That's not right.
1612
00:56:05,550 --> 00:56:07,559
People spend a lot
of time and money
1613
00:56:07,560 --> 00:56:08,440
making pornography.
1614
00:56:08,441 --> 00:56:10,089
They should be paid
1615
00:56:10,090 --> 00:56:11,923
a living wage for such things.
1616
00:56:11,924 --> 00:56:15,069
Yeah, so he was
pirating pornography
1617
00:56:15,070 --> 00:56:15,950
all over town.
1618
00:56:15,951 --> 00:56:17,624
And I found out about it
1619
00:56:17,625 --> 00:56:18,560
and I had to let I'm go.
1620
00:56:18,560 --> 00:56:19,560
Broke his heart.
1621
00:56:19,560 --> 00:56:20,393
He loved that job.
1622
00:56:20,393 --> 00:56:21,330
- He did love that job.
1623
00:56:21,331 --> 00:56:22,769
Man, this whole time,
1624
00:56:22,770 --> 00:56:24,449
everybody thought you
were morally bankrupt.
1625
00:56:24,450 --> 00:56:26,542
I guess we were just
in a recession.
1626
00:56:27,521 --> 00:56:28,787
- Irony isn't it.
1627
00:56:28,788 --> 00:56:30,409
- Now you say it,
1628
00:56:30,410 --> 00:56:31,949
now I do remember
something about it.
1629
00:56:31,950 --> 00:56:33,919
I heard his house got raided.
1630
00:56:33,920 --> 00:56:34,949
Like the police came in,
1631
00:56:34,950 --> 00:56:36,156
swat team came in
1632
00:56:36,157 --> 00:56:38,504
and they found some
stuff in the basement.
1633
00:56:38,505 --> 00:56:40,299
- I didn't hear about this.
1634
00:56:40,300 --> 00:56:41,133
What?
1635
00:56:41,134 --> 00:56:42,723
- He had an archive
of secret things.
1636
00:56:42,724 --> 00:56:45,379
I mean it was almost
like Donnie Darko
1637
00:56:45,380 --> 00:56:46,849
and you realize Patrick Swayze
1638
00:56:46,850 --> 00:56:47,720
had like the
1639
00:56:47,721 --> 00:56:49,489
kiddie porn dungeon in there.
1640
00:56:49,490 --> 00:56:50,327
It wasn't like that.
1641
00:56:50,328 --> 00:56:52,409
It was a whole nother thing.
1642
00:56:52,410 --> 00:56:53,589
Raider porn.
1643
00:56:53,590 --> 00:56:54,423
- What's raider?
1644
00:56:54,423 --> 00:56:55,290
I've never heard
of a Raider porn.
1645
00:56:55,290 --> 00:56:56,290
What's Raider porn?
1646
00:56:57,510 --> 00:56:58,969
- It's when white supremacists
1647
00:56:58,970 --> 00:57:00,709
have furry parties
1648
00:57:00,710 --> 00:57:01,910
and they bang each other
1649
00:57:03,486 --> 00:57:04,319
and film it.
1650
00:57:04,320 --> 00:57:05,747
- But wait a minute.
1651
00:57:05,748 --> 00:57:06,610
How many animals in
the animal kingdom
1652
00:57:06,611 --> 00:57:07,689
are actually white?
1653
00:57:07,690 --> 00:57:09,085
- Like a snow leopard.
1654
00:57:09,086 --> 00:57:10,845
- You got doves.
1655
00:57:10,846 --> 00:57:14,693
Like an albino squirrel maybe.
1656
00:57:16,100 --> 00:57:17,329
- God man, a polar bear.
1657
00:57:17,330 --> 00:57:18,163
- Polar bear.
1658
00:57:18,164 --> 00:57:19,405
- Polar bear.
1659
00:57:19,406 --> 00:57:20,404
Yeah, polar bear.
1660
00:57:20,405 --> 00:57:22,489
- You know when it's
white supremacists
1661
00:57:22,490 --> 00:57:24,205
is all in the
missionary position.
1662
00:57:25,326 --> 00:57:26,300
So it's gonna be boring as hell.
1663
00:57:26,300 --> 00:57:27,133
- But wait a minute,
1664
00:57:27,134 --> 00:57:28,439
if a brown bear comes in
1665
00:57:28,440 --> 00:57:30,243
it just kind of throws
the whole thing off.
1666
00:57:30,244 --> 00:57:31,299
- Yeah.
1667
00:57:31,300 --> 00:57:32,961
They ain't letting this guy in.
1668
00:57:32,962 --> 00:57:33,981
Come on.
1669
00:57:33,982 --> 00:57:35,421
- Imagine he walks in,
1670
00:57:35,422 --> 00:57:36,942
do you mind if I dance
with your dates?
1671
00:57:37,502 --> 00:57:38,504
- Oh come on,
1672
00:57:38,505 --> 00:57:39,502
they're gonna worry about it.
1673
00:57:39,503 --> 00:57:40,504
They're gonna produce
some sort of skunk baby
1674
00:57:40,505 --> 00:57:41,502
in their minds.
1675
00:57:41,503 --> 00:57:42,504
Come on man.
1676
00:57:42,505 --> 00:57:43,502
That ain't gonna happen.
1677
00:57:43,503 --> 00:57:44,504
- Imagine a neo-Nazi
1678
00:57:44,505 --> 00:57:45,502
mid stroke in the
middle of raider porn
1679
00:57:45,503 --> 00:57:46,504
and a black bear walks in.
1680
00:57:46,505 --> 00:57:48,169
Allah, adult shop mop
1681
00:57:48,170 --> 00:57:49,864
and I'm soft.
1682
00:57:51,270 --> 00:57:52,130
- I mean hand job
1683
00:57:52,131 --> 00:57:53,439
even just,
1684
00:57:53,440 --> 00:57:55,139
I watch you, you watch me.
1685
00:57:55,140 --> 00:57:55,973
I would
1686
00:57:55,973 --> 00:57:56,837
eat ass,
1687
00:57:56,838 --> 00:57:58,399
but that would be like
1688
00:57:58,400 --> 00:57:59,330
eating at Benny Hannas
1689
00:57:59,330 --> 00:58:00,250
from the looks of things.
1690
00:58:00,250 --> 00:58:01,170
- Seriously?
1691
00:58:01,171 --> 00:58:02,607
- Yeah.
1692
00:58:02,608 --> 00:58:03,441
For serious, oh big time.
1693
00:58:03,441 --> 00:58:04,274
- This is the best you can
do to pick up a girl?
1694
00:58:04,275 --> 00:58:06,023
- I mean,
1695
00:58:06,024 --> 00:58:07,830
the next one is either
pull out a wallet
1696
00:58:07,831 --> 00:58:11,649
or get you in one of my dad's
Nissan's or something.
1697
00:58:11,650 --> 00:58:12,630
I don't know
1698
00:58:12,631 --> 00:58:14,230
what you're currently,
1699
00:58:14,231 --> 00:58:15,328
your like current APR is
1700
00:58:15,329 --> 00:58:16,162
or what your
1701
00:58:16,163 --> 00:58:17,349
as far as lease
goes or anything,
1702
00:58:17,350 --> 00:58:18,183
but I can get you a car.
1703
00:58:18,184 --> 00:58:19,387
I can get you money.
1704
00:58:19,388 --> 00:58:22,619
Some fake titties, or something.
1705
00:58:22,620 --> 00:58:23,453
Whatever you want,
1706
00:58:23,453 --> 00:58:24,286
I would do it for you.
1707
00:58:24,287 --> 00:58:26,048
- Dude, I am too good for you.
1708
00:58:26,049 --> 00:58:28,004
- There's only one
way to find out.
1709
00:58:28,005 --> 00:58:29,088
And a lot of times,
1710
00:58:29,089 --> 00:58:29,922
like the big trend right now
1711
00:58:29,923 --> 00:58:31,088
I've seen online is for women
1712
00:58:31,089 --> 00:58:31,922
to like carry men.
1713
00:58:31,922 --> 00:58:32,755
I can be that piece
of shit boyfriend
1714
00:58:32,756 --> 00:58:34,089
that all your
friends joke about.
1715
00:58:34,090 --> 00:58:34,923
And you know, really though,
1716
00:58:34,924 --> 00:58:35,953
when you come home,
1717
00:58:35,954 --> 00:58:36,787
I'm...
1718
00:58:36,787 --> 00:58:37,620
- Dude, I've been
there, done that, so.
1719
00:58:37,620 --> 00:58:38,526
- You haven't done
this yet tough.
1720
00:58:38,527 --> 00:58:40,029
- Raider porn.
1721
00:58:40,030 --> 00:58:41,339
There's actually raider porn.
1722
00:58:41,340 --> 00:58:42,173
That's not a joke?
1723
00:58:42,174 --> 00:58:43,507
- No dude.
1724
00:58:43,508 --> 00:58:44,508
I'm dead serious.
1725
00:58:44,509 --> 00:58:45,509
- Why the hell did he have
raider porn in his basement?
1726
00:58:45,509 --> 00:58:46,342
- I don't know man.
1727
00:58:46,343 --> 00:58:49,129
He had like some weird, sick
little obsession in there.
1728
00:58:49,130 --> 00:58:49,963
And he kept going with it.
1729
00:58:49,964 --> 00:58:51,139
- And the cops
1730
00:58:51,140 --> 00:58:52,279
came for it.
1731
00:58:52,280 --> 00:58:53,451
Oh god.
1732
00:58:53,452 --> 00:58:54,285
- They did dude.
1733
00:58:54,285 --> 00:58:55,118
- Oh my god.
1734
00:58:55,119 --> 00:58:56,939
I bet his nice little
Methodist mother
1735
00:58:56,940 --> 00:58:59,729
lost it when she saw
the cops showing up
1736
00:58:59,730 --> 00:59:01,050
to get his raider
porn collection.
1737
00:59:01,051 --> 00:59:02,592
- He was always in to like
1738
00:59:02,593 --> 00:59:03,611
weird figure skating,
1739
00:59:03,612 --> 00:59:04,445
but maybe because it's like
1740
00:59:04,446 --> 00:59:05,789
usually white petite girls.
1741
00:59:05,790 --> 00:59:06,652
- Well he was an interesting,
1742
00:59:06,653 --> 00:59:08,469
he was an interesting duck.
1743
00:59:08,470 --> 00:59:10,069
- Always kind of floating
through the air,
1744
00:59:10,070 --> 00:59:11,030
maybe like a bird.
1745
00:59:11,031 --> 00:59:12,230
- A strange kid, a strange kid.
1746
00:59:12,231 --> 00:59:13,749
But,
1747
00:59:13,750 --> 00:59:15,168
I can forgive all that.
1748
00:59:15,169 --> 00:59:17,009
But you don't pirate pornography
1749
00:59:17,010 --> 00:59:18,289
because people are
not being paid
1750
00:59:18,290 --> 00:59:19,910
the proper taxes,
fees and residuals
1751
00:59:19,911 --> 00:59:21,728
that they are entitled to.
1752
00:59:21,729 --> 00:59:23,739
But raider porn,
1753
00:59:23,740 --> 00:59:25,289
that's a bridge too far.
1754
00:59:25,290 --> 00:59:26,928
- Oh my god.
1755
00:59:26,929 --> 00:59:29,388
Look at this sack of shit.
1756
00:59:29,389 --> 00:59:30,699
Look at him.
1757
00:59:30,700 --> 00:59:31,745
- Oh Christ.
1758
00:59:31,746 --> 00:59:33,499
That is worse than
1759
00:59:33,500 --> 00:59:37,129
having raider porn is being
a stand up comedian.
1760
00:59:37,130 --> 00:59:39,659
- I heard that porno
Pete was actually
1761
00:59:39,660 --> 00:59:41,239
saying that he was
watching that stuff
1762
00:59:41,240 --> 00:59:43,414
to build up a stand
up comedy act.
1763
00:59:43,415 --> 00:59:44,719
- So his
1764
00:59:44,720 --> 00:59:47,712
excuse was I have a raider
porn collection to...
1765
00:59:47,713 --> 00:59:50,559
- Work on a bit.
1766
00:59:50,560 --> 00:59:51,759
- To work on a bit.
1767
00:59:51,760 --> 00:59:53,609
I think I'd rather
be a porn hound
1768
00:59:53,610 --> 00:59:55,152
than be a stand up comedian.
1769
00:59:55,153 --> 00:59:55,986
That is like the
lowest of the low.
1770
00:59:55,987 --> 00:59:57,226
- God, can you imagine what
it would have been like
1771
00:59:57,227 --> 00:59:59,129
if we had to go around like
1772
00:59:59,130 --> 01:00:00,670
the community...
1773
01:00:00,671 --> 01:00:01,671
- You had to go door to door
1774
01:00:01,672 --> 01:00:03,072
and tell everybody
he was a standup.
1775
01:00:04,570 --> 01:00:05,699
I'm sorry.
1776
01:00:05,700 --> 01:00:07,268
I'm Pete, I live down at...
1777
01:00:07,269 --> 01:00:09,449
- I live within your community.
1778
01:00:09,450 --> 01:00:10,283
- Oh my god.
1779
01:00:10,284 --> 01:00:12,054
What was his Methodist
more upset about?
1780
01:00:12,055 --> 01:00:13,639
The fact that he was
1781
01:00:13,640 --> 01:00:15,891
peddling porn and
pirating it all over town
1782
01:00:15,892 --> 01:00:18,229
or that he's gonna be
a stand up comedian?
1783
01:00:20,010 --> 01:00:21,209
- Dude, I don't know.
1784
01:00:21,210 --> 01:00:22,210
It's got.
1785
01:00:23,031 --> 01:00:24,230
Oh my god.
1786
01:00:24,231 --> 01:00:25,270
- Speaking, yeah, Jesus,
1787
01:00:25,271 --> 01:00:26,272
speaking of the devil,
1788
01:00:26,273 --> 01:00:27,271
look at that sack of shit.
1789
01:00:27,272 --> 01:00:28,294
Oh my god.
1790
01:00:28,295 --> 01:00:29,292
- Oh my god.
1791
01:00:29,293 --> 01:00:30,372
How embarrassing would that be.
1792
01:00:30,373 --> 01:00:31,574
- See,
1793
01:00:31,575 --> 01:00:34,839
I bet his parents are so proud.
1794
01:00:34,840 --> 01:00:35,673
Oh my god.
1795
01:00:35,674 --> 01:00:36,729
- Oh yeah, definitely.
1796
01:00:36,730 --> 01:00:38,779
That guys is just driving like
1797
01:00:38,780 --> 01:00:40,639
a red mustang
1798
01:00:40,640 --> 01:00:42,149
with a canvas top convertible.
1799
01:00:42,150 --> 01:00:43,819
Not even a V8, a V6.
1800
01:00:43,820 --> 01:00:44,700
Automatic.
1801
01:00:44,701 --> 01:00:46,309
- It was a V8.
1802
01:00:46,310 --> 01:00:48,331
I hope I'm never
1803
01:00:48,332 --> 01:00:51,094
that low that I have to
do something like that
1804
01:00:51,095 --> 01:00:52,299
to garner attention.
1805
01:00:52,300 --> 01:00:53,609
- Oh dude.
1806
01:00:53,610 --> 01:00:55,232
I'd rather be sucking dick
from behind in the alley
1807
01:00:55,233 --> 01:00:57,409
making decent wage off of that
1808
01:00:57,410 --> 01:00:58,879
than to ever have to
speak any kind of
1809
01:00:58,880 --> 01:01:00,449
words into a microphone.
1810
01:01:00,450 --> 01:01:01,949
- Matt, please, let's
make a promise
1811
01:01:01,950 --> 01:01:04,339
that we never, ever have
to do standup comedy.
1812
01:01:04,340 --> 01:01:05,340
- Yeah.
1813
01:01:09,550 --> 01:01:11,152
- Real quick, bathroom,
three minutes.
1814
01:01:11,153 --> 01:01:12,169
- I don't want to.
1815
01:01:12,170 --> 01:01:13,174
- Behind this jukebox?
1816
01:01:13,175 --> 01:01:14,170
We fucking pull this thing out.
1817
01:01:14,171 --> 01:01:15,174
- I really don't want to.
1818
01:01:15,175 --> 01:01:16,040
- That's okay.
1819
01:01:16,041 --> 01:01:17,396
I'll watch you do some stuff.
1820
01:01:17,397 --> 01:01:19,989
- Indeed rather have the
Bros two times over
1821
01:01:19,990 --> 01:01:21,689
than I'd have you.
1822
01:01:21,690 --> 01:01:23,409
- That'd probably
feel about the same.
1823
01:01:23,410 --> 01:01:24,934
You got a little
1824
01:01:24,935 --> 01:01:26,522
nubby nubby in each hand.
1825
01:01:26,523 --> 01:01:27,734
A little corn holder.
1826
01:01:27,735 --> 01:01:29,019
If that's what you want,
1827
01:01:29,020 --> 01:01:30,533
I'll arrange it.
1828
01:01:30,534 --> 01:01:31,367
I know them.
1829
01:01:31,368 --> 01:01:32,534
- They don't like you though.
1830
01:01:32,535 --> 01:01:34,002
- No one really
does, but I mean.
1831
01:01:34,003 --> 01:01:35,129
- Then why are you here?
1832
01:01:35,130 --> 01:01:38,539
If no one likes you,
then why are you here?
1833
01:01:38,540 --> 01:01:40,134
Why don't you go fuck off?
1834
01:01:40,135 --> 01:01:42,192
Back to Douche land?
1835
01:01:42,193 --> 01:01:43,449
- I will do that.
1836
01:01:43,450 --> 01:01:44,999
If you change your mind,
1837
01:01:45,000 --> 01:01:46,219
- I'll be over here.
- I won't.
1838
01:01:46,220 --> 01:01:47,111
- That's okay.
1839
01:01:47,112 --> 01:01:48,132
- You might.
- So fuck off.
1840
01:01:48,133 --> 01:01:48,966
- I've got that thing
1841
01:01:48,966 --> 01:01:49,799
in the back of your mind.
1842
01:01:49,800 --> 01:01:50,849
You'll be thinking about it.
1843
01:01:50,850 --> 01:01:51,683
- Nope.
- Think about it.
1844
01:01:51,684 --> 01:01:53,064
- Fuck off.
1845
01:01:53,065 --> 01:01:55,389
- God.
1846
01:01:55,390 --> 01:01:56,609
I can't get any pussy
in this place.
1847
01:01:56,610 --> 01:01:58,349
I might as well go fucking
kings and queens.
1848
01:01:58,350 --> 01:01:59,659
- Jesus Christ dude,
1849
01:01:59,660 --> 01:02:01,426
you're objectifying that sliz.
1850
01:02:01,427 --> 01:02:03,109
- What does that even mean?
1851
01:02:03,110 --> 01:02:04,249
Objectifying?
1852
01:02:04,250 --> 01:02:05,943
You sound like one
of those broads man.
1853
01:02:05,944 --> 01:02:07,211
- You know,
1854
01:02:07,212 --> 01:02:08,799
loose morals,
1855
01:02:08,800 --> 01:02:09,751
a little bit of loose action.
1856
01:02:09,751 --> 01:02:10,584
That's what I mean.
1857
01:02:10,585 --> 01:02:13,339
- Yeah, then objectifying I was.
1858
01:02:13,340 --> 01:02:15,719
It's my objective all
night to do that.
1859
01:02:15,720 --> 01:02:17,322
Trying to find some clam, man.
1860
01:02:17,323 --> 01:02:18,230
A little slam clam.
1861
01:02:18,230 --> 01:02:19,230
Clam digger.
1862
01:02:20,900 --> 01:02:22,059
Anything I can do
to muff some duff.
1863
01:02:22,060 --> 01:02:24,459
- I didn't realize your
a shoreman yourself.
1864
01:02:24,460 --> 01:02:25,569
Nectar Wookie,
1865
01:02:25,570 --> 01:02:26,899
a lifeless idiot
1866
01:02:26,900 --> 01:02:27,880
whose whole existence
1867
01:02:27,881 --> 01:02:30,150
consists of following around
bands like Base Nectar.
1868
01:02:30,151 --> 01:02:32,699
When they're not out
selling bunk drugs,
1869
01:02:32,700 --> 01:02:34,599
veggie burritos and
grilled cheese,
1870
01:02:34,600 --> 01:02:36,189
they're often swiping drinks
1871
01:02:36,190 --> 01:02:38,729
and trying to borrow
literally everything
1872
01:02:38,730 --> 01:02:40,599
at music festivals.
1873
01:02:40,600 --> 01:02:43,829
A Nectar Wookie is the
natural enemy of a hipster,
1874
01:02:43,830 --> 01:02:45,379
kind of like in Twilight
1875
01:02:45,380 --> 01:02:47,254
with the vampires
and werewolves.
1876
01:02:47,255 --> 01:02:50,909
Hey, Kristen Steward is a jew.
1877
01:02:50,910 --> 01:02:52,999
Why else would she get
with a 100 year old guy
1878
01:02:53,000 --> 01:02:54,811
with a nice german car?
1879
01:02:58,687 --> 01:03:00,589
- I don't mean to cause alarm,
1880
01:03:00,590 --> 01:03:02,912
but doth my nostrils deceive me,
1881
01:03:02,913 --> 01:03:05,509
we have a nectar wookie
1882
01:03:05,510 --> 01:03:06,510
in our midst.
1883
01:03:08,150 --> 01:03:10,479
- Oh, I'm sorry yeah.
1884
01:03:10,480 --> 01:03:11,313
That's me.
1885
01:03:11,314 --> 01:03:12,811
I haven't,
1886
01:03:12,812 --> 01:03:14,208
I haven't showered
in a few weeks, so.
1887
01:03:14,209 --> 01:03:16,870
- Also, Bonoroo has a
bathroom in a few weeks.
1888
01:03:16,871 --> 01:03:18,919
- No, that's,
1889
01:03:18,920 --> 01:03:20,672
that's actually next week,
1890
01:03:20,673 --> 01:03:22,192
I'm pretty sure.
1891
01:03:22,193 --> 01:03:23,202
Yeah.
1892
01:03:23,203 --> 01:03:24,813
- I don't have marijuana.
1893
01:03:26,200 --> 01:03:28,023
That drink was not yours.
1894
01:03:28,929 --> 01:03:31,769
Bonoroo is that way.
1895
01:03:31,770 --> 01:03:33,259
- Oh, okay.
1896
01:03:33,260 --> 01:03:34,879
- Yeah, Phish is about
to take the stage man.
1897
01:03:34,880 --> 01:03:35,919
You should go.
1898
01:03:35,920 --> 01:03:37,149
- Guess what,
1899
01:03:37,150 --> 01:03:38,040
guess what,
1900
01:03:38,041 --> 01:03:39,139
Base Nectar
1901
01:03:39,140 --> 01:03:40,719
not on the jukebox.
1902
01:03:40,720 --> 01:03:42,099
How about you dubstep
1903
01:03:42,100 --> 01:03:43,379
walk away from the situation
1904
01:03:43,380 --> 01:03:44,949
you fucking wookie.
1905
01:03:44,950 --> 01:03:45,790
- Jesus, okay.
1906
01:03:45,790 --> 01:03:46,623
I'm sorry.
1907
01:03:46,624 --> 01:03:48,149
- Stay the fuck out
of gong fu, okay.
1908
01:03:48,150 --> 01:03:49,328
- By the way,
1909
01:03:49,329 --> 01:03:51,190
you guys have any mushrooms?
1910
01:03:51,191 --> 01:03:52,308
- Get the fuck out of here.
1911
01:03:52,309 --> 01:03:53,290
We don't have anything.
1912
01:03:53,291 --> 01:03:55,490
- Fucking Mark Walberg
in Rock Star.
1913
01:03:57,964 --> 01:03:59,029
- That's not a bad
movie, honestly.
1914
01:03:59,030 --> 01:04:01,081
- Hey, did you see what
happened to my drink?
1915
01:04:01,082 --> 01:04:03,119
- Sorry man.
1916
01:04:03,120 --> 01:04:05,169
The fucking woff took it.
1917
01:04:05,170 --> 01:04:06,003
- Sorry man.
1918
01:04:06,004 --> 01:04:07,259
- Thanks for looking out, man.
1919
01:04:07,260 --> 01:04:09,523
Bartender, get these
bros a drink on me.
1920
01:04:11,710 --> 01:04:13,459
- So bros, it's last call.
1921
01:04:13,460 --> 01:04:14,949
What are you thinking?
1922
01:04:14,950 --> 01:04:15,979
- Scotch.
1923
01:04:15,980 --> 01:04:17,149
- Scotch.
1924
01:04:17,150 --> 01:04:18,439
- Scotch?
1925
01:04:18,440 --> 01:04:19,273
- Scotch.
1926
01:04:19,274 --> 01:04:20,442
- Scotch.
1927
01:04:20,443 --> 01:04:21,446
- Better not be Doers.
1928
01:04:21,447 --> 01:04:22,444
- Alright, bros,
1929
01:04:22,445 --> 01:04:23,601
this is Singleton,
1930
01:04:23,602 --> 01:04:24,652
the Glenlive 12 year,
1931
01:04:25,500 --> 01:04:26,779
single malt.
1932
01:04:26,780 --> 01:04:27,919
You know about that, Harold.
1933
01:04:27,920 --> 01:04:30,033
- Hey, it's not Doers
guys, we're good.
1934
01:04:32,983 --> 01:04:34,143
- We'll pour it neat.
1935
01:04:34,723 --> 01:04:36,785
- You know what that means?
1936
01:04:36,786 --> 01:04:37,619
- No.
1937
01:04:37,620 --> 01:04:38,705
- Harold.
1938
01:04:38,706 --> 01:04:40,187
- Yes?
1939
01:04:40,188 --> 01:04:42,369
- You're pouring
it really quick.
1940
01:04:42,370 --> 01:04:43,641
That's neat man.
1941
01:04:43,642 --> 01:04:45,193
Neato.
1942
01:04:48,082 --> 01:04:48,915
- What I'm gonna do now
1943
01:04:48,916 --> 01:04:50,801
is I'm gonna put a
couple drops of water
1944
01:04:50,802 --> 01:04:51,635
in each one.
1945
01:04:51,636 --> 01:04:53,499
It changes the
molecular density.
1946
01:04:53,500 --> 01:04:54,500
It opens it up.
1947
01:04:55,320 --> 01:04:56,769
- Like a bouquet.
1948
01:04:56,770 --> 01:04:57,999
- Exactly.
1949
01:04:58,000 --> 01:04:59,319
- Like a lady's legs.
1950
01:04:59,320 --> 01:05:00,770
- With the best water
1951
01:05:01,724 --> 01:05:02,570
in the valley.
1952
01:05:02,571 --> 01:05:04,389
Actually in the world.
1953
01:05:04,390 --> 01:05:05,390
- Yep.
1954
01:05:06,220 --> 01:05:08,158
- Best hangover cure
1955
01:05:08,159 --> 01:05:09,589
right there.
1956
01:05:09,590 --> 01:05:11,229
Water.
1957
01:05:11,230 --> 01:05:13,280
- I wish we had some
Roy Orbesen records.
1958
01:05:21,308 --> 01:05:23,377
Is that how you
discard your scotch?
1959
01:05:23,378 --> 01:05:25,142
- Yeah, is there another way?
1960
01:05:25,143 --> 01:05:26,799
- My god, you're still doing
1961
01:05:26,800 --> 01:05:28,449
fucking Big League Chew?
1962
01:05:28,450 --> 01:05:29,283
- Fucking A right man,
1963
01:05:29,284 --> 01:05:30,561
cause I'm a pro.
1964
01:05:30,562 --> 01:05:31,598
- We should have
given him Doers.
1965
01:05:31,599 --> 01:05:35,745
- What is the next
plan of attack?
1966
01:05:35,746 --> 01:05:37,599
Cause this is a lot of
fun and all, but...
1967
01:05:37,600 --> 01:05:39,281
- I have a Lyft.
1968
01:05:39,282 --> 01:05:40,881
- Who?
1969
01:05:40,882 --> 01:05:43,079
- Somebody named Ling.
1970
01:05:43,080 --> 01:05:44,099
- No.
1971
01:05:44,100 --> 01:05:45,100
No, no, no, no.
1972
01:05:46,343 --> 01:05:47,629
Trust me.
1973
01:05:47,630 --> 01:05:49,649
I got pepper sprayed
by that broad.
1974
01:05:49,650 --> 01:05:50,779
No.
1975
01:05:50,780 --> 01:05:52,081
- I'm from Brooklyn,
you motherfucker.
1976
01:05:52,082 --> 01:05:53,050
- Wait, wait,
1977
01:05:53,051 --> 01:05:54,742
there's a Brooklyn in China?
1978
01:05:54,743 --> 01:05:56,843
- I sprayed her with my pepper.
1979
01:05:56,844 --> 01:05:58,866
- Oh, I think I heard of that.
1980
01:05:58,867 --> 01:06:01,119
Did she join AA
Elias after that?
1981
01:06:01,120 --> 01:06:02,709
- Oh hell yeah, she did.
1982
01:06:02,710 --> 01:06:03,543
- Okay.
1983
01:06:03,544 --> 01:06:04,763
- Oh yeah.
1984
01:06:04,764 --> 01:06:05,949
- Yeah I'd sober up if I
had to bang this guy.
1985
01:06:05,950 --> 01:06:06,783
- I'm just saying,
1986
01:06:06,783 --> 01:06:07,616
if I had my dick inside you you,
1987
01:06:07,617 --> 01:06:09,323
your gonna make some good
positive changes in life.
1988
01:06:09,324 --> 01:06:10,599
- My god.
1989
01:06:10,600 --> 01:06:12,059
Look, I'm gonna get on.
1990
01:06:12,060 --> 01:06:13,010
Uber right now.
1991
01:06:13,011 --> 01:06:14,979
I know I'm not gonna get
in the fucking Uber Jew.
1992
01:06:14,980 --> 01:06:16,159
- Oh, the Uber Jew.
1993
01:06:16,160 --> 01:06:17,289
Yah.
1994
01:06:17,290 --> 01:06:18,449
- Uber Jew?
1995
01:06:18,450 --> 01:06:19,283
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
1996
01:06:19,284 --> 01:06:20,799
- It seems a little
1997
01:06:20,800 --> 01:06:22,305
antisemitic and maybe
a bit tasteless.
1998
01:06:22,306 --> 01:06:23,909
- Oh my god.
1999
01:06:23,910 --> 01:06:27,409
It's not like I fucking called
in the sheeny shuttler.
2000
01:06:27,410 --> 01:06:29,803
Fucking kike cart dude.
2001
01:06:29,804 --> 01:06:31,559
Oh my god dude.
2002
01:06:31,560 --> 01:06:33,239
- I'm on the old hieve highway.
2003
01:06:33,240 --> 01:06:35,613
- Hey,
2004
01:06:37,858 --> 01:06:38,850
- I wouldn't say I'm gay.
2005
01:06:38,851 --> 01:06:41,361
But I've definitely done
some gay shit, dude.
2006
01:06:41,362 --> 01:06:43,294
- Yeah you have.
2007
01:06:43,295 --> 01:06:44,223
- Yeah.
2008
01:06:44,224 --> 01:06:45,259
- We're fully aware.
2009
01:06:45,260 --> 01:06:47,161
- You haven't?
2010
01:06:47,162 --> 01:06:50,469
No?
2011
01:06:50,470 --> 01:06:51,935
- No.
2012
01:06:51,936 --> 01:06:52,884
- Harold was never
2013
01:06:52,885 --> 01:06:54,177
partook in homosexual.
2014
01:06:54,178 --> 01:06:55,011
- You're gonna tell
me with that jacket,
2015
01:06:55,012 --> 01:06:57,573
and that beard you guys have
never done anything gay?
2016
01:06:59,100 --> 01:07:00,883
- Maybe watched the WNBA.
2017
01:07:03,680 --> 01:07:05,374
- I would tell you,
2018
01:07:05,375 --> 01:07:06,574
if you got more in touch
2019
01:07:06,575 --> 01:07:07,408
with your male side,
2020
01:07:07,409 --> 01:07:08,679
you might have,
2021
01:07:08,680 --> 01:07:09,513
I don't know,
2022
01:07:09,514 --> 01:07:11,052
more luck getting women.
2023
01:07:11,053 --> 01:07:12,739
- I actually prefer the WNBA.
2024
01:07:12,740 --> 01:07:14,195
It's more a team sport.
2025
01:07:16,091 --> 01:07:17,649
- The only reason you
like watching the WNBA
2026
01:07:17,650 --> 01:07:18,969
is because a lot of those ladies
2027
01:07:18,970 --> 01:07:20,229
have Adam's apples.
2028
01:07:20,230 --> 01:07:21,598
- I really appreciate
their talent.
2029
01:07:21,599 --> 01:07:22,590
- God, would you be in to it
2030
01:07:22,591 --> 01:07:23,869
if they did?
2031
01:07:23,870 --> 01:07:25,338
- No, dude.
2032
01:07:25,339 --> 01:07:27,669
I'm like a fucking
ancient Roman warrior.
2033
01:07:27,670 --> 01:07:30,069
That is the only reason why
me and my other male friends
2034
01:07:30,070 --> 01:07:31,939
have bonded in the
way that we have.
2035
01:07:31,940 --> 01:07:34,399
I wouldn't say it's
anything sexual about it.
2036
01:07:34,400 --> 01:07:35,459
It's more about
2037
01:07:35,460 --> 01:07:36,819
becoming brothers,
2038
01:07:36,820 --> 01:07:38,238
becoming closer than
you ever could.
2039
01:07:38,239 --> 01:07:39,357
Someone's life in your hands,
2040
01:07:39,358 --> 01:07:41,553
you want to really
trust somebody,
2041
01:07:41,554 --> 01:07:43,515
jerk that dick off.
2042
01:07:43,516 --> 01:07:44,410
You know what I mean.
2043
01:07:44,411 --> 01:07:46,219
You really learn a
lot about somebody.
2044
01:07:46,220 --> 01:07:47,678
- Achilles and
Hector, you are not.
2045
01:07:47,679 --> 01:07:49,349
- No, hell no.
2046
01:07:49,350 --> 01:07:51,459
I'm not gonna die because the
back of my fucking ankle
2047
01:07:51,460 --> 01:07:52,390
gets tweaked.
2048
01:07:52,391 --> 01:07:53,655
You know what I mean.
2049
01:07:54,890 --> 01:07:56,355
No, I'm
2050
01:07:56,356 --> 01:07:57,739
like Brad Pitt,
2051
01:07:57,740 --> 01:07:59,395
but more like Brad
Pitt in Snatch.
2052
01:07:59,396 --> 01:08:00,739
You know what the fuck I mean.
2053
01:08:00,740 --> 01:08:02,289
- You like dikes?
2054
01:08:02,290 --> 01:08:03,575
- Yeah.
2055
01:08:03,576 --> 01:08:04,420
Do I like dikes?
2056
01:08:04,421 --> 01:08:05,715
Or docks?
2057
01:08:05,716 --> 01:08:06,718
- Guys.
2058
01:08:06,719 --> 01:08:07,552
You like guys?
2059
01:08:07,553 --> 01:08:09,599
- Eh, I wouldn't
say I like them,
2060
01:08:09,600 --> 01:08:12,039
but if you've never had
a dude jerk you off,
2061
01:08:12,040 --> 01:08:13,577
you haven't lived.
2062
01:08:13,578 --> 01:08:15,319
The textile strength
that a man has
2063
01:08:15,320 --> 01:08:17,259
is so much better
than a woman's.
2064
01:08:17,260 --> 01:08:18,819
- Those calluses.
2065
01:08:18,820 --> 01:08:21,049
- It's like getting
a fucking handjob
2066
01:08:21,050 --> 01:08:22,937
from a ranch hand, you
know what I mean.
2067
01:08:22,938 --> 01:08:26,537
Just a good firm old
Midwestern hand shake.
2068
01:08:26,538 --> 01:08:29,417
You know what I'm talking about.
2069
01:08:29,418 --> 01:08:30,619
In fact,
2070
01:08:30,620 --> 01:08:31,453
let me show you.
2071
01:08:31,454 --> 01:08:32,889
From what I've learned by,
2072
01:08:32,890 --> 01:08:33,723
I don't know,
2073
01:08:33,724 --> 01:08:35,118
being amongst my fellow men,
2074
01:08:35,119 --> 01:08:37,209
I'm gonna teach that
lady over there
2075
01:08:37,210 --> 01:08:38,752
a thing or two
2076
01:08:38,753 --> 01:08:40,094
she's never seen.
2077
01:08:41,108 --> 01:08:43,278
I'm gonna get her to
suck my whole penis.
2078
01:08:43,279 --> 01:08:44,297
- Her?
2079
01:08:44,298 --> 01:08:45,295
- Yeah.
2080
01:08:45,295 --> 01:08:46,128
- Her?
- Yeah.
2081
01:08:46,129 --> 01:08:47,315
Tiddle biddies over there.
2082
01:08:47,316 --> 01:08:48,318
- Her?
2083
01:08:48,319 --> 01:08:49,316
- Her?
2084
01:08:49,317 --> 01:08:50,334
- Yes, let me,
2085
01:08:50,335 --> 01:08:51,168
let me show you guys, okay.
2086
01:08:51,169 --> 01:08:52,769
I'm, this is gonna be.
2087
01:08:52,770 --> 01:08:54,699
Trojan warrior
2088
01:08:54,700 --> 01:08:57,553
and that's my young squire.
2089
01:08:57,554 --> 01:08:58,510
- This is the
moment where Harold
2090
01:08:58,511 --> 01:09:00,923
is continually baffled
at how we are friends.
2091
01:09:01,999 --> 01:09:02,832
- Let me give you a
piece of advice.
2092
01:09:02,833 --> 01:09:04,139
- I wouldn't recommend this.
2093
01:09:04,140 --> 01:09:05,395
- I would not recommend this.
2094
01:09:05,396 --> 01:09:06,494
- Why?
2095
01:09:08,474 --> 01:09:10,029
She's too easy.
2096
01:09:10,030 --> 01:09:11,235
It's too easy of a kill?
2097
01:09:11,236 --> 01:09:13,209
It's like hunting
a wounded deer?
2098
01:09:13,210 --> 01:09:14,130
That's fine.
2099
01:09:14,131 --> 01:09:15,335
That's all I fucking hunt,
2100
01:09:15,336 --> 01:09:16,755
you know what I mean.
2101
01:09:16,756 --> 01:09:17,754
- I think Tyler
needs a challenge.
2102
01:09:17,755 --> 01:09:20,369
- I'll accept roadkill.
2103
01:09:20,370 --> 01:09:21,360
Yeah, absolutely.
2104
01:09:21,361 --> 01:09:22,719
- Okay.
2105
01:09:22,720 --> 01:09:24,099
- How about just enough funds
2106
01:09:24,100 --> 01:09:25,050
to go malt scotch
2107
01:09:25,051 --> 01:09:26,793
to appreciate this moment.
2108
01:09:26,794 --> 01:09:27,730
- You guys keep my seat warm.
2109
01:09:27,731 --> 01:09:29,489
I'll be getting my dick wet.
2110
01:09:29,490 --> 01:09:30,323
When I get back,
2111
01:09:30,324 --> 01:09:31,809
you guys can help dab it off
2112
01:09:31,810 --> 01:09:32,643
and tell me how great we did.
2113
01:09:32,644 --> 01:09:34,350
- He's always so rude.
2114
01:09:36,530 --> 01:09:37,363
I'm not a prude,
2115
01:09:37,364 --> 01:09:39,223
but I can see him
appreciating the crude.
2116
01:09:43,010 --> 01:09:44,461
- What's up girl?
2117
01:09:44,462 --> 01:09:45,295
Get you a drink?
2118
01:09:45,295 --> 01:09:46,128
- Yeah.
2119
01:09:46,128 --> 01:09:46,961
Like Red Bulls over here, baby.
2120
01:09:46,962 --> 01:09:48,118
- Sure, I love to smash
Red Bull vodkas with you
2121
01:09:48,119 --> 01:09:49,340
all night
2122
01:09:49,341 --> 01:09:52,396
and then you can
fuck me doggie style
2123
01:09:52,397 --> 01:09:54,720
while we watch the new season
of Blue Mountain State.
2124
01:09:54,721 --> 01:09:57,644
Do you like Nickleback
as much as I do?
2125
01:09:57,645 --> 01:09:58,478
- Yes.
2126
01:09:58,478 --> 01:09:59,311
- Yeah.
- Oh my god, yeah.
2127
01:09:59,311 --> 01:10:00,144
- I fucking love Tool.
2128
01:10:00,144 --> 01:10:01,144
Yeah.
2129
01:10:03,150 --> 01:10:04,150
- Pull my hair.
2130
01:10:05,218 --> 01:10:07,100
- You're towing my toolbox baby.
2131
01:10:07,101 --> 01:10:08,358
- Oh god.
2132
01:10:08,359 --> 01:10:09,737
Get this little tool
out right here.
2133
01:10:09,738 --> 01:10:12,071
- Why do you call it little?
2134
01:10:13,252 --> 01:10:15,951
- Damn, can I get a couple
vodka red bulls on her please?
2135
01:10:15,952 --> 01:10:18,493
- Wow, seriously?
2136
01:10:18,494 --> 01:10:19,327
- Uh uh.
2137
01:10:19,328 --> 01:10:21,177
- Who the fuck do
you think you are?
2138
01:10:21,178 --> 01:10:23,539
Do you think I'm just
some little tool shed
2139
01:10:23,540 --> 01:10:24,426
you can do whatever the
fuck you want with?
2140
01:10:24,427 --> 01:10:29,426
God, you are such a
typical Cedar Falls WASP
2141
01:10:30,510 --> 01:10:31,889
who probably only got
through high school
2142
01:10:31,890 --> 01:10:33,921
on the fact that daddy
owned a car dealership.
2143
01:10:33,922 --> 01:10:35,780
How many freshmen cheerleaders
2144
01:10:35,781 --> 01:10:38,129
have you had your dirty
little fingers in
2145
01:10:38,130 --> 01:10:39,519
after a lacrosse game?
2146
01:10:39,520 --> 01:10:40,357
Huh?
2147
01:10:40,358 --> 01:10:41,669
Go home.
2148
01:10:41,670 --> 01:10:43,289
Yeah, I can smell
them from here.
2149
01:10:43,290 --> 01:10:44,270
Go home,
2150
01:10:44,271 --> 01:10:46,039
wash off the Axe body spray
2151
01:10:46,040 --> 01:10:47,779
and wait for the next
time that your mom
2152
01:10:47,780 --> 01:10:48,889
signs you up
2153
01:10:48,890 --> 01:10:49,989
for a bachelor date night
2154
01:10:49,990 --> 01:10:51,893
at your town's failing
country club.
2155
01:10:52,847 --> 01:10:53,680
- Wow.
2156
01:10:53,680 --> 01:10:54,513
You blew it.
2157
01:10:54,514 --> 01:10:56,063
Guess who played piccolo
their freshman year.
2158
01:10:56,064 --> 01:10:57,588
Peace.
2159
01:10:57,589 --> 01:10:58,628
- Whatever.
2160
01:10:58,629 --> 01:11:01,779
Small penis.
2161
01:11:01,780 --> 01:11:03,159
- It's bigger than yours.
2162
01:11:03,160 --> 01:11:04,929
- I can't even see it
through your jeans.
2163
01:11:04,930 --> 01:11:06,713
Get out of here.
2164
01:11:06,714 --> 01:11:07,789
- That's cause they're dark.
2165
01:11:07,790 --> 01:11:10,451
- Oh, what gives Charlie Brown?
2166
01:11:10,452 --> 01:11:12,028
- Fuck you man.
2167
01:11:12,029 --> 01:11:14,612
I struck out.
2168
01:11:14,613 --> 01:11:15,446
- Her?
2169
01:11:15,447 --> 01:11:16,612
With her?
2170
01:11:16,613 --> 01:11:17,673
- Her?
2171
01:11:17,674 --> 01:11:18,520
- Yeah, I struck out with her.
2172
01:11:18,521 --> 01:11:19,819
What's happened to me?
2173
01:11:19,820 --> 01:11:20,653
- Fuck this.
2174
01:11:20,654 --> 01:11:22,486
- Like pirates
2175
01:11:22,487 --> 01:11:23,499
- I think it was Kirk tonight.
2176
01:11:23,500 --> 01:11:24,500
- Guys.
2177
01:11:25,573 --> 01:11:26,750
I'm calling in the
nuclear option.
2178
01:11:26,751 --> 01:11:28,339
- No.
2179
01:11:28,340 --> 01:11:29,709
Not the man who's had more girls
2180
01:11:29,710 --> 01:11:30,990
than anyone in Cedar Valley.
2181
01:11:30,991 --> 01:11:31,980
- Yes.
2182
01:11:31,981 --> 01:11:33,599
The sultan of sliz himself.
2183
01:11:33,600 --> 01:11:35,252
- I do admire that
man's sexual prowess.
2184
01:11:35,253 --> 01:11:38,579
- And send.
2185
01:11:38,580 --> 01:11:39,890
- She's doomed.
- Oh boy.
2186
01:11:46,760 --> 01:11:48,073
- Sir, you have a message.
2187
01:12:21,860 --> 01:12:23,414
- Tyler,
2188
01:12:23,415 --> 01:12:24,516
Matt,
2189
01:12:24,517 --> 01:12:25,518
Harold.
2190
01:12:25,519 --> 01:12:26,533
- Mr. Lance.
2191
01:12:26,534 --> 01:12:27,519
Now might be a real good time
2192
01:12:27,519 --> 01:12:28,352
for you to get horny.
2193
01:12:28,353 --> 01:12:29,809
- It's my secret, Matt.
2194
01:12:29,810 --> 01:12:30,643
I'm always horny.
2195
01:12:30,643 --> 01:12:31,519
- Mr. Lance.
- So cool.
2196
01:12:31,520 --> 01:12:35,076
- He called me Harold.
2197
01:12:35,077 --> 01:12:36,077
- Oh my god.
2198
01:12:37,039 --> 01:12:38,739
Are you Jeff Lance?
2199
01:12:38,740 --> 01:12:40,433
- You're goddamn right.
2200
01:12:46,950 --> 01:12:48,656
Bros, Jeff Lance.
2201
01:12:53,958 --> 01:12:54,890
- So what are you guys
doing after this?
2202
01:12:54,891 --> 01:12:56,649
- Going to Cornstalk
at Spicoli's.
2203
01:12:56,650 --> 01:12:57,483
- Oh really.
2204
01:12:57,484 --> 01:13:00,309
- I heard Carolina
Spine is playing.
2205
01:13:00,310 --> 01:13:01,449
- Caroline.
2206
01:13:01,450 --> 01:13:02,450
Spine.
2207
01:13:02,451 --> 01:13:04,039
- Caroline.
2208
01:13:04,040 --> 01:13:05,179
- Spine.
- Get it right.
2209
01:13:05,180 --> 01:13:06,764
- I'm sorry.
2210
01:13:06,765 --> 01:13:07,690
- You know that song
about Waterloo, right.
2211
01:13:07,691 --> 01:13:08,940
- Yes, called Mrs. Sullivan.
2212
01:13:08,941 --> 01:13:11,529
- Okay, so like about this
Sullivan brothers and
2213
01:13:11,530 --> 01:13:13,841
all that jazz.
2214
01:13:13,842 --> 01:13:15,143
Okay, okay.
2215
01:13:15,144 --> 01:13:16,439
- So oh my god, right,
2216
01:13:16,440 --> 01:13:17,273
we gotta go.
2217
01:13:17,274 --> 01:13:18,444
- Yep, gotta go.
2218
01:13:18,445 --> 01:13:19,442
- Let's do this.
2219
01:13:19,443 --> 01:13:21,173
- Carolina Spine.
2220
01:13:23,600 --> 01:13:24,709
- Alright guys seriously,
2221
01:13:24,710 --> 01:13:26,049
get on the fucking horns.
2222
01:13:26,050 --> 01:13:27,069
We need a driver.
2223
01:13:27,070 --> 01:13:28,159
We gotta get down man.
2224
01:13:28,160 --> 01:13:29,289
Caroline's Spine.
2225
01:13:29,290 --> 01:13:30,290
- Okay, got it.
2226
01:13:31,270 --> 01:13:32,639
- Look at this, the initiative,
2227
01:13:32,640 --> 01:13:34,081
I love it.
2228
01:13:34,082 --> 01:13:35,064
Tyler the tool.
2229
01:13:35,065 --> 01:13:36,140
Does that say fucking Grinder?
2230
01:13:36,141 --> 01:13:37,050
- Yeah dude,
2231
01:13:37,051 --> 01:13:38,419
trying to get my
butt hole licked.
2232
01:13:38,420 --> 01:13:39,879
- Can't meet a woman
with a tongue strength
2233
01:13:39,880 --> 01:13:41,149
that I require.
2234
01:13:41,150 --> 01:13:42,789
- Tyler,
2235
01:13:42,790 --> 01:13:44,160
cool it with the
butt stuff, bros.
2236
01:13:44,161 --> 01:13:46,359
I've done it.
2237
01:13:46,360 --> 01:13:47,589
- You got a ride?
2238
01:13:47,590 --> 01:13:48,639
- I'm a miracle worker.
2239
01:13:48,640 --> 01:13:49,899
- It can't be Lyft.
2240
01:13:49,900 --> 01:13:51,509
- Doth my eyes deceive me.
2241
01:13:51,510 --> 01:13:52,410
- There's this asian lady,
2242
01:13:52,411 --> 01:13:53,879
I climbed her great wall
2243
01:13:53,880 --> 01:13:55,489
like I was Mongolian.
2244
01:13:55,490 --> 01:13:57,201
Genghis Khan up in that bitch.
2245
01:13:57,202 --> 01:13:58,070
- This,
2246
01:13:58,071 --> 01:13:59,420
this is as poetic
as Silvia Plath.
2247
01:13:59,421 --> 01:14:00,809
It is.
2248
01:14:00,810 --> 01:14:01,643
- Silvia Plath?
2249
01:14:01,644 --> 01:14:03,109
- It most certainly is.
2250
01:14:03,110 --> 01:14:04,449
- The chick that
wrote Frankenstein?
2251
01:14:04,450 --> 01:14:06,489
- Harold's eyes doth
not deceive him.
2252
01:14:06,490 --> 01:14:07,490
- Oh my god.
2253
01:14:08,962 --> 01:14:09,840
They should have sent a poet.
2254
01:14:09,840 --> 01:14:10,840
- They did.
2255
01:14:11,682 --> 01:14:13,639
- Like Robert Frost?
2256
01:14:13,640 --> 01:14:16,633
- It's gold doth stay.
2257
01:14:19,298 --> 01:14:21,169
- The Uber Jew,
2258
01:14:21,170 --> 01:14:22,329
the Jewish Uber driver
2259
01:14:22,330 --> 01:14:23,749
who is very Jewish,
2260
01:14:23,750 --> 01:14:25,519
hence he is.
2261
01:14:25,520 --> 01:14:26,370
Uber Jew,
2262
01:14:26,371 --> 01:14:29,389
the greatest uber driver ever.
2263
01:14:29,390 --> 01:14:31,141
Fucking love that hebe.
2264
01:14:31,142 --> 01:14:33,699
Hey, he
2265
01:14:33,700 --> 01:14:35,429
who finds faithful friend
2266
01:14:35,430 --> 01:14:37,163
finds a treasure.
2267
01:14:37,164 --> 01:14:39,061
That's a Jewish proverb.
2268
01:14:39,062 --> 01:14:40,473
- Hey,
2269
01:14:44,800 --> 01:14:46,649
Bros got room for one more?
2270
01:14:46,650 --> 01:14:47,650
- Tanner!
2271
01:14:47,650 --> 01:14:48,650
- Hey.
2272
01:14:52,310 --> 01:14:54,139
- Turtles Reunion tour?
2273
01:14:56,460 --> 01:14:59,360
- You got to sit in the back.
2274
01:14:59,361 --> 01:15:00,741
- You got to sit bitch.
2275
01:15:00,742 --> 01:15:02,389
- Okay.
2276
01:15:02,390 --> 01:15:03,541
- Oh my god.
2277
01:15:03,542 --> 01:15:05,621
There hasn't been
2278
01:15:05,622 --> 01:15:06,622
anyone
2279
01:15:07,588 --> 01:15:09,359
as happy to see a Jew
2280
01:15:09,360 --> 01:15:10,193
since I don't know,
2281
01:15:10,194 --> 01:15:12,427
the disciples on first Easter.
2282
01:15:12,428 --> 01:15:15,045
- Starting with that
right away, huh.
2283
01:15:15,046 --> 01:15:18,404
- Wait, so why are
you back here again?
2284
01:15:18,405 --> 01:15:20,564
- Well, I moved back.
2285
01:15:20,565 --> 01:15:22,403
The cost of living in
2286
01:15:22,404 --> 01:15:24,029
Chicago was a little
too high for me.
2287
01:15:24,030 --> 01:15:25,966
- Were you really
in Chicago though?
2288
01:15:25,967 --> 01:15:27,485
Were you in Logan Square?
2289
01:15:27,486 --> 01:15:29,648
- I don't believe we've met.
- Or more like Evanston?
2290
01:15:29,649 --> 01:15:31,947
- Well Schaumburg actually.
2291
01:15:31,948 --> 01:15:33,469
- I'm Harold.
2292
01:15:33,470 --> 01:15:34,759
No, we have not
had the pleasure.
2293
01:15:34,760 --> 01:15:35,670
- Yeah, I was gonna say
2294
01:15:35,671 --> 01:15:37,249
I would remember that beard.
2295
01:15:37,250 --> 01:15:39,008
- Is it reminiscent
of mahogany and ash?
2296
01:15:39,009 --> 01:15:41,605
- No.
2297
01:15:41,606 --> 01:15:44,219
- Dude, that fucking
hat is sick.
2298
01:15:44,220 --> 01:15:45,709
I gotta get me one of those
2299
01:15:45,710 --> 01:15:47,344
with gold on it.
2300
01:15:47,345 --> 01:15:48,347
And instead of the star,
2301
01:15:48,348 --> 01:15:49,365
maybe use something like a knife
2302
01:15:49,366 --> 01:15:50,804
or like a or something.
2303
01:15:50,805 --> 01:15:53,147
- I think that would
be a little much.
2304
01:15:53,148 --> 01:15:54,944
You know I have to say,
2305
01:15:54,945 --> 01:15:56,384
I'm a little surprised.
2306
01:15:56,385 --> 01:15:57,382
- Oh.
2307
01:15:57,383 --> 01:15:58,421
- To see
2308
01:15:58,422 --> 01:15:59,643
a hipster,
2309
01:15:59,644 --> 01:16:00,661
a tool,
2310
01:16:00,662 --> 01:16:01,809
and bros all in the same car.
2311
01:16:01,810 --> 01:16:02,705
I'm a little proud of you guys.
2312
01:16:02,705 --> 01:16:03,702
I am.
2313
01:16:03,702 --> 01:16:04,535
- Is it breaking your heart
2314
01:16:04,536 --> 01:16:05,856
that we're ride
sharing right now?
2315
01:16:07,302 --> 01:16:08,329
- Kind of makes you wonder why
2316
01:16:08,330 --> 01:16:09,939
Israel and Palestine
can't get along.
2317
01:16:09,940 --> 01:16:11,449
- You know, there's
actually more to that.
2318
01:16:11,450 --> 01:16:12,896
- I know.
2319
01:16:12,897 --> 01:16:14,119
- And just like that crystal
2320
01:16:14,120 --> 01:16:16,389
knocked the whole
coverup bullshit
2321
01:16:16,390 --> 01:16:17,519
you guys came up with.
2322
01:16:17,520 --> 01:16:18,899
I know a fucking scam
2323
01:16:18,900 --> 01:16:20,169
when you're trying to get that
2324
01:16:20,170 --> 01:16:21,699
window pane insurance money.
2325
01:16:21,700 --> 01:16:22,540
My dad sold them.
2326
01:16:22,541 --> 01:16:23,879
I know that he...
2327
01:16:23,880 --> 01:16:25,039
- Hey Tyler,
2328
01:16:25,040 --> 01:16:26,409
Crystal knock knock.
2329
01:16:26,410 --> 01:16:27,243
- Who's there?
2330
01:16:27,244 --> 01:16:28,480
- An inside job.
2331
01:16:29,590 --> 01:16:31,984
- And six million less Jews.
2332
01:16:31,985 --> 01:16:35,559
- You guys have not
changed one bit.
2333
01:16:35,560 --> 01:16:36,490
- Why did you come back.
2334
01:16:36,491 --> 01:16:37,969
You were with your
bubby you said.
2335
01:16:37,970 --> 01:16:39,649
And you were gonna
work for your uncle.
2336
01:16:39,650 --> 01:16:40,759
- Well,
2337
01:16:40,760 --> 01:16:42,080
it ended up not working out.
2338
01:16:42,081 --> 01:16:43,899
- Is it bubby or booby?
2339
01:16:43,900 --> 01:16:44,900
- I'm not as good with the money
2340
01:16:44,901 --> 01:16:46,581
as I thought I was.
2341
01:16:47,585 --> 01:16:48,582
- That's the first you
2342
01:16:48,583 --> 01:16:49,584
I will ever admit that joke.
2343
01:16:49,585 --> 01:16:50,582
- So you weren't quite
making six figures?
2344
01:16:50,583 --> 01:16:52,729
- We won't talk about it.
2345
01:16:52,730 --> 01:16:54,341
- They can't even
make six inches.
2346
01:16:55,622 --> 01:16:56,869
- What are you doing?
2347
01:16:56,870 --> 01:16:58,069
Just rubbing nickles together
2348
01:16:58,070 --> 01:16:59,664
to making our money or what?
2349
01:16:59,665 --> 01:17:02,209
- Oh, I've missed you guys.
2350
01:17:02,210 --> 01:17:03,249
I really have.
2351
01:17:03,250 --> 01:17:04,829
- I just can't believe
we found you on the app.
2352
01:17:04,830 --> 01:17:06,259
It was a Christmas miracle.
2353
01:17:06,260 --> 01:17:07,789
Oh sorry, a Hanukkah miracle.
2354
01:17:07,790 --> 01:17:09,264
- Yes.
2355
01:17:09,265 --> 01:17:10,098
- Does Hanukkah have miracles?
2356
01:17:10,098 --> 01:17:10,940
- You can say Christmas.
2357
01:17:10,940 --> 01:17:11,820
I'm not offended.
2358
01:17:11,821 --> 01:17:13,403
- I don't want to offend.
2359
01:17:13,404 --> 01:17:15,009
I just want to be
historically accurate.
2360
01:17:15,010 --> 01:17:16,549
- We're not offended
that you killed Christ.
2361
01:17:16,550 --> 01:17:19,403
- You know I really
love riding with you.
2362
01:17:19,404 --> 01:17:22,052
You give us road scotch.
2363
01:17:22,053 --> 01:17:22,970
- Road scotch.
2364
01:17:22,971 --> 01:17:24,069
- Jesus Christ,
2365
01:17:24,070 --> 01:17:25,119
Glen Levit.
2366
01:17:25,120 --> 01:17:26,619
- At least it's single malt.
2367
01:17:26,620 --> 01:17:27,453
- Yeah.
2368
01:17:27,454 --> 01:17:28,479
- What, were they out
of Cutty Sark or what?
2369
01:17:28,480 --> 01:17:29,313
- Hey, you never
know when someone's
2370
01:17:29,314 --> 01:17:30,759
gonna stiff you.
2371
01:17:30,760 --> 01:17:32,186
I can't reach for the top shelf.
2372
01:17:32,187 --> 01:17:33,759
- You're like fucking Pauly
2373
01:17:33,760 --> 01:17:35,158
drinking.
2374
01:17:35,159 --> 01:17:35,992
- Even the middle shelf.
2375
01:17:35,993 --> 01:17:37,573
- Like that time
Piccolo's had Doers.
2376
01:17:39,070 --> 01:17:40,279
Jesus.
2377
01:17:40,280 --> 01:17:41,113
- I thought they
didn't have Doers.
2378
01:17:41,114 --> 01:17:42,609
I thought they had
2379
01:17:42,610 --> 01:17:43,470
like Lauders.
2380
01:17:43,471 --> 01:17:44,889
- Harold had water that evening.
2381
01:17:44,890 --> 01:17:45,890
- Yeah.
2382
01:17:56,298 --> 01:17:57,295
- What's your middle name?
2383
01:17:57,296 --> 01:17:58,457
- What's your date of birth?
2384
01:17:58,458 --> 01:17:59,340
- Oh my goodness,
2385
01:17:59,341 --> 01:18:00,958
I do not have time
for this, okay.
2386
01:18:00,959 --> 01:18:02,609
I work two jobs,
2387
01:18:02,610 --> 01:18:03,490
got a kid.
2388
01:18:03,490 --> 01:18:04,480
I'm getting crow's feet.
2389
01:18:04,481 --> 01:18:05,897
Okay, I just want to
go to the concert.
2390
01:18:05,898 --> 01:18:09,054
- Hmm, well head on in.
2391
01:18:09,055 --> 01:18:10,638
- Sounds good to me.
2392
01:18:10,639 --> 01:18:12,414
- She looks pretty good for 46.
2393
01:18:12,415 --> 01:18:14,215
- 105.7 KOKZ,
2394
01:18:14,216 --> 01:18:15,200
Iowa's classic hits.
2395
01:18:15,201 --> 01:18:16,916
My name is Craig Lowey.
2396
01:18:16,917 --> 01:18:17,750
You know where you
need to be tonight.
2397
01:18:17,751 --> 01:18:19,279
You need to be at
Spicoli's in Waterloo
2398
01:18:19,280 --> 01:18:21,489
because a fantastic
band is coming to town.
2399
01:18:21,490 --> 01:18:23,609
Jimmy Newquist and
Caroline's Spine
2400
01:18:23,610 --> 01:18:25,167
are gonna be in town.
2401
01:18:25,168 --> 01:18:26,001
I know these guys
for a long time.
2402
01:18:26,002 --> 01:18:27,129
They have the hit song,
2403
01:18:27,130 --> 01:18:28,419
Sullivan, among others.
2404
01:18:28,420 --> 01:18:29,589
We definitely want
you to get out
2405
01:18:29,590 --> 01:18:30,440
and support
2406
01:18:30,441 --> 01:18:31,449
not only Spicoli's,
2407
01:18:31,450 --> 01:18:32,826
but Jimmy Newquist and
Caroline's Spine.
2408
01:18:32,827 --> 01:18:34,589
If you've never seen them live,
2409
01:18:34,590 --> 01:18:36,169
you are certainly missing out.
2410
01:18:36,170 --> 01:18:37,172
And we want you to experience.
2411
01:18:37,173 --> 01:18:39,019
Caroline's Spine tonight,
2412
01:18:39,020 --> 01:18:39,853
Spicoli's in Waterloo.
2413
01:18:39,854 --> 01:18:40,889
Check it out.
2414
01:18:40,890 --> 01:18:42,472
- Erin McCool.
2415
01:18:42,473 --> 01:18:44,399
My life changed.
2416
01:18:44,400 --> 01:18:45,854
How are you?
2417
01:18:45,855 --> 01:18:47,310
- Cool dude.
2418
01:18:47,311 --> 01:18:50,397
- I prefer a handshake.
2419
01:18:54,840 --> 01:18:56,439
- Hey guys, this
is James Patrick
2420
01:18:56,440 --> 01:18:57,370
at Rock 108.
2421
01:18:57,371 --> 01:18:59,959
Make sure you get to
Spicoli's tonight
2422
01:18:59,960 --> 01:19:01,539
cause for one night only,
2423
01:19:01,540 --> 01:19:02,659
Jimmy Newquist,
2424
01:19:02,660 --> 01:19:03,729
Caroline's Spine
2425
01:19:03,730 --> 01:19:05,289
rocking the hell
out of Spicoli's.
2426
01:19:05,290 --> 01:19:07,399
So make sure you're
there tonight.
2427
01:19:07,400 --> 01:19:08,233
- Harry, how's it going?
2428
01:19:08,234 --> 01:19:10,349
- It's be better if
you'd call me Harold.
2429
01:19:10,350 --> 01:19:11,183
- I keep forgetting.
2430
01:19:11,184 --> 01:19:12,873
- I prefer it.
2431
01:19:12,874 --> 01:19:14,185
- Well Harold, I got
something special for you.
2432
01:19:14,186 --> 01:19:15,150
Here's something that
you'll actually prefer
2433
01:19:15,151 --> 01:19:16,449
more than our water selection.
2434
01:19:16,450 --> 01:19:17,283
- Or your Doers?
2435
01:19:17,283 --> 01:19:18,283
- Or our Doers.
2436
01:19:19,330 --> 01:19:21,689
Alright, would Harold
approve of this?
2437
01:19:21,690 --> 01:19:24,889
- Harold would approve.
2438
01:19:24,890 --> 01:19:26,290
- I'll pour you one up.
2439
01:19:26,751 --> 01:19:28,009
- It's better than Doers.
2440
01:19:28,010 --> 01:19:29,652
- There you are, Harold.
2441
01:19:29,653 --> 01:19:30,692
- You could have done
without the ice, but.
2442
01:19:30,693 --> 01:19:32,599
- Hey, welcome back to the show
2443
01:19:32,600 --> 01:19:34,209
on press roll with
the sports guy.
2444
01:19:34,210 --> 01:19:35,043
I'm Gary Rime
2445
01:19:35,044 --> 01:19:36,862
along with my in studio producer
2446
01:19:36,863 --> 01:19:38,909
and cohost to the program,
2447
01:19:38,910 --> 01:19:39,929
Chris Gobinacker.
2448
01:19:39,930 --> 01:19:41,959
We affectionately call him
2449
01:19:41,960 --> 01:19:43,729
the sports stud.
2450
01:19:43,730 --> 01:19:44,889
Hey sports stud,
2451
01:19:44,890 --> 01:19:46,419
I got a memo here.
2452
01:19:46,420 --> 01:19:47,529
Caroline's Spine
2453
01:19:47,530 --> 01:19:49,549
is playing in
Waterloo at Spicoli's
2454
01:19:49,550 --> 01:19:51,989
on University Avenue tonight.
2455
01:19:51,990 --> 01:19:53,979
Hey wasn't there
a Caroline Spine
2456
01:19:53,980 --> 01:19:56,425
that was a great
American figure skater?
2457
01:19:56,426 --> 01:19:58,079
- You're close, Sports Guy.
2458
01:19:58,080 --> 01:19:59,080
Caroline Zont,
2459
01:20:00,543 --> 01:20:02,084
and she is a great
American figure skater
2460
01:20:02,085 --> 01:20:04,339
that is a three time
champion figure skater.
2461
01:20:04,340 --> 01:20:05,320
- Awesome.
2462
01:20:05,321 --> 01:20:06,349
Hey Sports Stud,
2463
01:20:06,350 --> 01:20:07,529
you know there's a
2464
01:20:07,530 --> 01:20:10,121
two time champion right
here from Waterloo,
2465
01:20:10,122 --> 01:20:12,669
the Cedar Valley court kings,
2466
01:20:12,670 --> 01:20:14,419
our minor league
basketball team.
2467
01:20:14,420 --> 01:20:15,380
- You're right Sports Guy,
2468
01:20:15,381 --> 01:20:18,302
back to back Midwest league
basketball champions.
2469
01:20:18,303 --> 01:20:20,619
- Not to mention
out own champions
2470
01:20:20,620 --> 01:20:21,550
on the ice,
2471
01:20:21,551 --> 01:20:22,749
on their skates,
2472
01:20:22,750 --> 01:20:25,159
the Waterloo
Blackhawks Hockey Team
2473
01:20:25,160 --> 01:20:26,905
Anderson Cup Champions.
2474
01:20:26,906 --> 01:20:28,999
- It's impressive stuff.
2475
01:20:29,000 --> 01:20:30,339
- Oh, baby.
2476
01:20:30,340 --> 01:20:32,505
I love these teams.
2477
01:20:32,506 --> 01:20:34,542
- What's going on boys?
2478
01:20:34,543 --> 01:20:35,543
- What's up?
2479
01:20:42,350 --> 01:20:44,489
- Drink it you pig.
2480
01:20:44,490 --> 01:20:45,663
- Yeah.
2481
01:20:47,722 --> 01:20:49,358
- It's a good night.
2482
01:20:49,359 --> 01:20:50,702
Wow man, nice penises boys.
2483
01:20:50,703 --> 01:20:52,319
You especially.
2484
01:20:52,320 --> 01:20:53,458
Shit man.
2485
01:20:53,459 --> 01:20:55,209
- Dude,
2486
01:20:55,210 --> 01:20:56,409
no homo man.
2487
01:20:56,410 --> 01:20:57,243
- What do you mean?
2488
01:20:57,244 --> 01:20:59,241
No, there's nothing
gay about that.
2489
01:20:59,242 --> 01:21:01,079
It's just me applauding
another man's gift.
2490
01:21:01,080 --> 01:21:03,833
God clearly has blessed
this young man.
2491
01:21:08,490 --> 01:21:10,058
- You're buying drinks, right?
2492
01:21:12,506 --> 01:21:13,626
- I'll put them on your tab.
2493
01:21:14,367 --> 01:21:15,365
Easy boys.
2494
01:21:15,366 --> 01:21:16,579
- See you.
2495
01:21:16,580 --> 01:21:18,960
- This is a song that
introduced me to you guys.
2496
01:21:47,685 --> 01:21:50,308
♪ It's not hard to reach
back into a day ♪
2497
01:21:50,309 --> 01:21:52,964
♪ Underneath that Iowa sun ♪
2498
01:21:52,965 --> 01:21:55,705
♪ Running to the
tower of Waterloo ♪
2499
01:21:55,706 --> 01:21:58,923
♪ Looking for the
Sullivan's train to come ♪
2500
01:21:58,924 --> 01:22:01,364
♪ And his five boys
would run to the top ♪
2501
01:22:01,365 --> 01:22:03,828
♪ And salute him as he went by ♪
2502
01:22:03,829 --> 01:22:06,206
♪ First we'd wave hello ♪
2503
01:22:06,207 --> 01:22:09,566
♪ Then we'd wave goodbye ♪
2504
01:22:09,567 --> 01:22:11,465
♪ Goodbye ♪
2505
01:22:20,885 --> 01:22:23,348
♪ It's not hard to reach
back to the days ♪
2506
01:22:23,349 --> 01:22:26,366
♪ After the attack on Pearl ♪
2507
01:22:26,367 --> 01:22:28,766
♪ Overnight my buddies
turned into men ♪
2508
01:22:28,767 --> 01:22:31,542
♪ Running out of time
for games and girls ♪
2509
01:22:31,543 --> 01:22:33,806
♪ And the Sullivan boys
were not overlooked ♪
2510
01:22:33,807 --> 01:22:37,508
♪ Uncle Sam calling
each by name ♪
2511
01:22:37,509 --> 01:22:42,509
♪ The very next day they
left on a mystery train ♪
2512
01:22:42,805 --> 01:22:47,805
♪ Say goodbye, bye, bye, Mrs.
Sullivan ♪
2513
01:22:47,984 --> 01:22:52,984
♪ And don't you cry,
cry, cry, cry, cry ♪
2514
01:22:54,245 --> 01:22:56,185
♪ We regret to inform you ♪
2515
01:22:56,186 --> 01:22:58,964
♪ The Navy has taking
your sons away ♪
2516
01:22:58,965 --> 01:23:03,965
♪ All five, five, five, five ♪
2517
01:23:03,967 --> 01:23:08,964
♪ So put your blue
stars in the window ♪
2518
01:23:08,965 --> 01:23:11,064
♪ Your window ♪
2519
01:23:16,405 --> 01:23:19,065
♪ It's not hard to reach
back to her smile ♪
2520
01:23:19,066 --> 01:23:21,764
♪ When she'd receive a letter ♪
2521
01:23:21,765 --> 01:23:24,628
♪ And the letters they
sounded generally the same ♪
2522
01:23:24,629 --> 01:23:26,126
♪ Said if they
couldn't be home ♪
2523
01:23:26,127 --> 01:23:27,667
♪ At least they were together ♪
2524
01:23:27,668 --> 01:23:30,084
♪ On a mighty
fighting battleship ♪
2525
01:23:30,085 --> 01:23:32,905
♪ Somewhere in the
South Pacific ♪
2526
01:23:32,906 --> 01:23:37,906
♪ The letters never got
much more specific ♪
2527
01:23:38,367 --> 01:23:43,367
♪ Say goodbye, bye, bye, Mrs.
Sullivan ♪
2528
01:23:43,567 --> 01:23:48,567
♪ And don't you cry,
cry, cry, cry, cry ♪
2529
01:23:49,464 --> 01:23:51,924
♪ We regret to inform you ♪
2530
01:23:51,925 --> 01:23:54,825
♪ The Navy is keeping
your sons away ♪
2531
01:23:54,826 --> 01:23:59,524
♪ All five, five, five, five ♪
2532
01:23:59,525 --> 01:24:04,192
♪ So keep your blue
stars in the window ♪
2533
01:24:13,386 --> 01:24:14,219
John, can you bring the
lights down a little bit?
2534
01:24:14,220 --> 01:24:16,200
Jut bring them on down a bit?
2535
01:24:59,103 --> 01:25:01,721
♪ It's not hard to reach
back to the day ♪
2536
01:25:01,722 --> 01:25:04,884
♪ When the war
finally came home ♪
2537
01:25:04,885 --> 01:25:07,465
♪ Uncle Sam, he'll
send you a telegram ♪
2538
01:25:07,466 --> 01:25:11,854
♪ So he doesn't have to
tell you over the phone ♪
2539
01:25:11,855 --> 01:25:13,662
♪ I heard she cracked up ♪
2540
01:25:13,663 --> 01:25:16,804
♪ When they found out
what the war could cost ♪
2541
01:25:16,805 --> 01:25:19,524
♪ When all five of her boys ♪
2542
01:25:19,525 --> 01:25:22,345
♪ Were lost ♪
2543
01:25:22,346 --> 01:25:25,081
♪ They were ♪
2544
01:25:25,082 --> 01:25:27,601
♪ They were ♪
2545
01:25:27,602 --> 01:25:30,382
♪ They were ♪
2546
01:25:30,383 --> 01:25:35,383
♪ Say goodbye, bye, bye, Mrs.
Sullivan ♪
2547
01:25:36,106 --> 01:25:38,041
♪ Go ahead and cry ♪
2548
01:25:38,042 --> 01:25:42,745
♪ Go ahead and cry ♪
2549
01:25:42,746 --> 01:25:44,501
♪ We regret to inform you ♪
2550
01:25:44,502 --> 01:25:47,419
♪ That all your sons
have passed away ♪
2551
01:25:47,420 --> 01:25:51,865
♪ All five, five, five, five ♪
2552
01:25:51,866 --> 01:25:55,477
♪ So change your
blue star to gold ♪
2553
01:25:55,478 --> 01:25:58,382
♪ Blue star to gold ♪
2554
01:25:58,383 --> 01:26:02,642
♪ Blue star to gold ♪
2555
01:26:02,643 --> 01:26:03,642
♪ Come on mommy ♪
2556
01:26:03,643 --> 01:26:05,342
♪ Change them to gold ♪
2557
01:26:57,653 --> 01:26:58,859
- This is how it usually goes
2558
01:26:58,860 --> 01:27:00,429
in about every town.
2559
01:27:00,430 --> 01:27:01,619
People grow up.
2560
01:27:01,620 --> 01:27:02,919
They get married.
2561
01:27:02,920 --> 01:27:03,753
They have kids.
2562
01:27:03,754 --> 01:27:05,279
They move on.
2563
01:27:05,280 --> 01:27:07,509
The good times are
cherished and remembered.
2564
01:27:07,510 --> 01:27:10,132
When you see the wold guy
at the bar by himself,
2565
01:27:10,133 --> 01:27:11,433
drinking,
2566
01:27:11,434 --> 01:27:14,132
he was a bro one day too.
2567
01:27:14,133 --> 01:27:17,299
There are five Sullivan Bros
2568
01:27:17,300 --> 01:27:18,559
from this town
2569
01:27:18,560 --> 01:27:20,739
that would have loved
to have been back here.
2570
01:27:20,740 --> 01:27:23,513
I try to remind myself of
that as much as possible.
2571
01:27:25,480 --> 01:27:27,231
- Hey, it's Corey
Ford with KFUK radio.
2572
01:27:27,232 --> 01:27:29,319
Okay, fuck Cedar Falls.
2573
01:27:29,320 --> 01:27:31,009
It's gonna be a
great day in Iowa.
2574
01:27:31,010 --> 01:27:32,999
It's gonna be a great day
in the Cedar Valley.
2575
01:27:33,000 --> 01:27:33,910
Our future
2576
01:27:33,911 --> 01:27:35,059
is bright.
2577
01:27:35,060 --> 01:27:37,049
And for the very last time,
2578
01:27:37,050 --> 01:27:40,923
this one goes out to the bros.
2579
01:27:54,032 --> 01:27:55,849
♪ They hate you for the reason ♪
2580
01:27:55,850 --> 01:27:58,329
♪ Found out all your faults ♪
2581
01:27:58,330 --> 01:27:59,848
♪ They hid behind ♪
2582
01:27:59,849 --> 01:28:04,031
♪ Picture perfect lies ♪
2583
01:28:04,032 --> 01:28:06,270
♪ They found you in the corner ♪
2584
01:28:06,271 --> 01:28:08,889
♪ Dusting for fingerprints ♪
2585
01:28:08,890 --> 01:28:10,313
♪ From pages painted pretty ♪
2586
01:28:10,314 --> 01:28:14,631
♪ Pictures of your sins ♪
2587
01:28:14,632 --> 01:28:17,209
♪ Give me ig-ig-ignorance ♪
2588
01:28:17,210 --> 01:28:19,972
♪ Give what you can give ♪
2589
01:28:19,973 --> 01:28:21,209
♪ Ig-Ig-Ignorance ♪
2590
01:28:21,210 --> 01:28:23,673
♪ Hit them with ♪
2591
01:28:23,674 --> 01:28:24,831
♪ What they give ♪
2592
01:28:24,832 --> 01:28:27,993
♪ Alright now ♪
2593
01:28:46,170 --> 01:28:48,271
♪ Put it on-on-on the table ♪
2594
01:28:48,272 --> 01:28:50,873
♪ Watch for shifting eyes ♪
2595
01:28:50,874 --> 01:28:52,232
♪ Serving cold revenge ♪
2596
01:28:52,233 --> 01:28:56,289
♪ With a side of spite ♪
2597
01:28:56,290 --> 01:28:58,871
♪ But satisfaction
don't come easy ♪
2598
01:28:58,872 --> 01:29:01,471
♪ But to take it all with ease ♪
2599
01:29:01,472 --> 01:29:03,008
♪ Well I guess them guests ♪
2600
01:29:03,009 --> 01:29:06,852
♪ All just better leave ♪
2601
01:29:06,853 --> 01:29:09,364
♪ Give me ig-ig-ignorance ♪
2602
01:29:09,365 --> 01:29:12,212
♪ Give what you can give ♪
2603
01:29:12,213 --> 01:29:14,471
♪ Ig-Ig-Ignorance ♪
2604
01:29:14,472 --> 01:29:16,031
♪ Hit them with ♪
2605
01:29:16,032 --> 01:29:17,227
♪ What they give ♪
2606
01:29:17,228 --> 01:29:19,871
♪ Alright now ♪
2607
01:29:39,013 --> 01:29:40,889
♪ Ignorance ♪
2608
01:29:40,890 --> 01:29:43,631
♪ Give what you can give ♪
2609
01:29:43,632 --> 01:29:45,833
♪ Ignorance ♪
2610
01:29:45,834 --> 01:29:47,592
♪ Hit them with ♪
2611
01:29:47,593 --> 01:29:48,692
♪ What they give ♪
2612
01:29:48,693 --> 01:29:51,033
♪ Ignorance ♪
2613
01:29:51,034 --> 01:29:53,889
♪ Give what you can give ♪
2614
01:29:53,890 --> 01:29:56,231
♪ Ignorance ♪
2615
01:29:56,232 --> 01:29:57,812
♪ Hit them with ♪
2616
01:29:57,813 --> 01:29:59,071
♪ What they give ♪
2617
01:29:59,072 --> 01:30:01,769
♪ Give them ignorance ♪
2618
01:30:01,770 --> 01:30:03,433
♪ Give what you can give ♪
2619
01:30:03,434 --> 01:30:07,113
♪ Ignorance ♪
2620
01:30:07,114 --> 01:30:08,289
♪ Hit them with ♪
2621
01:30:08,290 --> 01:30:09,525
♪ What they give ♪
2622
01:30:09,526 --> 01:30:12,633
♪ Give them ignorance ♪
2623
01:30:12,634 --> 01:30:14,873
♪ Give what you can give ♪
2624
01:30:14,874 --> 01:30:17,572
♪ Ignorance ♪
2625
01:30:17,573 --> 01:30:21,572
♪ Hit them with ♪
2626
01:30:21,573 --> 01:30:24,323
♪ What they give ♪
171443
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
