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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:02,440 --> 00:00:05,190 (metal clanking) 3 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 4 00:00:21,120 --> 00:00:24,120 (film reel rolling) 5 00:00:25,019 --> 00:00:27,852 (people chatting) 6 00:00:31,838 --> 00:00:32,960 - [Narrator] When you hear the first computer, 7 00:00:32,960 --> 00:00:34,019 fax machine, female lawyer. 8 00:00:34,019 --> 00:00:36,523 Where do you think they're all from? 9 00:00:37,902 --> 00:00:39,390 The Silicon valley? 10 00:00:39,390 --> 00:00:41,100 Perhaps even New York. 11 00:00:41,100 --> 00:00:43,373 No, this is Iowa. 12 00:00:44,360 --> 00:00:46,950 Home of the only division 1A football stadium 13 00:00:46,950 --> 00:00:49,241 named after an African-American, Jack Trice. 14 00:00:49,241 --> 00:00:53,130 Who attended Iowa State University in the 20s. 15 00:00:53,130 --> 00:00:56,010 He was the second African-American competing 16 00:00:56,010 --> 00:00:58,699 in college football at a major university. 17 00:00:58,699 --> 00:01:00,540 Who's the first? 18 00:01:00,540 --> 00:01:02,370 Frank Holbrook, who played for the 19 00:01:02,370 --> 00:01:04,763 University of Iowa a decade earlier. 20 00:01:05,758 --> 00:01:07,680 During the Civil War, 21 00:01:07,680 --> 00:01:11,456 76,534 Iowans served in The Union. 22 00:01:11,456 --> 00:01:15,030 No other state had a higher percentage 23 00:01:15,030 --> 00:01:16,603 of its male population serve. 24 00:01:18,019 --> 00:01:20,623 This is Waterloo. 25 00:01:21,590 --> 00:01:24,510 Waterloo, Iowa. 26 00:01:24,510 --> 00:01:28,033 This city, with the greatest tractors ever made. 27 00:01:29,072 --> 00:01:32,140 This is East High. 28 00:01:32,140 --> 00:01:34,460 Record for the longest football winning streak 29 00:01:34,460 --> 00:01:35,293 in the state. 30 00:01:36,979 --> 00:01:37,812 Strangely enough, the record 31 00:01:37,812 --> 00:01:39,518 for the longest losing streak, too. 32 00:01:39,518 --> 00:01:40,958 But whatever. 33 00:01:40,958 --> 00:01:43,940 Hey, Cedar Falls, suck my dick from behind 34 00:01:43,940 --> 00:01:46,210 for pointing that out in the first movie. 35 00:01:46,210 --> 00:01:48,540 Waterloo West High. 36 00:01:48,540 --> 00:01:50,350 The high school of the greatest wrestler 37 00:01:50,350 --> 00:01:53,070 of all time, Dan Gable. 38 00:01:53,070 --> 00:01:55,300 Waterloo is the home of the greatest 39 00:01:55,300 --> 00:01:58,899 American Navy family, the Sullivans. 40 00:01:58,899 --> 00:02:02,640 The Sullivan brothers all died on the same ship 41 00:02:02,640 --> 00:02:05,801 in the South Pacific during World War II. 42 00:02:05,801 --> 00:02:08,400 This is a story that inspired the movie, 43 00:02:08,400 --> 00:02:09,653 Saving Private Ryan. 44 00:02:11,100 --> 00:02:13,360 But my town of Waterloo, 45 00:02:13,360 --> 00:02:15,177 that's where you're gonna get 46 00:02:15,177 --> 00:02:16,890 the real American Experience. 47 00:02:16,890 --> 00:02:18,515 A large glass of scotch, 48 00:02:18,515 --> 00:02:20,158 plenty of great food, 49 00:02:20,158 --> 00:02:22,103 and genuine conversation. 50 00:02:26,398 --> 00:02:28,898 (light music) 51 00:02:49,756 --> 00:02:51,020 - American Pie was awesome. 52 00:02:51,020 --> 00:02:53,656 - I can't believe the kid from Rookie of the Year 53 00:02:53,656 --> 00:02:55,336 got Tara Reid. 54 00:02:55,336 --> 00:02:57,561 - Harold was not aware of this. 55 00:02:57,561 --> 00:02:59,630 Who was the kid from Rookie of the Year? 56 00:02:59,630 --> 00:03:02,450 - Thomas Ian Nicholas, if I ever meet him, 57 00:03:02,450 --> 00:03:04,840 I'm gonna tell him The Floater was shit. 58 00:03:04,840 --> 00:03:06,201 - Tara Reid is hot. 59 00:03:06,201 --> 00:03:07,893 - I like the part where the dude 60 00:03:07,893 --> 00:03:09,870 put his dick in the pie. 61 00:03:09,870 --> 00:03:11,350 - How do you know he's Jewish? 62 00:03:11,350 --> 00:03:15,817 - Because his dad is Eugene Levy, Jew. 63 00:03:15,817 --> 00:03:18,249 - You come off so antisemitic. 64 00:03:18,249 --> 00:03:20,560 You need to work on that. 65 00:03:20,560 --> 00:03:22,878 - The intern Clinton nailed was a Jew. 66 00:03:22,878 --> 00:03:25,038 - You know, in 20 years, 67 00:03:25,038 --> 00:03:28,440 our presidents, they'll be married to models 68 00:03:28,440 --> 00:03:30,297 and plowing porn stars. 69 00:03:30,297 --> 00:03:32,761 - You Neanderthals. 70 00:03:32,761 --> 00:03:35,530 - Since your parents divorced, 71 00:03:35,530 --> 00:03:38,201 your weekends with your dad have been great. 72 00:03:38,201 --> 00:03:39,720 - Thank you Father, 73 00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:42,070 for allowing us to watch R rated movies. 74 00:03:42,070 --> 00:03:44,050 - Pisses Mom off, which is funny. 75 00:03:44,050 --> 00:03:47,120 - I prefer American Beauty over American Pie. 76 00:03:47,120 --> 00:03:48,990 It will win an Oscar. 77 00:03:48,990 --> 00:03:51,530 - I would rather see a Jew screw a pie 78 00:03:51,530 --> 00:03:54,330 over a plastic bag in the wind any day. 79 00:03:54,330 --> 00:03:55,790 - Dad keeps asking me how many times 80 00:03:55,790 --> 00:03:57,060 the new boyfriend comes, 81 00:03:57,060 --> 00:03:58,720 comes about three times a week. 82 00:03:58,720 --> 00:04:01,460 Mom comes about seven or eight. 83 00:04:01,460 --> 00:04:02,700 Quit being such a fag, Dad. 84 00:04:02,700 --> 00:04:03,720 Move on, get a chick, 85 00:04:03,720 --> 00:04:05,570 sell some more Saturns or something. 86 00:04:05,570 --> 00:04:08,053 - If you ever need to talk about your feelings, 87 00:04:08,053 --> 00:04:11,779 after the divorce, Harold is a good listener. 88 00:04:11,779 --> 00:04:13,550 - Feelings? 89 00:04:13,550 --> 00:04:15,518 I have two Christmases now, you cock munchers. 90 00:04:15,518 --> 00:04:17,690 - Hey, where's Taylor? 91 00:04:17,690 --> 00:04:20,030 - He's hanging with his girl he met. 92 00:04:20,030 --> 00:04:21,540 She's here for the summer. 93 00:04:21,540 --> 00:04:22,723 - What is this, Grease? 94 00:04:22,723 --> 00:04:25,973 ♪ Those summer, nights ♪ 95 00:04:28,440 --> 00:04:29,857 - I prefer Grease 2. 96 00:04:29,857 --> 00:04:31,280 Much better movie. 97 00:04:31,280 --> 00:04:33,320 Musical scenes, way better. 98 00:04:33,320 --> 00:04:35,800 Best bowling scene in film history. 99 00:04:35,800 --> 00:04:37,848 - Taylor would sell out his buddies 100 00:04:37,848 --> 00:04:39,361 for a chick any day. 101 00:04:39,361 --> 00:04:40,194 Pervert, Dee tried to tell him 102 00:04:40,194 --> 00:04:41,620 to keep his hands to himself. 103 00:04:41,620 --> 00:04:43,741 - I will wait for the right girlfriend. 104 00:04:43,741 --> 00:04:45,750 Harold is classy. 105 00:04:45,750 --> 00:04:48,530 I want a lady with that same standard. 106 00:04:48,530 --> 00:04:49,363 - Fag. 107 00:04:51,533 --> 00:04:54,200 (light music) 108 00:04:54,200 --> 00:04:55,279 - [Brunette] No way Richard Gere's going 109 00:04:55,279 --> 00:04:56,576 to rescue you if you're a hooker. 110 00:04:56,576 --> 00:04:57,770 - Yeah, I guess he did make out with her. 111 00:04:57,770 --> 00:04:59,781 You don't kiss a hooker on the mouth. 112 00:04:59,781 --> 00:05:01,021 - No. 113 00:05:01,021 --> 00:05:02,039 - They'll bite off the tip of your tongue. 114 00:05:02,039 --> 00:05:03,042 - [Brunette] They'll bite right on. 115 00:05:03,042 --> 00:05:04,061 - [Blonde] Like that shame on guy. 116 00:05:04,061 --> 00:05:04,894 - Wait, Sham-Wow guy. 117 00:05:04,894 --> 00:05:05,960 - You know the guy from the infomercial 118 00:05:05,960 --> 00:05:06,840 with the shammy. 119 00:05:06,840 --> 00:05:08,061 - Yeah. 120 00:05:08,061 --> 00:05:08,894 He made out with a hooker. 121 00:05:08,894 --> 00:05:10,320 And she bit off the tip of his tongue. 122 00:05:10,320 --> 00:05:11,153 - [Brunette] Holy shit! 123 00:05:11,153 --> 00:05:12,599 - [Blonde] Bit it right off. 124 00:05:12,599 --> 00:05:14,270 You don't kiss a hooker on the mouth. 125 00:05:14,270 --> 00:05:15,103 - No shit. 126 00:05:15,103 --> 00:05:16,150 And Richard Gere gives her money 127 00:05:16,150 --> 00:05:17,805 to go shopping? 128 00:05:17,805 --> 00:05:18,980 - No, no. 129 00:05:18,980 --> 00:05:20,540 - He would've taken her in an alley, 130 00:05:20,540 --> 00:05:22,147 bent her over a dumpster, and said, 131 00:05:22,147 --> 00:05:23,542 "yeah, take that pig!" 132 00:05:23,542 --> 00:05:25,810 - Now that's a movie I would totally 133 00:05:25,810 --> 00:05:27,600 go, I would pay money to see that. 134 00:05:27,600 --> 00:05:29,500 - Yeah, you we think we're above men 135 00:05:29,500 --> 00:05:31,610 in this area, but we are just as depraved. 136 00:05:31,610 --> 00:05:32,443 How many copies 137 00:05:32,443 --> 00:05:33,784 of Fifty Shades of Gray were sold? 138 00:05:33,784 --> 00:05:35,565 Three blockbuster films. 139 00:05:35,565 --> 00:05:36,398 - Oh, my God. 140 00:05:36,398 --> 00:05:39,680 Honestly, I mean, I'd rather see that rich guy 141 00:05:39,680 --> 00:05:41,163 work over that chick, 142 00:05:41,163 --> 00:05:43,343 than watch the fucking Notebook. 143 00:05:43,343 --> 00:05:45,986 - I would rather have my Catholic grandmother 144 00:05:45,986 --> 00:05:48,570 catch me watching hardcore 145 00:05:48,570 --> 00:05:49,623 gay porn 146 00:05:49,623 --> 00:05:51,550 than to watch the fucking Notebook. 147 00:05:51,550 --> 00:05:53,620 - Gay porn is the best, though. 148 00:05:53,620 --> 00:05:55,005 That's a real romance movie. 149 00:05:55,005 --> 00:05:57,620 - Well, no, watching some twink 150 00:05:57,620 --> 00:06:00,024 get turned out by a couple of hairy bears, 151 00:06:00,024 --> 00:06:01,340 hot. 152 00:06:01,340 --> 00:06:03,084 - Yeah, take that pig. 153 00:06:03,084 --> 00:06:04,980 (laughter) 154 00:06:04,980 --> 00:06:05,813 - Hey, where's Tanner? 155 00:06:05,813 --> 00:06:07,040 - I don't know, man. 156 00:06:07,040 --> 00:06:08,470 I don't think his fiance 157 00:06:08,470 --> 00:06:10,020 likes him hanging out with me. 158 00:06:10,020 --> 00:06:10,853 - Why? 159 00:06:10,853 --> 00:06:12,610 - She treats me like I'm from Marshal Town, man. 160 00:06:12,610 --> 00:06:15,288 I'm gonna take him out to the Tiger's Den. 161 00:06:15,288 --> 00:06:17,770 He's gonna get hopped up on crystal meth, 162 00:06:17,770 --> 00:06:19,404 take a swing at a stripper. 163 00:06:19,404 --> 00:06:21,980 - Well, she did have to pick you guys up last week 164 00:06:21,980 --> 00:06:23,080 at four in the morning. 165 00:06:23,080 --> 00:06:24,010 - It's different man. 166 00:06:24,010 --> 00:06:27,723 Dave's stash makes some killer Vegas bombs. 167 00:06:29,120 --> 00:06:30,030 Look at you man. 168 00:06:30,030 --> 00:06:31,590 Maybe you're the issue. 169 00:06:31,590 --> 00:06:33,620 Maybe he can't come here because of you. 170 00:06:33,620 --> 00:06:35,204 You look like 171 00:06:35,204 --> 00:06:37,860 the devil wears Tommy Bahama. 172 00:06:37,860 --> 00:06:39,430 - Hey bro, 173 00:06:39,430 --> 00:06:40,530 this shit gets me anything I want. 174 00:06:40,530 --> 00:06:43,481 And you're no peach yourself either. 175 00:06:43,481 --> 00:06:45,140 - I know. 176 00:06:45,140 --> 00:06:47,124 A grown man wearing Justin Bieber jacket. 177 00:06:47,124 --> 00:06:49,090 Maybe she's a little bit right. 178 00:06:49,090 --> 00:06:50,200 But still, fuck her. 179 00:06:50,200 --> 00:06:51,033 - Dude, 180 00:06:51,950 --> 00:06:53,330 you tell him to tell her 181 00:06:53,330 --> 00:06:54,640 he's at the real library. 182 00:06:54,640 --> 00:06:56,063 - That's what I'm thinking. 183 00:06:56,063 --> 00:06:58,030 Maybe you she'll 184 00:06:58,030 --> 00:06:59,640 wind up allowing him to come out. 185 00:06:59,640 --> 00:07:01,401 Maybe he's gonna go and say he's gonna 186 00:07:01,401 --> 00:07:02,234 I don't know, 187 00:07:02,234 --> 00:07:03,937 get like a boxcar kids 188 00:07:03,937 --> 00:07:06,463 novel, or Sweet Valley High. 189 00:07:06,463 --> 00:07:09,900 Hey, have we had this conversation before? 190 00:07:09,900 --> 00:07:11,440 - Matt, 191 00:07:11,440 --> 00:07:12,820 we have this conversation 192 00:07:12,820 --> 00:07:13,670 every time. 193 00:07:13,670 --> 00:07:14,962 - Tanner's fiance's a bitch. 194 00:07:14,962 --> 00:07:17,090 - Major bitch. 195 00:07:17,090 --> 00:07:18,680 She's says that Tanner can't come down here anymore 196 00:07:18,680 --> 00:07:20,220 because she doesn't want him hanging around 197 00:07:20,220 --> 00:07:21,210 Mr. Lance. 198 00:07:21,210 --> 00:07:23,844 - Oh, she said Jeff Lance is a misogynist. 199 00:07:23,844 --> 00:07:25,140 (laughter) 200 00:07:25,140 --> 00:07:25,973 - What a dumb clam. 201 00:07:25,973 --> 00:07:27,524 I don't even know gymnastics. 202 00:07:27,524 --> 00:07:28,357 (laughter) 203 00:07:28,357 --> 00:07:29,190 - No, dude. 204 00:07:29,190 --> 00:07:30,660 That's a contortionist. 205 00:07:30,660 --> 00:07:32,420 - What the hell's a misogynist? 206 00:07:32,420 --> 00:07:34,220 - It's a man who's prejudice against women, 207 00:07:34,220 --> 00:07:35,640 thinks that they're inferior. 208 00:07:35,640 --> 00:07:36,473 - Doesn't she know 209 00:07:36,473 --> 00:07:37,939 that I'm Jeff Lance? 210 00:07:37,939 --> 00:07:39,460 I love women. 211 00:07:39,460 --> 00:07:40,660 - That's right man. 212 00:07:40,660 --> 00:07:43,420 You love women. 213 00:07:43,420 --> 00:07:45,124 You're Jeff Lance. 214 00:07:45,124 --> 00:07:48,010 You don't treat women like an object. 215 00:07:48,010 --> 00:07:50,540 They treat you like an object. 216 00:07:50,540 --> 00:07:51,580 - I know. 217 00:07:51,580 --> 00:07:52,960 I'm actually sensitive. 218 00:07:52,960 --> 00:07:54,180 I have feelings. 219 00:07:54,180 --> 00:07:55,723 I want to be held and listened to 220 00:07:55,723 --> 00:07:57,083 like a puppy. 221 00:07:58,580 --> 00:07:59,413 - You know what, 222 00:08:01,380 --> 00:08:02,213 I'm gonna text Tanner, 223 00:08:02,213 --> 00:08:03,046 tell him 224 00:08:03,920 --> 00:08:05,190 hey, 225 00:08:05,190 --> 00:08:07,350 tell your fiance 226 00:08:07,350 --> 00:08:08,681 that Jeff says 227 00:08:08,681 --> 00:08:12,340 misogynists is an awfully big word 228 00:08:12,340 --> 00:08:14,690 for such a little girl. 229 00:08:14,690 --> 00:08:15,993 And send. 230 00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:19,530 - Dude, that's something a misogynist would say. 231 00:08:19,530 --> 00:08:21,150 - Exactly. 232 00:08:21,150 --> 00:08:22,361 - Funny, bro. 233 00:08:22,361 --> 00:08:23,210 (laughter) 234 00:08:23,210 --> 00:08:24,863 - Don't worry about it. 235 00:08:24,863 --> 00:08:25,696 She doesn't it to everyone. 236 00:08:25,696 --> 00:08:27,480 - Yeah, she calls everyone sexist, 237 00:08:27,480 --> 00:08:28,400 racist, 238 00:08:28,400 --> 00:08:29,460 homophobe. 239 00:08:29,460 --> 00:08:30,930 You name it. 240 00:08:30,930 --> 00:08:32,804 - Small minds do it all the time. 241 00:08:32,804 --> 00:08:34,380 Sexist. 242 00:08:34,380 --> 00:08:35,213 Homophobe. 243 00:08:35,213 --> 00:08:36,430 Racist. 244 00:08:36,430 --> 00:08:38,179 Vocal trump cards for the idiots. 245 00:08:38,179 --> 00:08:40,623 - You are a little antisemitic at times. 246 00:08:40,623 --> 00:08:42,440 - Don't worry, Matt, 247 00:08:42,440 --> 00:08:44,433 the Jews will not replace you. 248 00:08:46,720 --> 00:08:47,553 - Hey. 249 00:08:48,739 --> 00:08:50,760 Got a text from Tanner. 250 00:08:50,760 --> 00:08:53,195 His fiance says she will let us come over, 251 00:08:53,195 --> 00:08:55,090 but for just one drink. 252 00:08:55,090 --> 00:08:58,150 And we have to have it in the driveway. 253 00:08:58,150 --> 00:08:59,220 - In the driveway? 254 00:08:59,220 --> 00:09:00,840 It's like on King of the Hill, 255 00:09:00,840 --> 00:09:02,062 Dammit Bobby. 256 00:09:02,062 --> 00:09:04,201 The Fiance is such a bitch. 257 00:09:04,201 --> 00:09:06,638 - Yeah man, I don't know what you mean man. 258 00:09:06,638 --> 00:09:07,859 (inaudible) 259 00:09:07,859 --> 00:09:09,440 (laughter) 260 00:09:09,440 --> 00:09:10,638 You know what, fuck it. 261 00:09:10,638 --> 00:09:11,471 Let's have shots. 262 00:09:11,471 --> 00:09:12,676 - Shots. 263 00:09:12,676 --> 00:09:13,509 - Shots. 264 00:09:18,800 --> 00:09:21,090 You ever know about Toby Huss? 265 00:09:21,090 --> 00:09:22,333 Actor from Marshalltown? 266 00:09:23,270 --> 00:09:24,880 Played the voices of Kahn 267 00:09:24,880 --> 00:09:26,253 and Grampaw Hill. 268 00:09:27,740 --> 00:09:28,940 So anyway, 269 00:09:28,940 --> 00:09:29,910 he was up for the part 270 00:09:29,910 --> 00:09:32,318 of Mr. Miyagi, 271 00:09:32,318 --> 00:09:34,560 and he showed up to the first audition 272 00:09:34,560 --> 00:09:36,920 piss drunk and did the most racist, 273 00:09:36,920 --> 00:09:39,050 asian voice he possibly could, 274 00:09:39,050 --> 00:09:41,115 and got brought back for the second audition. 275 00:09:41,115 --> 00:09:43,150 In his second audition, 276 00:09:43,150 --> 00:09:44,761 he came in sober, 277 00:09:44,761 --> 00:09:46,398 lost the part. 278 00:09:46,398 --> 00:09:48,500 - So dude, where you headed? 279 00:09:48,500 --> 00:09:49,333 Waterloo? 280 00:09:49,333 --> 00:09:50,740 - Sierra Falls. 281 00:09:50,740 --> 00:09:52,019 I'm fucking with you. 282 00:09:52,019 --> 00:09:53,801 (laughter) 283 00:09:53,801 --> 00:09:56,218 (rock music) 284 00:10:04,419 --> 00:10:06,361 ♪ The hate you fought for reason ♪ 285 00:10:06,361 --> 00:10:09,299 ♪ Found out your faults ♪ 286 00:10:09,299 --> 00:10:10,441 ♪ Hide behind ♪ 287 00:10:10,441 --> 00:10:14,819 ♪ The picture perfect lights ♪ 288 00:10:14,819 --> 00:10:17,638 ♪ the times you in the corner ♪ 289 00:10:17,638 --> 00:10:19,198 ♪ Dusting for fingerprints ♪ 290 00:10:19,198 --> 00:10:20,739 ♪ From cages painted pretty ♪ 291 00:10:20,739 --> 00:10:24,782 ♪ Pictures of your sins ♪ 292 00:10:24,782 --> 00:10:27,897 ♪ Give me ig-ig-ignorance ♪ 293 00:10:27,897 --> 00:10:30,417 ♪ Give what you can give ♪ 294 00:10:30,417 --> 00:10:32,499 ♪ Ig-Ig-Ignorance ♪ 295 00:10:32,499 --> 00:10:34,179 ♪ Hit them with ♪ 296 00:10:34,179 --> 00:10:35,274 ♪ What to give ♪ 297 00:10:35,274 --> 00:10:36,897 ♪ Alright ♪ 298 00:10:36,897 --> 00:10:39,314 (rock music) 299 00:10:56,398 --> 00:10:58,478 ♪ Put on-on-on the table ♪ 300 00:10:58,478 --> 00:11:01,139 ♪ Watch for shifty eyes ♪ 301 00:11:01,139 --> 00:11:02,681 ♪ Serving cold revenge ♪ 302 00:11:02,681 --> 00:11:06,851 ♪ With the side of spite ♪ 303 00:11:06,851 --> 00:11:08,973 ♪ Satisfaction don't come easy ♪ 304 00:11:08,973 --> 00:11:11,533 ♪ But to take it all with ease ♪ 305 00:11:11,533 --> 00:11:13,331 ♪ With our guests, them guests ♪ 306 00:11:13,331 --> 00:11:17,171 ♪ I'll just better leave ♪ 307 00:11:17,171 --> 00:11:19,949 ♪ Give me ig-ig-ignorance ♪ 308 00:11:19,949 --> 00:11:22,552 ♪ Give what you can give ♪ 309 00:11:22,552 --> 00:11:25,213 ♪ Ig-Ig-Ignorance ♪ 310 00:11:25,213 --> 00:11:26,628 ♪ Hit them with ♪ 311 00:11:26,628 --> 00:11:27,651 ♪ What they give ♪ 312 00:11:27,651 --> 00:11:29,149 ♪ Alright ♪ 313 00:11:29,149 --> 00:11:30,653 ♪ Ignorance ♪ 314 00:11:30,653 --> 00:11:34,371 ♪ Hit them with ♪ 315 00:11:34,371 --> 00:11:37,121 ♪ What they give ♪ 316 00:11:38,500 --> 00:11:39,850 - [Narrator] Pro-wrestling was a staple 317 00:11:39,850 --> 00:11:42,040 in every kid's lives at some point. 318 00:11:42,040 --> 00:11:43,320 There's three 319 00:11:43,320 --> 00:11:44,170 prestigious 320 00:11:44,170 --> 00:11:46,860 pro-wrestling hall of fame's in America. 321 00:11:46,860 --> 00:11:48,312 Cauliflower Alley Club, 322 00:11:48,312 --> 00:11:50,109 WWE, 323 00:11:50,109 --> 00:11:51,420 George Tragos, 324 00:11:51,420 --> 00:11:53,660 Lou Thesz Pro Wrestling Hall of Fame. 325 00:11:53,660 --> 00:11:55,180 That one is held here 326 00:11:55,180 --> 00:11:56,413 in Waterloo, Iowa. 327 00:11:58,290 --> 00:11:59,123 Former inductees are, 328 00:11:59,123 --> 00:12:00,620 Mick Foley, 329 00:12:00,620 --> 00:12:01,820 Edge, 330 00:12:01,820 --> 00:12:03,170 Kurt Angle, 331 00:12:03,170 --> 00:12:04,830 Iron Sheik, 332 00:12:04,830 --> 00:12:06,250 Jim Ross, 333 00:12:06,250 --> 00:12:07,690 Terry Funk, 334 00:12:07,690 --> 00:12:09,970 Rowdy Rowdy Piper 335 00:12:09,970 --> 00:12:12,486 The Million Dollar Man, Ted Dibiase, 336 00:12:12,486 --> 00:12:14,750 the excellence of execution, 337 00:12:14,750 --> 00:12:16,023 Bret "The Hitman" Hart, 338 00:12:16,860 --> 00:12:18,060 and even the governor, 339 00:12:18,060 --> 00:12:19,683 Jesse "The Body" Ventura. 340 00:12:20,626 --> 00:12:21,760 But the one, 341 00:12:21,760 --> 00:12:23,830 the one that always stuck with me and my friends, 342 00:12:23,830 --> 00:12:24,663 the man, 343 00:12:24,663 --> 00:12:25,970 spent more money 344 00:12:25,970 --> 00:12:27,630 on spilled liqueur 345 00:12:27,630 --> 00:12:29,940 from all ends of the world in one year 346 00:12:29,940 --> 00:12:32,330 that you'll ever make in a lifetime. 347 00:12:32,330 --> 00:12:34,288 I'm talking about the kiss stealing, 348 00:12:34,288 --> 00:12:35,890 the wheeling, dealing, 349 00:12:35,890 --> 00:12:37,628 Rolex wearing, 350 00:12:37,628 --> 00:12:39,850 limonene riding, 351 00:12:39,850 --> 00:12:42,233 jet flying son of a gun, 352 00:12:43,510 --> 00:12:45,040 the nature boy, 353 00:12:45,040 --> 00:12:45,873 limonene Flair. 354 00:12:47,050 --> 00:12:47,883 Woo. 355 00:12:51,986 --> 00:12:53,008 - I was in there 356 00:12:53,008 --> 00:12:53,841 cause I'm loud in there, 357 00:12:53,841 --> 00:12:55,767 and I saw you out here just bumming around. 358 00:12:55,767 --> 00:12:58,184 (soft music) 359 00:13:03,090 --> 00:13:04,570 I landed you a ticket. 360 00:13:04,570 --> 00:13:05,826 - Dude. 361 00:13:05,826 --> 00:13:07,527 When the fuck did you become a pro-wrestler? 362 00:13:07,527 --> 00:13:08,670 - Since 2010. 363 00:13:08,670 --> 00:13:10,327 You know that. 364 00:13:10,327 --> 00:13:11,650 Dipshit. 365 00:13:11,650 --> 00:13:12,706 - Jesus Christ. 366 00:13:12,706 --> 00:13:13,729 That's awesome. 367 00:13:13,729 --> 00:13:15,100 - Yeah, you can get one $20. 368 00:13:15,100 --> 00:13:16,450 No, you know what, 369 00:13:16,450 --> 00:13:17,447 friends and family discount, 370 00:13:17,447 --> 00:13:18,280 30. 371 00:13:18,280 --> 00:13:19,670 Yeah. 372 00:13:19,670 --> 00:13:20,870 - Fucking A. 373 00:13:20,870 --> 00:13:21,730 - Drinks after? 374 00:13:21,730 --> 00:13:22,830 - [Matt] Drinks after. 375 00:13:25,970 --> 00:13:28,387 (rock music) 376 00:13:42,450 --> 00:13:44,530 - [Announcer] Our boy, Frisco. 377 00:13:44,530 --> 00:13:46,130 And the monster, 378 00:13:46,130 --> 00:13:46,963 Malice. 379 00:13:48,567 --> 00:13:50,984 (rock music) 380 00:13:55,010 --> 00:13:58,177 (cheers and applause) 381 00:14:00,128 --> 00:14:01,127 Wrestling fans, 382 00:14:01,127 --> 00:14:02,127 our winners. 383 00:14:03,490 --> 00:14:05,907 Wrestling tag team champions, 384 00:14:06,908 --> 00:14:08,865 the team of (inaudible), 385 00:14:08,865 --> 00:14:09,782 and Malice. 386 00:14:12,130 --> 00:14:14,547 (rock music) 387 00:14:30,384 --> 00:14:31,426 (soft music) 388 00:14:31,426 --> 00:14:33,767 ♪ I was pouring myself a stiff drink ♪ 389 00:14:33,767 --> 00:14:35,868 ♪ At Christmas ♪ 390 00:14:35,868 --> 00:14:37,847 ♪ Eve ♪ 391 00:14:37,847 --> 00:14:40,668 ♪ You was looking at me ♪ 392 00:14:40,668 --> 00:14:42,424 ♪ Like I should ♪ 393 00:14:42,424 --> 00:14:45,426 ♪ Go ♪ 394 00:14:45,426 --> 00:14:47,868 ♪ You think by now when see ♪ 395 00:14:47,868 --> 00:14:50,188 ♪ That bottle ♪ 396 00:14:50,188 --> 00:14:52,588 ♪ You should know ♪ 397 00:14:52,588 --> 00:14:55,628 ♪ We're not walking sideways ♪ 398 00:14:55,628 --> 00:15:00,628 ♪ I ain't trying to steal the show ♪ 399 00:15:02,370 --> 00:15:04,050 ♪ Where I drink ♪ 400 00:15:04,050 --> 00:15:05,746 ♪ So I drank ♪ 401 00:15:05,746 --> 00:15:08,130 ♪ Now I'm drunk ♪ 402 00:15:08,130 --> 00:15:10,066 ♪ Bottoms up ♪ 403 00:15:10,066 --> 00:15:11,730 ♪ Well I drink ♪ 404 00:15:11,730 --> 00:15:13,548 ♪ So I drank ♪ 405 00:15:13,548 --> 00:15:14,866 ♪ Now I'm drunk ♪ 406 00:15:14,866 --> 00:15:17,708 ♪ Bottoms up ♪ 407 00:15:17,708 --> 00:15:21,207 ♪ I was watching the game at the bar ♪ 408 00:15:21,207 --> 00:15:23,346 ♪ Last Monday ♪ 409 00:15:23,346 --> 00:15:25,000 ♪ Night ♪ 410 00:15:25,000 --> 00:15:26,210 - Guys, how was it? 411 00:15:26,210 --> 00:15:27,948 - Better than Bros. 412 00:15:27,948 --> 00:15:30,265 ♪ It was time to ♪ 413 00:15:30,265 --> 00:15:32,850 ♪ Go ♪ 414 00:15:32,850 --> 00:15:34,087 ♪ But my friends are here ♪ 415 00:15:34,087 --> 00:15:36,247 ♪ And there's lots of beer ♪ 416 00:15:36,247 --> 00:15:38,172 ♪ And the post game ♪ 417 00:15:38,172 --> 00:15:39,607 ♪ Show ♪ 418 00:15:39,607 --> 00:15:43,067 ♪ So before you get mad at me later ♪ 419 00:15:43,067 --> 00:15:48,067 ♪ Just remember that I told you so ♪ 420 00:15:50,007 --> 00:15:51,664 ♪ Well I drink ♪ 421 00:15:51,664 --> 00:15:53,330 ♪ So I drank ♪ 422 00:15:53,330 --> 00:15:55,287 ♪ Now I'm drunk ♪ 423 00:15:55,287 --> 00:15:57,766 ♪ Bottoms up ♪ 424 00:15:57,766 --> 00:15:59,410 ♪ Well I drink ♪ 425 00:15:59,410 --> 00:16:01,308 ♪ So I drank ♪ 426 00:16:01,308 --> 00:16:03,298 ♪ Now I'm drunk ♪ 427 00:16:03,298 --> 00:16:05,383 ♪ Bottoms up ♪ 428 00:16:05,383 --> 00:16:07,250 ♪ Well I drink ♪ 429 00:16:07,250 --> 00:16:09,185 ♪ So I drank ♪ 430 00:16:09,185 --> 00:16:10,785 ♪ Now I'm drunk ♪ 431 00:16:10,785 --> 00:16:12,884 ♪ Bottoms up ♪ 432 00:16:12,884 --> 00:16:16,505 ♪ Well I drink ♪ 433 00:16:16,505 --> 00:16:19,204 ♪ So I drank ♪ 434 00:16:19,204 --> 00:16:21,044 ♪ Just like Hank ♪ 435 00:16:21,044 --> 00:16:26,044 ♪ Now I'm ♪ 436 00:16:29,140 --> 00:16:31,723 ♪ Drunk, again ♪ 437 00:16:35,204 --> 00:16:36,150 - [Matt] Firewater, 438 00:16:36,150 --> 00:16:37,570 a bar that is one block 439 00:16:37,570 --> 00:16:39,640 from the Sullivan brother's center. 440 00:16:39,640 --> 00:16:40,980 On stage right now, 441 00:16:40,980 --> 00:16:42,710 Pamela the Punisher poet. 442 00:16:42,710 --> 00:16:44,360 The only dominatrix poet 443 00:16:44,360 --> 00:16:46,160 to ever make it. 444 00:16:46,160 --> 00:16:48,090 And, her sidekick, 445 00:16:48,090 --> 00:16:49,923 our good friend Sam the Slave. 446 00:16:52,700 --> 00:16:54,521 - Ode to the little piggy, 447 00:16:54,521 --> 00:16:58,345 dirty, nasty little piggy. 448 00:16:58,345 --> 00:16:59,943 I'm going to make you mine 449 00:16:59,943 --> 00:17:02,601 so get on your knees 450 00:17:02,601 --> 00:17:05,023 and whine, you nasty swine. 451 00:17:05,023 --> 00:17:06,703 I am Pamela, 452 00:17:06,703 --> 00:17:08,137 the Punisher poet. 453 00:17:08,137 --> 00:17:10,720 And you're just my little piggy 454 00:17:11,800 --> 00:17:13,702 and everyone's going to know it. 455 00:17:13,702 --> 00:17:18,201 I am the only dominatrix poet to ever make it 456 00:17:18,201 --> 00:17:21,663 so get on your knees you nasty little pig 457 00:17:21,663 --> 00:17:22,663 and take it. 458 00:17:24,063 --> 00:17:26,313 (snapping) 459 00:17:30,543 --> 00:17:31,945 (soft music) 460 00:17:31,945 --> 00:17:32,961 - I love Pamela the Punisher. 461 00:17:32,961 --> 00:17:33,961 I love poetry. 462 00:17:33,961 --> 00:17:36,025 You girls have boyfriends? 463 00:17:36,025 --> 00:17:38,425 (inaudible) 464 00:17:38,425 --> 00:17:40,675 (snapping) 465 00:17:44,440 --> 00:17:45,440 - Yes. 466 00:17:45,440 --> 00:17:46,460 Fantastic. 467 00:17:46,460 --> 00:17:48,633 I love you Pamela the Poet Punisher. 468 00:17:52,940 --> 00:17:53,970 - Rutro. 469 00:17:53,970 --> 00:17:55,630 Where's Scooby and the gang? 470 00:17:55,630 --> 00:17:57,183 - Solve any mysteries lately? 471 00:17:57,183 --> 00:17:59,600 (soft music) 472 00:18:03,375 --> 00:18:05,040 - No, not, 473 00:18:05,040 --> 00:18:06,670 not today. 474 00:18:06,670 --> 00:18:07,503 Why? 475 00:18:07,503 --> 00:18:09,551 - Is your mom picking you up from little league later? 476 00:18:09,551 --> 00:18:12,490 - I'm in a league. 477 00:18:12,490 --> 00:18:15,083 - Is your priest still molesting you? 478 00:18:17,444 --> 00:18:20,270 - You look like Lance Armstrong without the roids. 479 00:18:20,270 --> 00:18:21,540 - You look like Tom Hanks 480 00:18:21,540 --> 00:18:23,060 and the end of Philadelphia. 481 00:18:23,060 --> 00:18:25,983 - You look like Chaz Bono in a fun house mirror. 482 00:18:29,892 --> 00:18:31,380 - Sam. 483 00:18:31,380 --> 00:18:32,332 What's up man, how's it going? 484 00:18:32,332 --> 00:18:33,332 - Good. 485 00:18:33,332 --> 00:18:34,910 (inaudible) 486 00:18:34,910 --> 00:18:36,270 Yeah, could I get a scotch please? 487 00:18:36,270 --> 00:18:37,260 - Yeah, put that one on me. 488 00:18:37,260 --> 00:18:39,620 - Classy as always, sir. 489 00:18:39,620 --> 00:18:40,460 Dude, how's it going man? 490 00:18:40,460 --> 00:18:41,935 Where's Tanner at? 491 00:18:41,935 --> 00:18:43,972 - He's with his fiance, man. 492 00:18:43,972 --> 00:18:46,890 - Well that's what happens, right. 493 00:18:46,890 --> 00:18:47,972 You get older. 494 00:18:47,972 --> 00:18:49,673 You get kids. 495 00:18:49,673 --> 00:18:52,703 Got a nice wife, I guess. 496 00:18:56,528 --> 00:18:59,200 Or you can just be the guy drinking alone at the bar. 497 00:18:59,200 --> 00:19:00,033 - Yeah. 498 00:19:01,589 --> 00:19:02,650 - Right. 499 00:19:02,650 --> 00:19:03,620 - Yeah, yeah. 500 00:19:03,620 --> 00:19:05,316 Apparently right now, 501 00:19:05,316 --> 00:19:06,313 he's two knuckles deep 502 00:19:06,313 --> 00:19:07,913 in a game of scrabble with his finance. 503 00:19:07,913 --> 00:19:09,040 (laughter) 504 00:19:09,040 --> 00:19:09,873 - Scrabble. 505 00:19:09,873 --> 00:19:11,870 Don't you have to know words for scrabble? 506 00:19:11,870 --> 00:19:12,703 - Yeah. 507 00:19:12,703 --> 00:19:14,553 You know that guy's just playing idiotic stuff. 508 00:19:14,553 --> 00:19:16,020 He's probably sitting there bored 509 00:19:16,020 --> 00:19:17,990 making houses and stuff like that. 510 00:19:17,990 --> 00:19:19,332 - Fucking lame crap. 511 00:19:19,332 --> 00:19:20,730 - Idiot. 512 00:19:20,730 --> 00:19:22,030 He's gonna play like this, 513 00:19:22,030 --> 00:19:22,970 they, them, 514 00:19:22,970 --> 00:19:25,008 it, as, and, 515 00:19:25,008 --> 00:19:25,841 an, 516 00:19:25,841 --> 00:19:27,510 and then do the D. 517 00:19:27,510 --> 00:19:29,120 And then yeah, you know he's gonna get to there 518 00:19:29,120 --> 00:19:30,930 and have like the wrong one. 519 00:19:30,930 --> 00:19:32,377 Like he's gonna go ahead and say ah, 520 00:19:32,377 --> 00:19:33,400 this means 521 00:19:33,400 --> 00:19:34,390 they are, right. 522 00:19:34,390 --> 00:19:35,223 They are, right. 523 00:19:35,223 --> 00:19:36,140 He's gonna be asking. 524 00:19:36,140 --> 00:19:38,890 - His fiance has to be having the worst time right now. 525 00:19:43,092 --> 00:19:44,092 - Well, woo. 526 00:19:45,113 --> 00:19:46,567 Look what he just played. 527 00:19:46,567 --> 00:19:49,300 Actually, Tanner is playing scrabble 528 00:19:49,300 --> 00:19:50,133 with is fiance 529 00:19:50,133 --> 00:19:51,563 with a bunch of her friends. 530 00:19:52,400 --> 00:19:54,830 She spelled Fount, 531 00:19:54,830 --> 00:19:55,860 which earned her 532 00:19:55,860 --> 00:19:56,983 24 points. 533 00:19:58,210 --> 00:19:59,210 She was quite proud. 534 00:20:00,450 --> 00:20:02,120 Tanner had a word too. 535 00:20:02,120 --> 00:20:03,650 His fiance kept pestering him 536 00:20:03,650 --> 00:20:05,293 on his vocabulary all night. 537 00:20:09,193 --> 00:20:10,191 Starts with a Q. 538 00:20:10,191 --> 00:20:11,193 That earned him 539 00:20:11,193 --> 00:20:12,130 triple letter score. 540 00:20:12,130 --> 00:20:14,310 So guess what Tanner's word is. 541 00:20:14,310 --> 00:20:16,360 I'll give you a few hints. 542 00:20:16,360 --> 00:20:17,310 Muff grunt, 543 00:20:17,310 --> 00:20:18,900 box burp, 544 00:20:18,900 --> 00:20:19,746 sliz sneeze, 545 00:20:19,746 --> 00:20:21,800 womb wheeze, 546 00:20:21,800 --> 00:20:23,829 cunt cough. 547 00:20:23,829 --> 00:20:25,490 That's right. 548 00:20:25,490 --> 00:20:27,314 Tanner's word is Queef. 549 00:20:27,314 --> 00:20:28,680 And if you're still lost, 550 00:20:28,680 --> 00:20:30,274 Google pussy fart. 551 00:20:30,274 --> 00:20:33,830 Queef earned Tanner 63 points total on the word 552 00:20:33,830 --> 00:20:35,100 and gave him the lead. 553 00:20:35,100 --> 00:20:36,720 His finance was pissed. 554 00:20:36,720 --> 00:20:38,872 But her Ceder Falls friends were impressed, 555 00:20:38,872 --> 00:20:40,850 and also laughing so hard 556 00:20:40,850 --> 00:20:43,330 that Tanner's finally in with them. 557 00:20:43,330 --> 00:20:44,920 Just goes to show you 558 00:20:44,920 --> 00:20:46,090 everyone comes together 559 00:20:46,090 --> 00:20:47,430 at a campground 560 00:20:47,430 --> 00:20:49,032 over a twat tune. 561 00:20:49,032 --> 00:20:52,370 - Triple letter score on the letter Q, nice. 562 00:20:52,370 --> 00:20:53,203 - Nice. 563 00:20:53,203 --> 00:20:55,330 He's putting that extra chromosome to use. 564 00:20:55,330 --> 00:20:58,030 - I'll drink my scotch to that. 565 00:21:00,690 --> 00:21:02,060 - I'm telling you guys, 566 00:21:02,060 --> 00:21:03,850 Jeff Lance is my real father. 567 00:21:03,850 --> 00:21:04,683 I know it. 568 00:21:04,683 --> 00:21:05,750 - He went in with your mom 569 00:21:05,750 --> 00:21:06,890 when he was 12 years old, 570 00:21:06,890 --> 00:21:08,386 you do realize this. 571 00:21:08,386 --> 00:21:09,220 - That's what I'm saying. 572 00:21:09,220 --> 00:21:11,688 She had Jeff in class when he was 12. 573 00:21:11,688 --> 00:21:13,843 - That means your mom's a child molester. 574 00:21:13,843 --> 00:21:17,506 - Yes, but my real father's a stud. 575 00:21:17,506 --> 00:21:18,339 - Well, it makes sense. 576 00:21:18,339 --> 00:21:19,746 You do like raw dogging the strange. 577 00:21:19,746 --> 00:21:21,996 (laughter) 578 00:21:22,920 --> 00:21:24,260 - [Matt] Patrick Plumly. 579 00:21:24,260 --> 00:21:25,650 He owns On The Rocks, 580 00:21:25,650 --> 00:21:28,269 a bar with over 15 different Moscow mules, 581 00:21:28,269 --> 00:21:30,500 eight craft beers on tap, 582 00:21:30,500 --> 00:21:32,150 and even more bottled and canned. 583 00:21:33,040 --> 00:21:34,620 A place like On The Rocks is a staple 584 00:21:34,620 --> 00:21:35,920 in the Waterloo nightlife. 585 00:21:37,130 --> 00:21:38,900 Come have some of the best drinks, 586 00:21:38,900 --> 00:21:42,000 cocktails, beers in the whole Ceder Valley 587 00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:43,940 all while taking in some artwork 588 00:21:43,940 --> 00:21:45,043 of a vintage Waterloo. 589 00:21:51,154 --> 00:21:52,140 The Dipshit Twins, 590 00:21:52,140 --> 00:21:53,848 the smartest guys in the valley. 591 00:21:53,848 --> 00:21:56,909 They received the highest marks at Iowa State University. 592 00:21:56,909 --> 00:22:00,680 Later, they attended both Columbia and Harvard. 593 00:22:00,680 --> 00:22:02,160 Inspired by their heroes, 594 00:22:02,160 --> 00:22:03,550 Neil Degrasse Tyson 595 00:22:03,550 --> 00:22:04,573 and Carl Sagan. 596 00:22:06,182 --> 00:22:07,015 But like any other genius, 597 00:22:07,015 --> 00:22:08,150 if you want to throw them off, 598 00:22:08,150 --> 00:22:09,810 get them on a sex topic. 599 00:22:09,810 --> 00:22:12,210 It totally throws a genius off. 600 00:22:12,210 --> 00:22:14,520 Einstein can come up with a theory of relativity, 601 00:22:14,520 --> 00:22:16,730 but ask that non-practicing Jew krout 602 00:22:16,730 --> 00:22:18,830 to find the G spot on a woman, 603 00:22:18,830 --> 00:22:20,740 and he will be more shaken 604 00:22:20,740 --> 00:22:22,440 than Richard Spencer 605 00:22:22,440 --> 00:22:24,764 asking for directions in a KFC 606 00:22:24,764 --> 00:22:25,650 on the southside of Chicago. 607 00:22:25,650 --> 00:22:26,483 - You know, 608 00:22:27,622 --> 00:22:28,667 I was thinking 609 00:22:28,667 --> 00:22:31,425 on the topic of black holes again. 610 00:22:31,425 --> 00:22:33,230 - Here we go. 611 00:22:33,230 --> 00:22:34,900 - We do not know 612 00:22:34,900 --> 00:22:36,865 what laws of physics apply within a black hole. 613 00:22:36,865 --> 00:22:38,865 We just don't. 614 00:22:38,865 --> 00:22:40,467 We're applying standard laws of physics, 615 00:22:40,467 --> 00:22:41,810 but they can't apply there. 616 00:22:41,810 --> 00:22:42,643 They can't. 617 00:22:43,484 --> 00:22:44,317 - Again, 618 00:22:45,265 --> 00:22:46,550 the standard laws of physics 619 00:22:46,550 --> 00:22:48,300 can apply to a black hole 620 00:22:48,300 --> 00:22:50,110 if there is any presence 621 00:22:50,110 --> 00:22:51,770 of something here on earth 622 00:22:51,770 --> 00:22:53,230 such as 623 00:22:53,230 --> 00:22:54,200 gravity. 624 00:22:54,200 --> 00:22:55,033 - Gravity. 625 00:22:55,033 --> 00:22:57,201 Oh, so that's what Google was talking about 626 00:22:57,201 --> 00:22:58,380 when I looked it up earlier. 627 00:22:58,380 --> 00:22:59,213 - Yes, 628 00:22:59,213 --> 00:23:02,130 the same gravity that takes this beautiful dart 629 00:23:02,130 --> 00:23:03,100 to the black 630 00:23:03,100 --> 00:23:04,700 hole of that 631 00:23:04,700 --> 00:23:07,190 gaping bullseye. 632 00:23:07,190 --> 00:23:08,370 Right in the center. 633 00:23:08,370 --> 00:23:09,203 Don't look. 634 00:23:10,750 --> 00:23:11,860 - Well, 635 00:23:11,860 --> 00:23:13,100 - Jesus Christ. 636 00:23:13,100 --> 00:23:16,321 What in the world of Breaking Bad biology did I walk in on? 637 00:23:16,321 --> 00:23:18,253 - [Both] Matt. 638 00:23:19,120 --> 00:23:21,004 - You nerds talking about 639 00:23:21,004 --> 00:23:23,520 Black holes again? 640 00:23:23,520 --> 00:23:25,190 - Just because we identify as nerds 641 00:23:25,190 --> 00:23:26,970 doesn't mean you can call us nerds. 642 00:23:26,970 --> 00:23:28,110 We can call each other nerds. 643 00:23:28,110 --> 00:23:29,540 You can't call us nerds. 644 00:23:29,540 --> 00:23:30,520 Nerd. 645 00:23:30,520 --> 00:23:32,080 - Hey, nerd. 646 00:23:32,080 --> 00:23:32,913 - Hey. 647 00:23:32,913 --> 00:23:34,400 - Yes, we're talking about black holes. 648 00:23:34,400 --> 00:23:36,250 - Man, you guys talk about black holes 649 00:23:36,250 --> 00:23:37,996 more than Robert Pinero. 650 00:23:37,996 --> 00:23:41,950 - Hold on. 651 00:23:41,950 --> 00:23:43,884 He's doing that comedy thing again. 652 00:23:43,884 --> 00:23:45,080 (laughter) 653 00:23:45,080 --> 00:23:46,440 Because 654 00:23:46,440 --> 00:23:47,340 Robert De Niro, 655 00:23:47,340 --> 00:23:48,822 Bobby as I call him, 656 00:23:48,822 --> 00:23:50,990 he likes black women. 657 00:23:50,990 --> 00:23:52,305 So that is funny. 658 00:23:52,305 --> 00:23:53,590 (laughter) 659 00:23:53,590 --> 00:23:54,530 - Bobby of Niro 660 00:23:54,530 --> 00:23:56,065 likes black. 661 00:23:56,065 --> 00:23:58,444 (laughter) 662 00:23:58,444 --> 00:23:59,960 (inaudible) 663 00:23:59,960 --> 00:24:00,959 - Jesus guys. 664 00:24:00,959 --> 00:24:01,964 Seriously. 665 00:24:01,964 --> 00:24:02,961 But I'll play along. 666 00:24:02,961 --> 00:24:04,385 - Oh. 667 00:24:04,385 --> 00:24:05,382 - So, 668 00:24:05,382 --> 00:24:06,215 let's just say the guy particle accelerator 669 00:24:06,215 --> 00:24:08,780 and taken out all these mini black holes. 670 00:24:08,780 --> 00:24:10,401 - Yes, you're speaking my language. 671 00:24:10,401 --> 00:24:13,620 - They go ahead and toss us 672 00:24:13,620 --> 00:24:15,564 into the Mandela Effect. 673 00:24:15,564 --> 00:24:17,987 Mandela Effect. 674 00:24:17,987 --> 00:24:20,830 The Mandela Effect refers to an enlarged number of people 675 00:24:20,830 --> 00:24:22,350 share a false memory, 676 00:24:22,350 --> 00:24:24,660 originally attributed to the existence 677 00:24:24,660 --> 00:24:26,240 of multiple universes. 678 00:24:26,240 --> 00:24:27,840 Are we currently residing in it? 679 00:24:29,840 --> 00:24:30,945 - Let's see. 680 00:24:30,945 --> 00:24:33,278 (inaudible) 681 00:24:36,588 --> 00:24:37,522 Answer the question. 682 00:24:37,522 --> 00:24:38,545 - Bernstein. 683 00:24:38,545 --> 00:24:41,185 I guess you could be a possibility. 684 00:24:41,185 --> 00:24:42,393 Next question. 685 00:24:43,600 --> 00:24:45,206 - It could be a possibility. 686 00:24:45,206 --> 00:24:46,730 - But. 687 00:24:46,730 --> 00:24:49,206 - If only you were to believe in 688 00:24:49,206 --> 00:24:51,160 alternate timelines. 689 00:24:51,160 --> 00:24:52,970 Or I don't know, 690 00:24:52,970 --> 00:24:54,030 maybe something 691 00:24:54,030 --> 00:24:55,906 like alternate universes. 692 00:24:55,906 --> 00:24:57,321 (laughter) 693 00:24:57,321 --> 00:24:58,840 A bubble universe. 694 00:24:58,840 --> 00:24:59,800 (inaudible) 695 00:24:59,800 --> 00:25:00,633 - I get it. 696 00:25:01,581 --> 00:25:02,586 Like Rick and Morty, right. 697 00:25:02,586 --> 00:25:05,110 - No, I don't like Rick and Morty. 698 00:25:05,110 --> 00:25:06,540 It's too smart for me. 699 00:25:06,540 --> 00:25:07,900 Make my brain hurt. 700 00:25:07,900 --> 00:25:08,733 - Pickle. 701 00:25:10,188 --> 00:25:11,868 - Pickle dick. 702 00:25:11,868 --> 00:25:12,970 Ow. 703 00:25:12,970 --> 00:25:14,320 - It's pickle Rick. 704 00:25:14,320 --> 00:25:16,086 I got another question for you guys. 705 00:25:16,086 --> 00:25:17,980 You think 706 00:25:17,980 --> 00:25:19,564 because - Yes. 707 00:25:19,564 --> 00:25:20,960 - These black holes opening, 708 00:25:20,960 --> 00:25:23,265 toss us into an alternate universe 709 00:25:23,265 --> 00:25:25,423 within ourselves 710 00:25:25,423 --> 00:25:29,110 that we actually have non binary people. 711 00:25:29,110 --> 00:25:31,639 People who do not identify 712 00:25:31,639 --> 00:25:33,360 as either gender, 713 00:25:33,360 --> 00:25:35,780 nor masculine, nor feminine. 714 00:25:35,780 --> 00:25:38,364 That they see neither of them. 715 00:25:38,364 --> 00:25:42,610 That however they exist outside the binary, 716 00:25:42,610 --> 00:25:45,640 and outside the cis normativity. 717 00:25:45,640 --> 00:25:47,200 I'm telling you some people 718 00:25:47,200 --> 00:25:49,550 do not see gender, but just see 719 00:25:49,550 --> 00:25:53,270 who they actually are as a person. 720 00:25:53,270 --> 00:25:54,764 - See people. 721 00:25:54,764 --> 00:25:59,063 I've been to 17 different colleges. 722 00:26:02,210 --> 00:26:03,559 - Dizzy. 723 00:26:03,559 --> 00:26:04,930 Matt, 724 00:26:04,930 --> 00:26:08,623 what the fuck are you talking about man? 725 00:26:08,623 --> 00:26:09,704 - Yeah. 726 00:26:09,704 --> 00:26:11,846 What are you saying? 727 00:26:11,846 --> 00:26:12,929 - I'm just saying 728 00:26:12,929 --> 00:26:14,370 these people don't see gender. 729 00:26:14,370 --> 00:26:16,086 - You're hurting Dipshitowits one. 730 00:26:16,086 --> 00:26:17,733 - Shut up, Dipshitowits two. 731 00:26:18,806 --> 00:26:21,786 - How can you not see gender? 732 00:26:21,786 --> 00:26:22,619 That's 733 00:26:23,708 --> 00:26:25,260 all you can see when you're doing it. 734 00:26:25,260 --> 00:26:26,130 Look, 735 00:26:26,130 --> 00:26:27,809 hey, hey, hey. 736 00:26:27,809 --> 00:26:29,328 Honk, honk. 737 00:26:29,328 --> 00:26:30,850 Honk, honk. 738 00:26:30,850 --> 00:26:31,750 - It's all you can see. 739 00:26:31,750 --> 00:26:34,348 It's all you can see. 740 00:26:34,348 --> 00:26:36,806 - Hey, hey, gender, gender, 741 00:26:36,806 --> 00:26:38,060 gender, gender. 742 00:26:38,060 --> 00:26:39,804 Hey, hey, hey. 743 00:26:39,804 --> 00:26:40,958 - Let's put it, 744 00:26:40,958 --> 00:26:41,934 hey, 745 00:26:41,934 --> 00:26:43,033 hey. 746 00:26:43,033 --> 00:26:44,472 Hey. - I'm doing both parts. 747 00:26:44,472 --> 00:26:45,305 Hey. 748 00:26:45,305 --> 00:26:46,310 What? 749 00:26:46,310 --> 00:26:48,020 - You're gonna get us kicked out again. 750 00:26:48,020 --> 00:26:48,913 - Sorry. 751 00:26:48,913 --> 00:26:49,746 Sorry. 752 00:26:49,746 --> 00:26:50,579 - What are you gonna do? 753 00:26:50,579 --> 00:26:52,433 Oh yeah, here's a big seven inch 754 00:26:52,433 --> 00:26:54,230 dark and red veiny, 755 00:26:54,230 --> 00:26:55,440 sweaty, 756 00:26:55,440 --> 00:26:57,553 smelly non-binary. 757 00:26:57,553 --> 00:26:59,233 - It's my big, 758 00:26:59,233 --> 00:27:00,593 huge, 759 00:27:00,593 --> 00:27:01,510 two inches, 760 00:27:02,593 --> 00:27:03,596 give or take 761 00:27:03,596 --> 00:27:04,876 veiny. 762 00:27:04,876 --> 00:27:06,193 Looks almost like-- 763 00:27:06,193 --> 00:27:08,694 - Big, huge, 764 00:27:08,694 --> 00:27:09,916 two inches? 765 00:27:09,916 --> 00:27:11,196 - Go. 766 00:27:11,196 --> 00:27:12,211 - I mean, 767 00:27:12,211 --> 00:27:13,414 I don't think they see it kind of that way boys. 768 00:27:13,414 --> 00:27:15,710 - Well you sometimes you need a microscope, 769 00:27:15,710 --> 00:27:16,853 but you can see it that way. 770 00:27:16,853 --> 00:27:17,810 - You can see it. 771 00:27:17,810 --> 00:27:19,290 I've looked. 772 00:27:19,290 --> 00:27:20,870 Scientific curiosity. 773 00:27:20,870 --> 00:27:21,743 Nothing weird. 774 00:27:23,230 --> 00:27:24,833 Look, Matt, 775 00:27:24,833 --> 00:27:26,300 let's put it in dummy language. 776 00:27:26,300 --> 00:27:28,214 - Yeah, we're the Dipshits. 777 00:27:28,214 --> 00:27:29,713 Sure. 778 00:27:29,713 --> 00:27:30,546 (laughter) 779 00:27:30,546 --> 00:27:31,379 - There's no denying dick. 780 00:27:31,379 --> 00:27:32,212 - Yeah. 781 00:27:32,212 --> 00:27:33,045 - [Both] There's no denying dick. 782 00:27:33,045 --> 00:27:34,296 There's no denying dick. 783 00:27:34,296 --> 00:27:35,879 There's no denying dick. 784 00:27:35,879 --> 00:27:37,297 There's no denying dick. 785 00:27:37,297 --> 00:27:38,715 There's no denying dick. 786 00:27:38,715 --> 00:27:40,220 There's no denying dick. 787 00:27:40,220 --> 00:27:41,676 There's no denying dick. 788 00:27:41,676 --> 00:27:42,593 There's no. 789 00:27:43,478 --> 00:27:44,556 - You know what. 790 00:27:44,556 --> 00:27:45,596 - What? 791 00:27:45,596 --> 00:27:46,429 - Let's go home. 792 00:27:46,429 --> 00:27:47,396 - Yeah. 793 00:27:47,396 --> 00:27:48,419 - Get the whiteboard out, 794 00:27:48,419 --> 00:27:49,253 put some fricking Windex on it. 795 00:27:53,180 --> 00:27:55,240 And then we're gonna figure this out 796 00:27:55,240 --> 00:27:58,010 for once and for all. 797 00:27:58,010 --> 00:27:58,843 - Yeah Matt. 798 00:27:58,843 --> 00:28:00,959 You're such a fricking A-hole. 799 00:28:00,959 --> 00:28:03,140 Pardon my language, but 800 00:28:03,140 --> 00:28:04,020 we're trying to 801 00:28:04,020 --> 00:28:05,839 go on solve 802 00:28:05,839 --> 00:28:06,672 the straight dairy problem. 803 00:28:06,672 --> 00:28:08,457 Now you got me all twisted up. 804 00:28:08,457 --> 00:28:09,624 Now we have to 805 00:28:10,614 --> 00:28:11,730 fricking solve 806 00:28:11,730 --> 00:28:12,880 non-binary. 807 00:28:12,880 --> 00:28:14,690 - Computer scientists. 808 00:28:14,690 --> 00:28:15,523 Let's go. 809 00:28:19,300 --> 00:28:20,863 - A couple of science nerds, 810 00:28:20,863 --> 00:28:22,450 they're not very PC. 811 00:28:22,450 --> 00:28:23,283 Indepedent film. 812 00:28:24,639 --> 00:28:27,421 They must have meant Independent film. 813 00:28:27,421 --> 00:28:30,959 The Mandela Effect. 814 00:28:30,959 --> 00:28:31,830 But an Independent film 815 00:28:31,830 --> 00:28:33,401 set in Waterloo, Iowa 816 00:28:33,401 --> 00:28:35,503 named Bros. 817 00:28:35,503 --> 00:28:37,023 Oh man, that's got to suck. 818 00:28:38,340 --> 00:28:39,300 - You running off my customers again? 819 00:28:39,300 --> 00:28:40,940 - Come on man, they were just gonna drink up 820 00:28:40,940 --> 00:28:42,380 my fucking favorite scotch. 821 00:28:42,380 --> 00:28:43,919 - Doesn't matter. 822 00:28:43,919 --> 00:28:45,037 - Tell you what, 823 00:28:45,037 --> 00:28:47,650 I'm gonna drink the majority of that bottle 824 00:28:47,650 --> 00:28:49,160 in there anyways. 825 00:28:49,160 --> 00:28:51,641 And they were probably gonna have a bunch of waters. 826 00:28:51,641 --> 00:28:53,190 It won't matter. 827 00:28:53,190 --> 00:28:54,500 They're science dorks. 828 00:28:54,500 --> 00:28:55,990 I'm a drunk. 829 00:28:55,990 --> 00:28:56,883 I pay more. 830 00:28:58,340 --> 00:29:00,160 - I love alcoholism. 831 00:29:00,160 --> 00:29:01,677 - Hey, hey, 832 00:29:01,677 --> 00:29:03,040 the Waterloo Manati meeting just let out? 833 00:29:03,040 --> 00:29:04,100 - Matt, good to see you. 834 00:29:04,100 --> 00:29:05,530 - Good seeing you. 835 00:29:05,530 --> 00:29:07,544 - Where's your buddy, Tanner? 836 00:29:07,544 --> 00:29:09,763 - He's out with his fiance tonight. 837 00:29:09,763 --> 00:29:10,660 - Yep. 838 00:29:10,660 --> 00:29:13,043 That happens when you get older. 839 00:29:13,043 --> 00:29:14,803 People, they get married. 840 00:29:14,803 --> 00:29:15,713 They have kids. 841 00:29:16,570 --> 00:29:18,062 Be happy for your friend. 842 00:29:18,062 --> 00:29:20,290 - Yeah, speaking of which, 843 00:29:20,290 --> 00:29:21,867 he's playing scrabble with her. 844 00:29:21,867 --> 00:29:24,302 Check out the word he played. 845 00:29:24,302 --> 00:29:25,790 - Oh, yeah. 846 00:29:25,790 --> 00:29:27,530 That's nice placement there on that Q. 847 00:29:27,530 --> 00:29:29,064 Triple letter score. 848 00:29:29,064 --> 00:29:30,720 63 points. 849 00:29:30,720 --> 00:29:31,793 Very nice. 850 00:29:32,970 --> 00:29:33,990 - Yeah. 851 00:29:33,990 --> 00:29:35,090 I hate drinking alone. 852 00:29:38,120 --> 00:29:39,960 - Eat your bread 853 00:29:39,960 --> 00:29:41,840 with joy and drink your wine 854 00:29:41,840 --> 00:29:42,850 with a merry heart, 855 00:29:42,850 --> 00:29:44,640 for god has already approved 856 00:29:44,640 --> 00:29:46,080 what you do. 857 00:29:46,080 --> 00:29:47,200 - That's beautiful. 858 00:29:47,200 --> 00:29:48,680 Who's that? 859 00:29:48,680 --> 00:29:49,704 Luke Bryant? 860 00:29:49,704 --> 00:29:50,702 Kanye West? 861 00:29:50,702 --> 00:29:52,020 - It's Ecclesiastes nine seven. 862 00:29:52,020 --> 00:29:53,203 It's from the bible. 863 00:29:53,203 --> 00:29:54,270 - Yeah. 864 00:29:54,270 --> 00:29:56,382 I always try to give musicians way too much credit. 865 00:29:56,382 --> 00:29:59,077 - Let me ask you something, 866 00:29:59,077 --> 00:30:00,641 what have you done so far today? 867 00:30:00,641 --> 00:30:02,702 - Well, it started off. 868 00:30:02,702 --> 00:30:04,100 I had some shots with Jeff Lance at the Library. 869 00:30:04,100 --> 00:30:05,170 I went and saw 870 00:30:05,170 --> 00:30:07,070 pro-wrestling at the Five Sullivan Center. 871 00:30:07,070 --> 00:30:10,106 And went and saw Pamela The Punisher Poet next door. 872 00:30:10,106 --> 00:30:11,706 It's been pretty cool. 873 00:30:11,706 --> 00:30:14,850 - All that in the course of one Saturday afternoon 874 00:30:14,850 --> 00:30:16,106 in the Cedar Valley. 875 00:30:16,106 --> 00:30:17,760 You know, 876 00:30:17,760 --> 00:30:19,880 the Douist define grace 877 00:30:19,880 --> 00:30:21,240 not so much 878 00:30:21,240 --> 00:30:23,400 by the words that you say, 879 00:30:23,400 --> 00:30:24,510 but by your actions, 880 00:30:24,510 --> 00:30:25,343 your movements, 881 00:30:25,343 --> 00:30:26,393 how you live life. 882 00:30:27,330 --> 00:30:30,190 You have more wealth in these few city blocks 883 00:30:30,190 --> 00:30:31,430 than most people have 884 00:30:31,430 --> 00:30:32,710 anywhere in the world. 885 00:30:32,710 --> 00:30:34,149 Where else, 886 00:30:34,149 --> 00:30:34,982 other than 887 00:30:34,982 --> 00:30:36,149 maybe Las Vegas or something 888 00:30:36,149 --> 00:30:36,982 can you get 889 00:30:36,982 --> 00:30:38,687 a glass of scotch that full? 890 00:30:38,687 --> 00:30:41,980 Be happy for your friends, 891 00:30:41,980 --> 00:30:43,160 for they come and go. 892 00:30:43,160 --> 00:30:46,110 You know they'll always be those children 893 00:30:46,110 --> 00:30:47,100 and those wives out there. 894 00:30:47,100 --> 00:30:48,130 Be happy for them too 895 00:30:48,130 --> 00:30:50,506 because this too may come for you someday. 896 00:30:50,506 --> 00:30:51,339 - Yeah. 897 00:30:53,029 --> 00:30:54,229 What if it doesn't? 898 00:30:54,229 --> 00:30:56,240 - Well then you're just another old guy at a bar. 899 00:30:56,240 --> 00:30:57,669 But see that's okay too. 900 00:30:57,669 --> 00:31:01,060 You need to cherish your memories, 901 00:31:01,060 --> 00:31:02,549 enjoy your scotch, 902 00:31:02,549 --> 00:31:04,926 and remember the five Sullivan brothers. 903 00:31:04,926 --> 00:31:08,250 They would have loved to be able to come back to this town 904 00:31:08,250 --> 00:31:11,288 and enjoy it the way that you have. 905 00:31:11,288 --> 00:31:13,393 - How'd you get so wise? 906 00:31:16,140 --> 00:31:18,430 - I come from Oelwein, Iowa. 907 00:31:18,430 --> 00:31:21,050 Oh hey, I have two tickets to the court games. 908 00:31:21,050 --> 00:31:24,380 Starts in about 15 minutes. 909 00:31:24,380 --> 00:31:26,100 If you can find somebody to go with you, great. 910 00:31:26,100 --> 00:31:28,191 If not, then you just enjoy your evening. 911 00:31:28,191 --> 00:31:30,393 - Thanks man. 912 00:31:31,348 --> 00:31:33,400 I always appreciated our friendship. 913 00:31:33,400 --> 00:31:34,410 - Take care. 914 00:31:34,410 --> 00:31:36,283 Finish that scotch. 915 00:31:41,223 --> 00:31:43,640 (rock music) 916 00:31:50,120 --> 00:31:51,647 - [Matt] The Cedar Valley court games. 917 00:31:51,647 --> 00:31:55,566 Waterloo's Midwest professional basketball team. 918 00:31:55,566 --> 00:31:59,510 Actually, the Midwest professional basketball league 919 00:31:59,510 --> 00:32:00,889 champions. 920 00:32:00,889 --> 00:32:03,556 (group chatter) 921 00:32:17,929 --> 00:32:20,346 (rock music) 922 00:32:29,050 --> 00:32:31,717 (piano playing) 923 00:32:49,630 --> 00:32:51,226 - Speaking of broke, 924 00:32:51,226 --> 00:32:52,059 do you have enough money to finish 925 00:32:52,059 --> 00:32:52,892 paying for your haircut? 926 00:32:53,910 --> 00:32:55,146 - I see, it's cool, it's cool. 927 00:32:55,146 --> 00:32:56,149 It's hard out here man. 928 00:32:56,149 --> 00:32:58,890 - You look like Raggedy Anne after a house fire, man. 929 00:32:58,890 --> 00:33:00,870 - People's hair, 930 00:33:00,870 --> 00:33:02,730 I mean one more hair strand falls out your hair, man, 931 00:33:02,730 --> 00:33:04,970 you're gonna look like broke Bruce Willis or something. 932 00:33:04,970 --> 00:33:06,466 I'm just saying. 933 00:33:06,466 --> 00:33:07,967 - Jersey Shore reject. 934 00:33:07,967 --> 00:33:09,097 You look like old Asians (inaudible). 935 00:33:09,967 --> 00:33:11,781 - Speaking of that, 936 00:33:11,781 --> 00:33:13,100 you sure look like you came off the gas 937 00:33:13,100 --> 00:33:14,100 golf course seven. 938 00:33:14,100 --> 00:33:15,550 - I did, I see you dad there. 939 00:33:16,680 --> 00:33:18,264 - Speaking of rejects, 940 00:33:18,264 --> 00:33:19,269 like your hairline's been rejecting 941 00:33:19,269 --> 00:33:20,330 your forehead a little bit. 942 00:33:20,330 --> 00:33:21,610 I don't know what's going on. 943 00:33:21,610 --> 00:33:22,607 - Your hairline look like a fundraiser. 944 00:33:22,607 --> 00:33:23,440 I'm sorry. 945 00:33:24,826 --> 00:33:25,659 - You guys are black. 946 00:33:26,662 --> 00:33:28,506 (laughter) 947 00:33:28,506 --> 00:33:31,003 - You kind of look like an Oreo. 948 00:33:32,069 --> 00:33:33,130 - A broreo. 949 00:33:33,130 --> 00:33:34,148 - A broreo. 950 00:33:34,148 --> 00:33:35,189 I like that. 951 00:33:35,189 --> 00:33:36,329 I like that, let's toast to that right there. 952 00:33:36,329 --> 00:33:37,327 - Bros for life. - Bros for life. 953 00:33:37,327 --> 00:33:39,994 (piano playing) 954 00:33:42,021 --> 00:33:43,024 - So I was thinking, 955 00:33:43,024 --> 00:33:44,030 and I think I might like the sound 956 00:33:45,269 --> 00:33:46,220 of some little feet pitter pattering. 957 00:33:46,220 --> 00:33:48,230 I think maybe we should start a family. 958 00:33:48,230 --> 00:33:49,063 - Oh my god. 959 00:33:49,063 --> 00:33:50,720 I love being your wife. 960 00:33:50,720 --> 00:33:52,047 I would make such a great mom. 961 00:33:52,047 --> 00:33:53,190 I would love to have 962 00:33:53,190 --> 00:33:54,570 a little boy or girl with you. 963 00:33:54,570 --> 00:33:55,460 - Okay. 964 00:33:55,460 --> 00:33:56,850 I'll throw away the condoms. 965 00:33:56,850 --> 00:33:57,980 You start taking your temperature 966 00:33:57,980 --> 00:33:59,090 and charting your days. 967 00:33:59,090 --> 00:34:00,650 And I'll triangulate the insemination 968 00:34:00,650 --> 00:34:01,680 for the best possible outcome. 969 00:34:01,680 --> 00:34:03,240 - The way you sound it, 970 00:34:03,240 --> 00:34:04,340 it's so dirty. 971 00:34:04,340 --> 00:34:05,173 I love it. 972 00:34:06,840 --> 00:34:07,800 - Black Hawk county seat 973 00:34:07,800 --> 00:34:09,610 was originally in Cedar Falls. 974 00:34:09,610 --> 00:34:11,070 - Yeah, and then some Waterloo residents 975 00:34:11,070 --> 00:34:12,550 went over and seized the documents 976 00:34:12,550 --> 00:34:14,030 and brought them back to Waterloo. 977 00:34:14,030 --> 00:34:15,060 - Wait, is this a story 978 00:34:15,060 --> 00:34:16,650 where they threw eggs at each other? 979 00:34:16,650 --> 00:34:17,749 - Yeah, they called it the egg war. 980 00:34:17,749 --> 00:34:19,950 - Hard boiled. 981 00:34:19,950 --> 00:34:21,546 Just like city councils in these towns. 982 00:34:21,546 --> 00:34:23,010 - Or over easy, 983 00:34:23,010 --> 00:34:24,810 like the Cedar Valley women. 984 00:34:24,810 --> 00:34:27,260 - So according to this, 985 00:34:27,260 --> 00:34:29,624 we conceived on the weekend of the 11th and the 12th. 986 00:34:29,624 --> 00:34:32,240 - Hey, that was the weekend 987 00:34:32,240 --> 00:34:34,830 I was out of town at my nana's funeral. 988 00:34:34,830 --> 00:34:35,744 - Oh my god. 989 00:34:35,744 --> 00:34:37,268 Sorry. 990 00:34:37,268 --> 00:34:38,640 - It's okay. 991 00:34:38,640 --> 00:34:40,640 I fucked somebody else that weekend too. 992 00:34:41,520 --> 00:34:42,353 - C'est la vie. 993 00:34:42,353 --> 00:34:43,403 - Sera, sera. 994 00:34:45,010 --> 00:34:47,429 - Mom, you got to stop hitting on guys my age. 995 00:34:47,429 --> 00:34:49,380 Stop flirting with my guy friends. 996 00:34:49,380 --> 00:34:51,870 - You know people think we could 997 00:34:51,870 --> 00:34:53,247 actually be sisters. 998 00:34:53,247 --> 00:34:55,070 - You slow down. 999 00:34:55,070 --> 00:34:56,430 You're way too much. 1000 00:34:56,430 --> 00:34:58,047 - I am a cougar. 1001 00:34:58,047 --> 00:34:59,829 It's our time now. 1002 00:34:59,829 --> 00:35:02,010 I will not slow down. 1003 00:35:02,010 --> 00:35:05,050 It's MILF time. 1004 00:35:05,050 --> 00:35:05,883 - Gross. 1005 00:35:05,883 --> 00:35:08,030 - Your little friend, Jake, didn't think so. 1006 00:35:09,306 --> 00:35:11,973 (piano playing) 1007 00:35:19,004 --> 00:35:21,030 - [Matt] This is Elias, 1008 00:35:21,030 --> 00:35:22,469 a good Christian boy. 1009 00:35:22,469 --> 00:35:24,780 Drank way too much one night. 1010 00:35:24,780 --> 00:35:29,160 Actually, he went on an entire weekend bender. 1011 00:35:29,160 --> 00:35:32,250 Now, he's in alcoholic's anonymous. 1012 00:35:32,250 --> 00:35:34,309 So we refer to him as 1013 00:35:34,309 --> 00:35:36,780 AA Elias. 1014 00:35:36,780 --> 00:35:38,543 - Shit this shit's (inaudible) man. 1015 00:35:40,582 --> 00:35:42,467 Why don't they fix this shit, dude? 1016 00:35:42,467 --> 00:35:45,267 (inaudible) 1017 00:35:45,267 --> 00:35:46,684 Who gives a shit. 1018 00:35:51,710 --> 00:35:53,040 - Hey, Jorge. 1019 00:35:53,040 --> 00:35:54,305 - What you want, dude? 1020 00:35:54,305 --> 00:35:55,630 - You know I'm really concerned about you man. 1021 00:35:55,630 --> 00:35:57,266 I'm really concerned about your health. 1022 00:35:57,266 --> 00:35:58,526 Hwy don't you take a look at this. 1023 00:35:58,526 --> 00:36:00,020 Really could help you out. 1024 00:36:00,020 --> 00:36:01,010 - You think? 1025 00:36:01,010 --> 00:36:02,606 - Yeah man. 1026 00:36:02,606 --> 00:36:03,820 It helped me. 1027 00:36:03,820 --> 00:36:05,048 - Whatever dude. 1028 00:36:05,048 --> 00:36:06,410 Go away dude, I'm drinking. 1029 00:36:06,410 --> 00:36:07,540 - Alright, just think about it, man. 1030 00:36:07,540 --> 00:36:09,129 - Yeah whatever dude. 1031 00:36:09,129 --> 00:36:09,979 Go fuck yourself. 1032 00:36:19,710 --> 00:36:21,377 Holy shit, AA works. 1033 00:36:23,920 --> 00:36:25,571 Alright. 1034 00:36:25,571 --> 00:36:28,238 (piano playing) 1035 00:36:35,460 --> 00:36:36,931 - I love the two of you in Oz. 1036 00:36:36,931 --> 00:36:38,969 - What's up man. 1037 00:36:38,969 --> 00:36:41,528 - Hey, what's up Jorge? 1038 00:36:41,528 --> 00:36:42,707 What's up dude? 1039 00:36:42,707 --> 00:36:43,747 Marcel, can I get another run? 1040 00:36:43,747 --> 00:36:44,580 Thank you. 1041 00:36:45,609 --> 00:36:46,887 - This time of the day, dude? 1042 00:36:46,887 --> 00:36:47,720 - Yeah. 1043 00:36:49,507 --> 00:36:50,980 You have the same one too. 1044 00:36:50,980 --> 00:36:52,089 - I'm in mourning dude. 1045 00:36:52,089 --> 00:36:54,771 - Yeah, I guess I'm in mourning too. 1046 00:36:54,771 --> 00:36:57,390 - Why, Anthony Bourdain too? 1047 00:36:57,390 --> 00:36:58,280 You heard about that shit too? 1048 00:36:58,280 --> 00:37:00,010 - No, Tanner. 1049 00:37:00,010 --> 00:37:01,440 He's got a fiance. 1050 00:37:01,440 --> 00:37:02,370 Can't hang out with me. 1051 00:37:02,370 --> 00:37:03,520 - He found someone tighter than you, huh. 1052 00:37:03,520 --> 00:37:05,190 - Yeah, I guess in a way. 1053 00:37:05,190 --> 00:37:06,710 - In a way? 1054 00:37:06,710 --> 00:37:08,211 Really? 1055 00:37:08,211 --> 00:37:09,370 - Yeah. 1056 00:37:09,370 --> 00:37:10,950 Who's fucking push light is that? 1057 00:37:10,950 --> 00:37:11,890 - That's that milk weed, 1058 00:37:11,890 --> 00:37:13,210 Tyler of the tool. 1059 00:37:13,210 --> 00:37:14,043 - Oh Jesus Christ. 1060 00:37:14,043 --> 00:37:16,350 Was diet mountain dew too spicy? 1061 00:37:16,350 --> 00:37:17,529 - For that milk weed 1062 00:37:17,529 --> 00:37:19,129 (inaudible) motherfucker, maybe. 1063 00:37:22,510 --> 00:37:23,369 - Oh yeah. 1064 00:37:23,369 --> 00:37:25,630 Extra cheese was a good call. 1065 00:37:25,630 --> 00:37:26,880 It's a two flusher, baby. 1066 00:37:34,830 --> 00:37:38,270 Pouring one out for your dead homies over there? 1067 00:37:38,270 --> 00:37:39,720 (laughter) 1068 00:37:39,720 --> 00:37:40,990 You guys both have a grinder. 1069 00:37:40,990 --> 00:37:42,130 That's how you guys met. 1070 00:37:42,130 --> 00:37:42,963 That's awesome. 1071 00:37:42,963 --> 00:37:44,307 Good for you guys. 1072 00:37:44,307 --> 00:37:45,140 You guys are a beautiful couple. 1073 00:37:45,140 --> 00:37:45,973 I like the melting pot 1074 00:37:45,973 --> 00:37:47,529 kind of situation going on here. 1075 00:37:47,529 --> 00:37:48,968 - Hey, at least I get swiped right, motherfucker. 1076 00:37:48,968 --> 00:37:50,860 Hey, what's with the jacket? 1077 00:37:50,860 --> 00:37:52,409 Were you worried about the Jews replacing you? 1078 00:37:52,409 --> 00:37:54,970 - You couldn't replace me. 1079 00:37:54,970 --> 00:37:56,306 I look like 1080 00:37:56,306 --> 00:37:58,220 if Adolph Hitler could perfectly design somebody. 1081 00:37:58,220 --> 00:38:01,129 A genetically modified boy band member basically. 1082 00:38:01,129 --> 00:38:02,187 (laughter) 1083 00:38:02,187 --> 00:38:03,720 - Yeah, the Richard Spencer Five. 1084 00:38:03,720 --> 00:38:04,553 I've heard of them. 1085 00:38:04,553 --> 00:38:05,557 - You're just like my uncle. 1086 00:38:05,557 --> 00:38:06,603 You went south of the border. 1087 00:38:06,603 --> 00:38:08,350 You got a nice Hispanic wife. 1088 00:38:08,350 --> 00:38:09,360 You're like the guy 1089 00:38:09,360 --> 00:38:10,420 from Modern Family. 1090 00:38:10,420 --> 00:38:11,253 That's awesome. 1091 00:38:12,089 --> 00:38:12,922 (laughter) 1092 00:38:12,922 --> 00:38:14,589 - You're adorable. 1093 00:38:14,589 --> 00:38:15,880 - That's like your mom said. 1094 00:38:15,880 --> 00:38:16,840 She thinks I'm real cute. 1095 00:38:16,840 --> 00:38:19,730 She put me up in her big strong Mexican arms, 1096 00:38:19,730 --> 00:38:21,440 like a big bundle of fruit. 1097 00:38:21,440 --> 00:38:22,968 Just picked me up. 1098 00:38:22,968 --> 00:38:23,971 - Hey, 1099 00:38:23,971 --> 00:38:24,804 where's your dipshit friend at? 1100 00:38:24,804 --> 00:38:25,985 Tyler? 1101 00:38:25,985 --> 00:38:26,818 - Pulling doubles over at the golf course, man. 1102 00:38:26,818 --> 00:38:27,651 Golf pro. 1103 00:38:27,651 --> 00:38:28,640 Making that good money. 1104 00:38:28,640 --> 00:38:30,180 He's got a kid on the way. 1105 00:38:31,843 --> 00:38:33,145 He fucks girls, unlike you guys. 1106 00:38:33,145 --> 00:38:35,190 - Putting. 1107 00:38:35,190 --> 00:38:36,610 The short game. 1108 00:38:36,610 --> 00:38:39,027 Well, half the game actually. 1109 00:38:39,027 --> 00:38:40,787 You master this, and 1110 00:38:40,787 --> 00:38:44,766 I think I see a little green jacket in your future. 1111 00:38:44,766 --> 00:38:46,143 But, 1112 00:38:47,185 --> 00:38:49,520 but you got to eye on the ball 1113 00:38:49,520 --> 00:38:51,610 and then put through 1114 00:38:51,610 --> 00:38:52,663 to the hole. 1115 00:38:52,663 --> 00:38:55,010 Through to the hole. 1116 00:38:55,010 --> 00:38:55,843 But, 1117 00:38:56,690 --> 00:38:57,945 you got to focus. 1118 00:38:57,945 --> 00:38:59,350 Buddy. 1119 00:38:59,350 --> 00:39:00,183 Focus. 1120 00:39:16,980 --> 00:39:18,481 - Hey, I thought that was a baby ruth in Caddyshack. 1121 00:39:18,481 --> 00:39:21,100 - Yeah, but all they had was snickers. 1122 00:39:21,100 --> 00:39:23,324 - Hey, no more Caddyshack references. 1123 00:39:23,324 --> 00:39:25,203 - But man, orange balls. 1124 00:39:25,203 --> 00:39:27,865 Hey Wayne, this is a swanky joint. 1125 00:39:27,865 --> 00:39:29,763 Go tell him you're Jewish. 1126 00:39:29,763 --> 00:39:30,660 (laughter) 1127 00:39:30,660 --> 00:39:33,423 - No more Caddyshack references. 1128 00:39:36,560 --> 00:39:37,890 No more Caddyshack references. 1129 00:39:37,890 --> 00:39:39,040 I'm fucking serious. 1130 00:39:39,040 --> 00:39:40,950 - Oh baby. 1131 00:39:40,950 --> 00:39:43,018 This is a big one. 1132 00:39:43,018 --> 00:39:43,851 - Alright, don't count that one. 1133 00:39:43,851 --> 00:39:45,030 That was interfered with. 1134 00:39:45,030 --> 00:39:47,460 - The whole world needs ditch diggers too. 1135 00:39:47,460 --> 00:39:49,330 - What'd I say about Caddyshack references? 1136 00:39:49,330 --> 00:39:50,825 - [Both] What's the matter? 1137 00:39:50,825 --> 00:39:51,658 I just want to bring you a present. 1138 00:39:51,658 --> 00:39:52,660 - No 1139 00:39:52,660 --> 00:39:54,170 more 1140 00:39:54,170 --> 00:39:55,200 Caddyshack references. 1141 00:39:55,200 --> 00:39:56,410 - Hey, that's from Caddyshack two. 1142 00:39:56,410 --> 00:39:58,810 - Yeah, it's from Caddyshack two, bra. 1143 00:39:58,810 --> 00:39:59,930 - Shit man. 1144 00:39:59,930 --> 00:40:01,566 The last time I saw you, 1145 00:40:01,566 --> 00:40:04,583 the night in Cedar Falls with Heather. 1146 00:40:04,583 --> 00:40:07,240 - Yet that girl talks about how small my dick is. 1147 00:40:07,240 --> 00:40:08,410 Like you're six foot four, 1148 00:40:08,410 --> 00:40:09,570 everything looks that small 1149 00:40:09,570 --> 00:40:11,065 compared to that. 1150 00:40:11,065 --> 00:40:11,898 Come on. 1151 00:40:11,898 --> 00:40:12,731 - You ever notice when she gets mad, 1152 00:40:12,731 --> 00:40:14,530 she kind of looks like William Defoe? 1153 00:40:14,530 --> 00:40:15,390 - Oh dude, it's like 1154 00:40:15,390 --> 00:40:16,870 kind of like seeing my stepdad. 1155 00:40:16,870 --> 00:40:17,703 It's crazy. 1156 00:40:17,703 --> 00:40:18,560 Like 1157 00:40:18,560 --> 00:40:20,870 the guy that got shot by fucking Jake Taylor 1158 00:40:20,870 --> 00:40:22,490 from Major League in Platoon, 1159 00:40:22,490 --> 00:40:23,323 you know what I'm talking about. 1160 00:40:23,323 --> 00:40:24,340 - Yeah dude. 1161 00:40:24,340 --> 00:40:25,193 Oh my god. 1162 00:40:26,046 --> 00:40:27,043 Was she on the rescue in the Boondock Saints? 1163 00:40:27,043 --> 00:40:28,120 (laughter) 1164 00:40:28,120 --> 00:40:28,953 - Yeah. 1165 00:40:28,953 --> 00:40:30,462 Born on the fourth of July. 1166 00:40:30,462 --> 00:40:32,446 (laughter) 1167 00:40:32,446 --> 00:40:33,279 - You two are peas in a pod. 1168 00:40:33,279 --> 00:40:34,510 What are you, a fucking 1169 00:40:34,510 --> 00:40:36,025 shake swords together sometimes. 1170 00:40:36,025 --> 00:40:37,726 - That's not a bad idea? 1171 00:40:37,726 --> 00:40:39,385 - Yeah man. 1172 00:40:39,385 --> 00:40:43,220 Hey, you got to have somebody from a movie 1173 00:40:43,220 --> 00:40:44,070 talk shit about your dick, 1174 00:40:44,070 --> 00:40:45,822 who would it be? 1175 00:40:45,822 --> 00:40:47,042 - Oh man, probably Hannibal Lector, man. 1176 00:40:47,042 --> 00:40:47,940 He'd be like 1177 00:40:48,780 --> 00:40:49,810 go into great detail about it, 1178 00:40:49,810 --> 00:40:51,680 and then like snack that shit up with some fava beans. 1179 00:40:51,680 --> 00:40:55,683 What about you? 1180 00:40:55,683 --> 00:40:57,420 - Weirdly, 1181 00:40:57,420 --> 00:40:58,470 Cruella de Vil. 1182 00:40:58,470 --> 00:40:59,680 - 101 Dalmatians. 1183 00:40:59,680 --> 00:41:00,745 - Yeah. 1184 00:41:00,745 --> 00:41:01,578 Yeah, she'd talk shit about it, 1185 00:41:01,578 --> 00:41:03,160 she'd still see the beauty in it. 1186 00:41:03,160 --> 00:41:04,740 She'd just have to find a 100 more 1187 00:41:04,740 --> 00:41:06,660 and fashion it in to a fashionable jacket. 1188 00:41:06,660 --> 00:41:08,003 - A nice little dick coat. 1189 00:41:08,003 --> 00:41:09,313 - Yeah, who wouldn't wear a dick skinned jacket? 1190 00:41:09,313 --> 00:41:10,445 - I would look good in a dick coat. 1191 00:41:10,445 --> 00:41:12,479 - That jacket is tighter than dick skin. 1192 00:41:12,479 --> 00:41:13,993 - Absolutely. 1193 00:41:16,700 --> 00:41:18,220 - So, 1194 00:41:18,220 --> 00:41:19,283 fuck it. 1195 00:41:19,283 --> 00:41:20,116 You want to go to Lava Lounge? 1196 00:41:20,116 --> 00:41:20,949 I'll buy you a scotch. 1197 00:41:20,949 --> 00:41:21,850 $12, 1198 00:41:21,850 --> 00:41:22,683 the good kind. 1199 00:41:23,721 --> 00:41:24,723 (laughter) 1200 00:41:24,723 --> 00:41:25,556 - Trailer Park Boys, nice. 1201 00:41:25,556 --> 00:41:26,958 - Nice. 1202 00:41:26,958 --> 00:41:28,825 - Well, it looks like I'm Julien on this one, 1203 00:41:28,825 --> 00:41:30,323 cause I'm taking my drink with me. 1204 00:41:30,323 --> 00:41:31,540 - It's about to fucking time. 1205 00:41:31,540 --> 00:41:32,730 - Have a good one. 1206 00:41:32,730 --> 00:41:33,945 Adios amigo. 1207 00:41:33,945 --> 00:41:35,240 - Yeah, fuck yourself. 1208 00:41:35,240 --> 00:41:38,290 - No, C3-PO has a silver leg. 1209 00:41:38,290 --> 00:41:39,801 - Mandela Effect. 1210 00:41:39,801 --> 00:41:41,560 - No, what. 1211 00:41:41,560 --> 00:41:42,665 No, no, no, no, no. 1212 00:41:42,665 --> 00:41:43,662 C3-PO is gold 1213 00:41:43,662 --> 00:41:44,710 and Han did the Castle Run 1214 00:41:44,710 --> 00:41:46,720 in 12 parsecs. 1215 00:41:46,720 --> 00:41:47,553 Duh. 1216 00:41:47,553 --> 00:41:48,920 - Pretty sure it was 14. 1217 00:41:48,920 --> 00:41:50,340 - He told Chewy 1218 00:41:50,340 --> 00:41:51,367 that he rounded down in Solo. 1219 00:41:51,367 --> 00:41:52,463 - Either way, 1220 00:41:53,481 --> 00:41:54,483 it's still impressive. 1221 00:41:54,483 --> 00:41:56,100 - So, 1222 00:41:56,100 --> 00:41:58,520 is Rey Han and Leia's kid? 1223 00:41:58,520 --> 00:41:59,353 - How the hell 1224 00:41:59,353 --> 00:42:01,683 would Luke and Leia not sense that? 1225 00:42:01,683 --> 00:42:04,541 I mean these jedis are unreal. 1226 00:42:04,541 --> 00:42:09,479 Leia can Mary Poppins through the vacuum of space, 1227 00:42:09,479 --> 00:42:12,159 but she can't keep track of her damn kids. 1228 00:42:12,159 --> 00:42:14,810 - There's no way that Rey is their kid anyway. 1229 00:42:14,810 --> 00:42:15,760 Han and Leia, 1230 00:42:15,760 --> 00:42:17,070 no, there's no way. 1231 00:42:17,070 --> 00:42:18,382 No. 1232 00:42:18,382 --> 00:42:19,283 - Jedi's are shitty parents. 1233 00:42:22,677 --> 00:42:23,510 - Do you think 1234 00:42:23,510 --> 00:42:24,343 that 1235 00:42:24,343 --> 00:42:26,416 at like another bar in this town, 1236 00:42:26,416 --> 00:42:28,990 there are girls talking about Star Trek 1237 00:42:28,990 --> 00:42:30,550 like we're talking about Star Wars. 1238 00:42:30,550 --> 00:42:31,740 - No way. 1239 00:42:31,740 --> 00:42:33,540 - Yeah, Star Trek is dumb. 1240 00:42:33,540 --> 00:42:35,219 - You're right. 1241 00:42:35,219 --> 00:42:37,636 (rock music) 1242 00:42:38,510 --> 00:42:40,380 - You can have your Captain Pikard. 1243 00:42:40,380 --> 00:42:42,060 You can have your Captain Kirk, 1244 00:42:42,060 --> 00:42:43,518 but I'm after that Spock. 1245 00:42:43,518 --> 00:42:46,579 There's a reason for live long and prosper. 1246 00:42:46,579 --> 00:42:49,299 I'd put a smile on that Vulcan's face. 1247 00:42:49,299 --> 00:42:50,560 - I understand that. 1248 00:42:50,560 --> 00:42:51,620 But I want Mr. Chekov 1249 00:42:51,620 --> 00:42:52,880 as I want to make him my first. 1250 00:42:52,880 --> 00:42:54,130 You know them virgins. 1251 00:42:54,130 --> 00:42:55,440 I want to take him boldly 1252 00:42:55,440 --> 00:42:56,900 where no man has gone before. 1253 00:42:56,900 --> 00:42:58,222 - Girl. 1254 00:42:58,222 --> 00:42:59,219 - You know in can do a little. 1255 00:42:59,219 --> 00:43:01,000 - Only you girl. 1256 00:43:01,000 --> 00:43:02,318 - I'm telling you, 1257 00:43:02,318 --> 00:43:03,358 that's the way it's supposed to be. 1258 00:43:03,358 --> 00:43:04,819 - Cheers. 1259 00:43:04,819 --> 00:43:07,236 (rock music) 1260 00:43:10,155 --> 00:43:10,988 - You know, I gotta say, 1261 00:43:10,988 --> 00:43:12,620 Rent by far is the greatest musical 1262 00:43:12,620 --> 00:43:13,630 ever created. 1263 00:43:13,630 --> 00:43:14,680 It has heart. 1264 00:43:14,680 --> 00:43:15,800 It's visceral. 1265 00:43:15,800 --> 00:43:18,470 And it just moves you in every way possible. 1266 00:43:18,470 --> 00:43:20,870 And also, it really hits home 1267 00:43:20,870 --> 00:43:21,860 with all my gay friends 1268 00:43:21,860 --> 00:43:23,310 and what they have to endure. 1269 00:43:24,920 --> 00:43:27,676 - Les Miserable is the greatest musical of all time. 1270 00:43:27,676 --> 00:43:29,513 It digs into the human spirit, 1271 00:43:29,513 --> 00:43:31,250 the struggle. 1272 00:43:31,250 --> 00:43:33,139 They yearn to be part of a higher power, 1273 00:43:33,139 --> 00:43:35,262 and the grace of humanity. 1274 00:43:35,262 --> 00:43:38,000 - Cats is the best. 1275 00:43:38,000 --> 00:43:39,330 I just love it. 1276 00:43:39,330 --> 00:43:40,958 Cute little cats running around. 1277 00:43:40,958 --> 00:43:44,100 And they don't make me sneeze like real cats. 1278 00:43:44,100 --> 00:43:45,570 - The Music Man, 1279 00:43:45,570 --> 00:43:46,730 a light hearted musical 1280 00:43:46,730 --> 00:43:47,700 set in Iowa. 1281 00:43:47,700 --> 00:43:49,420 It saw the best production of it 1282 00:43:50,259 --> 00:43:51,379 at the Cedar Falls Community Theater 1283 00:43:51,379 --> 00:43:52,300 at the (inaudible). 1284 00:43:52,300 --> 00:43:54,120 The Waterloo Community Playhouse 1285 00:43:54,120 --> 00:43:56,659 also had a superb production of it. 1286 00:43:56,659 --> 00:43:58,090 - You guys are all wrong. 1287 00:43:58,090 --> 00:44:00,878 I'm not trying to be a dickhead but, 1288 00:44:00,878 --> 00:44:03,278 awful selections. 1289 00:44:03,278 --> 00:44:05,961 Greese 2 is 1290 00:44:05,961 --> 00:44:08,662 profoundly better than everything you guys have mentioned. 1291 00:44:08,662 --> 00:44:11,079 (soft music) 1292 00:44:13,940 --> 00:44:15,090 You can roll your eyes, 1293 00:44:15,090 --> 00:44:16,743 but it really is. 1294 00:44:16,743 --> 00:44:18,240 You're just gonna have to revisit it. 1295 00:44:18,240 --> 00:44:19,624 The Music Man? 1296 00:44:19,624 --> 00:44:21,290 I don't mean any disrespect, 1297 00:44:21,290 --> 00:44:22,690 I just, 1298 00:44:22,690 --> 00:44:23,523 that's like, 1299 00:44:23,523 --> 00:44:25,181 it's child's play for grandparents. 1300 00:44:25,181 --> 00:44:26,870 It makes Iowans 1301 00:44:26,870 --> 00:44:27,885 seem like 1302 00:44:27,885 --> 00:44:30,940 frumpy fools that can't spot a fraud 1303 00:44:30,940 --> 00:44:32,163 a half a cornfield away. 1304 00:44:33,141 --> 00:44:34,802 It's not any good. 1305 00:44:34,802 --> 00:44:36,482 Cats. 1306 00:44:36,482 --> 00:44:38,743 Cats. 1307 00:44:40,270 --> 00:44:42,525 I don't have enough scotch for Cats. 1308 00:44:42,525 --> 00:44:44,620 Rent man. 1309 00:44:44,620 --> 00:44:45,890 Rent's insufferable. 1310 00:44:45,890 --> 00:44:46,910 It just, like I get it. 1311 00:44:46,910 --> 00:44:48,570 Like I understand the struggle. 1312 00:44:48,570 --> 00:44:50,330 Totally sympathize with the gay community 1313 00:44:50,330 --> 00:44:51,740 in New York City during Aids 1314 00:44:51,740 --> 00:44:52,573 and persecution, 1315 00:44:52,573 --> 00:44:54,983 living in weirdly shitty apartments. 1316 00:44:54,983 --> 00:44:57,270 But really all it did was enable 1317 00:44:57,270 --> 00:44:58,340 white sorority sisters 1318 00:44:58,340 --> 00:45:01,010 to slaughter more Karaoke songs. 1319 00:45:01,010 --> 00:45:01,923 I can't, I can't. 1320 00:45:03,400 --> 00:45:04,283 Cats? 1321 00:45:06,100 --> 00:45:07,885 Les Mis. 1322 00:45:07,885 --> 00:45:10,024 I mean I don't hate it. 1323 00:45:10,024 --> 00:45:12,230 I like Anne Hathaway in the movie. 1324 00:45:12,230 --> 00:45:13,160 It's pretty great. 1325 00:45:13,160 --> 00:45:14,890 But Jean Valjean 1326 00:45:15,920 --> 00:45:17,350 is not 1327 00:45:17,350 --> 00:45:18,930 and will never be 1328 00:45:18,930 --> 00:45:19,763 Cool Rider. 1329 00:45:21,920 --> 00:45:23,400 In Greese 2, Michael 1330 00:45:23,400 --> 00:45:25,885 comes to America with a dream. 1331 00:45:25,885 --> 00:45:28,104 He makes his money 1332 00:45:28,104 --> 00:45:30,440 writing essays for the 1333 00:45:30,440 --> 00:45:32,233 less fortunate folks at his school. 1334 00:45:33,360 --> 00:45:34,390 And he saves his money 1335 00:45:34,390 --> 00:45:36,060 and he builds a motorcycle 1336 00:45:36,060 --> 00:45:37,510 from scratch. 1337 00:45:37,510 --> 00:45:38,803 A cool rider was needed. 1338 00:45:40,320 --> 00:45:41,270 He built it from scratch. 1339 00:45:41,270 --> 00:45:42,470 He repurposed these parts 1340 00:45:42,470 --> 00:45:44,670 and he built them into something stronger, 1341 00:45:44,670 --> 00:45:45,503 faster, 1342 00:45:45,503 --> 00:45:47,643 and just beautiful. 1343 00:45:49,042 --> 00:45:52,070 I don't know what else you would want. 1344 00:45:52,070 --> 00:45:53,710 It's the American dream 1345 00:45:53,710 --> 00:45:55,350 in musical form. 1346 00:45:55,350 --> 00:45:57,950 Michelle Phieffer needed hell on wheels 1347 00:45:57,950 --> 00:45:59,480 and by god, 1348 00:45:59,480 --> 00:46:00,833 Michael bird hot. 1349 00:46:01,842 --> 00:46:03,920 It also has the best bowling scene 1350 00:46:03,920 --> 00:46:05,060 in cinematic history. 1351 00:46:05,060 --> 00:46:06,840 It's way better than that trite 1352 00:46:06,840 --> 00:46:09,100 gooey Beatles karaoke movie 1353 00:46:09,100 --> 00:46:10,870 across the universe. 1354 00:46:10,870 --> 00:46:11,900 - Seriously, Harris. 1355 00:46:11,900 --> 00:46:13,350 That's the best you can come up with? 1356 00:46:13,350 --> 00:46:15,042 - [Harold] Please I, 1357 00:46:15,042 --> 00:46:15,875 please, I prefer Harold. 1358 00:46:15,875 --> 00:46:17,565 - I prefer Harris. 1359 00:46:17,565 --> 00:46:18,863 - Okay. 1360 00:46:18,863 --> 00:46:20,510 - A couple reasons why Greese 2 is shit. 1361 00:46:20,510 --> 00:46:21,650 First of all, 1362 00:46:21,650 --> 00:46:23,430 Michelle Phieffer sounds like 1363 00:46:23,430 --> 00:46:25,450 she's got a dead cat stuck in her throat. 1364 00:46:25,450 --> 00:46:27,540 Her singing is atrocious. 1365 00:46:27,540 --> 00:46:28,770 - And yet she persevered. 1366 00:46:28,770 --> 00:46:29,930 - That was easily the worst movie 1367 00:46:29,930 --> 00:46:30,883 she's ever been in. 1368 00:46:31,870 --> 00:46:34,320 Secondly, there's a production going on right now 1369 00:46:34,320 --> 00:46:35,340 called 13. 1370 00:46:35,340 --> 00:46:36,460 These kids are in junior high 1371 00:46:36,460 --> 00:46:37,720 and they're putting on something better 1372 00:46:37,720 --> 00:46:39,200 than these 30 year olds could. 1373 00:46:39,200 --> 00:46:41,401 Last, 1374 00:46:41,401 --> 00:46:43,090 these four musicals 1375 00:46:43,090 --> 00:46:44,264 were on a stage, 1376 00:46:44,264 --> 00:46:45,805 been on Broadway. 1377 00:46:45,805 --> 00:46:48,704 Greese 2 has only been in theaters 1378 00:46:48,704 --> 00:46:50,944 and has never won an award. 1379 00:46:50,944 --> 00:46:52,430 - Well, 1380 00:46:52,430 --> 00:46:53,920 better is the local theater. 1381 00:46:53,920 --> 00:46:55,410 They chose to do Greese 1382 00:46:55,410 --> 00:46:56,660 instead of the wrong one. 1383 00:46:58,402 --> 00:46:59,235 If they would have got their heads 1384 00:46:59,235 --> 00:47:00,287 out of their asses, 1385 00:47:00,287 --> 00:47:01,120 they would have picked the right one, 1386 00:47:01,120 --> 00:47:01,980 they would have found a cool rider 1387 00:47:01,980 --> 00:47:03,980 and Harold would have obliged. 1388 00:47:03,980 --> 00:47:06,650 (rock music) 1389 00:47:06,650 --> 00:47:08,220 - So what are you drinking there? 1390 00:47:08,220 --> 00:47:10,730 - Young lady, I am not drinking 1391 00:47:10,730 --> 00:47:11,820 anything. 1392 00:47:11,820 --> 00:47:13,260 I am experiencing this 1393 00:47:13,260 --> 00:47:15,510 single malt scotch. 1394 00:47:15,510 --> 00:47:16,680 - You know, 1395 00:47:16,680 --> 00:47:18,240 every time you drink scotch, 1396 00:47:18,240 --> 00:47:20,820 it makes me really frisky. 1397 00:47:21,930 --> 00:47:24,160 - Well I do suppose that the 1398 00:47:24,160 --> 00:47:26,038 experience is different for everyone. 1399 00:47:26,038 --> 00:47:28,620 - Well what are you doing later? 1400 00:47:28,620 --> 00:47:29,940 - Young lady, 1401 00:47:29,940 --> 00:47:31,140 must I inform you 1402 00:47:31,140 --> 00:47:33,163 that I'm wearing my purity ring. 1403 00:47:34,540 --> 00:47:36,720 - Why are you wearing a purity ring? 1404 00:47:36,720 --> 00:47:38,340 - Because 1405 00:47:38,340 --> 00:47:41,297 purity rings are so cool. 1406 00:47:41,297 --> 00:47:42,380 (inaudible) 1407 00:47:42,380 --> 00:47:44,817 - Cousin Harold. 1408 00:47:44,817 --> 00:47:47,276 Are you doubting the 1409 00:47:47,276 --> 00:47:49,770 coolness of my purity ring? 1410 00:47:49,770 --> 00:47:51,690 - Well if your ear wolf hat 1411 00:47:51,690 --> 00:47:52,970 is an indication, 1412 00:47:52,970 --> 00:47:53,803 yes, I am. 1413 00:47:54,657 --> 00:47:55,490 I've decided that purity rings 1414 00:47:55,490 --> 00:47:56,630 are no longer (inaudible). 1415 00:47:56,630 --> 00:47:59,233 - Well then they are no longer hip for the Oliver. 1416 00:48:00,620 --> 00:48:02,850 Young lady may entice away. 1417 00:48:02,850 --> 00:48:06,290 - Do you want to experience my place or yours later? 1418 00:48:06,290 --> 00:48:09,400 - Oh, Oliver does not want to wait that long. 1419 00:48:09,400 --> 00:48:10,630 How about 1420 00:48:10,630 --> 00:48:12,460 out back behind the dumpster? 1421 00:48:12,460 --> 00:48:14,017 - Dumpster fucking? 1422 00:48:14,017 --> 00:48:15,330 Yeah. 1423 00:48:15,330 --> 00:48:16,350 - Oliver, 1424 00:48:16,350 --> 00:48:17,790 please. 1425 00:48:17,790 --> 00:48:18,720 - Oh cousin Harold, 1426 00:48:18,720 --> 00:48:20,820 I suppose you're right. 1427 00:48:20,820 --> 00:48:23,750 How about we go back to my place 1428 00:48:24,660 --> 00:48:27,540 and we experience a bottle of single malt scotch 1429 00:48:27,540 --> 00:48:29,137 and I will show you my huge 1430 00:48:29,137 --> 00:48:31,260 vinyl collection. 1431 00:48:31,260 --> 00:48:33,397 - Okay. 1432 00:48:33,397 --> 00:48:34,758 - My work here is done. 1433 00:48:34,758 --> 00:48:35,591 - Thank you, cousin Harold. 1434 00:48:35,591 --> 00:48:36,424 Thank you. 1435 00:48:44,556 --> 00:48:47,217 - Did she say dumpster fucking? 1436 00:48:47,217 --> 00:48:49,736 - I believe they said dumpster fucking. 1437 00:48:49,736 --> 00:48:50,569 Have you ever dumpster fucked? 1438 00:48:50,569 --> 00:48:52,640 - I've never had a dumpster fuck, 1439 00:48:52,640 --> 00:48:55,078 but I've had a handjob behind the Tasty Freeze one time. 1440 00:48:55,078 --> 00:48:57,647 - That sounds like you. 1441 00:48:59,962 --> 00:49:02,379 (rock music) 1442 00:49:09,162 --> 00:49:10,695 - You how I feel about those tractor shots. 1443 00:49:10,695 --> 00:49:11,528 It's just kind of like, 1444 00:49:11,528 --> 00:49:13,110 actually that guy up there 1445 00:49:13,110 --> 00:49:14,110 on the TV. 1446 00:49:14,110 --> 00:49:15,800 He seems like a guy who probably put himself 1447 00:49:15,800 --> 00:49:17,279 in his own movies. 1448 00:49:17,279 --> 00:49:19,676 - Yeah, multiple movies on the same subject. 1449 00:49:19,676 --> 00:49:22,670 - Always in the same bars, 1450 00:49:22,670 --> 00:49:24,053 in the same locations, 1451 00:49:24,053 --> 00:49:26,937 and it's always the same gay dick jokes. 1452 00:49:26,937 --> 00:49:28,600 - Constantly. 1453 00:49:28,600 --> 00:49:30,150 Because the only thing this guy finds funny 1454 00:49:30,150 --> 00:49:33,178 is dick jokes after a life of touring and bar hopping. 1455 00:49:33,178 --> 00:49:35,120 - Drinking nothing but scotch. 1456 00:49:35,120 --> 00:49:37,010 Pretty sure it just runs through his veins 1457 00:49:37,010 --> 00:49:37,920 and he just like 1458 00:49:37,920 --> 00:49:39,956 pisses straight scotch. 1459 00:49:39,956 --> 00:49:41,590 - Burns all the time. 1460 00:49:41,590 --> 00:49:43,716 You can never tell when he's got the clap. 1461 00:49:43,716 --> 00:49:46,300 - I mean I'm sure he's got some good drugs for that. 1462 00:49:46,300 --> 00:49:48,356 But three movies. 1463 00:49:48,356 --> 00:49:50,200 Fuck. 1464 00:49:50,200 --> 00:49:52,479 Kevin Smith won't even make a third Clerks. 1465 00:49:52,479 --> 00:49:53,673 - Definitely not. 1466 00:49:55,476 --> 00:49:57,220 - Strip clubs, 1467 00:49:57,220 --> 00:49:58,735 pornography shops, 1468 00:49:58,735 --> 00:49:59,710 come on Boss. 1469 00:49:59,710 --> 00:50:02,660 There's got to be something else out there. 1470 00:50:02,660 --> 00:50:04,674 - [Boss] What would you suggest I do? 1471 00:50:04,674 --> 00:50:07,620 - Christian bookstores. 1472 00:50:07,620 --> 00:50:08,690 - [Matt] Boss. 1473 00:50:08,690 --> 00:50:10,340 This is the Boss. 1474 00:50:10,340 --> 00:50:11,440 He owns a strip club 1475 00:50:11,440 --> 00:50:13,660 and an adult bookstore in town. 1476 00:50:13,660 --> 00:50:15,330 This guy's former boss. 1477 00:50:15,330 --> 00:50:17,337 The Adult Shop Mop. 1478 00:50:17,337 --> 00:50:19,220 - Okay, the idea of 1479 00:50:19,220 --> 00:50:22,397 being in business is to stay in business. 1480 00:50:22,397 --> 00:50:24,020 You realize that, right. 1481 00:50:24,020 --> 00:50:26,202 Hey, you're a good kid. 1482 00:50:26,202 --> 00:50:27,940 Everybody likes you, Elias. 1483 00:50:27,940 --> 00:50:29,740 You know they call you AA Elias now 1484 00:50:29,740 --> 00:50:31,200 cause of that weekend. 1485 00:50:31,200 --> 00:50:32,479 But that's okay. 1486 00:50:32,479 --> 00:50:33,450 AA's probably good. 1487 00:50:33,450 --> 00:50:35,220 Alcoholics anonymous works for some people 1488 00:50:35,220 --> 00:50:36,750 and seems to 1489 00:50:36,750 --> 00:50:37,730 work pretty well for you. 1490 00:50:37,730 --> 00:50:38,780 And that's good. 1491 00:50:38,780 --> 00:50:40,440 Let me pose something to you. 1492 00:50:40,440 --> 00:50:42,719 Imagine there's a good Christian man. 1493 00:50:42,719 --> 00:50:44,500 He goes to church 1494 00:50:44,500 --> 00:50:46,260 every Wednesday and Sunday. 1495 00:50:46,260 --> 00:50:48,020 Goes to bible study, 1496 00:50:48,020 --> 00:50:48,900 a great man, 1497 00:50:48,900 --> 00:50:50,370 very faithful. 1498 00:50:50,370 --> 00:50:52,070 He's driving down the road one day 1499 00:50:53,359 --> 00:50:54,600 on his way to a bible study, 1500 00:50:54,600 --> 00:50:55,562 soup kitchen, 1501 00:50:55,562 --> 00:50:57,670 what have you. 1502 00:50:57,670 --> 00:50:59,338 He gets a tightness in his chest. 1503 00:50:59,338 --> 00:51:02,090 It's pains in his arms. 1504 00:51:02,090 --> 00:51:03,978 Realizes he's having a heart attack, 1505 00:51:03,978 --> 00:51:06,362 pulls off to the very first place 1506 00:51:06,362 --> 00:51:07,800 he could find 1507 00:51:07,800 --> 00:51:08,763 to seek out help. 1508 00:51:09,690 --> 00:51:12,000 He dies on the floor of that business. 1509 00:51:12,000 --> 00:51:13,210 Say it's 1510 00:51:13,210 --> 00:51:14,730 my adult bookstore 1511 00:51:14,730 --> 00:51:16,480 or one of my strip clubs. 1512 00:51:16,480 --> 00:51:18,190 The news will read 1513 00:51:18,190 --> 00:51:20,700 77 year old man dies of a heart attack 1514 00:51:20,700 --> 00:51:22,130 at 10:00 AM in the morning 1515 00:51:22,130 --> 00:51:24,380 at an adult bookstore or strip club. 1516 00:51:24,380 --> 00:51:26,618 You're automatically gonna think this man is bad. 1517 00:51:26,618 --> 00:51:28,690 Let's go the other side. 1518 00:51:28,690 --> 00:51:30,430 Imagine there is an awful guy. 1519 00:51:30,430 --> 00:51:32,443 A guys that goes to my strip clubs all the time. 1520 00:51:32,443 --> 00:51:34,720 He's at my adult bookstores, 1521 00:51:34,720 --> 00:51:36,280 complete porn hound. 1522 00:51:36,280 --> 00:51:37,830 A complete reprobate. 1523 00:51:37,830 --> 00:51:38,850 A drunk. 1524 00:51:38,850 --> 00:51:39,803 A whore monger. 1525 00:51:41,050 --> 00:51:42,638 He's driving down the road one day. 1526 00:51:42,638 --> 00:51:44,518 It's a tightness in his chest. 1527 00:51:44,518 --> 00:51:46,500 Pains in his arms. 1528 00:51:46,500 --> 00:51:48,300 Knows he's gonna have a heart attack. 1529 00:51:48,300 --> 00:51:50,190 Pulls off to the very first place he can find 1530 00:51:50,190 --> 00:51:51,580 to seek out help, 1531 00:51:51,580 --> 00:51:53,070 and it's a church. 1532 00:51:53,070 --> 00:51:54,440 The news will read 1533 00:51:54,440 --> 00:51:55,730 77 year old man 1534 00:51:55,730 --> 00:51:57,717 dies of a heart attack at 10:00 AM 1535 00:51:57,717 --> 00:51:59,290 on a Wednesday morning 1536 00:51:59,290 --> 00:52:00,530 at a church. 1537 00:52:00,530 --> 00:52:03,417 You're automatically gonna think he's good. 1538 00:52:03,417 --> 00:52:05,193 - Well, 1539 00:52:06,100 --> 00:52:07,923 at least I tried. 1540 00:52:09,190 --> 00:52:11,020 - Always remember this, 1541 00:52:11,020 --> 00:52:12,870 amazing grace was written by an atheist 1542 00:52:12,870 --> 00:52:14,290 who was saved. 1543 00:52:14,290 --> 00:52:16,150 So never stop trying. 1544 00:52:16,150 --> 00:52:16,983 You're good man. 1545 00:52:16,983 --> 00:52:18,596 - Thanks Boss. 1546 00:52:18,596 --> 00:52:19,599 See you later. 1547 00:52:19,599 --> 00:52:20,432 - Bye. 1548 00:52:28,810 --> 00:52:30,200 - Praise be. 1549 00:52:30,200 --> 00:52:31,530 Last time I saw an ass like that, 1550 00:52:31,530 --> 00:52:33,700 it was carrying our lord and savior. 1551 00:52:33,700 --> 00:52:34,860 - [Woman] Are you seriously 1552 00:52:34,860 --> 00:52:36,480 objectifying her right now? 1553 00:52:36,480 --> 00:52:38,730 - No, I'm not objectifying her. 1554 00:52:38,730 --> 00:52:40,370 I'm just looking at her ass. 1555 00:52:40,370 --> 00:52:41,390 What's up with you broads 1556 00:52:41,390 --> 00:52:42,490 making up words and shit. 1557 00:52:42,490 --> 00:52:43,360 I'm trying to 1558 00:52:43,360 --> 00:52:44,240 get my dick wet. 1559 00:52:44,240 --> 00:52:45,940 Talk to you later. 1560 00:52:45,940 --> 00:52:46,773 Anyway, 1561 00:52:47,759 --> 00:52:49,800 I feel like you can be Columbine 1562 00:52:49,800 --> 00:52:51,633 and I decide to shoot a bunch of kids inside of you. 1563 00:52:51,633 --> 00:52:54,110 Hmm? 1564 00:52:54,110 --> 00:52:55,390 You know mid 90s, 1565 00:52:55,390 --> 00:52:56,410 you're a pog. 1566 00:52:56,410 --> 00:52:58,596 I just start slamming that shit. 1567 00:52:58,596 --> 00:53:00,380 Maybe you pull a Fonz 1568 00:53:00,380 --> 00:53:02,538 and just bang against the jukebox til 1569 00:53:02,538 --> 00:53:04,200 Incubus plays, 1570 00:53:04,200 --> 00:53:05,870 whatever that shit is you're into. 1571 00:53:05,870 --> 00:53:06,850 Kati Perry? 1572 00:53:06,850 --> 00:53:07,683 Taylor Swift? 1573 00:53:07,683 --> 00:53:08,516 I don't know 1574 00:53:08,516 --> 00:53:09,430 how old we are yet. 1575 00:53:09,430 --> 00:53:10,891 Can you get a drink? 1576 00:53:10,891 --> 00:53:11,780 Do you need a drink? 1577 00:53:11,780 --> 00:53:13,050 - Hey Boss. 1578 00:53:13,050 --> 00:53:14,610 - Matthew. 1579 00:53:14,610 --> 00:53:15,443 - How's it going? 1580 00:53:15,443 --> 00:53:16,870 - Kevin, get 1581 00:53:16,870 --> 00:53:18,626 this bro a drink on me. 1582 00:53:18,626 --> 00:53:21,209 So scotch? 1583 00:53:21,209 --> 00:53:22,580 - Definitely. 1584 00:53:22,580 --> 00:53:23,753 Definitely scotch. 1585 00:53:24,612 --> 00:53:26,612 - I got this Highland Park viking scotch. 1586 00:53:26,612 --> 00:53:28,880 Kevin suggested it. 1587 00:53:28,880 --> 00:53:29,713 - Viking's honor. 1588 00:53:29,713 --> 00:53:30,546 - Viking's honor. 1589 00:53:32,290 --> 00:53:34,350 Good for us Norwegians. 1590 00:53:34,350 --> 00:53:36,230 - Yeah, but you know what's not good for us. 1591 00:53:36,230 --> 00:53:38,330 What the fuck is this AA pamphlet doing here? 1592 00:53:38,330 --> 00:53:40,600 AA Elias in here? 1593 00:53:40,600 --> 00:53:42,132 - Yeah, he was just in here. 1594 00:53:42,132 --> 00:53:44,726 - I thought I saw that snail trail leading in. 1595 00:53:44,726 --> 00:53:46,880 - Oh you heard about that weekend, huh? 1596 00:53:46,880 --> 00:53:48,280 - Yeah. 1597 00:53:48,280 --> 00:53:49,546 The bender to remember. 1598 00:53:49,546 --> 00:53:50,967 - Alcoholics anonymous 1599 00:53:50,967 --> 00:53:53,030 suits people like him. 1600 00:53:53,030 --> 00:53:55,030 That was a hell of a weekend for him. 1601 00:53:55,030 --> 00:53:55,863 I mean Jesus, 1602 00:53:55,863 --> 00:53:57,268 parents got to him late Sunday night. 1603 00:53:57,268 --> 00:53:58,850 His liver's inflamed. 1604 00:53:58,850 --> 00:54:01,370 He's got the worst case of chlamydia or gonorrhea. 1605 00:54:01,370 --> 00:54:04,386 That kid could not handle a weekend of liqueur. 1606 00:54:04,386 --> 00:54:06,060 That was really, 1607 00:54:06,060 --> 00:54:07,985 I heard it was an epic weekend. 1608 00:54:07,985 --> 00:54:09,310 I heard it was a lot of fun. 1609 00:54:09,310 --> 00:54:11,240 - I saw him at the beginning of that weekend. 1610 00:54:11,240 --> 00:54:15,030 He showed up with a bottle of scotch 1611 00:54:15,030 --> 00:54:15,908 ready to roll. 1612 00:54:15,908 --> 00:54:17,412 - Oh yeah, he was a ball. 1613 00:54:17,412 --> 00:54:20,710 But yeah, I think alcoholics anonymous 1614 00:54:20,710 --> 00:54:23,172 is the correct position for him. 1615 00:54:23,172 --> 00:54:24,169 I think that's the 1616 00:54:24,169 --> 00:54:25,920 great place for him. 1617 00:54:25,920 --> 00:54:27,040 - Hey, 1618 00:54:27,040 --> 00:54:28,630 coasters? 1619 00:54:28,630 --> 00:54:30,100 - I didn't see any. 1620 00:54:30,100 --> 00:54:31,588 Kevin, you got coasters? 1621 00:54:31,588 --> 00:54:33,027 - [Kevin] We're all out. 1622 00:54:39,730 --> 00:54:40,563 - AA works. 1623 00:54:40,563 --> 00:54:41,396 (laughter) 1624 00:54:41,396 --> 00:54:42,229 - AA works. 1625 00:54:42,229 --> 00:54:43,062 - Alright. 1626 00:54:43,980 --> 00:54:45,530 - Do you need someone to co-sign a loan for you? 1627 00:54:45,530 --> 00:54:47,353 I don't know where you're at in your life. 1628 00:54:49,260 --> 00:54:50,760 Would you like to see how much of my penis 1629 00:54:50,760 --> 00:54:51,710 could fit in your mouth? 1630 00:54:51,710 --> 00:54:53,520 I think you could almost get the whole thing. 1631 00:54:53,520 --> 00:54:54,750 You seem like you have 1632 00:54:54,750 --> 00:54:55,583 like a really 1633 00:54:55,583 --> 00:54:57,820 just can do attitude, 1634 00:54:57,820 --> 00:54:58,870 you know what I mean. 1635 00:54:58,870 --> 00:55:00,350 You're a fighter. 1636 00:55:00,350 --> 00:55:01,270 You're a survivor. 1637 00:55:01,270 --> 00:55:02,905 - Are you a letter? 1638 00:55:02,905 --> 00:55:04,745 - [Tyler] I've been told that I'm a D before. 1639 00:55:04,745 --> 00:55:06,504 So. 1640 00:55:06,504 --> 00:55:07,506 - As in a douchebag? 1641 00:55:07,506 --> 00:55:08,500 - Like dick. 1642 00:55:08,500 --> 00:55:11,710 I don't know if it's a big one, but it's a pretty cock. 1643 00:55:11,710 --> 00:55:12,580 It's nice to look at. 1644 00:55:12,580 --> 00:55:13,980 - Anyway. 1645 00:55:13,980 --> 00:55:14,900 Since you're a letter, 1646 00:55:14,900 --> 00:55:16,585 I'm gonna need you to C your way out. 1647 00:55:16,585 --> 00:55:17,740 - Oh, that's funny. 1648 00:55:17,740 --> 00:55:20,938 I'm gonna need to see you M on those tits. 1649 00:55:20,938 --> 00:55:22,562 (laughter) 1650 00:55:22,562 --> 00:55:23,566 - I was actually 1651 00:55:23,566 --> 00:55:24,470 one of your businesses today. 1652 00:55:24,470 --> 00:55:26,010 - Well thank you for your patronage. 1653 00:55:26,010 --> 00:55:27,465 - Yeah. 1654 00:55:27,465 --> 00:55:29,060 (laughter) 1655 00:55:29,060 --> 00:55:30,310 - That's classic. 1656 00:55:30,310 --> 00:55:32,185 Alright, which place were you at? 1657 00:55:32,185 --> 00:55:33,764 - Mini cinema. 1658 00:55:33,764 --> 00:55:35,260 - Did you wash your hands 1659 00:55:35,260 --> 00:55:36,686 before you shook my hand there? 1660 00:55:36,686 --> 00:55:38,745 - Shit. 1661 00:55:38,745 --> 00:55:40,526 - That's okay, that's okay. 1662 00:55:40,526 --> 00:55:41,588 (laughter) 1663 00:55:41,588 --> 00:55:43,750 - So it was weird. 1664 00:55:43,750 --> 00:55:44,657 I went in there 1665 00:55:44,657 --> 00:55:46,745 and I didn't see Porn peddler Pete. 1666 00:55:46,745 --> 00:55:49,042 - Oh, he doesn't work for me anymore. 1667 00:55:49,042 --> 00:55:52,300 - What happened? 1668 00:55:52,300 --> 00:55:54,483 - Well he pirated pornography. 1669 00:55:54,483 --> 00:55:56,436 I can't stand for that. 1670 00:55:56,436 --> 00:55:58,640 I mean when you sell pornography, 1671 00:55:58,640 --> 00:56:00,160 you have to pay the taxes, 1672 00:56:00,160 --> 00:56:01,440 the rights, 1673 00:56:01,440 --> 00:56:02,745 all these different fees towards it. 1674 00:56:02,745 --> 00:56:04,500 He didn't do that. 1675 00:56:04,500 --> 00:56:05,550 That's not right. 1676 00:56:05,550 --> 00:56:07,560 People spend a lot of time and money 1677 00:56:07,560 --> 00:56:08,440 making pornography. 1678 00:56:08,440 --> 00:56:10,090 They should be paid 1679 00:56:10,090 --> 00:56:11,924 a living wage for such things. 1680 00:56:11,924 --> 00:56:15,070 Yeah, so he was pirating pornography 1681 00:56:15,070 --> 00:56:15,950 all over town. 1682 00:56:15,950 --> 00:56:17,625 And I found out about it 1683 00:56:17,625 --> 00:56:18,560 and I had to let I'm go. 1684 00:56:18,560 --> 00:56:19,560 Broke his heart. 1685 00:56:19,560 --> 00:56:20,393 He loved that job. 1686 00:56:20,393 --> 00:56:21,330 - He did love that job. 1687 00:56:21,330 --> 00:56:22,770 Man, this whole time, 1688 00:56:22,770 --> 00:56:24,450 everybody thought you were morally bankrupt. 1689 00:56:24,450 --> 00:56:26,543 I guess we were just in a recession. 1690 00:56:26,543 --> 00:56:27,520 (laughter) 1691 00:56:27,520 --> 00:56:28,788 - Irony isn't it. 1692 00:56:28,788 --> 00:56:30,410 - Now you say it, 1693 00:56:30,410 --> 00:56:31,950 now I do remember something about it. 1694 00:56:31,950 --> 00:56:33,920 I heard his house got raided. 1695 00:56:33,920 --> 00:56:34,950 Like the police came in, 1696 00:56:34,950 --> 00:56:36,157 swat team came in 1697 00:56:36,157 --> 00:56:38,505 and they found some stuff in the basement. 1698 00:56:38,505 --> 00:56:40,300 - I didn't hear about this. 1699 00:56:40,300 --> 00:56:41,133 What? 1700 00:56:41,133 --> 00:56:42,724 - He had an archive of secret things. 1701 00:56:42,724 --> 00:56:45,380 I mean it was almost like Donnie Darko 1702 00:56:45,380 --> 00:56:46,850 and you realize Patrick Swayze 1703 00:56:46,850 --> 00:56:47,720 had like the 1704 00:56:47,720 --> 00:56:49,490 kiddie porn dungeon in there. 1705 00:56:49,490 --> 00:56:50,327 It wasn't like that. 1706 00:56:50,327 --> 00:56:52,410 It was a whole nother thing. 1707 00:56:52,410 --> 00:56:53,590 Raider porn. 1708 00:56:53,590 --> 00:56:54,423 - What's raider? 1709 00:56:54,423 --> 00:56:55,290 I've never heard of a Raider porn. 1710 00:56:55,290 --> 00:56:56,240 What's Raider porn? 1711 00:56:57,510 --> 00:56:58,970 - It's when white supremacists 1712 00:56:58,970 --> 00:57:00,710 have furry parties 1713 00:57:00,710 --> 00:57:01,910 and they bang each other 1714 00:57:03,486 --> 00:57:04,319 and film it. 1715 00:57:04,319 --> 00:57:05,748 - But wait a minute. 1716 00:57:05,748 --> 00:57:06,610 How many animals in the animal kingdom 1717 00:57:06,610 --> 00:57:07,690 are actually white? 1718 00:57:07,690 --> 00:57:09,086 - Like a snow leopard. 1719 00:57:09,086 --> 00:57:10,846 - You got doves. 1720 00:57:10,846 --> 00:57:14,693 Like an albino squirrel maybe. 1721 00:57:16,100 --> 00:57:17,330 - God man, a polar bear. 1722 00:57:17,330 --> 00:57:18,163 - [Kevin] Polar bear. 1723 00:57:18,163 --> 00:57:19,406 - Polar bear. 1724 00:57:19,406 --> 00:57:20,404 Yeah, polar bear. 1725 00:57:20,404 --> 00:57:22,490 - You know when it's white supremacists 1726 00:57:22,490 --> 00:57:24,206 is all in the missionary position. 1727 00:57:24,206 --> 00:57:25,326 (laughter) 1728 00:57:25,326 --> 00:57:26,300 So it's gonna be boring as hell. 1729 00:57:26,300 --> 00:57:27,133 - But wait a minute, 1730 00:57:27,133 --> 00:57:28,440 if a brown bear comes in 1731 00:57:28,440 --> 00:57:30,244 it just kind of throws the whole thing off. 1732 00:57:30,244 --> 00:57:31,300 - Yeah. 1733 00:57:31,300 --> 00:57:32,962 They ain't letting this guy in. 1734 00:57:32,962 --> 00:57:33,982 Come on. 1735 00:57:33,982 --> 00:57:35,422 - Imagine he walks in, 1736 00:57:35,422 --> 00:57:36,502 do you mind if I dance with your dates? 1737 00:57:36,502 --> 00:57:37,501 (laughter) 1738 00:57:37,501 --> 00:57:38,505 - Oh come on, 1739 00:57:38,505 --> 00:57:39,502 they're gonna worry about it. 1740 00:57:39,502 --> 00:57:40,505 They're gonna produce some sort of skunk baby 1741 00:57:40,505 --> 00:57:41,502 in their minds. 1742 00:57:41,502 --> 00:57:42,505 Come on man. 1743 00:57:42,505 --> 00:57:43,502 That ain't gonna happen. 1744 00:57:43,502 --> 00:57:44,505 - Imagine a neo-Nazi 1745 00:57:44,505 --> 00:57:45,502 mid stroke in the middle of raider porn 1746 00:57:45,502 --> 00:57:46,505 and a black bear walks in. 1747 00:57:46,505 --> 00:57:48,170 Allah, adult shop mop 1748 00:57:48,170 --> 00:57:49,865 and I'm soft. 1749 00:57:49,865 --> 00:57:51,270 (laughter) 1750 00:57:51,270 --> 00:57:52,130 - I mean hand job 1751 00:57:52,130 --> 00:57:53,440 even just, 1752 00:57:53,440 --> 00:57:55,140 I watch you, you watch me. 1753 00:57:55,140 --> 00:57:55,973 I would 1754 00:57:55,973 --> 00:57:56,837 eat ass, 1755 00:57:56,837 --> 00:57:58,400 but that would be like 1756 00:57:58,400 --> 00:57:59,330 eating at Benny Hannas 1757 00:57:59,330 --> 00:58:00,250 from the looks of things. 1758 00:58:00,250 --> 00:58:01,170 - Seriously? 1759 00:58:01,170 --> 00:58:02,608 - Yeah. 1760 00:58:02,608 --> 00:58:03,441 For serious, oh big time. 1761 00:58:03,441 --> 00:58:04,274 - This is the best you can do to pick up a girl? 1762 00:58:04,274 --> 00:58:06,024 - I mean, 1763 00:58:06,024 --> 00:58:07,831 the next one is either pull out a wallet 1764 00:58:07,831 --> 00:58:11,650 or get you in one of my dad's Nissan's or something. 1765 00:58:11,650 --> 00:58:12,630 I don't know 1766 00:58:12,630 --> 00:58:14,231 what you're currently, 1767 00:58:14,231 --> 00:58:15,329 your like current APR is 1768 00:58:15,329 --> 00:58:16,162 or what your 1769 00:58:16,162 --> 00:58:17,350 as far as lease goes or anything, 1770 00:58:17,350 --> 00:58:18,183 but I can get you a car. 1771 00:58:18,183 --> 00:58:19,388 I can get you money. 1772 00:58:19,388 --> 00:58:22,620 Some fake titties, or something. 1773 00:58:22,620 --> 00:58:23,453 Whatever you want, 1774 00:58:23,453 --> 00:58:24,286 I would do it for you. 1775 00:58:24,286 --> 00:58:26,049 - Dude, I am too good for you. 1776 00:58:26,049 --> 00:58:28,005 - There's only one way to find out. 1777 00:58:28,005 --> 00:58:29,089 And a lot of times, 1778 00:58:29,089 --> 00:58:29,922 like the big trend right now 1779 00:58:29,922 --> 00:58:31,089 I've seen online is for women 1780 00:58:31,089 --> 00:58:31,922 to like carry men. 1781 00:58:31,922 --> 00:58:32,755 I can be that piece of shit boyfriend 1782 00:58:32,755 --> 00:58:34,090 that all your friends joke about. 1783 00:58:34,090 --> 00:58:34,923 And you know, really though, 1784 00:58:34,923 --> 00:58:35,954 when you come home, 1785 00:58:35,954 --> 00:58:36,787 I'm-- 1786 00:58:36,787 --> 00:58:37,620 - Dude, I've been there, done that, so. 1787 00:58:37,620 --> 00:58:38,526 - You haven't done this yet tough. 1788 00:58:38,526 --> 00:58:40,030 - Raider porn. 1789 00:58:40,030 --> 00:58:41,340 There's actually raider porn. 1790 00:58:41,340 --> 00:58:42,173 That's not a joke? 1791 00:58:42,173 --> 00:58:43,508 - No dude. 1792 00:58:43,508 --> 00:58:44,509 I'm dead serious. 1793 00:58:44,509 --> 00:58:45,509 - Why the hell did he have raider porn in his basement? 1794 00:58:45,509 --> 00:58:46,342 - I don't know man. 1795 00:58:46,342 --> 00:58:49,130 He had like some weird, sick little obsession in there. 1796 00:58:49,130 --> 00:58:49,963 And he kept going with it. 1797 00:58:49,963 --> 00:58:51,140 - And the cops 1798 00:58:51,140 --> 00:58:52,280 came for it. 1799 00:58:52,280 --> 00:58:53,452 Oh god. 1800 00:58:53,452 --> 00:58:54,285 - They did dude. 1801 00:58:54,285 --> 00:58:55,118 - Oh my god. 1802 00:58:55,118 --> 00:58:56,940 I bet his nice little Methodist mother 1803 00:58:56,940 --> 00:58:59,730 lost it when she saw the cops showing up 1804 00:58:59,730 --> 00:59:01,051 to get his raider porn collection. 1805 00:59:01,051 --> 00:59:02,593 - He was always in to like 1806 00:59:02,593 --> 00:59:03,612 weird figure skating, 1807 00:59:03,612 --> 00:59:04,445 but maybe because it's like 1808 00:59:04,445 --> 00:59:05,790 usually white petite girls. 1809 00:59:05,790 --> 00:59:06,652 - Well he was an interesting, 1810 00:59:06,652 --> 00:59:08,470 he was an interesting duck. 1811 00:59:08,470 --> 00:59:10,070 - Always kind of floating through the air, 1812 00:59:10,070 --> 00:59:11,030 maybe like a bird. 1813 00:59:11,030 --> 00:59:12,231 - A strange kid, a strange kid. 1814 00:59:12,231 --> 00:59:13,750 But, 1815 00:59:13,750 --> 00:59:15,169 I can forgive all that. 1816 00:59:15,169 --> 00:59:17,010 But you don't pirate pornography 1817 00:59:17,010 --> 00:59:18,290 because people are not being paid 1818 00:59:18,290 --> 00:59:19,911 the proper taxes, fees and residuals 1819 00:59:19,911 --> 00:59:21,729 that they are entitled to. 1820 00:59:21,729 --> 00:59:23,740 But raider porn, 1821 00:59:23,740 --> 00:59:25,290 that's a bridge too far. 1822 00:59:25,290 --> 00:59:26,929 - Oh my god. 1823 00:59:26,929 --> 00:59:29,389 Look at this sack of shit. 1824 00:59:29,389 --> 00:59:30,700 Look at him. 1825 00:59:30,700 --> 00:59:31,746 - Oh Christ. 1826 00:59:31,746 --> 00:59:33,500 That is worse than 1827 00:59:33,500 --> 00:59:37,130 having raider porn is being a stand up comedian. 1828 00:59:37,130 --> 00:59:39,660 - I heard that porno Pete was actually 1829 00:59:39,660 --> 00:59:41,240 saying that he was watching that stuff 1830 00:59:41,240 --> 00:59:43,415 to build up a stand up comedy act. 1831 00:59:43,415 --> 00:59:44,720 - So his 1832 00:59:44,720 --> 00:59:47,713 excuse was I have a raider porn collection to-- 1833 00:59:47,713 --> 00:59:50,560 - Work on a bit. 1834 00:59:50,560 --> 00:59:51,760 - To work on a bit. 1835 00:59:51,760 --> 00:59:53,610 I think I'd rather be a porn hound 1836 00:59:53,610 --> 00:59:55,153 than be a stand up comedian. 1837 00:59:55,153 --> 00:59:55,986 That is like the lowest of the low. 1838 00:59:55,986 --> 00:59:57,227 - God, can you imagine what it would have been like 1839 00:59:57,227 --> 00:59:59,130 if we had to go around like 1840 00:59:59,130 --> 01:00:00,671 the community-- 1841 01:00:00,671 --> 01:00:01,671 - You had to go door to door 1842 01:00:01,671 --> 01:00:02,673 and tell everybody he was a standup. 1843 01:00:02,673 --> 01:00:04,570 (laughter) 1844 01:00:04,570 --> 01:00:05,700 I'm sorry. 1845 01:00:05,700 --> 01:00:07,269 I'm Pete, I live down at-- 1846 01:00:07,269 --> 01:00:09,450 - I live within your community. 1847 01:00:09,450 --> 01:00:10,283 - Oh my god. 1848 01:00:10,283 --> 01:00:12,055 What was his Methodist more upset about? 1849 01:00:12,055 --> 01:00:13,640 The fact that he was 1850 01:00:13,640 --> 01:00:15,892 peddling porn and pirating it all over town 1851 01:00:15,892 --> 01:00:18,230 or that he's gonna be a stand up comedian? 1852 01:00:18,230 --> 01:00:20,010 (laughter) 1853 01:00:20,010 --> 01:00:21,210 - Dude, I don't know. 1854 01:00:21,210 --> 01:00:22,043 It's got. 1855 01:00:23,031 --> 01:00:24,231 Oh my god. 1856 01:00:24,231 --> 01:00:25,271 - [Boss] Speaking, yeah, Jesus, 1857 01:00:25,271 --> 01:00:26,273 speaking of the devil, 1858 01:00:26,273 --> 01:00:27,271 look at that sack of shit. 1859 01:00:27,271 --> 01:00:28,295 Oh my god. 1860 01:00:28,295 --> 01:00:29,292 - [Matt] Oh my god. 1861 01:00:29,292 --> 01:00:30,373 How embarrassing would that be. 1862 01:00:30,373 --> 01:00:31,575 - See, 1863 01:00:31,575 --> 01:00:34,840 I bet his parents are so proud. 1864 01:00:34,840 --> 01:00:35,673 Oh my god. 1865 01:00:35,673 --> 01:00:36,730 - Oh yeah, definitely. 1866 01:00:36,730 --> 01:00:38,780 That guys is just driving like 1867 01:00:38,780 --> 01:00:40,640 a red mustang 1868 01:00:40,640 --> 01:00:42,150 with a canvas top convertible. 1869 01:00:42,150 --> 01:00:43,820 Not even a V8, a V6. 1870 01:00:43,820 --> 01:00:44,700 Automatic. 1871 01:00:44,700 --> 01:00:46,310 - It was a V8. 1872 01:00:46,310 --> 01:00:48,332 I hope I'm never 1873 01:00:48,332 --> 01:00:51,095 that low that I have to do something like that 1874 01:00:51,095 --> 01:00:52,300 to garner attention. 1875 01:00:52,300 --> 01:00:53,610 - Oh dude. 1876 01:00:53,610 --> 01:00:55,233 I'd rather be sucking dick from behind in the alley 1877 01:00:55,233 --> 01:00:57,410 making decent wage off of that 1878 01:00:57,410 --> 01:00:58,880 than to ever have to speak any kind of 1879 01:00:58,880 --> 01:01:00,450 words into a microphone. 1880 01:01:00,450 --> 01:01:01,950 - Matt, please, let's make a promise 1881 01:01:01,950 --> 01:01:04,340 that we never, ever have to do standup comedy. 1882 01:01:04,340 --> 01:01:05,173 - Yeah. 1883 01:01:06,012 --> 01:01:08,429 (soft music) 1884 01:01:09,550 --> 01:01:11,153 - Real quick, bathroom, three minutes. 1885 01:01:11,153 --> 01:01:12,170 - I don't want to. 1886 01:01:12,170 --> 01:01:13,175 - Behind this jukebox? 1887 01:01:13,175 --> 01:01:14,170 We fucking pull this thing out. 1888 01:01:14,170 --> 01:01:15,175 - I really don't want to. 1889 01:01:15,175 --> 01:01:16,040 - That's okay. 1890 01:01:16,040 --> 01:01:17,397 I'll watch you do some stuff. 1891 01:01:17,397 --> 01:01:19,990 - Indeed rather have the Bros two times over 1892 01:01:19,990 --> 01:01:21,690 than I'd have you. 1893 01:01:21,690 --> 01:01:23,410 - That'd probably feel about the same. 1894 01:01:23,410 --> 01:01:24,935 You got a little 1895 01:01:24,935 --> 01:01:26,523 nubby nubby in each hand. 1896 01:01:26,523 --> 01:01:27,735 A little corn holder. 1897 01:01:27,735 --> 01:01:29,020 If that's what you want, 1898 01:01:29,020 --> 01:01:30,534 I'll arrange it. 1899 01:01:30,534 --> 01:01:31,367 I know them. 1900 01:01:31,367 --> 01:01:32,535 - They don't like you though. 1901 01:01:32,535 --> 01:01:34,003 - No one really does, but I mean. 1902 01:01:34,003 --> 01:01:35,130 - Then why are you here? 1903 01:01:35,130 --> 01:01:38,540 If no one likes you, then why are you here? 1904 01:01:38,540 --> 01:01:40,135 Why don't you go fuck off? 1905 01:01:40,135 --> 01:01:42,193 Back to Douche land? 1906 01:01:42,193 --> 01:01:43,450 - I will do that. 1907 01:01:43,450 --> 01:01:45,000 If you change your mind, 1908 01:01:45,000 --> 01:01:46,220 I'll be over here. - I won't. 1909 01:01:46,220 --> 01:01:47,111 - That's okay. 1910 01:01:47,111 --> 01:01:48,133 You might. - So fuck off. 1911 01:01:48,133 --> 01:01:48,966 - I've got that thing 1912 01:01:48,966 --> 01:01:49,799 in the back of your mind. 1913 01:01:49,799 --> 01:01:50,850 You'll be thinking about it. 1914 01:01:50,850 --> 01:01:51,683 - [Girl] Nope. - [Tyler] Think about it. 1915 01:01:51,683 --> 01:01:53,065 - [Girl] Fuck off. 1916 01:01:53,065 --> 01:01:55,390 - God. 1917 01:01:55,390 --> 01:01:56,610 I can't get any pussy in this place. 1918 01:01:56,610 --> 01:01:58,350 I might as well go fucking kings and queens. 1919 01:01:58,350 --> 01:01:59,660 - Jesus Christ dude, 1920 01:01:59,660 --> 01:02:01,427 you're objectifying that sliz. 1921 01:02:01,427 --> 01:02:03,110 - What does that even mean? 1922 01:02:03,110 --> 01:02:04,250 Objectifying? 1923 01:02:04,250 --> 01:02:05,944 You sound like one of those broads man. 1924 01:02:05,944 --> 01:02:07,212 - You know, 1925 01:02:07,212 --> 01:02:08,800 loose morals, 1926 01:02:08,800 --> 01:02:09,751 a little bit of loose action. 1927 01:02:09,751 --> 01:02:10,584 That's what I mean. 1928 01:02:10,584 --> 01:02:13,340 - [Tyler] Yeah, then objectifying I was. 1929 01:02:13,340 --> 01:02:15,720 It's my objective all night to do that. 1930 01:02:15,720 --> 01:02:17,323 Trying to find some clam, man. 1931 01:02:17,323 --> 01:02:18,230 A little slam clam. 1932 01:02:18,230 --> 01:02:19,063 Clam digger. 1933 01:02:20,900 --> 01:02:22,060 Anything I can do to muff some duff. 1934 01:02:22,060 --> 01:02:24,460 - [Matt] I didn't realize your a shoreman yourself. 1935 01:02:24,460 --> 01:02:25,570 Nectar Wookie, 1936 01:02:25,570 --> 01:02:26,900 a lifeless idiot 1937 01:02:26,900 --> 01:02:27,880 whose whole existence 1938 01:02:27,880 --> 01:02:30,151 consists of following around bands like Base Nectar. 1939 01:02:30,151 --> 01:02:32,700 When they're not out selling bunk drugs, 1940 01:02:32,700 --> 01:02:34,600 veggie burritos and grilled cheese, 1941 01:02:34,600 --> 01:02:36,190 they're often swiping drinks 1942 01:02:36,190 --> 01:02:38,730 and trying to borrow literally everything 1943 01:02:38,730 --> 01:02:40,600 at music festivals. 1944 01:02:40,600 --> 01:02:43,830 A Nectar Wookie is the natural enemy of a hipster, 1945 01:02:43,830 --> 01:02:45,380 kind of like in Twilight 1946 01:02:45,380 --> 01:02:47,255 with the vampires and werewolves. 1947 01:02:47,255 --> 01:02:50,910 Hey, Kristen Steward is a jew. 1948 01:02:50,910 --> 01:02:53,000 Why else would she get with a 100 year old guy 1949 01:02:53,000 --> 01:02:54,812 with a nice german car? 1950 01:02:54,812 --> 01:02:57,145 (inaudible) 1951 01:02:58,687 --> 01:03:00,590 - I don't mean to cause alarm, 1952 01:03:00,590 --> 01:03:02,913 but doth my nostrils deceive me, 1953 01:03:02,913 --> 01:03:05,510 we have a nectar wookie 1954 01:03:05,510 --> 01:03:06,343 in our midst. 1955 01:03:08,150 --> 01:03:10,480 - Oh, I'm sorry yeah. 1956 01:03:10,480 --> 01:03:11,313 That's me. 1957 01:03:11,313 --> 01:03:12,812 I haven't, 1958 01:03:12,812 --> 01:03:14,209 I haven't showered in a few weeks, so. 1959 01:03:14,209 --> 01:03:16,871 - Also, Bonoroo has a bathroom in a few weeks. 1960 01:03:16,871 --> 01:03:18,920 - No, that's, 1961 01:03:18,920 --> 01:03:20,673 that's actually next week, 1962 01:03:20,673 --> 01:03:22,193 I'm pretty sure. 1963 01:03:22,193 --> 01:03:23,203 Yeah. 1964 01:03:23,203 --> 01:03:24,813 - I don't have marijuana. 1965 01:03:26,200 --> 01:03:28,023 That drink was not yours. 1966 01:03:28,929 --> 01:03:31,770 Bonoroo is that way. 1967 01:03:31,770 --> 01:03:33,260 - Oh, okay. 1968 01:03:33,260 --> 01:03:34,880 - Yeah, Phish is about to take the stage man. 1969 01:03:34,880 --> 01:03:35,920 You should go. 1970 01:03:35,920 --> 01:03:37,150 - Guess what, 1971 01:03:37,150 --> 01:03:38,040 guess what, 1972 01:03:38,040 --> 01:03:39,140 Base Nectar 1973 01:03:39,140 --> 01:03:40,720 not on the jukebox. 1974 01:03:40,720 --> 01:03:42,100 How about you dubstep 1975 01:03:42,100 --> 01:03:43,380 walk away from the situation 1976 01:03:43,380 --> 01:03:44,950 you fucking wookie. 1977 01:03:44,950 --> 01:03:45,790 - Jesus, okay. 1978 01:03:45,790 --> 01:03:46,623 I'm sorry. 1979 01:03:46,623 --> 01:03:48,150 - Stay the fuck out of gong fu, okay. 1980 01:03:48,150 --> 01:03:49,329 - By the way, 1981 01:03:49,329 --> 01:03:51,191 you guys have any mushrooms? 1982 01:03:51,191 --> 01:03:52,309 - Get the fuck out of here. 1983 01:03:52,309 --> 01:03:53,290 We don't have anything. 1984 01:03:53,290 --> 01:03:55,490 - [Tyler] Fucking Mark Walberg in Rock Star. 1985 01:03:57,964 --> 01:03:59,030 - That's not a bad movie, honestly. 1986 01:03:59,030 --> 01:04:01,082 - Hey, did you see what happened to my drink? 1987 01:04:01,082 --> 01:04:03,120 - Sorry man. 1988 01:04:03,120 --> 01:04:05,170 The fucking woff took it. 1989 01:04:05,170 --> 01:04:06,003 - Sorry man. 1990 01:04:06,003 --> 01:04:07,260 - Thanks for looking out, man. 1991 01:04:07,260 --> 01:04:09,523 Bartender, get these bros a drink on me. 1992 01:04:11,710 --> 01:04:13,460 - [Kevin] So bros, it's last call. 1993 01:04:13,460 --> 01:04:14,950 What are you thinking? 1994 01:04:14,950 --> 01:04:15,980 - Scotch. 1995 01:04:15,980 --> 01:04:17,150 - Scotch. 1996 01:04:17,150 --> 01:04:18,440 - Scotch? 1997 01:04:18,440 --> 01:04:19,273 - Scotch. 1998 01:04:19,273 --> 01:04:20,443 - Scotch. 1999 01:04:20,443 --> 01:04:21,447 - Better not be Doers. 2000 01:04:21,447 --> 01:04:22,444 - Alright, bros, 2001 01:04:22,444 --> 01:04:23,602 this is Singleton, 2002 01:04:23,602 --> 01:04:24,652 the Glenlive 12 year, 2003 01:04:25,500 --> 01:04:26,780 single malt. 2004 01:04:26,780 --> 01:04:27,920 You know about that, Harold. 2005 01:04:27,920 --> 01:04:30,033 - [Harold] Hey, it's not Doers guys, we're good. 2006 01:04:32,983 --> 01:04:33,816 - [Kevin] We'll pour it neat. 2007 01:04:34,723 --> 01:04:36,786 - [Matt] You know what that means? 2008 01:04:36,786 --> 01:04:37,619 - [Tyler] No. 2009 01:04:37,619 --> 01:04:38,706 - Harold. 2010 01:04:38,706 --> 01:04:40,188 - [Harold] Yes? 2011 01:04:40,188 --> 01:04:42,370 - [Tyler] You're pouring it really quick. 2012 01:04:42,370 --> 01:04:43,642 That's neat man. 2013 01:04:43,642 --> 01:04:45,193 Neato. 2014 01:04:48,082 --> 01:04:48,915 - What I'm gonna do now 2015 01:04:48,915 --> 01:04:50,802 is I'm gonna put a couple drops of water 2016 01:04:50,802 --> 01:04:51,635 in each one. 2017 01:04:51,635 --> 01:04:53,500 It changes the molecular density. 2018 01:04:53,500 --> 01:04:54,343 It opens it up. 2019 01:04:55,320 --> 01:04:56,770 - [Tyler] Like a bouquet. 2020 01:04:56,770 --> 01:04:58,000 - [Matt] Exactly. 2021 01:04:58,000 --> 01:04:59,320 - [Tyler] Like a lady's legs. 2022 01:04:59,320 --> 01:05:00,770 - [Matt] With the best water 2023 01:05:01,724 --> 01:05:02,570 in the valley. 2024 01:05:02,570 --> 01:05:04,390 Actually in the world. 2025 01:05:04,390 --> 01:05:05,223 - [Harold] Yep. 2026 01:05:06,220 --> 01:05:08,159 - [Tyler] Best hangover cure 2027 01:05:08,159 --> 01:05:09,590 right there. 2028 01:05:09,590 --> 01:05:11,230 Water. 2029 01:05:11,230 --> 01:05:13,280 - I wish we had some Roy Orbesen records. 2030 01:05:15,184 --> 01:05:17,601 (rock music) 2031 01:05:21,308 --> 01:05:23,378 Is that how you discard your scotch? 2032 01:05:23,378 --> 01:05:25,143 - Yeah, is there another way? 2033 01:05:25,143 --> 01:05:26,800 - My god, you're still doing 2034 01:05:26,800 --> 01:05:28,450 fucking Big League Chew? 2035 01:05:28,450 --> 01:05:29,283 - Fucking A right man, 2036 01:05:29,283 --> 01:05:30,562 cause I'm a pro. 2037 01:05:30,562 --> 01:05:31,599 - We should have given him Doers. 2038 01:05:31,599 --> 01:05:35,746 - What is the next plan of attack? 2039 01:05:35,746 --> 01:05:37,600 Cause this is a lot of fun and all, but-- 2040 01:05:37,600 --> 01:05:39,282 - I have a Lyft. 2041 01:05:39,282 --> 01:05:40,882 - Who? 2042 01:05:40,882 --> 01:05:43,080 - Somebody named Ling. 2043 01:05:43,080 --> 01:05:44,100 - No. 2044 01:05:44,100 --> 01:05:44,933 No, no, no, no. 2045 01:05:46,343 --> 01:05:47,630 Trust me. 2046 01:05:47,630 --> 01:05:49,650 I got pepper sprayed by that broad. 2047 01:05:49,650 --> 01:05:50,780 No. 2048 01:05:50,780 --> 01:05:52,082 - I'm from Brooklyn, you motherfucker. 2049 01:05:52,082 --> 01:05:53,050 - Wait, wait, 2050 01:05:53,050 --> 01:05:54,743 there's a Brooklyn in China? 2051 01:05:54,743 --> 01:05:56,844 - I sprayed her with my pepper. 2052 01:05:56,844 --> 01:05:58,867 - Oh, I think I heard of that. 2053 01:05:58,867 --> 01:06:01,120 Did she join AA Elias after that? 2054 01:06:01,120 --> 01:06:02,710 - Oh hell yeah, she did. 2055 01:06:02,710 --> 01:06:03,543 - Okay. 2056 01:06:03,543 --> 01:06:04,764 - Oh yeah. 2057 01:06:04,764 --> 01:06:05,950 - Yeah I'd sober up if I had to bang this guy. 2058 01:06:05,950 --> 01:06:06,783 - I'm just saying, 2059 01:06:06,783 --> 01:06:07,616 if I had my dick inside you you, 2060 01:06:07,616 --> 01:06:09,324 your gonna make some good positive changes in life. 2061 01:06:09,324 --> 01:06:10,600 - My god. 2062 01:06:10,600 --> 01:06:12,060 Look, I'm gonna get on 2063 01:06:12,060 --> 01:06:13,010 Uber right now. 2064 01:06:13,010 --> 01:06:14,980 I know I'm not gonna get in the fucking Uber Jew. 2065 01:06:14,980 --> 01:06:16,160 - Oh, the Uber Jew. 2066 01:06:16,160 --> 01:06:17,290 Yah. 2067 01:06:17,290 --> 01:06:18,450 - Uber Jew? 2068 01:06:18,450 --> 01:06:19,283 - Yeah. - Yeah. 2069 01:06:19,283 --> 01:06:20,800 - It seems a little 2070 01:06:20,800 --> 01:06:22,306 antisemitic and maybe a bit tasteless. 2071 01:06:22,306 --> 01:06:23,910 - Oh my god. 2072 01:06:23,910 --> 01:06:27,410 It's not like I fucking called in the sheeny shuttler. 2073 01:06:27,410 --> 01:06:29,804 Fucking kike cart dude. 2074 01:06:29,804 --> 01:06:31,560 Oh my god dude. 2075 01:06:31,560 --> 01:06:33,240 - [Tyler] I'm on the old hieve highway. 2076 01:06:33,240 --> 01:06:35,613 - [Matt] Hey, (inaudible) 2077 01:06:37,858 --> 01:06:38,850 - I wouldn't say I'm gay. 2078 01:06:38,850 --> 01:06:41,362 But I've definitely done some gay shit, dude. 2079 01:06:41,362 --> 01:06:43,295 - Yeah you have. 2080 01:06:43,295 --> 01:06:44,223 - Yeah. 2081 01:06:44,223 --> 01:06:45,260 - We're fully aware. 2082 01:06:45,260 --> 01:06:47,162 - You haven't? 2083 01:06:47,162 --> 01:06:50,470 No? 2084 01:06:50,470 --> 01:06:51,936 - No. 2085 01:06:51,936 --> 01:06:52,884 - Harold was never 2086 01:06:52,884 --> 01:06:54,178 partook in homosexual. 2087 01:06:54,178 --> 01:06:55,011 - You're gonna tell me with that jacket, 2088 01:06:55,011 --> 01:06:57,573 and that beard you guys have never done anything gay? 2089 01:06:59,100 --> 01:07:00,883 - Maybe watched the WNBA. 2090 01:07:03,680 --> 01:07:05,375 - I would tell you, 2091 01:07:05,375 --> 01:07:06,575 if you got more in touch 2092 01:07:06,575 --> 01:07:07,408 with your male side, 2093 01:07:07,408 --> 01:07:08,680 you might have, 2094 01:07:08,680 --> 01:07:09,513 I don't know, 2095 01:07:09,513 --> 01:07:11,053 more luck getting women. 2096 01:07:11,053 --> 01:07:12,740 - I actually prefer the WNBA. 2097 01:07:12,740 --> 01:07:14,196 It's more a team sport. 2098 01:07:14,196 --> 01:07:16,091 (laughter) 2099 01:07:16,091 --> 01:07:17,650 - The only reason you like watching the WNBA 2100 01:07:17,650 --> 01:07:18,970 is because a lot of those ladies 2101 01:07:18,970 --> 01:07:20,230 have Adam's apples. 2102 01:07:20,230 --> 01:07:21,599 - I really appreciate their talent. 2103 01:07:21,599 --> 01:07:22,590 - God, would you be in to it 2104 01:07:22,590 --> 01:07:23,870 if they did? 2105 01:07:23,870 --> 01:07:25,339 - No, dude. 2106 01:07:25,339 --> 01:07:27,670 I'm like a fucking ancient Roman warrior. 2107 01:07:27,670 --> 01:07:30,070 That is the only reason why me and my other male friends 2108 01:07:30,070 --> 01:07:31,940 have bonded in the way that we have. 2109 01:07:31,940 --> 01:07:34,400 I wouldn't say it's anything sexual about it. 2110 01:07:34,400 --> 01:07:35,460 It's more about 2111 01:07:35,460 --> 01:07:36,820 becoming brothers, 2112 01:07:36,820 --> 01:07:38,239 becoming closer than you ever could. 2113 01:07:38,239 --> 01:07:39,358 Someone's life in your hands, 2114 01:07:39,358 --> 01:07:41,554 you want to really trust somebody, 2115 01:07:41,554 --> 01:07:43,516 jerk that dick off. 2116 01:07:43,516 --> 01:07:44,410 You know what I mean. 2117 01:07:44,410 --> 01:07:46,220 You really learn a lot about somebody. 2118 01:07:46,220 --> 01:07:47,679 - Achilles and Hector, you are not. 2119 01:07:47,679 --> 01:07:49,350 - No, hell no. 2120 01:07:49,350 --> 01:07:51,460 I'm not gonna die because the back of my fucking ankle 2121 01:07:51,460 --> 01:07:52,390 gets tweaked. 2122 01:07:52,390 --> 01:07:53,656 You know what I mean. 2123 01:07:53,656 --> 01:07:54,890 (laughter) 2124 01:07:54,890 --> 01:07:56,356 No, I'm 2125 01:07:56,356 --> 01:07:57,740 like Brad Pitt, 2126 01:07:57,740 --> 01:07:59,396 but more like Brad Pitt in Snatch. 2127 01:07:59,396 --> 01:08:00,740 You know what the fuck I mean. 2128 01:08:00,740 --> 01:08:02,290 - You like dikes? 2129 01:08:02,290 --> 01:08:03,576 - Yeah. 2130 01:08:03,576 --> 01:08:04,420 Do I like dikes? 2131 01:08:04,420 --> 01:08:05,716 Or docks? 2132 01:08:05,716 --> 01:08:06,719 - Guys. 2133 01:08:06,719 --> 01:08:07,552 You like guys? 2134 01:08:07,552 --> 01:08:09,600 - Eh, I wouldn't say I like them, 2135 01:08:09,600 --> 01:08:12,040 but if you've never had a dude jerk you off, 2136 01:08:12,040 --> 01:08:13,578 you haven't lived. 2137 01:08:13,578 --> 01:08:15,320 The textile strength that a man has 2138 01:08:15,320 --> 01:08:17,260 is so much better than a woman's. 2139 01:08:17,260 --> 01:08:18,820 - Those calluses. 2140 01:08:18,820 --> 01:08:21,050 - It's like getting a fucking handjob 2141 01:08:21,050 --> 01:08:22,938 from a ranch hand, you know what I mean. 2142 01:08:22,938 --> 01:08:26,538 Just a good firm old Midwestern hand shake. 2143 01:08:26,538 --> 01:08:29,418 You know what I'm talking about. 2144 01:08:29,418 --> 01:08:30,620 In fact, 2145 01:08:30,620 --> 01:08:31,453 let me show you. 2146 01:08:31,453 --> 01:08:32,890 From what I've learned by, 2147 01:08:32,890 --> 01:08:33,723 I don't know, 2148 01:08:33,723 --> 01:08:35,119 being amongst my fellow men, 2149 01:08:35,119 --> 01:08:37,210 I'm gonna teach that lady over there 2150 01:08:37,210 --> 01:08:38,753 a thing or two 2151 01:08:38,753 --> 01:08:40,095 she's never seen. 2152 01:08:40,095 --> 01:08:41,108 (laughter) 2153 01:08:41,108 --> 01:08:43,279 I'm gonna get her to suck my whole penis. 2154 01:08:43,279 --> 01:08:44,298 - Her? 2155 01:08:44,298 --> 01:08:45,295 - Yeah. 2156 01:08:45,295 --> 01:08:46,128 - Her? - Yeah. 2157 01:08:46,128 --> 01:08:47,316 Tiddle biddies over there. 2158 01:08:47,316 --> 01:08:48,319 - Her? 2159 01:08:48,319 --> 01:08:49,316 - Her? 2160 01:08:49,316 --> 01:08:50,335 - Yes, let me, 2161 01:08:50,335 --> 01:08:51,168 let me show you guys, okay. 2162 01:08:51,168 --> 01:08:52,770 I'm, this is gonna be 2163 01:08:52,770 --> 01:08:54,700 Trojan warrior 2164 01:08:54,700 --> 01:08:57,554 and that's my young squire. 2165 01:08:57,554 --> 01:08:58,510 - This is the moment where Harold 2166 01:08:58,510 --> 01:09:00,923 is continually baffled at how we are friends. 2167 01:09:01,999 --> 01:09:02,832 - Let me give you a piece of advice. 2168 01:09:02,832 --> 01:09:04,140 - I wouldn't recommend this. 2169 01:09:04,140 --> 01:09:05,396 - I would not recommend this. 2170 01:09:05,396 --> 01:09:06,495 - Why? 2171 01:09:06,495 --> 01:09:08,474 (laughter) 2172 01:09:08,474 --> 01:09:10,030 She's too easy. 2173 01:09:10,030 --> 01:09:11,236 It's too easy of a kill? 2174 01:09:11,236 --> 01:09:13,210 It's like hunting a wounded deer? 2175 01:09:13,210 --> 01:09:14,130 That's fine. 2176 01:09:14,130 --> 01:09:15,336 That's all I fucking hunt, 2177 01:09:15,336 --> 01:09:16,756 you know what I mean. 2178 01:09:16,756 --> 01:09:17,754 - I think Tyler needs a challenge. 2179 01:09:17,754 --> 01:09:20,370 - I'll accept roadkill. 2180 01:09:20,370 --> 01:09:21,360 Yeah, absolutely. 2181 01:09:21,360 --> 01:09:22,720 - Okay. 2182 01:09:22,720 --> 01:09:24,100 - How about just enough funds 2183 01:09:24,100 --> 01:09:25,050 to go malt scotch 2184 01:09:25,050 --> 01:09:26,794 to appreciate this moment. 2185 01:09:26,794 --> 01:09:27,730 - You guys keep my seat warm. 2186 01:09:27,730 --> 01:09:29,490 I'll be getting my dick wet. 2187 01:09:29,490 --> 01:09:30,323 When I get back, 2188 01:09:30,323 --> 01:09:31,810 you guys can help dab it off 2189 01:09:31,810 --> 01:09:32,643 and tell me how great we did. 2190 01:09:32,643 --> 01:09:34,351 - He's always so rude. 2191 01:09:34,351 --> 01:09:36,530 (rock music) 2192 01:09:36,530 --> 01:09:37,363 I'm not a prude, 2193 01:09:37,363 --> 01:09:39,223 but I can see him appreciating the crude. 2194 01:09:43,010 --> 01:09:44,462 - What's up girl? 2195 01:09:44,462 --> 01:09:45,295 Get you a drink? 2196 01:09:45,295 --> 01:09:46,128 - Yeah. 2197 01:09:46,128 --> 01:09:46,961 Like Red Bulls over here, baby. 2198 01:09:46,961 --> 01:09:48,119 - Sure, I love to smash Red Bull vodkas with you 2199 01:09:48,119 --> 01:09:49,341 all night 2200 01:09:49,341 --> 01:09:52,397 and then you can fuck me doggie style 2201 01:09:52,397 --> 01:09:54,721 while we watch the new season of Blue Mountain State. 2202 01:09:54,721 --> 01:09:57,645 Do you like Nickleback as much as I do? 2203 01:09:57,645 --> 01:09:58,478 - Yes. 2204 01:09:58,478 --> 01:09:59,311 - Yeah. - Oh my god, yeah. 2205 01:09:59,311 --> 01:10:00,144 - I fucking love Tool. 2206 01:10:00,144 --> 01:10:01,123 Yeah. 2207 01:10:03,150 --> 01:10:04,000 - Pull my hair. 2208 01:10:05,218 --> 01:10:07,101 - You're towing my toolbox baby. 2209 01:10:07,101 --> 01:10:08,359 - Oh god. 2210 01:10:08,359 --> 01:10:09,738 Get this little tool out right here. 2211 01:10:09,738 --> 01:10:12,071 - Why do you call it little? 2212 01:10:13,252 --> 01:10:15,952 - Damn, can I get a couple vodka red bulls on her please? 2213 01:10:15,952 --> 01:10:18,494 - Wow, seriously? 2214 01:10:18,494 --> 01:10:19,327 - Uh uh. 2215 01:10:19,327 --> 01:10:21,178 - Who the fuck do you think you are? 2216 01:10:21,178 --> 01:10:23,540 Do you think I'm just some little tool shed 2217 01:10:23,540 --> 01:10:24,426 you can do whatever the fuck you want with? 2218 01:10:24,426 --> 01:10:29,426 God, you are such a typical Cedar Falls WASP 2219 01:10:30,510 --> 01:10:31,890 who probably only got through high school 2220 01:10:31,890 --> 01:10:33,922 on the fact that daddy owned a car dealership. 2221 01:10:33,922 --> 01:10:35,781 How many freshmen cheerleaders 2222 01:10:35,781 --> 01:10:38,130 have you had your dirty little fingers in 2223 01:10:38,130 --> 01:10:39,520 after a lacrosse game? 2224 01:10:39,520 --> 01:10:40,357 Huh? 2225 01:10:40,357 --> 01:10:41,670 Go home. 2226 01:10:41,670 --> 01:10:43,290 Yeah, I can smell them from here. 2227 01:10:43,290 --> 01:10:44,270 Go home, 2228 01:10:44,270 --> 01:10:46,040 wash off the Axe body spray 2229 01:10:46,040 --> 01:10:47,780 and wait for the next time that your mom 2230 01:10:47,780 --> 01:10:48,890 signs you up 2231 01:10:48,890 --> 01:10:49,990 for a bachelor date night 2232 01:10:49,990 --> 01:10:51,893 at your town's failing country club. 2233 01:10:52,847 --> 01:10:53,680 - Wow. 2234 01:10:53,680 --> 01:10:54,513 You blew it. 2235 01:10:54,513 --> 01:10:56,064 Guess who played piccolo their freshman year. 2236 01:10:56,064 --> 01:10:57,589 Peace. 2237 01:10:57,589 --> 01:10:58,629 - Whatever. 2238 01:10:58,629 --> 01:11:01,780 Small penis. 2239 01:11:01,780 --> 01:11:03,160 - [Tyler] It's bigger than yours. 2240 01:11:03,160 --> 01:11:04,930 - I can't even see it through your jeans. 2241 01:11:04,930 --> 01:11:06,714 Get out of here. 2242 01:11:06,714 --> 01:11:07,790 - [Tyler] That's cause they're dark. 2243 01:11:07,790 --> 01:11:10,452 - Oh, what gives Charlie Brown? 2244 01:11:10,452 --> 01:11:12,029 - Fuck you man. 2245 01:11:12,029 --> 01:11:14,613 I struck out. 2246 01:11:14,613 --> 01:11:15,446 - Her? 2247 01:11:15,446 --> 01:11:16,613 With her? 2248 01:11:16,613 --> 01:11:17,674 - Her? 2249 01:11:17,674 --> 01:11:18,520 - Yeah, I struck out with her. 2250 01:11:18,520 --> 01:11:19,820 What's happened to me? 2251 01:11:19,820 --> 01:11:20,653 - Fuck this. 2252 01:11:20,653 --> 01:11:22,487 - Like pirates (inaudible) 2253 01:11:22,487 --> 01:11:23,500 - I think it was Kirk tonight. 2254 01:11:23,500 --> 01:11:24,333 - Guys. 2255 01:11:25,573 --> 01:11:26,751 I'm calling in the nuclear option. 2256 01:11:26,751 --> 01:11:28,340 - No. 2257 01:11:28,340 --> 01:11:29,710 Not the man who's had more girls 2258 01:11:29,710 --> 01:11:30,991 than anyone in Cedar Valley. 2259 01:11:30,991 --> 01:11:31,980 - Yes. 2260 01:11:31,980 --> 01:11:33,600 The sultan of sliz himself. 2261 01:11:33,600 --> 01:11:35,253 - I do admire that man's sexual prowess. 2262 01:11:35,253 --> 01:11:38,580 - And send. 2263 01:11:38,580 --> 01:11:39,890 - She's doomed. - Oh boy. 2264 01:11:44,550 --> 01:11:46,760 (rock music) 2265 01:11:46,760 --> 01:11:48,073 - Sir, you have a message. 2266 01:11:57,271 --> 01:11:59,688 (rock music) 2267 01:12:21,860 --> 01:12:23,415 - Tyler, 2268 01:12:23,415 --> 01:12:24,517 Matt, 2269 01:12:24,517 --> 01:12:25,519 Harold. 2270 01:12:25,519 --> 01:12:26,534 - Mr. Lance. 2271 01:12:26,534 --> 01:12:27,519 Now might be a real good time 2272 01:12:27,519 --> 01:12:28,352 for you to get horny. 2273 01:12:28,352 --> 01:12:29,810 - It's my secret, Matt. 2274 01:12:29,810 --> 01:12:30,643 I'm always horny. 2275 01:12:30,643 --> 01:12:31,519 - Mr. Lance. - So cool. 2276 01:12:31,519 --> 01:12:35,077 - He called me Harold. 2277 01:12:35,077 --> 01:12:36,077 - Oh my god. 2278 01:12:37,039 --> 01:12:38,740 Are you Jeff Lance? 2279 01:12:38,740 --> 01:12:40,433 - You're goddamn right. 2280 01:12:46,950 --> 01:12:48,657 Bros, Jeff Lance. 2281 01:12:48,657 --> 01:12:51,324 (group chatter) 2282 01:12:53,958 --> 01:12:54,890 - So what are you guys doing after this? 2283 01:12:54,890 --> 01:12:56,650 - Going to Cornstalk at Spicoli's. 2284 01:12:56,650 --> 01:12:57,483 - Oh really. 2285 01:12:57,483 --> 01:13:00,310 - I heard Carolina Spine is playing. 2286 01:13:00,310 --> 01:13:01,450 - Caroline 2287 01:13:01,450 --> 01:13:02,450 Spine. 2288 01:13:02,450 --> 01:13:04,040 - Caroline 2289 01:13:04,040 --> 01:13:05,180 Spine. - Get it right. 2290 01:13:05,180 --> 01:13:06,765 - I'm sorry. 2291 01:13:06,765 --> 01:13:07,690 - You know that song about Waterloo, right. 2292 01:13:07,690 --> 01:13:08,941 - Yes, called Mrs. Sullivan. 2293 01:13:08,941 --> 01:13:11,530 - Okay, so like about this Sullivan brothers and 2294 01:13:11,530 --> 01:13:13,842 all that jazz. 2295 01:13:13,842 --> 01:13:15,144 Okay, okay. 2296 01:13:15,144 --> 01:13:16,440 - So oh my god, right, 2297 01:13:16,440 --> 01:13:17,273 we gotta go. 2298 01:13:17,273 --> 01:13:18,445 - Yep, gotta go. 2299 01:13:18,445 --> 01:13:19,442 - Let's do this. 2300 01:13:19,442 --> 01:13:21,173 - Carolina Spine. 2301 01:13:23,600 --> 01:13:24,710 - Alright guys seriously, 2302 01:13:24,710 --> 01:13:26,050 get on the fucking horns. 2303 01:13:26,050 --> 01:13:27,070 We need a driver. 2304 01:13:27,070 --> 01:13:28,160 We gotta get down man. 2305 01:13:28,160 --> 01:13:29,290 Caroline's Spine. 2306 01:13:29,290 --> 01:13:30,163 - Okay, got it. 2307 01:13:31,270 --> 01:13:32,640 - Look at this, the initiative, 2308 01:13:32,640 --> 01:13:34,082 I love it. 2309 01:13:34,082 --> 01:13:35,064 Tyler the tool. 2310 01:13:35,064 --> 01:13:36,141 Does that say fucking Grinder? 2311 01:13:36,141 --> 01:13:37,050 - Yeah dude, 2312 01:13:37,050 --> 01:13:38,420 trying to get my butt hole licked. 2313 01:13:38,420 --> 01:13:39,880 - Can't meet a woman with a tongue strength 2314 01:13:39,880 --> 01:13:41,150 that I require. 2315 01:13:41,150 --> 01:13:42,790 - Tyler, 2316 01:13:42,790 --> 01:13:44,161 cool it with the butt stuff, bros. 2317 01:13:44,161 --> 01:13:46,360 I've done it. 2318 01:13:46,360 --> 01:13:47,590 - You got a ride? 2319 01:13:47,590 --> 01:13:48,640 - I'm a miracle worker. 2320 01:13:48,640 --> 01:13:49,900 - It can't be Lyft. 2321 01:13:49,900 --> 01:13:51,510 - Doth my eyes deceive me. 2322 01:13:51,510 --> 01:13:52,410 - There's this asian lady, 2323 01:13:52,410 --> 01:13:53,880 I climbed her great wall 2324 01:13:53,880 --> 01:13:55,490 like I was Mongolian. 2325 01:13:55,490 --> 01:13:57,202 Genghis Khan up in that bitch. 2326 01:13:57,202 --> 01:13:58,070 - This, 2327 01:13:58,070 --> 01:13:59,421 this is as poetic as Silvia Plath. 2328 01:13:59,421 --> 01:14:00,810 It is. 2329 01:14:00,810 --> 01:14:01,643 - Silvia Plath? 2330 01:14:01,643 --> 01:14:03,110 - It most certainly is. 2331 01:14:03,110 --> 01:14:04,450 - [Tyler] The chick that wrote Frankenstein? 2332 01:14:04,450 --> 01:14:06,490 - [Harold] Harold's eyes doth not deceive him. 2333 01:14:06,490 --> 01:14:07,440 - [Matt] Oh my god. 2334 01:14:08,962 --> 01:14:09,840 They should have sent a poet. 2335 01:14:09,840 --> 01:14:10,673 - They did. 2336 01:14:11,682 --> 01:14:13,640 - Like Robert Frost? 2337 01:14:13,640 --> 01:14:16,633 - It's gold doth stay. 2338 01:14:19,298 --> 01:14:21,170 - [Matt] The Uber Jew, 2339 01:14:21,170 --> 01:14:22,330 the Jewish Uber driver 2340 01:14:22,330 --> 01:14:23,750 who is very Jewish, 2341 01:14:23,750 --> 01:14:25,520 hence he is 2342 01:14:25,520 --> 01:14:26,370 Uber Jew, 2343 01:14:26,370 --> 01:14:29,390 the greatest uber driver ever. 2344 01:14:29,390 --> 01:14:31,142 Fucking love that hebe. 2345 01:14:31,142 --> 01:14:33,700 Hey, he 2346 01:14:33,700 --> 01:14:35,430 who finds faithful friend 2347 01:14:35,430 --> 01:14:37,164 finds a treasure. 2348 01:14:37,164 --> 01:14:39,062 That's a Jewish proverb. 2349 01:14:39,062 --> 01:14:40,473 - Hey, 2350 01:14:44,800 --> 01:14:46,650 Bros got room for one more? 2351 01:14:46,650 --> 01:14:47,650 - Tanner! 2352 01:14:47,650 --> 01:14:48,483 - Hey. 2353 01:14:52,310 --> 01:14:54,140 - [Tyler] Turtles Reunion tour? 2354 01:14:54,140 --> 01:14:56,460 (group chatter) 2355 01:14:56,460 --> 01:14:59,361 - [Uber Jew] you got to sit in the back. 2356 01:14:59,361 --> 01:15:00,742 - [Matt] You got to sit bitch. 2357 01:15:00,742 --> 01:15:02,390 - [Tanner] Okay. 2358 01:15:02,390 --> 01:15:03,542 - Oh my god. 2359 01:15:03,542 --> 01:15:05,622 There hasn't been 2360 01:15:05,622 --> 01:15:06,520 anyone 2361 01:15:07,588 --> 01:15:09,360 as happy to see a Jew 2362 01:15:09,360 --> 01:15:10,193 since I don't know, 2363 01:15:10,193 --> 01:15:12,428 the disciples on first Easter. 2364 01:15:12,428 --> 01:15:15,046 - Starting with that right away, huh. 2365 01:15:15,046 --> 01:15:18,405 - Wait, so why are you back here again? 2366 01:15:18,405 --> 01:15:20,565 - Well, I moved back. 2367 01:15:20,565 --> 01:15:22,404 The cost of living in 2368 01:15:22,404 --> 01:15:24,030 Chicago was a little too high for me. 2369 01:15:24,030 --> 01:15:25,967 - Were you really in Chicago though? 2370 01:15:25,967 --> 01:15:27,486 Were you in Logan Square? 2371 01:15:27,486 --> 01:15:29,649 - I don't believe we've met. - Or more like Evanston? 2372 01:15:29,649 --> 01:15:31,948 - Well Schaumburg actually. 2373 01:15:31,948 --> 01:15:33,470 - I'm Harold. 2374 01:15:33,470 --> 01:15:34,760 No, we have not had the pleasure. 2375 01:15:34,760 --> 01:15:35,670 - Yeah, I was gonna say 2376 01:15:35,670 --> 01:15:37,250 I would remember that beard. 2377 01:15:37,250 --> 01:15:39,009 - Is it reminiscent of mahogany and ash? 2378 01:15:39,009 --> 01:15:41,606 - No. 2379 01:15:41,606 --> 01:15:44,220 - Dude, that fucking hat is sick. 2380 01:15:44,220 --> 01:15:45,710 I gotta get me one of those 2381 01:15:45,710 --> 01:15:47,345 with gold on it. 2382 01:15:47,345 --> 01:15:48,348 And instead of the star, 2383 01:15:48,348 --> 01:15:49,366 maybe use something like a knife 2384 01:15:49,366 --> 01:15:50,805 or like a (inaudible) or something. 2385 01:15:50,805 --> 01:15:53,148 - I think that would be a little much. 2386 01:15:53,148 --> 01:15:54,945 You know I have to say, 2387 01:15:54,945 --> 01:15:56,385 I'm a little surprised. 2388 01:15:56,385 --> 01:15:57,382 - [Matt] Oh. 2389 01:15:57,382 --> 01:15:58,422 - To see 2390 01:15:58,422 --> 01:15:59,644 a hipster, 2391 01:15:59,644 --> 01:16:00,662 a tool, 2392 01:16:00,662 --> 01:16:01,810 and bros all in the same car. 2393 01:16:01,810 --> 01:16:02,705 I'm a little proud of you guys. 2394 01:16:02,705 --> 01:16:03,702 I am. 2395 01:16:03,702 --> 01:16:04,535 - Tyler] Is it breaking your heart 2396 01:16:04,535 --> 01:16:05,702 that we're ride sharing right now? 2397 01:16:05,702 --> 01:16:07,302 (laughter) 2398 01:16:07,302 --> 01:16:08,330 - Kind of makes you wonder why 2399 01:16:08,330 --> 01:16:09,940 Israel and Palestine can't get along. 2400 01:16:09,940 --> 01:16:11,450 - You know, there's actually more to that. 2401 01:16:11,450 --> 01:16:12,897 - I know. 2402 01:16:12,897 --> 01:16:14,120 - [Tyler] And just like that crystal 2403 01:16:14,120 --> 01:16:16,390 knocked the whole coverup bullshit 2404 01:16:16,390 --> 01:16:17,520 you guys came up with. 2405 01:16:17,520 --> 01:16:18,900 I know a fucking scam 2406 01:16:18,900 --> 01:16:20,170 when you're trying to get that 2407 01:16:20,170 --> 01:16:21,700 window pane insurance money. 2408 01:16:21,700 --> 01:16:22,540 My dad sold them. 2409 01:16:22,540 --> 01:16:23,880 I know that he-- 2410 01:16:23,880 --> 01:16:25,040 - Hey Tyler, 2411 01:16:25,040 --> 01:16:26,410 Crystal knock knock. 2412 01:16:26,410 --> 01:16:27,243 - Who's there? 2413 01:16:27,243 --> 01:16:28,481 - An inside job. 2414 01:16:28,481 --> 01:16:29,590 (laughter) 2415 01:16:29,590 --> 01:16:31,985 - And six million less Jews. 2416 01:16:31,985 --> 01:16:35,560 - You guys have not changed one bit. 2417 01:16:35,560 --> 01:16:36,490 - Why did you come back. 2418 01:16:36,490 --> 01:16:37,970 You were with your bubby you said. 2419 01:16:37,970 --> 01:16:39,650 And you were gonna work for your uncle. 2420 01:16:39,650 --> 01:16:40,760 - Well, 2421 01:16:40,760 --> 01:16:42,081 it ended up not working out. 2422 01:16:42,081 --> 01:16:43,900 - Is it bubby or booby? 2423 01:16:43,900 --> 01:16:44,900 - I'm not as good with the money 2424 01:16:44,900 --> 01:16:46,582 as I thought I was. 2425 01:16:46,582 --> 01:16:47,585 (laughter) 2426 01:16:47,585 --> 01:16:48,582 - That's the first you 2427 01:16:48,582 --> 01:16:49,585 I will ever admit that joke. 2428 01:16:49,585 --> 01:16:50,582 - So you weren't quite making six figures? 2429 01:16:50,582 --> 01:16:52,730 - We won't talk about it. 2430 01:16:52,730 --> 01:16:54,342 - They can't even make six inches. 2431 01:16:54,342 --> 01:16:55,622 (laughter) 2432 01:16:55,622 --> 01:16:56,870 - [Tyler] What are you doing? 2433 01:16:56,870 --> 01:16:58,070 Just rubbing nickles together 2434 01:16:58,070 --> 01:16:59,665 to making our money or what? 2435 01:16:59,665 --> 01:17:02,210 - Oh, I've missed you guys. 2436 01:17:02,210 --> 01:17:03,250 I really have. 2437 01:17:03,250 --> 01:17:04,830 - I just can't believe we found you on the app. 2438 01:17:04,830 --> 01:17:06,260 It was a Christmas miracle. 2439 01:17:06,260 --> 01:17:07,790 Oh sorry, a Hanukkah miracle. 2440 01:17:07,790 --> 01:17:09,265 - Yes. 2441 01:17:09,265 --> 01:17:10,098 - Does Hanukkah have miracles? 2442 01:17:10,098 --> 01:17:10,940 - You can say Christmas. 2443 01:17:10,940 --> 01:17:11,820 I'm not offended. 2444 01:17:11,820 --> 01:17:13,404 - I don't want to offend. 2445 01:17:13,404 --> 01:17:15,010 I just want to be historically accurate. 2446 01:17:15,010 --> 01:17:16,550 - We're not offended that you killed Christ. 2447 01:17:16,550 --> 01:17:19,404 - You know I really love riding with you. 2448 01:17:19,404 --> 01:17:22,053 You give us road scotch. 2449 01:17:22,053 --> 01:17:22,970 - [Tyler] Road scotch. 2450 01:17:22,970 --> 01:17:24,070 - Jesus Christ, 2451 01:17:24,070 --> 01:17:25,120 Glen Levit. 2452 01:17:25,120 --> 01:17:26,620 - At least it's single malt. 2453 01:17:26,620 --> 01:17:27,453 - Yeah. 2454 01:17:27,453 --> 01:17:28,480 - [Tyler] What, were they out of Cutty Sark or what? 2455 01:17:28,480 --> 01:17:29,313 - Hey, you never know when someone's 2456 01:17:29,313 --> 01:17:30,760 gonna stiff you. 2457 01:17:30,760 --> 01:17:32,187 I can't reach for the top shelf. 2458 01:17:32,187 --> 01:17:33,760 - You're like fucking Pauly 2459 01:17:33,760 --> 01:17:35,159 drinking. 2460 01:17:35,159 --> 01:17:35,992 - [Tyler] Even the middle shelf. 2461 01:17:35,992 --> 01:17:37,574 - Like that time Piccolo's had Doers. 2462 01:17:37,574 --> 01:17:39,070 (laughter) 2463 01:17:39,070 --> 01:17:40,280 Jesus. 2464 01:17:40,280 --> 01:17:41,113 - I thought they didn't have Doers. 2465 01:17:41,113 --> 01:17:42,610 I thought they had 2466 01:17:42,610 --> 01:17:43,470 like Lauders. 2467 01:17:43,470 --> 01:17:44,890 - Harold had water that evening. 2468 01:17:44,890 --> 01:17:45,723 - Yeah. 2469 01:17:45,723 --> 01:17:48,032 (rock music) 2470 01:17:56,298 --> 01:17:57,295 - What's your middle name? 2471 01:17:57,295 --> 01:17:58,458 - What's your date of birth? 2472 01:17:58,458 --> 01:17:59,340 - Oh my goodness, 2473 01:17:59,340 --> 01:18:00,959 I do not have time for this, okay. 2474 01:18:00,959 --> 01:18:02,610 I work two jobs, 2475 01:18:02,610 --> 01:18:03,490 got a kid. 2476 01:18:03,490 --> 01:18:04,480 I'm getting crow's feet. 2477 01:18:04,480 --> 01:18:05,898 Okay, I just want to go to the concert. 2478 01:18:05,898 --> 01:18:09,055 - Hmm, well head on in. 2479 01:18:09,055 --> 01:18:10,639 - Sounds good to me. 2480 01:18:10,639 --> 01:18:12,415 - She looks pretty good for 46. 2481 01:18:12,415 --> 01:18:14,216 - 105.7 KOKZ, 2482 01:18:14,216 --> 01:18:15,200 Iowa's classic hits. 2483 01:18:15,200 --> 01:18:16,917 My name is Craig Lowey. 2484 01:18:16,917 --> 01:18:17,750 You know where you need to be tonight. 2485 01:18:17,750 --> 01:18:19,280 You need to be at Spicoli's in Waterloo 2486 01:18:19,280 --> 01:18:21,490 because a fantastic band is coming to town. 2487 01:18:21,490 --> 01:18:23,610 Jimmy Newquist and Caroline's Spine 2488 01:18:23,610 --> 01:18:25,168 are gonna be in town. 2489 01:18:25,168 --> 01:18:26,001 I know these guys for a long time. 2490 01:18:26,001 --> 01:18:27,130 They have the hit song, 2491 01:18:27,130 --> 01:18:28,420 Sullivan, among others. 2492 01:18:28,420 --> 01:18:29,590 We definitely want you to get out 2493 01:18:29,590 --> 01:18:30,440 and support 2494 01:18:30,440 --> 01:18:31,450 not only Spicoli's, 2495 01:18:31,450 --> 01:18:32,827 but Jimmy Newquist and Caroline's Spine. 2496 01:18:32,827 --> 01:18:34,590 If you've never seen them live, 2497 01:18:34,590 --> 01:18:36,170 you are certainly missing out. 2498 01:18:36,170 --> 01:18:37,173 And we want you to experience 2499 01:18:37,173 --> 01:18:39,020 Caroline's Spine tonight, 2500 01:18:39,020 --> 01:18:39,853 Spicoli's in Waterloo. 2501 01:18:39,853 --> 01:18:40,890 Check it out. 2502 01:18:40,890 --> 01:18:42,473 - Erin McCool. 2503 01:18:42,473 --> 01:18:44,400 My life changed. 2504 01:18:44,400 --> 01:18:45,855 How are you? 2505 01:18:45,855 --> 01:18:47,311 - Cool dude. 2506 01:18:47,311 --> 01:18:50,397 - I prefer a handshake. 2507 01:18:54,840 --> 01:18:56,440 - Hey guys, this is James Patrick 2508 01:18:56,440 --> 01:18:57,370 at Rock 108. 2509 01:18:57,370 --> 01:18:59,960 Make sure you get to Spicoli's tonight 2510 01:18:59,960 --> 01:19:01,540 cause for one night only, 2511 01:19:01,540 --> 01:19:02,660 Jimmy Newquist, 2512 01:19:02,660 --> 01:19:03,730 Caroline's Spine 2513 01:19:03,730 --> 01:19:05,290 rocking the hell out of Spicoli's. 2514 01:19:05,290 --> 01:19:07,400 So make sure you're there tonight. 2515 01:19:07,400 --> 01:19:08,233 - [Man] Harry, how's it going? 2516 01:19:08,233 --> 01:19:10,350 - It's be better if you'd call me Harold. 2517 01:19:10,350 --> 01:19:11,183 - I keep forgetting. 2518 01:19:11,183 --> 01:19:12,874 - [Harold] I prefer it. 2519 01:19:12,874 --> 01:19:14,186 - Well Harold, I got something special for you. 2520 01:19:14,186 --> 01:19:15,150 Here's something that you'll actually prefer 2521 01:19:15,150 --> 01:19:16,450 more than our water selection. 2522 01:19:16,450 --> 01:19:17,283 - Or your Doers? 2523 01:19:17,283 --> 01:19:18,217 - Or our Doers. 2524 01:19:19,330 --> 01:19:21,690 Alright, would Harold approve of this? 2525 01:19:21,690 --> 01:19:24,890 - Harold would approve. 2526 01:19:24,890 --> 01:19:25,843 - [Bartender] I'll pour you one up. 2527 01:19:26,751 --> 01:19:28,010 - It's better than Doers. 2528 01:19:28,010 --> 01:19:29,653 - [Bartender] There you are, Harold. 2529 01:19:29,653 --> 01:19:30,693 - You could have done without the ice, but. 2530 01:19:30,693 --> 01:19:32,600 - Hey, welcome back to the show 2531 01:19:32,600 --> 01:19:34,210 on press roll with the sports guy. 2532 01:19:34,210 --> 01:19:35,043 I'm Gary Rime 2533 01:19:35,043 --> 01:19:36,863 along with my in studio producer 2534 01:19:36,863 --> 01:19:38,910 and cohost to the program, 2535 01:19:38,910 --> 01:19:39,930 Chris Gobinacker. 2536 01:19:39,930 --> 01:19:41,960 We affectionately call him 2537 01:19:41,960 --> 01:19:43,730 the sports stud. 2538 01:19:43,730 --> 01:19:44,890 Hey sports stud, 2539 01:19:44,890 --> 01:19:46,420 I got a memo here. 2540 01:19:46,420 --> 01:19:47,530 Caroline's Spine 2541 01:19:47,530 --> 01:19:49,550 is playing in Waterloo at Spicoli's 2542 01:19:49,550 --> 01:19:51,990 on University Avenue tonight. 2543 01:19:51,990 --> 01:19:53,980 Hey wasn't there a Caroline Spine 2544 01:19:53,980 --> 01:19:56,426 that was a great American figure skater? 2545 01:19:56,426 --> 01:19:58,080 - You're close, Sports Guy. 2546 01:19:58,080 --> 01:19:58,953 Caroline Zont, 2547 01:20:00,543 --> 01:20:02,085 and she is a great American figure skater 2548 01:20:02,085 --> 01:20:04,340 that is a three time champion figure skater. 2549 01:20:04,340 --> 01:20:05,320 - Awesome. 2550 01:20:05,320 --> 01:20:06,350 Hey Sports Stud, 2551 01:20:06,350 --> 01:20:07,530 you know there's a 2552 01:20:07,530 --> 01:20:10,122 two time champion right here from Waterloo, 2553 01:20:10,122 --> 01:20:12,670 the Cedar Valley court kings, 2554 01:20:12,670 --> 01:20:14,420 our minor league basketball team. 2555 01:20:14,420 --> 01:20:15,380 - You're right Sports Guy, 2556 01:20:15,380 --> 01:20:18,303 back to back Midwest league basketball champions. 2557 01:20:18,303 --> 01:20:20,620 - Not to mention out own champions 2558 01:20:20,620 --> 01:20:21,550 on the ice, 2559 01:20:21,550 --> 01:20:22,750 on their skates, 2560 01:20:22,750 --> 01:20:25,160 the Waterloo Blackhawks Hockey Team 2561 01:20:25,160 --> 01:20:26,906 Anderson Cup Champions. 2562 01:20:26,906 --> 01:20:29,000 - It's impressive stuff. 2563 01:20:29,000 --> 01:20:30,340 - Oh, baby. 2564 01:20:30,340 --> 01:20:32,506 I love these teams. 2565 01:20:32,506 --> 01:20:34,543 - What's going on boys? 2566 01:20:34,543 --> 01:20:35,543 - What's up? 2567 01:20:42,350 --> 01:20:44,490 - Drink it you pig. 2568 01:20:44,490 --> 01:20:45,663 - Yeah. 2569 01:20:47,722 --> 01:20:49,359 - It's a good night. 2570 01:20:49,359 --> 01:20:50,703 Wow man, nice penises boys. 2571 01:20:50,703 --> 01:20:52,320 You especially. 2572 01:20:52,320 --> 01:20:53,459 Shit man. 2573 01:20:53,459 --> 01:20:55,210 - Dude, 2574 01:20:55,210 --> 01:20:56,410 no homo man. 2575 01:20:56,410 --> 01:20:57,243 - What do you mean? 2576 01:20:57,243 --> 01:20:59,242 No, there's nothing gay about that. 2577 01:20:59,242 --> 01:21:01,080 It's just me applauding another man's gift. 2578 01:21:01,080 --> 01:21:03,833 God clearly has blessed this young man. 2579 01:21:08,490 --> 01:21:10,059 - You're buying drinks, right? 2580 01:21:10,059 --> 01:21:12,506 (laughter) 2581 01:21:12,506 --> 01:21:13,453 - I'll put them on your tab. 2582 01:21:14,367 --> 01:21:15,365 Easy boys. 2583 01:21:15,365 --> 01:21:16,580 - See you. 2584 01:21:16,580 --> 01:21:18,961 - This is a song that introduced me to you guys. 2585 01:21:18,961 --> 01:21:21,378 (rock music) 2586 01:21:47,685 --> 01:21:50,309 ♪ It's not hard to reach back into a day ♪ 2587 01:21:50,309 --> 01:21:52,965 ♪ Underneath that Iowa sun ♪ 2588 01:21:52,965 --> 01:21:55,706 ♪ Running to the tower of Waterloo ♪ 2589 01:21:55,706 --> 01:21:58,924 ♪ Looking for the Sullivan's train to come ♪ 2590 01:21:58,924 --> 01:22:01,365 ♪ And his five boys would run to the top ♪ 2591 01:22:01,365 --> 01:22:03,829 ♪ And salute him as he went by ♪ 2592 01:22:03,829 --> 01:22:06,207 ♪ First we'd wave hello ♪ 2593 01:22:06,207 --> 01:22:09,567 ♪ Then we'd wave goodbye ♪ 2594 01:22:09,567 --> 01:22:11,466 ♪ Goodbye ♪ 2595 01:22:11,466 --> 01:22:13,883 (rock music) 2596 01:22:20,885 --> 01:22:23,349 ♪ It's not hard to reach back to the days ♪ 2597 01:22:23,349 --> 01:22:26,367 ♪ After the attack on Pearl ♪ 2598 01:22:26,367 --> 01:22:28,767 ♪ Overnight my buddies turned into men ♪ 2599 01:22:28,767 --> 01:22:31,543 ♪ Running out of time for games and girls ♪ 2600 01:22:31,543 --> 01:22:33,807 ♪ And the Sullivan boys were not overlooked ♪ 2601 01:22:33,807 --> 01:22:37,509 ♪ Uncle Sam calling each by name ♪ 2602 01:22:37,509 --> 01:22:42,509 ♪ The very next day they left on a mystery train ♪ 2603 01:22:42,805 --> 01:22:47,805 ♪ Say goodbye, bye, bye, Mrs. Sullivan ♪ 2604 01:22:47,984 --> 01:22:52,984 ♪ And don't you cry, cry, cry, cry, cry ♪ 2605 01:22:54,245 --> 01:22:56,186 ♪ We regret to inform you ♪ 2606 01:22:56,186 --> 01:22:58,965 ♪ The Navy has taking your sons away ♪ 2607 01:22:58,965 --> 01:23:03,965 ♪ All five, five, five, five ♪ 2608 01:23:03,967 --> 01:23:08,965 ♪ So put your blue stars in the window ♪ 2609 01:23:08,965 --> 01:23:11,065 ♪ Your window ♪ 2610 01:23:11,065 --> 01:23:13,482 (rock music) 2611 01:23:16,405 --> 01:23:19,066 ♪ It's not hard to reach back to her smile ♪ 2612 01:23:19,066 --> 01:23:21,765 ♪ When she'd receive a letter ♪ 2613 01:23:21,765 --> 01:23:24,629 ♪ And the letters they sounded generally the same ♪ 2614 01:23:24,629 --> 01:23:26,127 ♪ Said if they couldn't be home ♪ 2615 01:23:26,127 --> 01:23:27,668 ♪ At least they were together ♪ 2616 01:23:27,668 --> 01:23:30,085 ♪ On a mighty fighting battleship ♪ 2617 01:23:30,085 --> 01:23:32,906 ♪ Somewhere in the South Pacific ♪ 2618 01:23:32,906 --> 01:23:37,906 ♪ The letters never got much more specific ♪ 2619 01:23:38,367 --> 01:23:43,367 ♪ Say goodbye, bye, bye, Mrs. Sullivan ♪ 2620 01:23:43,567 --> 01:23:48,567 ♪ And don't you cry, cry, cry, cry, cry ♪ 2621 01:23:49,464 --> 01:23:51,925 ♪ We regret to inform you ♪ 2622 01:23:51,925 --> 01:23:54,826 ♪ The Navy is keeping your sons away ♪ 2623 01:23:54,826 --> 01:23:59,525 ♪ All five, five, five, five ♪ 2624 01:23:59,525 --> 01:24:04,192 ♪ So keep your blue stars in the window ♪ 2625 01:24:13,386 --> 01:24:14,219 John, can you bring the lights down a little bit? 2626 01:24:14,219 --> 01:24:16,200 Jut bring them on down a bit? 2627 01:24:59,103 --> 01:25:01,722 ♪ It's not hard to reach back to the day ♪ 2628 01:25:01,722 --> 01:25:04,885 ♪ When the war finally came home ♪ 2629 01:25:04,885 --> 01:25:07,466 ♪ Uncle Sam, he'll send you a telegram ♪ 2630 01:25:07,466 --> 01:25:11,855 ♪ So he doesn't have to tell you over the phone ♪ 2631 01:25:11,855 --> 01:25:13,663 ♪ I heard she cracked up ♪ 2632 01:25:13,663 --> 01:25:16,805 ♪ When they found out what the war could cost ♪ 2633 01:25:16,805 --> 01:25:19,525 ♪ When all five of her boys ♪ 2634 01:25:19,525 --> 01:25:22,346 ♪ Were lost ♪ 2635 01:25:22,346 --> 01:25:25,082 ♪ They were ♪ 2636 01:25:25,082 --> 01:25:27,602 ♪ They were ♪ 2637 01:25:27,602 --> 01:25:30,383 ♪ They were ♪ 2638 01:25:30,383 --> 01:25:35,383 ♪ Say goodbye, bye, bye, Mrs. Sullivan ♪ 2639 01:25:36,106 --> 01:25:38,042 ♪ Go ahead and cry ♪ 2640 01:25:38,042 --> 01:25:42,746 ♪ Go ahead and cry ♪ 2641 01:25:42,746 --> 01:25:44,502 ♪ We regret to inform you ♪ 2642 01:25:44,502 --> 01:25:47,420 ♪ That all your sons have passed away ♪ 2643 01:25:47,420 --> 01:25:51,866 ♪ All five, five, five, five ♪ 2644 01:25:51,866 --> 01:25:55,478 ♪ So change your blue star to gold ♪ 2645 01:25:55,478 --> 01:25:58,383 ♪ Blue star to gold ♪ 2646 01:25:58,383 --> 01:26:02,643 ♪ Blue star to gold ♪ 2647 01:26:02,643 --> 01:26:03,642 ♪ Come on mommy ♪ 2648 01:26:03,642 --> 01:26:05,343 ♪ Change them to gold ♪ 2649 01:26:05,343 --> 01:26:07,760 (rock music) 2650 01:26:18,842 --> 01:26:22,009 (cheers and applause) 2651 01:26:23,194 --> 01:26:25,611 (rock music) 2652 01:26:48,890 --> 01:26:52,057 (cheers and applause) 2653 01:26:57,653 --> 01:26:58,860 - [Matt] This is how it usually goes 2654 01:26:58,860 --> 01:27:00,430 in about every town. 2655 01:27:00,430 --> 01:27:01,620 People grow up. 2656 01:27:01,620 --> 01:27:02,920 They get married. 2657 01:27:02,920 --> 01:27:03,753 They have kids. 2658 01:27:03,753 --> 01:27:05,280 They move on. 2659 01:27:05,280 --> 01:27:07,510 The good times are cherished and remembered. 2660 01:27:07,510 --> 01:27:10,133 When you see the wold guy at the bar by himself, 2661 01:27:10,133 --> 01:27:11,434 drinking, 2662 01:27:11,434 --> 01:27:14,133 he was a bro one day too. 2663 01:27:14,133 --> 01:27:17,300 There are five Sullivan Bros 2664 01:27:17,300 --> 01:27:18,560 from this town 2665 01:27:18,560 --> 01:27:20,740 that would have loved to have been back here. 2666 01:27:20,740 --> 01:27:23,513 I try to remind myself of that as much as possible. 2667 01:27:25,480 --> 01:27:27,232 - [Corey Ford] Hey, it's Corey Ford with KFUK radio. 2668 01:27:27,232 --> 01:27:29,320 Okay, fuck Cedar Falls. 2669 01:27:29,320 --> 01:27:31,010 It's gonna be a great day in Iowa. 2670 01:27:31,010 --> 01:27:33,000 It's gonna be a great day in the Cedar Valley. 2671 01:27:33,000 --> 01:27:33,910 Our future 2672 01:27:33,910 --> 01:27:35,060 is bright. 2673 01:27:35,060 --> 01:27:37,050 And for the very last time, 2674 01:27:37,050 --> 01:27:40,923 this one goes out to the bros. 2675 01:27:43,493 --> 01:27:45,910 (rock music) 2676 01:27:54,032 --> 01:27:55,850 ♪ They hate you for the reason ♪ 2677 01:27:55,850 --> 01:27:58,330 ♪ Found out all your faults ♪ 2678 01:27:58,330 --> 01:27:59,849 ♪ They hid behind ♪ 2679 01:27:59,849 --> 01:28:04,032 ♪ Picture perfect lies ♪ 2680 01:28:04,032 --> 01:28:06,271 ♪ They found you in the corner ♪ 2681 01:28:06,271 --> 01:28:08,890 ♪ Dusting for fingerprints ♪ 2682 01:28:08,890 --> 01:28:10,314 ♪ From pages painted pretty ♪ 2683 01:28:10,314 --> 01:28:14,632 ♪ Pictures of your sins ♪ 2684 01:28:14,632 --> 01:28:17,210 ♪ Give me ig-ig-ignorance ♪ 2685 01:28:17,210 --> 01:28:19,973 ♪ Give what you can give ♪ 2686 01:28:19,973 --> 01:28:21,210 ♪ Ig-Ig-Ignorance ♪ 2687 01:28:21,210 --> 01:28:23,674 ♪ Hit them with ♪ 2688 01:28:23,674 --> 01:28:24,832 ♪ What they give ♪ 2689 01:28:24,832 --> 01:28:27,994 ♪ Alright now ♪ 2690 01:28:27,994 --> 01:28:30,411 (rock music) 2691 01:28:46,170 --> 01:28:48,272 ♪ Put it on-on-on the table ♪ 2692 01:28:48,272 --> 01:28:50,874 ♪ Watch for shifting eyes ♪ 2693 01:28:50,874 --> 01:28:52,233 ♪ Serving cold revenge ♪ 2694 01:28:52,233 --> 01:28:56,290 ♪ With a side of spite ♪ 2695 01:28:56,290 --> 01:28:58,872 ♪ But satisfaction don't come easy ♪ 2696 01:28:58,872 --> 01:29:01,472 ♪ But to take it all with ease ♪ 2697 01:29:01,472 --> 01:29:03,009 ♪ Well I guess them guests ♪ 2698 01:29:03,009 --> 01:29:06,853 ♪ All just better leave ♪ 2699 01:29:06,853 --> 01:29:09,365 ♪ Give me ig-ig-ignorance ♪ 2700 01:29:09,365 --> 01:29:12,213 ♪ Give what you can give ♪ 2701 01:29:12,213 --> 01:29:14,472 ♪ Ig-Ig-Ignorance ♪ 2702 01:29:14,472 --> 01:29:16,032 ♪ Hit them with ♪ 2703 01:29:16,032 --> 01:29:17,228 ♪ What they give ♪ 2704 01:29:17,228 --> 01:29:19,872 ♪ Alright now ♪ 2705 01:29:19,872 --> 01:29:22,289 (rock music) 2706 01:29:39,013 --> 01:29:40,890 ♪ Ignorance ♪ 2707 01:29:40,890 --> 01:29:43,632 ♪ Give what you can give ♪ 2708 01:29:43,632 --> 01:29:45,834 ♪ Ignorance ♪ 2709 01:29:45,834 --> 01:29:47,593 ♪ Hit them with ♪ 2710 01:29:47,593 --> 01:29:48,693 ♪ What they give ♪ 2711 01:29:48,693 --> 01:29:51,034 ♪ Ignorance ♪ 2712 01:29:51,034 --> 01:29:53,890 ♪ Give what you can give ♪ 2713 01:29:53,890 --> 01:29:56,232 ♪ Ignorance ♪ 2714 01:29:56,232 --> 01:29:57,813 ♪ Hit them with ♪ 2715 01:29:57,813 --> 01:29:59,072 ♪ What they give ♪ 2716 01:29:59,072 --> 01:30:01,770 ♪ Give them ignorance ♪ 2717 01:30:01,770 --> 01:30:03,434 ♪ Give what you can give ♪ 2718 01:30:03,434 --> 01:30:07,114 ♪ Ignorance ♪ 2719 01:30:07,114 --> 01:30:08,290 ♪ Hit them with ♪ 2720 01:30:08,290 --> 01:30:09,526 ♪ What they give ♪ 2721 01:30:09,526 --> 01:30:12,634 ♪ Give them ignorance ♪ 2722 01:30:12,634 --> 01:30:14,874 ♪ Give what you can give ♪ 2723 01:30:14,874 --> 01:30:17,573 ♪ Ignorance ♪ 2724 01:30:17,573 --> 01:30:21,573 ♪ Hit them with ♪ 2725 01:30:21,573 --> 01:30:24,323 ♪ What they give ♪ 2726 01:30:26,474 --> 01:30:28,891 (rock music) 165834

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