All language subtitles for 3666688

- Synced and corrected by Firefly -
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America Goes Poddy is sponsored

by the online hiring site,
Double Duty Hiring.

So, Bill, what's on tap

for America Goes Poddy this week?

More lies from "Individual #1"

Uh, no, it's a positive story, actually.

Democrats are suddenly doing well.

And the question being asked
by all my bro friends is,

"Who is cutting into Trump's base?"

You're talking about the taking down

- of the Republican troll farms?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But also the doxing of the Red Jackets

when they tried some
uncool voter intimidation.

And the country singer, Sabrina Wynne,

she finally comes out against Trump.

So who are the badasses doing this?

You know, you know what?
L-Let's not find out.

Let's just ask these
brahs to keep it going.

Because that's what we always said

when we worked at the Obama White House:

don't get in the way
of someone kicking ass.

So, go for the jugular, guys.

Okay. We're taking America Goes Poddy...

♪ We shall overcome ♪

♪ We shall overcome ♪

♪ Someday. ♪

Oh.

Diane. You heard America
Goes Poddy this morning?

Yes. Amazing.

We thought we'd christen
our new bat cave.

Yeah. We're kicking ass.

There's a story in Huffington Post, too.

"The new progressive activists."

Whoa. We're like folk heroes.

Everybody's wondering who we are.

So... wow... what next?
What do we do now?

- We have to top it.
- Oh. With what?

A slam dunk. We go
after his personal life.

I can prove Trump fucks men.

How are you gonna do that?

No, go after Melania.

In what way?

Find out what she knows.

I'll see if I can hack her e-mail.

Good. And I suggest we name ourselves.

I'm sick of just calling us
"The Resistance."

How about what I tell my
assistant about this group?

- What?
- It's my book club.

Oh. "The Book Club."

- I like it.
- Yeah.

- Book Club. Who would suspect?
- All right, to the Book Club.

- What is that all about?
- Second Helix.

Oh, right. That's gotta
take a month to get through.

You may want to join
the argument down the hall.

But it's Roland Blum.

It's $4 million

for a few months' work.

He was here a few days,

and he stole a client list.

Are we really already back to this?

I mean, we already agreed
to Second Helix's terms.

They insisted we work together.

But does that mean he has to work here?

As opposed to where?

Well, we could work
at Blum's place of business.

He doesn't have a place of business.

Well, then, we could rent a space.

Find a place that's neutral.

The problem is having
him here, in our building.

Marissa is watching him, Diane.

And the man is not a wizard.

I mean, what can he do
if we're watching him

from the moment he arrives
to the moment he leaves?

This is a mistake.

Liz, what's your take?

Stop talking about him.

I mean, this is our,
what, our third meeting

dedicated to him?

Blum lives on attention, so starve him.

Don't give him the oxygen.

Don't forget, tell 'em I want Anya.

Keep the car running,
I may need it for lunch.

Okay, I need a number.

That's the fee, the perks
package, and your end.

Well, figure it out and get back to me.

Jesus, more boxes?

Hey, what was your name again?

Are you talking to me?

Want to run out, get us some fries?

Sure.

You're Eli Gold's daughter, right?

Yeah, I knew your mother.

Vanessa.

Hell of a fuck.

What do they say about Jewish women?

Lying there like a lox?

Not her.

She knew more tricks than
a monkey on a flagpole.

So, you're my dad.
Is that what you're saying?

Can I have some money?

Don't tell me. Shtetl roots.
Temple Shalom.

Camp in Oconomowoc.

Did Aliyah at 21, fell for an
Israeli in the special forces.

Good thing you met Roy Cohn,
or you'd be what, a dentist?

Must have been tricky when
he broke you in like a stallion.

What do they say about Nancy
Reagan and a trailer hitch?

Your mother could beat her.
Suck the chrome right off.

There was this one time, at the Tunnel.

Your mom was doing shots
of tequila with this hand...

♪ One singular sensation ♪

♪ Every little step she takes... ♪

What are you doing?

♪ One thrilling combination ♪

♪ Every move that she makes... ♪

This is like those convenience stores

playing classical music
to get rid of the kids?

♪ One smile and suddenly ♪

♪ Nobody else will do... ♪

Oh, dear fucking God.

♪ You know you'll never be lonely... ♪

♪ And you can forget the rest ♪

♪ For the guy is second-best ♪

♪ To none ♪

♪ Son ♪

♪ Ooh! Sigh! Give him your attention ♪

You want to watch me crap?

♪ Do I. ♪

Of course he had to be Jewish.

The beard, the greed, the deceit.

I can hear Grandma Sylvia say,

"He's bad for the Jews."

He's everything wrong
with the diaspora wrapped in one.

A dybbuk practicing law.

I should probably kill him.

Oh, God, I almost kind
of like him a little bit.

He makes me laugh.

What's that Dylan song?

"Sometimes Satan comes
as a man of peace"?

Sometimes Satan just comes
with a whoopee cushion.

So never laugh.

Show him your laugh, and you're dead.

No matter what he does,
just give him that look.

What look?

This look.

Did you wash your hands?

So, can I get you anything?

Some coffee, mister...

Wade V. Uh, no, lovey.

I'm all about the juices right now.

Oh.

So, um, you said
this is not about a divorce,

- it's for a postnup?
- Yes.

And how long have you been married?

Oh...

No, it's-it's not about me.

But thanks for thinking
I give off the marriage vibe.

Your haircut is 97% perfect.

Oh.

It accentuates your
cheekbones just right.

But do ask your stylist
about a razor on top.

It wants volume here and here,

and also over here.

And use the five-inch scissors,
not the five and a half.

Sorry, what were you saying?

Uh, you're not here for yourself?

No, uh, for a friend. A client.

Friend. She's a star. A major star.

You probably know who she is,

but I can't say her name,
and she can't be seen

going in and out of lawyers' offices.

So I'm just screening
for her a little bit.

Uh, would you give me a second?

Of course.

Uh, he's a hairdresser. Wade V.

It's a postnup for a star client.

Got it.

So...

this star...

I can't help her if
I don't know her name.

But whatever we say here is
completely confidential.

No. But she's prepared
to pay you triple your rate.

And she also gets to set the rules.

Huh.

Yeah?

Kardashian.

Which one?

Kim.

Adrian, you may want
to stay on top of this.

Why, what is it?

Lucca with a new client.

A divorce? Does it matter?

Kim and Kanye.

So, how would you like this to work?

Oh.

Do you want me to...

You're on with Lucca Quinn in Chicago.

Good morning.

Thanks for your interest in Reddick,
Boseman and Lockhart... ma'am.

Uh, the question is
about unconscionability,

I'm assuming
in the context of a postnup.

Well, there is no standard criteria,

but if you can prove lack of choice,

or lack of knowledge
at the time of the postnup...

for example, if one of the parties
misrepresented their fortune...

then you have a very good shot.

That's your answer?

Yes.

Anything else? We're good?

Okay, I'll ask her.

She wants to know are you free today
at noon for a meeting?

In person?

Yeah.

Ye-Yeah. I-I-I could move...
I can move a few things.

Okay, don't make a big deal out of it.

You know, there's
a very short list of women

who could pull off that cut.

Good job.

Kim and Kanye.

I'm not sure.

She didn't speak on the phone,

but she's coming in at noon.

Are you fucking kidding me?

I know.

I know. That's a $300 million divorce.

500 million. I googled it.

Okay, so we line up all the lawyers...

No, no, I... I think
I should do this alone.

Lucca, this is a really big deal.

I know, and you need to trust me.

She's skittish. She wants this private.

Small. And she wants
someone she can trust.

If she didn't talk on the phone,

how do you know that?

The vibe.

Adrian, trust me.

Jesus Christ.

So you called upstairs as soon as
you found out it was a Kardashian?

Yes.

And if I'd asked you
not to call upstairs?

I would have agreed,
and then called upstairs.

Hmm. As long as we know where we stand.

Blum, we need to talk.

Uh, privately.

Hey, kids, fuck off.

Just for a minute.

So, look at all that.

Yeah. How far are we?

Well, requires more than a cursory read.

Uh-huh.

Anyway, Roland, I'm gonna
need you to rein it in.

Well, have I been... un-reined?

It's all the personnel, Roland.

Oh. Well, tell me, uh,
how many is too many?

You can have one assistant,

no masseuse

and no outside meetings here.

You can arrange your
meetings somewhere else.

Hmm. No problemo.

Good.

Vernon was hoping to meet you

but, uh, another time.

Uh, Vernon?

Jordan, yeah.

Oh, we go way back.

Uh-huh.

Oh.

He has a meeting today at 2:00,

he can take it in the upstairs
boardroom, that's it.

♪ Way back in the middle... ♪

♪ I began to ride ♪

♪ Keep listening... ♪

How do you rent those?

Uh, you don't. These are mine.

Where did you, uh, buy them?

How long have you been throwing?

A month.

Do you want to get serious?

Actually, I do.

Ask for Hannah.

What are you doing?

Nothing.

- Working.
- In reception?

Yes. We were just...

trying to use all the spaces.

Okay. Get out of here. Come on.

Go. Now.

Embarrassing.

You guys. Are you sure
you don't need help?

No, it's fine, Kevin.
Thank you. Good-bye, Kevin.

Oh, hey.

That's why we don't share information.

- I didn't share with anyone but Adrian.
- It doesn't matter.

It gets out, it always gets out.

Lucca Quinn.

- Yes?
- That's her.

The haircut. Mr. V.

I like the way that sounds.

This is Zelda Raye.

The noon appointment.

Yes. Is there somewhere
we can talk, Ms. Quinn?

We're good, you guys.

Who is that?

The client.

Yeah, it looks like we got ahead
of ourselves on the Kardashian front.

Come in.

This is her office?

Oh, God, you are a snob.

I'm not a snob, it's
just this is a big case.

That's why she needs
someone he doesn't know.

Do you want me to step out?

- No.
- Yes.

Wait.

They should have
the conversation at least.

She's the only one who
answered the question well.

Are you the one with the postnup, Zelda?

My client would like
to speak to you directly.

Hello?

Is anyone there?

Hello?

This is Lucca Quinn.

May I help you?

I have to ask something sensitive.

Nothing of this can be repeated.

Of course.

Well, you don't need
to worry about that,

attorney-client privilege prevails here.

You promise?

I do... promise.

Okay.

My husband is a very important man.

And he is very bitter.

He has ways to find out things

and to hurt me.

He also has a team of lawyers.

I need someone who is on my side.

Someone who can tell me how to respond.

Do you understand?

I do.

Shall we talk?

♪ Melania came with
her name and a dream ♪

♪ Maybe, I mean, what do I know? ♪

♪ First Ellis Island ♪

♪ And then quarantine ♪

♪ Smallpox, perhaps impetigo ♪

♪ Teeming Sloveniatown,
near Little Rome ♪

♪ Poles and Italians and Irish ♪

♪ Some kind of stewed meat
that tasted like home ♪

♪ Lonely but stylish, she'd sigh ♪

♪ And say "I wish that I ♪

♪ Lived in a castle
somewhere in the sky ♪

♪ With someone who'd
always take care of me ♪

♪ Why is it so hard
to get there from here?" ♪

♪ Maybe she struggled
and toiled and tried ♪

♪ Hard work and determination ♪

♪ One day she woke ♪

♪ With a man by her side ♪

♪ Finally she rose to her station ♪

♪ Now that she be's the best ♪

♪ That she can be ♪

♪ Does she recall her beginning? ♪

♪ Poor, huddled masses ♪

♪ That yearn to breathe free ♪

♪ Does she feel tired of winning ♪

♪ Does she feel tired? ♪

So. First things first.

Why don't you tell me
a little bit about this postnup?

Hello?

Are you still there?

The new postnup, it says

I must stay married for...

more years, or I will get nothing.

I see.

How many more years?

I must stay until December 2020.

Okay, 2020.

And you might want a divorce earlier,

is that it?

I-I don't know.

I... I want options.

There is a lot of pressure.

And that's why you asked
about unconscionability?

Whether the postnup can be terminated?

Yes. And there are
possible criminal issues.

I don't want to be in trouble for...

some things he did.

Well, without discussing the exact
details of these criminal "issues,"

a postnup shouldn't impact this.

But he has given me some gifts

where there might be some questions.

Are these "gifts" titles
to properties? Did he...

transfer them to you?

I don't want to answer that.

Okay, got it.

Completely.

Zelda, are you there?

You want me to put it on speaker?

Yes.

I'm here.

I like her.

Give her the document and let her look.

Then we must talk.

Of course, whatever you wish.

This is all the background you'll need.

Take a look and we'll be in touch.

Uh, does the...

president know that his
wife is consulting a lawyer?

It's a mistake to conclude
that from this conversation.

I can't be an effective lawyer

without knowing these... details.

She doesn't trust you fully yet.

Gain her trust and then we'll talk.

Help her. She's in over her head.

- What the f...
- _

_

- So who's the... ?
- _

Who's the client?

I'm not sure.

Why are there...
redactions in their postnup?

I don't know if this is
a prank or if this is for real.

What is real?

That was a hairdresser.

And a woman named Zelda Raye.

And they supposedly put
me on the phone with...

The First Lady.

You're being punked.

I thought so, too, but...

this is a lot of work for a prank.

Can you do some digging into Zelda Raye?

Can't you just walk beside me?

It looks like you're guarding me.

Okay. Leave me now.

I'm having the lunch.

Lemond.

Mr. Blum.

Mister? What'd I do to rate a Mister?

You embarrassed a district attorney

in the Antonelli trial,
that's what you did.

I kept that motherfucker
out of prison four times

he stiffed me the last two.

I told him, if he ever called me again,

I would personally make
sure they locked him up

- under the jail, yeah.
- Sounds about right.

You know he was trying to peddle
your ass to the Feds, right?

Oh, I know, I know.

Hey, this is the guy who's
looking out for me right now.

So... we're here.

It's just the three of us.

What's so secret?

I asked Jay to look into a new client
I was on the phone with.

- Is this still about the Kardashians?
- No.

Lucca was worried it was a prank,

but I did some research
on the client's conduit.

It's a Wade V...
a New York hairdresser...

and Zelda Raye.

A conduit? I don't understand.

The client doesn't want to be
seen coming into a law firm.

Why?

Zelda Ray runs a management
company in New York.

Uh, not one of the big ones.

Oh, so the client is a model.

She was one. She is no longer.

Why are you two being so cagey?

I think I was put on the phone
with Melania Trump.

What...

Are you suggesting that Melania Trump...

wants to use her manager
from her modeling days?

We're not suggesting
anything, it's just a fact.

Zelda Raye is her ex-manager,

or she was for a few months,
and she was in here.

Why would she use a hairdresser

and her ex-manager?
I mean, she has a staff.

Her husband told her
she didn't need a lawyer

to review the changes in their postnup.

Her husband. Meaning Trump.

I-I don't know.

But, if it is Trump,
I think she went outside

his D.C. circle to get a second opinion.

An opinion from
a mid-size Chicago law firm

with mainly African-American lawyers?

Yeah.

Or we're being set up.

For?

Uh, what is, um, what
is in this postnup?

She loses all her money if
they divorce before 2020.

She wants to divorce before 2020?

She wants the freedom to divorce.

Holy fuck.

When do you speak with her again?

Tomorrow.

All right. Keep us informed.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

- Does this seem weird to you?
- What?

The fact that we were
talking about Melania Trump

- this morning and now she wants to hire us?
- Yes.

I mean, the various levels
of weirdness here are...

really hard to untangle.

So, we're saying...

someone is surveilling
our resistance group?

- Book group.
- Book group.

And now they want to dangle some...

irresistible bait in front of us?

Uh, y-yeah.

To what purpose?

I, I don't know.

But we better be careful.

Maybe it's... maybe it's good news.

And we're just not used to it.

Oh, yeah, how likely is that?

I don't know, I'm just,

I'm just so in the mood for...

looking up.

Ooh.

_

- Oh, well, that ended fast.
- _

Hey, Lemond

Good to see you.

- Sorry to keep you waiting, man.
- Oh, I wasn't waiting.

I was catching up.

Uh, you two know each other?

Mm. From way back.

Yeah, we used to run into each other

at opium tastings
at the Jewish Community Center.

Very good.

So I know that,

uh, Lemond wants to talk some
business with us, Mr. Blum.

So why don't we just go upstairs?

Oh, actually, I was hoping
Roland could stick around.

Uh, that might cause a problem

if there are any attorney-client issues.

Oh. I thought he was working here.

No, he is. But it's
just on the one case,

and it's not criminal, so...

Well, this isn't criminal.

Oh, I have been known
to blunder onto a good idea now and then.

You know, you're better off
incorporating in Delaware.

I'd just as soon not have another state

full of agencies to pay off.

Ah, you do give a shitload of money

to so-called "good causes."

"So-called" like, uh, the Johns Hopkins

Malaria Research Institute,
uh, Habitat for Humanity... ?

I'm always suspicious when
liberals use the word humanity.

You gave $200,000 to Georgetown?

Yeah, my son has his
heart set on going there.

How's it look?

They wait-listed him.

$200,000, and they
fucking wait-listed him?

Are you kidding me?

Apparently, a lot of applicants
give that much more.

So what's the moral of this story?

200,000 doesn't mean what it used to?

No, before you put your
hand in your pocket,

you talk to your lawyers.

I mean, correct me if I'm wrong, Adrian,

but this is a phone call, is it not?

Getting my son into Georgetown?

Well, I mean, we can definitely
put our heads together...

They're being modest.
One phone call, and it's done.

I always said you needed a hammer.

And there he is.

Your hammer.

Yep, there he is.

Why would you tell Lemond

that we could get his
son into Georgetown?

Uh, because we can?

What is with this "we" bullshit?

There is no "we" here.

Uh, the "we bullshit," dearest Diane,

is a nod to my very generous nature.

Are you medicated right now?

No. I forget. Look,

even though it'll be me who
calls Father Pat to remind him

who kept his nephew out of prison,

it'll benefit us.

Hi.

I was told to ask for Hannah?

Hi.

Oh.

Hello.

So you're here to go to the next level?

Well, I'm here to see what
the next level looks like.

Uh, here's the thing about axes:

once you start buying them,
you'll never stop.

Like fine wine.

This is what I suggest.

Oh, well, that's probably
more than I, uh...

Oh, my God.

Those are beautiful.

This is a Morvan Q-P.

Morvan has been making
axes in Prussia since 1646.

They're hand-forged, they've
got a clear tempered zone

that adds to the strength of the blade.

Go ahead, lift one.

Oh, wow... My.

Whoa, that feels good.

Oh, my.

It's solid steel with a rubber grip,

uh, to ensure a smooth toss,

and it's got a double-bit head,

allowing you to swap
sides between throws.

I, um... I want them.

So, hi.

How did you get my address?

How do you think?

Better answer it.

This is Lucca.

Did you look at the contract?

I did.

Uh, it's not good.

He has all the rights, you have none.

Look, we can talk
about specific language,

but if you were any other
client, I would advise...

you threaten your husband with divorce.

I know it's a big play, but,

you know, the only reason
he's pushing for this is because

he's the vulnerable one, not you.

So, you know, threaten him
with divorce, call his bluff,

and you'll get a better deal.

Hello?

I should go.

No, wait. There-there's
always a way to fight it.

This was a mistake.

Wait, no, uh...

You're Catholic, right?

Why? Why does that matter?

Annulment.

You threaten annulment.

That wouldn't just void the marriage,

that would void the prenup, too.

Any non-disclosure agreements
in the original contract,

they-they would cease to exist.

Which means you could speak freely.

You know, you could write a book,

hit the talk show circuits,
whatever you want.

I'll call you back.

And we're back.
Today, on America Goes Poddy,

you know who we have on the phone?

- Who?
- Melania.

Melania, a-are you there?

Yes, Bill, I am here.

Oh, do you mind to wait, so
I can get the cheeseburgers

- out of my bed?
- Yeah.

I'm sorry, uh, Mrs. First Lady,

I-I was not aware that
you still slept with each other.

Oh, yes. He comes into my room

to check on spelling for his tweets.

- Uh-oh.
- "Oh, my God," I say,

"that's not how you spell 'hamburgers'."

Is that her?

Who, my Melania? No.

No. No, that's an imitator.

- But does it sound like her?
- Yeah.

But it's a highly identifiable voice.

People know how to imitate it.

So what's our thinking?
We're being pranked?

I don't know, but, um, that
imitator is Emmylou Roundtree.

She looks like the first lady,

and hires herself out as
a Melania impersonator.

But if it was a prank, why
would they pay our retainer?

$60,000?

I don't know.

But until she's proved to be a fake,

you've been paid,
so you should represent her.

Okay.

But Lucca, if you have any suspicions

that she is a fake, bring them to us.

There's a chance that there's a leak.

What do you mean? Why?

The exact same day that
we discussed hacking Melania,

we were approached at our law
firm about a Melania divorce.

- You're kidding.
- No.

- But we don't think it's real.
- Why not?

Because we're not a law firm
that you would go to about this.

And we talk to her on the phone.

It's a voice easily faked.

Okay. Uh, well, I can talk to the group

about not telling anyone,

but I don't know what else to do.

Can you check what
Internet traffic there is?

I can, but is that what we want to do?

Do it.

Keep it low-key.
Keep the results just to us.

But, Liz, Diane, maybe
you should consider this.

Maybe she's real.

I keep hearing rumors
of Melania wanting a divorce.

This is... it's unlikely.

If it's real,

it's important to get
all the financials.

The tax returns, everything.

So, I heard that the partners

are voting to freeze me out?

Is that true?

♪ One... ♪

I fucking hate you. Julius.

Mr. Blum.

How are things going in here?

Ah, piece of cake.

I'm making great strides
with, uh, S-Second Helix.

Good to know.

Julius, uh, I just-I just wanted to say,

I am so sad, uh, to hear about
you losing your judgeship.

It really tears me up,

the way the Historical
Law Society shined you on.

Actually,

if you would like me
to make a call, I'd be happy.

There's a certain congressman,
owes me a favor.

The two of you, maybe,
you know, could have lunch.

No.

Uh, thank you, but, uh, it's okay.

Hey.

What are you doing?

What do you mean?

Blum offers to make
a call, and you say no?

You think he's offering
out of the goodness of his heart?

- There is no goodness in his heart.
- Exactly.

It'd be a quid pro quo.

Just because you get the quid,

doesn't mean you have
to come through with the pro.

I'd owe him.

So what? My father owes
all kinds of people.

He pays who he wants to pay.

For you.

Thank you?

And it's not a hat, by the way.

I would never do that to you.

Hmm.

Welcome.

To what?

Oh, you finally made it, baby.

Roll around in it a little.

At some point, one of these
will ring, and you'll answer it.

And when you're done talking,
pop out the SIM card,

toss it in the trash,

place the phone in the waste receptacle

- of your choosing.
- Ah...

Oh, that's it. Answer it.

Which one is it?

- Hello?
- Lucca, ju...

- Don't put it back in.
- Well, I don't, I... I'm trying to...

No, it's that one.

I-I can... it's vibrating.
I can feel it.

- Lucca, you gonna miss the call.
- I know. I can feel it.

There it is. I got it,
I got it, I got it. Hello?

- Hi.
- I'll leave you to it.

Your advice is good.

I did what you said.

He yells, and I bring up annulment.

And after that, he yells less.

Great. So he's dropping the postnup?

I do not know.

But what I do know,

I want to proceed with a divorce.

A divorce?

The actual divorce?

Yes. I never wanted any of this.

I just want to live a normal life.

Without people thinking my
Christmas trees are ugly.

They're cranberry clusters.

It's art.

Can I, uh, ask you one question?

What?

What does the name Emmylou
Roundtree mean to you?

Vernon Jordan, Adrian Boseman.

Great to meet you. I knew
Carl Reddick quite well.

He was a, a great man.

You're doing great work.

Thank you. Thank you for saying that.

See, this is what I love,
bringing people together.

Let me see if your car is here.
Vernon has to race off to D.C.

- Uh, please.
- Thank you.

You know, Mr. Jordan,

I don't want to put you
on the spot, but, um,

what in the world do you make

of what's going on right
now in this country?

You cannot let circumstances defeat you.

I mean...

I grew up in the first public
housing project in America.

I'm listening
to the radio with my father,

after dinner,

and Eugene Talmadge is the governor.

- This is Georgia? Hmm.
- Yeah.

He comes on and he says,
"This is your governor,

Eugene Talmadge, and I'm
running for reelection.

I have two planks in my platform:

niggers and roads.

I'm against the first
and for the second."

That was my introduction to politics.

To "politics."

So tell me, Mrs. First Lady,

what's the worst thing about
living in the White House?

'Cause when we were working
in the White House...

the Obama White House...
it was, uh, the long hours.

Yes, I think it's the Big Macs

and all the Whoppers everywhere.

I like real food. I'm from Slovenia.

- But he, of course, is a pig.
- Zelda.

Is everything okay?

I would like for you to take
a step back from my client.

I... I don't understand.

I feel you're putting ideas in her head.

I feel that you're corrupting her.

I'm taking these back.

Uh, n-no. No.

- Let go. What?
- N-No.

If Melania wants
to fire me, she can fire me.

- That is not your decision.
- Well, it's sure as hell not yours.

- Let-let go. Let go!
- Give it...

Is this about me asking if she's a fake?

You're mean.

What the fuck?

- What... ? Hey!
- My phones.

- Those are, those are...
- Hey!

- My phones!
- Ladies, ladies, stop it.

Stop it! Stop it, stop it!

- You're good, you're good.
- They're not yours.

Who... Are you crazy?

Julius here is the real
deal, isn't he? Huh?

That classy, conservative demeanor.

It's like he's from Central Casting.

Uh, we were, we were just
talking about decency.

Yeah. Oh, decent as the day is long,

but with balls.

Huh?

Oh!

Judge Cain,

uh, gets champagne.

I'm still a long way from the bench.

Not anymore, you're not.

Here's to, uh...

The president.

- Mmm.
- Mmm.

Thank you for the help.

- I'm deeply appreciative.
- Oh, happy to do it.

Just know it wasn't an act of kindness.

Now, when I call,

you come running.

Just kidding!

Oh...

- Oh.
- Your face.

It's me.

I know. What can I do for you?

I didn't sleep last night.

I am so much worrying
about this divorce.

I need more to frighten him.

I think...

your firm has maybe
a special way to help me.

What are you talking about?

Somebody told me you have
the tape of him, in Moscow,

with the women who pee on the bed.

I...

I-I don't know what you mean.

Can you get this tape for me?

Um...

We got played.

I don't understand.

She's just asking to see this
tape, and if we don't...

have... this tape...

We have the golden shower tape?

We have a copy of a tape
that might be the...

tape you're referencing.

Don't you think that
was important to tell me?

It has nothing to do with your work.

I'm representing the First Lady.

Or a first lady imitator who
wants to find out what we know.

That doesn't make sense.

Jay.

After Zelda Raye represented models,

she started to sign other talent.

One person she signed
was Emmylou Roundtree.

So what would you like me to do?

Break off any communication
with this divorce client contacting you,

and, uh, we'll just refund her retainer.

You told the receptionist
to answer the phone,

"Law offices of Roland Blum"?

On one line only.

The receptionist also accepted

service of a subpoena for you?

Now, I most definitely did
not tell her to do that.

Why were you served a subpoena?

'Cause the idiot suing me
lacks a basic understanding

of the mail fraud statute.

- Hey, thanks for everything.
- Mr. Bishop.

We just heard from
Georgetown, Dylan's in.

- Ah!
- Oh!

- Congratulations.
- Fantastic.

This is a case of Romanée-Conti
to show my appreciation.

Uh, you can put it down now.

Thank you.

And to really show my appreciation,

I've fired Charles Lester.

From now on, the only lawyers I need

are right here in this room.

Oh, that's great news.

Yes, indeed.

Blum and Boseman.

What a concept. Hmm?

- What do you need?
- You.

- Why?
- Because you're not answering her phone calls.

Because I don't know who she is.

You know who she is.

She's a lady, and she needs your help.

She sent me here to talk
to you. She fired Zelda,

and Zelda's the one
who convinced her to ask

for the tape in the first
place. She said she's sorry.

Hmm.

One-one more thing.

Okay. She wants to know if you'd be
willing to meet with her in person.

Are you up for that?

Why?

So she can say all of this face to face,

and you can see that she means it.

What do you think?

Uh...

Penthouse 1 at the Farrow. 7:30 p.m.

That work out all right,
breaking it off with the client?

Yeah, perfectly.

Good. If you hear anything
from that client ever again,

you tell us.

I definitely will.

Okay.

I would argue that
we move Blum off-site.

He hasn't achieved
anything on Second Helix

since he's been here all week.

All he's done is cozy up to clients,

cavort with associates, and ruin morale.

Adrian?

Well, he is a different
flavor from what we're used to,

but he has brought in new business.

Lucrative business.

I certainly didn't want him here,

but... eh... yeah, it's... something.

Oh, my God. Liz?

I ignore him.

All right. Let's put it to a vote.

All those in favor of telling
Roland Blum to leave?

I'm gonna tell you a secret.

Feel free to keep it to yourself.

I'm a people person.

I am.

You know, I-I-I know

it seems like I wouldn't be,

but deep down,

I just want people
to see me and-and like me.

I-I-I know it's childish...

Well, you are a child.

... but I'm more sensitive
than I may appear.

Why don't you like me, Diane?

You know, I-I think you are

an incredible specimen.

You remind me of my mother.

We could be great together.
Professionally, of course.

Though, I'll warn you,
you may find yourself

eventually falling for me.

My pheromones are merciless.

I know what this is.

You've managed to sink your fangs

into most of my colleagues
and that gives you a high

because you're a desecrationist.

I've never been called that before.

My pants just got a little tight.

You're compelled to defile, Mr. Blum.

It's pathological.

And you may think you've
made some inroads at my firm,

but I guarantee you,
it's not gonna last.

Because you are the light
that drives out the darkness?

No, because your tactics work,

and I'm happy to become you...

... in order to get you
the fuck out of my way.

Hello?

Hi. I was told, um, to...

Do you want me to...

- Thank you for coming.
- Of course.

Do you want wine? I'm
going to have some.

I'm a little bit nervous.

Sure.

I didn't know you were black.

I-I am.

You're pretty.

Thank you?

Do you have any tattoos?

No.

I have two.

Oh?

My husband doesn't like them.

I see.

Have you changed your
mind about divorce?

I have.

Why?

Because of Jackie Kennedy.

We're very connected, you know.

I am the second Catholic First Lady,

so now it is up to me
to carry the torch.

I think so hard

what she would do?

What did she do?

She knew about those women,

but she also understood
the man that she married,

as I understand the man I married.

She put on her lipstick and
she turned the other cheek.

She gave support.

And she found some happiness.

That is what I will do, too.

Are you sure?

You don't need to be subservient.

It is my duty to the American people
to see this through.

I must be best too, no?

And my husband, he buys me
this for me yesterday.

It's beautiful, no?

I have to go.

You don't need to do
what people tell you.

It was very nice to meet you.

I like black people.

If you change your mind...

Um...

There is one thing that might
make me change my mind.

What?

If you do have that pee-pee tape,

I could use that to help
fight against my husband.

You're a faker,

aren't you?

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