Original subtitles

for thousands of years..

family's around the world have chosen whom their children would married.

it's called an arranged marriage.

Yeah, i know.

arranged marriages, they don't sound all that romantic.

but, the upside is

they have a very low risk of divorce.

it's quite simple actually.

see, with arranged marriages,

family, friends are involved

in the matchmaking process from day one.

so,

finding your life partner becomes a whole lot easier and painless.

because everyone has a stake in making the marriage work.

those are my grand parents.

married 52 years.

my uncle and aunt,

thirty years.

and most of my other relatives,

they've also had arranged marriages.

and all them,

are still married.

the bride and groom on the stage,

they barely know each other.

but you know what?

9 out of 10 they will be married til death do them part.

compared to the over 50% of today's love marriages

which would ultimately end in divorce.

prime example,

my parents..

they had a love marriage

i know what you've been doing behind my back.

if it's bother you so much, why don't you say something all these years? - you repulse me..

stop playing victim. - for God sake, he's upstairs.

keep your bloody voice down.

don't twist my words!

i did what i thought was right.

i married you, didn't i?

i should have never

falling in love with you. -I..

want a divorce.

now, don't get me wrong okay?

i'm not saying that all love marriages are doom to fail.

but..

why would i take the risk when i clearly don't have to?

i just won't fall in love, not yet.

i'll stick to time-honored tradition

and get an arranged marriage, and eventualy

my wife and i will grow to love each other.

just like my grand parents.

and we too will live happily ever after.

just like them.

we are gathered here on this beautiful day...

to join toge... - i love you.

i love you too. -i love you more. -i love you more.

ooh a teddy bear!!

you're my teddy bear. -you're my teddy bear. -uuuhhmmm...

oh God, i'm so sorry..

would you watch where you're going?

i'm sorry, i'm very sorry about that.

it's fine, they're just saying their "I do's".

sorry again.

i see no reason to waste time.

i'll get married right after i graduate.

i even pick the date.

everything is set.

well....

almost everything.

hello?

hello Deepak uncle.. -Yes?

it's Harry.

Harry who?

Harry shankar from New York?

do i know you?

sort of. I'm Dev and Geeta's son.

oh my my my.. those two..

i warned them. - you did.

and now they're divorce.

like you predicted.

what a shame ah?

mmm...

Deepak uncle, i don't know how to say this..

well say it..

i want to get married.

will you help me?

of course..

when all has failed, Pandit Deepak prevail.

i think i just found..

this week's knight..

Harry?

i gotta say that to your mom, she likes that kind of stuff man...

it gets almamater's moment, i like that. -yeah.

morning everyone.

so.. today's topic

with divorce rate so high

why do people bothered getting married anymore?

perhaps free oral sex?

hahahaha..

maybe this is why divorce rate are so high in America.

in my country, we respect marriage.

it's something that's good for the progress of the society.

we take our time to arrange them so that they last.

when two people get married at a younger age,

they have time

to grow and accept each other idiosynchrosis.

that's why India has one of the lowest divorce rate in the world.

Thank you Mr. Shankar.

maybe Harry's not so off base.

but, i mean i have my own take on the whole thing.

i call it

the "sonny and cher" syndrome.

i mean she was a

georgeous girl with a

great voice and sweet set of legs who

hooked up with a short guy who sang out of tune

but they got divorce.

after how many successful years together?

and no to mention their

their own TV show,

like...

15 emmy nominations and millions in record sales, i..

what we're talking about is..

making the best of the situation

here, not a miracle.

actually, this is a great topic.

for this a...

this term paper.

"marriage vs mating"

ahh Theresa..

why don't you and Harry pair up?

do your paper together.

how's that for an arranged marriage Harry?

You went behind my back Harish?

how could you?

mom, let me explain, okay?

you wouldn't help, i have no choice

but to start calling around.

no choice?

do you know how embarrasing it is

to have this crook Deepak

trying to arrange your only son's wedding?

and you don't even know about it?

it's called an arranged marriage..

that means someone actually has to arrage it.

oh please darling

you're just going through a phase..

wetting my bed was a phase mom..

this is not a phase.

don't be a fool Harish

no mother in her right mind

is going to let her daughter marry a boy

who's own mother wants no part of the marriage.

it's you duty to help me.

i know you're disappointed with me right now.

but when you look back on this a year from now,

you will thank me.

fine, i'll see what dad has to say about it.

you're lovely..

and a great fuck, but i..

but i do have to go upstrairs now baby.

Harry...

my God, i forgot to invite you.

tonight, i want to talk to you.

that was fun.

of course we'll talk.

come let's go join the party.

so dad..

what do you think about my plan?

you have your whole life ahead of you

now's the time to enjoy yourself.

go see what's out there.

later, is the time to marry

anyway..

tonight is party night.

we should discuss it another time.

go...

live a little.

i have found the one for you, check your e-mail.

her name is Nita Shah.

Nita Shah?

Nita..

Shankar...

Mrs.

Nita..

Shankar.

she's 22

and from a very good family.

and your birth charts

they match to perfection.

so Harish...

deal? or no deal?

can i think about it?

Harish, are you arranging this marriage or am i arranging it?

now listen, please..

her parents are eager to get her married.

so time is of essence.

and this goldfish

is not going to be swimming in the tank for much longer.

ooo

but.. - no buts..

remember..

you are no spring chicken Harish

already 22

it's like 72 in prospect years.

and if you wait any longer to get married

the only types we may be able to find you,

are what you.. how do you call them?

chicks? yes.. chicks..

would have already hatched.

and we all know what happens

when the shells break

now we don't want broken shells now do we, Harish?

God no.

oh God yes..

what is it going to be Harish?

the egg? or the chick?

the egg.. the egg for sure!

ahh great..

i've included an e-mail ID

so you can communicate directly with her if you want.

really?

would that be okay?

better..

this is the 21st century.

don't they teach you anything over there at the university?

who's the babe man? -Louis come on.

come on...

her name is Nita Shah.

she's 22..

planning to be an architech like me

and the best part is..

she's crazy about children

and animals.

so are pedophiles and sex offenders.

Louis, i might be marrying her.

What??

when did all this happen?

recently.

you know you can't get married.

you're a virgin.

God it hurts so bad.

just count to three.

ahhhh..

ahhh!!! -Louis! this is insane!

Freaking son of a bitch!!

dude, get me some ice from the fridge, quick!

Jalapenos? my nuts are on fire

and you bring me Jalapenos?

it was the only thing we have left in the freezer okay..

thanks..

look..

about tonight, this date?

i'm not going..

no, you're going.

i'm going to be married.

then you've got nothing to be worried about now, do you?

i mean we're only meeting them to choose a subject for a lousy term paper.

in a bowling alley?

this is totally inappropriate.

hey, just cause you order your meal from the menu,

don't mean you can't still check out the buffet.

now relax..

you'll be safe in the bowling alley, it well-lit.

come on.. - shut up..

gutter ball...

you should've hit the pin.

i think louis is cute.

he's not so bad.

oh, am i actually beating you?

look at the score. - yeah it cause of my leg.

yeah okay.. - remember when i...

hey..

hi Theresa..

how are you? - good.

kiss.. wow.. hehe

hi, how are you? -good handshake.

show me? -yeah..

but..

give me a kiss for good luck.

for good luck..

anyway, this one guy..

was like the blind date from hell..

Theresa look, i don't mean to sound offensive, but

i hope you don't think this is a

a date.. - oh no..

i'm too late, right?

cause you are goin on the ultimate

blind date..

"you may kiss the bride"

why are you mocking my believes?

i'm just playing with you.

sorry.. - Theresa,

arranged marriage is a sacred union

between two people who grow together in time.

not some sort of chance meeting okay?

it works because of it's process, not cause

somebody wink at you online. -yeah

i got it.

get a room!!

you know i can't believe those guys

well you're the 1 who tell them to get a room

yeah but i didn't think that i gonna be sexiled

from my own apartment.

sexiled?

yeah, when your roomate exile you

to engage an intense sexual activity

i see, haha..

well...

we got the whole night together

so.. better start thinking of something to do

look harry.. i..

i want you to know that

i know..

that you're getting married n i respect that

i'm sorry that i got weird on you at the bowling alley, it's just..

maybe we should start over.

hi..

i'm Harry..

Theresa.

please to meet you Theresa.

listen, i gotta get going.. i'll go..

sit on my stupe or something..

what, it's kinda late isn't it, i mean..

will you be safe? - ooh it's fine.

i got my stun gun. -okay.

i'll see you later.

theresa,

you can always..

sleep with me..

i mean, sorry, aah..

i meant at my place.

in Louis' bed.

it's okay, i..

i don't want to put you out.

don't worry, i'm not putting out.

hahaha...

come on..

oohh.. -let's go..

uumm Harry?

can i borrow something to sleep in?

yeah sure.

PJs, i'll leave them outside the door.

just toss them in.

i got something in my eyes.

oh God no!

oh God yes!

please.. oh God not now..

grandma.. think of grandma!

please blood, circulate..

why won't you circulate when i need you to?

hi..

hi..

it's nice to meet you finally.

at least on-line.

same here.. how have you been?

oh i've been really busy

been studying for my exam

i needed a break,

and i saw you online.

anyways,

i was so relieved

to read your biodata

and find out that you're vegetarian.

and i especially happy to know

that..

you don't smoke or drink like my father does.

what?

oh no ah..

my father as well, nasty habits.

may i ask?

what attracted you to me?

your set..

of values..

set of values..

we shared the same sets of values across

the bed.. mmm the board.

board.

ooo...

i don't mean to sound old-fashioned or anything

but

i think it's pretty admirable

with you living in America

that you don't believe in premarital sex.

i mean..

a lot of the other prospects that's gone back to here from there

they could learn a thing or two from a gentleman like you.

thank you..

oh great

so, i'll have my parents

call your parents. - i like that.

hey

listen, my study group friend just popped up unexpetedly so

let's talk tomorrow okay? -okay.

so...

is this the one?

yeah, she's 22..

setting to be an architech like me

and the best part is she's crazy

about children

and animals.

well, does this children and

animal lover have a name?

yes, of course, her name is..

Nita.. nita.

Nita..

wow, she is really pretty.

thank you.

you must be very excited.

about Nita.

yes..

very hehe..

wow..

look at the time

i need to wake up really early tomorrow

oh hang on..

let me get a picture. - okay.

one for you..

for letting me sleep over.

and..

one for me.

for my scrapbook.

you can move now.

oh right sorry..

goodnight.

sweet dreams. -goodnight.

good morning.

good morning.

i stuck around

so i could thank you.

for being a gentleman, last night.

dude...

hey.. -hey..

bye.. - bye..

tell me..

tell me you...

of course not!

i hope you did the decent thing too. - i did.

how you pick condoms instead of lamb skin?

who is this "Nita.. chick"?

and who are her parents?

hahahaha. - don't laugh!

now please, sit and listen.

Nita is the bulding-commissioner's daughter.

commissioner.. commissioner!

what a match, my Harish and your Nita..

i was so excited when i heard

that our family will be united.

to this blessed marriage.

yes, commisioner.

did Mr...

Josi ever stopped by with some chocolate

while i was away?

no, commisioner.

you know, we were worried when we didn't hear from you or Harish's father.

you know how busy i've been with the new building.

besides, Pandit Deepak is such a great friend with the family

he insisted on helping me arrage the marriage.

yes, we were surprised

when he called.

haha..

oohh..

so, when do you think i might get to meet

my lovely daughter-in law to be?

soon.. very soon..

commissioner.. i've wrote

supervisions for you to take a look

when you get a moment

leave them, we'll talk after the marriage.

and if anything goes wrong with the wedding,

i assure you

the only other thing that you'll ever build in this town again

is a straw hut.

a royal wedding at the family pavili

for my little prince and his new princess

people will be talking about it for months.

and Nita is such a wonderful girl , Harish.

i am so proud that you made the right choice.

mom, what do you up to?

Harish, i weight the pros and cons

and i came to the conclusion

that if i don't give you my blessing

i'll have to hire publicists and lawyers to do damage control.

thanks, i'm so glad to hear your heart is in the right place

my heart?

i don't see your father lending a hand..

hey.. - hey..

sorry to showed up unannounced, i..

i tried to call you few times.

yes, i meant to get back..

just i've been awfully distracted.

well, hello..

come in.. yeah..

oohh wow!!

will you look at that?

congrats..

and when this is... - it's a girl.

well, that's fantastic.

i'm so happy for you, i really am.

i don't know what to say.

maybe we should toast or something

she's yours Dev.

what?

my? how...

how could it be mine?

no no no no...

Angela, don't cry

that's not what i meant

sit down please.

i didn't mean that.

Dad, could you open the door

i'm not home, comeback later.

Harry, i.. -Dad..?

are you gonna help me or not?

we need to talk right now.

give me a sec.

who is that?

Harry.

my son.

come on, i must've told you bout him.

listen, looks like you're busy

i know i should've not come here.

Angela..

at least give me a chance to

finish this conversation.

please..

i'll be right back.

so..

i'm not telling you not to get married

all i'm saying is, how do you know you've pick the right woman

if you have nothing to compare her to.

why would i need to compare when everything inside me tells me that what i'm doing

is right.

because some men like dry wine,

but other prefers sweet.

and the last thing you want to do is open the wrong bottle.

well, is that what you did with mom?

open the wrong bottle?

don't you dare judge me!

you only hear 1 side of the story for the last 20 years.

maybe if you stuck around a little longer

i could've heard yours too.

Harry..

a man makes a mistake and gets a woman pregnant

as i did with your mother

he tries to do the right thing but fails

tell me..

why must he paid for it for the rest of his life?

you know what, i don't know Dad

next time, try filing for bankcrupty

Harry..

guys, we've been here for an hour and half.

i really think we should go with Harry's idea for the project, ok? -look..

let me give you my coffee theory on the marriage process, okay?

it's monday morning, no no..

it's not just any monday morning

it's the morning of our finals.

now, we've been cramming all weekend n we're beat

needless to say, there's a lot riding on our coffee.

anyway, you asked me to run down to shop

for some brown roast cause we're all out so

of course i forget to ask you what kind.

so, there i am, checking out the various brands, knowing if..

fool Will get the wrong choice,

can cause us both big time.

and have they got some assortment..

i mean, all attractive

beautiful packaging,

nice colors..

great lettering

Louis, i get the point, they're all quality coffee.. - but that just it.

quality ain't good enough here, you know why?

because we're playing for keeps

anyway by this time, i'll wring it a cold sweat man

i mean, there's French blends, house blends

there's light blend, Colombian..

and serenade..

so finally i crack and i go for the house blend, figure i made the safe choice

but, when we get our grades back

that's when i found you hanging from the shower nozzle by your belt

and i realized,

i should've gone for the Colombian.

could you live with that for the rest of your life?

cause, i couldn't.

i think you both should start drinking decaf.

hi..

mom hey..

look i can't talk right now, okay? i'm in class, i just..

bye..

look sorry, i'm interupting.. - oh no you're not.

you're not interupting.

you sure? -yeah, have a seat.

everything's alright?

yes, it's fine.

i know that i'm suppose to be a good daughter and listen to my parents' problems

it just sometimes i get so tired of listening.

sometimes i just

don't want to, i want to hang up the phone

i can relate..

it's like i move from LA to new york to get away from they're fighting,

and i'm still in the middle, i'm still playing referee.

i know that my parents love each other and

they didn't always used to fight like this, it's just..

i went away to school and it's get worse

yeah, they love each other..

but they can't live with or without each other right?

exactly..

it's like this

disfunctional battle of the bands..

you know, my..

mom's playing "the beatles" and my dad's playing "rolling stone"

how am i suppose to choose which one is better?

which one i like more?

i don't know why i'm telling you all this.

no Theresa, it's fine. you can talk to me.

you know, when i finished talking to my parents,

i gotta take a walk.

i gotta run around for miles, around the city..

it helps me clear my mind.

how do you run from the things that run through your mind?

the faster you run, the faster they ran after you.

you know, when i was a child..

it was too dark outside so i couldn't run

i would go straight to my room..

close the door, hide under my bed

and i would pray.

i would pray so hard.

for them to just stop fighting.

it didn't work did it?

no, it did not.

but...

i always tried, everyday.

you carry that thing everywhere, don't you? -yeah.

it just sort of makes time stand still and

sometimes you just want time to stand still.

so, what's the craziest thing that you ever wanted to do? -hmm

salsa classes..

what? you?? -yeah!

really??

you can't see me salsaing? -i should start showing you some moves right now, can you do that?

not here..

well we should go for it sometimes. - really?

cause i love when you improve.. -okay..

see, we're exactly the same, like that, the same..

that, the same.

you've never been to a broadway play?

oh my gosh.. - that's so cute.

yeah, i started actually interning for this

wedding photographer and

i just really like it.

thank you for inviting me.

anytime.

it means a lot.

alright, this one.

fugly.

fugly.. - it looks like cheese. -eww, bright yellow.

bright.. cheese.. - easy max.. - what ever just mail it.

e-vite.. - e-vite.. - that's what i said.

hey.. -hey!!

okay.. forget this one.

what about this one?

too small, i hate it.. -too small.

hi boys.. -just who i wanted to see.

women's opinion. i need you to help me pick invitation.

for the wedding.

this.. is weird.

okay, look at this one. this is absolutely beautiful.

and the design..

gorgeous.. - yeah, you could hang it on the christmas tree. - yeah, it dangles.

Harish weds Nita.

this one Harry, i gotta go.

girls, don't forget our study session tonight.

ehm ehm the break has arrived.

ooh Louis, so sweet.

happy birthday, Harish!

thank you so much for remembering.

so sweet of you. - it's your birthday man! i..

happy birthday man.. - oh my god Harry..

happy birthday.. - are your friends there? - sorry, it's Nita.

are you having a party?

cute..

okay, you can open your present now.

God Harish, i hope you like it.

why didn't you tell us it's his birthday? - i forgot.

actually i never bought a present for a boy before.

okay okay, have you open it?

can you just hold on for a sec? sure.

teddy bear??

it's adorable..

isn't it adorable guys?

o yeah nice.. - yeah..

it's great.. - yeah, and totally original.

i really hope you like it.

i love it so much Nita

really really love it.

okay, there's a string at the back..

pull it.

string on the back?

oh god..

"you are my sweet cuddly waddly bear.."

"ahh, yes you are.."

"you are my sweet cuddly waddly.."

hehehehe...

hey, teddy bear.. if you gotta talk, do it in another room..

cause some of us got some work to do.

and i went all over the mall, and i saw this teddy bear..

so shall we resume?

i see no one's tasted my nachos.

so.. what made you chose architecture anyways?

thank God..

i thought i was the only Indian who doesn't watch it..

no ways, Spock rules...

let's go some place fun, like..

Jamaica!

how can we name our son "Asish"?

we might as well just called him "Hashish" so he get stripped in airports. (hashish: a kind of drug)

yes, i can cook.. better than you.

(mumbling..) -rRr-

(mumbles..)

look, all i'm saying is

this guy is like race horse with blinders on, and he's going to get married.

what are you? the horse whisperer?

look, the other day we were having this heart to heart and..

he started talking about how..

some men like dry wine, while other likes sweet but..

how could they know which one was better, unless they tasted both.

i mean..

why would a guy tell me this, when he doesn't even drink.

hey, i don't own a gun, but i still know what happens when i point it in my head, and pull the trigger.

all i'm saying is, what if he wanted to send me a signal.

but he was too shy to come out nad tell me directly.

look, T..

you know i'm not one to admit that i'm wrong

but i have been wrong about Harry. This guy..

he is not your ordinary Harry, i mean

first, he hits you with Harry Potter's magic wand,

then he sends you all kinds of mix messages like

Harry did to Sally, and now

he is busting out his magnum on you like Dirty Harry.

and blowing you away with both barrels, Bang Bang!

i say..

beware of all Harrys..

they're all.. bad.. news..

don't forget to make a wish.

here is your life line, it's quite long

yeah, it's quite long

and this over here is the line representing relationships

so, as you can see..

it's sort of playing straight but then it veers off

to the left.. - yeah, i don't see it.

you're not looking close enough obviously.

this is my grandmother's recipe. - great.

it's so yummy. - mmm, oooh..

ow God..

Harry.. Harry, what's the matter?

did you use meat sauce or m...

22 years of my religiously belief are going down...

i think i over-reacted.

she didn't mean to put meat in the sauce..

if you feel so badly about things, why don't you just

take her out to smooth things over. - you mean a date?

no no..

call it a...

call it a "date-ant"..

yeah, "date-ant" you know, to bury the hachet.

take her to one of your Indian things, chicks dig culture, man..

yeah..

theresa, theresa.. come on.

get some of this. let's go over there.

oh God, this is beautiful.

dude, this drink?

i like it. - it's called "Bhang".

sweet but packs a punch, kinda like you. -ha ha very funny.

hey, i thought you didn't drink?

oh i don't, but Bhang is allowed in even required on the day of Holi.

i'm serious.. look

Lord Shiva used it to increase meditation and reach transcendent

but we mortal use it to release anxiety and loosen up.

yeah, i'm loose man...

and i love Bhang.. - ooh me too.

bombs away...

what's with all the colours?

Holi marks the end of winter and the thrive for good over evil.

smearing colours on friends

or if you want, you need custom where one can meet new people

set a little feuds and pan it out for the sake of good old friendship. - so basically,

it's a free for all. - basically

what's the matter Harry?

feeling blue?

no, you're just making me see red.

so, what are you gonna do about it? -what am i going to do?

hahaha.. -that's what i'm gonna do about it.

and at least i'm not green with envy

at least i don't have purple haze all through my brain.

hey knock knock.. - who's there?

orange.. what are you gonna do? hit me with purple again?

dude..

maybe you should lighten up a little.

but i never cooking for you again.

i had a really really good time. thank you for inviting me. -my pleasure.

so, what are you doing tomorrow?

tomorrow?

probably see you in class, right?

yeah, you probably will.

what are you doing right now?

now?

yeah, i thought i might go home and take a bath. you know, to wash away the colors.

right, yeah.

it's a good idea

i probably do the same.

scrubs this off.

i feel like a clown.

so,

okay then..

Theresa..

yeah..

thanks for being such a good pal.

yeah..

see you, pal.

so, Harry..

can you tell us who you chose for your arranged marriage?

and why? - sure Jim. i chose Nita.

you see, we're both Brahmn.

come from the same village.

both setting to be architechs,

our birth charts matched, and best of all

you both love.. children and animal. -yes.

let's see if our audience aggrees with you.

are you nervous?

no..

not even a little bit?

i've been playing this in my mind, my entire life

all i'm doing now, is seeing the plan through

if it were me getting married, i'd be

a basketcase right now.

you're a brave guy, Harry Shankar.

do you want to take a walk? -yeah.

surprise!!

mom? - yes, surprise!!

i went by your apartment,

and Louis told me that i might

find you here.. - mom, please we talked about the excessive PDA.

i miss you..

Theresa, this is my mom.

Geeta Shankar.

formerly Patel, of the Patel of Gujarat.

it's a pleasure to meet you, my dear.

Theresa Prada.

Prada? as in the Milano Prada?

no, as in the Malibu relocated to Brooklyn Pradas.

quaint.. very quaint.

well i'm sure we'll meet again when our shop here open up.

now, come along Harish..

you and i are going wedding shopping for Nita. -mom..

Mrs. Shankar?

Yeah..

you don't mind if i come along, do you?

all those luxury stores can be overwhelming for me,

i can only imagine how they must be for someone with a lot on their mind.

like you.

you know, she's right. we could use another set of good eyes with fashion sense.

very well.

hey dad..

i was wondering if we could have dinner tonight.

oh come on, please..

it's gonna be a surprise.

okay, 8 o'clock? great, i'll see you there. bye.

mam, your table.

this must be a mistake.

no, you said Shankar, table for 3, right?

does she look like a Shankar to you?

Dev invited me, Dev Shankar.

ooh really?

well..

this should be entertaining.

Geeta, Geeta Shankar.

Dev's ex-wife.

Angela, Dev's girlfriend.

you mean, current girlfriend..

hi Dad, so.. what's the big surprise?

Harry..

am i having a nightmare, or is that your mother sitting?

no, that's mom.

dad..

you're not trying to set me up with one of your models again, are you?

what on earth is she doing here?

she just arrived today, i thought we could have a family dinner and discuss the mariage planning.

God, please let this night pass without physical violence.

hi mom, how are you?

Angela.. -hi.

hi Geeta. - hello Dev, how are you?

great..

may i present, Angela..

my son, Harry

nice to meet you. - really nice to meet you.

and... - yes, we met.

hot masala buns anyone? they're fresh from the oven.

perhaps for the gentleman

he's the baker in the family. - Geeta, don't start, okay.

Dad, may i have a word?

you're unbelievable.

bravo dad.. bravo..

Harry,

i only recently came to know that Angela is pregnant.

quite honestly, i don't know how to break it to you.

are you planning to get married again?

i care about her Harry, that's all i know.

and i know you've heard all this before but..

Harry..

right now, i'm trying to cope with the fact i'm gonna be a new father.

and my only son

is about to get married.

that's a lot for a man like me to handle all at once.

i invited Angela here because

i wanted you two to meet.

when have you ever need my approval?

i need it now.

did you at least invite her to the wedding?

well, i thought i let you do that. if you wanted to.

come on, let's go back to the table.

Angela's all alone with mom.

you should've told me that your mother was gonna be here.

could have, but you wouldn't have come. - good point.

wow...

what is this?

this is two of thumper Harry's chicks, baby..

yeah, extra hot like curry.

woo hoo hoo.. -girls, i wanted dots not feathers. -smoke a peace pipe Papi, it's party time.

GOOD LUCK HARRY!

welcome to India, everyone.

hello darling, how are you..

come come, welcome..

just remember "when all has failed, Pandit Deepak prevail", welcome to India.

Hey..

i couldn't sleep.

yeah, me neither.

must be the jet-lag. -yeah.

is everything okay?

can i asked you an 11th hour question?

sure..

do you remember that night, you walked me home

to my apartment after the Holi festival?

yeah..

why didn't you kiss me?

all i know is that he's settling.

and i rather be alone then settled.

puff.. your wish is granted. you're alone.

that was really mean.

look T..

sometimes you get to play the bride, other times you have to play the photographer.

next time you'll be the bride.

all my years of planning, down the drain.

how could i let this happen? why now?

why did i kiss her?

what was i thinking?

i wasn't.

one minute i was looking into her big blue eyes,

next thing i know - it's love man.

and it makes no sense either.

Louis, i have no time or place in my life for love now. i'm getting married.

would you stop looking at me like that? -what?

like you know what i'm thinking. -alright i'll stop looking.

okay, what am i thinking?

you're thinking "why am i doing this? why did i come half-way across the world to married someone that.."

"i don't even love".

i will love her once we're married.

it doesn't work like that, Harry. it's not real if you plan it.

what do you know? - that's right, what do i know?

just.. marry Nita.

and 1 night, when you're

passionately having orgasm with her, you'll

accidently scream out my name "oh Theresa, oh baby.." - stop it!

please..

but don't worry Harry, Nita will totally understand, since you've

"arrange" to love her. -okay, first of all

Nita won't be having any orgasms

secondly, no one will be screaming anyone else's name.

wow, that sounds like a kick-ass honeymoon.

you think that's funny don't you?

for your information, i would never call out your name.. i've got it all under control.

--- -rRr-

woooww..

hi.. -hi..

it's really something, eh?

it's crazy.. i can't believe this place.

it's so beautiful. - well, my ancestors used to live here.

umm, this is Theresa. - hi..

God, i've heard so much about you.. - thanks.

i'm so sorry.. i'm new at this.

it's okay, it happens to most of us.

Louis, hi..

you must be Rick.. - haha, you've heard of me..

hi.. Namaste. - commisioner.

Namaste.

so, how do you guys enjoying the dance?

dance was super fly. - it was dope.

it was dope.

there you all are.. -hey..

Mrs. Shah, how are you? - good, how are you?

God bless you. - commisioner.

Harish.

you seem like a nice boy.

but you know what?

sometimes nice boys,

do "not so nice" things.

understand this..

if you ever, hurt my precious flower

i'll have you ground.. to the dust you came from.

okay.. mmm commisioner.

but you can call me dad.

yeah, i'm so glad we could talk openly to one another. -i'll see you.

Dad.

Hey..

it's called "Dandiya".

"Dandiya"? - Dandiya...

can i talk to you for a moment?

you can always talk to me, Harry.

it's an Indian traditional dance that you supposed to do, and

listen, i...

i just wanted to say

i'm really sorry if i hurt you. - Harry..

relax.

it's..

it's not like i didn't see this coming.

good night.. -good night.

shall we go up to the dome? -sure.

just give me a second, i'll join you there. - okay, take your time.

that's a lovely sari that you're wearing.

thank you.

it's a..

just something i picked up.

when in rome...

what a beautiful tatoo you have.

thank you.

you know, i think Harish told me about it.

he told you about my sunflower?

yeah..

sometimes i think he talks more about you, then about himself.

at first i was really jealous,

but then he told me how helpful you were, with planning all the wedding.

and how you helped him pick out the wedding invite.

he's really lucky to have a friend like you.

thanks.

listen,

i know i should wait to be surprised, and all of that

but..

i can't wait a moment longer to find out about my Harry

and he's been sooo..

quiet...

so, i was wondering, if you could told me everything

that i need to know.

everything?

girl to girl.. - ahh

would you mind?

it would be my pleasure.

Harry..

is a really great guy

and..

you two are perfect for each other.

and i'm sure he will make you

really happy.

don't worry

i'll make him happy too.

Theresa,

i know it's not my place to ask

but, you and Harry, you are more than friends, aren't you?

actually, he has always been yours.

will you excuse me?

yeah.

what just happened?

hi..

some party, hah?

yeah, i mean mom really went all out.

hey..

thank you.

so..

since when did you start to drink?

well, i thought i take your advice and...

live a little.

i can't believe

my little baby is getting married.

well,

dad, i..

i hope i have your blessing for tomorrow.

i really need to hear that, right about now.

Harry..

your mother was a good woman

don't be a prick to Nita, like i was to your mother.

i need to ask you something.

before you do

i need to confess..

something happened.. - Harish..

i know that you care for her.

and i also know that you will care for me the same way once we married.

but we've only just met.

and there's no way that i can compete

especially if we haven't even.. - please.

let me explain

Theresa and i

are just friends.

just good friends and

what happened between her and i is

inexcuseable, i know.. but..

Nita..

it's okay.

i'm all ready Harish.. - i can't.

really?

i think we should go back downstairs. - harish..

just promise me one thing

from tomorrow onwards

everything will be perfect.

yeah, i promise.

so Harry..

can you tell us who you chose for your arranged marriage, and why?

"you are my sweet cuddly waddly bear.. aren't you?"

this goldfish is not going to be swimming in the tank for much longer.

why do people bother to get married anymore?

Darling, you're just going through a phase.

why did i come half way accross the world to marry someone that

i don't even love.

how do you know that you picked the right woman

if you have nothing to compare her to?

sometimes nice boys.. not so nice things.

can you live with that for the rest of your life?

sometimes you just want time to stand still.

deal? or no deal?

don't be a prick to Nita like i was to your mother.

don't be a prick to Nita

can i just say something?

i feel... -ooohh..

Harish!!! oh my Gosh..

Harish, are you okay??

someone get him some water, please!

first of all..

i'd like to thank

Nita's parents for this lovely lovely ceremony.

of course, my parents as well.

ever since,

my parents got divorce

i've want to get married, arranged-marriage of course.

and so i thought, if..

if i live my life analytically

i could avoid from getting hurt.

and becoming lonely and spiteful.

so..

i played it safe.

and hid under my bed.

like i used to as

as a child.

what are you saying Harish?

i'm saying is..

so months ago,

life was.. life was so simple.

now, i've..

i've complicated it very much for myself

for you

and for everyone else here today.

you calling off the wedding...

Nita..

if i didn't

i'd only be marrying you for all the wrong reasons.

when you finally found out why, you'll hate me for the rest of our lives.

and i'd rather live with you possibly hating me than live with that.

i just hope that you can

find ir in your heart to forgive me.

i'm so sorry.

i don't hate you.

in fact, i understand.

i really do.

maybe..

you just talk yourself into getting married

because your parents were trying to talk you out of it.

just let i let my parents do to me.

to rush me.

are you really?

withall due respect Sir, i..

first you crushed my little flower

father, please don't. it's okay - quiet!!

then you denegrate my family..

make a mockery of our tradition

i'm gonna kill you, you bastard.

father please, don't. - i'm gonna kill you. - what do you think..

father just stop it. Please!

no, please sir, no look..

aahhh...

you're probably wondering how thing's turn out.

well.. commisioner black-listed mom,

and vouch she never see another building project pass inspection

for as long as they're both live.

Theresa shoots for an on-line fashion magazine.

she's doing so weel.

i love it, i love it. - it's perfect.

as far as mom and i go..

i forgave her for turning my marriage into a business plan

after all, mom is mom.

and she did raise me after dad ran off to chase women.

to prove his point,

Louis open a gourmet coffee shop.

serving French Blend, House Blend

Light blend, colombian, and of course serenade...

dad married Angela.

they had a baby girl who they named "Love".

i'm crazy about it.

having a baby sister is so fun.

and dad..

actually seem to be behaving himself.

you guys are unbelievable.

stop it!!

it took a while,

but Nita and I became friends

on Facebook.

and last i check,

she's dating a guy, who also love

children and animals.

Harry..

well, here's the part where you probably

expect me to get down on my knees

and ask Theresa to marry me.

Don't people have to be dating to exchange valentine's day gifts?

what's wrong with 2 friends exchanging gifts on valentine's day?

come on let's walk. -where to?

my place.. - your place?

yeah, i'll cook for you.

okay, i won't cook for you.

well, the truth is

i'm learning a lot more about life.

by staying single

and learning who i really am.

see..

i've made it a point to live a little.

and see where life takes me.

-subscene-