Original subtitles

[Junglepussy playing "Trader Joe"]

♪ I think I like him more than I like Trader Joe's ♪

♪ I'll swallow kids if he start eatin' vegetables ♪

♪ New York nigga with the love for Arizonas ♪

♪ I got the juice he 'bout to start sippin' on ♪

♪ We don't fuck, he just pick me up from Trader Joe's ♪

♪ Carry all my groceries and lick on all my toes ♪

♪ Tryna cuff but I know you gonna leave me 'lone ♪

[singing along] ♪ When my phone ring it's 'cause ♪

♪ Of niggas seen the way I grown ♪

Am I hitting it hard enough? 'Cause it's like...

1, 2, 3.

♪ ...lick on all my toes

1, 2, 3, 4...

Un-un-un...

♪ ...'cause of niggas seen the way I grown ♪

Sarah Jo, are you listening?

Yes, very hard.

What?

You're hitting it very hard.

Okay, from the top.

Really wanna post this today to keep my numbers trending up.

It's really exhausting 'cause once you go viral,

you can't just rest.

Oh, it's the opposite of rest, you gotta grind.

Some of these girls, they're posting 15 times a day.

I swear they're using speed. I really swear it.

They're not using speed, Mom, they're rich, and they're bored.

[mother] Hey, who forgot to squeegee in here?

[song continues in background]

Babelet.

Why aren't you wearing that cherry print set we got you?

I'm practicing.

It's hanging on the curtain rod, the tags are still on it.

Why the fuck are the tags still on it?

You could have told me before I dropped $45

on something you fucking hate.

I don't hate it, I just have purple nails today.

Let's just do it later.

-[music stops] -Okay.

[Sarah Jo] I'm sure she really did like them.

She's just saving them for the perfect day.

[door closes]

Did you collect on Mark in Unit A?

Unit A, I have not yet been able to locate him yet.

Eviction notice.

Tre, Sarah Jo, breakfast, come on.

[Khia] ♪ Do it, do it, do it, do it now ♪

♪ Lick it good, suck this pussy just like you should ♪

♪ Right now, lick it good

♪ Suck this pussy just like you should ♪

♪ My neck, my back

♪ Lick my pussy and my crack

♪ My neck, my back

♪ Lick my pussy and my crack

♪ My neck, my back

♪ Lick my pussy and my crack

[muted street noises]

[woman] Hi.

Welcome back to week ten of "Caregiving Essentials

for young people with Special Needs."

I know it's been tricky to learn when we can't all be together.

We get so much just from absorbing each other's experiences

and grooving off of each other,

but I want to commend you all for making the best

of a crummy situation and pushing on.

How are we all feeling in our placements?

Sarah Jo?

I love mine.

Zach is the funniest person I've ever met.

He does the funniest, most amazing Elvis impression.

We can always count on Sarah Jo to bring the positivity.

Anyone struggling?

Because that's okay, too.

Henry.

I think it's weird that they left me alone in the house

with an 18-year-old girl,

and the kid, the younger sibling,

isn't even there, and the parents are never home.

[leader] Um, I'm gonna get back to you on that.

Uh... it's a very good point.

Um... uh, Sandra, what about you?

Do you wanna start off with some markers?

[Josh] This money is in the bank.

-[dishes clattering] -I don't know.

I'm just gonna like hunker down, you know,

kick it around the old homestead.

I don't know, maybe we'll hit Erewhon.

Nah, I was thinking I was gonna maybe work

on some of the plants outside.

[deep voice] Good morning, Z!

Sarah Jo, Sarah Jo, whaddya know?

-Good morning. -[Josh] Z, you want milk?

[Heather] Baby, I can't find my keys anywhere.

Um, when did you last have 'em?

[Heather] I just don't have time for this right now, okay?

This buyer is coming in from San Francisco,

he's a Twitter executive.

I have one hour to show him this house.

-Oh, my God. -Boom-shaka-laka.

-Oh, good! -[imitates explosion]

-Thank you. -You're welcome.

But do you remember, physical therapy?

-[splutters] -He's got physical therapy.

-[Josh] Yep, got it. -It's at the track today.

-[Josh] Got it. -I don't like when you say "got it,"

because it makes me feel like you don't got it,

and it makes me feel like I'm the only person in the world who's got it.

[Josh] What exactly would you have liked for me to have said right then?

What could have I said?

[Heather] "Heather, I'm going to meet Mary Kublick at the track."

"We're gonna have his water and his shin guards."

"I'm not gonna take him to Chic-fil-A like I did last time."

[Josh] That's not necess-- Okay, baby, let's just pretend I said that.

-Can we do that? -But you didn't say that.

But can we just do that? Can we just do that?

Please, please, please, I believe in you.

-[kisses] I'm proud of you. You are gonna slay. -I look like a whale.

You do not, look at you!

Baby, you're gonna crush today.

-[Heather] Okay. -[Josh] Okay.

-[couple kiss] -[Heather] Love you.

-Go slay the day, Mama. -Okay.

You gots this, you gots this.

You want a purple?

My man.

-I like what you're doing there, dude. -[footsteps]

Mommy wishes she could stay home with you all day, okay?

-Goodbye, Mom. -[Josh and Heather laugh]

Okay, there you have it.

He loves his days with you, Sarah Jo.

-He's a great person. -Yeah.

[Heather] Okay. [kisses] Bye, sweetie.

Bye, baby. Go get 'em.

-[Heather] Bye. -You're home when?

-[Heather] Unclear. -[door closes]

[Josh sighs]

Wow. I wonder what it's like to be that busy.

Yeah, me too.

[Josh chuckles]

I don't know, guys.

She's fuckin' awful.

Uh, ahh!

Did I just swear?

Holy sh...

-No! -Bad dad.

Bad daddy, bad! You just made money, Z-man.

-Yeah, bad. -Two bucks for the swear turtle.

You're gonna be rich, man.

[deep voice] Two bucks for you.

You know what time it is, Z?

Oh, I think we're about to get down up in here.

Is it that time, Z? Is it that time?

[blows raspberry] Siri, let's play Z's song.

-Oh! -Oh-h-h!

Oh, snap!

-[hip-hop playing] -♪ Come on!

[Josh] Oh, yeah, he's feelin' it.

♪ Fresh! That's what I am

♪ Boombox pumpin' in my left hand ♪

♪ Can't go on, I'm the king of the land... ♪

-Boo! -[shrieks]

[hip-hop continues]

Boo-boo-boo-boo-boo!

♪ When other emcees don't know what to say... ♪

Does she wanna dance?

She wants to dance?

-She wants to dance. -No!

Come on, Sarah Jo, you gotta dance with us.

What the man wants, he wants. Come on, Z.

Come on, Z.

Oh, you want me to dance with her?

All right, come on, Sarah Jo, I guess we're dancin'.

[Sarah Jo giggles]

[Josh] Uh-oh.

Yeah, go, Sarah!

Go, Sarah!

[hip-hop continues]

Sarah Jo!

Way to go, Z!

Yeah, Z!

[Treina] To be clear then,

I am in the dick prison with Harder,

and I don't wanna be released.

He's everything.

[Marilyn] I can't go through this again with you, Treina.

Now, who wants to hear their origin story?

[Treina and Sarah Jo] Me!

[Marilyn] Okay.

So, I was 30

but I felt 80.

I'd spent 13 long years in this town

doing everything it had to offer.

The shine and the dark gleam.

The golden man.

Hmm. Musty little ghouls in suits.

-Bruce... -Bruce.

He was an entertainment lawyer

with a big house in the hills.

And he had a penis that was wider than it was long,

which is called a...

[daughters] Chode.

[Marilyn] Good girls.

So the natural time was approaching for us to divorce.

He wanted a new, you know,

a new woman to bring to Oscar parties,

and I wanted a baby.

My doctor said there was

a small chance,

slim to none,

if I didn't get started right then and there.

You know, it runs in our family, Sarah Jo.

So, I was at the furrier's, LeBuque's on Wilshire,

and there was this beautiful little model,

and she shifted position,

so I noticed she had like this huge pregnant belly.

And she saw me see her and she looked scared,

like terrified, and I realized, oh, my God,

her boss doesn't know.

So I was like, "Shh, shh, it's okay, don't worry."

And I explained to her

that I could help her.

I could take care of her and the baby,

if she wanted.

And from that moment on, we are glued at the hip,

like joined.

And I have her drinking

carrot and yam smoothies.

[Treina] Eww.

I have her doing dance workouts and lymphatics,

and when she goes into labor, I leave.

I leave Bruce.

And when you, when you are born,

she leaves with this guy she met at Scientology,

when they do that thing where they shock you,

you know, on your wrist if you're telling a lie.

And you and I, we move into this sweet little apartment in Beverly Hills,

and every night we watch the headlights go by.

And I say...

"Count the diamonds, little thing."

And you were a very early counter.

You were.

"Reina" means queen.

And the "T"...

the "T" I added for "truth."

Have to remember to tell Harder this,

'cause he wants to know everything about me.

Will you tell mine now?

Yours?

I was having, um, a fling with my personal trainer, Roy,

and he was doing such a good job

that I didn't even realize I was pregnant

till you nearly slipped out at seven months.

And we did, we tried to give it a go.

But... he even named you, you know that?

He was very, very handsome.

But he was just a really simple guy.

So I bought him a ticket back to Florida.

It's best just to keep it us three.

Mom, you were like, "Well, hey, Roy."

-[Marilyn] Stop! -You were.

[Marilyn] He was a very nice man.

-You were like, "Oy, Roy!" -You are bad.

-"Oy, Troy..." or Roy. [laughs] -Don't!

-"Oy, Roy!" -That's so disgusting!

[Treina] Ay-ay-ay!

ZZ Top, what are we working with today, buddy?

-Okay. -Okay.

You know something, Z? I love you.

I don't want you to be anything in this world but exactly who you are.

That being said, sometimes we need to have just like

the ability to just sort of want to at least change it up a little bit.

You wanna rock it though, huh?

[chuckles] He wants to rock it.

-Rock it! -I hear you, dude.

I hear you, it's coming.

Houston, I think we are ready for liftoff.

[deep voice] In 5, 4...

3, 2, 1...

[screams]

I gotta land this rocket!

[falsetto] Oh, I'm gonna... [imitates explosion]

Eat up, big boy. I'll get you some more milk.

Sarah Jo, I got more batter.

Let me make you some. Pick a shape.

A mouse?

-A mouse? -If that's okay.

If that's... if that's...

[Josh] No, it's cool, um...

Let me just like... [imitates explosion]

...wrap my artistic head around a mouse.

All right, I see your mouse.

I see your mouse, Sarah Jo.

All right, stand by.

See what we got going here.

[whispering] What do you want to do today, Zach?

I want to watch a movie with Elvis.

You wanna watch an Elvis movie?

Let's do that.

You know what, Zach?

You are like Elvis to me.

You mean the best ever?

-You're the best ever. -No, you're the best ever.

-You're the best ever. -The best ever...

[Josh] Okay, Sarah Jo,

it is with honor and respect,

I humbly present to you

monsieur le mouse.

-Yuck. -[Josh chuckles]

-[pot clangs] -Thanks, Z.

Whaddya... [chuckles]

Whaddya think?

You dig it?

Cool.

[Treina sighs]

This feels fucking fantastic.

My third eye is tired.

It's an ancient ritual.

It clears away years of impurities.

Emotional, physical, sexual.

I think Harder might be the full package, guys.

What is in a full package?

Can't believe I'm saying this, but, like, the husband?

[Marilyn] Oh, no, no, no.

Don't even say that word in front of me.

After five California divorces, it loses a little of its tingle.

I know, but it's like...

[sighs]

He's so fucking hot.

He's obsessed with me.

He's nice to dogs.

He's in my scene.

He has a British accent.

He makes a living.

Oh, as what?

What do you mean "as what"?

What does he make a living doing?

That's a snotty question.

I just asked what he enjoys.

[Treina] He's a club promoter, okay?

You don't have to be so immediately judgmental

of what people are doing to rise up in this world.

Everybody has to start someplace.

He's already said three different times

he'd never let our family go hungry.

Our family.

Go hungry.

But we're not hungry.

That's not the point.

[Marilyn] I vote pool man or gardener.

Both safe, good jobs. Always in demand.

I think Harder might be Greek.

This too shall pass.

What?

[Marilyn] Mm...

just wanting to kiss Harder all the time,

fuck Harder all the time.

Mom, eww!

No, I'm just saying, enjoy it now, you know.

Eat it for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

'Cause in about 23 years, you're never gonna wanna do it again.

[snorts softly]

This too shall pass.

Uh.

I'm just itchy as fuck. Is anyone else itchy?

Is the antihistamine hour upon us?

[Treina] Wait.

Okay, but, like...

he's hanging out with his ex's cousin

at Universal Studios.

Like, what is that?

[Marilyn, pill in mouth] It's simple.

You wanna know if he's really yours?

You look him in the eye

and you say...

"Do you find me beautiful?"

[chuckles]

It's foolproof.

He did not think you were gonna ask that question.

He thought he had endless amounts of time to decide,

and you are giving him a limited time offer.

And he starts thinking, "If I don't act soon,

the next schmo off the bus from Idaho will."

And that is how I ended up

in not one but two Duran Duran music videos

with a pet-fuckin' cheetah.

-[Treina] Oh, my God. -It opened doors with its paw.

-Okay? -[Treina] Yeah.

So, say after me.

-Do... -[Treina] Do...

-[Marilyn] ...you... -[Treina] ...you...

-[Marilyn] ...find... -...find...

-...me... -...me...

[both giggling and snickering]

-[Treina] Do you find... -[Marilyn] Me.

[Treina] Me.

Beautiful?

[Treina] Beautiful?

[Marilyn] The truth, men love a problem.

Interesting men.

You know, like...

complicated men...

they love a backstory.

♪ Ten boots and you color each ♪

♪ I like to go from here to Jersey ♪

♪ Don't even try to test me, yo ♪

♪ My name's D, I like to go hard ♪

♪ You know my thing, it goes about a yard ♪

♪ I'm a steadily deadly beast

♪ I getcha TV, ten boots and... ♪

Josh?

[chuckles]

-What's up? -Hi.

[Josh] Hey.

-Is Z asleep? Yeah? -Mm-hmm, he's still sleeping.

Good.

Do you find me beautiful?

Huh?

I hope these scars

won't be an issue for you.

Whoa, whoa.

Sarah Jo...

Hang on a second.

You really don't need to do that.

I'm sorry if I gave you, uh, the wrong impression

or something, but listen, you're...

So, you...

you don't find me beautiful?

No, I just, I haven't...

No, you are.

Yeah, of course...

Of course you are.

-That's not... -I'm still a virgin, you know?

Shut the fuck up.

Really?

Wow.

Huh.

[laughs] That's crazy. I just didn't...

Really? I mean, that's great.

Good for you. That's something you should, like, protect and--

No, I don't wanna be a virgin.

-Why? -Because I'm 26.

Ah, Sarah Jo, come on.

And I like you.

Me?

You're sensitive.

Masculine, proven by how you relate to your son.

-You don't judge people for being different... -Bullshit.

...and you are such a good dancer,

and my mother says that means you'll be good in the sack.

Well, you've gotta listen to your mom.

You should never argue with mom,

but, please, just keep that there, keep...

I gotta tell you something, Sarah Jo.

I'm... I'm older than you.

And I know a few things.

And I promise you,

you do not want to lose your virginity to me.

I promise.

I'm like, uh...

I mean, I'm like a loser.

No, I'm not just saying this, Sarah Jo.

I'm like grizzled and old and like my body is...

Just trust me... pl-please?

You don't want this.

You-You should find someone really nice.

You know? Find a-- Hey, find a nice guy.

Like a nice, a nice... Sarah Jo.

Like a nice boy who's soft and treats you well,

like a fuckin' Disney star, Zac Efron.

I don't watch Disney.

[Josh] Well...

[Sarah Jo] Do you see these scars?

Um, Sarah Jo, I do.

I do.

I have these scars because I had a radical hysterectomy at 15.

It was an emergency.

I'm sorry to hear that.

You don't have to be sorry, you didn't do it.

My body was in pain one day.

It was in so much pain that I passed out in gym class

and everyone was running over me to capture the flag.

And then the doctors went in, and when they went in,

everything was all stuck together like

someone had spit chewing gum in there,

and instead of having one uterus,

I had two very small ones with the ovaries stuck into them.

Nothing would have ever grown in there, even if I tried.

Maybe a little bit but it would have died before it was ever born.

-Hey. -So they took everything out, and...

without puncturing my intestines because my mother said

she wouldn't live with a child with a colostomy bag.

I don't... I hit menopause when I was 17,

and I don't feel my age and I don't feel my body

and so I'm just asking you for this favor, for this one thing.

If you think I'm, if you think I'm beautiful...

I do.

I think you're beautiful.

Can I kiss you?

Yes.

Okay, I'm gonna.

Okay.

Oh, fuck.

Zach is sleeping for another 45 minutes.

Does it take that long?

[Josh chuckles]

[Josh] If you asked Heather, she would definitely say no.

Can I go down on you, Sarah Jo?

-Go down? -Yeah.

Where?

-[Josh] Where? No, can... -I don't know what...

[Josh] I'm sorry.

Can I... Can I kiss you here?

-Uh-huh. -Right here.

Uh-huh. Yeah.

[romantic rock music playing]

Are you okay?

[Sarah Jo] I just wanna do the main thing now.

Can we do the main thing?

Yeah.

-[chuckles] -Yeah?

-Yeah, we can do the main thing. -Okay.

Yeah, all right.

-Let's... come here. -Okay.

-Come here, just lay down, okay? -Okay.

All right, be careful. Wait, hang on.

Let me just get something for your head.

-Okay. -All right.

I'm gonna...

I'm gonna take these off, okay? Yeah?

All right.

Oh, boy.

Okay. All right.

Listen...

you gotta promise me,

if anything hurts or turns at all uncomfortable,

you've gotta tell me, okay?

-Yeah? -Yeah.

Okay.

-You ready? -Yeah.

Yeah? Okay.

Okay.

Is that all right? Yeah?

Okay, shh, shh, shh.

Okay.

Yeah, is it all right?

Ah, fuck, yeah.

Shh.

You okay?

Okay, and it doesn't hurt, right?

-Uh-huh. -Yeah?

Ah, fuck...

Shh-shh-shh... wait.

Ah...

Ah, fuck...

Fuck!

Ah, shit.

-I'm so sorry. -What?

Fuck, I'm so sorry.

What? Is it done?

Oh! Son of a bitch!

Goddamn it.

What? Are you okay?

Yeah. I'm... I'm really...

Uh...

Is it...

Does it... does it usually take that long?

No, no, no.

No, it did-- No, definitely not.

So, what happened?

[sighs] I just...

Fuck.

It's that...

That's why I knew that we shouldn't have done this.

I'm sorry, I...

You should never...

Heather and me, like, don't...

we don't do this.

Do what?

We don't, like, have sex anymore.

Like now for two years, we just...

Well, it's like fucking pathetic.

And so...

But how did she make the baby?

Well...

First of all, it cost like 150 fucking grand, you know?

You just, you...

you felt super good, and...

you're so fucking beautiful and like sexy,

and I don't know, it just... I got excited

and I'm really sorry, and I can't believe

that that was...

Can we do it again?

You wanna do it again?

Um...

Yeah.

Yeah, Sarah Jo.

I mean, I need like ten minutes, but is that...

Yeah?

-Yes. -Okay.

-And in the meantime... -Yeah.

...I didn't really like the thing that you were doing

when you put your mouth or your lips or your tongue

or whatever down here.

-Really? -Mm-hmm.

Huh.

It didn't really feel that good.

It didn't?

Holy shit.

Nah, you should, like...

I used to have a pretty... [chuckles]

...pretty wicked reputation for being pretty darn good at that.

But, okay. No, no, I'll take the hit.

Um...

You're something else, Sarah Jo.

It's okay if I touch you here?

Is that all right?

How is that?

-Mm-hmm. -Yeah?

Mm-hmm.

How is that?

Yeah?

[Sarah Jo moaning]

Shh, shh, shh. That's it.

That's it.

Yeah.

-[moaning] -[hip-hop playing]

Okay. I don't think I need ten minutes anymore, Sarah Jo.

-♪ I'm tryna blow her back out, walking funny for the year ♪ -♪ Wobble, wobble!

♪ Tell me that you want me, that's the shit I always hear ♪

♪ I got three bitches on me like the three musketeers ♪

♪ Aye, aye! Tell lil' shorty come here, I'm tryna blow her back out ♪

-♪ Walking funny for the year -♪ Wobble wobble! -♪ Tell me that you want me

♪ That's the shit I always hear, I got three bitches on me ♪

♪ Like the three musketeers

[rap continues, Sarah Jo moaning]

All right, here we go.

-You wanna make money, bro? -What you fuckin' say?

Or do you want your kids to fucking starve?

Do you want your unborn baby to fucking starve?

Come to my next wedding,

be wearing fucking diapers and rags with no shoes on.

I'm up there getting married to a fucking denim princess, bro.

Can you imagine ten years ago, if I had said,

"Hey, Yuli, let's put a fucking kombucha spout

in a fucking denim lap," dude, you would have puked.

Well, tell them that when I've got my dick out

on the cover of Rivet magazine.

[laughing]

And you're like taking smoothie orders at Magic, bro.

You're legitimately filthy.

-[chuckles] -Legitimately.

But it's nice.

There's gonna be a fucking tofu lab, you know?

-Yeah. -Like a fucking granola bar.

-Oh, I love it. -We sell pants, dude.

[Yuli] Here we go, let the Yule log get some.

[Josh] Aw, shit! Oh, yes! [laughing]

[door closes]

-Mmmmm. -[Heather snickers]

Mm, Mama!

-[Heather, laughing] No! -[Yuli] Come on.

You gotta be the most beautiful pregnant woman in all of California.

-Yuli! -Oh, my God.

Oh, my God!

Did you think I was your husband for a second?

No, I did not because my husband would never touch me that tenderly.

-[Yuli] That's true. -[Heather] What are you two idiots

doing up there for so many hours?

[Yuli] Making moves.

Making power moves.

That's just what we do.

From 2002.

Never been me-too'd.

Just free-stylin' with my crew.

Heather, Josh, Zach...

Zach's babysitter.

The stiff Swiss dick is the pick of the litter.

[Heather] No. No, no, no, no, no, no.

-[Yuli] What did I... [laughing] -You're done. You're done.

When the girls scream "danke," I just reply "bitte, schon."

I grew up in the Alps, but I'm not Austrian.

[chuckles]

-You're fucking glowing. -Stop it.

No, you are, you are fucking aglow.

I mean, don't stop it, but go home to the 21-year-old who's in your bed, truly.

-You get what you get and you don't get upset. -[Heather] You're an idiot.

[Yuli] 'Sup? I love you.

[Heather] I love you.

[departing footsteps]

[door closes]

You know, you don't have to do that.

I can do that for you. Zach is still at swim practice.

Oh, thank you, Sarah Jo, but it's one of the few things

that makes me feel like a competent mother,

so I'll finish it up myself.

-Okay. -[container clattering]

Let's see if he actually eats this.

These tops.

Ow! Ow, my God.

-Are you okay? -I cut myself. Ow!

-Ow, that hurts. -Okay, one second, let me get something.

I don't know how I just cut myself on a children's snack pack.

I feel like a modern miracle, that's not supposed to happen.

-There you go. -Thank you.

Aaah.

Oh, that hurts.

Oh, my God.

Whew!

Sarah Jo, you really are such a gem with him.

It makes leaving him every day,

especially like this,

a lot more bearable.

So, thank you.

[Heather sniffles]

I'm sorry.

I literally don't know what's happening.

It happens like six times a day now.

I'm barely even crying, it's nothing.

It's nothing.

Please ignore me.

-I won't ignore you. -It's like a hormone.

Just like, it's not even tears, it's just like this thing that happens.

It's like my...

[exhales sharply]

And I know I asked you to stay late tonight,

which I really appreciate.

There's this whole work thing, I don't even wanna go, but...

I would love it if you could be a little bit more on it

with picking up after Zach's activities,

you know, putting things back in the bin.

It just feels like the yard's been hit by a hurricane,

the living room's a mess, you know?

And so if you could just put things back in the bin

after you finish one thing,

and then, you know, let the dishwasher run,

you would be batting a thousand, truly.

Ow, ow, ow.

God, this really hurts.

[Josh] No, it's just like he's like

forebodingly disgusting.

I mean, like, I swear to God,

like Yuli opened a bar just to get pussy.

And like think about that, he...

And if you think about, like, right now,

like in this political climate,

it's like... [laughs]

You know? I mean, imagine if Yuli did not have a rich dad.

The shit's cool. I mean, he's got, like, good taste.

But like...

It's like, would the world legitimately be

a better place or would it be a worse place?

I mean, like answer that... [laughs]

But seriously, though, like, answer the fucking question.

Right?

[chuckles]

No, it's like, I just, like,

I just, like, have this picture of him in Cabo

and just like, just like how just fucking decrepit he is.

Like, the things he wants and like what he goes after,

it's just like, he's like a legitimate maniac.

[chuckles]

Well, dude, your fuckin' wife ought to wash your feet

before you go to bed too, you fuckin'...

Oh, shit.

Hey. Oh, fuck. Um...

Yeah, man, let me, um... I gotta go.

Yeah, no, I love you. Yeah, late. Yep.

-Hey. -Hi.

Wow. Um...

[laughs]

Sarah Jo, I'm, uh... I'm glad you're here.

I gotta...

You are?

[Josh] Yeah.

Yeah, I just, um...

needed to, um...

I wanna, I wanna talk to you.

Um...

What happened between us the other day,

Sarah Jo, that...

that just can't happen.

It cannot.

And I will not allow that to happen again.

As a dad and as a husband,

that is just not the kind of guy I want to be.

I think there's been like a lot of pressure around here,

the thing with Heather and me.

And, uh, that's not an excuse, you know, but it's, um...

And look, man, I think you're like...

I think, I think you're wonderful.

You add so much to like the general vibe around here, man.

You like, um...

I just, for me, it's about Zach.

It is about Zach.

And he comes first.

He comes first.

And... and that's it.

Okay?

I just, like, really wanna...

I really...

I really wanna preserve my family.

Come here.

[Josh groaning, Sarah Jo sighing]

[sultry jazz playing]

[Treina sobbing]

[Marilyn] Oh, good. It's your turn.

I... I can't with her anymore.

Been at it for hours.

[sobbing continues]

Oh, and, honey, when you're done,

can you help me figure out how to put this air purifier together?

-Treina? -[Treina sobbing]

-Tre? -[Treina] Leave me alone.

It's me, it's just me.

He said to definitely check again

'cause this shit is not his.

Which shit?

The baby, Sarah Jo, the baby!

[sobbing]

Here you go.

They're all scum, you know? Mom's right.

They're all just waiting to reveal their scumminess,

even the good ones.

Maybe...

Maybe he doesn't understand.

Maybe if you explain to him that he's the only person you've had sex with.

But he's not the only one, Sarah Jo.

I have some fucking math to do.

-[sobbing] -Okay.

I'm so fucking stupid.

No, you're not.

You're not stupid.

It's okay.

Someday, someday...

you are gonna find...

you're gonna find someone who makes you feel safe.

Like they see you.

And you won't have to say a word.

How would you know?

[Loyal Lobos playing "Whatever It Is"]

Right back!

♪ I think my shirt was still on, I was face down ♪

♪ Anyway we did it was fine

♪ You turn my days into night time... ♪

-Psst! -[indistinct conversation]

-[Yuli] Did you see how this goes together? -[Zach] No.

Like they're touching you.

[Josh] Welcome to Yuliville. [chuckles] You're gonna love it.

-[Sarah Jo] Where is he? -[Josh] He's like doing Yuli shit, I don't know.

How freaking cool is this?

♪ Gave me something you bought for your ex... ♪

[softly] Remember, you got that family emergency,

and I am doing the business thing with Yuli.

It's just really important that we just keep this stuff

totally between you and me.

[Sarah Jo] I haven't told one single soul.

-[Josh] Hey-o! -[Sarah Jo laughing]

Whoo!

♪ Baby, I'm a soldier

♪ Shooting places I can't see right ♪

♪ Crowded spaces make me scared ♪

♪ And it's hard to feel deep sometimes ♪

♪ But whatever it is I feel with you ♪

♪ I want it to last for a while ♪

It's yours, huh?

Beautiful.

You can have it.

Bite it.

[whispering] My mother always said that it would put me too far into my head.

[chuckles] What?

You...

Your mom?

I mean, I'm, I'm right here. I'll...

Hey, I'm not gonna let you go too far into your head.

I'm not gonna let anything bad happen to you.

Only if you want.

Wagga-wagga.

[laughs] Wagga-wagga.

Yeah.

I also got shrooms.

If you felt like eating some.

-I mean... -[coughs]

I figure...

You okay? Yeah?

Mm-hmm.

If you wanna eat some, we could eat some.

-Shrooms? -Mm-hmm.

What do they do?

They make you see things,

like if there's something that you've been avoiding

or that you, you like keep it

in a box that you don't wanna see,

they make you see 'em, and they make you see 'em clearly.

It can be super beautiful.

I don't think I'm avoiding anything.

You know, I don't think you're avoiding anything either.

I think you might really fuckin' love mushrooms.

[chuckles]

[romantic jazz playing]

[Sarah Jo moaning]

I remember when you said you didn't like that.

[Sarah Jo laughs]

[Josh] Now you do.

[laughs]

I love that you learned to like it.

Come here.

Okay.

It's beautiful, just like you.

Gotta put it on you.

Look at it.

I want you to have that.

You are such a special...

It's a magical gift to me.

Unlike anything else in the world.

I've been thinking...

that I'm gonna leave.

You and me and Z, with our own little special family.

I know where we're going.

I said, "Whaaat?"

I've never had that before.

I've never had a life before.

[chuckles]

[woman moaning on computer]

Wait, wait, so there are lots of different people who do this?

[chuckles] "Lots" is an understatement.

I mean, there's a fucking ton.

[deep voice] I mean, there is so much porn!

You find like a special brand that you like,

you know, a actor that you dig, like look.

That's Bobbi Rotten right there. I like Bobbi Rotten.

She looks like she'd totally fuckin' destroy me.

[laughs] Kind of scared of her.

I don't know, so you just pick one you like

and off you go.

[kisses] Do you know that?

-I'm concentrating. -[chuckles] Oh, yeah.

-You concentrating, professor? -Mm!

Mm? Yeah. [silly voice] "I'm concentrating."

"I'm Sarah Jo and I'm concentrating on the pornography."

"Yeah, I wanna..."

-Shh! I can't... -[continuing silly voice]

I can't listen to you and this at the same time.

-[Josh] I'm sorry. -[camera shutter clicking]

[man] Up here, gorge.

You look sick.

[Treina] You're getting the top of my...?

[man] I'm getting all of you. It is amazing.

You look so good. Oh, my God.

[Treina] I feel like shit.

Beautiful.

Jace.

-Oh, thank you. -Thank you.

-Thank you for coming. -Thank you for having me.

-Here you go, babe. -Just always believed in the power of ritual.

You know, it's like magic

we can all tap into in our daily lives.

And like energy and love,

it can neither be created nor destroyed.

Absolutely. Love that.

[Marilyn] Mm.

Mm, I was just getting started.

I was speaking to the power of ritual

and saying how even if Treina can't bring this baby forth

in the Earth realm,

we can still usher its spirit forth with a baby shower.

[Jace] This is intensely cool, like so wild.

I mean, it is sick.

Like good sick. Like it's an iconic moment.

[Marilyn] Oh.

Well, it's for Tre.

So...

with an abundance of gifts and love,

we show this child that it was wanted,

even if it could not be completed.

And we resonate the power

of our unbreakable love for Treina

and her ability to produce life.

Now, gifts.

[paper crinkling]

No!

Jace, it's so cute.

A onesie. What the fuck am I supposed to do with this?

I thought we were bringing like actual presents

for an actual baby.

Huge apologies.

You know what, I also brought a candle

and some old Percocet from when I had my wisdoms out.

-Ooh, you lucky dog. -Mm-hmm.

Mama's gonna be joining in on some of that.

[Jace] I brought enough for everyone, so don't worry.

Can't believe you still have some.

-And this. -That's from me.

Ooh.

It's broken.

It's sacred, though.

It's made of love, and like Mama always says,

love can neither be created nor destroyed.

[Jace] Well, I think that is beautiful, Sarah Jo.

[Marilyn] Did you enjoy your anesthesia?

[Jace] I did, it was unbelievable.

-[Marilyn] Really? -There's nothing like it.

I like laughing gas, too, but the anesthesia's better.

[Marilyn] Oh, it's so much better. I think we should get you some.

[Sarah Jo] Two people

having sex together.

[woman sighing, gasping]

[man sighing]

[woman moaning]

[woman] Oh, come and lick my face.

[woman moaning]

You're so fuckin' beautiful, it makes me wanna fuckin' kill myself.

You're so pretty.

This ain't dirty.

It ain't.

I feel so connected to you.

Congratulations, Vance Leroy.

You are my porn star.

That's so beautiful.

[Heather sighs, groans]

-[Heather] Ow! -[whispering] Okay.

Go watch a movie. Go on.

[Heather whimpering]

[Heather] Ow!

Oh, my God.

Okay.

My water broke and I slipped in it.

I think I'm having a contraction.

Thank you. Thank you very much.

-Okay. -Oh, God.

-Oh, God. -There you go.

Okay.

Oh! Oh, God.

-Should I call an ambulance? -Can you call Josh?

He's on a hike with Yuli. I think they just left.

-He's not that far. -[phone dialing]

-Oh! -Josh, hi.

She's in labor right now. Right now.

It's coming fast.

Okay, okay.

Okay.

He's gonna be here soon.

What else do you need?

A towel.

Where did you get that necklace?

County fair with my sister.

Treina.

[door opens]

[Josh] ♪ It's baby time, baby time, ba-ba-baby time ♪

Holy shit! It's real, bab--

Baby, I'm gone, what, 30 minutes, you're like fuckin' ready to pop?

Okay, super dad, have the bags packed.

Where is Z? Is Z upstairs?

I called your mom and I told her we're coming through.

I'm just gonna throw this shit in the car.

You know, I'm gonna leave 'em here.

Hey, sorry, baby, I feel like we should get going, okay?

-The Volvo's out there. -I wanna take an ambulance.

No, no, baby, why would we call an ambulance...

[laughing] ...when I'm gonna fucking drive you? Z!

I'm gonna drive you, let's go. Come on.

Call an ambulance. I wanna take an ambulance.

Should I call you an ambulance, baby? Why don't I get you a taxicab?

I'm driving you. Come on, let's go!

I'm taking an ambulance to the hospital.

And I can take care of Zach.

He's going to my mother's.

I'm taking an ambulance to the hospital.

Hey, baby, we're having a baby. We're having a baby.

What is the problem?

[Heather] Fuck you!

Stay the fuck away from me.

What is the problem?

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

What's going on? What are...

What did she say to you?

You're such a fucking loser.

Hang on, what did you...

[Heather] You're a fucking animal.

What did you say to my... What did you say?

[slaps floor] What did you say?

What the fuck did you do?

I was really scared, baby.

You were scared?

-I was scared. -You were scared?

Yeah, I'm so sorry.

-You were scared? -Yeah.

[Heather] So, what am I supposed to do with this one?

Josh, where am I supposed to file this one?

Wait, baby, I'm so sorry.

-This could be like the lawyer... -[Josh] Fuck.

-[Heather] ...where you just ended it on your own. -Come on, baby.

Or is this gonna be like the stripper...

where I had to stop you from moving to Quebec?

Or is this gonna be like the girl who worked at the bridal store on Melrose

who kept showing up at places we were eating with our son?

But I know...

I really, I really know that I love you.

Okay? And I know that's like... I love Zach.

I love Zach and I'm so sorry, baby.

-I'm so sorry. -[Heather] No!

I'm just a fuck-up. I mean, I'm a fucking fuck-up.

I've always been a fucking fuck-up,

and you know that and I know that

and I'm fucking disgusting and fucking pathetic.

But it's just who I am, baby.

I'm so sorry, I'm so ashamed of myself.

But, sweetheart, I promise you, if you give me one chance...

like I would fucking kill for you.

I would kill for you, I would kill for this family.

I would... I would kill for Zach and I would kill for this baby.

Baby, she doesn't fucking mean anything to me.

She doesn't fucking mean anything to me.

-Hey! Sweetheart, please. -No, no, no!

Please! Please, baby, come on.

Please. Come on.

Let's go to the hospital and have this baby,

this beautiful baby that we made.

Please, sweetheart?

-Please? -[Heather whimpering]

Please, baby, don't cry. Sarah Jo, could you please go?

Sarah Jo, guess what, you're not needed here anymore.

Could you please go?

Sarah Jo, could you please go?!

Okay.

Baby, she's gone, okay?

-Hey. Hey. -[bluesy ballad playing]

Don't touch me.

-No, no, no, no, no. -Please don't touch me.

Come on, sweetheart, listen.

Listen, I'm here for you. I'm here for this baby, okay?

-Please don't touch me. -I'm never gonna fuck up again, okay?

[Treina] Sister, can you come take this full body for my Insta?

I got some of these amazing angles,

but I can't get my face and my butt in the shot.

Bitch, are you deaf?

[Julia Jacklin] ♪ ...hot, weak and thin

♪ Too tired to run away

♪ What do I do now?

♪ There's nothing left to say

♪ Don't know how to keep loving you ♪

♪ Now that I know you too well ♪

♪ Don't know how to keep loving you ♪

♪ Now that I know you so well

♪ Don't know how to keep loving you ♪

♪ Now that I know you too well ♪

♪ I just wanna keep loving you... ♪

[breathing erratically]

[Vance exhales sharply]

Oh, my God, Amber. [gasps]

You have such a strong back. It's almost primal.

-[laughing] Are you a martial artist or something? -[Amber sighing]

I just wanna say, I admire your commitment to personal expression.

-Mm. -It's almost humbling.

Julie Jo, hey.

I just wanna say, I was raised with sisters,

and I feel that strength in you.

See you on the other side.

[Sarah Jo] Dear Vance Leroy, you are my favorite porn star.

It took me some digging to find you.

Most of the men reminded me of garbage collectors or my old stepdads,

but I like the way that you use your body almost like a gymnast,

and the fact that, like me, you have a scar

and you're not afraid to show it to the world.

You're not worried about looking perfect all the time,

and you even laugh occasionally while doing it.

I could do without the tattoos, but, guess what,

not everyone is perfect, least of all me.

You must have a lot of fans,

but I bet you don't have any like me.

For starters, I was a porn virgin until I met you,

and I was an actual virgin until like a month before that.

Speaking of me, Vance, I've had my heart broken.

I was having a clandestine affair with a married man

and I know, I know that makes me sound like I have no morals or scruples,

but the situation was very complicated.

You see, I'm not someone who was destined to find love,

and so when it appears in my path, I have to take it.

Judge me all you want, but I know my truth, Vance,

and I'm turning it over and over, trying to understand why

and how this could have happened to me.

I gave my soul and body to this man and promised him every fiber of my being

and every day of my future and then just in an instant...

-Sarah Jo, could you please go! -...as fast as it began, his eyes turned black

-and I was nothing to him. -Just go!

And then it hit me, Vance,

as clear as the air after it rains in Malibu.

Am I bad at sex?

I thought I was good at it,

but maybe that's just because I had so much fun.

Suddenly I started to remember

not just the good and beautiful moments,

but I also remembered the parts where I was confused.

[exhaling noisily]

[chuckles]

No, no, no, baby, uh...

I don't know how to tell you.

Um, you don't have to like blow on it.

Or a little bit scared.

You all right?

Or it just didn't work.

[Shontelle] ♪ I did, and you were strong and I was not ♪

♪ My illusion, my mistake

♪ I was careless...

Oww!

Maybe everything I didn't know how to do

made me impossible to truly love.

[Josh] Fuckin' broke my dick.

And maybe if I knew it all,

nobody would ever have the chance

to do this to me again,

because, Vance, I cannot, I will not take it.

And so I must execute a plan.

♪ Write it on the skyline

♪ All we had is gone now

♪ Tell them all I know now

♪ Shout it from the rooftops

♪ Write it on the skyline

♪ All we had is gone now

♪ Tell them I was happy

♪ And my heart is broken

♪ All my scars are open

♪ Tell them what I hoped would be ♪

♪ Impossible, impossible

♪ Impossible, impossible

♪ Impossible

♪ Impossible

♪ Impossible

-♪ Impossible -♪ Let me tell you now...

[Sarah Jo] I have to be brave. I have to be strong, like when I was a kid

and the doctor was taking blood and said, "This will just be a sharp stick,"

and I would know it was going to hurt more than they said

and therefore beat them to it in my mind.

That was my power.

♪ I did

Good night, Vance.

[horns honking]

[traffic passing]

But seriously, this job is kind of cool

because they have the catalog girls, you know.

Then if you really impress them, they'll have you work runway

and sometimes these, like, really big celebrity parties.

[Marilyn] But they have to pay for that.

They can't just send you free clothes.

[Treina] Mom, you're not listening.

The free clothes are a bonus.

[Marilyn] Bonus? So you have a contract, or...?

-[Treina] It's not about a contract. -Okay.

I get really frustrated because I always feel like I have to start

-from the beginning with you, and you're not listening. -I'm so sorry.

-[Treina] So I post a photo from Double Kisses. -[Marilyn] Got it.

[Treina] I put "Double Kisses Ambassador,"

or "Partner," sorry, in the hashtag.

Then they give me a special code. "Use my code for 10% off."

-[Marilyn] So someone gets 10% off and you get money how? -Yeah. And then, basically,

if enough people click on my link, like you know when I do my--

-Just tell me you're not getting paid, it's fine. -I am getting paid!

[knock on door]

[man] Hey there, little creature.

Hello. Come in.

[man] Nice spot.

So, you like pink?

Not really. Did you bring the stuff?

-Stuff? -The lube?

[man] Uh... Oh, man, I plain forgot.

[sighs]

There's a lot of plastic in here.

Say, you're not gonna murder me, are you?

My mom's renovating.

[man] Wait a minute, your mom's here?

Need me to go slower?

No.

[faucet running]

[Sarah Jo] Dear Vance Leroy,

is there a way to look into someone's eyes

and be sure that they won't kill you?

-[man] Tell me when you're ready. -I'm ready.

-I'm ready. -I'm ready.

I don't mind a little rough-housing,

but I do, like most ladies, have a line.

Some of these guys go too fast, others go too slow.

Others don't realize they weigh twice as much as me, and others stay too long

-looking at my personal things and asking personal questions. -[man] How bad do you want it?

-Bad. -Last night a man came in here hoping I would play dead

so that he could pretend to bury me.

Of course I said no because that is not on my list

and frankly it's a waste of my time,

but I kept thinking, "Vance will love this story."

I am also wondering if you prefer an untamed bush

or a quote-unquote "clean snatch."

-[man] Are you ready? You sure? -Yes.

My research says that I have what are known as tiny titties,

although I do sort of wish I had big milky naturals, you know, jugs.

Really bad.

Maybe then some of these guys would just come, already.

Thank you for being a real friend.

Yours in truth, Sarah Jo.

[Marilyn] Oh, Tre, of all the ridiculous things you could have done.

Mom, you've always taught me that self-expression is paramount.

Yeah, what happens when you get a great film role

that needs to feature your neck?

Then what?

And what does it even mean?

"God's favorite sinner."

It's a sick tattoo, Mama.

[knock on door]

[Sarah Jo] Hello.

Hey, what... [clears throat] Hey, what's up?

Nothing much. Do you wanna come in?

Sure. Um...

I'm Arvin. You can call me Arv, though.

Everybody calls me Arv.

You're Bernice, right? Do people ever call you Bernie?

-I... I guess so, yeah. -[bottles rattling]

Well, you look just as cute as the pictures. Um... do you want a spritzer?

Honestly, I'd rather just get to it, if you'd still like the blow job that I offered.

I mean... of course.

But... don't think I'm insane or anything, but...

don't you think they're a bit better with a little context, so to speak, or...?

No, I don't wanna do that. I just really wanna get to the blow job.

Okay, well, blow jobs might seem like a big deal to most guys,

but... I'm gonna let you in on a dirty little secret.

I... I see thousands of them a day.

I work in porn.

-You work in porn? -Yeah, not like a big shot like a porn star guy or anything,

but, you know, just an assistant.

I run around and grab water, shit like that.

So if you work in porn, does that mean

that you meet all of the porn celebrities though?

Yeah, a lot of them.

[whispering] Have you met Vance Leroy?

You're a Vance Leroy fan. Classic.

Sweet guy.

Could you give him a letter I wrote for him?

-A letter? -[knock on door]

-[door opens] -Hey, you have Mom's back massager?

She's having a really bad spasm again.

-No, I don't have it. -Are you sure?

-I've never taken it. -Is someone in here?

No.

Oh, hey, I'm Arvin.

Hey.

Ow, my tattoo.

He's a friend from class and he's leaving any second now.

Nice jeans.

Almost got those shoes.

All right, bye, Marvin.

[Arvin] Bye.

[Treina, teasingly] Sarah Jo!

Who the hell is that?

She's my sister.

-She's cute. -I know.

She's not, like, cuter than you.

Listen, if you want the blow job that I offer you,

that's fine, but I... we... can we get started?

Because I have a lot of things I need to do.

Shit, okay, I'm sorry. Well, you know,

if you just want to hang out another time, that's fine.

No, I don't think so.

Okay, well, uh, I can grab that letter if you want.

Vance?

[bottles rattling]

Jesus Christ, man.

Did you write a book over there or something?

Don't look.

How many chapters in that thing, man?

-[paper tearing] -No?

This is a big act of trust.

Gotcha.

I am insane to do this.

But you know where to find me if he answers.

Well...

[sighs]

Enjoy the spritzers, and, uh...

I'll let you know how this goes.

Okay, later.

Goodbye.

[rock music playing]

♪ Gimme more of the same

♪ A heavy heart

♪ And a sinking feeling

[Yuli] Tali, can we get a... a little top-up over here?

Thank you, mama.

Thank you, Tali.

[Tali, drily] Any time.

[whispering] That's Yuli?

Yeah. You wanna go say hi?

Can you pull your mask down a little?

My God, you're beautiful.

Perfect. Lips together, teeth apart.

Actually, maybe just smile.

Great. Now, you cannot go wrong with a smile.

I'm gonna get you a drink. What do you want?

I don't know.

Okay.

Uh... oh.

White wine.

Just gonna start with a simple white wine.

Okay. Yes, great.

Amazing.

Hello.

Hello.

Do we know each other from somewhere?

No.

I just like your...

your shirt.

[laughs] Okay.

Thanks. Yeah.

You know, it's a good shirt.

I like your bow.

You don't see those every day.

Thank you.

I don't go out very much

and so I thought I'd put in a little special decoration.

Yeah, well, you know, you look like a little Christmas tree.

[giggling]

Oh, yo!

What... Uh...

You didn't want me to touch you?

No, wait, you know, I didn't say all that, but...

I like your face.

You are a weird

and lovely surprise.

You wanna hear a secret?

[whispering] I control the music here.

You wanna do some coke?

Hey, Tali, you can go.

I'll lock up, ma.

Oh. Fancy that.

[Yuli] Mm-hmm, mm-hmm...

-[Sarah Jo] Mmm. -Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

-Mm-hmm. -Mm-hmm.

[sniffs]

[Yuli] Whoa.

[Sarah Jo] Ow!

[Yuli] You okay?

Yeah.

I feel happy.

[whispering] Do you want a blow job?

[Yuli] Hmm?

-[sighs] -I wanna give you a blow job.

[Yuli, whispering] I wanna fuck you.

I wanna give you a blow job.

-[screams] -[buttons rattling on floor]

[Sarah Jo] I said blow job. I only said blow job.

[Yuli] Uh, I'm confused.

I mean, I'm...

[laughing] ...like...

I mean, come on.

But I'm...

I'm really, really sorry about your dress.

[Treina] Hang on, I can't hear you.

I'm trying to take a picture of my breakfast.

-Portrait mode... -[Marilyn] Well, they used to make this

at all the fancy boutique hotels so I did my version.

Tell me if you like it.

Can you stop scratching your vagina?

I'm not scratching my vagina.

-You really fuckin' are. -Am not.

[Marilyn] I will pay you both a million dollars

to not say "vagina" before 10 a.m.

Okay, fine, then stop scratching "it."

[Marilyn] Honey, are you okay?

Is it a wiping thing?

Maybe take an oatmeal bath or something?

Yo, guys, it's your boy, Vance. I'm not even kidding. Someone's gotta call the cops.

I got too many boobs up in my face.

I'm worried I'm gonna suffocate.

You know, before you girls went busting on in here, I was about to have...

-[knocking] Sarah Jo? -...a major epiphany on this graffiti I'm working on.

It's Mercedes.

We've missed you in class.

I know you're not at your placement

at Josh and Heather's anymore.

They didn't give a reason for your departure.

Are you okay, Sarah Jo?

I don't know what's going on with you

at home or in your heart,

but you're such a good care giver.

It would be a shame if you stopped helping these kids,

because they really need you.

We have a girl in Pasadena who needs someone.

Her name is Laila. She has cerebral palsy.

I think you two would really love each other.

-[taps keyboard] -[Vance] All right, fuck it.

Which one of you healing queens wants to take a ride on papa's shoulders?

-[women tittering] -That's it.

[Vance laughing]

I'm in goddamn love, you guys.

You're my best friends.

My best fuckin' friends.

I'm dead without you.

D-E-A-D. I think that's how you spell it.

-[Heather] Go! -[Josh] Let's go. Good boy.

-[Heather] Good boy! -[Josh] Look at the man!

-[Heather] This is a fun walk! -[Josh] Look at the man!

-[Heather] This is a fun walk! -[Josh] Look at the man!

[Heather] It's a good day. We're walking in the sunshine.

♪ Doo-dee-doo You like bagels?

-[Josh] ♪ Gonna get bagels -[Heather] Let's be careful!

-Hey! -Hold on.

Just so you know, in the last month,

I've done anal and I've done bukkake

and cream pie and fisting

and a hand job and rimming and pegging and all of it!

[Josh] What the fuck, Sarah Jo?

Oh, and I almost gave Yuli a blow job.

-[Zach] Sarah. -[Heather] Are you fucking kidding me?

You're the most fucking, obnoxious person I've ever met.

Take him, take him.

[Josh] I'm holding the baby, you pick him up.

[Heather] I still have stitches in my vagina.

-Can you pick this...? -Come on, Z, Z.

He doesn't wanna go up. You told him he's taking a walk,

-and now we're not gonna take the walk? -I don't want to take a walk.

I didn't know she was gonna be there.

She might be hiding in the fucking bushes, you fucking asshole.

[Josh] Watch your language. What is the matter with you?

-[Heather] Hey, what is the matter with me? -[Josh] Get ahold of yourself.

[Heather] Are you kidding? Get ahold of myself?

-Great, stand there and scream. That's awesome, good for you. -You monster!

SJ.

I need you for a sec.

One second!

Wow!

Right?

You look so beautiful.

How sick is this?

The company I'm working with

is sending me the sickest shit.

Can you do pics?

Your bed is amazing for this.

Do we want flowers?

No.

[phone clicking]

Should I do the fan?

[Sarah Jo] Mm-hmm.

Lay it around.

Who was that guy the other day?

Let me see.

Nobody. It was just some... some guy from class.

Eww! Cute.

Do you like him?

-No. -Do you even get crushes?

Not really.

Ugh. I don't get it.

I feel like I have to have a crush,

like I was born with a crush.

I was like in the nursery crushing on a fetus.

Are you still sad about Harder?

That dude? Fuck no. He can barely read.

How do you get over them so quickly?

'Cause there's literally a million of them.

You saw how many fucking husbands mom had.

It was like a joke.

I can't get their faces straight.

It's like one big denim lap.

"Me Eric, me Bob, me..."

You remember how mom used to have you scare off

her really bad one-night stands?

Like, you in that cat costume.

You'd be like drinking water from one bowl,

eating your yogurt from the other fucking bowl.

Like rubbing your butt on the wall,

flicking your tail,

-meowing, purring. -[Sarah Jo meows]

And we'd just be like, "Oh, yeah, that's just our family cat."

And then I'd hiss at them when they'd leave.

That's the thing, SJ.

Say what you will about mom,

but she understands this one important fact:

there's always another one.

And another one.

And another one.

Like, you can literally replace the feeling

with an even better one than you expected.

[whispering] Always.

Sir? Mark, sir.

I'm just kindly checking in about rent again, Mark.

-[Arvin] Howdy. -Mark...

[softly] What are you doing here?

Meet me over there.

[laughs]

You like your presents?

Yes. The lights and the DVD were very neat.

Well, I got something a whole lot better.

Arvin, I don't have time for a big chat right now.

I'm very busy, I don't have time.

What, more blow jobs or...?

[clears throat]

Tough crowd. Um...

Well...

Take this. Watch it alone in your room later.

It's, um...

I'll be back to get the praise I deserve,

'cause Arvin's really outdone himself today.

So, I'll see you later, right?

[Sarah Jo] No.

[laughs] Sick. I'll see you later.

-[Arvin] Hey, Vance, what's up, man? -Yo.

Sorry to bug you, but did you have a chance to check on my friend's letter to you?

Oh, shit, man, yeah, yeah, yeah.

-Are you recording right now? -[Arvin] Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Vance] Come here. Come here, Come here, this way.

Follow me, follow me, follow me.

This light good?

-[Arvin] Uh, yeah, bro. -Cool.

[exhales sharply]

Hey, Sarah Jo.

I read your letters. They were so meaningful to me.

You really poured your heart out and you showed me that the way I do my thing

made you more free in yourself, and that shit is very beautiful to me.

I mean, I ain't gonna lie, teared the fuck up.

Now, I know you're going through a heartbreak right now,

but I just wanna say that shit did not happen because you didn't fuck right, okay?

People split up for all kinds of fucking reasons,

and it's very rarely because someone isn't a sex genius.

You know why?

Nobody is a sex genius.

Nobody. Not even your boy Vance.

Look, good sex requires chemistry between two people,

and two people who care.

I mean... somebody would think I'm bad at sex

if it's the wrong situation, and as you know,

uh, I'm considered kind of an expert in the field.

So this is what I want you to do, okay?

I want you to stop.

Stop striving to please everyone else, right?

Start striving to please you.

You're with a guy and the conversation's dead

and your pussy feels dead, you shut it down.

You're with a guy and he's hot but you feel like in a month

you're gonna have to take out a restraining order, boom...

you shut that shit down.

You keep focusing on you and try to find your real true kinks,

the rest of it's gonna work itself out.

Oh, and shit, yeah, you be proud of your fuckin' scars.

Be proud of your fuckin' scars. Be proud of your fuckin' scars.

I thank my stepfather every day for this honker, you know why?

'Cause it set me apart, it made me the big bucks.

I mean, look at this shit. I'm in California, baby.

Difference is something to celebrate and rock hard.

[kisses] Big love, girl.

[Arvin] Thank you so much, dude,

but her name's actually Bernice, so do you...

[upbeat music playing]

No!

You got me with my meatball!

-No! -Food fight!

No!

No!

We have to resuscitate. Resuscitate!

Are you alive?

-Yeah. -Yes!

Laila is such a sweet little girl.

She's so happy

and she's so determined

and she never lets her pain get in the way.

Like you.

What?

When you were little and you had all those surgeries.

You still went to school.

You still showed up at Girl Scouts.

Swam every day.

She's a special little girl.

Like you.

[Treina] It's true.

Can you pass me my phone?

Wait, I'm going wide.

Oh, no!

[knocking on door]

-Bernie, what's up? What's up? -Hi.

-[bottles rattle] -Um, whew!

Can't believe you actually wanna hang out.

Never thought I'd see the day.

Well...

tonight I'd put the spritzers to rest and...

brought out the big boys.

You know, since we're real homies,

I found this appropriate.

It was very nice what you did for me, Arvin.

I mean, it's all in a day's work.

It's all in a day's freakin' work.

Though I do need to find a place to stay

'cause somebody at the Electra warehouse

got tested positive for Covid-19...

Oh, no, no, it wasn't me.

It had nothing to do with me. I don't even know the guy.

But, you know, it's not like it would stop me anyways.

I... just keep going and...

[laughs]

-Oh, sorry. -Sorry.

[both] Jinx.

-You owe me a rim job. -You owe me a soda pop.

I'm just gonna shut up and enjoy this.

[Arvin sighs]

This feels really good.

-Just keep going. -Okay.

[Josh] You okay?

Shh-shh, wait...

[sighing]

Okay, good, good.

[Shuga playing "Stay Wild"]

♪ Butter melts in your mouth

♪ You're the king of the plain ♪

♪ In this lion's game

♪ And when you come by

♪ I always think of you

♪ Yes, I do

♪ Rough diamond

♪ You're a stray cat

♪ And where we gonna meet at?

♪ Stay wild

♪ And don't ever change

♪ Stay wild

♪ And don't be afraid

♪ I'm pleading on my hands

♪ And knees

♪ I'm tryin' so hard

♪ To please

♪ Oh, I love your

♪ Wild streak

♪ That so many cannot keep

♪ Rough diamond

♪ You're a stray cat

♪ And where we gonna

♪ Meet at?

♪ Stay wild

♪ And don't ever change

♪ Stay wild

♪ And don't be afraid

No!

Stay wild.

Stay wild...

Yeah!

♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh

♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh

♪ Stay wild

♪ And don't ever change

♪ Stay wild

♪ And don't be afraid

♪ Stay wild

♪ And don't ever change

♪ Stay wild

♪ And don't be afraid

♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

♪ No, don't be afraid

♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

♪ No, don't be afraid

♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

♪ Stay wild

♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

♪ Ooh-ooh

-♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh -♪ Stay wild

♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh

[Alex Cameron

playing "Best Life"]

♪ There's nothin' like the feelin' ♪

♪ Of when you do a thing

♪ Or just wake up like this

♪ Like, what even is life?

♪ I guess I'm just winning

♪ But I get no reaction

♪ My comments just don't rank

♪ Or my postings

♪ I wish that she said yes

♪ I wish I could say thanks

♪ But I never feel her presence ♪

♪ Online

♪ Online

♪ Religion's not for some people ♪

♪ I'm sick of followin' these rules, baby ♪

♪ And wonderin' why

♪ Yo, when they ask you how you're doin', baby ♪

♪ Don't think twice

♪ Just say, "I'm out here"

♪ "Livin' my best life"

♪ A follow for a follow

♪ I'm buried in the feed

♪ It makes my eyes bleed

♪ I'm sorry, not sorry

♪ It's too long, I can't read

♪ You say I shouldn't worry

♪ But you would never know how it feels to worry ♪

♪ 'Cause you never had a presence ♪

♪ Online

♪ Online

♪ Religion's not for some people ♪

♪ I'm sick of followin' these rules, baby ♪

♪ And wonderin' why

♪ Yo, when they ask you how you're doin', baby ♪

♪ Don't think twice

♪ Just say, "I'm out here"

♪ "Livin' my best life"

♪ Online

♪ Religion's not for some people ♪

♪ I'm sick of followin' these rules, baby ♪

♪ And wonderin' why

♪ Yo, when they ask you how you're doin', baby ♪

♪ Don't think twice

♪ Just say, "I'm out here"

♪ "Livin' my best life"