Original subtitles

-Lie next to me, Josh.

[GIGGLING]

-Come on, Manny.

Lie down.

It's peaceful here.

-Yeah.

[GIGGLING]

-Kids, this isn't funny.

-Sure it is.

-How can you possibly think this is funny?

-Come on, Dad.

It's one of those things, you know?

It's kinda funny, kind of sick.

[CHUCKLING]

-Come on, isn't it funny?

Us lying next to our dead big sister?

-Click.

Family portrait.

-And this is how you pay your respects?

Well, this is bullshit.

I'll be in the car.

-You want to know what's really bullshit?

The fact that we might as well all be dead.

Was she all that mattered to you, Dad?

[CAR DOOR CLOSING]

-Mom and Dad know you drink.

They can smell it on your breath, you know.

Not that they care.

Are you gonna smoke weed?

Just remember all the brain cells you're killing.

-So how do I look?

-Adorable.

-Adorable?

-Adorable.

Or not.

-Hold on.

I gotta pee.

[URINATING]

-Sam.

Sam!

I wish you could come with me.

Samantha?

[MUSIC PLAYING]

-Oh, I've been looking for you.

-I gotta get out of here.

-No. Not yet.

Please?

The guys here are total losers.

Come dance with me.

Come on.

Come on, be a good brother.

-Hamlet and the gravedigger talk about the brevity

of life and death as the great equalizer.

It's interesting that this scene is so often cut

from productions, because it's crucial to Hamlet's story,

wouldn't you agree?

Right.

Now remember, in the beginning, Hamlet

is so afraid of his father's ghost and the prospect

of his own death, and now he's playing with Yorik's skull.

That's kind of a quick turnaround, don't you think?

He's beginning to accept death as an inevitable part of life.

Now, the audience knows that Ophelia's

dead, which is an example of--

-Dramatic irony.

-Dramatic irony, right.

Because Hamlet is unaware.

Now, there's also a lot of mystery surrounding

the cause of Ophelia's death.

Gertrude describes it as an accident.

But the priest argues that her death was doubtful and denies

her full burial rights by the church.

Now, why would they do that?

Any thoughts?

Yes?

-Um, bathroom?

-Fine.

Any other thoughts?

Anyone at all?

-Amanda, you are so demented.

-I am so out of here.

You coming?

-Why are we ditching Mr. Evans' class?

He's so hot.

-Come on, I'll be your best friend.

-You already are.

Katie, Katie, Katie.

-I know.

Let's get some coffee now.

-Oh, are your parents gonna be home tonight?

-No.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

-That's nice.

Aw, cutie.

Take my picture.

Come on.

-OK.

That's a good one, Sam.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

-Would you stop doing that?

It's creepy.

-Ryan is the hottest boy at Stevens.

-And also the biggest douche bag.

Why do you even like Ryan?

-Oh, come on.

Ben likes him.

-He just doesn't have a very good reputation.

-Why should you be the only girl with a boyfriend?

You and Ben are legit chained at the hip.

-Ben and I aren't the issue here.

-I don't understand what your problem is.

-Whatever.

-Your brother's a freak.

-Hey, Katie.

-Hey, Josh.

-I can't believe this-- shit.

-Either I join or you guys are so busted.

-Like Mom and Dad give a shit.

-God, she looks just like Samantha.

Smile, Manny.

That's classy.

[LAUGHTER]

-So class.

[LAUGHTER]

[MUSIC AND CONVERSATION]

-Hey, Katie.

Why don't you kiss my brother?

-Why?

-Because I said so.

Get in there.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[LAUGHTER]

-Is she a good kisser, Josh?

-See for yourself.

KATIE (OFFSCREEN): Right.

-Nice.

Nice.

AMANDA (OFFSCREEN): You are such a typical guy.

KATIE (OFFSCREEN): Totally.

-What?

-How about you guys?

Do it.

-What?

KATIE (OFFSCREEN): Do it.

-Shut up.

KATIE (OFFSCREEN): What?

[LAUGHTER]

-You are such a perv!

Ugh.

-Oh come on.

Katie, why don't you just finish what you started?

[BEEP]

-This is Mrs. Kildoff from attendance.

Amanda left school early today, and we

need you to call as soon as--

[BEEP]

-Morning, kids.

-Good morning, Dad.

-Good morning, Mr. Anderson.

-I'll be late.

-We should just start, like, a little,

like, log of shit, right?

Just, like, a book, with, like, every day

we have, like, one solid idea. JOSH (OFFSCREEN): Yeah.

Yeah.

-So let's just start. JOSH (OFFSCREEN): OK.

All right, yeah.

-You can't make art without starting, right?

JOSH (OFFSCREEN): No, not at all.

-All right, let's just fucking start.

JOSH (OFFSCREEN): Yeah, fucking let's start, man.

-OK.

All right.

Uh, out loud or write them down?

JOSH (OFFSCREEN): Out loud.

-OK.

Who starts?

-Um, a store full of mannequins comes alive after hours,

and they sing and dance.

-That sounds like a musical.

-No, no.

They'd be like mannequins in the Korova Milk Bar, remember?

Singing and drinking milk plus.

To sharpen you up, get you ready for a bit

of the old ultra-violence.

-Mm, sounds big budget.

-It's cool, though.

Right?

-Uh, less than 10 minutes, right?

-Yeah, go.

-Yo, yo. hold on a sec, J.

[VIBRATING]

[BEEPING]

-Oh.

Hey, they're throwing a party for Mickey,

and Ryan wants me to come.

-He so wants you.

-Yes!

-A son tells his parents he wants a sex change operation.

-OK.

-Wait.

The, uh-- the father is this Bull Meechum sort

of macho prick, and he's got no short term memory.

So the son has to keep telling him over and over again.

-"Great Santini" meets "Memento?"

-Meets "Brokeback Mountain."

-Yo, that's dope, dude.

[BEEPING]

-There's a party tonight.

Amanda says we should go.

-Not me.

-Yeah, you.

-Josh, how are we going to collaborate next year

with you in LA and me stuck here in the city?

-Dude, we write all year and shoot in the summer.

It's simple.

-We said we'd go to the same school.

-Did I ask you to get rejected?

-Uh, where's your pot?

-In the closet.

-It's gonna get pretty boring if you keep it on me.

JOSH (OFFSCREEN): Well, maybe tonight you'll

finally get some, and I'm gonna document it.

-Yeah, "Loser Gets Lucky."

JOSH (OFFSCREEN): Nice.

-Give it to me.

I want to shoot. JOSH (OFFSCREEN): No way.

-Give it to me.

JOSH (OFFSCREEN): No.

No.

-Fuck you, man.

-All right!

Dude, come on.

You can do it.

I will be the star.

(ACCENT) Welcome to the lifestyles

of the rich and obnoxious.

Join us as we experience the champagne wishes and cocaine

dreams.

[HOUSE MUSIC PLAYING]

-Yo dude, get some of this.

-Josh, Ryan's barely even said hi to me.

-Oh, he stuck his tongue down your throat first thing

we got here.

-Dance with Seth and make him jealous.

-Mm!

Hi, Seth.

SETH (OFFSCREEN): Didn't wear my dancing shoes tonight, Manny.

-Hi, Seth.

SETH (OFFSCREEN): Hey, Katie.

Where's Ben?

-In the bathroom.

With Ryan.

SETH (OFFSCREEN): What are you implying?

-Hey, yo.

Everyone, everyone, what's up?

Listen-- listen up.

Where's Mickey?

We gotta get Mickey.

Where's Mickey?

[CHEERING]

-Sh!

What do you give a guy that has everything

on his 18th birthday?

-What?

[INTERPOSING VOICES]

-What do you give him?

That's the question.

The answer is you don't.

For guys like Mickey, the best thing to do

is to take something away.

-Oh!

-Something he should have lost a long time ago.

His virginity!

[CHEERING]

-Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to introduce to you--

[SAXOPHONE PLAYING]

--the very beautiful Roxanne.

[CHEERING]

[DOOR OPENING AND CLOSING]

-(CRYING) I hate him.

-What happened?

Oh my god, Manny, what happened?

-He totally ditched me.

-Forget about him.

-Josh, it was so embarrassing.

-Manny--

-Hold me?

-What's going on?

-Hey, Sam.

-Is Amanda OK?

-I don't know.

Maybe you could help.

-She doesn't talk to me.

You're a good brother, Josh.

-What are you doing?

JOSH (OFFSCREEN): Filming.

-Why?

JOSH (OFFSCREEN): Because.

-Josh.

I'm so happy.

I'm so happy.

-We're done.

-I guess you guys passed your chem final?

-Three whole months without this fucking skirt.

-Yeah.

-So when are you guys done?

-Well, brainiac here got the senior exemption

on the math final.

-I gotta be good at something.

-I'm taking it tomorrow.

-And then graduation--

-Yeah.

--next week.

-Yeah!

-Hey, have you guys seen Ben or-- oh.

Oh, there he is.

I gotta go.

Bye, guys.

Amanda, come.

-No, that's OK.

You go.

Hey Seth, can I bum a cigarette?

RYAN (OFFSCREEN): Hey, you guys want to get some coffee?

-Josh, sit with me, please?

-We're going to Star-bizzle.

Wanna come?

-Well?

-Bye, guys.

-(IMITATING) Bye, guys.

What?

-Oh my god, look at ally.

What a slut.

-Who does this?

-I mean, do you really want your grand-kids

to see you looking like that?

You're looking good here.

Very much the stud.

Aren't you gonna sign it?

-No, I only sign for people I'm never going to see again.

-Hey, what did she write?

-Some crap about how we've both had hard times

and she understands.

Blah, blah, blah.

I think I might tear up the page.

-She's just trying to be nice.

-Yeah, well, she doesn't know what it's like for me.

It's just like I don't know her shit.

It's dishonest, you know?

-Got any weed?

-A horse, a horse.

My kingdom for a horse.

Greatest line in the history of theatre.

-We can visit each other in college.

-For sure.

If you want me to.

-Of course I do.

Idiot.

-I have to tell you something.

Josh--

-That's a scary way to start a conversation.

So?

-Promise you won't hate me.

-Dude, what could be so awful?

Are you gay or something?

-What if I was?

-Fuck.

Why didn't you tell me?

What, I'm the last one to know, right?

-No.

-My best friend's a faggot, and I'm the last one to know.

Do I look gay?

-Are we talking Elton John or Tom Cruise gay?

-I'm not gay,

Sam.

-I know.

But if you were, I'd still love you.

-Oh, check it.

This is what got me into film school.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

SAM (OFFSCREEN): Oh Josh, it's incredible.

It's so beautiful.

JOSH (OFFSCREEN): Did she speak to you?

-No.

It's my fault.

I never paid much attention to her.

-Stop.

[HEAVY BREATHING]

JOSH (OFFSCREEN): Hey.

-Can I come in?

JOSH (OFFSCREEN): What's the matter?

-Do me a favor.

Tell me everything you know about Ryan.

I want to know who he hangs out with-- you know, everything.

Ryan and I only have one thing in common-- You.

[INAUDIBLE]

-Stop.

-Why do you want him so bad?

-Everyone wants him.

-And so that's why you want him?

-Yeah.

It's more like I need him.

-He's a dick, Amanda.

-Mm-hmm.

-I'm not gonna say it again.

He's trouble, I know it.

-I had this dream where I'm in my room at night,

and all these guys start coming in, one by one,

and they fuck me.

All of them at the same time, and I like it.

So I guess I just like trouble.

Come on, wouldn't you want to get that on tape?

I saw you.

Through the wall.

I shoulda had my camera.

[RINGTONE]

[BREATHING]

[MASTURBATING]

-Seth.

Man, what's up?

-What's up? -Where have you been, dude?

I've been waiting for, like, days.

-Oh, we did the whole family celebratory lunch thing.

-Good.

-Yeah, it's all good.

They've given be a banging Mac Pro with Final Cut.

-With an HD monitor?

-30 inch.

-That's dope.

-It's tight.

-I'm an asshole, man.

A stupid fuck.

I'm sorry.

-That's OK.

I'm the asshole, dropping that on you like that.

-Yeah, well, it freaked me out.

I shouldn't have reacted that way.

I'm sorry.

It's really-- it's no big deal anyway.

-Just forget about the whole thing, OK?

I'm fine.

-Thanks for understanding, man.

Do your parents know?

SETH (OFFSCREEN): My mom.

She says she always knew.

I always knew.

It's a relief to finally admit it.

-That must have been a heavy load to carry.

-Yeah, from you especially.

My dad too.

I think his reaction's gonna make

yours look calm-- the macho fuck.

-I'm sorry.

-It's OK.

-So nobody else knows?

-Not really.

-Not really?

-Uh, well, there's this, uh-- sophomore.

Harry.

-Harry the Fairy?

-Don't say that.

-You weren't really tutoring him, were you?

-(CHUCKLING) I taught him a lot.

-You're fucking Harry?

-Some fucking, yeah.

But mostly sucking.

-Oh, dude.

Come on.

Spare me the details.

-No.

I will not spare you the details.

I've had to listen to pussy this and pussy that

and look at that rack since forever.

If we're gonna be friends, you're

gonna have to listen to me too.

-You were worse than me.

-I was faking it.

-Well, just so you know, I cannot fake any cock talk,

all right?

-Someone else knows.

-Who?

-Your, uh-- your sister Amanda.

We were at Matt's party last year.

She made a pass at me.

I told her then.

-Oh my god, you really are gay, aren't you?

Everybody wants to fuck my sister.

[DOORBELL]

[DOORBELL]

-I forgot my key.

-Where have you been?

-You knew I'd be late.

-Fuck you.

-You're drunk, Susan.

-Fuck you.

-This is a $300 shirt.

-You sicken me.

Who is she?

Who is she?

Who are you fucking?

Your cell phone called home, and I've

got 20 minutes of your good times recorded

on this answering machine.

Do you want to hear it?

[BEEP]

MARK (ON ANSWERING MACHINE): I mean,

we were walking along outside.

And my friend slipped on the ice.

Like it was-- (CHUCKLING) if you had been there--

[BEEP]

-Put the paper down.

We're not done yet.

-Put the booze down.

You're dangerous when you're drunk.

Which seems to be all the time now, doesn't it?

-Who do you think you are?

-An angry drunk.

That's the worst kind.

-Don't.

I am warning you, do not ever hit me again.

-Who is she?

-No one.

Big deal.

I went out for drinks after work.

-Bullshit.

Who is she?

-Why do you care?

-You admit it.

-No.

Why would you care if I am?

-Fuck you.

-Yeah, I doubt it.

You think you've cornered the market on suffering?

You think that maybe for once you

could understand that my life ended six years ago.

Have you ever thought about anyone but yourself since?

-We lost you too.

-I loved her.

-We all loved her.

-She killed me too.

[CHUCKLING]

-She's-- our daughter's getting married this weekend.

Yeah.

Marla's very happy, but I don't-- I hope she knows what

she's in for.

Kids?

Who's in there?

Hello?

He-- oh my god.

Oh my god.

Susan.

Samantha.

No, no, no, no.

No, no.

Susan.

-No!

[WAILING]

-Do you remember when, um, Mom and Dad went out to the, uh,

the Broadway show, the matinee?

-And we got all naked and used mom's makeup

to paint our whole body.

-I was a robot.

-And I was a tattoo lady.

[LAUGHING]

-You got blamed even though I thought of it.

-What are big sisters for?

You used to run into my bed every time

you had a little nightmare.

You were my Joshy-poo.

-Why did you do it, Sam?

The shrinks say I should be mad at you.

-You can be mad if it helps.

-What are you doing?

-Nothing.

-Waiting up for me?

Ooh, do you need me to help you pack for college?

-No, I got time.

I'm hardly bringing anything anyway--

just a suitcase and my backpack.

That's it.

What more do I need?

-Just me.

I'm definitely coming with you.

You can't leave me here alone.

-You got Ryan.

-Oh, you know what I mean.

You can't leave me alone with them.

-Is he hurting you?

Don't be such a pussy, Josh.

We like it rough.

It's gonna be fine.

-I worry about you.

-Can I sleep in here with you tonight?

-Sure.

OK, but let's go to sleep, because I

am really ex-haw-sted.

-OK.

-Could you get the light, please?

-Uh-huh.

-Thank yaw.

[YAWNING]

-Can you not steal all the covers tonight?

-I can make no promises in that regard.

-You're a cover monster.

-Cover monster.

-Joshy-woshy.

-Manny-fanny.

-Hey.

-Morning.

-Hi.

-Remember, we're having dinner with the Browns

tonight at 7:30.

Want me to send a car for you?

-Yeah, that would be nice.

-All righty.

Have a good day.

-I warned you about Ryan, Manny.

-See ya.

It's nothing I can't handle.

-But what if you can't?

-I can.

-Yeah, but what if you can't?

I'd kill myself if anything ever happened to you.

It's weird.

When things get messed up, sometimes I say to myself,

what would Sammy do?

-She'd slit her wrists.

-Quiet.

-Neatly, of course.

No mess for anyone to clean up.

-Shut up, Manny.

-Just drop the body off at the morgue, get on with your life.

-Stop it.

-Great role model, your big sister.

-Get out of my room.

-You know what?

Face it, Josh.

You're never gonna be a filmmaker.

You'll cave like everyone else.

You'll go to business school and get a job you hate.

And marry a woman you'll grow to hate.

You'll have kids, because that's what people do.

You're gonna get fat, go bald, and die

wondering what the fuck.

And then I'm just gonna marry someone

who doesn't even understand me.

But I mean, at least he'll buy me lots of expensive things

and keep me in booze and pills.

And in a couple of years, I'll probably pop out a couple kids

and start the whole fucking thing over again.

You know what?

Actually, I take it back.

Maybe she had the right idea.

Why should we even bother?

JOSH (OFFSCREEN): How could she do this?

-Mom's an alcoholic, Josh.

Alcoholics drink too much.

-What happened?

JOSH (OFFSCREEN): She tore the house up.

-You know how she gets.

-(GROANING) But do they know their father?

Do they know they're father is screwing Karen

in the European Equities Division?

MARK (OFFSCREEN): Susan.

-After Samantha, you promised me he'd

stop screwing his secretary.

After all, she's the one who caught them.

-She is out of her mind.

-Is that true?

-Your father is a man of his word, my dear.

He dumped Sharon.

But he's been fucking Karen ever since.

First Sharon, then Karen.

It rhymes.

Who's next, Mark?

-You did that in front of Sammy?

-Where are you going?

-Hey, Dad.

-No, no, no.

Get out of my way, Josh.

I'm sorry.

-Dad.

Dad.

Fuck you, OK?

Fuck you, man.

You're a fucking disgrace.

Why are fucking doing this to us?

-Hey, hey.

[HONKING]

-Dad.

Come on, man.

Please, just talk to me.

Please.

Yo, Seth.

Is there any way we could hang out?

Cool.

No, actually I'm right downstairs.

Yeah.

OK.

All right, man.

-Yo, check me out.

I'm Ryan.

Oh god.

[INTERPOSING VOICES]

[LAUGHTER]

-Oh my god.

Wait, dude.

This is good.

You forgot one thing.

Here.

Watch the face.

-Oh yeah!

He does do that face.

No, no.

You know what he does when nobody's there, right?

And he's all-- he knows everybody's watching.

-Yo, you got him, dude.

The pants are up a bit.

-Yeah.

-Like--

-Yeah, survey the crowd.

Yeah, just checking.

Stop.

Stop.

No, no.

Stop.

Yo, you got any more?

-No.

No more alcohol for you.

Oh, but-- I've been saving something for a rainy day.

One for me.

And one for thee.

-Rakim is the best for the simple reason

that he was the first.

I mean, to combine syllables, patterns,

and-- and a technical construction all-- all

with a panoramic third eye?

Come on.

I mean, he was the first, bro.

All-- all these other guys, they rap on the premise

that-- that Rakim originated, you know what I'm saying?

He created from a blank canvas while these other guys,

they just took the baton from there and continued on.

So to say that someone is better just, you know--

-Stop.

You're white.

[MOANING]

-That's racist.

I mean, hostility over here.

I mean, a lot of people would say-- a lot of people would say

[INAUDIBLE], but he was a one-syllable man.

Other great rappers [INAUDIBLE].

-Yeah.

-Who, uh, heavily--

[LAUGHTER]

[SMACK]

-Oh, hold on.

The bastards got my stash.

-No, come on.

We don't need it.

-Besides, I got something better anyway.

Fuck.

[SCREAM]

-What?

-So, um, I was, um, with my, um, mom and dad.

Did you know my mom-- did you know she was in the hospital?

Alcohol poisoning.

Anyway, my dad, well, he's cheating on her.

And, um, I didn't know.

Um, and so we found out there, which was fucked up.

So I tried to talk to him on the street.

You know, he just didn't-- he didn't want to talk to me.

So he just got in the cab, sailed away.

-He'll come back.

-No.

I doubt it.

Anyway, we-- we've got mom to take care of us,

when she's not slipping off into a coma.

-It's not funny, Josh.

-Yeah, I know.

Anyway, who cares about me?

I'm leaving next week.

It's Manny that I'm worried about.

-Oh, come-- I'll keep an eye on her.

-Thanks.

-I would do anything for you.

You know that, right?

-Yeah.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

-Just remember, she likes to dance.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[LAUGHTER]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

-I'll bet this shit makes us drunk.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

-(SOBBING) Sorry, man.

I just get really fucked up.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

-Squeeze.

Harder.

Harder.

Come on.

Harder.

-Wait, that hurts.

-Come on.

-You're hurting me.

-I'm not gonna hurt you.

-You are hurting me.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

-No.

[GROANING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

-What's up?

-You look horrible.

-You were right.

-Am I hurting you?

-No.

-Good.

I'll kill him if you want.

-What are we gonna do?

-It's gonna be OK.

-But you're leaving.

It's just too weird.

-Maybe I won't go.

-No.

No, you're going.

I'll kill you.

You're gonna meet a nice girl in college.

I love you, Josh.

-I love you too, Manny.

No.

-You can have what's left of me.

-OK.

No.

No.

Stop.

-I hate you.

I hate you.

I hate you.

I hate you.

I hate you.

I hate you.

[SOBBING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC STOPS]

-I've got everything backed up.

-Erase it.

-Why?

-Erase everything.

Pictures and videos.

Everything about me.

Don't save a thing, Josh.

It's too-- just please erase everything.

-OK.

-Thanks.

-It's better that way.

-I don't know if I can find the words-- the right words--

to let you know how sorry I am.

But I want you to know that if you

want I want to be there for you. (LAUGHING) Fuck.

Hey.

So, uh, this is about my 10th take.

Um, everything I said sounds so trite,

I don't-- I don't think I'm ever gonna get this right.

Manny?

Manny?

Hey.

-Hey.

-They're sending Mom home tomorrow.

She wants us to pick her up.

-And what about her husband?

-He's gone.

She's not coming back either.

You know that.

And I'm leaving for LA on Wednesday.

-Yeah, well, Mom and I can hold down the fort.

-I gotta get out of here, Manny.

-Am I asking you to stay?

-Two more years, and you're out.

-It's like I'm doing time.

-Except you haven't done anything wrong.

-No?

Go.

-I wasn't gonna--

-Go.

Get out.

-Manny--

-Get out of my room.

-Why are you doing--

-Get out of my room.

-I was just trying--

-Get out of this state.

Get out of my life.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

-Yeah, it's right here, please.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

-Hi.

Can you give this to Seth?

Thanks.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

MANNY (OFFSCREEN): Josh.

Off you go.

-Yeah.

-It's gonna be hell around here without you.

-It was hell around here with me.

I guess I should go.

-Yeah.

Bye, Josh.

-Family Weekend's in October, OK?

You better come.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

-Bye, Manny-Fanny.

-Bye, Joshy-Woshy.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

-Hold on a second.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

-OK, I'm ready.

[MUSIC PLAYING]