Original subtitles

- My hands clasped his buttocks

as he carried me across the room

and pinned me against the wall.

I had one foot on the bed,

the other wrapped round his hips

as he lifted me by the waist

so that my other foot was wedged against

the dressing table--

- [Duncan] Yeah.

There.

- What?

- Well, it's that.

One on the bed, one wrapped round his hips,

one on the dressing table.

Three feet, Belle.

- I moved one.

- In the next paragraph, you've got three hands each.

- For the record, I do it better than I write it.

(upbeat music)

- You've tied yourself up in technicalities.

Look, your readers don't want mechanics,

they want sensation.

They have to think sex with you would be mind-blowing.

- Right.

- Good. Keep going.

- Okay.

So I'm against the wall.

Left foot here, right foot there.

Hands flying everywhere.

- And tell us how that felt.

- Okay.

Moments later, he had me in a wheelbarrow.

His hands holding my thighs.

My hands on the floor as he ran his fingers down my back.

- With both hands

on your thighs? - Oh, I don't know.

His foot moved forward on the floor

as he grabbed my other hand and pushed my foot down

as the other hand reached out for his foot.

Okay. (Duncan laughs)

- It's the worst how-to manual ever.

- Sorry.

- Look, stop worrying about what goes where.

We want to know about desire,

how it works, what's underneath it.

what's in your head, what's in his head.

- You want me to explain

the fundamental nature of the subconscious?

- Yes, please!

And while you're there, could I have the moon on a stick?

- No problem.

Good.

Now, fuck off.

- Oh, right, okay.

Oh.

(whimpers)

(cellphone rings)

(cellphone beeps)

- Bambi?

- Belle, you will never guess what.

- No, I never will.

- Byron is taking me to the Gaveston.

He's so sweet!

I said I'd never been and he remembered.

- That's sweet, is this the client from last week?

- Yeah, he's like a duke or a lord or something.

He took me to a rave in a disused tube station.

Then we went to this kebab shop

that had a jazz club in the basement.

And then we went for breakfast in an Italian cafe

and ran out without paying.

- He's paying you, though, right?

- Yeah, of course, he's got loads of money.

It's gonna so nice to see him again.

- Bambi, this is work, not a date.

- I know, I was just saying.

- Okay, just remember, he's a client.

A client.

- I know.

I know what I'm doing.

(door phone buzzes)

Oh, hang on.

♪ Elegant clothes, you want to be seen with her ♪

- Hello. - Simon Burford.

(door buzzes) - Come on up.

♪ Begging you to sit for a portrait on the wall ♪

- Okay, just tell yourself he's this nice

to all the other escorts too.

- Really? - Really.

- I'll see you soon, okay?

Bye.

- Bye. (cellphone beeps)

(knocking)

- Simon?

Sorry, I was just...

Hello. - Come in.

- Yes, Simon Burford.

Hello. - Hello.

- Hello. - Hi.

- Hello.

- Oh, shall I take these?

- Oh, yes, thank you. - Okay.

Now, why don't you make yourself at home?

Can I get you a glass of champagne?

- Well, if you've got a bottle open.

- Well, not yet, but--

- Oh, well, then, don't worry.

(chuckles)

So nice place.

How long have you been here?

- About four years.

- And what do you do?

(sighs)

- I do everything.

So what brings you here today, Simon?

- I haven't had sex since I was 22.

- Okay.

Shall we sort the formalities out first?

It just make things easier.

- Yes, of course.

It's all there.

- That's lovely of you.

Shall we pop you in the shower?

And I'll be in there when you're ready.

Shall I take this? - Right.

(lively music)

- It's just through there.

It's so sad when they are like that.

But give me an hour with him, I'll give you a new man.

Nice suit.

- [Simon] Thanks.

- [Hannah] What do you do for a living?

- I'm an actuary.

- An actuary?

- Yes.

I evaluated the risks in coming here,

put them on a spreadsheet.

- Risks?

- It's an actuary joke.

- Oh. - Sorry.

Are you sure you're okay with this?

- [Hannah] Yeah, of course.

- You must get some real perverts.

- If I'm lucky.

- Yeah, but you have to have sex with them.

- Yeah, but it's not like that.

- No.

No. Sorry.

Sorry.

- Would you like to kiss me?

- Is that okay?

- It's all okay.

Why don't you tell me what you'd like to do?

- To have sex.

- How?

- Just ordinary.

- Why don't you tell me what you'd really like?

- To fuck you.

- How, Simon?

- Want to...

- Say it.

(lively music)

- Want to fuck you really hard.

Sorry.

- I'd like that.

- Yes, of course.

Sorry.

Okay.

Well, here goes.

(groans softly)

Is that all right?

- Yeah.

- Do you like that? - Yeah, it's good.

You're so big.

- Am I?

- Not too big? Am I hurting you?

- No, no.

No, that was really good.

You know before when you told me what you wanted to do?

Why don't you tell me again?

- Really? - Mm-hm.

- I want to fuck you.

- I want that too.

- I want to fuck you really hard.

I want to make you come.

I want to make you scream.

- Oh, god, yeah. - Mm, yeah.

Oh, let's do it.

Let's do it like dirty dogs.

- Yeah! - Oh, you love it like this,

you dirty cow?

- Yeah! - Mm, yeah.

You great big cow.

- [Hannah] Uh-huh.

(Hannah moans) - Yeah, I'm gonna make

you squeal. - Oh, make me squeal.

- Mm, yeah.

I'm gonna fuck you hard, you little piggy.

- Fuck me.

Fuck me hard! - Yeah?

Yeah, you dirty, dirty, dirty goat.

(moans)

Tell me you're a dirty goat.

- I'm so dirty!

I'm a goat.

- Oh, yeah.

Say you're a cock-hungry chicken.

- I'm a cock-hungry chicken!

- Say you're a dirty ewe!

- I'm a you, a you, you what?

- It's a female sheep. - Oh, right, yeah.

- Now, bleat like a sheep.

Bleat like a sheep!

(both mimic bleating)

(Simon groaning)

- [Hannah] Oh!

(bell tolling)

(bicycle rattling)

(brakes squeaking)

- Sorry I'm late.

I woke up in Hastings.

- Are you all right?

- Yeah, I'm fine.

- Didn't think I was gonna see you again.

- Really?

Why?

(gentle music)

Hop on.

(Byron chuckles)

(Bambi squeals)

- Simon, can I ask, did you grow up on a farm?

- I'm sorry.

I didn't want to--

- Don't worry.

- I made you bleat.

- Yeah.

It was fun.

It was funny, it was sweet.

- No.

No, it's not, it demeans you.

- Well, whatever works.

Is that why it's been so long?

- My ex-girlfriend, she told everyone.

I was the animal guy at college for three years.

- Everyone has something they like.

It's okay. Come here.

Come here.

Aww.

Mm.

(door clacks)

- Han? (Hannah gasps)

Oh.

Hello? - Who are you?

- Aren't you supposed to be at work?

- Tuesday, half day.

- You never told me that.

- I'm really sorry.

I had no idea.

I'm her sister.

- You've got a sister?

Oh, god.

- He's just sorta boyfriend.

He's going through a bit of a difficult time.

Simon.

Give me those back.

♪ Wonder boy ♪

♪ Wonder boy ♪

♪ Everybody is looking for the sun ♪

- [Jackie] I'm cooking, do you want some?

- What? - I'm cooking.

Do you want some?

- No, I just had a sandwich.

- How about I cook for you tomorrow, then?

I'm sorry I'm being such a nuisance.

- How much longer do you think you're gonna be here for?

- I'm trying to be nice here,

Hannah. - Okay, all right, tomorrow.

- This is about Ben, isn't it?

- What? No.

- I know he's your friend.

- Yeah, he is.

He's my best friend.

- Can't we be a bit more grownup than that?

- You're married.

That's how grownup you are.

Married.

- And my husband is fucking a temp.

I need something, Han, and that something is Ben.

It's like the difference between a pushbike and a Harley.

- Yeah, and I'm sure I used to think that

when he was my boyfriend.

- Yeah.

Did he ever do that thing where he put his tongue--

(Hannah yelps)

I'm just-- - No!

- Dinner at seven tomorrow.

- Lovely.

(lively music)

- [Hannah Voiceover] They say you can take the boy

out of rural Lincolnshire,

but you can't take the rural Lincolnshire out of the boy.

(both mimic bleating)

- I can't send that.

(keyboard clacks)

(sighs)

- We want to know about desire,

how it works, what's underneath it.

- [Hannah Voiceover] I always feel sorry

for the nervous ones.

And Simon was as nervous as they get.

- Hello. - Hello.

- Hello. - Hi.

- Hello.

- [Hannah Voiceover] Giving men like this

a bit of confidence is a public service.

Once I'd encouraged him, Simon really took control.

(keyboard clacking)

(Hannah sighs)

- Sex with you would be mind-blowing.

- [Hannah Voiceover] As he threw me back onto the bed,

he firmly pushed my legs open.

I thought, "I love my job."

- What?

Just whatever it takes to get it written.

Okay?

You can't choose what's in your subconscious, can you?

(keyboard clacks) Attach.

Love, Belle.

Kiss, kiss.

No kiss.

(door clacks)

(computer beeps)

Hello?!

(gentle music)

Why can't I come in there?

- Because I am cooking for you.

(door phone buzzes)

- What's going on?

- Hey.

(door buzzes) Come up.

- You haven't.

Jackie.

(singing in foreign language)

- Hi.

Hey. - Hey.

(Jackie chuckles)

You're here. - Yeah.

I live here.

- Yeah.

How are you?

- What, since yesterday?

Fine.

You know, just doing what I do.

- Dinner in 10 minutes.

- Dinner? - What were you expecting?

You know what, don't answer that.

- It was meant to be a surprise.

- Oh, it was.

- Venison steaks with a red wine and blackberry reduction.

- [Ben] Think it looks delicious.

- [Jackie] Aww.

Thanks, Ben.

- [Hannah] I can't do this.

- Han. (Jackie sighs)

I should go after her. - No.

She just wants a reaction.

Besides, it gives us a bit more time together.

(door thuds)

- Well, yeah.

Good.

Some time together.

Alone again.

(mellow music)

- I should have shown them out of the flat, not myself.

Really is very cold.

♪ Ain't misbehaving, saving my love for you ♪

(cellphone ringing)

(cellphone beeps)

- Shh.

Hey, babes.

You checking up on me?

- No.

Are you in town?

- No, no, no, I'm just with a client.

Are you okay?

- No, it's fine, I was just wondering if you were around

for a drink, don't worry.

- No, sorry, babes.

Listen, I better go.

- Okay.

Bye. - Bye.

(cellphone beeps)

So this is me.

- Is this the whole flat?

- No, there's a loo through there.

- It's very nice.

- I don't usually keep my knickers on the boiler.

- Yeah, well, I usually keep mine on the fridge.

You know? (Bambi chuckles)

- Champagne?

- [Byron] Ketchup?

(Bambi chuckles)

- You are properly mental, you are.

I've had more fun with you than with anyone.

- Am I your best client?

- Not just with a client,

with anyone, since ever.

That's a bit wrong, isn't it?

- Is it?

See, the thing is, Bam-Bam,

you make me forget that this is your job.

(knocking)

- [Duncan] Hello?

Who's there?

- Only me.

Hello.

- Belle.

Everything okay?

- Yeah, no, no, no, I was just passing.

Oh, you got the new chapter.

- Oh, this is something else I'm working on.

Autobiography.

Very funny.

- I'm sorry, should--

- No, I'm joking.

It is yours.

- Oh, okay.

- It's really good.

- [Hannah] Good.

- You gonna stand there all evening?

Have a seat.

I like the new tone.

- Thanks. - It's very sexy, steamy even.

"He grasped my hips and guided himself into position.

"He pinned me to the bed and fucked me hard.

- It's not that different, is it, the tone?

- Sounded like you had a real connection with the guy, no?

- Something like that.

Should I-- - Would you like a drink?

- You're not busy?

- Well, not since I was so rudely interrupted.

Whisky?

- Okay.

I'll just use...

- Cheers. - Cheers.

- As long as you don't mind mixing business with pleasure.

- Well, that's what I do.

- Oh, this is powerful stuff, daring too.

You're really unapologetic about your enjoyment of the job.

This third paragraph is lovely.

- People don't normally think of sucking cock as lovely.

- I do.

(chuckles)

(gentle piano music)

- I should go.

Jackie will probably be asleep by now.

- Well, next time you want to drop in uninvited,

feel free to call first.

- Sorry?

- Sorry, it was a joke.

- Oh.

- Bad joke.

I've enjoyed it.

- Me too.

- [Duncan] Well, goodnight.

- So another chapter next week?

- Sure.

(lively piano music)

- I don't fancy him, okay?

This is a professional relationship.

There are lines you just can't cross.

♪ Looking for someone, somebody somewhere ♪

- What? Okay, a bit.

I fancy him a bit, but, you know, like only in the same way

that you fancy, say, one of your teachers.

(gentle guitar music)

♪ I was a little girl ♪

♪ Alone in my little world ♪

♪ Who dreamed of a little home for me ♪

♪ I played pretend between the trees ♪

♪ And fed my house guests bark and leaves ♪

♪ And laughed in my pretty bed of green ♪

♪ I had a dream ♪

♪ That I could fly ♪

- Fancying him and doing something about it

are very different things.

Nothing will happen.

Nothing can happen.

What is your idea of fun, Duncan?

- That dress, how would you get into something like that?

- [Hannah] It's got a zip.

Here.

(upbeat music)