All language subtitles for The.Terrors.of.Jordan.Mendoza.S01E06.Finally.got.a.good.therapist.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DD.5.1.H.264-playWEB_track3_[eng]

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Original subtitles

This program is rated 14+,

and contains scenes of violence, coarse language,

and mature subject matter.

Viewer discretion is advised.

I don't think they can afford that house.

What do you mean?

I mean, like, I know how much they both make,

and I'm like, that's a $1.6 million house.

Well, they probably got help.

Oh, did I tell you about the getting high horny thing?

No. Oh, I hate the word "horny."

Well, Michael was talking about whenever he smokes,

he gets, like, really horny.

And everyone was like, "Oh, yeah, that happens to me, too."

And I was like, "Uh, I-I don't know," so--

Wait, when you guys went outside,

did you and Michael go smoke?

No. Are you saying that you're,

like, super horned up right now? No, I'm not horned up.

I was saying that happens to other people.

And I was curious if it was also happening to you.

Right.

We could do road head.

Oh. That'd be crazy.

Maybe one day...

Hey, keep your eyes on the road.

Eyes on the road.

Oh. Oh. Oh!

Aah! Aah!

Babe, that was amazing.

Goddamn it.

Are your mid-30s guy friends. Complete burdens.

Yeah.

Does the idea of listening to them spiral

about their cookie-cutter problems fill you with dread?

Yeah.

Introducing Jordoll.

Wow.

Wait. What's Jordoll?

Jordoll is a lovable, placating,

plush version of you, Jordan.

So whenever you're sad sack friends just need to vent,

they can talk at Jordoll instead of you.

I'm so happy that I married my wife,

but I miss being able to sleep with other people.

That's really hard, man.

Have you guys ever explored ethical non-monogamy?

It's a great question.

I want to have the conversation about it,

but I'm not sure what she thinks.

I'm lost, man. I'm just--

I'm 36 and I have nothing to show for myself.

I want to reality check you right there.

You have an amazing job, you're so good at guitar,

and you're a good-looking dude. Thank you.

Jordoll handles all those tiresome ruminations

so you can do anything

other than soak in another man's despair.

Jordoll validates and placates

so you don't have to get sucked into an empathy hole.

Should I go back to grad school? Totally.

Leaving you to focus on what really matters.

Man on TV: This next animal has a lot going on down under.

I don't know if other people struggle with

whether or not to have kids, but I'm struggling.

I see you, I hear you, I love you.

I want to hear more about this grad school thing.

What's that saying? Everyone wants a village,

but no one wants to be a villager?

I was there for you for three years.

News to me. All for... I don't know.

Just, like, maybe I should go back to grad school.

Man #2: Maybe I should have gone to grad school.

Man #3: Should I go back to grad school?

- Grad school. - Grad school.

My parents offered to pay.

Jordoll?

I can't do it, man. It's too sad.

Oh. I'm sorry. Uh... come in.

Jim asked me for notes on his screenplay,

and George is mad because John muted the group chat.

Like, none of these are actual problems.

I'm drowning, man.

I'm sorry. That sounds really hard.

Feeling burdened by your Jordoll?

Introducing Jordoll Jr,

a friend for your friend's friend.

I'm tired. I'm just, I'm really, really tired.

Oh, man, that sounds really hard.

If you ever need someone to talk to...

I don't want to burden you, man, but...

I know it's lame, but I, uh...

Yeah, I don't know, it helps.

I think that's a really healthy way of coping.

I'm proud of you, Michael.

Thanks.

Well, that's all we have time for this week,

but I'm assuming we're on for next week.

Oh, yep. Yeah. Um...

I just wanted to say, too, thanks so much for all of this.

I, um-- It really helps to get this stuff out of my head.

That's why I'm here.

Any fun plans for the weekend?

Oh, yeah. Actually, after this,

I'm headed to Reed's to get a drink with a friend.

I heard about that place.

That's, uh-- That's over on Belmont,

right near the new Wendy's that went in, right?

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

I guess there is a Wendy's over there.

Yep. That one.

Nice. Well, have a good weekend.

You, too.

Man on TV: Wendy's hot and juicy hamburgers

come in three sizes-- Wendy's single, 1/4 pound,

Wendy--

It almost feels, like, selfish or unethical

to feel sad when you-- when you have so much.

Like, I have everything a person could possibly want.

Good family. Good friends. Good job.

How is it that I'm so sad?

You see, the thing is, for thousands of years, thousands,

evolution didn't prioritize joy.

But now you've arrived.

I mean, there's no more sabertooth tiger waiting

to attack you around the corner, you know?

Sadness is normal. It's a part of life.

But you can give yourself permission to feel joy.

Yeah.

I mean, like, for example,

yesterday I was having a rotten day.

Things were really going in the toilet.

I stopped into Wendy's.

I got myself a Frosty, and I thoroughly enjoyed it.

Yeah, I just-- I never let myself feel happy.

I know I need to be nicer to myself,

but I look in the mirror, and I hate what I see.

I think you need to cut yourself some slack.

You know, lie in this weekend.

Take it easy. Binge watch a few shows.

Maybe, you know, order yourself some Wendy's.

Just let yourself off the hook.

Uh, hey, Michael, it's Dr. Thomas.

I just wanted to call you about, uh, scheduling.

Oh. Hello again. How can I help you today?

Wait just a second. Sorry.

I'm one of my favorite restaurants. Oh, hi.

I'll take a Baconator and a baked potato

and a chocolate Frosty. Thanks.

Well, thanks again for moving our time.

I've got to head home early today

for my grandson's birthday. Oh, fun throwing a party?

Yeah. As a matter of fact,

I'm responsible for the food and entertainment

for a dozen eight-year-old boys.

Well, good luck with that.

Actually, a lot of people aren't aware,

but, um, Wendy's has this fabulous

rewards program that you can use,

and they make it super easy because there's an app

for your phone-- you can order the whole thing.

Really, it's great.

I'm sorry, are you, like,

involved with Wendy's somehow.

Am I involved with Wendy's?

Michael, I'm a psychiatrist.

Your psychiatrist, as you're well aware.

No, I-I know, I know, it's just, like,

it feels like Wendy's has come up a lot.

Michael, I-I know you're a little anxious

about starting the medication. Is that what this is about?

Mm-hmm.

You understand I'm not one of those pill pushers.

But your avoidance of medication feels to me

like it might be a form of self-sabotage.

I mean, there are millions of people

taking antidepressants every day all over the world.

And if you find out that it's not helpful to you,

you're free to stop.

So, go ahead, fill that prescription.

Yeah. I'm sorry.

Yeah. You're right.

All righty. Sorry about that.

Thank you for waiting, Michael.

Were you at my house last week?

What do you mean? What are you talking about?

Well, that's weird,

but I don't see what that has to do with anything.

My prescription? French fries?

What is it with you and Wendy's?

Michael, I don't know where this-- this Wendy's fixation

you have came from,

but you seem extremely agitated to me.

Did you sleep okay? Don't change the subject!

There's something wrong with you!

You're weird!

I'm sorry. I'm just confused.

You're right. I haven't been sleeping very well.

And I'm just, like, paranoid. It's okay.

I just-- I got someone's fucking, like, dinner...

It's okay. ...for my prescription, and...

Just maybe have a seat, you know?

Aah!

What is this?

What is this? Where are we?!

Help! Help me!

Michael, you're so unhappy.

You're still resisting your medicine.

What the fuck is wrong with you?

You're insane!

I'm insane?

You have any idea what it's like to sit

and listen to people for nine hours a day,

complaining all about the pain of their lives...

...when the answer is right in front of them?

What are you talking about?

Are you aware there are 5,973

Wendy's locations nationwide?

Can I take your order?

There's an answer on every corner.

Do people celebrate this? No, not at all.

They take this miracle cure,

and they refer to it as junk food.

I'm going to help you, Michael.

Okay. It's time to open up.

No. No, please!

Just take one little bite.

Help me!

Take a bite.

There you go.

Now wash it down.

That's it.

There we are.

You did a great job.

I look in the mirror and I hate what I see.

Man on TV: Wendy's hot and juicy hamburgers...

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