Original subtitles

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SOMEWHERE IN RURAL SWEDEN, 1985

BRÄNNSTRÖM'S MECHANICS

A number of marketing initiatives, with or without celebrities, have been fruitless.

JUST KICK!

And the attempt to develop plastic kicksleds

was a major flop, as you all know.

We need to restructure the business.

And the answer, ladies and gentlemen, is:

A ski for the people!

Let's scrap the kicksleds and the old tools

and purchase brand-new machinery.

That will guarantee a grant from the development fund.

Next point.

Back to the old rescue breathing business:

Development grants for small businesses in Norrland.

Brännström's Mechanics in Ormträsk...

...are restructuring from producing kicksleds to skis.

Can it wait until after three? The second run is in five minutes.

How's it going?

Girardelli's in the lead. Stenmark's number eight.

- He's done and dusted. I blame the girl. - Now, now.

Shall we break for slalom?

We develop a prototype ski, and then Hedlund, I and a photographer

take photos for a marketing campaign that will be launched all over Sweden.

- Where are you going to take the pictures? - In the village of Kirchberg in the Alps.

Are the Swedish mountains not good enough?

Welcome back to Kirchberg...

- That's where I'm going over New Year's. - You should support the Swedish mountains.

- Olsson speaking. - This is Stenmark.

- Hi, Ole! - Tickets are booked!

We're going by coach, with Snowroller. No need to fly.

- Where are we going? - Kirchan.

- Kirchan? - Kirchberg.

The coolest skiing in all of Europe.

- Are there any beginners' slopes? - Of course. They've got everything.

- There's someone at the door. Speak later. - Bye!

I spoke to Arne about New Year's Eve. They're all coming.

- Do you really have to go up north? - I'm going to the Alps, Mom.

Why would you want to learn downhill skiing when you're over 40?

You have such weak bones. That Norwegian has put ideas into your head again.

- Have you met any nice girls yet? - No.

Arne and Berit are expecting their third now.

I guess you're too busy with your toy trains.

A trip up north might do you good!

- I'm going to the Alps, Morn. - That's what I said. Here you are.

What in the world in this?

Can you hear me at the back of the bus? Turn down the volume, please.

We're approaching the Swiss border, where we will take a short break.

Snowroller's record for the shortest pee and smoke break is 47 seconds.

Let's see if we can beat it!

SNOW ROLLER

Snowroller, Nalle speaking.

Hi, Nalie! Are you still in bed? Wakey-wakey, rise and shine!

- We 're there in half an hour. - Are you at the border already?

Quick as a wink.

You'll have to keep the bus there. I haven't sorted the hotel contract yet.

- Are you for real? - We're 15 beds short. That's right, 15.

- What do you want me to do about it? - How the hell would I know?

Cut the fan belt off or hide the snow chains. Say you forgot them.

You're insane.

And push, and push!

No, they're not here yet.

Mackan called, they've got problems.

They didn't bring the snow chains.

Hey, I don't want to go on about this, but we really need new jackets.

We're being mocked all the time.

Yes, right.

Yeah, it's snowing.

We'll have powder snow.

Bloody feather beds!

Helga! The weather is looking nice today.

- No need to get any more plaster. - As you wish!

- Hi! Time to pick up the new guests? - Yes, every Saturday.

Hi there, colleague!

- No sense of humor. - I'd rather drive trash than Swedes.

It can't be done. It's high season. I've only got three double rooms.

Yes... With an extra bed in every room, that makes nine.

What about the annex?

I don't rent that out anymore. The rooms are too small - they're like wardrobes.

Yes, but I will pay the full price for every room,

and I will make sure that there will be no complaints.

Are we agreed or do we need to sign anything?

- No. We'll do as before. - Great!

Cheers!

See you later.

We've arrived at Sporthotell Katz. See you at the welcome drink!

- Hey, Mackan! All good? - No probs. We've got some boozers.

The skiing club Hökarängen Samurais. But they slept for the last hour.

- Did you find some beds? - Sure.

Three double rooms with extra beds and standing seats in the annex.

- Have you got someone we can put there? - I know someone. Just wait.

- Here he is. - Hi there! Welcome!

You'll be staying in the annex, in the attic.

- Sounds cozy. - Rig ht.

- The key is in the reception. - Morning!

Welcome!

I'll be sending an invoice to the travel agent.

Surely, the guests aren't supposed to push the damn bus up the side of the mountain?

- Want us to wind up the lifts as well? - I'm sorry.

- Göte, calm down! - I am calm!

Do you happen to know where we're staying so that we can push the bus there?

- Director Jönsson - four guests. - Cut it out, Dad!

Jönsson, four guests. You're staying here. Room number nine.

- He smells of booze, too. - Oh well...

- Hi, Nalle! - Hi... Are you here?

- I wanted to surprise you. - You did, for sure.

- Did you get my letters? - Sure, thanks. We'll have to talk later.

- Great! - Yeah.

- What did he say? - He didn't seem over the moon, exactly.

I told you to give him a heads-up.

You should never surprise a guy like that.

- It was different this summer. - Different this summer... Come on!

Breakfast is served from 8 to 8.30 a.m. and the door is locked at 10 p.m.

Alcohol is not permitted in the rooms. After 10 p.m., guests must be quiet.

What is she saying?

She is the commandant of the Katz Labor Camp.

She's greeting us...

Any questions?

And then we join again when we get to "cuckoo." Cuckoo!

We'd like to wish you all welcome to Kirchberg and Snowroller.

Kirchberg is located at 1,500 meters above sea level

and has been a tourist destination for 20 years.

It is more or less owned by the Katz family, hence the nickname "Katzberg."

- We call the church "the Katzedral." - The head of the family is Dr Katz.

For some strange reason, he specializes in fractures.

When we're being cheeky, we call him "the plaster cat."

He owns most of the village.

We always say that breaking a bone won't break the bank...at least not his bank.

We really hope no one has a "katzastrophe" and needs to see him.

Beginners might be interested to hear

that we have the best ski school in Europe.

- I could take ski classes. - Let's discuss that later.

Also, to avoid injuries, you should skip the first run of the clay.

- And skip the last run... - Every day!

- What's that supposed to mean? - It's a joke.

We've got something for the guest who makes the funniest blunder each day.

He or she will receive Snowroller's custom-designed beanie "the Wrong Pole."

Today's beanie is awarded to Stig H. Olsson,

who ran his luggage through the snow blower!

- May we ask Stig H. to step forward? - Please step forward, Stig H.

Bravo!

- Poor guy... - My maternal instincts are kicking in.

Alles gut!

- What did he say? - He wants to charge us for it.

- Maybe we should move. - No, he just wants our money.

I don't understand. Alles gut!

It's insane! Lift passes alone for four people are 3,000 Swedish kronor.

Bloody hell!

Are you going to use all these clothes?

Mom, please don't smoke in here. Why don't you smoke on the balcony?

I can't wear these boots. They're far too big.

You'll grow into them soon. Wear double socks!

We can't afford to buy new boots every year.

I was always handed down my brother's...

- What would you like? - This sounds like ham. Number 14.

That doesn't sound too bad.

Two number 14. Thank you.

- So... There's a distinct lack of ladies. - Yes... Mostly little girls.

- But the two with dark hair were cute. - Yes.

Well, well... Bottoms up for the Swiss Navy!

Cheers!

- What's this? - Schinken?

- Schenkel. - No, it's some sort of bird.

- Huhner?Cluck, cluck! - Fröschen.Quack, quack!

- What did he say? - We ordered "quack, quack."

- Which is? - Frogs' legs.

THE VIEW FROM MY WINDOW

- Hi! So, you got the luxury suite? - Yes.

You told me that you had slalom skis.

I do. They've got steel edges and safety bindings.

They're good enough for me.

Two hundred kronor, second hand. They threw in the boots and this.

Wow, what's that?

- A spare aluminum ski tip. - Well, that'll come in handy.

Right...

Right... They must have been worn out. You'll have to try the mono ski.

Sorry.

That's okay. Perhaps I could put this on.

Yes... Or rent a pair.

Put your weight on the downhill ski - always.

That's the ski on the downhill side. You see? That's it, really.

- Wouldn't it be better to take classes? - Don't worry.

Put your weight on the downhill ski.

- That's all you need to know. - Wait until we get to the slope, Dad.

- She's smoking again! - Take these off when you speak to Morn.

Do they fit?

Are they supposed to be this tight? They give me claustrophobia.

Claustrophobia...

And the ski pants, do they give you agoraphobia?

- Can you really trust that? - He knows what he's doing.

With this new type of ski boots, the tibial fractures tend to be uncomplicated.

The bone breaks clean at the rim.

- You say? - Yes.

Better than the old spiral fractures.

Helga! The snow is wet.

Get...ten bags of plaster.

Attach the photo to the lift pass, put it in the plastic bag

and thread a string through the two holes.

I'll give you one of these as well. How are you liking the annex?

- It's terrific. - Great.

Hi! Here you are.

- Are you going to use this photo? - Yes. It's my dog Bjarne.

- They might confiscate your pass. - They never check.

Last time, I had a picture of the Swedish king.

Right. Attach the photo to the lift pass, put it in the plastic bag

and thread a string through the two holes.

Here's a brochure. Great. Thank you!

Your photos.

- Photos, dear? - I thought you had them.

Do I have to do everything my bloody self?!

- There's a photo booth by the lift. - Thank you!

Hi! Let's see. Here.

- I recognize this. - It's from this summer. You took it.

- It was that night at Mario's place. - Right, right...

Attach the photo to the lift pass, put it in the plastic bag

and thread a string through the two holes. I'll give you one of these as well.

Okay.

- How do they dare? - I know.

- But it looks enjoyable. - Not if you're scared of flying.

I can't climb a ladder without feeling dizzy.

No, I guess it's not for people who are scared of flying.

I heard that fear of flying is really something else.

- That you're not really scared of flying. - No?

No, it's a way for your mind to create a more tangible danger,

but the cause is something completely different.

An overbearing mother, for example.

I do apologize. I didn't mean to give you a lecture.

It was interesting.

- I'm Lotta, by the way. - Stig.

Thirty kronor - for the four of us! Out of the question.

Listen, I want all of us on one of these.

No.

Stand in line and be prepared.

You go first, dear. When the flash goes off, you run out!

- We look like fools! - Bullshit. Are we ready? Let's go!

In! Out!

Let's see. What the hell...?

Interim time. Stig-Helmer is 97/100 ahead of Girardelli, who's in the lead.

The rumors about him being done because of his engagement to Lotta are quashed.

He's in the best shape ever,

yet again showing us that he's the best alpine skier of all times.

'Hi! 'Hi!

- How's it going? - I'm a bit nervous.

I can see that.

- Time for a little "hilly." - A "hilly?"

One for the hill.A little shot.

- Isn't that dangerous? - Sure, but skiing is dangerous.

- My God, I'm so nervous. - Don't worry. It'll be fun.

Sorry to keep asking, but why don't you rent some longer skis?

No, these are great. They're very practical and easy to carry.

There's just one problem. They're no good for skiing.

- What is ski hosting? - You go through the whole lift system.

So that you can find your way.

- All the slopes? Even the difficult ones? - Yes. Especially those.

- What is this? - Denatured alcohol.

Only joking... It's an Alp specialty - Stroh Rum.

Great for your nerves and knees.

- It's very strong. - No more than 8 percent. Another one?

That's enough...

- Have you done a lot of skiing? - I went on a school trip to Trillevallen.

The equipment was completely different back then. I'll need to brush up a bit.

- Have you been skiing before? - No, never. I'm actually a bit nervous.

Nervous? The worst thing you can do is to break a leg.

Aren't those buckles supposed to sit on the outside?

- What's that? - A braking parachute, if it goes too fast.

What is it?

Vibration dampers that make the skis steadier.

Stereo system!

What's that on your pole?

A digital thermometer that measures the snow temperature.

- There are so many new gadgets! - Right.

- Is that the latest model? - Yes, 86 Demo X Prototype.

They haven't come out yet.

- And these? - They're fine. Model year '79.

- No vibra... -...tion dampers.

- Are you ready? - Yup.

I'll be damned!

Ey up!

Aren't they wonderful? Imagine starting that young. Have you got any kids?

- I'm afraid not. Have you? - No, but it's about time.

Why? Are you pregnant?

No... I'm at that age now where I feel that it's time to have kids.

- Impressive, huh? - Yes.

In Italy last year, one of those cables broke.

- Right over a ski school. 97 people died. - Oh, dear.

Another time, the whole floor fell out.

- No... - Yes.

These cabins are made in Switzerland and sold to Austria.

When they're rusty, they're sold on to Italy.

I'm glad we're not in Italy.

Then the Italians paint over the worst bits and sell them back to Switzerland.

Good morning, ladies and gentlemen. Please pay before boarding.

- How high up are we? - Let's see.

- And what's that? - That's 2,058 meters.

Right.

- See the crevasse there? - Yes.

Did you hear about the guy who fell down one of those?

- No. - Well...

They threw a rope down...

It's not dangerous. When they pulled the rope up, there was another guy there.

- The wrong guy. - No...

- So they threw him back down again. - No...

Over there, you can see the Blauhorn system. That's Kirchberghorn.

There's the glacier.

- What the heck are those clowns up to? - They're cool! H6karéngen's slalom club.

Down here is the downhill ski course. It's closed off before the competition.

It's the hardest downhill ski course in the World Cup. Right, are we all ready?

Let's make sure we stay together. Okay, let's go!

Come on, Stig!

Skis are bangin' - Hökarången!

- Grandma, don't forget the apple cake. - Stop nagging me.

Good day!

Ey...Up.

Oops!

I went too fast. I fell and dropped one of my skis.

- Did you not learn how to brake? - No, not yet. Maybe tomorrow.

He's unbelievable, that dude. Have you seen his clothes?

I think they're nice. Will I see you tonight?

I've got some lists to fill out and some telex messages to send...

What about us? I just want to know.

- What's wrong? - You're avoiding me.

- No, but I'm so damn busy today. - Okay, I get it.

Just don't work yourself to death.

Right... That's that, then.

- Did you talk to him. - Yes. It's finito.

I think you were right. He's found another girl.

I guess you'll have to find another guy.

- Hi! Do you mind if we join you? - Not at all.

- How's the vibrator going? - The vibration dampers.

- You're a great skier. - Thanks!

- Have you been skiing much? - I guess. I used to compete.

Hey“. Hey!

That doll there and her friend... Wouldn't they be great as photo models?

Huh? Natural-looking and charming.

The goulash soup was excellent.

- Did you enjoy the soup? - Very much so. What are the spices?

Garlic, paprika, some marjoram...

I could give you the recipe. It's one of our specialties.

- How nice of you. Thanks ever so much. - You're welcome.

- What were you talking about? - He asked Morn out to the disco tonight.

Niklas...

- He said he'd give me the recipe. - I didn't think it was that amazing.

- Hey... You'll never believe this. - What?

The last thing we discussed at work was a development grant application

-from a kicksled factory in Ormträsk. - And?

I just met the owner! He wants to use the two of us as photo models.

- Photo models for kicksleds? - No, for skis.

They've restructured the business.

He invited us to dinner tonight. I said yes.

- Did you tell him who you are? - I told him we're hairdressers.

Hairdressers... I guess we'll have to spruce up a bit.

- Where are we eating? - That'll be a surprise.

You go first and stop so that you can look at me.

I'll show you what I mean by leaning on the downhill ski.

Put the weight on the downhill ski, dear! Are you ready?

YES!

Closest to the old guy wins!

Watch out!

- Are you okay, darling? - Vandals! They think they own the slope.

It looked great before you fell.

No respect whatsoever for other skiers. Idiots! Where is my stuff?

It's probably up there somewhere.

Bloody ski terrorists!

People like them give us Swedes a bad reputation.

Uh-oh!

What are you doing, Franz?

Hedlund, where is the flat-bread? Just pull it off.

Right, you'll have to open your gob and talk to the girls when they get here.

Don't just sit there in silence like a fish. Turn on the charm.

- I can't help being shy. - Shy?

You're pathologically quiet. You should see a therapist.

- What the hell am I supposed to say? - For heaven's sake... All sorts of things.

Haven't you heard Hasse Tellemar on the radio?

Just gab on.

You know, wind and weather, how expensive everything is in Switzerland nowadays...

Ask the girls where they come from, if they enjoy being hairdressers and...

Make it up! Haven't you got anything between your ears?

Wait... Can you feel it? It smells like fermented herring.

- No... - Yes!

Is this where we're going?!

Fermented herring... I'll get you for this!

- Right, let's start with a drink. - How nice.

- This is Hedlund. - Lotta.

- Kerstin. - Is Hedlund your first name?

- No, it isn't. - No.

- The weather was nice today. - Just wonderful.

- Thank you! - Thank you!

- What's this? Denatured alcohol? - No, Wolf's Paw.

"Wolf's Paw?"

A mixture of moonshine and lingonberry juice. Cheers and welcome!

- Cheers! - Cheers!

- It's expensive in Switzerland these days. - Do you think? No more than in Sweden.

I guess you're right.

- Where do you come from? - We live in Stockholm.

Right.

- We're from Norrland. - Is that so?

Have some more fermented herring, girls.

So, if we can just trick those in charge in Stockholm,

then well scrap the kicksleds and start making skis instead.

- Snus? - No, thanks. We'll have to go soon.

You can't leave already. Let's fold the table down and have a dance.

- We've got the latest "Sax Party" record. - No, we have to leave now.

Fine. But you'll be our photo models, won't you?

It's the real deal, and you're supporting rural Sweden.

- Of course. Right, Lotta? - Sure.

- Bye, girls! - Thank you!

See you on Wednesday.

- Snus, moonshine and lingonberry juice. - Development grant.

- Well, then... That was that. - Yes.

- Do you know what you've got, Hedlund? - No.

- Shoddy timing. - What's that?

Stig-Helmer!

Are you up, Stenmark?

- Come in! - Hi! Are you ready already?

Ready?

Did you enjoy skiing so much, or was it...Lotta?

I wanted to ask you a favor.

Please don't call me Stig-Helmer when Lotta is listening.

So, what should I call you? Karl-Helmer?

I told her my name is Stig.

Hey... Stig H. That sounds fancy.

Stig H. Olsson. "May I present to you the famous Stig H. Olsson!"

I'm going to go and get some breakfast.

But... What the hell...? I can't open the door. Hedlund!

- Have you met Nalle before? - Yes.

We met last summer in Rimini. I went down here to surprise him.

- How nice... For him, I mean. - Really nice.

You guys are weird.

- Do you find me frightening? - No.

- No? Come on, a little bit? - No...

- You think I'm ugly. - Not exactly, no.

"Not exactly?" So, you think I'm pretty?

Yes.

You're going to give me a compliment. Tell me I'm pretty.

- You're pretty. - Louder and with feeling. Come on.

Stop it... You are pretty.

Thank you. You really know how to handle a woman.

How's it going?

- Felix! What are you doing here? - I'm doing a photo shoot.

Travel agencies?

- I'm shooting planks - Swedish planks. - As if we haven't got enough of those.

Hey... You might be able to help me out with something.

Head Office keeps going on about cover photos for next year's catalogue.

I stumbled over the best run. You have to climb for three hours.

Then it's pure powder. Mackan and I could do figure eights - an awesome shot.

- When is the photo shoot? - Tomorrow.

Get your gear on. Let's do the cover shoot today.

Climbing for three hours with the equipment? No way.

I know you. We'll carry the gear. This run is worth it. Check this out.

You take the Blauhorn Lift and then you go up on the ridge.

- The snow is just perfect. - You carry the gear and bring the beers.

Hi there, colleague!

Are you doing the snow removal as well?

No... These damn jackets...

I've told the guys at Head Office that we need new ones, but...

- I wonder where the kids are. - If they're late, it's their problem.

It's piss-warm.

Herr Ober!

- What's ice, dear? - Eis. . . bitte.

- Herr Ober! Eis, bitte! - I'll get some ice.

No, this is a restaurant. We should expect some level of service.

We're paying for the food, after all.

- Herr Ober! Eis, bitte! - Ja.

Here you are. Will that be enough?

That's the last time we eat here.

- Can't you just walk instead? - Sure, but it takes seven-eight hours.

- It's no worse than taking the elevator. - I don't take elevators.

We can hold hands. Let's go!

Good job we took the coach so you didn't have to fly. Right, Stig?

We're just going over the ridge there.

Nice adventure, isn't it? People need adventures.

Little boys need adventures more than little girls.

- So, boys are more childish than girls? - Yes.

But you should embrace your inner child.

- Are you embracing your inner child, Stig? - I'm not sure...

Stig-Hel... Stig has a beautiful model railroad at home.

Right, so you're still playing with trains, Stig?

It's not a game, it's actually an exciting hobby.

I see.

- Yummy-yummy, right? - First class!

Mackan and I will do figure eights. It'll be an awesome shot!

I'll wave when I'm ready. Do your best, we've only got one shot.

Good luck!

- Is it hard to go through deep snow? - Don't put too much weight on your back.

- Like this? - Pump up and down, vertically...

Okay!

What the hell...?!

Look!

Unbelievable... Where the hell did they come from?

This is fun!

Oopsie...

- I told you not to take this one! - It said "training slope!"

For downhill racing!

- You never said that. - You never listen to me.

Stop whining. Let's go!

- No. - What do you mean, "no?"

I'm not moving another meter.

- So you're staying here all day? - Yes.

Don't be so goddamn childish! Come on!

No.

- For goodness' sake, dear... - You can go. I'll stay here.

Sure... Sure, I'll go!

Sure!

Women!

Skis are bangin' - Hökarängen!

Bloody Hökarängen hooligans!

- Nalle seemed very upset. - No sense of humor. Look, fog.

- Oops! Why is it stopping? - The lift guy is taking lunch.

No, the power is out.

Good evening! What a lovely view. You can see all of Kirchberg.

Yes.

- You speak Swedish. - A little bit. I used to work in Sweden.

- Where? - In Säffle. Pizzeria Napoli.

And I've been speaking German to you...

I hope your husband wasn't too upset over the joke with the ice.

- Where is he, by the way? - He went down already.

- And left you here? That's stupid. - Very stupid.

You have to stay together, especially when the sight is bad.

Of course.

- May I escort you down? - Yes, please.

- My name is Gullan. - Gullan?

- RudL - Thank you.

I'm freezing! How long have we been sitting here?

Almost an hour. We'll have to rappel down!

- How? Along the wire? - No, I've got a rope here.

We'll attach it here.

So... You'll climb down first.

Then I'll climb down and then it's the girls' turn.

- Don't you think it's better to wait? - Oh no, it's just 10-12 meters. Let's see.

Lift this up first. There we are.

We'll throw the poles down. Just checking here, here and around your waist.

Ready? You go first, then me and then the girls.

- Be careful! - Right, right... Okay.

- What do I do? - Careful! Try to turn around!

No... Watch out for the pylon, Stig!

Stupid Swedes.

That went great! We missed the fog, thank God!

- Did I really go down that slope? - Yes.

A part of that slope is the downhill ski course. You've probably seen it on TV.

Yes, I think I've seen it.

- To think that I've done downhill... - Racing.

- Downhill racing done. - Done downhill racing.

Done downhill racing.

- Thank you for the lovely company. - You're welcome.

Hi! Dad broke his leg. He's in hospital.

- What happened? Was it a fall? - No, an old German guy pushed him over.

No way!

You see, the German tried to cut ahead in the lift line.

Dad was pissed off. You know what he's like.

He called the German "Liftwaffe"

and reminded him that they'd lost two world wars.

So the German pushed him over.

- Did Göte say all of that in German? - No. I translated.

Poor Göte... Now he can't teach me skiing.

Here's the fog. We'd better head down.

- Let's stick together now. - Of course, darling. Corning!

Wait!

- Are you okay? - I'm fine.

- Where are we? - I don't know.

- Maybe we're on the glacier. - No, I think that's the other way.

- Do you know which way we're walking? - No... Good point.

SILENCE HOSPITAL

- You can't park here. Move the car! - Silence! Hospital.

Come here, Niklas and Sara!

It's very steep here. What if it's a crevasse?

- Please be careful, Lotta. - Yes.

- Hey, Stig... - Yes?

Could you pull me up again before I fall down?

Here, Lotta.

We can't stumble around like this. What are we going to do?

- We could build a bivouac. - What?

If you're caught out on the mountain, you should dig a hole for yourself.

Oh my God...

- The room is nice and cozy. - Sure, I don't mind just lounging about.

And it's cheap, too. Why didn't you pay the insurance bills?

I thought the home insurance covered things like this.

You thought?

I brought you some flowers and a German-Swedish phrase book.

Mom is taking lessons from a Swiss downhill racing champion.

Junior champion.

You know, Rudi at Katzenhutte. He promised to take me out...a bit.

- Since you can't. - He's really sweet.

I think the fog is starting to lift. I'll crawl out and have a look.

Be careful.

- Hey... - Yes?

What a strange crevasse.

What...?

Oh my God!

I'm glad it wasn't serious.

- What the hell...? - Cheers, colleague!

- And there we sat on the roof... - Here you are, sir!

Right, ladies and gentlemen... First we take the little glass.

And then we drop it into the big glass. Yes!

And the result, ladies and gentlemen, is what we call a Submarine. Cheers!

You can also use vodka, but then it's called a Russian Submarine.

- Thanks very much! - Sit down and have a Submarine!

Stig H. Olsson - what a bloody loser!

Maggie! Hi, doggie!

- Hey, Stig... What are you doing? - What?

I'll have to put in an offer to Lisa to pry her away from those geeks.

- Just a shame that she can't stop buzzing. -"Buzzing?"

You know, talk about things, show her feelings... That sort of nonsense.

She's nice to look at...now that she's a bit bronzed.

That's the worst bit.

Uta! Get some more sauerkraut from the basement.

Yes, Mr. Katz!

- Hi, Bernhard! It's Rudi. - Yes, I can hear! How are you?

Bernhard, it might sound strange, but I have a favor to ask of you.

You have a patient there with the name Jönsson. He's Swedish.

Yes, he will be discharged today.

Bernard, I don't ask you for favors very often...

They got the X-ray plates mixed up. They'll have to redo the cast.

Of course, you don't have to pay anything. It's free of charge.

Rudi asked me out to lunch today.

- Do you think I should say yes? - Of course! Sounds nice.

- At Katzenhiltte? - Yes.

- He's picking me up in a sleigh. - How romantic!

- Should I tell your dad? - He'll have to tolerate it.

No, keep it a secret.

Let's do a "gonna Rudi."

- Hi there! How are you doing? - Good.

You're looking nice and tanned.

If you like, we can go skiing together now.

- I see. - Yes.

- I'm afraid I'm busy today. - You are?

We're arranging a slalom competition this afternoon.

I think it's gonna be pretty nice.

I'd love it if you could make it.

We'll see. Like I said, I'm so damn busy today.

And then we smack on some design

and make up something silly like "vibration dampers." That's that done.

- And call it "a ski for the people?" - Sure.

Why act stupid? Then you might end up like Hedlund.

Right, Hedlund?

- Hello, girls! This is Felix. - Hi, Felix!

- He's taking the shot. - The photo.

That's right.

- Are you not skiing? - No, in Norrland we only go cross-country.

Only Stockholmers go downhill.

- The light is better down there. - Sure. - Hedlund!

You left your kicksled!

Try to look a bit happier. These are cool skis. Laugh! Smile!

Such incredibly ugly skis!

THE TOP CLASS SKI BRÄNNSTRÖM'S - THE SWEDISH SKI

I love your anorak! I've been looking for an old one just like yours.

- Is it second hand? - No, it's my old one.

Everyone calls you Stig H. What does the H stand for?

- Harald or Hugo or...? - Helmer - my granddad was called Helmer.

Helmer?

I'll be damned... Look!

My God! I'd give anything to hear what they're saying.

I'm sure he's whispering sweet words of love into her seashell-shaped ears.

And she needs it.

The plumbing system is undersized.

It always causes problems during high season.

My husband Göte... He's in the heating and plumbing industry.

Perhaps he could have a look at it.

And the meatball.

You're so sweet.

But I think Ferdinand is even sweeter.

"But why aren't you playing and butting heads with the other bulls?"

"I'm much happier here, where I can sit quietly...

...and smell the flowers."

I do like old things, but do you have to wear this old hat?

- It's comfy. It's my dad's old bandy hat. - I don't care.

"And she removed his glasses...

...tousled his hair...

...and suddenly, he transformed from a school teacher to a sex bomb."

- Kiss me! - Nah“.

What do you mean?

Oh, Helmer!

- Neat, huh? - About time. Great! Are you taking over?

- Have you gone through gates before? - Hi, Lotta! Glad you could make it.

Sure. You've got to be loyal to the group.

- Right, Helmer? - No.

- Hi there! Can we have two beers? - Sure.

Let the Snowroller Championships begin! We'll start with Sara and Niklas Jönsson.

Ready, steady, go!

Sara takes the lead.

But as you know, it's not about winning. It's about being first.

Sara finishes...

You can have your ugly hat back. It might bring luck.

Thank you! Here.

- Good luck! - Thanks! And to you.

- How do you like Lotta? - She's nice.

- She's very bubbly. - Yes.

She seems to like you. That's great. You need someone to perk you up a bit.

Ready, steady, go!

Next we have Lotta Modin, competing against a style icon:

Algernon Wickham-Twistleton-Ffykes. It's going to be a tough race!

We'll get a bigger goal next time.

We managed to convince Mr. Brännström and Mr. Hedlund,

but they can't ski, so we've allowed them to use garbage bags.

It's very even. Check out the style!

What's going on? Hedlund quits.

Put your hands together for the winner Brännström.

How is your shape, Olsson?

The last race: a duel between Stig H. Olsson and my colleague Nalle.

Olsson, I'm going to give you a handicap.

Ready, steady, go! And they're off. It's even. It's a close call!

But Stig H. puts too much weight on his back.

- Stig H. loses control! - My God!

Bloody hell!

I can fly - I'm not afraid.

Good day.

Happy New Year!

Filthy!

- I hope it's not serious. - You haven't seen Hedlund?

No.

Welcome down, Stig-Helmer!

The first person to fly a kite straight into a poster.

Now she'll get to play nurse.

- How did it go? - Ankle distortion and shoulder luxation.

I sprained my ankle and hurt my shoulder, but it's nothing.

- What would you like to drink? - Well...

Ankle distortion for you and a shoulder luxation on the rocks.

Time for the Birdie Dance. You remember?

A bottle of champagne with four glasses, please.

- Hi, Lotta. Would you like to dance? - No...thanks.

- I'd rather sit and chat. - Can you tell me what you see in him?

Everything. He's anxious, shy, childish and insecure.

And he's not a good skier. Just my type, you know.

- Happy New Year! - Thanks a lot. Great. Bye.

- You haven't seen Hedlund? - No, we haven't.

Here is some homemade goulash soup, and the recipe. Happy New Year!

- Thanks ever so much, Rudi! - Thank you!

You two seem like old pals.

- Göte... I think you must be jealous. - Of him? Why?

Stop arguing. It's a new year!

- I've stopped smoking. - What?!

Yes, I've made up my mind.

I'm also planning on making another ski trip soon.

- Does anybody want to join? - Sure! You and I can go, Morn.

Just the two of us.

- Then we'll have some peace and quiet. - Well, I'll be damned.

- Cheers, my dear! - Cheers! Happy New Year.

- I brought you a New Year's present. - A present?

How kind of you.

- It might be on the large side. - No... I'll grow into it.

- All that talk about indolent males... - Sorry?

Nothing.

- Hey“. - No, we haven't seen Hedlund.

No.

- Did you pick up my shoes? - Yes. Taxi!

So, you've joined the Greens, too?

Have you got any snus?

SAAMI HANDICRAFT

BRÄNNSTRÖMS MECHANICS

Brénnstrém, they're here.

- Hi! - Hi there!

What...? Are you here?

I'm sorry, but we're expecting visitors from the Department of Commerce...

Senior Administrative Officer Modin - Director Brännström and Clerk Hedlund.

'Hi!

Where could they be? We left at the same time.

We just ran out of gas.

A shovel?

Drop the anchor...now!

- But, Göte...! - No buts! Drop the anchor for Pete's sake!

How could anyone be so stupid as to throw in an anchor without a rope?

I tried to tell you there wasn't a rope, but you just shouted at me!

Take in the fenders!

Subtitle translation by Jenny Gregory