Original subtitles

Get your motor running.

Head on.

David Geddes.

Congratulations. Thank you.

Bruce Nelson.

Bruce,

a sergeant.

About time, huh?

Congratulations, Sergeant.

Thank you, Commissioner.

Yeah, well, people rise at their own speed. It's nice that he stuck it out.

You know who really would have appreciated this?

If you're speaking about my former partner, I think he's long forgotten

this.

Christopher Morgan.

I said pull it over.

Now!

License, registration, and proof of insurance.

Look, Officer Roulette, why bust my chops, huh?

Huh. You've been an officer a long time.

On and off. Just rejoined the department.

You know, in Marin County, a few months ago.

Bet you've seen more than your share of speeders.

Oh, yeah.

I've seen a thing or two.

Wow. You must be like a real top gun then, huh?

See, now you get the picture. Oh, fly boy.

Guess you wouldn't mind giving me your license, registration, and proof of

insurance. Please.

You know, I used to be pretty well known in these parts.

Really? Well, hey, tell you what, come back, get your autograph then, huh?

On a ticket.

Guess now we have to call Bruce.

Sergeant Bruce.

Hey. Hey. Way to go, Bruce. Isn't that... I don't believe it.

Hey, looking good. See you later.

Son of a gun.

Hey, Bruce!

My God. I go away for a few years and look what they do.

You look great.

Hey, Ponch, good to see you.

Grossman!

Detective Grossman.

All right.

It's been a long time, Ponch.

John, uh, I guess it's Captain Baker now.

Captain. And you're still a motor officer.

I mean, not that you shouldn't be. I just returned to the force.

Just like that, after... Well, not soon enough.

The way Bruce looked up there, Punch, you would have been so proud.

Do it again for Punch. One time.

Yes,

sir. Thank you, sir.

Listen, I'm sorry I'm late. I tried to be here, but some hot shot excited me.

Me. Do you believe it?

Who would do that?

A guy named, uh... What?

That's the guy.

That's my cue.

Yeah, me too. Right behind you. See ya. See ya, guys.

Be nice.

My second reunion of the day.

Let's break out the champagne.

Did you give Officer Poncherello a ticket?

Yes, sir, I did.

cited off-duty Officer Poncherello for doing 85 and for reckless endangerment.

The only thing I left out was the contempt of cop charge, but it's not too

late for that. That's okay, really.

No hard feelings.

We're both fellow officers, right?

You're the older model, but still a fellow officer, right, pal?

Yeah.

No hard feelings, pal.

captain roulette something about that guy i don't like

could be worse how's that uh i cite you for a 1081

dissolving a friendship on the pretense of moving away i mean come on how long

has it been 15 years john a lot's been going on a lot's been

going on for all of us

It's my bike.

Hey, pull it over.

Pull it over.

Got some ID?

How old are you?

28.

Now, John, there's something very familiar about all this.

Yeah.

Yeah, I remember you guys.

Pull it over there, would you, please?

Listen, do you have any idea how fast you were going? I don't know. I'm only

six.

Hey, 7 Mary 4.

Yeah, 7 Mary 3.

Let's ride.

down the top crank up the beach boy baby don't let the music stop we gonna ride

it too but just can't ride it no more

So if you don't mind me asking, what have you been doing for the last 15

years?

This and that, painting mostly.

Painting? What's the matter? A guy with a badge can't have an artistic side?

I guess it's just that I never really saw that side of you.

A lot's changed, John.

On the other hand, the two of us in uniform riding tandem feels real good,

partner.

Yeah, I don't get to ride that much anymore.

Yeah, right, Captain Baker.

A lot's changed, Punch.

A lot changed.

There's plenty of room in this deal for everybody. Let's put this thing to bed.

Now call me by four, okay?

We got him.

I'm here.

To portion our sights, we are ready to rock and roll.

Right on, baby.

That'll fetch 58.5 down in Cabo. Hey, what's that peso?

Nothing if you don't grab it soon.

I gotta go, bye.

Yo.

Yeah, we're passing National right now. We're gonna need to pick up at the La

Cienega exit.

I'm on my way.

Let's do it.

Ultimate driving machine, my butt.

Hey, buddy.

Need some help? Nah, I don't need any help.

Buddy, I insist.

Hey, look.

Don't shoot, okay? Don't shoot.

Take anything you want.

I got a new set of golf clubs in my car.

Yeah. I got a new set of golf clubs in my car.

Don't move or I'll come back and I'll throw you over.

Okay, listen up, please.

This morning at approximately 11 a.m. after we were treated to Bruce Nelson

being promoted to sergeant, congratulations, Bruce. And being

treated to Bruce's first time ever in a clean uniform.

The real treat was seeing Nelson in a clean uniform.

That was my line. You heard me right.

As I was saying, a driver in a late model Porsche experiences engine trouble

on the 10 freeway near La Cienega.

He pulled over to the shoulder. The victim was pulled from his car.

Suspect was white, male, mid-30s, shiny metallic handgun, and he was wearing

sunglasses.

This is the 35th high-end carjacking in the last three months.

And over half of these vehicles have been spotted south of the border in Cabo

San Lucas.

Now, the border patrol has stepped up its watch, but they're still showing up

down there.

So at the request of the governor, we've set up a task force to get to the bottom

of this problem.

Captain Baker here has a list of the names of the task force.

Sergeant McFall, roulette's partner.

He's no sergeant.

No sergeant's my first name.

Thank you, Commissioner.

Okay, leading the task force will be Sergeant Bruce Nelson.

Detective Grossman, roulette, and McFall.

Officer Poncherello.

Flyboy.

Ponch? It is you!

The last time I saw you, you were on that motorcycle flying down a 405.

You were the bomb.

Oh, it's great to see you, Punch.

Yeah, good to see you too, guy.

I heard you're on that carjacking task force.

Oh, you're going to be out there again getting busy on them bad boys.

So how you doing?

Funny.

Thank you.

Thank you so much.

All right, see you.

You're not Bonnie. No, I'm definitely not Bonnie.

But from what I've heard, you definitely are a punch.

Yeah, yeah, that's me.

Who are you?

Check out her name, please.

Officer Baker?

Sandy Baker.

See, she's the captain's boo.

His wife.

And that whole walk up to her and kiss her thing?

You don't even want to go there.

You feel me?

Yeah, I feel you, buddy.

Thanks. No problem. See, I got your back.

Hey. Yeah?

Who the heck are you?

Man, that was cold.

That's all I'm saying.

Oh, come on.

Last time I saw you, you were a little kid. How was I supposed to recognize

you? How many kids named Stormy did you know?

See, I remember you as that little CHP Explorer Scout, always hanging around

the station. Now you're flying air units.

It's a little hard to handle.

You talking about the concept or about my flying itself?

That's the one for today.

And now's the chance he's going in for some yogurt. It's gonna be the most

expensive scoop you ever ate.

Hey, Chet, don't screw up, because if you screw up, Monica's gonna kill us.

Ricky, you do the driving. I do the stick-ups, okay?

Well, the chance is a car breaks down and the carjackers happen to be there.

Maybe they just drive around all day waiting for someone to pull over.

Or they're in boots with an auto shop.

I don't think so.

Why? Because it's a bad idea?

Because I wrote you.

No, I checked with the owners of the last five stolons.

They were all serviced at different shops.

Hey, buddy.

You need some help?

Hello, police.

Maybe we've been coming at this from the wrong angle. How do you mean?

It's not just how they're jacking the cars.

It's how they're able to make them vanish into thin air.

I'll tell you who's not going to vanish into thin air. You eating that junk.

Subpoena. Got to get to court. See you.

That would pass for nutrition when you went through the academy, you know, back

in the day. And what day might that be?

Attention all units, 215 just occurred, San Diego Freeway South, Blue Dodge

Viper, Nora John Paul, 986.

Suspects last seen exiting 405 at Hawthorne. Sounds like our car jack.

Woo-ha!

See you boys at the crime scene!

What color is this guy on his planet?

79S10. We're en route to the two-kid zone.

79 Charles, who do you have responding?

Nelson, Roulette, and Paciorello. Over.

Okay, 10-4 that. Have them switch to the blue frequency. I'm in pursuit.

Code 2.

I just had a sighting of the Viper on Gaffey Street.

We just passed it. We gotta go around the block.

I got it, Captain.

79 Mary 13, we got an officer down. Get here now.

Corner of Gaffey and 30th.

He's lost a lot of blood, but he's going to be okay.

It's not your fault, Bunch.

Hey, come on, you guys. Nobody picks on my new partner but me.

But if you want to know the truth, I tied a string to him and dropped

breadcrumbs.

Thanks a lot, partner.

Sure, boss.

That's the last thing he probably expected, huh?

Anything else you want to tell me, John?

No.

Look, the report says here that Officers Poncherello and Roulette arrived from

the south.

Now, why wasn't Sergeant Nelson with them? It doesn't make sense.

That's probably my fault. I should have radioed in there 20 at the cross

streets. I should have done this sooner. Oh, come on, John. Where there's smoke,

there's fire.

If operations picked...

Poncherello for this task force, fine.

But I don't want to deal with any more of his... Poncherello is a good officer.

I mean, if anybody should know, it should be me. I rode with the guy for

seven years. Yeah, well, you're about to relive your experience.

The governor is pressing me real hard for some arrests.

And with Bruce off the task force, I need an experienced hand.

Well, there's officer... Please.

Thanks, John.

Cigar smoking, ogre eating, club swinging blockheads.

You know, I'll tell you something.

These guys, they eventually hurt themselves in cars like these.

They don't know that.

So I suppose he's doing them a favor, right?

Sure. Do us all a favor and shut the hell up.

This was not your best day.

What do you mean? We brought in a viper. No, you brought the heat down on us.

How was we supposed to know the guy's dreams? The first thing you learn in

carjacking school is to make sure you get any cell phones they might have.

Hey, what?

I... Did you even search that guy before you took off?

I didn't think he was going to have a phone in his pocket.

You're not paid to think.

You're paid to get cars, and it's almost time for another Cabo run.

So get the hell out there and get to work.

And there you have it, the Z2000, concept car of the future.

Very good. Now stand over here.

Hey, guys, how's

Bruce?

He's going to be all right.

Potch took some flack for it, though.

That ought to light up your life.

Not really.

We were both pretty wild out there.

You and Ponch are cut from the same bolt of cloth.

Yeah, I don't think so.

Hey, so what's so special about this car?

You want sticker shock?

One million bucks.

I think we're bodyguarding it. The traffic control thing's just a cover.

Okay, here we go. Camera one, camera two, let's roll. And here we go, all

cameras.

Camera three. Do we have a camera three working? I don't see anybody by that

camera.

Perixa, isn't there a guy from the Caltrans Authority that works down at

the station?

Yeah, he pulls the camera feed over from Caltrans.

That's it.

Stormy?

Yeah, our border patrol must be like Swiss cheese letting all those stolons

through.

You know, yesterday, I didn't mean anything by it.

Kissing Sandy, I mean.

Would have invited you to the wedding if somebody would have known where to find

you.

What do you want from me?

All right, all right. Hey, he's going to get his seven grand.

Because, I promise.

It's... Listen, I got to go. I said, I got to go.

Need to talk to you about some carjackings?

Carjackings? Don't know nothing about that.

Caltrans and the CHP both come under the same state agency, right?

That is correct.

So, think of me like a brother.

Your brother, okay.

Yeah, like a big brother. Uh-huh.

You know, the one who's nice and patient, teaches you how to throw the

ball when you're good.

Or whoops the hell out of you when you're bad.

You think you can keep an eye out for carjacking activity on those monitors of

yours?

Yes, I can.

There you go.

That'd be a good little brother.

So what are you painting, landscapes or news?

The Golden Gate, actually.

That sounds pretty.

Sold any of your work?

John, we should probably talk.

How about dinner?

All right, I guess Sandy wouldn't mind setting another plate tonight.

You make it two and you got a deal. I got someone I want you to meet.

79 Mary 4, you have traffic on the blue frequency.

79 Mary 4, 10-4.

When?

Okay, we'll be there.

It's Bruce.

He needs another transfusion, but there's a shortage of his blood type.

The transplant that's supposed to deliver the blood two hours ago is stuck

in traffic somewhere on the 405.

He's going to be tied up in traffic for hours.

Hey, you're the captain. You give the word and Stormy's back here, right?

Okay.

The dispatcher said that blood van should be right around here somewhere.

There it is!

There's no room to land on that shoulder.

Hey, this is Bruce we're talking about. We'll make our own room.

Are you serious?

You know, there's something I always used to say to John when he'd ride me

for breaking the rules.

sometimes you just gotta break the mold.

Are you even for real with that bust the mold stuff?

What's next, you gonna call me a jive turkey?

Come on, get with the times, man. Say something 90s.

All right, okay.

Sometimes you just gotta bust a move?

That's 80s talk, but it's close enough.

All right, there's our landing pad right there.

Where? I don't see nothing.

There. The 18-wheeler?

and just take care of the land and I'll do the rest.

I'm here for the typo RH negative blood headed for UCLA.

I can't give you blood just like that. There's all kinds of paperwork to sign.

Paperwork? There's no time for paperwork.

My friend's a cop who had an on-duty accident.

He needs that blood now.

I could lose my job for this.

You're going to lose a lot more than your job if you don't give me that

blood.

All right, but you're going to have to deal with the paperwork on this thing.

Good. I'll sign whatever it is you want.

Later, thanks.

I got it!

Go, Stormy!

Pod, you know I can't!

Let's go now!

This fool must be trippin'. Gonna come into my chopper, gonna tell me to bust

the mold.

The chopper gonna bust my doggone head if he falls off that boat.

Who's he think he is, Jackie Chan?

You better not fall!

Are you sure you know what you're doing?

Like I've been telling everybody I've been hanging from a cable for a living

for the last ten years.

I thought you were painting.

That's right.

The Golden Gate Bridge.

Ten times, once a year.

Do you have any idea what this is?

Take a wild guess.

This is your jacket.

And you tell me, do you think there's any room in here to bury another one of

your accidents?

In 15 years, nothing has changed for you, has it? Have you any idea how many

regulations you broke today?

17. Well, 18 if you include... Are you wise enough to me? No, sir. I counted up

the violations myself. And I'm willing to accept any and all reprimands. What?

You did this knowingly?

Yes, sir.

I didn't think you'd mind, sir.

Oh, and for what reason?

Two reasons, sir.

First is, I don't think there's an officer here who wouldn't risk his life

and twist a few regulations in the course of saving another officer's life.

Can't wait for the second reason.

Well, since everything's on computer these days, I knew you wouldn't worry

about the filing cabinet tipping over.

I'd almost forgotten what it was like having you around.

Just flashing those pearly whites isn't going to get you out of this one.

Sir? Yeah?

I was the one who authorized Paunch to go with that chopper.

John, there's a limit to how many times you can take the heat for this guy.

You hear what I'm trying to say? Whoa, whoa.

What does that mean, take the heat from me?

Commissioner, it's a bigger speech.

No, wait a second, John.

When did you have to take the heat from me?

You want to go there?

Yeah.

After Bruce's accident.

You mean...

If you hadn't come to my rescue, Gutierre would have blamed me, right?

Look, you and Roulette were so busy back there hot-dogging that you left Bruce

behind. Nobody could have predicted that tour bus.

Yeah, but if three of you would have stuck together, then maybe it would have

been a different story. The tour bus maybe has seen you. I know, John, and

I'm the one that has to live with that.

Excuse me. What?

Sorry, there's a young man here who says he's your dinner date.

John, I'd like you to meet Frank Jr.

Dad, check it out. There are landmines everywhere.

Shh, Frank Jr. Well, that's what Grandma calls them.

I'm sorry about that. It's the neighbor's dog.

Yeah, who's trained to use your yard as a toilet. It's been going on for a year

now. Plus, it's over $1,000 in repairs.

Hi, my name's Frankie.

Hi, Frankie.

Whoa,

partner. You got a big problem.

Yeah, I've tried everything with the guy. Looks like I'm gonna have to sue

him. You know how long that takes.

Come on, Frankie. Supper's almost ready. Come with me inside.

Okay.

Everything's under control, John. I know exactly how to handle this.

Francis Poncherello, Esquire, is on the case.

Why doesn't that comfort me?

Sandy, the dinner was awesome.

Thanks, Ponch.

Sandy, let me ask you a question.

What would you do if a fellow officer gave you a ticket?

It's a violation of both department policy and state law to not pay tickets.

I'd pay it.

Wow, you two are really meant for each other.

Watch would rather spend all his waking hours scheming how to get out of it.

It's the principle, John.

Yeah. Have you tried being nice to this fellow officer?

Do people do that?

Duh.

Lesson for the day, free of charge.

Hey, Frankie.

Hooked up to the web.

Do you want to surf? Okay.

I think you two can use some catching up time.

What was that?

Secret signal or something?

You know how it is with wives.

I did.

Frankie was two years old when Carol died.

I'm sorry.

Yeah, it was rough.

I remember when you met her.

Where's the paint?

All right.

All right. Thank you.

There. Poncherella?

Yeah, Poncherella.

But everybody calls me Punch.

Here.

I saved it that one time.

But I couldn't save her in the end.

Oh, yeah.

I would have been there for you, Ponch, but it's... I mean, after your wedding,

you just disappeared.

Carol was sick, John.

It took my whole life to take care of her.

Hey, I think you need a three-quarter inch.

Hey, what's with all these boxes?

You planning on moving or something?

No, no. We just moved into this place about a year ago.

There's stuff that we haven't got to yet.

Hey, John, I think I know how these cars are disappearing.

There's a lot of

paperwork to do, but these guys can vote them right in the Central Records.

They can?

Yeah, Stone Age technology wasn't cutting it against modern age crooks, so

we had to modernize it. Hey, McFall?

McFall? Yeah?

Uh, can you go into the archival base and pull up some information, some case

files for Punch? Captain, do wrist-based CPUs outperform cyst-based CPUs?

Uh,

does a cup like donuts?

Oh, like with sprinkles.

McCall.

Do me a favor and see if you can pull up any cases that relate car theft to

moving vans. Anything say mid circa 70s, somewhere in that area. Put it on my

email because I'm real busy there. Got it.

Roulette? Yeah.

Brought you some coffee.

Nonfat latte?

Yeah, yeah. Latte, yeah.

Thanks.

You know, uh, about that ticket.

Still stands.

I drank from that cup.

Oh, can't we all just get along?

How can you work with that guy?

Well, I'm the by-the-book stickler who uses common sense and cool reason.

He's the stubborn yet crazy risk-taker with an occasional flash of genius.

It's a tried-and-true combination. Here we go.

It's the only case we have of a 1976 Bushkin moving van.

They had a car carrier disguised as a moving van.

You think they're involved?

If it could be done with a moving van, why not a tour bus?

It explains why they would try to turn Bruce into a hood ornament, not to

mention how they're getting the cars into Mexico.

So what do we do?

Stop every tour bus in Los Angeles?

Stop and search all tour buses.

Unknown suspects possibly using tour bus as vehicle transport for 215 activity.

Units observing above vehicle are to contact 79 Charles immediately.

Okay, you're all awake. Guess what?

Here is the house that used to be the home of Rock Hudson.

who sold it to henry winkler oh

come on whoa hey the funds was in russia no

guess who henry winkler sold it to

Pat Sajak.

Wheel of Fortune.

Wheel, the wheel. Yes, look right there. You might see Vanna coming out after a

wonderful visit.

Look at, oh, here we go. Next big stock coming up.

What's the problem, officer?

Mind if I have a look around?

No, come right in.

Ladies and gentlemen, a guest.

Russian defectors, something?

No, no, no, no, no. KGB?

No, no, no, sir.

Smuggling by act? No, sir, no, sir. This is just a routine check.

You American badass cop, Dirty Harry?

Your sign, please.

I'm sorry, I can't.

Regulations were not allowed.

But thank you.

All right.

You can be on your way.

Thank you very much. Let's hear our guest, Ed Harry.

Okay, I don't speak English.

Okay. Ah, look at this. Guess what house we are now. This is the house of the

very, very famous star, Sylvester Stallone.

Nothing.

Rocky, you don't remember?

Come here.

Rocky with the... Rocky Balboa.

Rocky Balboa, right, right. Wait, wait, please, don't watch the fighting. I

don't have insurance for this. All right, here we go. Take a shot of

Rocky's house, and we're off. Thank you.

No, we all go to the boutique down off of Doheny.

All right.

Come to Papa.

You absolutely.

Doris, hold on.

Damn it!

No, not you, Doris. The mechanic who worked on my car.

The one Nancy recommended?

Oh, yeah!

She's crooked, man.

Well, I'm going right back there.

Now, if this engine explodes, it's going to be their problem.

Hey, Lake, what's your problem?

She's not... Pulling over.

That's the problem.

Hey, no one's ever kept driving before, you know?

Oh, the smoking's gonna last for that much longer.

We're gonna have to take it down old school.

Hey!

You jerk!

Not you, Doris. Somebody just rammed me.

Come on, lady.

We're just a block away from an on-ramp.

79 Charles and 79 Marriott 4, we're in the area.

79 Charles, that car that was out of control looks like a possible DUI.

We're in pursuit and we're going to exit Havenhurst. Let's go, Ponch.

What is going on my driving record?

31 tour companies have now filed a petition to the governor demanding the

Highway Patrol cease its policy.

Meanwhile, yesterday's collision in Sherman Oaks reportedly began with an

incident on the 101.

The big question is, could it have been avoided if the CHP had not been so

preoccupied with tour bus pullovers?

This carjacking task force was supposed to get the governor off my back. Now I

feel like I'm wearing him like a straitjacket. Yeah, well, maybe we ought

to tell the governor that they... Whoa, whoa, whoa.

You're beginning to sound like Poncherello.

Wait a minute.

Was this tour bus APB his idea?

Fine.

Fine. As of this second... You have pulled over your last tour bus.

She wouldn't stop.

I mean, even after we hit her. That Mercedes was pre-sold.

Your screw-ups are costing me money.

Cops are right there. I have orders from Cabo for cars.

Now load up the Porsche and go get me a car I can sell.

Don't even think about coming back here empty-handed again.

That's it.

That's it.

All right, nice and slow now. Come on.

That's it.

Bring it in.

Slow down. Nice.

That's it. Slow down.

That's it. Stop right there.

Nice.

Oh, come on, John. Where you going?

This is a piece of cake. She's really terrific.

Look, I'm out of here, okay? I mean, are you crazy? This is a TV show.

Come on, John, you'll get your $1,200.

She's fair, she's good. A lot of my friends have used her. Oh, great. Oh,

come on, it's a no-lose situation, partner.

Honch, I mean, you don't understand. This is gonna be mortifying, okay? I'm a

captain in the Highway Patrol.

You want me to appear on national television?

Yeah, isn't that cool? Oh, yeah, talking about a dog crapping on my lawn. Oh,

come on, John, it's a slam dunk, and believe me, no one... is going to see

this. Are you sure about that? Yeah, it's in the middle of the day.

No one.

Real people, real cases.

This is Judge Judy.

This is her courtroom.

And this is the plaintiff who says that this man's dog is messing on his

property and owes him $1,200 in replacement bucks.

Who are you?

I'm Mr. Baker's advisor.

You have a name?

Officer... Pontrello.

So, Mr. Baker, this is your problem. You live next door to this gentleman. You

have a lawn. According to you, sir, this animal, lovely-looking animal, has been

leaving you precious trinkets on your lawn for a very long time.

It's caused a substantial amount of damage.

How much damage?

Approximately $1,200.

You have pictures of the damage that this dog has caused?

I do, Your Honor.

All right. Mr.

Poncherello has pictures.

Can I just say, he could have taken worse pictures.

I don't know how, but he could have taken a worse picture.

There's no question that the dog has walked.

Right. I'm asking you if you walked the dog, sir. Thank you. That's my point.

I'm a large man. My wife is constantly trying to get me to lose weight, Your

Honor. How do I do it? She makes me walk the dog.

I assume there are times, then, that you do not walk this dog on a leash.

Yeah, sometimes I don't walk him on a leash. It's a great, big, healthy thing.

I like to see him run. Okay.

Tell her about the snorkel.

Snorkel, snorkel.

The dog does this snorkeling at night.

Perhaps I just explain, you know, somewhere between a snore and a gargle.

It's a snorkel. Can you do it? Yeah, could you do it?

Your Honor.

You can't do it.

Can you do it?

Have you ever heard this sound? You are his advisor?

Yes. Mr. Poncherello's supposed to step up here.

I would like to hear that. Could you try to imitate the sound that you've heard

outside?

That's me, Your Honor.

That's me at night.

Shh. Water, please. Mr. Nyman.

Shh.

So far, they've seen your dog on the property.

They've heard this sound that they say clearly doesn't come from you, comes

from the dog.

Pretty convincing to me. They say that they've seen the deposits.

What do you have to say for yourself, sir? Well, I'm here to tell you our

neighborhood is lousy with dogs, Your Honor. There's dogs all over the place.

And to that end, I have brought several of the dogs from my neighborhood here. A

lot of these owners were glad to come down here and help me prove my point

that it was some other dog.

The new Mustang, an elegant car to impress your clients.

Cut, cut, cut. Hold it, hold it. No, is there anybody paying attention to me

here? Look at that.

Can you believe that? Put a dog on TV, people go nuts.

And monkeys, too, especially monkeys. People go ape. It's crazy.

Mr. Norris, can you please pay attention?

Oh, yeah, no problem.

Okay.

We have the double backup security system, alarm, plus tracking device.

First, you switch your transmitter to on. Then, you can your pin number.

It's 933-26401.

Code accepted.

Are you getting on this, Mr. Norris?

Yeah, no problem, no problem.

Judge Judy, man, she's terrific.

All right, Mr. Norris, that's about it. Good luck. The Z2000 is now officially

yours for a 24-hour home test.

Oh, that's great.

Great. Super. Wonderful.

What a concept.

All right.

Come on. Come out of here.

I have proof that it is, in fact, his dog doing the deed. I'm ready to hear

you, sir.

The evidence, Your Honor.

Undisputed DNA evidence.

He says undisputed. I dispute it.

How do you know, sir, that that stuff comes from that dog?

We took it to our lab. His lab? Oh, that's fair, Your Honor.

Sorry. Sorry.

What lab?

We're California Highway Patrolmen.

Both of you?

Yes, ma'am.

Mr. Nyman, if they're going to be able to establish to me that this stuff,

which was tested in their lab, actually comes from... I figured that that's

where this was going to go.

I got the DNA expert of all time, Your Honor. That is why I would like to

introduce to the court, if I may, Mr. Johnny Cochran.

Yeah, right.

Oh, man, you gotta be kidding me.

Right.

Laugh now, pal.

Your Honor, if they can't prove the proof, there's not much you can do.

Oh, look at that beauty.

Now that looks rare.

Rare is expensive.

And expensive is good.

Tina, honey, I'm right outside the door. Just give me a sec here.

Uh... Code denied.

What the hell did he say?

Was it a blue one, a green one, a... Code denied.

Forget it.

Tina, I'll give you a little hint.

It's worth a million bucks.

Okay, you're gonna love it. Okay, baby. Are you ready for this? Okay, I'm

excited. Are you sure you're ready?

Okay, voila.

What?

But it was right here, I swear, it was right here.

Whatever.

There he is. Go.

Captain. Yes, sir. Could you sign this for me?

Sure. Here you go.

Sorry, there's some offensive matter on there.

Thanks. You bet.

Captain, I'll get back to you on this docket as soon as I can get the straight

poop.

Sir.

Cute.

Detective? Detective?

Not now, Grossman.

Great, and you got stuff in the hours?

Yeah. Ponch, come here. I want to talk to you. Hey, John.

What's up?

Where Gibbs?

Yeah, you sent your idea of keeping everything under control. It worked,

didn't it? Oh, yeah.

It worked all right.

You just made a fool out of me.

The judge ordered him to abide by the leash law. If so, facto no more mess on

John's lawn.

Yeah, it's a dumb idea, Ponch.

I'm sorry, just like your other ideas. Like that tour bus idea. I mean, I still

think I'm right about that one.

It's because you're a hot dog.

Hot dogs like to break the rules. They like to act on impulse.

Well, we caught a hell of a lot of bad guys over the years. You, me, and my hot

dog impulses. Mm-hmm. That sounds good, Punch. That sounds real good.

But when you up and left 15 years ago, I mean, I didn't have to see cars

exploding anymore.

I didn't have to take the flak for somebody taking a wild ride on a

helicopter, and I didn't have to clear the way for my partner's heroics.

Well, John, you were pretty boring.

It's responsible, all right?

That's the way I like it.

So let me make this very, very clear for you.

I'm sorry, but our days of riding together are over.

I'm still right about those tour buses.

A tour bus?

It's not possible.

Chassis could never carry the weight.

Someone did it with a moving van almost 22 years ago.

Well, this wasn't a moving van carrying cars, sir. I thought I was there.

It was a car carrier made over to look like a moving van.

You see, the chassis of those two vehicles are very, very different.

So someone could have done the same thing only this time with the touring

bus.

Well, now that is entirely possible.

There's only maybe three places I can think of capable of doing that.

I can get you the names. That'd be great.

Thank you.

Who

the

hell could that be?

Yeah, yeah, what do you want? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. How do you do?

I'm here to see a man about a car.

Wrong place.

Hey!

A concept car, hmm?

So, how do you know about us?

Now, the thing is, I work for Caltrans, and I saw what you did.

on one of our freeway monitors so uh this is a suicide mission i taped the

entire thing i gave it to an associate of mine he's going to take it to the chp

if any thing happens to me anything and they will view the tape and they're

going to see the license plate and they're going to track you down just

like i did that's a promise

all

right you win

I do.

Why don't you escort our new partner to the safe?

How come you're not talking to Uncle John anymore?

Who told you that?

Grandma.

Oh, she did, did she?

See, Uncle John really, really hates it when Daddy gets him in trouble.

So he gets mad at Daddy.

And then Uncle John, well, he doesn't want to play with Daddy. That's right.

Uncle John may be just frustrated with his own inability to tap into his inner

child.

Heard that on Ricky Lake.

Hey, partner.

What's this partner business?

Captain Baker's riding with McFall, checking out car carrier manufacturers.

So it, uh, looks like we're stuck together.

Great.

Our target's that missing concept car.

Mijo, go inside and tell your abuelita that daddy be going to work early today,

all right? Go ahead.

All right.

Let's do it.

A million dollars for a car?

The report says the guy test-owning the concept car had a prescribed route to

drive. He should have been spotted by Caltrans freeway cameras in three

places, but he wasn't.

Hey, Grossy. Hey, Ponch.

Hey, Grossy, where's Maitland?

Caltrans guy?

Hasn't come in yet.

Which is weird, because that guy's always on time.

He's Mr. Reliable.

Now, why would a guy who's Mr.

Reliable suddenly miss a day of work?

I specifically asked him to keep an eye out for carjacking activity.

These monitors are on a continuous loop.

So whatever set Maitland off has still got to be on here.

Right.

Son of a... That's the concept car.

The tour bus and the carjackers.

This is the last one on the list, Captain.

Well, hello, officers.

What can I do for you?

We're here to do routine inspections for coach conversions.

Mind if we come in?

I don't mind at all.

But, um, I think they might.

What kind of a name is roulette?

Take your chances.

Actually, uh... Hey, see those tire tracks?

They're unique to law enforcement bikes.

And how would you know that?

Age and wisdom versus youth and speed.

Watch.

It's Maitland.

He's still alive.

Head south, fastest way possible.

You got it, boss.

I still say we head east. Get out of the state faster, you know?

And do what? Unload the cars on the Las Vegas Strip?

I'm going to Mexico.

And we've got insurance.

Here, cuff him.

Well, personally, I've never been that crazy about Tijuana.

Yeah, this tour bus isn't exactly comfy.

How much fall?

Yeah, well, Captain Baker, you know, if my partner were here, we'd know

everything would be okay.

Oh, sorry.

Hot dog guys like punch roulette seem to lead a charmed life This idle

conversation or you mean that both what you both shut up I relax

Enjoy 77

400 I'm picking up a transmission sounds like some of our guys are goofing around

But I didn't want to take that chance.

I heard the name of McFall and Captain Baker It's right here. We should notify

all units. All right.

He just came in.

Three different motor officers picked up a rolling transmission from the captain.

Look at that mapping.

Okay, they've been spotted here, here, and here.

They're headed south on the 405, probably on their way to Mexico.

Good call on that tour bus.

Any chance of hoarding my ticket?

No way. All right, people, listen up. We got two officers on this bus.

And this is already a dangerous situation without us making it worse.

Okay? All right, get on the tail. Let's go.

I'll hit the San Diego in five minutes.

Ten-four.

You know, that should be me on that bus. John is my partner.

I was thinking the same thing.

My partner's there, too.

Like we both said, guys like you and me fit with guys like them.

You know what? You're right.

It balances out.

It's cops.

How'd they find us?

Not many tour buses carry the weight of two stolen cars, not to mention a

million-dollar concept car for suspects.

I mean, your mud flaps are dragging.

Give me the phone.

Uh, the police. The California Highway Patrol Office, please.

Oh, it is.

Oh, well, good, because I have an emergency.

Or, actually, you have an emergency.

You see, I have two of your officers here.

They're both very handsome.

I don't know how good they're gonna look dead, though.

Stay away from us, or you'll find out.

Oh, that's great. Now we'll have a whole army after us.

Look, right here, over this entire area. Here's the exact message she delivered

to dispatch.

Do we know what the situation is on the bus?

We got this from an officer in Costa Mesa, off the extender, John's voice.

Two stolen cars, the concept car, and four suspects.

Have dispatch advise the responding units.

Way to go, John.

Wish there was something we could do, Ponch.

Can't storm them with officers aboard.

But we can slow them down.

Poet units, prepare for a felony slowdown.

So how long were you and Ponch partners?

Seven years, till he up and left.

Must have been great to have been out there riding with him again, huh?

Yeah.

It actually was.

Tim!

Come here, it's the cops!

They're all around us.

Step on it.

They're right in front of us! Yeah, exactly.

Stop the bus!

where you kill somebody or some innocent bystander and end this thing. This thing

ends in Mexico.

And not one degree north of that latitude, big shot.

Frank, do we know if they're okay?

We heard John a second ago.

I think they're all right.

Don't worry, Sandy.

I'm glad you're here, Pudge.

John would want you watching us back.

I won't let him down.

I won't let anything happen to him.

Sir, they have some demands.

Who am I talking to?

Just shut up and listen.

Anyone even comes near the bus, we start playing good cop, dead cop.

Nobody is coming near the bus.

Just tell us what you want. The chopper I heard. I want it fueled and ready to

go. The chopper's a bad idea, Monica.

You're gonna be a sitting duck.

I'd better see a fuel truck out there with that chopper.

You've got five minutes.

This is working out great.

We're still going to Mexico.

You don't even know how to fly a chopper.

Yeah, well, judging by the situation we're in, you don't know how to drive a

bus.

Ricardo, all that thinking is liable to give you a headache. Why don't you just

leave that to me?

Just give me about 20 gallons. 20 gallons, okay. Show us how much longer

on the chopper. Oh, man, I mean, if you're jumping rope in the house, the

cake won't rise.

Translation.

Um, the engine's hot. You have to do it slowly or it's gonna get all messed up.

You hear that?

Yeah. Here's the plan.

Got it.

All right, two of them are coming out to the helicopter with one of our officers.

They want to board the chopper, confirm that it's ready to go. Any screw-ups,

the officer inside gets shot.

Partners are history if they get on that chopper.

Can't let that happen.

I was thinking the same thing.

They punch? Yeah.

That ticket still stands.

I figured.

You get into the chopper.

When everything is safe, you call me.

Now, what part of that are you planning on screwing up?

We got it. We got it.

Good. Hey, come on, big shot.

Come on.

Go.

Back

it

up.

Back it up. Everybody relax.

Back.

Back it up. Back up. Everybody stay calm, all right?

Back it up, boys.

Back it up, man. Back it up.

Let's go. Move it. Move it. Shut up. Back it up, I said.

Don't be a hero, pal.

Back it up.

Back it up. Just relax.

Just relax, buddy, all right?

Back it up. Back it up. Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it, all

right? Just do it.

Everybody relax.

Okay, Ricky, shut up, big shot.

Monica yeah, yeah, it's everything's all right the chopped is ready to go

Shut him up!

Shut him up!

You guys wanna play with me, huh?

You boys wanna play?

Alright,

let's play.

Pickles on the board!

You're pitching her.

to cancel my insurance plans.

Me a hot dog.

She didn't have the exact change.

Hey, Ponch, there's just one report you forgot to fill out.

Pen, Barixa.

All right.

There you go. Thanks, pal. Hey, adios, amigo.

Goodbye, girl. See you, Ponch.

Take care of yourself.

So what are you up to?

Well, there are no slots for me here.

I'm going to be heading back north.

You're going to be riding on that bridge, not painting it, right?

Yeah. Anyway, I hope it's not going to be another 15 years.

You keep forgetting I'm the captain. Remember all paperwork runs by me?

Remember that permanent transfer you requested down here?

Granted.

Already signed off by Gutierre.

Well, you see, I had no choice.

The governor wanted to know who'd wrapped up that carjacking case so

nicely. Man, I couldn't very well tell him that I'd put a... Rusty old

captain's life on the line out there in the field.

See you around.

Oh, and Frank.

Yeah?

Behave yourself.

Yes, sir.

Take it easy.

Wow.

Bunch.

Hey, got a little present for you.

Does this have to do with that ticket?

How'd you guess?

I put myself in your shoes. I finally figured out what was bugging you.

Just go to traffic school for that ticket.

Now... No one will recognize you.

Frank Jr.

Yeah, son.

We're going to be working undercover today.

Oh, boy.

It's a great idea with the glasses. I like them. Let's hop on an escort to the

freeway. You see? Your partner here, he knows how to be nice. Now, you could use

a few lessons from him.

But no thanks on the escort.

All right.

See you guys in about a month.

Daddy, that sign said, right turn only.

That's it.

Uh, we're left.

You don't have to do this, man. See, um, we're friends now. He likes you, you

like him.

See, it's all good. You don't... What are you doing?

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Look what I'm saying. You don't... Be nice.

Oh.