Original subtitles

You watch the road.

He's racing out of his class. You belong in midgets.

There's a history of Dane's behavioral problems.

In the past year, he's tried to sail to Catalina on a raft.

The Coast Guard found him after a two-day search.

Mom, just beach traffic, Mom. On hot days like this, the highway's always

jammed. I wonder if the judge had any idea of the traffic situation when he

approved this custody plan.

Mom.

It's a valid point, honey.

It's dangerous driving you back and forth through this traffic.

The beach isn't a safe place for you.

Riptides, bodybuilders.

It's CHP charity time again. Keep in mind what we're looking for here. It's

got to be timely, something that everyone would enjoy and would pay to

see. How about a bike-a-thon?

Now that's a good idea. Don't you remember last year?

Celebrities, stars, ulcers?

Stars!

With some celebrity officials and star contestants we can't miss!

It's the CHP Charity 5K Star Race!

Rocks on the Coast Highway? That's an everyday occurrence, Grossy. Who's the

complainant? Well, all we got is an address.

You want to check it out?

Yeah, why not?

Rocks from up there.

Gone now. And you know where they went?

Right past here.

We'll check it out, sir.

Do that, will you?

Thank you very much.

Oh, uh, Mr. Burrell? Yeah?

There's this charity event I'm working on. And you want me to appear on it?

Would you?

You got me, kid.

I'm yours.

LA-15-7, Marion 3. All units in the Malibu area.

We've got a landslide at the Pacific Coast Highway in Sunset. Request

paramedics. LA-15, Marion 3.

Advising on a landslide at the Pacific Coast Highway in Sunset. Get away from

the landslide. Get back.

Head down the highway.

Let's go.

Come on, folks. Down the highway. Hurry up. Get back. Get back off the highway.

Get back. Come on.

Get off the highway.

Take her. Take her down the highway.

Here we go.

You know who this house belongs to? Who? A television producer. One of the

biggest in Hollywood.

I've seen his name on the credits.

He's good.

Not great, but good.

Kelly, look at this.

This note's to his housekeeper. The guy's in Europe shooting a picture.

If we play it right, we could stay here until the road's clear.

We're closing the highway to vehicles along the slide.

Malibu CHP is covering the north end.

We'll cover this end.

We'll work out a schedule to have a crowd control and security.

Some of the residents will be leaving the area until the slide is cleared up.

How long will it take?

Clearance? A few days.

Not sure about that boulder.

Now, we'll put you in soft uniforms, walking shoes, and light duty gear.

Like beach control?

Yeah, and 10 speeds, too.

10 speeds, as in bicycles?

The roads will be jammed with clearance crews and equipment.

It's either that or a foot beat.

You can hack that, can't you?

I can hack it.

Highway of the Stars.

My Celebrity Connection. Sold all those tickets and got posters all over town.

Look, people are either gonna walk into the beach or bike in.

How are the legs holding up?

Yeah.

We have some security problems.

One of the evacuated homes was hit last night.

They took sterling silver, and a lot of it. And we're allowing pedestrian

traffic through the closed area.

Some of the residents are forming carpools, parking at one end, walking

through to the other.

You get a report on that sidecar team?

Mm-mm. They just seem to have disappeared.

How about the boulder?

They tried to loosen it with pressurized water this morning. Now they're going to

use a helicopter and a cable.

The engineer will tell you when it's all clear.

I'm going to be at the other end coordinating with Malibu CHP.

Oh, uh, Frank, does this affect the charity race at all?

Good.

Hey, looking good, Sarge.

Sterling silver and a lot of it.

Well, why not join us?

Listen to me. This isn't a halfway house for beast bunnies. The idea is to lay

low. That would look suspicious.

Tub parties are de rigueur.

Oh, uh, the burglar alarm people were here while you were asleep.

I told them we were producers leasing the house.

They believed me.

Sure, the problem is that you're starting to believe it.

You're shouting.

I'm not shouting. You just picked a bad time for an identity crisis.

Your space is really cluttered.

Slip on a suit and join us in the tub.

My bureau, top drawer.

John,

things are looking up. I think that's one of the Ronstadt.

I'm working on this.

Wasn't that Robert Redford?

Okay, that helicopter's about ready to go.

Better hold the traffic.

All right. You really think that helicopter can move that boulder?

Gee, I'll just have a say.

Time will tell.

Okay, ladies and gentlemen, I'm sorry there's going to be a short delay before

we let any traffic go through here. Just a safety precaution, so hang in there,

all right?

What's wrong?

Well, a safety precaution while the crew works on that boulder.

I'm picking up my daughter. She's coming the other direction. Oh, it's safe.

They won't start working until the highway's clear.

Wonderful. Just such a great thing.

Listen, this is bad timing, but I'm a big fan of yours.

Yeah, the feeling's mutual.

I'm sorry.

You guys have a tough job.

If there's anything I can do to help... Well, actually, there's this charity

that...

All right.

If I'm free, you can count me in.

You ride a bike?

No. Football me.

Here's the chopper now.

Okay, guys, come on in.

Dave, we're over you now. We're going to come on in.

Okay, great, Art. I see you coming in.

Yeah, it looks like you're right on line.

How do we look?

You're right on line.

All right, swing around. Yeah, you're lined up with it beautifully.

How are we lined up, Dave?

What's wrong with your radio up there?

Something's wrong with our radio up here, Dave. Speak up.

Okay, get that net down there.

We're going to get the net down.

You know, you're my favorite singer. Am I? Well, you're adorable.

Um, I'm doing a charity. I went to CHP. We're doing a charity event.

Yes, I know.

Why don't you check with my manager? If I'm not booked, I'll do it. Oh, that

would be great. Can I have the number, please?

You ride a bike?

Well, I tried it once when I was ten.

I still have the scarf, but it only shows on...

Special occasions.

Thank you. You're welcome.

See you guys later.

You live around here?

Here. And Beverly Hills.

Dependent. Brutal conflict.

Major cause of juvenile delinquency.

Big cause of parental delinquency.

I'm Dave. Cheryl.

Thanks. You bet.

Go ahead.

Keep them moving.

Daddy!

Oh, sure. I remember you.

My lawyer's working on an appeal, Steve.

This won't be going on for very long. Yeah.

My lawyer told me.

Just have Cheryl at the other end tomorrow, huh? And don't be late. Late?

Me late?

You've gone through life an hour late.

Make that an hour and a half.

See you tomorrow.

Good talking to you. Take care. All right. See you later.

Who's your friend?

Name's Cheryl.

She's got, you know, kind of a problem.

the seat a little high it's adjustable you're doing the snacks for the race a

depressing tray of white bread sandwiches and uh a dip with box

crackers why don't you go for a grossy and big on serving indoors indoors no

beach no that's final

Take your bath.

Now listen, take us to the Malibu Sports Arena.

Wherever. Hey, anything on that burglary?

Not a thing, Bear. Then what makes you think you can get the Malibu Sports

Club? You gotta believe.

Turn that thing down.

You ain't going out?

Why do you think I'm dressed like this?

That's very good.

I go out every night trying to build a future for us.

Excuse me.

What are you doing?

I think I can doctor this pilot.

It didn't sell because of the theme.

Unsympathetic to Native Americans.

Unsympathetic to Native American... American

Indians?

Didn't sell the theme, didn't sell... Theme?

Theme? Theme? Theme? What?

What about television?

You believe in your own act.

You're not a producer. You're an ex-psycho racer like me, looking for a

break.

Here's what we're going to do.

I got the sidecar loaded with silver.

We're going to melt it down and sell it. No numbers like the gold, smart?

The road's almost clear.

I hit another house tonight, and then we get out. OK, Kelly?

Ansgar, the white socks, they're wrong with the outfit.

I'm sorry.

Ah, that's great.

And plan on staying for the wrap party.

OK, bye.

Hi, Leaf.

Frank Poncherello.

Listen, I got you down as captain of the A team.

How does that grab you?

Terrific. Don't forget about the wrap party, OK? Bye.

It's beautiful.

You got a body count?

We're a sellout.

Hey, great.

You can figure on a couple of hundred people.

Flag football, the water dump, pushball.

Gonna be a busy afternoon, partner.

Oh, listen, I need some girls who can punt, pass, and block. Any ideas?

How many girls?

I need six to fill out the flag football teams.

Well, what about the bike racers? Choose them.

What bike racers?

I quote, the great 5K star race and the boulder rap party.

Well, the stars are gonna go with the events I worked out.

In other words, you didn't have any takers on the bike race.

Uh, you got it.

Not even when it was outdoors.

Well, it's advertising if I've ever seen it.

Not to fear, partner.

I know it sounds more like the Pro-Am Star Olympics or the Network Star Games,

but they are contests and stars.

And believe me, everybody there is going to run more than 5Ks.

I see.

Hey, we're talking entertainment, John.

It'll play. Trust me.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the annual CHP Charity Celebrity Party.

There's lots of food, lots of drinks, and a lot of great fun here, so enjoy

yourself and have a good time.

Come on, folks, have some lunch and meet the stars.

George Pappard having a great time.

Earl Holliman, Joyce Beaulieu, Eleanor Donoghue, Rose Marie and Jackie Joseph,

Marsha Wallace, Lee Merriweather, all having a great time. Even Boomer's here.

Joanne Ploog, Chuck Woolery, Lee Merriweather, David Groh.

There's Gil Gerard talking to George Pappard and Bonnie Clark.

Even the Bears sampling some of Artie's food. I don't believe it. Brett Summers

is here for some fun. First on the agenda today will be the celebrity

football game, which is about to begin.

All right, here come the players on the field, led by Captain Milton Burrow.

And introducing football great Merlin Olsen.

Hello, Merlin. I want you to stand open.

And cheerleader Susan Richardson.

Sorry, Milton.

Merlin's got the right idea.

Locked in mortal battle on the other side of the arena in the waiter's race

is Conrad Bain fighting off Daniel J. Trevanti.

Some of the other celebrities on these teams are Mike Warren, Betsy Palmer,

Todd Bridges, Gary Berghoff, Dodie Goodman, Rose Marie, Dick Van Patten,

and Dean Butler.

Cheering them on are Linda McCullough, Sheila DeWitt, Barbara Horan, Candy and

Randy Bro, and Judy Landers of Beautiful Lady Truckers.

Whoa, whoa.

Betsy Palmer looking great out there. Good handoff by Mike Warren to Todd

Bridges.

All right, let's give them a hand.

This time, we dropped the ball.

Now, Mike, when you grab the ball, I'll give you the guy around here. When you

grab the ball, you come right down here. You stay on the left hand, okay?

Then you swerve around.

Hey,

come on.

You know, these actors are from Actors and Others for Animals.

We'd sure like to thank them. We're really a success because of them. Oh,

Gary Berghoff's looking great out there. You know, most of these actors are

perfect for this event because they spent the earlier part of their careers

waiting on table.

Rosemary looking great.

Whoa, she almost lost it.

Meanwhile, back at the football game.

Look at that.

Whoa, what a...

Just the flags, Milton.

Well,

it's down to the anchorman, Dick Van Patten against Dean Butler.

And it's a close, close race.

Really close.

But it looks like Dean is moving ahead.

Boy, Dean is on a roll.

He is flying.

All right, and the winning team is Dean's team.

Sivrace, now in progress.

There'll be a lot of wet folks in this race.

Ryan Patrick Clark handing to Shawn Stevens.

What? He's really getting wet.

Everybody's getting wet.

Brian Kirwan, Jed Turner, Bonnie Clark.

There's Bonnie. Good handoff, Bonnie.

You know, the object of this game is just simply to fill the buckets at the

end full of water, but they have to use Sivs to fill them, so everybody's

getting wet in this event.

Don't forget, there's plenty of free food, folks, so help yourself anytime

you want. It's buffet style.

All right, looks like Barney's team is winning here.

Yep, yep.

Oh, Jed, come on, how'd they rope you into this, Jed?

And the winning team is Barney Clark.

All right, let's hear it for Barney's team.

All right.

Hey, Jed, you sore loser, come here.

Oh, probably not.

See, it's really more like a pop.

We set the charges in the natural fissures, and it breaks up and rolls

down in pieces.

Of course, there's always the outside chance that there might be a few flying

rocks.

Come on. I want to get going with that bolt that's on your mind. The sidecar's

too small. Where are you going to put all this stuff? I'll find a way.

It's not designed to carry this much weight.

Yeah.

Hey James, just hang on, I'll be in in a minute.

I guess you're mad.

You know, of all the stunts you've pulled, that's about the most pointless,

the most childish, the most destructive.

I mean, any moron can take a can of paint and paint on a wall or a rock

and... Look, Dane,

I mean, it's a way of getting attention when you can't get it through

achievement.

I used to feel good when I did something.

Like the bike race.

But now I feel... Dumb.

I'll be with you later.

Sure, you've got everything just relax and try to look casual. Let's go

I don't wanna be here

Thank you.

Yes.

Okay, come on, move it.

I can explain everything.

No handcuffs?

Okay.

I'll fake it.

Pushball game is starting. Susan Richardson, you're the cheerleader for

this one.

Lee Merriweather, Peter Marshall, you going to be in this?

All right!

Carolyn Wolfe is ready to play. Ruth Bussey, is your team ready for the face

-off? Nancy Cobb's team is ready.

And there's the face-off.

Dallas Berkeley diving for it.

Walter Dease-Davis getting up on Gil Gerard's shoulders. Madeline Rue giving

her a hand there.

The push-ball game is really getting crazy, folks. Neither team seems to be

making any headway at all.

You look tired.

Yeah, so do you.

I'm glad you canceled that bike race. Thinking all the time, man.

Oh, I pulled Dane off that boulder today. He was painting his girl's name.

That's a turnaround right there. He's discovered girls.

Yeah, you know, I really wanted to help you.

Well, you did. Just being there is important, you know.

Kids work out a lot of their own problems.

Good play. Good play.

Jimmy Van Patten, Mike Warren, Todd Bridges up in the air.

Richard Kline trying to get it.

Remember, folks, this is push ball, not fly ball. Keep the ball down on the

court, players.

Johnny Ray getting him on the action.

Altafis Davis still on Gil Gerard's shoulders. Wesley Yurtraud, Bridges, and

Kenny Martin doing a great job.

And Jimmy Matt Patton pops it.

John Erickson with a victory salute.

Todd Bridges and Kenny Martin are happy as Quinn Cummings and Edie Marshall.

Great game, folks. Robert Mandan and Earl Holliman are happy. Remember,

folks, the Orange Game is about to start. With the Bear heading off to

Bonnie Clark and Marsha Wallet.

Bonnie passing to John Erickson.

Was having a little trouble there, who in turn passes to Lynn Borden.

Charlene Holt to Dean Butler to Donna Mills.

John Erickson to Lynn Borden to Brian Kerwin.

Robert Walden, their beautiful handoff to Cindy Williams, who heads off to Mike

Warren.

Brian Kerwin passing off to Lori Walters.

Lauren, a beautiful handoff to Rosemarie.

Rosemarie handing off to Dan Trevanti.

Beautiful. And Lori Walters handing to Tom Halle.

Looks like Dan's having a little trouble there. Come on, Dan.

Hey, that's cheating.

Passing to Donnie Goodman.

Richard Paul passing to Eleanor W.

Barbara Horan with a beautiful pass off to Shawn Stevens.

Hey, Gil, what are you doing?

And Shawn, a beautiful pass to Judy Landers.

To Johnny Ray.

Johnny paid $200 for this game, I'm sure.

Come on, Johnny.

Looks like they're an item.

I know they're an item.

Come on, Johnny, play the game.

And Johnny passes to Ruth Buzzy.

Come on, Ruth.

Okay, who in turn passes to Earl Holloman?

It's time to dunk your favorite CHP officer.

Check that out here, folks, in that town there.

First officer up is Artie Grossman.

And here to do the honors is Cindy Williams.

Come on, Cindy.

Give it to him. He deserves it.

That's what you get for the food.

Next on the firing line is Bonnie Clark.

Officer Bonnie Clark, ready to be dumped.

Robert Walden taking a shot at her.

Richard Klein's going to try it.

Great,

great shot, Richard.

You're happy now, Richard. Just hope she never stops you on the freeway.

they shall blow the book at you all right next to get dunked officer

barry barixa cd landers

poising throwing oh come on next ball

okay judy look out i i see uh john gray coming to the crowd

next up donna mills

Come on, dunk him.

Oh, nice try, Duncan. Come on, we've got to sink this guy. Come on, who's going

to... Lee Merriweather, come on. Come on. All right, okay, Todd Bridges is

going to do it. Hey, Todd, you're hitting it, but you're not... Come on, a

little more power, Todd.

Come on.

Hey, wait.

I'm tolerating it myself.

Officer Jed Turner?

There will be next to be done.

Michael Warren is doing the dirty work.

Come on, Mike. Give it to him.

Ah, he's going to let him hang for a while, huh?

Good going, Mike. Good going.

Well, I know Jed's in there, Mike. I saw him. Oh, Jed.

Jed.

Oh, Jed.

Look out, Mike. Hey, Vic, pay back and join the party.

I'd like to remind you, we have tons and tons of wonderful food.

She's growing up.

We won't have her much longer.

There ought to be some way to enjoy the time we have left.

There is.

Your place or mine?

Why don't everyone step forward and watch the giant TV screen and get your

final look at the famous Malibu boulder.

at the site of that giant rock that boulder has been a source of frustration

challenge and even a bit of embarrassment to the experts their first

attempt to lift it away by helicopter failed but now the experts say they have

feel sure that explosives are the end okay folks can have quiet please

a president on it?

No.

What we'll do is we'll build a retaining wall.

And we'll just chip away at it piece by piece.

Could take months.

Months?

Why me?

Why me?