Original subtitles

[♪ opening theme song playing]

[bus conductor over pa] Kimigahata.

[Hirai shouting] Murai! You forgot your bag!

[Mao] I'll let the bass thing slide if you show me your fave.

-[Tanaka] No way. -Why not?

Because.

Hey, do you think I'd make fun of something you love?

I don't, but...

You're such a cutie.

Jeez, stop it already!

-[Mao] Acchan, look! A shooting star! -I'm not a little kid anymore!

[Mao] Hmm?

That's not a star.

It's some guy.

Who the hell are you?

Who the hell are you?

[narrator] He repeats.

I heard her say "stop," so I must insist that you stop.

Interesting.

[roars]

Hey!

I don't know what kinda meteor you are,

but if you wanna act like my kid sister's boyfriend, you gotta beat me first.

-[gasps] -Huh?

Big Brother?!

Who you callin' "Big Brother"?!

[narrator] Brother-in-law.

[Mao] Knock it off with the "brother-in-law" title!

I'm sorry for my brother's rudeness, Murai.

[Tanaka] Mao, he's just one of my students. Drop the old punk act.

Your student! Is that so? Sorry, sorry. My bad.

I had no idea and pulled a seoi nage on you.

Big Brother, give me your blessing to marry your sister!

The hell?

The hell didja just say?!

Give me your blessing to marry your sister.

You've got some balls, man.

Say that again! I'mma burst into flames.

Give me your blessing to marry your sister!

[Mao screams ludicrously]

Murai, let's get out of here!

[Murai grunts softly]

[Tanaka] I'm sorry. He does have his reasons,

but my brother gets really fired up when it comes to me.

It's okay. I'm not able to burst into flames,

but I understand how much he cares about you.

Sorry for dragging you along.

Not at all. Please, touch me more.

[Tanaka] Don't say that with a straight face.

[Murai] Sensei, can I try giving it my all to beat your brother?

[Tanaka] You wanna die?

GOLD

[Mao] Acchan, what's that?

A gold medal. It's what the coolest guys get.

[narrator] Tanaka at age five.

[doctor] Please keep a close eye on him

when the seasons change and after exercising.

If he has another seizure, he may have to be hospitalized.

[Tanaka] I'm making something nice for you, Mao.

What is it?

[Tanaka] Something the coolest guys get.

Acchan, I'm not strong or anything.

I'm always getting knocked down by my illness.

A strong person is someone like Tuna Red from Sushi Rangers.

You're way cooler than Sushi Red.

[Tanaka] Whenever you get attacked by your illness, you always fight it and win.

You're my big brother, the coolest one in the world!

[Mao] Yeah.

GOLD

[alarm beeping]

-[Mao] Shut up! -[Tanaka] Shut up!

Good morning, Acchan.

Why are you half naked?

[Mao] Look who's talking.

I usually sleep fully naked, but I restrained myself for you.

[Mao] Same here.

Can I ask you something?

[Mao] Your fave looks like that guy from yesterday, no?

[Tanaka] They don't just look alike.

They're identical.

If I didn't possess a tough rational mind, that face would've ruined me by now.

What about his personality? Do you like him?

I honestly don't know.

I haven't been in love with anyone since TenTen.

But when I look at Murai, my heart gets beaten to a pulp.

Does it hurt?

Like a bitch!

[Tanaka] Every time I get beaten up,

this iron-willed brain of mine gets stronger and stronger.

That's what hurts.

-That's my little sister! -Right?

[Mao] Do you think he's cool?

[Tanaka] Well... Yeah.

TAKEBE GAKUEN HIGH SCHOOL 55TH SCHOOL FESTIVAL PROPOSAL

[Tanaka] School festivals suck!

Why would the studious nerds in my class want to be part of the festival committee?

Have the party animals in Course B do it!

[Murai] Please go ahead and eat your lunch. I'll just talk freely.

[Tanaka] Kill me now.

Your brother said I'd have to beat him if I want to act like your boyfriend.

I'd rather be your boyfriend officially than just act like I am, to be honest.

But either way, I must defeat your brother to do so.

He seems strong, so it'll be a long battle.

I will need motivation.

As such, if I manage to defeat him, may I eat your cheeks?

Excuse me?

[Murai] The sight of your brother pinching your cheek filled me with envy.

Now my urge to eat it has grown beyond my desire to touch it!

[Tanaka] This guy's an idiot.

Listen, Murai. My answer is no for various reasons.

Please do not fight my brother.

He was once known as Fire Tanaka, a rare punk who gets literally fired up.

I'm putting a stop to this now!

Sensei, I would become a firefighter if it meant I could eat your cheeks.

[Tanaka] Did you actually just say that? By the way, Murai.

Would you like to join the school festival committee?

-Each class needs to offer a sacrifice. -What?

[narrator] What a pain.

[Tanaka] If you accept, I can permit you to do that cheek thing.

However, I will make Mao leave before you fight him.

-I'll do it. -[Tanaka] Hook, line, and sinker!

[Kiriyama] What's up?

Hi...

Hey, special eight-hour course students.

Sorry, I got the last limited edition sushi frappé.

Fukunaga.

-Kiri. Did you get a haircut? -Yep!

Hirai told me to join him. He didn't want to wait alone.

Why you bein' a snitch?!

-That uniform is Midori Girls High, right? -Yes.

-Can I get your number later too? -Sure.

You only came because I told you Murai would come.

-I wanna eat cheesecake. -[Hirai] Certainly.

-Kiri, what do you want? -[Kiriyama] Whatever you're having.

[cafe staff] Please wait under the yellow lamp.

-Hirai. -Yeah?

-Have you ever eaten someone's cheeks? -Nope.

Gotcha.

Aww, what's the matter?

-Widdle Murai wants to eat cheeks now? -Yeah.

Come on. Are you nuts? You gotta kiss the cheeks, not eat them.

My lips touching her cheek is not enough.

If I can, I'd like to bite it, hold it in my mouth, and chew it all up.

[Hirai] I don't know what any of that meant,

but it sounded really dirty!

Well, in that case,

can I eat Fukunaga's cheeks?

Why? Do you like her?

As if! I just think her cheeks would be yummy.

Don't do anything weird to Yayo-chan.

[Hirai] Look who's talking.

[Murai] She had a traumatic experience with a man in the past,

so I worry about her a little.

Then you should stay by her side and protect her.

So that guys like me don't swarm around her.

[cafe staff] Here are your sushi frappés!

-They're not sold out? -Hirai...

Hirai, what was...

[Hirai] It's nothing. Forget about it. Forever.

-Wow, I love it! -I know, right?

Both colors are so good, it's hard to choose.

Which one do you think is better?

Well, for you, I'd say the right one.

You think? You're good at this stuff, Kiri.

[narrator] Girl talk.

The left one is better.

Because?

Go with beige.

It will make you look more grown up with your casual black bob cut.

Also, if you wear it with wide pants, don't tuck it in but go for a loose look.

Use a light pinkish-brown eye shadow and orange lipstick.

Put a few drops of hair oil on your hands and comb your bangs once with your hands.

That'll give you a cool masculine look.

Wait, what are you? How do you know so much?

What's wrong with that?

I've always liked women's clothes and cosmetics.

If you think that's weird, screw you.

Wow. Why didn't you tell me you had such a cool talent?

I'll get the left one.

[Kiriyama exclaiming]

-Hiyah! -[Kiriyama] Ouch!

[Murai] Kiri, here you go. Same thing I got.

[Kiriyama] They weren't sold out?

[Hirai] Murai? What're you doing there?

Squats. I'm working on my core.

[Hirai] Why are you working on your core?

The battle is imminent.

I want to settle it before the school festival.

Wait, Chi-chan. You won't get anywhere with that form.

Instead of building your body, you'll distort your body's axis.

For a beginner's squat, spread your feet a shoulder-width apart,

toes pointed out and back straight.

Keep your knees behind your toes.

Be careful not to hunch over.

Thighs parallel to the ground. Two sets of 30.

[Yayoi] Like this.

-Like this? -[Hirai] What're you doing?

-No. Your back is rounded. -Just look at me for a sec.

Straighten it more.

Like this?

Yes! Hold that pose for three seconds.

-It's hard, isn't it? -[Murai] Yeah.

If it's hard, it means your body is being worked.

The most important thing is to keep it up day by day.

Yes, Master.

[narrator] Another day.

What's going on with Murai from your class these days?

I was wondering about that too.

What makes you say that?

He's always dozing off during class.

Right. But he's not in any clubs, is he?

He's not dozing off during my class.

That's probably because he likes you.

Someone's popular.

Give me a break!

[Tanaka] Their assumption isn't funny at all.

[female teacher] Even if he does well on his exams,

it'll still affect his grades.

-Can you talk to him about it? -Sure thing!

[Tanaka] Murai is dozing off during class?

Could such a universe-defying phenomenon even be possible?

It is. He's actually sleeping.

-[male teacher] Murai! -[groans softly]

You've been slacking off recently! Come on, answer this question!

[Tanaka] Right on cue!

An impossible ask for someone who's been asleep this whole time!

Tangent, parenthesis, pi minus angle ONG, parenthesis,

equals negative square root of three over three...

It pains me to admit that you are correct.

I'm going back to sleep, then.

Have a good nap, Murai!

[Tanaka] Not good. Something must be up. Is he addicted to a social network game?

[narrator] After school.

Since students in the college prep course prioritize their studies,

there's no need to discuss it in class.

The class rep and teacher can just come up with a proposal.

So I guess we should do the... Murai?

[Tanaka] Murai?

-He has a pulse. -[heart beating]

What?

[Tanaka] Is he dead? But he has a pulse.

Should I call an ambulance? Or the police? Calm down!

If I get arrested, it'd be trouble for Mao.

Let's go over the main points before drawing conclusions.

Number one, Murai has passed out.

Number two, he's leaning on my shoulder.

Number three, he smells kinda good.

Number four, I want to ruffle his hair.

Conclusion. I should absolutely call the police.

I'm sorry, Mao Tanaka.

Your sister is making her debut as a criminal.

[gasps] Sorry, I was spacing out. What was that again?

We were talking about an idea for the school festival!

[operator] What's your emergency?

-[Murai] I'm sorry. -Huh?

I don't feel well.

-[operator] What? Hello? Are you okay? -I'll think about it at home.

-[Tanaka] Sure. Are you all right? -[Murai] Yes, I'm okay.

-[operator] Are you all right? -[Murai] Excuse me.

You are definitely not okay.

[operator] Do you need an ambulance instead?

[Hirai] What are you drawing?

A sign for the school festival.

[Hirai] What are you doing?

- [Kiriyama] Damn Cheat Momotaro. -[Hirai] We're doing a takoyaki stand.

-[Kiriyama] Boring. -[Tanaka] 'Scuse me.

[Hirai and Kiriyama scream]

Can I ask you guys something? Did something happen to Murai?

-Hey, did you hear that? -Yeah.

-You heard it, right? -I said I heard.

[Hirai] Let me guess.

You've been lonely because Murai hasn't been paying attention to you?

[groaning] What?! Don't be an idiot! I'm just worried about him as his teacher.

Well, we have no sympathy for you as a teacher. Please go ask someone else.

[Tanaka] Other teachers are concerned too. He's your friend...

What the hell do I know? We haven't seen him after school lately.

Maybe he has a girlfriend or something.

That's not true! It can't be!

-[Tanaka grunts] -[Hirai] You said it loud and clear.

[Kiriyama] Sorry for tricking you.

[Tanaka] You little punks!

I like the real you better.

I'll tell you what's up.

[Hirai] Murai has been working out at Gori-ZAP.

-To win against your brother. -[Murai grunting]

The only thing Murai works hard for is you, Tetsuko.

[Tanaka] Strengthening his body?

For me?

[Hirai] I love it! Just like a shojo manga! Nice, Kiriyama!

Murai in Love!

BIG CATCH

[Lord Kidney] What are you doing there?

[Apprentice] Lord Kidney...

I will not allow you to interfere further.

You forget your place, Kidney.

[Lord Kidney] Silence!

I have decided that I will no longer yield to Hitotose.

I will support Sir Murai.

That is foolishness! Do you have any idea what you are saying?

Needless to say, I am fond of the young man.

Murai is not only the foe of Sir Hitotose, but also the foe of my master!

-[Lord Kidney] You fool! -[Apprentice groans]

[Lord Kidney] Your master, Seishiro Tomioka,

was never defeated by Murai.

He merely accepted Murai.

And it was all according to the wishes of Lady Tanaka.

I'll be right back.

-[Kiriyama] Sheesh! -[Hirai] Tetsuko! You forgot your bag!

GORI-ZAP24 LAZY TRAINING

-One more interval, right? -Yeah.

-I'm gonna go to the convenience store. -Sure.

[panting]

-[Murai] Sensei! -[speaking inaudibly]

[Murai] Wait, I can't hear you.

Sensei, what are you doing here? I mean, what did you just say?

[Tanaka] I said, "Are you an idiot?"

I heard you've been slacking off in class.

I tracked down the cause and it's this?

Who would bulk up their muscles because they want to eat cheeks?

-You, that's who! But why?! -[Murai] Sensei.

-You won't beat my brother no matter how-- -Sensei!

Sensei! What are you doing?!

It's an air hug!

[Tanaka] You just happen to be in the space where I'm hugging.

No, I'm sorry. This is the best I can do.

Okay.

-What are you doing? -[Murai] Yayo-chan.

-Chi-chan, are you working out for her? -[Murai] Yeah.

[Tanaka] That pretty girl from the other day!

This is... Well...

-An air hug. -Right, an air hug.

If you love him, why don't you hug him properly?

Excuse me.

Are you the type of woman who shares her opinion without being asked?

If you're not in love with him, switch places with me.

So that means you're in love with Murai?

-Yes, I love him. -[Murai] What?

I love you! Since almost 10 years ago...

I've been in love with you the whole time!

Why are you so blasé?

That's none of your business. I'm an adult and a teacher.

Love lives in cottages as well as in courts.

You can call it an "air hug," but you tried to embrace him, didn't you?

Your body moved before your mind, as if by reflex.

What could this be called if not love?

[Yayoi] Do you think the speed of nerve impulse transmission

could be impacted by one's social standing?

Not a chance!

What are you? What are you saying?

Is this some new interrogation tactic?

[Yayoi] Just admit that you love him.

If you don't, I can't give up on him. I'm going nuts with jealousy.

Yayo-chan, stop it.

Sorry I didn't realize how you felt.

I've always thought of you as my childhood friend.

[Yayoi] Forget about me.

But let me say this for your sake, Chi-chan.

Your behavior is disrespectful to those who are seriously in love.

You reject him, then turn around and lead him on.

You never make things black and white. Are you a café au lait?

-[Tanaka] What? -I like café au lait.

-[Yayoi] Shut up and sit down. -Yes.

In love, café au lait is an evil practice. Now, evaporate and become vapor.

Are you telling me to die, little girl?

Fine. I'll separate the elements, in my own way.

Milk or coffee, right?

[Murai] Sensei!

Timeout, please. You're too focused on making things black and white.

[Hirai] Just this once, will you stay by her side?

Sorry. I like you, but not in a romantic sense.

I know.

Maybe I'm being selfish,

but I want our relationship to remain the same.

-No way. -I see.

Keeping things the same isn't very ambitious, huh?

You've always been my Prince Charming, Chi-chan.

I worked hard to be with you.

I had absolute confidence,

because of how hard it was for me to do what I did.

[Yayoi] But when we reunited, there was already

no chance for me to step in.

I wasn't going to give up on you, but I'm done.

Ironically, I understand

how hard you're working for the person you love now.

I'll get out of the way so your efforts will pay off.

So I don't want our relationship to remain the same.

Let me contribute to your love, Murai, so that I can move on.

Thank you.

Now that we have a clear goal, it's easier for me to plan a regimen.

I love you, Yayo-chan. As a friend.

Hey, I'll walk you home.

Hirai, I'm fine. I live nearby.

Then let's take a detour.

I'm saying I'll keep you company while you cry.

MACHIMACHI

[Yayoi cries]

-[Hirai] Gross! -Shut up!

You said you'd keep me company, so shut up and keep me company!

[Hirai] Sorry. I'm amazed how horrible you look.

Can you blame me?!

[Hirai] Please, wipe your nose at least.

Gross!

-Did you wipe it? -Yeah, I think I'm good now.

If I lose any more fluid, I'll die of dehydration.

[Hirai] Hey, did you really wipe your nose?

[Yayoi] I said I did, didn't I?

Stop checking on how gross I look. Are you trying to pick a--

fight...?

-[Yayoi gasps] -[♪ romantic upbeat music playing]

Yeah.

[Hirai] It's fight-picking season at Hirai Farms.

[stammering] What was that? You pervert!

I have no objections. I'm Pervert of the Year.

You're annoying, but you're freaking cute.

[Hirai] I love you so much, I can't stand it. Cut me some slack!

What? Don't shift the blame onto me! Give me back my first kiss, you pervert!

I refuse! I'll never return it!

Are you nuts? I just got rejected by the guy I love!

[Yayoi] Can't you just console me like a normal person?

-It's all right, Yayo-chan. -[Yayoi gasps]

[Hirai] I'm sorry I'm not princely like Murai.

What's gotten into you?

You called me dumb, didn't you? Pervert.

-It's Shinri. -[Yayoi] Huh?

[Hirai] It's Shinri Hirai.

-[Yayoi] What is? -[Hirai] What? Are you stupid?

It's my first name, stupid Yayoi.

[narrator] The next day.

There's no point submitting a proposal. We've already decided on the main event.

Please. Please approve it. I'm begging you.

-I think we should do this. -What?

It's better than Takaomi's idea of lubed-up sumo wrestling.

Looks like someone gets me.

Seriously, Yucchan? "Takebe"...

..."Martial Arts Tournament"?

TAKEBE MARTIAL ARTS TOURNAMENT

[Tanaka] My proposal has been approved.

The strongest students will fight in groups,

and the winner will qualify to challenge the Hyper Champion.

Why on earth did you make such a proposal?

It's completely personal, but it's for your own good.

[Murai] What? What do you mean?

I'll appoint my brother as the Hyper Champion.

Since it's a martial arts event, you can fight fair and square, right?

I'll keep my cheeks for you, but only if you manage to win.

[Tanaka] What's going on?

I'm going to keep this for myself, too.

[narrator reads]

-[narrator] Ba-dump! -Shut up!

One thing I am concerned about

is whether your brother will be willing to participate.

He's already agreed.

I'll do it if it's for your sake.

[narrator] Police officer.

[Tanaka] All you have to do now is win.

Is it fun for you to make me so happy?

[narrator] So happy he can't emote.

I wouldn't say it's fun, but I do think you're cute.

What's happening?

[Murai] I'm overwhelmed by love.

I'm racking my brains to find an innocent excuse to hug you,

but I can't think of anything.

Stop right there.

[Hirai] Hey, Murai!

Oh! I didn't notice you, Tetsuko. Sorry!

It's dangerous to tackle someone out of nowhere!

[Murai] My brother!

[♪ closing theme song playing]

NEXT TIME EPISODE 7

Translated by Kanako Murakoshi