Original subtitles

French novelist Maurice Bedel once said,

"Love is the shortest path from one heart to another."

"A straight line."

FACULTY ROOM

Excuse me. Sensei, what did you need to see me about?

Seriously...

You've gotta cut the crap.

Murai, a 17-year-old high school student.

Has excellent grades but is a bit weird.

Tanaka, a 24-year-old homeroom teacher. Anxious to go home and play otome games.

Why couldn't you fill it out properly?

With your grades, you could get into a good college.

I did fill it out properly.

If you keep screwing around like this, I'm going to call your parents.

I have never, not once in my life, screwed around.

How can you say that with a straight face?!

CAREER PLAN MARRY TANAKA-SENSEI

Let's just say, for the sake of argument, that you're serious about this.

I can't accept it.

You know why, don't you?

Yes, I know.

The truth is, I'm confused myself.

This is the first problem I've encountered that I can't figure out with my head.

Here's my conclusion.

This emotion is impossible to control.

It is truly a once-in-a-century, once-in-a-millennium, love.

I just wanna go home and fawn over my fave.

Are you listening to me? - [Tanaka] I wasn't listening at all!

I understand how you feel.

But listen, Murai.

Here's the thing. I would never go for someone...

...in the 3D world...

...with long, black hair in the first place.

So will you think about your career plan seriously?

Thank you for your advice.

The following day.

Murai, do you understand?

This is an important period for you as a second-year,

as your scores in school will determine your career path.

Okay, let's start homeroom.

Yes, I do understand.

I believe I'm scoring higher than ever now.

I love you, Sensei. Please marry me.

Murai, come see me in the faculty room after homeroom.

With pleasure.

I'm a 24-year-old high school teacher.

People around me are always asking, "Don't you have a boyfriend?"

-Shut up.

I'd rather spend my time and money on video games

than waste it dating some guy.

Hitotose!

Let me pray. I am so content.

I don't want a boyfriend. I don't want to get married.

This official pic is killing me.

I have him.

Tanaka-sensei, are you okay?

You've been frozen for two minutes straight.

You told me to come see you after homeroom, so here I am.

Wait.

Wait a minute. Wait... What?

He... He looks...

exactly like him!

Looking at him up close, he's the spitting image of Hitotose!

Sensei.

The distance between us is unnatural.

No. Get a hold of yourself. Calm down!

I'm just losing it because of that godly new pic, that's all!

Make sure you dye your hair back by tomorrow.

Calm down and look again. He looks nothing like--

- He looks exactly like him! - Why?

So, Sensei. Would you go for someone with short, blond hair?

Would I?! It's like my fave walked out of the game and into real life!

This isn't about what I go for.

Stop messing with me, will you?

I'm not messing with you. I truly am in love with you.

I'm dead!

Enough is enough!

I'm telling you this for your own good, Hitotose!

Who's Hitotose?

Now I'm dead.

What the hell is up with your hair?

KIRIYAMA LOUDMOUTH

I thought you were going for TenTen's look!

I was rooting for you, you know?

HIRAI SLEAZEBALL

It suits you somehow.

TenTen wasn't going to cut it anymore.

- The hell does that mean?! - Quiet down.

- Why didn't you tell me? Hey! - So, what happened, Murai?

A little thing called love. Love?!

Wait a minute! You know the concept of love?!

I've known it for quite a while.

For real?

Love? You're talking about L-O-V-E love?

Yes, L-O-V-E love.

So? Who's the girl?

Who is it? Who, who, who, who is it?

Tanaka-sensei.

Why do you guys look like that?

Murai, Murai.

There's no way you could be talking about Tetsuko, is there?

Tetsuko? - Don't be stupid, Hirai.

I'm sure it was the autocorrect in Murai's head.

It malfunctioned and Tetsuko popped out, right, Murai?

What's Tetsuko?

Huh?!

The teacher of class 2-1, Tetsuko the Iron Mask.

She's your homeroom teacher. Come on!

She came in first on the ranking of Merciless Teachers her very first year!

And by the way, based on appearance alone, her BWH measurements are 30-22-32.

Not bad at all!

Listen to me, Murai.

As your friend, there's only one thing I can tell you.

Give up on her.

No.

You...

Winning Tetsuko's heart would be harder than winning Osaka Castle

during the Toyotomi regime. Do you understand that?

So what?

I'd defeat even Ieyasu Tokugawa in order to marry Tanaka-sensei.

Are you insane, Murai?

We're talking about the Iron Mask here. Snap out of it!

Such a mask doesn't suit her.

I'll throw it in a blast furnace along with the two of you.

Help!

We support you.

I am Tanaka, a high school teacher.

I have 20/200 vision. I usually wear contacts,

but my student has transformed into my fave and I'm about to lose it,

so no more contacts! I'll just wear glasses when I need them.

Okay, finals are coming up next week,

and those with low scores will have to take extra classes over the summer.

That's all from me.

No way!

Sensei.

There he is, the troublemaker boy!

What is it, Murai?

What is the schedule

for the extra summer classes?

The schedule isn't set yet.

Besides, I don't think it's relevant for you, Murai.

That may be, but since I am highly concerned about my teacher,

I'll attend the summer classes while staying on top of the college prep class.

That's admirable, Murai.

Too close, too close, too close...

Thank you.

A haiku from Tanaka.

Seriously no

Seriously no, for real Seriously no

Sensei. You've turned into the Buddha, Sensei!

I almost achieved enlightenment.

By the way, Murai.

What happened to your face?

Oh, it's from a fight I had with Tao.

Tao? Do you have a brother?

No, Tao is who I live with.

So cute!

Tao's front paws are both white, like he's wearing socks.

God, that's so cute!

This is a picture of Tao when he was a kitten.

Cute!

This is when he called me for the first time.

No way, that's too cute!

This is when Tao walked in on me in the bath for the first time.

So cute! So precious!

Cats have the power to save the world.

And...

And?

I love you, Sensei.

Huh?

Hey, Murai.

We were looking at pictures of Tao, weren't we?

How about you stay on-topic?

I'm sorry. I couldn't help myself.

A haiku from Tanaka.

I can't with this guy

I truly cannot with him I can't with this guy

Sensei, you've turned into the Buddha again. Sensei!

Murai in Love.

Thank you.

BATH

HAPPINESS

Huh?

Murai? Sensei.

What a coincidence! Do you come here often?

Why the hell are you here?

Yes, since I was little.

I feel relaxed whenever I come here. How about you, Sensei?

Me? I've been coming here since I moved back to town.

I went to college far away, so it's nostalgic for me.

BEER

At this distance, this'll be easy!

I'll go home before he has the chance to get any closer.

Sensei.

May I sit next to you?

What?

That's a bit...

A bit?

No, nothing. It's fine...

Wait, wait, wait!

Why the hell did I have to get a beer after taking a bath?

Why didn't I choose strawberry milk or something?

Worse, I'm wearing the same old clothes I've had since middle school.

I mean, what the hell is "happiness"? I'll kick your ass!

May I take this opportunity to ask you three serious questions?

Sure?

Are you seeing anyone at the moment?

Where did that come from?!

Please answer me.

That's none of your busi-- It is my business.

It'll help me decide how I should proceed from here.

No, I'm single.

In the 3D world, that is.

That's a relief.

A relief? You little...

It's a natural response. Because I love you, Sensei.

HITOTOSE "IT'S A NATURAL RESPONSE. BECAUSE I LOVE YOU."

Because I love you.

Sensei, what's wrong?

- The lumberjack suddenly... - Lumberjack?

No, never mind.

These nerves are real tough. But I like a good challenge!

Stop it! Who the hell are you? Get out!

Here's my second question.

Who is Hitotose?

This is no good. They're too hard.

- Hey, Apprentice, bring me a chainsaw. - What?

Like I said, I just misspoke.

I found it to be beyond the scope of acceptable misspeaking.

Not a single part of it was even close to my name.

But Master, that would go against the craftsman's code!

I can't cut this. What choice do we have?!

Bring me a chainsaw now!

Hitotose really isn't anyone. Just forget it. Please.

Oh, God, my nerves.

I'm going home now. Good night!

My nerves are breaking down.

Sensei, may I ask my last question?

What is it?

Why won't you look me in the eye?

What? Eye...

That's because

you look exactly like

my beloved fave!

Sensei?

Sensei!

CAREER GUIDANCE ROOM

I have committed a terrible blunder.

A blunder in which I got a nosebleed and passed out in front of my student.

It's not like I wanted to become a high school teacher.

I would've taken any job with a stable income

that allowed me to devote myself to my fave.

I only want one thing.

To protect the beautiful, sweet world where me and my fave can live in peace!

Don't worry. I love only you, Hitotose. Please stay and watch over me.

Illness.

GAUGE OF DELUSION MAX

Excuse me. Here he comes.

Don't worry, Kitty. I'm with you.

Yes. Thank you, Hitotose.

Visual and auditory hallucinations.

Sensei, what did you need me for?

First of all, thank you very much for carrying me home after I fainted.

No, you have nothing to thank me for.

Actually, I was really glad I got to talk to you that day.

- Now, let me get to the point. - Okay.

I need you to stop being in love with me.

No. That was fast.

Kitty, don't give up. Defeat that alien for me!

Do you even understand what it means to be married?

It seems like you're being awful frivolous about this whole thing.

Marriage means becoming husband and wife and spending your whole lives together.

I would never be frivolous about something so serious.

You're still in high school right now.

How can you talk like that when you have no plan for the future?

I can. I have an absolutely unshakable will.

I love you, Tanaka-sensei.

That is the one thing that will always prevail.

People's feelings change.

Then that means there is a possibility

that you will fall in love with me.

If I give up on that possibility now,

it would render my life up to this point meaningless.

That's quite the exaggeration.

How could that be?

We've only known each other for a few... months...

Huh?

What's with that face?

Kitty, that boy is totally insane!

I understand.

If you love me, that's fine! You're free to do whatever you want.

But I will never fall in love with you!

Remember that, if nothing else!

Yep. I'm the one Kitty loves, not you.

Sorry 'bout that, my little doppelgang--

GAUGE OF DELUSION

Murai?

Sorry.

I somehow felt a strange evil presence behind me all of a sudden.

My... My almighty Gauge of Delusion.

No matter what happens,

I will never stop loving you with all my heart.

Please remember that, if nothing else!

Big Sister, have you heard? About Murai's drastic transformation?

Little Sister, as a fellow member of the Murai fan club...

Total members: two.

...it should go without saying that I have.

Now.

Let us investigate!

Hitomi Nishifuji, 16 years old. A famous cosplayer.

Yuuka Nishifuji, 16 years old. A formidable manga artist.

Kiri-chan!

Call me "senpai"!

I bet you know what happened, don't you?

What are you talking about?

Isn't it obvious? I'm talking about Murai!

Oh, Murai?

That guy... He's crazy.

He's awesome, just deeply amazing.

Yeah. He's so badass he'll blow your socks right off!

He's super awesome.

Big Sister, I think we've hit the limit of Kiri-chan's tiny vocabulary.

This is no good. We've got no choice. Let's go ask the pervert.

Kiri, lunch.

Hey, Murai. Speak of the devil. Be right there.

Murai! Good afternoon!

Good afternoon. Lunch.

This is our first time seeing you after the transformation.

Excuse me. Huh?

Okay, come on. Big Sister, that's...

Get lost, you two. Wait... That's...

- We're going to lunch now! - That's...

Hitotose.

I'm telling you this for your own good, Hitotose!

Hitotose really isn't anyone.

What the hell are you talking about?

I'm not talking to you!

Get your hands off him, now!

Don't provoke him!

Now you've pissed me off! You've got some nerve, first-year!

Hitotose...

What? You wanna step outside? Sure, let's do it!

Did you just say "Hitotose"?

What?

Yes.

Hitotose, aka Midnight Angel.

He's a ninja from the Date Army in the otome game Sengoku Koi Emaki.

His outlandish statements and crazy antics have won him some hardcore fans.

What's an otome game?

A game in which you experience virtual romance

by dating a character in the game world.

We've gotten into this game just recently,

but Hitotose is so quirky that we really struggled to beat it.

As my big sister said, Hitotose is a really unique character.

He's famous for confusing players

with statements so cringe they make your hair stand on end.

I see.

I didn't understand any of that, but do you think I could borrow this game?

Murai? What's the matter, Murai?

What made you say that? Come on, you can tell us.

The person I'm in love with called me Hitotose by mistake.

The person you're in love with? Tetsuko?

- That means... - Tetsuko is playing this otome game...

Who is the person you're in love with, Murai?

I will tell you when the time comes,

but for now I need you to listen to me.

Since she got my name wrong, she's been acting strange.

First, she won't look me in the eye.

And if our eyes do meet, her face turns bright red

and she turns into the Buddha or even faints.

- I'm sorry, Murai. - [Murai] It's an adorable sight,

but it feels like she's avoiding me, which is frustrating.

Could this all be due to the fact that I look like Hitotose?

Yes, I think so.

The fact that she even knows Hitotose is pretty telling already.

But if she's turning into the Buddha,

I think it's safe to say that he's her number-one fave.

I agree.

I don't know what I'd do if my fave appeared in the real world.

If so, I would like even more for you to lend me this game.

I need to learn about

this Hitotose person as my romantic rival.

If that's what you want.

I appreciate it.

With all due respect, since this is a rare opportunity,

I do have one condition.

What is it?

I'd like you to help us out at an event we're participating in.

I'd like you to cosplay as Hitotose

at the doujinshi convention we're participating in.

Sure, no problem.

Yay! Thank you. You'll be a big help.

I did it, Big Sister!

Nice work, Little Sister.

Kiri, can I stay over at your place tonight?

I just thought it'd be nice to have someone with me.

What about me?

NEXT TIME EPISODE 2