Original subtitles

With "A human touch" as our tagline,

we've been in the temp business for 15 years now.

We've come close to bankruptcy more than once,

but I've used every dirty trick in the book to get us back on our feet.

And today, I get to taste the fruits of all that I've achieved.

Delicious. Not a hint of poison.

No problems, Mr. President.

Tamotsu. You, too, Natsumi.

Congratulations on your marriage. Pump out a bunch of healthy boys for me.

Cheers!

Cheers!

Mr. President!

You useless piece of...

How?

It wasn't poisoned.

I didn't poison him!

So how'd you do it?

How'd you slip poison past that hotshot poison taster?

I cultivated an immunity in the taster.

You did? How?

I spent three months adding minute doses to his food

until he could survive a lethal dose.

But wasn't that a huge pain?

Well, yeah.

No one would expect me to do something so ridiculous.

That's why we're able to stay in business.

By the way, Hikaru, have you given any thought to you-know-what?

What do you mean?

Marriage.

Akari, do you seriously think I could get married?

I don't meet any women in my line of work.

But...

I know.

Grandma wants to make one of us the new head of the Poison Clan.

When I told her I couldn't because I'm single,

she matched me up with a total stranger from a branch family,

and nearly forced me to get hitched.

As if I'm that desperate to get married.

So the line of Poison Masters ends with me.

I'll spend my life single,

and you should spend yours with your girlfriend.

Well, it's not like I can see girls going for you, anyway.

Can it.

(Bug Master)

Long time no see, Bug Master.

Glad to see you haven't changed...

Hey, c'mon, Julia.

Yeah.

I hear the Needle Master has three kids now. All boys.

The food bills are no joke.

'Course, I plan to spend my life single.

Less stress that way. You know?

About that...

I'm thinking of getting married soon.

She's a nice, quiet girl.

And she accepts me for who I really am.

Seriously?

Didn't think I had it in me, did you?

To be honest, I figured you had even less chance than me.

You wouldn't know it, but I worked myself to the bone.

Look at you, turning traitor.

Listen, Gero.

Me getting married won't change the fact we're best buds.

Right?

Right.

Congrats.

See you, Gero.

Let's do this again when things settle down.

Hey, Bug Master.

You're awesome.

I don't think I could ever find my special someone like you did.

Marriage never made a good impression on me,

but seeing you talk about it today,

I found myself thinking maybe it's not so bad.

Not that it makes any difference in my case.

It's such an honor to have you here, man.

You seem to be doing awfully well for yourself.

We owe that to guys like you.

We offer "cleaning" services at reasonable prices

even your average Joe can afford.

Oh, the ladies work here. They're assassins-slash-secretaries.

Use them to help with work, freshen up, or however you like.

No, thank you.

Hmm? That doesn't do it for you?

Ah, wait, Master! That's...

Bulletproof glass partition. Pretty swanky, huh?

Here's the latest piece of human scum I'd like your help with.

The heartless marriage swindler, Mei Kinosaki.

She's been causing all sorts of trouble on our turf.

Take care of her.

Um, who are you?

You're about to experience...

nerve paralysis in your extremities that'll work toward your brain.

You'll soon be in agony, as if you're being ripped to shreds.

And you'll be fully conscious throughout.

Finally, I'll finish you off with a deadly poison I've concocted.

Time to regret you were ever born.

Um...

My name's Mei Kinosaki.

Have we met be...

Be quiet.

I'm sorry. It's just...

You remind me of my first love. I had to ask.

So the marriage swindler is flirting to save her skin?

It's true I conned people.

I needed a lot of money

to save my little brother who's sick.

I took all the loans I could get and worked jobs I could never admit to anyone,

but it still wasn't enough.

But if I can die with the spitting image of the man I love watching over me,

maybe life isn't all bad after all.

So please, at least tell me your name.

It's Gero.

Boss, are you sure about this Gero guy?

I mean, he only works targets who are criminals. "Human scum."

Who does he think he is?

He's a Poison Master.

The Gero family is one of the oldest in the assassination business.

Anyway, he might have his silly hang-ups,

but he's in high demand. That makes him the real deal.

- Now, let's watch him work.

- Mr. Gero... - Now, let's watch him work.

What?

I'm sorry. Forget I said anything.

Does this woman...

really have...

the hots for me?

Sorry for calling your emergency line.

What's wrong?

I'm moving back to the main house.

I wanted to tell you before I go.

What?

I'll give birth to a new Poison Master. An heir to the Gero family.

One of the branch family members is also looking for a partner.

Hey, hang on. You don't need to do that.

You don't get it at all.

Grandma's serious.

She told me so herself. If you don't carry on the line, and I refuse to...

...they'll take away my freedom and force me to have babies.

If that's the alternative, I'd rather go to them on my terms.

Akari, what about your girlfriend?

I'll have to break up with her.

Don't do it.

What do you suggest? Sacrificing yourself in my place?

That'd be even worse.

When else can I make myself useful?

Wait a minute.

If you don't want to die, marry me.

I need to marry to become the head of the Poison Clan.

If I have to be with someone, I want it to be you. At least you like me.

I can help with your brother's illness, too.

Is it fair for me to be so lucky?

Of course...

there's no way in hell I would.

That's the look I wanted to see.

I mean, I'm gonna die, and it'd piss me off to go out without getting a shot in.

Man, what a relief.

You see couples and whether it's their personalities, wealth, looks, or whatever,

they're all together because they're a good match.

But a piece of shit who proposes to a target he can just kill anytime

isn't a good match for anyone.

Figures.

Well, at least, if you're serious about finding someone,

you've got to start by coming clean about how you really feel.

Everyone finds their ideal partner by figuring each other out,

butting heads, and running themselves ragged.

Do you really only want to get married for an inheritance?

Uh, Master?

Get on with it already.

We're paying good money to watch you work.

I only dispose of human scum who deserve to die.

It's not a justice thing.

I just don't take jobs that'd make it hard to sleep at night.

Of course, murder's still murder.

And yet, I sometimes catch myself wanting to live in peace with someone I love.

That side of me makes me sick to my stomach.

The truth is...

I wanna meet someone I like and lead a fun, happy life as much as the next guy!

One where she asks, "How was your day?" and we chat before falling asleep,

or she says "What's wrong?" when I cough.

But...

There's no way I'll ever meet anyone like that.

I never went to school. Not even daycare.

I've lived as a Poison Master since I was old enough to form memories.

Showing weakness leads straight to failure.

I could never open up and bare my heart to a stranger!

So...

What are you talking about?

You just poured your heart out to me, and we only just met.

You're right that being an assassin is a big drawback.

But in that case, just work at meeting all sorts of different people.

If you put yourself out there and keep at it till you're worn out,

someone who's into you is bound to turn up.

'Course, it'll probably be hell.

Now, get it over with.

I'm human scum.

My brother's medical bills won't get paid because I screwed up.

I'm taking away the future of the person I care about the most.

How much scummier could I get?

Master Gero.

Why don't ya call it there?

You already got plenty of dating advice out of that marriage swindler.

Now, finish this scumbag off.

No.

I need you.

Only an expert matchmaker could marry all those people.

So I want to hire you in that capacity.

I'll do everything I can to keep you and your brother alive.

And in exchange, you'll help me get married!

I've dated more people than I can count,

but I've never gotten a proposal like that before.

Still...

That's if you make it out of here, remember?

I'm real disappointed in you, Master Gero.

You see how it is.

We have a deal.

Killing the Poison Masters' heir apparent will rocket us to the top of the industry.

You people take jobs from regular folk at rock-bottom rates,

then use what you know to blackmail them for the rest of their lives.

How many lives have you ruined?

Like I care. What's wrong with taking suckers for a ride?

You think you're some kind of hero?

Just making sure you meet my condition.

You're all...

human scum.

Shoot him!

Kill his ass!

Hey, where'd he go?

You get to have a front-row seat.

Now, watch this Poison Master work.

Wow. So I guess...

you're not just all talk?

You really are that good?

They're still nobodies, even when they gang up.

Anyway, I only used my "300 Torments of Hell."

They'll live, and the trauma will keep them out of the business.

Hikaru? You know what I said earlier?

I'm leaving now.

Akari.

You don't need to succeed Grandma.

Like I said, you have no idea what I'm...

I get it now.

Meeting someone you can love and build a life with

is about as close to a miracle as you can get.

So you ought to live with your girlfriend.

Tell Grandma...

I'm going to get married and lead the Poison Clan,

but I'm going to find a partner myself.

Seriously?

You always decide everything on your own.

Well, okay. I'll tell her.

What's the holdup? I can't get around yet.

H-How should I carry you?

I've never touched a girl except on jobs.

Where is it okay to touch?

Oh, don't worry about that.

I mean, I'm a guy.

Oh, in that case...

Huh?

(The Poison Master's Search for a Bride)

A bath after a blowup hits different, don't you think?

Hey, Gero, wanna join me?

No, thanks.

Come on. Where's the harm?

No, thanks!

Ah, I feel fully alive again.

Kinosaki...

"Doesn't look like any man I've ever seen"?

Wanna see for yourself?

Why do you wear women's clothes?

What?

Because my latest mark was a man.

I wear men's clothes when I con women.

It's more fun when you can go both ways, you know?

So, Gero, proposing to me was the best move you could have made.

Pro...

I can teach you how to hook anyone, man or woman.

Then, hurry up and...

Here. Look at this.

I've registered you for a matchmaking party.

Fill in your profile.

Huh? Wait, it's after midnight, so this is today.

"Profession"?

Wait. Writing the truth is probably a bad idea.

"Self-employed."

There are way more men than women coming,

so I'll charm all the men and leave you with fewer rivals.

Remember, Gero.

Grooming and fashion are just ways to avoid making a bad impression.

Improving them will only get you as far as "nice guy."

No one's gonna fall for you unless we find your charm and bring it out.

Try different approaches and see.

Hello. It's nice to meet you.

My research tells me first impressions are everything.

I've got the perfect pickup line.

I'm Gero.

I make *** million a year.

What were you thinking?!

She recoiled in horror!

But my "charm" is my income, right?! It's the top feature in men!

Maybe, but blurting it out right away makes you a jerk bragging about money!

At least look her in the eyes and smile before you say anything.

Maybe I'll look up how to smile when I get home.

Gero, we'll try this next.

(Match!) (Send a message) A dating app will give you a chance

(Match!) (Send a message) to settle in and really talk with girls.

I got you a date in seconds.

So let's go bring out your charm.

U-Um...

A Poison Master should never eat anything someone else serves him.

I developed that instinct to protect myself,

but I doubt anyone here is out to get me.

So it will be fine! Totally fine!

How was that?

O-Okay, we'll try with this girl next.

N-Next is...

Next.

Just today, I met nearly 30 women,

but I didn't exchange contact info with a single one.

W-Well, you did the best you could.

Still, I know our goal is to find your charm,

but I figured you'd hit it off with at least one of them.

Kinosaki.

Maybe I just don't have any charm.

You do. I know you do.

It's just hidden, so we can't see what it is yet.

I promise there are people out there who will be into you.

I'm gonna polish you up and bring out your charm so you can knock 'em dead.

Actually, I did find one thing we can work with.

What's that?

You like DIY candy kits.

Huh?

People with niche hobbies can have a great time chatting.

Also, is it me, or is this cleaner wicked strong?

I mixed it myself. I call it "Joker."

Using deadly poison to fight stubborn stains is my favorite way to de-stress.

I can make cleaning agents strong enough to melt iron when I set my mind to it.

Oh, is this another niche hobby?

Maybe just never mention this one to anyone, 'kay?

Found you.

Well, my place is this way.

See you tomorrow.

Sure.

Wait, Kinosaki! What do you mean, "tomorrow"? Where?

(Add Friend)

Mei Kinosaki, what did you do to my big bro?

Huh?

Don't give me that.

He used to brag he'd make the living fossils

in this lame-ass biz beg for mercy.

Now he's saying he's gonna take over the family cleaning service.

Maybe he got tired of life in the big city?

That was a lead pellet.

Now that look gets my blood pumping.

I'm gonna make you tell me everything that went down.

If you beg for your life like you mean it, I might give you another...

I'd rather die than team up with trash who con regular people.

You've got guts.

But people who make a living off dirty jobs like ours

and still toss around half-assed morals about who to target

can't survive in this business.

That pretty face of yours is your weapon. I'll make sure you can never use it again.

My next shot'll be a shotgun blast.

B-Boss!

Up ahead!

Gero?

Who cares?

Turn him into roadkill!

What the...

Y'know, being a cleaner doesn't sound so bad.

You dropped this.

Thanks.

Thank you, Kinosaki.

I could never meet so many women in one day on my own.

Just one rejection would have left me moping for a lifetime.

I know I'm hopeless, but I'm counting on you.

You know, I didn't get anyone's contact info today.

Hey, are you listening?

Gero, would you mind giving me yours?

(Friends: 1)

I doubt my friends list will ever get any longer.

I don't know why,

but you're dazzling me right now.

I've got it. I've found it. I've found your charm.

This is the story of the elite assassin known as the Poison Master, Hikaru Gero,

and his search for a bride.

- I mean, people call these kinds of places "date spots," right?

- Today, you're going - I mean, people call these kinds of places "date spots," right?

- on your first date... rehearsal! - Let's go on another date. No business.

- What will you say to her? - No way in hell.

Let's date with a view to marriage!

Don't you dare.

Next time: "What is 'Charm, ' Anyway?"

(What Is "Charm," Anyway?)