Original subtitles

Just becomes a sigh, and soon there's nothing you won't

try. Between the sheets, the heat is on, and the leap

for the morning comes.

I find it's where you'll meet every kind. You'll see the pros

and cons between the sheets.

This thing stinks.

Yeah, it stinks all right.

Jesus.

Jesus, God.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,

hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,

hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,

hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,

hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,

hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,

hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey

Hey, that's nice.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's all right.

Hey, let's get a beer, huh?

Yeah.

Let's do it.

Okay. Gesundheit.

Thank you.

You're talking to me.

What do you say, kid?

The birds are singing, the sun is shining, the air is fresh, not a cloud

in the sky.

Come on, what do you say we slip to join and get a drink somewhere?

Sorry, but I don't drink.

So who drinks?

I was thinking more of... What?

My dear was only a suggestion.

I know, but that's why it's merely suggested.

Anybody ever tell you you got great pants?

I think I've heard just about enough.

My dear, you're blushing.

Let's stop playing these frivolous games. I mean, I was looking at you, and

you were looking at me, and... Well, it's in the stars.

And if I'm not mistaken, I... I think I felt your foam ripple.

Oh.

Looking at you kind of makes my springs warm.

Oops.

Excuse me.

How embarrassing.

You know, you remind me of a girl I once knew during the big one.

Big what?

War, sweet cakes, war.

Hmm. I bet she was a twin size.

No, a queen.

It was during the big war, the War for Independence, 1773.

Oh, say, can you see by the dawn's early light?

She was shy.

I was aggressive.

You mean to tell me that you had an affair with a queen size during the

Revolutionary War?

Well, let's just say I was an uninhibited third party.

It was cold.

As I recall, the snow was falling.

Come here.

You're chilly out.

Yes.

Lady, I beseech you.

One kiss, and one kiss only.

Oh, no, no, no, no, I can't. Oh, but you must.

No, no, no, no, I can't. But you must. No, no, I can't.

Well, perhaps the sky were to fall.

Would you kiss me then?

Perhaps.

Well, perhaps I were a man just passionate about your bosom. Oh!

I'm sorry. I'm sorry, my dear lady. It's just that when the moon gets full, well,

I become a prisoner of my own passions. I am sorry. It won't happen again.

I should hope not.

My dear maiden, I have here in my pouch some excellent tea and...

Even though the colonies are winning the war, I should like to trade this tea for

perhaps the smell of your perfume.

Didst thou say tea, my lord?

Yes, tea is what I said.

Oh, forgive my unseemly curiosity, but it has

been near six months since I and numerous other fair maidens have even

sipped even so much as a small sip of tea.

Well then, my dear lady, what is it you wish to sacrifice for a

mere taste of this succulent leaf?

Sacrifice, my lord?

A passionate embrace, perhaps?

No, no, no. A passionate embrace is but a mere suggestion of impatience.

No, I'm sorry. Another offer must be made.

A peck of much tenderness on thy cheek?

Would that serve thy purpose for just a taste of thy tea? No, no, no. A tiny

peck on the cheek. Why, that is a mere indication of fondness.

In order for me to relinquish my leave, well, a much more amorous

suggestion must be made.

I must confess, Lord Dukemeyer, I'm baffled.

Lady, do you not find me a man of much desire?

Oh, yes, Lord Dukemeyer. Well, then, do you want more than just a passionate

embrace and a kiss on the cheek?

Yes, my lord.

So?

So?

Yes, so?

Be the light.

Very well, lustful lord. Shut thine eyes.

No, no, no!

I do not want a passionate embrace, nor do I want a kiss on the cheek.

I want to smell thy perfume.

Relations.

Relations? Yes, you silly twit. Relations.

My lord, what are relations?

Relations, you know.

Marriment.

Copulation.

But you must, dear lady, you must.

Now you, you close your eyes.

Come on, close your eyes.

Close my eyes? Yes, close them.

There, tell me, Laura.

There, mine eyes are closed.

Good.

Oh, my dear lady, what is it you see?

Demons!

Demons? I see demons!

Go on.

Demons squeezing the air out of me with no mercy.

Shouting slogans of wild exultation.

Such as?

Such as?

Oh.

It's so high.

Dad! Dad! Dad!

Oh, yeah?

is odd, isn't it?

Yeah, it sure is.

You know, nobody talks anymore.

Everybody's so busy, busy, busy.

Tell me, my dear, uh, whatever happened to the days where men were men and where

a dime was worth a dime? And where a plate of soup got a plate of soup?

Hey, uh, you know... Oh,

no, thanks.

Maybe later.

Why?

Just one touch.

N-O, no.

You know, that's the problem today with you mattresses. No communication.

Talk about it, but no.

You probably got a headache, right?

Nobody talks.

Nobody.

Except once.

Not too long ago.

Want a drink?

Don't drink?

No, I'm positive.

Don't drink?

You don't want to drink?

I'll drink with you.

Glad to.

Won't you, kid?

So?

How's work?

Good. Good.

Very good.

Lisa.

Mm-hmm? You know that opening in advertising?

I got some ideas. No, Tim. I want to tell you about this. Tim. You're going

to love it. I swear, this is going to not be good. Can we wait?

No, no, no. You better.

Listen to this. Listen to this. You got three agencies, right?

Okay, so what I want to do is to take those reagents and consolidate them.

Tim!

The position's closed.

The position's closed?

Just like that?

Yeah, I'm sorry.

I wanted to tell you, but, you know.

No.

I don't know.

Why don't you tell me?

Huh? We filled it about five days ago.

I'm sorry.

Five days ago.

Why didn't you tell me?

I tried to tell you, but... But?

What? Oh, you know, folders and papers. I just didn't want to get into it.

My future, and you just didn't want to get into it.

That's tremendous.

I'm sorry. It must have been a terrible inconvenience for you.

What am I supposed to say?

Was it up to me?

Well, it wasn't up to me.

Albert's got his hands in my pants. Wilson's making the decisions.

I mean, what am I supposed to do?

Take my job.

I mean, if it means that fucking much to you, why don't you just take it?

What am I supposed to do?

I don't know.

You gotta be kidding.

Come on.

You break my nuts over a job and you want me to fuck you now?

Hey.

Look at me, I'm your friend.

Come on.

You a lady love?

I'm sitting here hating your guts. Do you want to fuck me? Is that it?

Oh, you don't hate me.

You piece of turd.

You are... You're fucking unbelievable.

You cold-hearted little bitch.

What, guys who hate you? Is that it?

That's it, huh?

That's the game we're in?

That's the game?

That's the game, huh?

Kiss me.

Lick my hip over here.

I love you, Jimmy.

You love to rip it.

Especially when you... You love.

Good night.

Good

night.

Bye. Oh.

Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Give me home. Home.

I'm not going to stick that thing in me. Yeah, I think I am.

Okay.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Throne.

so so so

Why the hell not?

Well, this may sound old-fashioned and everything, but I don't know you well

enough. I mean, really.

We just met.

You know, you got spunk.

Oh, thank you. I hate spunk.

Well, I always thought that love was supposed to be... Wait a minute.

You're not getting sentimental on me, are you?

I mean, I got my life, you got your life, and after tomorrow, who knows? We

could be ships on a passing sea.

So what do you say? Let's... No.

Eh, whatever happened to the days of free love?

Eh, free love.

I always been for free love.

Can you feel the karma?

Uh-huh.

It's far out.

I can feel it.

Do you have anything to eat?

Huh?

The coconut shreds on the plate over there.

Hey, did you go to that march yesterday?

For what?

Pesticides.

Save the pesticides.

Save the pesticides.

Save the world.

You know, there's just so much work to do.

You know, people in the establishment, they just hate us.

I don't want to be in hate, you know. I want to be loved.

You know, like flowers and...

and peace and, you know, good karma.

You know what I mean?

Hey, you know, we could make good karma.

Let's make... Oh, wow, this is great.

This is so intense.

Let's just make good karma.

What are you doing?

Huh? Don't choke me. Oh, I'm not going to choke you.

It's okay.

I'm just looking at you. My dick is melting. It is?

Yeah. No, it's not.

Take it out and look.

Huge. It's great.

It's two inches.

Hey, where are you going? Don't freak out.

Tom. Mother?

It's beautiful.

Everything's beautiful.

Look at the colors.

It's not awful.

I gotta breathe.

I gotta breathe.

It's huge.

I gotta breathe.

Oh.

Yeah.

Oh.

Jesus. Jesus.

Yes.

You goddamn Yankee son of a bitch!

Now you listen to me.

I don't want no trouble.

I got separated from my battalion.

I haven't slept in three days.

I came into this barn, I saw that bed, and I fell asleep.

Now, it won't mean any trouble for me to use that sword on you.

If you're going to make a fuss and get me caught.

Help me!

Help me!

Look, I ain't going to fool with you.

Do you understand me?

You're just a little girl.

I am not.

I'm a woman.

I'm 18 years old.

A little girl in woman's clothes.

I'm more woman than you'll ever see in your whole life.

Yeah?

Well, I'm glad to hear that.

Because you know how long it's been since I've had a woman.

You can only run so far in this bed, and I'll get you.

You don't even look like no southern belle.

My mama was black.

Where's your mama now?

There's no one left but me.

Don't matter.

We're gonna do what we're gonna do.

Then I'm gonna leave.

Open your mouth.

You don't know what it's like not having a woman.

Open your mouth.

I wonder if you don't want me to.

How long has it been so long since you've been with a woman?

Honey, it has been too fucking long.

Damn long.

We don't know what it's like.

I know what it's like.

I want you to do something for me.

Oh, God.

Oh, yeah.

Just put it in your mouth.

That's good.

Suck on it.

Suck on it good.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, easy, easy.

Oh, that's good.

You like that, huh?

I want

to

see that glass.

Oh, sure, do me.

Oh,

that's nice.

Want me to fuck you?

Fuck you now. Oh, I want you to fuck me now.

You liked it, don't you? Oh, yes, I like it.

You like it.

You want to see me cum?

I'll show it to you.

I'll show it to you good.

I'll get your wish.

Come here.

Long

may

the revolution.

Hey, by the way, you were right.

You are more woman than I'll probably ever meet.

I bet she loves it down and dirty.

I beg your pardon?

Excuse me. I must have had a fog in my throat or something.

I know her type.

I bet she loves whips.

I heard that.

You... You... You miserable cad!

My dear, a simple hello, darling would do.

Listen, baby.

Let's stop playing these games. I mean, I'll... I got your number.

You really turned me on. You know that. Come on.

Little bitch. Just a touch.

Not even if you were the last bet on earth would I share my padding with you.

Not even if you shined your posts with turtle oil and lubricated your springs

would I share my padding with you.

Ever.

Well, that's what you say now, but later, later you'll give in.

I wish you would have known, Rico.

Now, there was a man who had a way with women.

Definitely. Rico?

Who's Rico?

Rico.

Rico Rigo.

Only the toughest guy on the holy side of Chicago, that's all.

How tough was he?

You know, I'm glad you asked.

He was so tough that he gave Al Capone his first Tommy gun.

That's how tough he was.

It was after the war.

WW1. Rico was looking to make a claim on some of the territories on the whole

south side.

Oh, yeah.

Good old Rico.

Yes. Maybe, yeah. Here we go.

Oh, Rico!

Yeah, I know, I know. Say it.

Say it.

You know, why don't you read it to me one more time?

Well, this time with feeling.

I want to hear the vowels.

Okay.

A.

E.

I.

O. No, no, no. Baby.

You're sweet.

The headlines.

The headlines. Come on, give it to me.

Oh, okay.

Not since the days

of the...

James. James.

Okay.

James.

Gang... Has... Pro... Pro...

Prohibition.

Prohibition. Come on, sign it out. You can do better than that. Let's go.

Pro... Prohibition... Seen...

Such... A... No...

No...

Notorious. Notorious.

Tell me something. What'd you do? Take your stupid pills this morning or what?

It's notorious.

Come on. Let me hear it. Give it to me.

Will he be stopped?

Ha! No way.

Will his reign on New Windy City be halted?

Them fucks.

I gotta tell you something.

You know what I'm gonna do?

As soon as I buy up all the...

politicians, judges, get all the booze in Canada, and we'll get you a nice

present. You know what it's going to be?

What?

It's... Ah, you'll love it, whatever it is. Save me one for it.

Oh, Rico. Yeah, I know.

Save it, save it.

I'll tell you what. Why don't you sing me a chorus? I love the way you sing.

You're a good singer.

Come on, sing.

She'll be coming round the mountain when she comes.

She'll be coming round the mountain when she comes.

Oh, Rico.

Smelly, forget the rest of the song.

Why don't you tell Rico how much you love him?

Tell him how much you care for him.

Tell him how he's moiter with the dames and his tasting clothes is impeccable.

Tell him. Why don't you tell him?

You know, Rico never forgets.

Remember that. Rico always remembers.

Rico, you're just so... Yeah, I know, I know. Save it.

Why don't you sing me another song?

What do you sing? Okay.

She'll be coming round the mountain when she comes.

She'll be coming round the mountain when she comes.

Oh, Rico.

Pretty good. You know, I should teach you some Italian songs.

Oh, Rico!

Oh,

Rico! Rico, this is the commissioner.

You've got two minutes to come out with your hands up, or we'll come and get

after you.

Coppers, get under the pipe.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah, this is Rico, you coppers! You never get...

What are you doing here?

Give it up.

You'll never make it. What are you talking about?

Oh, yeah, hold it.

How about ten bucks?

That's you.

It's for the parish, I'm sure.

They like that guy, huh?

I got company here, you know.

Oh, how you like

my boy, huh? Look at those muscles. Oh, God, love him.

Come on, give me a break, huh?

Give it up, Rico, huh? Give it up.

Come on, look, a man's got to do what he's got to do. You know, what he's got

to do, he's...

Gotta do. You know what I mean. You know what I mean.

Look. Hey, look, look.

Why don't you go buy a hat?

Take 20 bucks, go buy a hat.

Look, take the old man to Florida.

of California.

You making the rotten booze.

Hey, now, wait a minute. I don't make no rotten booze.

You'll break your mother's heart, you strones, you.

It's embarrassing, you know.

Hello.

Look at the arms on that boy, huh?

He could have been another bad rooster, but no.

He ain't got a stake out for the bank, huh?

Strones.

Don't talk back.

I want you to tell the policeman.

You're sorry for what you did.

Go ahead.

Come on. I can't do that.

Why not?

Because I'm Rico, see? Rico doesn't call nobody, see?

Bad breath.

And you break your mother's heart, huh?

You got $10. I took it careful.

Yeah, it hurts.

And, uh, what about the tip?

You want that cab driver pig on the cheapskate?

No, no, he's another ten bucks.

Thanks. You son of a gun.

Tell them we're with you, brothers. It's nothing personal.

I just couldn't stand the way the old man walked.

I'm going to go and stop, right?

Nobody gets Rico alive!

Nobody! Not even Rico!

Okay, coppers. You want Rico? You got Rico.

That poor girl.

Oh, that's beautiful.

It's not that beautiful.

You know, you're deep.

I didn't know how deep you really were, but you're really deep.

You don't mind if I move over just a touch, do you?

No, not at all. My frame is your frame.

It's just that without sheets, I sometimes get so cold.

Yeah, my baseboards sometimes get that way.

That's why I hate the rain.

Did I ever tell you about the time I fell in love with a twin size?

Yeah.

Oh.

How about the time I was in Philadelphia and met a Murphy mattress?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, how about the time I was just in Philadelphia?

No, I don't think you ever told me about that.

Oh, thank God.

It was in 1957.

I had just come back from London and I was looking for a home.

I was hungry and I was wet.

Luckily, I found a flat in South Philly.

It was nice.

Not paradise, but it was nice.

So what do you think?

Makes me want to barf a roni, you know.

I knew you'd like it.

So, what's so important that you had to bring me all the way here that you

couldn't tell me at my Aunt Roseanne's house? Oh, God, I hate you, Aunt

Roseanne. She's got a face like an elephant. Sick.

Besides, she ain't cool.

She probably don't even listen to Top 40.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, what do you want?

I need your opinion.

On what?

Why don't you come over here?

You know, sit down here. I can see you better.

Talk to you, you know.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. You look good.

Yeah.

My opinion on what?

Why don't you take your sweater off? It's kind of hot in here, ain't it?

Sheldon. Hey.

Name ain't Sheldon.

It's Minnie.

You see that? It's Minnie, okay? That's my name.

Since when?

Since when?

Since the Moondogs had an initiation, that's when.

Come on, Shirley.

Take off your sweater, huh?

What for?

What for?

For me, that's what for.

Do it for me, okay?

It's like an oven in here, ain't it?

Take the sweater off. Take the sweater off.

Okay,

Sheldon.

The sweater's off.

Yeah, good.

Now, what do you want?

Why don't you take your shoes off?

Sheldon, I swear to God, if you got anybody taking pictures of this, I

swear... Let's not be taking pictures, look, all right?

I just want you to be more comfortable for what I got to tell you.

What are you going to tell me?

It's a secret, okay? But you got to take your shoes off first, okay? Come on.

Sheldon, I swear to God.

Hey, it ain't Sheldon. What's the matter? You can't read? What does that

say? Minnie, right? That's my name, Minnie.

Yeah, like a mouse.

Hey, watch it.

Okay.

Why don't you take your stockings off? I mean, might as well go for the gusto,

right? My stockings?

Yeah.

Man, you are a nut.

I swear to God.

First it's the sweater, now it's the stockings.

Okay, Sheldon.

The stockings.

Okay, now, what do you want to tell me?

You see, because what I got to say is kind of important, and...

I don't want you getting a heart attack and dying on me or nothing, so... Why

don't you lie down here?

Come on.

Why don't you just lie down?

Come on, like this.

Come on.

That's it.

Lie down.

There.

That's it.

There. Good.

Yeah, it better be good.

Sheldon, I swear to God, if anybody comes in now...

I swear to God, I'm going to die. I swear to God.

Well, we're going to come in. Just relax, all right?

What is it already? I am starting to get hives.

All right, I'll scratch them for you, okay? Just close your eyes.

For what?

Would you just close your eyes?

Christ.

You are sick.

A real pimento olive.

I swear to God.

Hey, watch it. Where's my shoes?

Where are you going, Shirley?

My shoes?

They're over there, but where are you going?

Sheldon, just what kind of girl do you think I am anyway? Just answer me that.

I'm not that kind of girl, I swear.

Give me my shoes.

Shirley, where are you going?

Give me my shoes.

Where are you going?

The West Indies. Give me my shoes.

All right. All right.

This mean you don't want to... No!

No! Oh, shit.

Sheldon, you are a nut. I swear to God.

Where are you going?

Get out of my way, I swear to God. Sheldon, where are you going?

Sheldon, I'm going to scream, I swear to God. No, no, no, don't do that.

I got something I want to give you.

Yeah, but you got to take shots for it too, right? No, you don't get to take

shots for it.

You know I hate violence.

It's just that... Well, you know, I ain't known you that long, right? Like

what, maybe two weeks or something?

Yeah, so?

Yeah, so...

You want to go steady or what?

Oh!

Oh, Sheldon!

Oh, it's beautiful!

Oh, Sheldon!

Oh! Oh,

wait till Rochelle finds out. She's going to die, I swear to God.

Oh, I'd have got you wasted, but...

I didn't know how to spell Shirley, you know? Forget it. I love it.

Yeah?

Do you like it?

What are you, okay? I love it.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh,

yeah.

Come on.

All that way?

Yeah. Yeah, get it off.

I'm sorry.

Oh,

yeah.

I feel so good.

Yeah, it does.

Take care of him.

Oh,

Sheldon.

Sheldon. Oh, Sheldon.

You want the big one? You want the big one?

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.

Close, you know.

Hold it for a second. We didn't change to doggy.

Oh, yeah.

Oh,

Sheldon. Sure can't put it on.

Can I put it on him?

Yeah.

Here? Okay.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, God.

Oh, sorry.

Oh, it's so beautiful.

Where's someone to do that?

Oh, Jesus.

Oh, God.

Can you eat the whole thing?

Huh? Oh,

yeah, suck it.

Oh, God.

Oh, God. Fuck it.

Oh, son.

Oh, God.

Eat the whole thing, shall we?

Come on.

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

I'm getting close.

Wait a minute. Wait, wait, wait. I'm getting close. Wait, wait, wait.

Come here, come here.

No, no, no. Don't move. Don't move.

Come on. I want to see your rag.

Look at your rag. Come on.

I love it.

I get everything.

Wait,

wait, wait.

I'm getting close. Go back.

Do it right.

Do it regular.

Open it up.

Shirley? I can't go to the phone no more.

I can't go to the phone no more.

I want to fuck you, Shirley.

Oh, Shirley, I love you.

Oh, Sheldon, I love you, too.

Oh, Sheldon, stick it in me.

In you.

Oh, dear.

Oh, God, you're such a good fuck, Shirley.

I think I'm going to do it.

I'm going to do it.

Yeah, I'm going to do it.

Sheldon, no, please.

I'm going to get pregnant.

No. Do it in my mouth. Please, Sheldon. Do it in my mouth.

Okay. In my mouth.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay. Okay.

Paul.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, suck it.

Suck it.

Yeah, yeah, all the way.

Yeah. Oh, God. Oh,

yeah. Oh, God.

Oh, shit.

Oh, God.

Yeah, like I said, I've been around.

If there was something said, I've heard it. If there was something done, I've

seen it.

Yeah, man of the world, they call me. A real gulliver.

You know, you're something.

Yeah, well... No, no, no, no. I mean, you're really something.

You don't have to overdo it.

Well, maybe a little.

I mean...

Just to think of all the places you've been and all the people you've seen.

Ah, it's... Well, it's just amazing.

Yeah, well, it's nothing to bust a gut about.

You're really something.

Such strong posts.

Hey, what are you doing?

Oh, your springs are so hard.

Oh, oh.

And what a frame.

So, so sturdy.

Lower. A little lower.

I just can't take it anymore.

Hold me or I'll bust.

I thought you'd never ask.

Hold me.

I don't think it's safe, baby.

Sleep. Good night.

Oh, don't go yet.

Come on.

Stay up a little longer.

Please? For what?

Cookies and milk? Give me a break. I had a long day. Good night.

Good night.

Whoops.

Well, maybe I'll stay up just a little longer.

I'm going to show you things you've never seen Take you on a trip

beyond your dreams Around the world and back in 80 ways

And if you'll come, you'll be amazed Seems to

me I've heard that line before

I think I know where you're headed for.

First do them lights and pour the wine.

And when I wake, I'll find that I'm between

the sheets.

How sweet it is when a touch leads to a kiss.

And a kiss becomes a night.

And soon there's nothing you won't try.

Between the sheets, the heat is on.

And long before the morning comes, under the covers, we

lovers learn all about each other when we meet. Between the sheets,

between the sheets, the truth you find, it's where you'll meet.

You'll see the pros begin The losers and the winners When you cry