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- Screaming -

Carly! Carly! - Screams -

Carly!

Cici! What is it now?

Help me!

Help me!

I'm coming in!

I'm naked!

Do you want my help or not?

Fine!

What the bloody hell were you screaming at?

There!

There!

You've got to be kidding me!

It's looking at me!

Don't kill it!

What are you doing?

Do you want me to get rid of it or not?

Yes!

Oh!

Is it gone?

It's gone.

Now please, stop making such a fuss.

Jesus.

Get a razor to that thing.

Oh my God!

It's not the 1970s, you know.

Don't look!

Don't look?

I can't unsee it.

Your muff is permanently tattooed to the back of my eyelids.

God, you're weird!

You think I'm weird?

Well, you shouldn't body shame anyway.

You're right.

It's your body.

And if you want to grow a woolly jumper for the winter, then that's your

choice.

Well, you've probably got park-here tattoos above yours!

At least mine doesn't say dead end!

Sorry about all that earlier.

Forget it.

What are you doing?

I'm just trying to figure out how to get there.

Can't believe we're going back.

We're just like where Mum used to take us.

Do you remember the route?

Not exactly.

Can I see?

Neither do I.

We'll wing it.

Mum would be so happy if she knew we were going together.

Yeah, I guess.

I miss her.

It's alright.

We all know how much you miss her.

Hold on to your flat caps, folks, because this tornado is the biggest to hit

Yorkshire in over 20 years.

It's currently whirling its way across the Yorkshire Dales, but forecasters say

this wild wind may be starting to finally fizzle out and lose its puff.

So it's back to you guys in the studio.

You know you don't like it when you turn a news into a kids' show, right?

Look, I don't tell you how to use your little camcorder, OK?

So don't you be telling me what words to use.

How was the sound?

Almost as blustering as your reporting.

What was that?

Oh, nothing.

It's fine.

Just a tad of a blown.

I'm going for a slash.

Downwind to me, please.

Try not to create a cyclone of piss.

I'll try.

Hold on to your cocks, folks.

This is the biggest load of hot air Yorkshire's heard of from a reporter in 20

years.

What in the name of...

Mike?

You OK?

Did you get your little dick caught in the brambles?

Is this another one of your jokes, Mike?

Because if it is, I swear to God, I'll get this can of mace and I'll squirt it

right down your bloody Jap's eye.

Ah!

Hey, Don.

Morning, Miranda.

What brings you here?

Stopping by to check on...

everyone.

Well, thanks for checking in on me, first love.

Coffee?

Yeah, please.

Is Carl in?

He's probably still beavering away in his shed.

Oi, what's going on here then?

Huh?

My wife.

By herself.

With the infamous park ranger.

As if I'd be that lucky, Carl.

Not in front of the guests, Carl.

Would you like some biscuits, Don?

I shouldn’t, but...

I won't say no.

Don't worry, Don.

Nothing wrong with having some handles for the girls to grip onto.

You won't let go.

I told you.

That lad loves the night.

How'd yours do?

Should have been a three-legged rocking horse.

Here you go.

Thanks.

Hand it over, buddy boy.

Straight to the holiday fund.

You should quit while you're ahead, you know.

Fine.

You two planning on going on holiday together?

Maybe.

Why?

You want to come along as well?

Make it a threesome, you and your old bugger?

No, no.

I've actually come to talk to you about the weather.

Oh.

I mean, that's far less exciting than a... ménage à trois

You stop teasing him!

Right you are.

Sorry, Don.

There's actually a severe warning in place across two counties.

There's a tornado tearing through Yorkshire about an hour south.

It's going to pass pretty close, so I'm just making sure everyone's aware and

can batten down the hatches.

Wait a minute.

Wait a minute.

She's wet, hot, and guaranteed to blow.

Why in order single guys head towards this tornado bird, huh?

Can you be serious for once, Carl?

Right you are.

Sorry, Bob.

What about the hikers, Don?

There's a lot of people camping out near the Emery Caves and trails.

We've seen a few in the last couple of days.

Well, I've sent a few home already.

I'm going to do no pass across the trails, though, and I've got Bobby doing the

south end of the park.

Shit, that's quite a lot of ground to cover.

Do you want me to lend you a hand?

We'll manage.

Well, listen, Don.

If anyone gets stranded, we can take people in.

You send them our way, OK?

Well, thanks...

I appreciate it.

As long as they bring beers, mate.

Can we stop for a bit?

Seriously?

Come on, five minutes.

Fine.

Two.

Old times.

Almost.

You've gone soft.

Yeah, I'm sorry, but...

Look, she wouldn't want you to wallow in self-pity for the rest of your life.

I know that, it's just...

What?

Say it.

It's just...

If you'd have seen her in those last few months...

It was the first time that I saw her and...

I realised she was just like the rest of us.

I'm sorry to burst your bubble, but Mum was never a fucking superhero.

Well, maybe not.

She was all we had.

As far as I'm concerned, she was barely there in the first place.

So, now you and I are finally in the same boat.

That's not fair.

She loved you just as much as she did me.

She tell you that, did she?

Didn't think so.

Come on.

We'll get dark soon.

Carly, wait!

Hello?

Excuse me.

Hello?

Hello?

Excuse me.

We have some weather warnings in place.

No shit, Sherlock.

Excuse me.

You're in the way of my photo.

I'm terribly sorry.

Are you parked far from here?

Yes.

And he made me walk eight miles to get here.

Okay.

I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to start making your way back now.

I really must insist.

Come on.

I'm going to need you to take more photos of me once he's gone.

We were only trying to keep us safe, babe.

He doesn't even look like he can take care of himself.

What the hell is that?

Don?

Don, this is Bobby.

Reporting for duty.

What is it now, Bobby?

Don, I've got sight of the twister.

It's heading northeast.

I don't know how to say this, Don.

I think I might be losing my mind.

I think I saw this thing...

...spin out.

Spiders.

Oh, Bobby.

Excuse me.

Have you been eating them mushrooms on your hike?

No.

No.

Look, I know how it sounds, Don.

But I'm being serious.

All right, Bobby.

Enough of the spider jokes.

I'm going to have a check on the house trail, please.

No.

No, Don.

Then keep a safe distance from that twister.

Hello, Don?

Don?

Oh, shit.

Hey, Don.

Hey, Louisa.

You heard anything from Bobby?

No, nothing.

All right, well.

I'm going to go up to the McGinn trail and check there.

Have you heard what they're saying online?

It's probably nonsense, but there's been reports and sightings of large

spiders...

Spiders?

...being spat out of that tornado.

That's ridiculous.

I've watched a video on Tic Tac Toe or whatever it's called.

A spider eating a Pomeranian.

It's got to be a-ho, right?

Yeah.

Yeah, sure.

Just keep this line clear if you're expecting any calls, will you?

Sure thing.

Watch out for those spiders, though, eh?

Nah.

Can't be true.

Carly, why is that car doing that?

It's flashing.

At least someone's having a nice time.

Let's...

Let's check it out.

Oh, fuck that!

Jesus!

What?

Holy shit!

What was in the back?

It's too crazy.

What?

Oh, please tell me there weren't any spiders in there.

It's not that they're in there that worries me.

It's how big they are.

What the hell are you talking about?

There's ostrich-sized eggs in there.

Can we leave?

Uh...

Cici?

What?

There's one on your shoulder.

What?

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

Get it off!

Cici, no!

I'm joking!

It was a joke!

Shit, there's nothing there.

Don't worry.

You bitch!

You horrible fucking bitch!

Oh, I'm sorry.

Oh, I don't know why I did that.

I'm sorry, Carly.

I'm so sorry.

It's OK.

It's OK.

I'm sorry.

What I said about the ostrich eggs is true.

Carly, I swear to God, if you're winding me up, I will never talk to you again.

Go see for yourself, then!

No!

Don't move.

What?

Do not move.

What the hell are you doing?

There's a spider bigger than Aunt Cici's shit, so he's standing a few feet

behind you.

Carly, don't even go there.

If you run me one more time, we are done.

Seriously, I'm not joking this time.

You're supposed to be the older sister looking after me.

Why can't you just grow up?

Cici, I swear on Mum's grave, stand still.

Is it dead?

Yeah.

Make sure.

It looks like what we're running across is fucking dead.

We need to get out of here.

I've never seen one that big before.

It can't be possible.

It looks pretty bloody possible to me.

Right.

On the count of five, let's run.

Ready?

What about the backpacks?

Leave them.

We can't.

You want to try and outrun giant spiders in backpacks?

OK, I'll start again.

One, two, three, four.

You're breaking my hand.

OK.

Five, four, three, four, five.

Five, four, three, four.

Carly.

Five.

No!

You girls OK?

Who are you?

I'm Don Wilson.

Part-time park ranger, part-time mountain rescue.

Full-time badass?

Bloody hell, that was amazing.

Are you all right, mate?

I'm fine, it's just...

I've not done that in a while.

Done what?

Doesn't matter.

Looks like the rumours are true.

Rumours?

There's a tornado tearing through Yorkshire, chucking out giant spiders.

Yes.

That giant spider thing I don't get.

I've seen some things in my time.

Some terrible things, but...

I ain't never seen anything like this.

How many do you think there are?

I dread to think, but...

It wouldn't be safe out here even if it was just this twister to contend with.

Can we drive?

How far to your car?

About five miles or so.

You know how to get about there?

Yeah.

Right.

Get to your car, head north-east.

From what they're saying, this twister can chuck these spiders out to two

miles.

If you run into any problems, there's a small cabin just down the bottom of

Hudson Pass.

It'll take you about an hour.

God, an hour?

It's owned by Carl and Miranda.

Just tell them Don sent you.

They'll take people in during the storm.

You seen any other hikers out here?

No.

But there's something you should know.

What?

There's a car down on the McGinn Trail.

It's got these massive spider eggs.

Shit.

Right.

You should just keep moving and watch yourselves.

I'll take care of it.

Come on.

What's up with the Wi-Fi?

It's dead.

Trying to tune this old radio, but it's nothing but static.

That thing hasn't worked in ages.

Then why the hell do we still have it?

We might need the parts.

For what?

Well, I haven't figured that bit out yet.

Although, makes for a cracking place to rest my brew, huh?

Before the internet went down, I was reading some really strange things.

Oh Christ.

What now?

UFOs?

Reptilian overlords?

Oh.

A shark on Maritime Bay?

Oh, shut up.

Okay, okay.

What are these internet weirdos told you this time?

That the tornado is firing out killer spiders.

The size of cows.

Bloody hell.

Oh God.

Well, I'll be buggered that's not the best one yet.

Well, what if it's true?

Well, that's a good thing you've got all those plug-in spider-terrans, huh?

Do you want to keep on teasing me?

Well, you know I like it rough.

Why don't you double-check all the doors and windows, huh?

Anything for you, my Yorkshire pudding.

Oh, hon.

Just so you know, the Earth's a sphere, just like my crown jewels.

Yeah, I'll flatten them too in a minute.

Whoa!

Eat your heart Gary Frost.

Is the car far?

We're close.

You think there's any more of those things?

I really fucking hope not.

So what's the plan?

A five-star hotel outside of the Twister's range?

Yeah, and we can get room service and all.

Because I know it's the anniversary of her death, and mum loved adventure, but

even she would draw the line at giant spiders.

Would she?

What's that supposed to mean?

Nothing, forget it.

Come on, tell me.

Drop it.

Shit.

What?

I left Chris Hemsworth in my bag.

What are you talking about?

Nothing, it doesn't matter.

Chris Hemsworth?

I don't get it.

It's just a toy.

A toy I call Chris Hemsworth.

What, like an action figure?

Oh no, oh hell no!

Jesus, Carly!

Don't act like you don't have one.

Sorry, I had a Steve Buscemi at home.

Steve Buscemi?

Come on, Pervert.

Shall we move?

Fine.

Do you really call it Steve Buscemi?

This whole place gives me the heebie-jeebies.

Get it off me!

Cici!

You got it, it's dead.

Cici!

You got it, it's dead.

Please, help me.

Jesus.

Let's go.

Of all the things it could have been, why'd it have to be spiders?

Let's hope Mum's up there having a good laugh at us.

Mum's not up anywhere.

She's dead.

And we're stuck in this nightmare alone.

We're not alone.

At least we're together.

Lucky us.

Okay, forget the car.

I want to go home.

I think we'll see us.

I can't fend off a bunch of mutated spiders on a frickin' rock.

What makes you say they're mutated?

Oh, I don't know.

Maybe they're the size of a cow.

What are we gonna do?

We're surrounded by trees.

This is spiders' paradise out here.

Why are you so dramatic?

I'm not being dramatic.

I'm terrified.

You're acting like you don't even care.

Of course I care.

But sitting around crying about it's not gonna help, is it?

What do we do?

He said something about a cabin.

Miranda and Carl.

Do you remember the way?

I think so.

I say we run.

And pray their cabin doesn't turn into a spider's nest.

Okay.

Wow.

Wait.

Is that the tornado?

Oh my god, Steve's got to see this.

Wow.

Get it off!

Get it off!

Argh!

Looks like the wind's dying down a bit.

Tornado must be petering out then.

What?

They closed our investigation into toxic waste leaks.

It was settled.

Of course not.

My guess is money just changed hands and they'll carry on doing it.

Wrecking whatever's left of the local wildlife.

Do you think...

What?

We should move.

Why?

We'll remember Chernobyl.

Chernobyl?

What, so I grow a third leg?

I can live with that.

I'm serious, Carl.

So am I.

It's a big company shitting all over the little guy, as per usual.

We'll just thank God not put it in our water.

At least I hope not.

You know what?

Might play it safe.

Grab a beer.

Yeah, real safe.

What?

Nothing.

Carl?

What?

Come look.

What are they running from?

Can't be the tornado.

Are you Carl?

Yeah.

Who are you?

God, what happened to you?

He's...

Can we come in?

You're not meth head, are you?

No!

Carl!

You kind of look like meth head.

Don Wilson sent us...

He said you'd take us in.

Come on, let me help you.

So did you see the tornado?

No.

But there's something worse.

Worse?

You'll think we've lost our minds.

Yeah.

To calm your nerves, young lady.

I’m not sure about that.

So what are we dealing with?

Spiders.

What kind of spiders?

We don't know what kind.

We just know that they are huge.

Shit!

The reports were true, I told you!

People know about this?

We saw it on the internet before it went down.

I just thought it was lunatics, like my wife sharing AI junk.

Well it isn't.

A few of them nearly got hold of us before Don came to our rescue.

Where is he?

We left him down at the McGinn Trail.

They were searching for other hikers.

We tried to get to our car but it's been overrun by spiders.

Looks like they're making nests in the cars.

They'll probably look for buildings too.

Shit.

Is this place sealed up tight?

About as tight as it can be.

It's an old cabin.

There are gaps.

And air holes.

It probably weighs in through vents for smaller spiders.

Oh, we're going to die.

Cici, stop it!

It's not the time for one of your meltdowns.

Not the time?

When is the time when I actually feel something coming?

When it's useful.

When it helps.

Not when it makes everything worse.

Listen, love.

We rent this place out when we're not here.

And one thing we're really proud of is that barely a bug, insect or creepy

crawly gets in here.

We've got fly killers, insect and spider repellent devices.

Yeah, they're the plug-in things.

Hell, they'll keep the little buggers out.

What about on cow-sized spiders?

Shoot.

We've got spare plug-ins.

Let's get as many as we can in every room possible.

They're supposed to have a 50-foot range.

And we'll check all the windows again.

You know what?

I bet there's a late toxic waste run-off on the plan.

What?

Who's this conspiracy loon now?

It doesn't matter what it is.

We don't want any spider food.

The only thing they'll be eating are bullets if they get too close to me.

Bullets work well enough for Dawn.

What else can we do?

Well, we're working off the theory that normal spider repellents will work.

But for now, that'll have to do.

Oh, I remember our mum.

She used to make a mixture of vinegar, water and dish soap.

Yeah, I'm failing that.

A shoe.

Well, I've got pretty big shoes, ladies.

But I'll nip out to the garden and get a weed-spraying machine just in case.

Good idea.

We've got some weed-spray bottles as well.

Oh my God, I'd almost forgotten you got that.

How could you have forgotten this?

I don't know.

I was just thinking the same thing myself.

Well, I'm not back in five minutes.

Just wait longer.

That must be

a damn squirrel.

What the hell is happening?

I think Carl's handling it.

Who's the ace expert now, bitch?

Fuck!

We need to get down.

Get down!

There's a shit-tonne of them.

We need to move that furniture.

No, no, down!

Fuck!

Why didn't you give this to me before?

How far is the car?

How far is the car?

Hey, how far is the car?

Well...

Oh, you've got to be joking.

Are we lost?

No, we're not lost.

I parked it up at McGinn Hill, remember?

Well, where is it then?

It's on the other side of those woods.

What?

So you expect me to travel through those woods and get swept away by some great

big bloody tornado?

Oh, I'm sure the tornado's blown itself out by now, darling.

Well, if I knew this was going to happen, I wouldn't have worn my limited

edition.

Don't worry.

If it gets too muddy, I will carry you my sugarplum.

OK.

But only if we can order some gourmet food when we get back to the hotel.

Absolutely, my princess.

Do you think they can see us?

Hope not.

I got the spray bottle.

Shut up!

Son of a bitch.

Where is it?

It's working.

The plug-ins are working.

How many are there?

You don't want to know.

You watch.

I'm going to go and plug a couple more in upstairs.

How long do you think they'll wait?

I don't know.

It's strange.

It's like they're just waiting in formation.

Oh, it's the car!

Oh, goodness.

Finally.

What?

What the hell is this?

What the...

Fuck.

What's happened here?

It's everywhere.

Who's done this to my car?

Rob?

Rob?

Where are you?

Hope you're not playing one of your silly tricks again.

Rob, where...

Where are you?

Come on.

This is silly.

Come on, Rob.

You're scaring me.

You're really scaring me.

Where have you gone?

Rob!

Oh, God.

Oh my god. Are you okay?

Can you hear me?

Hey.

Do I...

Do I still look okay?

I always hated you.

This is nuts.

I think we're secure.

Thank you for taking us in.

No problem.

It can be dangerous in these area parks.

Yeah.

We just never expected mutated spiders to be the problem.

Are we sure that's what's happened?

Finally.

Illegal dumping has its consequences.

Come on.

Destruction of the natural world.

To save on what?

Adequate disposal?

It's going to bite these billionaires in the arse.

Quite literally.

Calm down, love.

Put your tinfoil hat back in the drawer.

It's not so much of a tinfoil hat now, though, is it?

Those bloody things are staring at our cabin right now.

Can we change the topic?

What are you two ladies doing here anyway?

We were going to our parents' cottage.

I see.

Our mum used to bring us here.

But then...

We haven't been here in years.

It's probably worth quite a bit now, that cottage of yours.

Yeah.

I was planning on getting evaluated, actually.

Carly!

How could you even think of selling mum's cottage?

Mum's gone, Cici.

And I'm hardly swimming in money right now.

Sorry.

I didn't mean to...

I'm sure your mum would be very happy to see you both here again.

We've got to cherish the time we have together.

I guess.

Shit.

What?

They're burrowing.

Why the hell would they be burrowing?

They're planning something.

Don't be daft, love.

They're just spiders.

Spiders are actually smarter than we realise.

They're good at problem-solving.

Fuck those spidey plans.

Hey!

God damn it!

You all right?

Get this off him.

Get it off!

Never a better love.

You all right?

Hang on.

What was that?

You all right?

Spider!

They can't get in from below.

The spider repellents, the vibrations, they'll keep them back.

What if they're not trying to get in?

What else would they be digging for?

Shit!

The bastards cut off the bloody power.

Get the generator on, quickly!

Cici, spray under the door.

They're coming.

Spray the vents.

They're going to get in.

They're going to kill us.

I’m going to kill you in a minute if you keep crying on like that.

Yes!

They won't.

They won't.

Jesus.

The generator hasn't got much juice in it.

How long have we got?

An hour, maybe.

What on earth are we going to do?

We're sitting ducks here.

We need more weapons, anything we can find.

Then what?

We make a break for the car.

It's probably already turned into a spider's nest.

If that's the case, we'll have to go on foot.

Well, what then?

Er...

Er...

I've got it.

I've got an idea.

This isn't one of your crazy ideas, is it?

Do you remember that dynamite in the loft?

Shit, it's crazy.

Right.

We douse ourselves with as much spider repellent as we can think of.

We've got no idea how many of them there are.

We're just going to take out as many as we can.

Where are you going to put the dynamite?

We'll lead them to the Emery Caves.

Get them to follow us inside, hide in one of the caverns, and then blow the

front.

What if it collapses?

No, no, no, it won't.

Bobby's old man once blew out a whole cavern of bats.

Didn't touch the cave walls, but blew out everything else.

Shit, we're trusting Bobby's dad?

I haven't got a whole heap of choice.

I can't do it.

If it was anything else, like killer raccoons or a mutated crocodile, then

maybe...

But spiders!

Of all the things on God's green earth, why does it have to be spiders?

Because that's what we've got.

And you don't always get to choose, Cici.

Mommy?

Hold on, baby.

Just got on the phone just now.

Hey.

Hey, Louisa.

Just wondering if you'd heard back from Bobby.

I've been round the drive-thru and to Henry's bar, but there's no sign of him.

Hold on a wee minute, I'm on the phone.

He was due back two hours ago.

Mommy?

Matilda, I said I'm on the phone.

Give me a minute.

Right, thanks, Louisa.

I'll keep looking.

Getting some crazy calls.

Louisa?

Hello?

What the fuck's going on?

Mommy. I'm scared.

Where is Daddy?

It's okay, baby.

We're just...

We're gonna go find Daddy.

It's alright.

Mommy?

Mommy, there's a spider!

Just leave it.

Mommy, I don't like it.

- Screams - - High pitched spider noise -

- Screams -

- Child cries - Mommy!

Mommy

- Child cries -

- Child cries out - Mommy!

- Child cries -

Mommy!

I can't believe you're eating at a time like this.

Listen, love.

I eat 11 pm every night.

And no mutant spider is gonna stop me.

It's like an old fire service rule.

You never know where your next meal's gonna be.

We can't have long.

What weapons do we conjure up?

We've got the liquid sprays.

This.

And your old fireman's axe.

Nice.

Good old Sir Cuts-a-Lot.

Sir Cuts-a-Lot.

You’re mental.

You married me.

Best decision I ever made.

Carly?

Yeah?

I'm sorry I haven't been braver.

It's alright.

I'm scared too.

And I'll try not to go on about Mum so much, but...

Please don't sell her cottage.

Oh, come on.

We need to get our shit together.

If I don't sell it, we'll be living together forever.

Am I really that bad?

No, of course not.

But...

Don't you think you should be more independent?

Fine, I'll stop making fun of the blokes you bring back.

It's not that.

What if I want to get married one day?

And what about you?

Wouldn't you prefer a handsome guy risking you from spiders in the bath?

Not really.

Maybe you should think about it.

Because I could do without seeing your tarantula.

Bitch.

Look, I know it's been hard for you, but I just want to put it all behind me.

I know, I just...

I don't want to be left alone again.

Don't start.

I was there.

For visits.

For an hour here and there.

I was the one having to watch her waste away.

I was the one changing her bedpan.

I was the one holding her hand when she died.

I couldn't do it, alright?

I couldn't watch her like that.

But I needed you.

I needed you and you just...

You left me.

You left me on my own and now you're going to leave me again.

Don't be stupid.

Even if we don't live together, I'll always be here for you.

Promise?

Of course I promise.

Okay.

First things first.

We don't fucking die.

Right.

Everyone pay attention.

This bad boy ignites on zero after the countdown.

Therefore, blow and pull the dynamite in the bag.

Understood.

Good.

Just so everyone knows.

In case.

We'll all make it.

Run us through the route.

Right.

We're here.

We'll make a break for it.

Head down this pass.

It's quicker than going uphill.

Agreed.

If they follow us to the caves, then we'll blow them all to kingdom come.

Then we'll just sneak out the back route to Skipton.

And what if Skipton's been taken?

Then we're all screwed.

But no, no, no, no.

There'll be military out there if they ever get that far.

Plus, you know, the building's all made of rickety wood like our cabin.

I guess that's our best option.

I'm all for dynamiting those arseholes.

Alright.

Generator's going to give out.

We need to get going.

Anyone want another shot of this before we go?

Jesus!

Sorry.

How's that, you hairy bastards?

As free as akimbo!

Let's go bash some bugs.

Ready?

As I'll ever be.

Stay close, okay?

Generator's dying.

I'll take out the big boys.

You focus on the ground runners and the small shit.

Oh Christ.

Right, you're all covered.

Hopefully that's a repellent.

It's repelling me anyway.

We go out fast and hard.

Just like my wedding night.

Carl!

Right, I'll open the door.

Aye, aye, Captain.

You lead us out.

Together.

Together.

Shut the door!

Get it off!

Get it off!

Sis, spray the door.

I can't see!

I can't see!

Where's Carl?

Carl?

Where's my Carl?

I'm sorry.

He didn't make it.

What the hell are we gonna do?

They'll be inside any minute.

We're surrounded.

They're upstairs.

We can't just stand here and wait for our sprays to run dry.

Where's the dynamite?

Carl had it with him.

Are we sticking to the plan?

Yeah, we stick to it.

For Carl.

For your mum.

We have to kill every last one of these slimy, spindly motherfuckers.

We have to retrieve the bag then.

I can keep spraying.

Just point me in the right direction.

I'm not gonna die here.

Not without taking them bastards with me.

Where is it?

Did Carl get back to the car?

No, it's too far away.

It's coming this way though.

Who is it?

Miranda, it's Don.

Oh, thank God you're here.

You girls got here great.

I couldn't find anyone else out there.

Where's Carl?

Shit!

We were planning on leaving them to the Emery Caves.

Why the hell would they want to do that?

We were gonna blow them to smithereens with a bag full of dynamite.

That'll do the job.

Can we go in your car?

Yeah.

The spiders dragged Carl into the garden with the dynamite.

We need to get that first.

Right.

I need one of you to get Miranda to the car, and I'm gonna need some cover and

help to find the dynamite.

Just standard extraction.

Move fast and stay low.

Cici, you help Miranda.

I'll help Don.

Yeah.

Let's make these web room creeps sorry they were ever hatched.

I've only got two clips left.

Is this bat big enough for you?

We have spider repellent sprays as well.

It works.

So far.

It's dark outside.

We're not gonna be able to see more than a few feet out past the wires.

When I move, you cover me.

When you move, I cover you.

When we move, we watch the other six.

The quicker we find that dynamite, the better.

Rules of engagement.

Shoot to kill.

All three ladies, we're gonna kick some of arachnid ass.

Sounds good to me.

One.

Two.

Three!

What the fuck?

They're not here.

Just stick to the plan.

Where are they?

Let's just get the dynamite.

Nothing doesn't feel right.

I think it is.

Something's scared these fuckers away.

There might be something bigger out here.

Carl.

What happened to you?

It's the venom.

I won't say anything to Miranda.

What?

What the hell is happening?

Do you want that?

What?

Thank God.

I can smell burning metal.

What is that?

I don't know.

Oh my God.

Get out, get out.

I'll take this.

Oh my God.

Go, go, go, go, go, go.

Oh my God.

It's gonna blow.

Get out!

No.

She's gone.

She's in there.

She's gone.

She's gone.

Don't leave me.

Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere.

Only got two miles to go.

I don't see anything.

Quiet.

I think they're still tracking us.

They must be following their vibrations on the ground as we run.

Well, we want them to follow us, don't we?

Yeah, I guess.

Don, do you think this will work?

Well, I don't know.

But I want to take out as many of these things as we can.

For Carl and Miranda.

You were close to them, weren't you?

They were good people.

And that Carl, he had a knack for picking a good horse.

Come on, let's go.

Do you think we lost them?

Ah, don't worry.

They'll find us.

Why are you not?

I guess that's why my old Corporal used to call me Mad Don.

Let's go.

Right.

I reckon we've got about five minutes until they find us.

I'll set the time.

You know how to turn it on?

I've blown a few beaver dams up in my time.

That's so mean!

They were stopping animals further downstream, getting a water supply.

And, um, no beavers were blown up.

Fine, I'll let you off.

I want you both to head inside the main cave.

And you're going to find Roger's cubbyhole.

What the hell is that?

It's a small hidden area back from the main chambers.

It's going to keep you shielded from the blast.

Just go into the main cave, follow the main chamber, and you're going to see a

small gap on the left.

Go through that small gap, that's going to lead you to the shielded area.

Spray as much of this repellent as you can.

And make sure you keep a little back just in case.

Is that clear?

I didn't get anything after hidden area.

My God, what is wrong with you?

We need to get in the cubbyhole.

Right, Roger's hole.

I'm going to set the dynamite at maximum impact.

And I'll coax the little spidies into the cave.

Good luck.

You really are a badass.

I agree.

You're like Yorkshire's answer to Rambo.

Rambo wishes he was from Yorkshire.

No.

This is so gross.

Oh my God.

It's so low.

Come on.

We have to go this way.

We must be nearly there.

This must be it.

Let's hope it keeps them out.

Let's hope it doesn't get to that and they all end up barbecued.

Cici?

Yeah?

If we make it out of here, let's keep Mum's cottage.

Really?

Really.

We could go up there and spread some of her ashes.

Say goodbye properly.

I'd like that.

Come on.

Come on.

Eight legs for zero chance.

I'm moving the timer forward!

Run the legs!

Now turn your hold down into a tracer!

I think he's okay.

I'm moving the timer forward!

Run the legs!

What's taking him so long?

He has to be all right.

Of course he'll be all right.

He's a badass, remember?

He's gonna blow.

I have to help him.

No, Carly, no!

Carly!

Go!

Go, Cici!

Carly!

No!

We need to go!

It's too late!

If we don't go, we will die!

Come on!

Get in there.

Wait.

Go, go, go!

Get down, get down.

I'd had a long time ago in Kabul.

I hope you like your meat.

Well done.

to go.

He told us to.

We had to.

Come on.

He told us we had to get out of here.

Come on.

Everywhere.

We have to go this way.

It should be close.

He saved us.

They all did.

Carl.

Miranda.

Don.

We have to make it count.

For all of them.

We made it.

Yeah.

God knows how.

But we're alive.

It's over, okay?

Let's not stop.

Let's get as far away from here as we can.

What the hell was that?

Spin on this, bitch!