All language subtitles for big.daddy.1999.720p.bluray.x264-amiable.EN
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Filipino
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hindi
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Igbo
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Javanese
Kannada
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Malagasy
Malay
Malayalam
Maltese
Maori
Marathi
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese
Punjabi
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Sundanese
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Tamil
Telugu
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Xhosa
Yiddish
Yoruba
Zulu
Odia (Oriya)
Kinyarwanda
Turkmen
Tatar
Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
2
00:00:37,579 --> 00:00:40,623
- Hello?
- Sonny, it's your dad. You asleep?
3
00:00:40,791 --> 00:00:43,876
No. Hey, man. I was exercising.
4
00:00:44,169 --> 00:00:46,629
- Bullshit. You were sleeping.
- I wasn't.
5
00:00:46,797 --> 00:00:50,258
This kid won't stop lying to me.
You still act like you're 6.
6
00:00:50,467 --> 00:00:53,803
Yeah, okay, Dad.
I act like I'm 6.
7
00:00:54,805 --> 00:00:57,807
Found a job yet where
you work more than one day a week?
8
00:00:58,058 --> 00:00:59,308
I've been looking.
9
00:01:00,144 --> 00:01:01,310
Looking won't pay the rent.
10
00:01:01,478 --> 00:01:03,938
All the money I won
from the cab accident...
11
00:01:04,148 --> 00:01:06,607
...is kicking ass
in the stock market, so relax.
12
00:01:06,817 --> 00:01:09,318
- Don't blow it on worthless crap.
- I won't.
13
00:01:11,113 --> 00:01:13,698
You should spend it
on your bar exam.
14
00:01:13,991 --> 00:01:16,617
You're the lawyer.
I ain't taking a bar exam.
15
00:01:16,827 --> 00:01:18,828
I got too much other shit going on.
16
00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:22,331
I don't know what happened to you.
17
00:01:22,499 --> 00:01:25,668
How're things going with
your girlfriend, Vanessa?
18
00:01:25,836 --> 00:01:27,003
Things are going fine.
19
00:01:27,337 --> 00:01:28,629
Shit!
20
00:01:28,797 --> 00:01:29,839
I gotta go.
21
00:01:30,090 --> 00:01:32,842
Shit! You turned off
the alarm clock again.
22
00:01:33,010 --> 00:01:36,846
No! I mean, yes, I did,
but I thought you needed more sleep.
23
00:01:37,181 --> 00:01:40,600
I shouldn't have stayed here.
That was a jerk thing to do.
24
00:01:40,851 --> 00:01:43,436
Why are you going to work?
It's Sunday.
25
00:01:43,687 --> 00:01:47,482
I'm not going to work. I'm going to
brunch with potential clients.
26
00:01:47,691 --> 00:01:51,319
That's how a party planner
gets business, by making contacts.
27
00:01:51,528 --> 00:01:54,864
Meet with me. I'll order in
from Cozy's. We'll have fun.
28
00:01:55,032 --> 00:01:58,868
I am sick of Cozy's.
You order in from there all the time.
29
00:01:59,036 --> 00:02:00,703
The delivery guy's your best friend.
30
00:02:00,871 --> 00:02:03,039
He happens to be pretty damn nice.
31
00:02:03,248 --> 00:02:05,041
This is a rough patch in my life.
32
00:02:05,292 --> 00:02:08,795
Syracuse is 0 and 3.
And I got those medical problems.
33
00:02:09,046 --> 00:02:10,171
Medical problems?
34
00:02:10,380 --> 00:02:14,008
A cab runs over your foot two years
ago. You're hospitalized one night.
35
00:02:14,218 --> 00:02:16,052
First of all, that cab was huge.
36
00:02:16,345 --> 00:02:20,515
And a jury decided that one night
of pain was worth $200,000.
37
00:02:20,724 --> 00:02:22,683
- So there you go.
- Whatever.
38
00:02:23,018 --> 00:02:25,269
Why are you being
so nuts to me lately?
39
00:02:25,562 --> 00:02:28,356
You refuse to move on
to the next phase.
40
00:02:28,565 --> 00:02:30,399
I'd like to have a family someday.
41
00:02:30,651 --> 00:02:33,361
I need someone I can rely on,
not a playmate.
42
00:02:33,737 --> 00:02:36,906
You need a father figure?
"Stop pulling your sister's hair!"
43
00:02:37,533 --> 00:02:40,827
You know what? I'm gonna go to
Syracuse to see my mom.
44
00:02:41,912 --> 00:02:44,831
- I'll be back on Wednesday.
- What are you talking about?
45
00:02:47,918 --> 00:02:52,046
I had call for delivery, but it was
crank call. You want chocolate cake?
46
00:02:52,256 --> 00:02:54,799
Come back later.
I'll Indian wrestle you.
47
00:02:55,008 --> 00:02:56,342
You're going down, sucker.
48
00:02:56,552 --> 00:02:57,593
We'll see about that.
49
00:02:57,803 --> 00:02:59,929
Okay. Peace, out.
50
00:03:00,389 --> 00:03:02,056
You're going to Syracuse?
51
00:03:02,266 --> 00:03:04,100
I need time to think and so do you.
52
00:03:04,351 --> 00:03:05,434
Think about what?
53
00:03:05,686 --> 00:03:08,312
Your life and why I should
be a part of it.
54
00:03:08,522 --> 00:03:10,273
- All right.
- While you're at it...
55
00:03:10,440 --> 00:03:12,942
...think about getting a real job.
56
00:03:13,110 --> 00:03:15,111
I got a real job!
57
00:03:21,702 --> 00:03:23,828
Patrick Ewing, nice shot.
58
00:03:24,621 --> 00:03:27,290
- Hey, Sonny.
- What's up, buddy boy?
59
00:03:27,457 --> 00:03:29,584
I'm out the door. Hey, pal.
60
00:03:30,627 --> 00:03:32,336
- Where you going?
- Manhattan.
61
00:03:32,546 --> 00:03:34,130
You wanna take me with you?
62
00:03:34,339 --> 00:03:36,591
All right, I guess.
63
00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:38,634
Hold on to your money.
Later on.
64
00:03:38,844 --> 00:03:40,344
Okay, take care, Sonny.
65
00:03:40,929 --> 00:03:41,971
See you.
66
00:03:42,598 --> 00:03:44,473
Cadillac, I love it.
67
00:04:04,661 --> 00:04:06,162
Surprise!
68
00:04:06,371 --> 00:04:08,080
Just ignore him.
69
00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:11,167
It's only Sonny. It's only Sonny.
70
00:04:11,501 --> 00:04:13,836
Yeah, it's only me. It's only me.
71
00:04:14,588 --> 00:04:17,632
- What's going on?
- Corinne's going-away party for Kevin.
72
00:04:17,883 --> 00:04:20,676
She didn't tell me.
The roommate has a right to know.
73
00:04:20,928 --> 00:04:23,179
She knew you'd ruin the surprise.
74
00:04:23,347 --> 00:04:24,388
No, I wouldn't.
75
00:04:27,017 --> 00:04:28,100
Hey, surprise.
76
00:04:28,518 --> 00:04:29,518
Surprise.
77
00:04:29,853 --> 00:04:31,854
- Surprise.
- Surprise.
78
00:04:32,022 --> 00:04:33,105
What's going on?
79
00:04:37,194 --> 00:04:39,111
We wasted the good surprise on you.
80
00:04:39,404 --> 00:04:40,529
All right.
81
00:04:48,121 --> 00:04:49,205
Is this your handiwork?
82
00:04:49,456 --> 00:04:51,123
I guess.
83
00:04:51,541 --> 00:04:53,209
See you in three hours.
84
00:04:53,460 --> 00:04:55,962
Good to see you stiffs.
What've you been doing?
85
00:04:56,171 --> 00:05:00,007
Last three weeks have been crazy.
I've been in Denver, Dallas...
86
00:05:00,217 --> 00:05:03,886
I'm sleeping in the office.
We're going to trial on the fraud case.
87
00:05:04,054 --> 00:05:07,056
Honey, it was a great surprise.
I was totally shocked.
88
00:05:07,224 --> 00:05:10,726
No, you weren't!
And I worked so hard on this.
89
00:05:10,936 --> 00:05:12,228
Need some help?
90
00:05:12,479 --> 00:05:14,897
- Honey, your sister's here.
- Hey, sweetie.
91
00:05:15,065 --> 00:05:17,066
I hate Sonny.
92
00:05:17,234 --> 00:05:21,028
My client's out $7 million. All we
can sue on is breach of contract.
93
00:05:21,238 --> 00:05:24,573
Maybe you can sue under
the Foreign Corrupt Practices Act.
94
00:05:25,158 --> 00:05:28,077
I gotta get back to the office.
You're the king.
95
00:05:28,245 --> 00:05:29,745
Mikey, a pleasure.
96
00:05:30,080 --> 00:05:32,081
- I'll see you at home.
- All right.
97
00:05:34,584 --> 00:05:35,960
I'll walk you out.
98
00:05:38,046 --> 00:05:41,007
I gotta admit, I'm still
weirded out when they kiss.
99
00:05:41,216 --> 00:05:43,759
Why? They're gay.
That's what gay guys do.
100
00:05:43,969 --> 00:05:47,763
I know, but they were like
brothers to us back in school.
101
00:05:47,973 --> 00:05:51,350
They're still like our brothers.
Our very, very gay brothers.
102
00:05:52,477 --> 00:05:55,521
What are you doing after this?
Going to a Klan meeting?
103
00:05:56,523 --> 00:05:58,399
Remember when Dad had
that barbecue...
104
00:05:58,567 --> 00:06:00,359
...for his friends and it rained...
105
00:06:00,569 --> 00:06:02,778
...so he and Mom went into the
kitchen and made...
106
00:06:02,988 --> 00:06:06,115
...100 hamburgers
with one frying pan?
107
00:06:06,783 --> 00:06:11,579
You're not gonna let a little rain stop
you from making 100 hamburgers.
108
00:06:25,510 --> 00:06:28,220
That relationship's lasted longer
than I thought it would.
109
00:06:28,597 --> 00:06:31,766
Look at his eyes. He's bored.
I give it two more weeks.
110
00:06:31,975 --> 00:06:34,393
Hey, excuse me. Everybody!
111
00:06:35,270 --> 00:06:38,314
I'm sorry. I wanted to thank you
for coming tonight.
112
00:06:38,565 --> 00:06:39,732
I guess I should say...
113
00:06:42,986 --> 00:06:45,780
I'm getting it.
Tomorrow I'm leaving for China...
114
00:06:45,947 --> 00:06:48,574
...to represent the firm
of Morton and Mandel.
115
00:06:48,784 --> 00:06:52,620
Me, the same guy who once shaved
his ass to win a $5 bet.
116
00:06:53,288 --> 00:06:54,830
Prove it!
117
00:06:57,042 --> 00:06:58,167
Just kidding.
118
00:06:58,543 --> 00:07:01,837
But I am real glad you're all here
tonight, because...
119
00:07:02,089 --> 00:07:05,007
...l'm gonna do what I never thought
I'd have the guts to do.
120
00:07:05,759 --> 00:07:07,301
You're not proposing, are you?
121
00:07:11,264 --> 00:07:14,475
- Yeah, pal, I am.
- Well, think about it, you know?
122
00:07:14,684 --> 00:07:16,185
God, Sonny, shut up!
123
00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:23,526
Anyway, will you?
124
00:07:24,486 --> 00:07:25,694
Yeah.
125
00:07:28,323 --> 00:07:30,074
Good call on the two weeks.
126
00:07:39,709 --> 00:07:41,460
Sonny, what was that all about?
127
00:07:41,670 --> 00:07:45,005
Congratulations. You and Big Boobs
McGee are gonna be happy.
128
00:07:45,215 --> 00:07:46,632
Don't call her that.
129
00:07:46,842 --> 00:07:51,095
You wanna tell your children you met
their mother as a waitress at Hooters?
130
00:07:51,388 --> 00:07:54,390
Sonny, that was five years ago.
She's a doctor now...
131
00:07:54,599 --> 00:07:56,684
...and my fiancée, so from now on...
132
00:07:56,893 --> 00:07:58,561
...Dr. Big Boobs McGee.
133
00:07:58,728 --> 00:08:01,063
- Congratulations.
- Thanks, man.
134
00:08:01,231 --> 00:08:02,982
I just...
135
00:08:03,733 --> 00:08:05,401
...got shit going on.
136
00:08:05,652 --> 00:08:06,735
What's the matter?
137
00:08:06,987 --> 00:08:09,321
Vanessa's gonna
break up with me...
138
00:08:09,531 --> 00:08:12,116
...and I don't know how
to make her wanna stay.
139
00:08:12,325 --> 00:08:14,702
She's getting older.
She wants different things.
140
00:08:14,911 --> 00:08:17,913
Career, stable relationship, a family.
141
00:08:18,165 --> 00:08:19,331
That's how they get.
142
00:08:19,541 --> 00:08:22,501
I want things to go back
to the way they used to be.
143
00:08:22,711 --> 00:08:25,254
When we were at Syracuse,
and Vanessa worshiped you.
144
00:08:25,505 --> 00:08:28,090
- That was nice.
- Nobody hassled you to get a job.
145
00:08:28,300 --> 00:08:30,134
Tommy and Phil
showered separately.
146
00:08:31,595 --> 00:08:32,761
Those were the days.
147
00:08:33,638 --> 00:08:35,347
- What're you doing?
- Lf I make this...
148
00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:37,892
...Vanessa will realize
she likes me the way I am.
149
00:08:38,101 --> 00:08:39,476
You're going to the putt.
150
00:08:39,811 --> 00:08:41,896
Remember, the roof breaks
to the right.
151
00:08:44,232 --> 00:08:46,233
Yes! That's what I'm talk...
152
00:08:46,401 --> 00:08:47,735
Good God!
153
00:08:47,944 --> 00:08:49,320
That can't be good.
154
00:08:54,659 --> 00:08:55,910
Where's Kevin?
155
00:08:56,203 --> 00:09:00,247
He already left. I guess
he forgot to say goodbye to you.
156
00:09:00,457 --> 00:09:03,751
- Why are you here?
- I'm cleaning because you're useless.
157
00:09:03,919 --> 00:09:06,629
Then what, you gonna go to
your Hooters reunion?
158
00:09:06,838 --> 00:09:10,341
You guys talk about whose ass
hangs out of their shorts the most?
159
00:09:10,759 --> 00:09:13,219
At least I can fit my ass
in my shorts, fatty.
160
00:09:13,637 --> 00:09:15,304
Speaking of fatty, whose is this?
161
00:09:15,513 --> 00:09:17,932
- I don't know.
- I'm eating it then.
162
00:09:19,142 --> 00:09:21,518
"We wasted the good surprise
on you."
163
00:09:24,439 --> 00:09:25,481
Yeah?
164
00:09:25,649 --> 00:09:27,441
Lady gave me $5 to bring him here.
165
00:09:27,651 --> 00:09:29,276
- What do you mean?
- Later.
166
00:09:30,153 --> 00:09:31,946
Are you selling raffle tickets?
167
00:09:39,162 --> 00:09:40,412
Oh, boy.
168
00:09:43,166 --> 00:09:45,876
- Kevin Gerrity.
- I got something to tell you.
169
00:09:46,086 --> 00:09:48,170
- What's up?
- There's a kid here.
170
00:09:48,338 --> 00:09:49,421
What kind of kid?
171
00:09:49,673 --> 00:09:51,882
If this note is true, it's your kid.
172
00:09:52,092 --> 00:09:53,342
What do you mean?
173
00:09:55,178 --> 00:09:57,263
I'm having a tough time
reading this...
174
00:09:57,472 --> 00:10:00,557
...but it says, "Dear Kevin:
This is Julian, your son.
175
00:10:00,767 --> 00:10:03,477
I hope you understand why
I didn't tell you until now...
176
00:10:03,687 --> 00:10:07,356
...but he needs your help.
I can't be his mother anymore."
177
00:10:07,565 --> 00:10:09,316
- This is ridiculous.
- Hang on.
178
00:10:10,318 --> 00:10:11,694
Who's this?
179
00:10:12,195 --> 00:10:14,196
This is my friend.
180
00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:18,701
- Is that Kevin on the phone?
- No, it's my Uncle Remus.
181
00:10:20,328 --> 00:10:22,538
Hi. What's your name?
182
00:10:23,081 --> 00:10:24,123
Is he all right?
183
00:10:24,374 --> 00:10:26,250
He doesn't like you.
Leave us alone.
184
00:10:26,459 --> 00:10:27,876
You're such a dick.
185
00:10:28,086 --> 00:10:30,963
That was your girlfriend.
She was acting "Hooterific."
186
00:10:31,381 --> 00:10:33,966
- Who sent that note?
- "Jan."
187
00:10:34,217 --> 00:10:37,219
Jan...
I don't know any Jan.
188
00:10:37,429 --> 00:10:39,388
- Where's he from?
- Where are you from?
189
00:10:39,556 --> 00:10:40,597
Buffalo.
190
00:10:40,849 --> 00:10:42,891
I've never even been to Buffalo.
191
00:10:43,101 --> 00:10:44,768
Maybe it's a mistake.
192
00:10:44,978 --> 00:10:47,938
Is this like the time
you said my parents were dead?
193
00:10:48,148 --> 00:10:49,773
I swear, he's right here.
194
00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:53,235
I'm coming home.
I don't know what I'll say...
195
00:10:53,445 --> 00:10:54,611
Hang on. It says...
196
00:10:54,863 --> 00:10:59,074
..."If you won't take responsibility
for him, they found a foster family..."
197
00:10:59,284 --> 00:11:02,411
Yes, Uncle Remus,
I know the catfish are huge.
198
00:11:02,579 --> 00:11:03,787
That's terrific.
199
00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:06,165
Here's a number for a guy...
200
00:11:06,416 --> 00:11:09,168
...at City Social Service.
Arthur Brooks. I'll call.
201
00:11:09,419 --> 00:11:11,462
- I'll come home.
- I'll take care of it.
202
00:11:11,629 --> 00:11:12,671
Are you sure?
203
00:11:12,922 --> 00:11:14,006
Yeah, don't worry.
204
00:11:15,925 --> 00:11:17,301
Hooters. Hooters. Hooters!
205
00:11:17,635 --> 00:11:19,678
- All right. Thanks a lot.
- Later.
206
00:11:22,766 --> 00:11:24,767
I'm gonna make another phone call.
207
00:11:25,185 --> 00:11:27,519
You want to come and sit down, pal?
208
00:11:30,398 --> 00:11:35,027
Or you can stand there.
Anything you want. I'll be a minute.
209
00:11:37,405 --> 00:11:40,115
Social Services
is closed today, Columbus Day.
210
00:11:40,408 --> 00:11:42,701
We'II be open tomorrow at 8 a.m.
211
00:11:43,203 --> 00:11:45,120
Columbus Day.
212
00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:49,124
Boy, I don't know what to tell you.
213
00:11:49,334 --> 00:11:51,710
Everything's gonna get
figured out tomorrow.
214
00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:54,338
Can you be a tough little guy
until then?
215
00:11:55,298 --> 00:11:56,298
Great.
216
00:11:57,217 --> 00:11:59,551
Do I need to get you a bottle
of formula or something?
217
00:11:59,719 --> 00:12:02,054
- No.
- What do you eat?
218
00:12:02,222 --> 00:12:03,555
Food.
219
00:12:03,973 --> 00:12:05,974
Yeah? I eat food too.
220
00:12:06,226 --> 00:12:08,352
What...? Come on.
221
00:12:11,523 --> 00:12:13,148
You need me to hold your hand?
222
00:12:13,441 --> 00:12:17,403
On Mondays, I go to Central Park
and watch rollerbladers fall down.
223
00:12:17,570 --> 00:12:19,738
- You into that?
- I don't know.
224
00:12:20,573 --> 00:12:22,324
Watch. This guy's humming.
225
00:12:22,534 --> 00:12:25,702
He's going down, he's going down,
he's going...!
226
00:12:28,081 --> 00:12:29,415
How old are you, anyways?
227
00:12:29,582 --> 00:12:31,708
- Five.
- Five?
228
00:12:32,043 --> 00:12:33,585
You wear a diaper?
229
00:12:33,795 --> 00:12:35,254
No.
230
00:12:36,589 --> 00:12:38,507
- You wipe your own ass then?
- Yes.
231
00:12:38,716 --> 00:12:41,009
You do? Good job. That's cool.
232
00:12:41,678 --> 00:12:44,847
Come on, fall down. Fall down. Yes!
Come on, damn it.
233
00:12:45,056 --> 00:12:46,723
You suck. You suck!
234
00:12:47,892 --> 00:12:49,268
Check this out.
235
00:13:02,866 --> 00:13:04,032
My God!
236
00:13:04,242 --> 00:13:07,244
There's a stick there.
Somebody should move it.
237
00:13:07,579 --> 00:13:10,664
All right now, what way
would you put that on?
238
00:13:10,874 --> 00:13:13,375
This Columbo, he pretends
to be stupid...
239
00:13:13,626 --> 00:13:15,419
...but he's really smart as a tack.
240
00:13:15,628 --> 00:13:16,920
Oh, yeah, he is.
241
00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:21,091
You put the vane on down there.
Then this boat comes up.
242
00:13:21,301 --> 00:13:23,385
I wipe my own ass.
243
00:13:24,220 --> 00:13:25,596
Me too.
244
00:13:28,057 --> 00:13:31,018
So, Mr. Ass Wiper,
what's this guy's name?
245
00:13:31,394 --> 00:13:32,853
Scuba Steve.
246
00:13:33,021 --> 00:13:35,189
Does he ever take his flippers off?
247
00:13:35,940 --> 00:13:37,191
What if he goes bowling?
248
00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:40,486
They don't make him wear bowling
shoes? He wears flippers?
249
00:13:40,778 --> 00:13:43,947
- Really?
- I had a doll like that at one time.
250
00:13:44,157 --> 00:13:46,783
But my cat, he bite his head off.
251
00:13:46,993 --> 00:13:48,368
What cat would do that?
252
00:13:48,536 --> 00:13:49,620
You calling me a liar?
253
00:13:49,829 --> 00:13:51,538
Hey, take it easy.
254
00:13:52,957 --> 00:13:54,082
Anyways...
255
00:13:54,292 --> 00:13:56,126
...Jets are playing tonight.
256
00:13:56,336 --> 00:13:59,129
We're gonna go to the Blarney Stone.
Wanna come?
257
00:13:59,464 --> 00:14:00,923
I've got more deliveries.
258
00:14:01,090 --> 00:14:03,717
Maybe you can also finish
the turkey on your lip.
259
00:14:03,927 --> 00:14:05,177
Right there.
260
00:14:10,266 --> 00:14:11,892
Let's crank up the Styx.
261
00:14:12,101 --> 00:14:13,727
No music during the game.
262
00:14:13,937 --> 00:14:17,147
- It's halftime. Relax, Mr. Herlihy.
- Goddamn Jets.
263
00:14:17,398 --> 00:14:19,316
What are you doing in here, cutie?
264
00:14:19,817 --> 00:14:21,443
Watching football.
265
00:14:21,653 --> 00:14:24,613
- Who do you want to win?
- The goddamn Jets.
266
00:14:25,823 --> 00:14:27,533
Have fun.
267
00:14:28,660 --> 00:14:32,788
Too bad you don't like girls.
I think you could've had her.
268
00:14:33,039 --> 00:14:35,332
- I'm thirsty.
- You're thirsty?
269
00:14:35,583 --> 00:14:38,460
- Are you allowed soda?
- I don't know.
270
00:14:38,628 --> 00:14:40,671
My mom always said
soda rots your teeth...
271
00:14:40,838 --> 00:14:43,131
...but you'll lose them
anyway, so rot on.
272
00:14:43,675 --> 00:14:45,842
- Can we get two root beers?
- Sure.
273
00:14:46,844 --> 00:14:51,181
When I graduated law school, we met
here every Monday to watch football.
274
00:14:52,559 --> 00:14:53,976
Who would meet you?
275
00:14:54,602 --> 00:14:56,061
My friends, Vanessa.
276
00:14:56,604 --> 00:14:58,605
Vanessa always rooted against
the team...
277
00:14:58,773 --> 00:15:00,816
...I wanted to win
just to bust my chops.
278
00:15:01,067 --> 00:15:04,611
But everybody's so busy with
their crap lately, no one comes.
279
00:15:04,821 --> 00:15:06,655
Like I'm not busy?
280
00:15:06,990 --> 00:15:10,450
Shut up or I'll smack you
through the wall like last Monday.
281
00:15:10,660 --> 00:15:13,829
Last Monday was a fluke.
Bring it on, woman.
282
00:15:17,500 --> 00:15:19,126
Anytime.
283
00:15:21,087 --> 00:15:22,504
He drinks a lot of soda.
284
00:15:27,176 --> 00:15:31,054
I'm telling you, buddy. Vanessa,
she's the one. I can't lose her.
285
00:15:31,222 --> 00:15:33,056
I'm not getting any handsomer.
286
00:15:33,224 --> 00:15:36,977
Every day I get a little bit older
and balder and fatter.
287
00:15:37,186 --> 00:15:39,187
- Fatter?
- At your age...
288
00:15:39,355 --> 00:15:41,648
...I could eat anything.
Wouldn't gain an ounce.
289
00:15:41,858 --> 00:15:45,485
Now, I have a chocolate shake,
my ass jiggles for a week.
290
00:15:45,695 --> 00:15:49,531
- Enjoy the metabolism while you got it.
- Metalobism?
291
00:15:50,908 --> 00:15:54,536
Good God, it's 2:30 in the morning.
You must be wrecked.
292
00:15:55,038 --> 00:15:58,540
Anyways, I had fun today.
Did you have fun?
293
00:15:59,250 --> 00:16:01,209
Yeah, you're all right.
294
00:16:02,128 --> 00:16:03,378
Have a good one.
295
00:16:04,464 --> 00:16:05,589
Sonny?
296
00:16:07,216 --> 00:16:09,217
Could I have a night-light?
297
00:16:09,427 --> 00:16:12,554
Night-light? I think I can
help you out. Hang on.
298
00:16:21,898 --> 00:16:22,898
Let's see here.
299
00:16:24,859 --> 00:16:26,735
There you go, all right?
300
00:16:27,403 --> 00:16:28,403
Sonny?
301
00:16:29,947 --> 00:16:31,448
Are you my dad?
302
00:16:34,285 --> 00:16:36,119
No, I'm not, but...
303
00:16:36,287 --> 00:16:39,456
...that Dad and Mom thing
we'll figure out in the morning.
304
00:16:41,584 --> 00:16:43,418
You just go to sleep.
305
00:16:45,088 --> 00:16:47,464
- Good night.
- Good night.
306
00:17:02,689 --> 00:17:04,439
Go get the can, okay?
307
00:17:04,607 --> 00:17:06,692
Go! Go! Go!
308
00:17:09,821 --> 00:17:11,988
I'm thinking about keeping the kid.
309
00:17:13,616 --> 00:17:14,950
Sonny.
310
00:17:15,118 --> 00:17:17,285
Remember when we went to
the pet store...
311
00:17:17,495 --> 00:17:21,498
...and you wanted that puppy,
but I reminded you about feeding it...
312
00:17:21,791 --> 00:17:23,792
...cleaning it
and toilet training it?
313
00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:26,920
This is kind of like that,
except with a human.
314
00:17:27,130 --> 00:17:30,507
I mean, I'm glad you had fun and all,
but this is big.
315
00:17:30,717 --> 00:17:34,136
I gotta do something big.
I think Vanessa will respect that.
316
00:17:34,303 --> 00:17:36,638
You think that since women
get pregnant...
317
00:17:36,806 --> 00:17:38,807
...to fix a troubled relationship...
318
00:17:39,016 --> 00:17:41,518
...why can't a guy adopt a kid
to do the same?
319
00:17:41,728 --> 00:17:45,355
I didn't think of it like that.
But yes, that's what I'm thinking.
320
00:17:45,648 --> 00:17:49,025
Sounds nuts to me, pal.
Do yourself a favor. Sleep on it.
321
00:17:49,277 --> 00:17:51,111
You're right.
Can I use your phone?
322
00:17:57,493 --> 00:17:59,035
Arthur Brooks speaking.
323
00:17:59,328 --> 00:18:01,037
How you doing?
Kevin Gerrity.
324
00:18:01,247 --> 00:18:02,664
Right on, Mr. Gerrity.
325
00:18:02,832 --> 00:18:04,166
We were expecting you.
326
00:18:04,333 --> 00:18:07,627
Do you still got a foster family
lined up for Julian?
327
00:18:07,795 --> 00:18:08,837
Yes, we do.
328
00:18:09,005 --> 00:18:11,882
I've decided to
take care of the little guy.
329
00:18:12,049 --> 00:18:13,842
Way to sleep on it, pal.
330
00:18:14,010 --> 00:18:16,845
You two want to get married,
I support that.
331
00:18:17,013 --> 00:18:21,183
When parents take the responsibility,
there's no bigger high for us.
332
00:18:21,350 --> 00:18:22,851
I'm psyched about it too.
333
00:18:23,019 --> 00:18:24,060
So that's it.
334
00:18:24,270 --> 00:18:26,271
Yep. Good luck
to you and your son.
335
00:18:27,482 --> 00:18:28,774
My son.
336
00:18:33,279 --> 00:18:34,404
Goddamn stick!
337
00:18:34,572 --> 00:18:36,072
That's my boy.
338
00:18:47,043 --> 00:18:48,460
Hey.
339
00:18:50,296 --> 00:18:51,588
Go back to sleep.
340
00:18:53,883 --> 00:18:57,427
Well, I'm going back to sleep.
Nighty-night.
341
00:18:58,054 --> 00:18:59,596
I wet my bed.
342
00:19:17,448 --> 00:19:19,366
Oh, God.
343
00:19:19,742 --> 00:19:22,118
That's a shitload of piss.
344
00:19:24,997 --> 00:19:26,623
Okay.
345
00:19:36,843 --> 00:19:38,593
There you go, all right?
346
00:19:38,845 --> 00:19:40,637
No more wet mess.
347
00:19:41,430 --> 00:19:45,100
Sleep, all right? Just try to sleep.
Stay asleep.
348
00:20:17,008 --> 00:20:18,884
Sit still!
349
00:20:19,468 --> 00:20:20,510
Lay!
350
00:20:28,311 --> 00:20:29,769
All right! I'm up!
351
00:20:29,979 --> 00:20:33,481
It smells like urine in this joint.
Good job.
352
00:20:34,483 --> 00:20:36,151
What're you doing there, boy?
353
00:20:36,402 --> 00:20:37,694
Making cereal.
354
00:20:37,904 --> 00:20:40,697
Oh, yeah? Why don't you
pour me a bowl?
355
00:20:45,828 --> 00:20:47,829
Or don't pour me a bowl.
Either way.
356
00:20:47,997 --> 00:20:50,832
I got it. I got it.
357
00:20:52,335 --> 00:20:53,835
We can fix this.
358
00:20:55,546 --> 00:20:57,547
It's not a big deal.
359
00:20:57,798 --> 00:20:59,424
Look. See?
360
00:20:59,634 --> 00:21:01,843
See how quick it goes away?
361
00:21:02,720 --> 00:21:04,054
Crybaby, come on.
362
00:21:04,513 --> 00:21:06,056
Don't worry about it, boy.
363
00:21:08,726 --> 00:21:10,936
Scuba Steve, damn you!
364
00:21:12,146 --> 00:21:14,648
You think that's funny,
me getting hurt?
365
00:21:19,236 --> 00:21:23,031
There's a bright side to being up
before 11: McDonald's breakfast.
366
00:21:23,199 --> 00:21:26,076
I haven't been up for that
in 10 years. You wanna go?
367
00:21:27,453 --> 00:21:29,329
Tie your shoes, we'll go. Hurry.
368
00:21:30,456 --> 00:21:33,375
It's like 12 blocks from here,
so tie quickly.
369
00:21:37,713 --> 00:21:39,464
Do you need help with that?
370
00:21:39,674 --> 00:21:41,257
I can do it.
371
00:21:43,052 --> 00:21:44,469
Let me do it.
372
00:21:47,765 --> 00:21:50,976
You loop it, you swoop it,
and you pull.
373
00:21:51,185 --> 00:21:54,270
You loop it, you swoop it, you pull.
374
00:21:54,522 --> 00:21:56,481
Good. Let's go. We're in a hurry.
375
00:21:56,983 --> 00:21:58,775
It's different for your generation.
376
00:21:59,026 --> 00:22:01,736
You've always had
McDonald's breakfast available.
377
00:22:01,904 --> 00:22:02,946
I have?
378
00:22:03,114 --> 00:22:06,241
When I was born, all we had were
the burgers and fries.
379
00:22:06,492 --> 00:22:09,911
Maybe the fish sandwich. I'm not sure.
I'll get back to you.
380
00:22:10,121 --> 00:22:11,413
What are you doing?
381
00:22:11,998 --> 00:22:13,915
Oh, yeah, the hand-holding thing.
382
00:22:15,084 --> 00:22:18,920
My dad took us to McDonald's
the first morning they had breakfast.
383
00:22:19,130 --> 00:22:22,632
Everybody was baffled.
"Are these sausages or hamburgers?"
384
00:22:22,800 --> 00:22:24,592
I have to go to the bathroom.
385
00:22:24,760 --> 00:22:26,928
We're gonna be there
in a minute.
386
00:22:27,138 --> 00:22:28,638
I gotta go now.
387
00:22:28,806 --> 00:22:30,515
Didn't you pee enough in bed?
388
00:22:31,600 --> 00:22:34,519
We only got nine minutes
to get there.
389
00:22:34,729 --> 00:22:37,772
But I gotta go to the bathroom.
390
00:22:38,024 --> 00:22:39,441
All right, let's go.
391
00:22:40,443 --> 00:22:42,610
Can my kid use the bathroom
for a minute?
392
00:22:42,778 --> 00:22:43,778
Customers only.
393
00:22:44,030 --> 00:22:46,114
He's just a kid.
We'll be in and out.
394
00:22:46,282 --> 00:22:47,657
That's not my problem.
395
00:22:47,908 --> 00:22:50,452
It's not your problem? All right.
396
00:22:50,745 --> 00:22:51,828
Come on.
397
00:22:54,331 --> 00:22:57,542
Here you are.
Your waiter will be right with you.
398
00:22:59,045 --> 00:23:00,462
I can't do it.
399
00:23:00,671 --> 00:23:02,964
What do you mean,
you can't do it? Just go.
400
00:23:03,299 --> 00:23:06,551
I'm scared. Could you do it too?
401
00:23:08,471 --> 00:23:09,637
All right.
402
00:23:12,558 --> 00:23:13,850
Here we go.
403
00:23:14,643 --> 00:23:16,102
And we're off.
404
00:23:18,272 --> 00:23:20,690
That's not too difficult, right?
405
00:23:21,067 --> 00:23:23,485
And we're both losing weight.
406
00:23:23,986 --> 00:23:27,113
Good job. We're gonna miss
breakfast. Let's go.
407
00:23:27,323 --> 00:23:28,865
Put it away.
408
00:23:32,203 --> 00:23:35,497
- Thanks, anyways.
- Sure thing. Anytime.
409
00:23:35,664 --> 00:23:37,332
Move your ass there, pee-boy.
410
00:23:37,583 --> 00:23:40,877
We only got five minutes,
five minutes. Now four.
411
00:23:41,087 --> 00:23:43,338
Come on. We're almost there.
412
00:23:43,714 --> 00:23:46,591
Hey, mister. Why are you
sitting on the ground?
413
00:23:46,967 --> 00:23:48,176
This is where I live.
414
00:23:48,344 --> 00:23:50,512
- We gotta get going.
- Why?
415
00:23:50,846 --> 00:23:54,224
In retrospect, I made some
bad choices after high school.
416
00:23:54,391 --> 00:23:56,309
- We gotta get going.
- Why?
417
00:23:56,519 --> 00:23:59,020
This was during the
so-called Disco Era...
418
00:23:59,188 --> 00:24:02,732
...but for me, it was more
the Doing Mushrooms Era.
419
00:24:02,900 --> 00:24:05,360
- We're gonna miss breakfast.
- Why?
420
00:24:05,528 --> 00:24:06,861
I never thought about that.
421
00:24:07,029 --> 00:24:09,614
I was never Mr. Popularity
in high school...
422
00:24:09,824 --> 00:24:12,367
...and I watched Fantasia a lot.
423
00:24:12,618 --> 00:24:14,202
- One day it clicked.
- Hey, yappy.
424
00:24:14,411 --> 00:24:16,704
If you end it,
you get an Egg McMuffin.
425
00:24:16,914 --> 00:24:19,040
How about a Sausage McMuffin
with hash browns?
426
00:24:19,208 --> 00:24:20,542
You got a deal.
427
00:24:22,128 --> 00:24:24,754
Look, look. He fell asleep.
Let's go.
428
00:24:25,506 --> 00:24:26,548
Let's go.
429
00:24:30,427 --> 00:24:33,054
Sausage McMuffin.
430
00:24:33,264 --> 00:24:34,597
Pardon me, sir.
431
00:24:34,765 --> 00:24:36,057
How you doing?
432
00:24:36,225 --> 00:24:37,767
What can I get for you?
433
00:24:37,935 --> 00:24:39,894
- What do you want?
- Cheerios.
434
00:24:40,062 --> 00:24:41,729
They don't got Cheerios.
435
00:24:42,565 --> 00:24:43,606
Lasagna.
436
00:24:43,774 --> 00:24:46,776
What's the matter?
We'll take hotcakes and sausage.
437
00:24:47,027 --> 00:24:49,070
Sorry. We stopped serving breakfast.
438
00:24:49,280 --> 00:24:51,239
We're four seconds late.
439
00:24:51,448 --> 00:24:54,909
You're 30 minutes and four seconds
late. Breakfast stops at 10:30.
440
00:24:55,077 --> 00:24:56,161
Horseshit!
441
00:24:59,665 --> 00:25:00,790
Don't cry. Sorry.
442
00:25:01,041 --> 00:25:02,917
I was cursing at the lady, not you.
443
00:25:03,252 --> 00:25:04,252
Nice parenting.
444
00:25:04,461 --> 00:25:06,963
Thanks. Are you my therapist?
Take a walk.
445
00:25:07,214 --> 00:25:08,756
Do you want a Happy Meal?
446
00:25:08,966 --> 00:25:10,550
You got a Happy Meal?
447
00:25:10,759 --> 00:25:12,760
Will somebody get
the kid a Happy Meal?!
448
00:25:13,304 --> 00:25:14,429
Relax.
449
00:25:14,680 --> 00:25:15,972
Where's my Egg McMuffin?
450
00:25:16,223 --> 00:25:18,141
Breakfast is over at 10:30.
451
00:25:18,309 --> 00:25:21,269
- Really? I thought it was 11.
- I thought that too.
452
00:25:22,771 --> 00:25:24,564
Total mind blower.
453
00:25:24,773 --> 00:25:26,983
Will you just relax? Here.
454
00:25:27,234 --> 00:25:28,943
What do you want me to do?
455
00:25:29,195 --> 00:25:32,322
You're gonna meet Vanessa tonight.
You'll like her.
456
00:25:32,698 --> 00:25:35,283
You wanna see me get hurt?
That'll cheer you up?
457
00:25:36,118 --> 00:25:37,202
All right.
458
00:25:42,833 --> 00:25:44,709
You think that's funny?
459
00:25:46,003 --> 00:25:47,420
Good. No more crying.
460
00:25:47,588 --> 00:25:48,630
Are you okay?
461
00:25:48,964 --> 00:25:50,840
Next time, kill me.
462
00:26:06,982 --> 00:26:08,024
Let's do it, Rangers.
463
00:26:08,275 --> 00:26:10,777
- Rangers against
the Tampa Bay Lightning.
464
00:26:10,986 --> 00:26:12,320
And at this stage...
465
00:26:12,529 --> 00:26:16,366
...it's as close as you can get
to a must-win game for the Rangers.
466
00:26:16,533 --> 00:26:18,159
Or they'll fall behind...
467
00:26:18,369 --> 00:26:20,328
- How you doing?
- How you doing?
468
00:26:21,038 --> 00:26:23,248
- You like hockey?
- You like hockey?
469
00:26:23,749 --> 00:26:27,252
This is a big, important game.
470
00:26:27,670 --> 00:26:30,046
- Cut the crap.
- Cut the crap.
471
00:26:31,674 --> 00:26:35,009
I'm serious. Don't do that.
472
00:26:35,261 --> 00:26:37,053
How much wood
would a woodchuck chuck...
473
00:26:37,263 --> 00:26:39,722
...if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
474
00:26:39,890 --> 00:26:41,516
That's what I thought. Shut up.
475
00:26:43,394 --> 00:26:44,769
Don't you take naps?
476
00:26:44,979 --> 00:26:46,062
Sometimes.
477
00:26:46,272 --> 00:26:47,522
Go take a nap.
478
00:26:47,773 --> 00:26:49,691
I'm too hungry to sleep.
479
00:26:50,526 --> 00:26:52,277
You want some food?
480
00:27:05,291 --> 00:27:07,375
Having a kid is great...
481
00:27:07,710 --> 00:27:12,005
...as long as his eyes are closed
and he's not moving or speaking.
482
00:27:34,570 --> 00:27:36,404
He's taken down! Penalty shot!
483
00:27:42,244 --> 00:27:44,078
How you doing? You sleepwalking?
484
00:27:44,872 --> 00:27:46,914
Why don't you go back sleepy?
Sleepy.
485
00:27:47,124 --> 00:27:48,750
Keep napping. What's this?
486
00:27:48,917 --> 00:27:49,959
Kangaroo song.
487
00:27:50,210 --> 00:27:53,880
That's terrific. And we'll watch this
after the game, okay?
488
00:27:54,089 --> 00:27:57,425
But after my nap,
I always watch the kangaroo song.
489
00:27:57,760 --> 00:28:01,596
It's overtime, and there's
a penalty shot about to take place.
490
00:28:01,847 --> 00:28:02,889
It happens every 10 years...
491
00:28:03,098 --> 00:28:05,099
Kangaroo song. Kangaroo song!
492
00:28:08,145 --> 00:28:10,730
All right!
493
00:28:11,732 --> 00:28:13,858
God! You were normal yesterday.
494
00:28:25,871 --> 00:28:27,663
I can't take this.
Are you serious?
495
00:28:27,915 --> 00:28:29,415
Come and play
496
00:28:31,794 --> 00:28:33,586
What do you say?
497
00:28:33,796 --> 00:28:35,171
Douche-bag kangaroo.
498
00:28:38,801 --> 00:28:40,426
Are you all hopped out?
499
00:28:44,181 --> 00:28:46,682
I don't know what to do.
Hopefully Vanessa will.
500
00:28:46,892 --> 00:28:50,311
I think she's back.
If she's not back, we'll wait for her.
501
00:28:50,521 --> 00:28:52,021
Get your coat. Clean up.
502
00:28:53,690 --> 00:28:56,776
Oh, God. You don't
have to pee, do you?
503
00:28:57,319 --> 00:28:59,445
- Do you swear?
- I swear.
504
00:29:01,323 --> 00:29:02,657
How come you're not going?
505
00:29:02,825 --> 00:29:06,619
I don't have to go. Only you and
my grandfather go every 30 seconds.
506
00:29:06,829 --> 00:29:09,705
Let's hurry it up, all right?
I'm keeping you company.
507
00:29:11,667 --> 00:29:14,669
He'll write your name on the wall.
Mind your business.
508
00:29:16,296 --> 00:29:18,423
Let's go. Let's go.
509
00:29:19,049 --> 00:29:21,509
Why do I need to meet this lady?
510
00:29:21,718 --> 00:29:23,970
- Now it is your problem.
- Thank you.
511
00:29:24,179 --> 00:29:26,139
She's that lady I was
telling you about.
512
00:29:26,348 --> 00:29:28,933
She's gonna be a big part
of your life.
513
00:29:29,184 --> 00:29:32,186
I'm scared. What if she's not nice?
514
00:29:32,354 --> 00:29:33,646
Look.
515
00:29:34,189 --> 00:29:37,692
See these right here?
These are magic sunglasses, okay?
516
00:29:37,943 --> 00:29:40,194
If you're afraid, put them on
to become invisible.
517
00:29:40,446 --> 00:29:42,321
Really? Nobody can see me?
518
00:29:42,531 --> 00:29:43,698
Put them on.
519
00:29:47,828 --> 00:29:49,203
Sonny, I'm right here.
520
00:29:49,371 --> 00:29:51,456
Oh, the glasses. I couldn't see you.
521
00:29:51,665 --> 00:29:55,376
Keep those on. No one can notice you
until you decide they can.
522
00:29:55,586 --> 00:29:57,253
- Okay.
- Let's go.
523
00:30:00,507 --> 00:30:01,883
I'm still right here.
524
00:30:02,092 --> 00:30:04,260
Okay, all right, the glasses.
525
00:30:07,222 --> 00:30:09,015
- Hey.
- Hi.
526
00:30:09,224 --> 00:30:10,349
Welcome back.
527
00:30:10,559 --> 00:30:14,020
- Who's that?
- Who's who? He's invisible.
528
00:30:15,731 --> 00:30:18,232
- Can I come in?
- Sure.
529
00:30:18,901 --> 00:30:20,902
Any invisible people out here...
530
00:30:21,111 --> 00:30:23,112
...feel free to come in, okay?
531
00:30:25,741 --> 00:30:28,618
Sonny, I don't really know
what's going on right now.
532
00:30:28,869 --> 00:30:31,871
- We should talk...
- You said I got some thinking to do?
533
00:30:32,080 --> 00:30:33,414
So I did it.
534
00:30:33,582 --> 00:30:37,418
Just because I don't have a job
doesn't mean I don't wanna move on.
535
00:30:37,586 --> 00:30:39,921
Instead of saying that,
I figured I'd show you.
536
00:30:40,130 --> 00:30:42,548
- Before you say anything...
- Look at that.
537
00:30:42,758 --> 00:30:44,258
He took his sunglasses off.
538
00:30:44,426 --> 00:30:46,552
He wants you to see him.
He likes you.
539
00:30:47,095 --> 00:30:48,137
Julian, come here.
540
00:30:49,431 --> 00:30:50,932
Come here, pal.
541
00:30:51,225 --> 00:30:52,600
Vanessa...
542
00:30:52,768 --> 00:30:55,770
...I want you to meet Julian, my son.
543
00:30:56,772 --> 00:30:58,314
Our son. I adopted him.
544
00:30:59,775 --> 00:31:01,609
I don't know what to say.
545
00:31:01,818 --> 00:31:03,152
Don't say anything.
546
00:31:06,782 --> 00:31:08,115
Is someone in the bathroom?
547
00:31:10,452 --> 00:31:11,536
Why is the door shut?
548
00:31:11,745 --> 00:31:14,080
- I don't know.
- You don't?
549
00:31:15,749 --> 00:31:18,501
- I don't know.
- Sonny.
550
00:31:20,837 --> 00:31:22,171
I can't believe this.
551
00:31:23,131 --> 00:31:25,967
- Hey. Open up.
- Sonny.
552
00:31:26,134 --> 00:31:29,345
Hello. Open the door!
553
00:31:30,305 --> 00:31:33,558
- Is everything okay?
- Oh, my God.
554
00:31:34,059 --> 00:31:36,060
I'm sorry. I was freaking out there.
555
00:31:36,270 --> 00:31:37,853
- I'm Sonny.
- Sid.
556
00:31:38,105 --> 00:31:42,066
I had an attack of paranoia. I thought
you were sleeping with my girl.
557
00:31:42,276 --> 00:31:43,651
I am.
558
00:31:43,860 --> 00:31:45,611
What's that?
559
00:31:46,196 --> 00:31:47,321
I am.
560
00:31:47,573 --> 00:31:50,992
That's what I was trying to tell you
before. I found someone.
561
00:31:51,201 --> 00:31:53,160
- This old guy?
- Sid.
562
00:31:53,328 --> 00:31:55,162
He's already achieved so much...
563
00:31:55,372 --> 00:31:58,332
...and yet he's still goal-oriented
and still focused.
564
00:31:58,584 --> 00:32:00,084
And he has a five-year plan.
565
00:32:00,294 --> 00:32:01,794
What is it? "Don't die"?
566
00:32:02,671 --> 00:32:06,841
I can't believe this. We got
a family now. This is what you wanted.
567
00:32:07,009 --> 00:32:09,844
You surprising me with a kid
that you adopted...
568
00:32:10,012 --> 00:32:12,346
...wasn't what I wanted.
- I did this for you.
569
00:32:12,598 --> 00:32:14,807
You wanted me
to be more responsible.
570
00:32:14,975 --> 00:32:16,475
I can't raise this kid alone.
571
00:32:16,685 --> 00:32:20,021
You remind me of my grandson.
You don't think things through.
572
00:32:20,230 --> 00:32:23,107
Hey, Old Man River, zip it
or I'll break your hip.
573
00:32:23,400 --> 00:32:25,401
- I'd like to see you try it.
- Shut up.
574
00:32:25,611 --> 00:32:28,195
How'd you misconstrue
the situation so badly?
575
00:32:28,405 --> 00:32:30,114
I don't know.
576
00:32:31,408 --> 00:32:33,909
Deep down you must've known
this day was coming.
577
00:32:35,370 --> 00:32:37,663
You made the biggest mistake
of your life.
578
00:32:37,873 --> 00:32:40,041
I know you'll be missing me
when you got...
579
00:32:40,250 --> 00:32:42,585
...that big, white, wrinkly...
580
00:32:42,753 --> 00:32:44,337
...body on top of you...
581
00:32:44,546 --> 00:32:46,380
...with his loose skin...
582
00:32:46,632 --> 00:32:48,424
...and old balls.
583
00:32:48,634 --> 00:32:50,259
Gross.
584
00:32:57,934 --> 00:33:01,187
Excuse me. How you doing?
I'm Kevin Gerrity.
585
00:33:01,396 --> 00:33:04,190
I got an emergency problem.
Is Arthur Brooks around?
586
00:33:04,399 --> 00:33:05,900
I'll go get him for you.
587
00:33:06,068 --> 00:33:09,278
Stay where I can see you.
I gotta talk to this guy.
588
00:33:09,446 --> 00:33:10,946
Mr. Gerrity?
589
00:33:11,365 --> 00:33:13,074
- Arthur Brooks.
- How are you?
590
00:33:13,241 --> 00:33:14,575
I need to speak with you.
591
00:33:14,785 --> 00:33:16,869
I didn't tell you to come here, did I?
592
00:33:17,079 --> 00:33:19,121
I was gonna mail you
the paperwork.
593
00:33:19,289 --> 00:33:21,248
It's like the opposite of that.
594
00:33:21,708 --> 00:33:23,668
Look, I can't manage this kid.
595
00:33:23,960 --> 00:33:26,796
I ain't a good father.
I made a big mistake.
596
00:33:27,172 --> 00:33:30,591
- Mistake?
- I had a mother lined up for him...
597
00:33:30,801 --> 00:33:33,469
...but she's banging
the Pepperidge Farm guy.
598
00:33:33,679 --> 00:33:35,930
The kid won't stop
peeing and throwing up.
599
00:33:36,098 --> 00:33:38,808
He's like a cocker spaniel.
I just...
600
00:33:39,059 --> 00:33:41,310
He'd be better off
with his natural mother.
601
00:33:42,104 --> 00:33:44,939
Well, she passed away last night,
Mr. Gerrity.
602
00:33:45,107 --> 00:33:47,274
She had cancer.
She must have sensed...
603
00:33:47,442 --> 00:33:49,485
...that her time was running short.
604
00:33:49,778 --> 00:33:52,446
She wanted her son to be with
the natural father.
605
00:33:55,409 --> 00:33:56,701
Loop.
606
00:33:57,285 --> 00:33:58,327
Pull.
607
00:33:59,287 --> 00:34:01,080
If you don't wanna take care
of him...
608
00:34:01,289 --> 00:34:04,834
...we'll take him. But he'll have to
chill in a group home.
609
00:34:05,001 --> 00:34:06,794
Group home? Like an orphanage?
610
00:34:06,962 --> 00:34:08,462
We don't call them that.
611
00:34:11,299 --> 00:34:14,301
Look, I did it.
Loop, swoop and pull.
612
00:34:14,469 --> 00:34:15,511
You did do it.
613
00:34:15,721 --> 00:34:17,138
Congratulations, kid.
614
00:34:17,305 --> 00:34:18,973
I showed him that.
615
00:34:19,141 --> 00:34:21,600
Why don't you
go back over there, okay?
616
00:34:22,477 --> 00:34:25,146
- I'll call the Heatherton Home...
- Let's do this.
617
00:34:25,313 --> 00:34:28,774
I'll hang on to the kid
until you find him a new family.
618
00:34:28,984 --> 00:34:32,319
I don't know. I gotta watch out
for the kid's best interest.
619
00:34:32,529 --> 00:34:34,822
You said yourself you
were a bogus dad.
620
00:34:34,990 --> 00:34:37,199
He's better off with me
than in an orphanage.
621
00:34:37,367 --> 00:34:40,202
I don't wanna put him in a home
any more than you do.
622
00:34:40,370 --> 00:34:43,247
Why don't we pretend you
didn't even come in here?
623
00:34:43,457 --> 00:34:46,375
I'll give you a shout
when I line up a family.
624
00:34:46,543 --> 00:34:47,835
- That's good.
- Later.
625
00:34:48,044 --> 00:34:49,879
Just don't make me regret this.
626
00:34:50,630 --> 00:34:52,131
Where are we going now?
627
00:34:52,340 --> 00:34:56,510
I gotta make a phone call.
Just stay right here, all right?
628
00:35:01,892 --> 00:35:04,518
- This is a collect call from:
- Your baby boy.
629
00:35:04,770 --> 00:35:07,688
- To accept charges, say, "Yes."
- Yeah, I'll accept.
630
00:35:07,856 --> 00:35:09,857
Dad, how's it going?
How's Florida?
631
00:35:10,192 --> 00:35:13,652
Not too bad. Your mother got
a sunburn playing tennis.
632
00:35:13,862 --> 00:35:16,822
- I got some interesting news.
- Oh, yeah? What?
633
00:35:17,032 --> 00:35:18,741
Kind of adopted a kid.
634
00:35:18,909 --> 00:35:20,075
What do you mean?
635
00:35:20,327 --> 00:35:23,245
I'm talking about
you being a grandfather.
636
00:35:23,413 --> 00:35:25,289
Who the hell would give you a kid?
637
00:35:25,499 --> 00:35:26,916
Social Services.
638
00:35:27,083 --> 00:35:29,502
You idiot. You better give
that kid back.
639
00:35:29,711 --> 00:35:31,337
His mother's...
640
00:35:31,588 --> 00:35:32,797
Hang on.
641
00:35:33,006 --> 00:35:35,007
Go play with them pigeons, buddy.
642
00:35:35,342 --> 00:35:38,427
I tried to give him back.
I just can't. All right?
643
00:35:38,678 --> 00:35:40,095
I need your help.
644
00:35:40,388 --> 00:35:44,016
I'm in a bad way. Vanessa dumped
me. I don't know what I'm doing.
645
00:35:44,226 --> 00:35:46,018
You're damn right.
646
00:35:46,228 --> 00:35:48,020
The kid is always around.
647
00:35:48,230 --> 00:35:50,397
He never leaves me alone.
648
00:35:50,565 --> 00:35:53,859
You'd think he'd want some privacy.
I'm in deep shit.
649
00:35:54,069 --> 00:35:56,904
Give that kid back before
you ruin both your lives.
650
00:35:57,072 --> 00:35:58,322
I appreciate that.
651
00:35:58,532 --> 00:36:00,616
He's better off living in a dumpster.
652
00:36:00,867 --> 00:36:02,576
I'll be a better father than you!
653
00:36:02,744 --> 00:36:05,079
Lmpossible!
All you care about is yourself!
654
00:36:05,247 --> 00:36:08,707
Yeah? No, I care about you
saving money on this call!
655
00:36:14,089 --> 00:36:15,422
Let's eat.
656
00:36:16,925 --> 00:36:18,968
The Vanessa thing did not work out.
657
00:36:19,219 --> 00:36:22,096
She lost her damn mind.
That wasn't your fault, though, okay?
658
00:36:22,264 --> 00:36:23,931
Okay.
659
00:36:24,558 --> 00:36:26,141
I know when you first got here...
660
00:36:26,351 --> 00:36:28,602
...you thought you were gonna
meet your dad.
661
00:36:28,854 --> 00:36:31,146
But I don't think
that's gonna happen.
662
00:36:31,398 --> 00:36:33,774
- Why?
- I don't know.
663
00:36:34,234 --> 00:36:36,944
But, buddy, real dads
aren't always that great.
664
00:36:37,153 --> 00:36:39,113
I got one and he's
out of his mind.
665
00:36:39,281 --> 00:36:43,158
He tells me what to do. He never lets
me figure stuff out on my own.
666
00:36:43,368 --> 00:36:46,620
A lot of dads are like that.
That's why people grow up nuts.
667
00:36:47,455 --> 00:36:48,873
Look at this guy.
668
00:36:49,082 --> 00:36:52,918
He was probably a nice boy like you.
Then his dad messed his mind up.
669
00:36:53,128 --> 00:36:54,628
Who won the Jets game?
670
00:36:54,796 --> 00:36:55,838
Who cares?
671
00:36:56,006 --> 00:36:58,299
Let it go.
He can't control you anymore.
672
00:36:58,466 --> 00:36:59,508
What do you mean?
673
00:36:59,801 --> 00:37:02,011
- You know.
- You're a loser.
674
00:37:02,304 --> 00:37:04,889
You're mad at your dad, not at me!
I forgive you!
675
00:37:05,390 --> 00:37:08,017
I am. I am. I hate my father.
676
00:37:08,393 --> 00:37:11,937
I don't want it to be like that.
I don't wanna control you.
677
00:37:12,314 --> 00:37:15,316
- You even like your name?
- I guess.
678
00:37:15,525 --> 00:37:17,693
You guess? Shouldn't you like
your name?
679
00:37:17,903 --> 00:37:20,487
Lt'll be your name
the rest of your life.
680
00:37:20,697 --> 00:37:21,947
What do you want?
681
00:37:24,034 --> 00:37:25,618
Frankenstein.
682
00:37:25,827 --> 00:37:29,038
I can deal with that.
I'll call you Frankenstein.
683
00:37:29,289 --> 00:37:31,332
Frankenstein, you gonna play
in the puddle?
684
00:37:31,499 --> 00:37:34,793
Go ahead. From now on, you do
whatever you wanna do.
685
00:37:35,003 --> 00:37:37,338
I'll show you some cool shit
along the way.
686
00:37:37,505 --> 00:37:39,131
That's what it's all about.
687
00:37:41,009 --> 00:37:43,177
Stay in front of it.
Don't be scared.
688
00:37:43,345 --> 00:37:45,220
It's coming right at you.
689
00:37:45,722 --> 00:37:46,805
Okay. All right.
690
00:37:47,015 --> 00:37:49,433
You're picking your head up.
Don't do that.
691
00:37:50,936 --> 00:37:52,561
Is this okay?
692
00:37:52,729 --> 00:37:54,563
That's what you wanna wear?
693
00:37:55,523 --> 00:37:56,941
That's okay with me then.
694
00:37:57,150 --> 00:37:59,652
Good luck walking down the street.
695
00:38:01,363 --> 00:38:03,072
Way to block it. Stay with it.
696
00:38:03,239 --> 00:38:05,449
You're the next Willie Randolph.
697
00:38:15,460 --> 00:38:18,337
Chief Jay Strongbow
used to do a sleeper hold.
698
00:38:18,546 --> 00:38:19,755
Put your arm under here.
699
00:38:19,965 --> 00:38:24,385
Lift this arm, okay? Slide under
and try to lock wrists.
700
00:38:24,552 --> 00:38:26,095
Let me show you. Watch.
701
00:38:26,346 --> 00:38:28,889
Throw him into the ropes
and he comes back...
702
00:38:29,724 --> 00:38:32,059
Get him. Get him. Lock him up.
703
00:38:32,268 --> 00:38:33,686
Lock wrists.
704
00:38:34,062 --> 00:38:35,604
You bring him down slow.
705
00:38:36,106 --> 00:38:37,564
Apply pressure.
706
00:38:37,774 --> 00:38:39,400
He's going to sleep now.
707
00:38:42,237 --> 00:38:44,071
See, he's out.
708
00:38:54,499 --> 00:38:55,624
Wake up.
709
00:39:01,631 --> 00:39:04,591
You'll be the only kid your age
with a slingshot.
710
00:39:05,051 --> 00:39:08,429
Go have some fun. Shoot a few
beer cans or something.
711
00:39:12,142 --> 00:39:13,434
You like that?
712
00:39:18,523 --> 00:39:19,982
Sonny, Sonny, come here!
713
00:39:20,150 --> 00:39:22,151
What is it? What's the matter?
714
00:39:28,074 --> 00:39:29,658
Let me have that.
715
00:39:30,744 --> 00:39:33,662
Go to your room. I think.
Or do whatever you want.
716
00:39:34,664 --> 00:39:36,832
It's gonna be fun. You nervous?
717
00:39:37,042 --> 00:39:39,293
No? You're excited, aren't you?
718
00:39:39,544 --> 00:39:42,046
Let's go. Up, up, up.
719
00:39:43,548 --> 00:39:45,549
Here comes some candy.
720
00:39:48,303 --> 00:39:50,137
How you doing?
721
00:39:50,638 --> 00:39:53,098
Happy Halloween!
We got a first-timer.
722
00:39:57,645 --> 00:39:59,063
Do the right thing, buddy.
723
00:39:59,272 --> 00:40:01,440
We want some candy!
724
00:40:05,945 --> 00:40:08,447
Hang on right here for a second.
Don't move.
725
00:40:23,171 --> 00:40:24,671
Yeah, that's it.
726
00:40:26,091 --> 00:40:28,008
Yeah, CDs. You like that?
727
00:40:29,385 --> 00:40:31,887
He's not happy. What else you got?
728
00:40:34,099 --> 00:40:36,100
Okay, that's good. Trick-or-treat.
729
00:40:38,394 --> 00:40:40,395
- Say, "Happy Halloween."
- Happy Halloween.
730
00:40:40,647 --> 00:40:42,648
Thank you.
731
00:40:42,899 --> 00:40:45,400
Next year, be prepared, moron.
732
00:40:48,738 --> 00:40:50,364
What's with the cummerbund?
733
00:40:50,615 --> 00:40:52,366
I let him wear whatever he wants.
734
00:40:52,617 --> 00:40:54,076
Those boots are the best.
735
00:40:54,244 --> 00:40:56,120
I think they're Kevin's.
736
00:40:56,412 --> 00:40:59,706
I'll have a hot dog with
the mustard and a knish.
737
00:40:59,874 --> 00:41:01,416
Frankenstein, what do you want?
738
00:41:01,668 --> 00:41:03,127
Thirty packets of ketchup.
739
00:41:03,336 --> 00:41:05,712
All right. Thirty packets of ketchup.
740
00:41:07,423 --> 00:41:08,632
Nice cut, pal.
741
00:41:10,718 --> 00:41:11,718
Frankenstein.
742
00:41:12,137 --> 00:41:14,513
Do that thing I taught you
the other day.
743
00:41:21,146 --> 00:41:24,439
It took him 20 minutes to learn that.
He's quick. He's smart.
744
00:41:24,649 --> 00:41:26,692
- And he loves ketchup.
- He does.
745
00:41:26,901 --> 00:41:29,278
This is a whole new school
of child raising.
746
00:41:29,529 --> 00:41:32,906
You give him options, not orders.
Let him make the decision.
747
00:41:33,074 --> 00:41:34,283
You're a pioneer.
748
00:41:34,450 --> 00:41:37,452
- So you two just chill out all day?
- Basically.
749
00:41:37,704 --> 00:41:41,123
Hung out on the monkey bars.
The kid did eight chin-ups.
750
00:41:41,291 --> 00:41:43,792
I can't even do one
with these scrawny arms.
751
00:41:44,043 --> 00:41:46,170
They're not scrawny. They're nice.
752
00:41:47,088 --> 00:41:49,256
What do you wanna do tomorrow?
753
00:41:49,424 --> 00:41:51,175
I wanna go to school.
754
00:41:51,384 --> 00:41:54,803
I don't force him, he makes
the right decision. Way to go.
755
00:41:54,971 --> 00:41:57,806
We'll enroll you on Monday.
Enjoy the weekend.
756
00:41:57,974 --> 00:41:59,266
Do the thing again.
757
00:42:06,816 --> 00:42:09,693
That one touched the ground.
758
00:42:09,903 --> 00:42:10,986
That was awesome!
759
00:42:11,237 --> 00:42:12,571
Good job.
760
00:42:16,242 --> 00:42:19,328
Help me! Help me!
761
00:42:20,079 --> 00:42:22,497
Please help me.
I don't know where I live.
762
00:42:22,749 --> 00:42:25,000
This isn't a big problem.
763
00:42:25,210 --> 00:42:27,419
We'll find your parents.
764
00:42:27,712 --> 00:42:29,922
- What's your name?
- Frankenstein.
765
00:42:30,131 --> 00:42:32,132
- Frankenstein. Okay.
- There you are.
766
00:42:32,342 --> 00:42:34,468
There you are. Are you okay, buddy?
767
00:42:35,470 --> 00:42:37,471
I turn my head and he disappeared.
768
00:42:37,639 --> 00:42:40,474
Don't you ever do that to me again.
Don't do that.
769
00:42:40,934 --> 00:42:43,644
Thank you for being sweet
to my little boy.
770
00:42:43,853 --> 00:42:46,521
- You're welcome, Sonny.
- Sonny?
771
00:42:46,814 --> 00:42:49,983
I think my sister, Corinne,
is engaged to your roommate.
772
00:42:50,151 --> 00:42:52,986
Your sister's Corinne? That sucks.
773
00:42:53,154 --> 00:42:55,989
Yeah, I'm up from D.C.
I was at that party...
774
00:42:56,241 --> 00:42:58,825
...where we wasted
the good surprise on you.
775
00:42:58,993 --> 00:43:00,118
Sorry about that.
776
00:43:00,662 --> 00:43:02,371
So, what, you have a son now?
777
00:43:02,622 --> 00:43:05,499
I'm not his dad.
I'm more of a father-figure type...
778
00:43:05,750 --> 00:43:08,543
...until Social Services
can get another family.
779
00:43:08,753 --> 00:43:10,837
At which point,
you'll find a new way...
780
00:43:11,047 --> 00:43:13,882
...to initiate conversations
with girls in the park.
781
00:43:14,133 --> 00:43:15,842
Yeah, that's correct.
782
00:43:16,552 --> 00:43:17,594
Hey!
783
00:43:19,180 --> 00:43:20,389
Good job, buddy!
784
00:43:20,765 --> 00:43:22,140
He's peeing on his own.
785
00:43:22,350 --> 00:43:23,976
Keep it flowing! That's it!
786
00:43:24,185 --> 00:43:26,270
Go! Go!
787
00:43:26,688 --> 00:43:29,273
So does Corinne's sister
have a name?
788
00:43:29,774 --> 00:43:33,402
- It's Layla.
- Layla? I like your song.
789
00:43:34,362 --> 00:43:35,654
Could you do me a favor?
790
00:43:35,863 --> 00:43:37,322
Could you hang out with me?
791
00:43:37,532 --> 00:43:40,200
He'll think he's a failure
if he couldn't get me a date.
792
00:43:40,410 --> 00:43:41,576
I really can't.
793
00:43:42,787 --> 00:43:44,579
I have a ton of work to do.
794
00:43:44,789 --> 00:43:46,915
I see. Hang on a second.
795
00:43:47,083 --> 00:43:48,292
Come here.
796
00:43:52,380 --> 00:43:56,508
Layla, if you don't come over
to Sonny's apartment tonight...
797
00:43:56,718 --> 00:43:59,511
...there's a good chance
I'll develop a stutter.
798
00:44:01,014 --> 00:44:04,099
P-P-P-Please don't do this to me.
799
00:44:04,726 --> 00:44:07,102
- That is so cheap.
- What?
800
00:44:14,360 --> 00:44:16,570
So I'm working in a tollbooth now.
801
00:44:16,738 --> 00:44:19,114
I originally wanted to be
a male model...
802
00:44:19,365 --> 00:44:22,576
...but I'm not very good-looking,
so that didn't work out.
803
00:44:22,744 --> 00:44:24,244
I'm sorry to hear that.
804
00:44:24,454 --> 00:44:26,204
I'm all right. I'm recovering.
805
00:44:26,414 --> 00:44:29,124
This is my favorite part
of the song right here.
806
00:44:32,587 --> 00:44:34,755
Better keep it down low.
The kid's gonna wake up.
807
00:44:34,922 --> 00:44:36,798
Sonny!
808
00:44:36,966 --> 00:44:38,467
Too late.
809
00:44:38,634 --> 00:44:40,761
Okay. Just hang out a little bit.
810
00:44:40,928 --> 00:44:43,722
I'll be right back.
Don't go sneaking out.
811
00:44:45,475 --> 00:44:48,769
- What are you doing?
- You forgot to say good night.
812
00:44:48,936 --> 00:44:50,103
What do you mean?
813
00:44:50,355 --> 00:44:52,939
I can't go to sleep
until you say good night.
814
00:44:53,149 --> 00:44:55,776
I didn't know that.
I'm sorry. Good night.
815
00:44:56,277 --> 00:44:57,944
Go to sleep now, all right?
816
00:44:58,112 --> 00:44:59,613
What'd we learn about girls?
817
00:44:59,781 --> 00:45:03,325
Initiating the conversation
is half the battle.
818
00:45:03,493 --> 00:45:05,786
Bingo. Now sleep, okay?
819
00:45:13,169 --> 00:45:16,380
I gave him NyQuil.
He should be out for the night.
820
00:45:16,923 --> 00:45:21,134
This is Styx. They've been
my favorite band since I was 12.
821
00:45:21,302 --> 00:45:22,469
You're kidding me.
822
00:45:22,637 --> 00:45:25,389
No, I can't help it.
I just love them.
823
00:45:25,598 --> 00:45:27,391
My friends make fun of me.
824
00:45:27,683 --> 00:45:31,103
My friends make fun of me too.
I've seen them 25 times.
825
00:45:31,312 --> 00:45:34,022
Tommy Shaw, when I was 16,
I was at the concert...
826
00:45:34,273 --> 00:45:36,483
...and he reached down,
pulled me on stage.
827
00:45:36,901 --> 00:45:40,028
- I did the robot voice for "Mr. Roboto."
- Really?
828
00:45:40,321 --> 00:45:42,030
No, I made that up. I'm sorry.
829
00:45:42,198 --> 00:45:44,032
That would've been cool, right?
830
00:45:44,325 --> 00:45:46,201
My cousin's friends
with their drummer...
831
00:45:46,411 --> 00:45:48,870
...so when they come to town,
we go to dinner...
832
00:45:49,038 --> 00:45:51,289
...and they tell us stories
from the road.
833
00:45:51,499 --> 00:45:54,000
- Really?
- No, I made that up again too.
834
00:45:54,168 --> 00:45:55,836
I'm sorry.
835
00:45:56,212 --> 00:45:59,798
You're not attracted to, like,
60-year-old guys, are you?
836
00:45:59,966 --> 00:46:03,552
- No.
- Yeah, I don't like them either.
837
00:46:05,847 --> 00:46:07,931
I can't sleep.
838
00:46:09,058 --> 00:46:10,684
Okay.
839
00:46:11,227 --> 00:46:12,519
He can't sleep.
840
00:46:12,728 --> 00:46:16,815
So the rabbit ran across the street...
841
00:46:17,024 --> 00:46:20,152
...because he thought
he saw some carrots.
842
00:46:20,361 --> 00:46:22,571
But when he got across the street...
843
00:46:22,822 --> 00:46:25,740
...it turned out they weren't carrots,
they were peanuts.
844
00:46:25,992 --> 00:46:27,742
Peanuts?
845
00:46:29,036 --> 00:46:31,830
The peanuts belonged to a squirrel...
846
00:46:32,039 --> 00:46:35,375
...who had taken them home
from a baseball game.
847
00:46:35,543 --> 00:46:38,336
And then the rabbit
thought to himself...
848
00:46:38,754 --> 00:46:40,839
..."Carrots, peanuts,
what's the difference?"
849
00:46:41,466 --> 00:46:44,384
So he asked the squirrel
if he could have some.
850
00:46:44,594 --> 00:46:46,595
And the squirrel said, "Of course."
851
00:46:46,846 --> 00:46:50,891
And the rabbit was very happy
to make such a nice new friend.
852
00:46:52,977 --> 00:46:54,936
And so was the squirrel.
853
00:46:55,104 --> 00:46:57,898
And the rabbit thought the squirrel
had pretty hair.
854
00:46:58,608 --> 00:47:01,067
And nice eyes also.
855
00:47:01,986 --> 00:47:05,113
And the squirrel thought the rabbit
was really nice too.
856
00:47:05,490 --> 00:47:09,075
And then, the rabbit
worked up his courage...
857
00:47:09,243 --> 00:47:11,495
...and asked the squirrel
if he could have...
858
00:47:11,746 --> 00:47:14,498
...just the littlest squirrel kiss.
859
00:47:15,291 --> 00:47:19,127
And the squirrel thought
it just wasn't the right time...
860
00:47:19,295 --> 00:47:22,422
...in her busy squirrel life
to be kissing any rabbits...
861
00:47:22,632 --> 00:47:26,092
...even though this particular rabbit
was very sweet.
862
00:47:26,636 --> 00:47:28,929
And the rabbit got shut down,
did he?
863
00:47:31,265 --> 00:47:35,477
That's all right.
But he was still thinking maybe...
864
00:47:35,645 --> 00:47:38,563
...Scuba Steve could get
a squirrel kiss...
865
00:47:38,773 --> 00:47:40,815
...so somebody's getting
some action.
866
00:47:47,782 --> 00:47:49,824
Good night, Scuba Steve.
867
00:47:50,618 --> 00:47:52,160
Good night, Frankenstein.
868
00:47:54,121 --> 00:47:55,413
Good night, Sonny.
869
00:47:55,623 --> 00:47:57,290
Good night, Layla.
870
00:48:00,461 --> 00:48:02,337
Don't get caught with any girls.
871
00:48:02,588 --> 00:48:04,631
It's your first day. Take it slow.
872
00:48:04,840 --> 00:48:07,801
I'll meet you after school
at 2:30, right out front.
873
00:48:08,344 --> 00:48:09,594
You're not staying?
874
00:48:09,804 --> 00:48:12,305
No, I gotta go get you
some more ketchup.
875
00:48:12,557 --> 00:48:14,140
I don't like these kids.
876
00:48:14,350 --> 00:48:17,352
I don't either,
but shouldn't we give them a chance?
877
00:48:20,064 --> 00:48:21,314
How's this?
878
00:48:23,568 --> 00:48:25,986
Here are the magic sunglasses.
879
00:48:26,195 --> 00:48:29,072
You put them on
if you feel scared, okay?
880
00:48:31,075 --> 00:48:32,200
I lost you.
881
00:48:32,368 --> 00:48:34,703
I don't know where you are.
I'm sorry.
882
00:48:35,997 --> 00:48:37,330
Oh, there you go.
883
00:48:38,791 --> 00:48:41,084
You go inside
and make some friends.
884
00:48:42,086 --> 00:48:43,878
Oh, yeah, that's a good hug.
885
00:48:44,088 --> 00:48:46,881
All right. Go inside.
I'm gonna miss you.
886
00:48:50,469 --> 00:48:52,387
Hi, I like your hat.
887
00:48:52,638 --> 00:48:54,180
What's your name?
888
00:49:06,235 --> 00:49:12,157
- Might as well...
- Leave a message!
889
00:49:12,366 --> 00:49:16,870
Mr. Gerrity, this is Arthur Brooks from
Social Services. I got good news.
890
00:49:17,121 --> 00:49:19,331
We may have found
a family for Julian.
891
00:49:19,540 --> 00:49:21,916
Give me a call back
as soon as possible...
892
00:49:22,126 --> 00:49:24,669
...so we can set up a meeting. Bye.
893
00:49:35,681 --> 00:49:37,140
Sierra Club Legal Department.
894
00:49:37,433 --> 00:49:39,017
Can I speak to Layla Maloney?
895
00:49:39,435 --> 00:49:41,645
Layla, line four.
896
00:49:43,731 --> 00:49:45,774
- Hello?
- You're a lawyer?
897
00:49:46,150 --> 00:49:47,609
What are you doing?
898
00:49:47,777 --> 00:49:51,154
Waiting for Julian so I can have
somebody to play with.
899
00:49:51,739 --> 00:49:53,531
- What are you doing?
- I'm swamped.
900
00:49:53,741 --> 00:49:55,867
I gotta do my laundry
on my lunch hour.
901
00:49:56,077 --> 00:49:59,079
I was gonna do my laundry today too.
Where are you going?
902
00:49:59,288 --> 00:50:02,082
There's a place nearby,
Suds, on Bleecker.
903
00:50:02,291 --> 00:50:05,210
I know that place.
Maybe I'll see you there then.
904
00:50:05,419 --> 00:50:07,712
Maybe. I gotta go.
905
00:50:17,932 --> 00:50:20,642
I bought tickets
and the show was the night before.
906
00:50:20,810 --> 00:50:21,935
Maybe it was a mistake.
907
00:50:22,186 --> 00:50:26,064
That's nice, but you don't know
what's going down on the streets.
908
00:50:26,440 --> 00:50:28,233
It's hard to know what's going down...
909
00:50:28,442 --> 00:50:31,945
...when you're in an office
seven days a week, Mr. Tollbooth.
910
00:50:32,113 --> 00:50:34,447
You're not gonna tell me
to get a real job.
911
00:50:34,615 --> 00:50:36,741
No. You're a big boy.
912
00:50:36,951 --> 00:50:38,952
It's cool you only work
one day a week.
913
00:50:40,204 --> 00:50:42,789
These are the cutest things
I've ever seen.
914
00:50:42,957 --> 00:50:46,710
I know. I have them in yellow.
I wear them when I work out.
915
00:50:48,129 --> 00:50:51,256
It's great what you're doing
with Julian while you got him.
916
00:50:51,632 --> 00:50:52,716
Yeah, well, I got him.
917
00:50:52,925 --> 00:50:54,634
I read an article that said...
918
00:50:54,844 --> 00:50:58,179
...the most important influences
in a kid's life are his friends.
919
00:50:58,347 --> 00:50:59,597
They said that?
920
00:50:59,807 --> 00:51:02,434
Just hope he's not hanging out
with drug dealers...
921
00:51:02,601 --> 00:51:04,018
...and delinquents in school.
922
00:51:06,522 --> 00:51:07,647
I'm kidding.
923
00:51:09,150 --> 00:51:10,150
I know. I know.
924
00:51:11,944 --> 00:51:14,863
Man, this Yoo-Hoo is good.
You know what else is good?
925
00:51:15,114 --> 00:51:16,740
Smoking dope.
926
00:51:17,032 --> 00:51:18,658
I ain't going to rat you out.
927
00:51:18,826 --> 00:51:20,160
Puffing the cheeba.
928
00:51:20,327 --> 00:51:24,164
Go by the seesaw, smoke a J.
You know what I'm talking about?
929
00:51:24,749 --> 00:51:26,166
I have a bellybutton.
930
00:51:26,459 --> 00:51:29,043
You have a bellybutton?
We all have bellybuttons.
931
00:51:29,253 --> 00:51:32,380
And we all love Yoo-Hoo.
Especially with a little rum.
932
00:51:32,631 --> 00:51:34,841
- What's rum?
- You don't know?
933
00:51:35,050 --> 00:51:36,134
Rumpelstiltskin?
934
00:51:36,635 --> 00:51:38,094
Rumpelstiltskin.
935
00:51:38,304 --> 00:51:40,889
Rumpelstiltskin's a good man.
So are you guys.
936
00:51:41,807 --> 00:51:44,184
Stay clean. Stay focused.
937
00:51:44,351 --> 00:51:47,061
Frankenstein,
have fun with your friends.
938
00:51:48,689 --> 00:51:50,565
Why are you scratching so much?
939
00:51:50,775 --> 00:51:52,817
I have ecza...
940
00:51:53,027 --> 00:51:54,486
Eczema? Gross.
941
00:51:54,695 --> 00:51:56,362
How do I make it stop itching?
942
00:51:56,572 --> 00:51:59,032
I don't know. You scratch it.
943
00:51:59,200 --> 00:52:01,409
Spaghetti-O's. Do you like
Spaghetti-O's?
944
00:52:04,413 --> 00:52:05,914
Dented cans are half price.
945
00:52:06,081 --> 00:52:09,542
Microsoft went down three points.
We gotta save some money.
946
00:52:11,796 --> 00:52:13,296
Here, give it a shot.
947
00:52:14,799 --> 00:52:16,299
That's it, boy.
948
00:52:16,592 --> 00:52:18,218
Put it in there. Feels good.
949
00:52:18,427 --> 00:52:21,054
Hi, Sonny.
Hi, Sonny's friend.
950
00:52:21,305 --> 00:52:22,430
His name's Frankenstein.
951
00:52:22,890 --> 00:52:24,557
Hi, Frankenstein. Remember me?
952
00:52:24,809 --> 00:52:27,560
Help me. I'm lost.
I don't know where I am.
953
00:52:27,728 --> 00:52:29,187
You don't gotta do that.
954
00:52:29,396 --> 00:52:32,440
You guys wear the same size
T-shirt. That's cool.
955
00:52:32,691 --> 00:52:34,901
I heard you did laundry
with my sister.
956
00:52:35,110 --> 00:52:36,444
She said we did laundry?
957
00:52:36,695 --> 00:52:39,531
Where I'm from, it's called
doing the hibbity-dibbity.
958
00:52:41,242 --> 00:52:42,575
I got eczema.
959
00:52:42,952 --> 00:52:45,286
Well, then you shouldn't scratch it.
960
00:52:45,454 --> 00:52:48,206
Don't tell him what to do.
He can scratch.
961
00:52:48,415 --> 00:52:50,124
- Scratch.
- Is that better?
962
00:52:50,376 --> 00:52:52,210
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
963
00:52:52,628 --> 00:52:55,421
You know about kids?
I thought you were a foot doctor.
964
00:52:55,631 --> 00:52:59,759
It's not doctor stuff. It's common
sense. Scratching spreads rashes.
965
00:52:59,969 --> 00:53:02,262
This is something
you learned at Hooters.
966
00:53:06,892 --> 00:53:09,394
- What the hell is he doing?
- He's shopping.
967
00:53:09,603 --> 00:53:12,105
Microsoft went down three points.
968
00:53:12,773 --> 00:53:15,108
That's good.
See you later, Frankenstein.
969
00:53:15,276 --> 00:53:18,862
Stay away from the frozen-food
section. Your boobs'll harden.
970
00:53:26,871 --> 00:53:28,955
Isn't Little Italy the greatest?
971
00:53:29,123 --> 00:53:33,293
I like it. Everyone always tells me
to hang out in the Village and SoHo.
972
00:53:33,460 --> 00:53:34,502
That's all right.
973
00:53:34,670 --> 00:53:38,882
But you gotta respect a place where
the fatter you are, the cooler you are.
974
00:53:43,387 --> 00:53:46,806
Last time, he was with
a different girl. I guess he ate her.
975
00:53:49,184 --> 00:53:52,353
I went to Coney Island today
with the little boy.
976
00:53:52,521 --> 00:53:54,689
You gotta take a look at this.
977
00:53:54,940 --> 00:53:56,941
We had a blast together.
978
00:53:58,819 --> 00:54:00,153
He's so happy.
979
00:54:00,404 --> 00:54:01,821
He is such a good boy.
980
00:54:02,031 --> 00:54:05,491
If I have a kid of my own,
I hope he's half as cool as that kid.
981
00:54:06,160 --> 00:54:07,493
Is he picking your nose?
982
00:54:07,912 --> 00:54:10,038
Yeah, he was picking his own
all day...
983
00:54:10,289 --> 00:54:12,624
...so I figured he could borrow mine.
- Sweet.
984
00:54:13,042 --> 00:54:15,418
He must be miserable
without you right now.
985
00:54:15,711 --> 00:54:17,211
No, he's in good hands.
986
00:54:19,006 --> 00:54:21,925
Look at Brad's body.
Not an ounce of fat on it.
987
00:54:22,134 --> 00:54:24,928
- What?
- Don't worry. I like yours better.
988
00:54:28,307 --> 00:54:30,350
I got two queens, two jacks
and an ace.
989
00:54:30,559 --> 00:54:32,226
- I win.
- Why do you win?
990
00:54:32,436 --> 00:54:36,356
I got a two, a four, a 10,
an eight and a six.
991
00:54:36,565 --> 00:54:38,358
I don't understand.
Why do you win?
992
00:54:38,567 --> 00:54:40,860
- Because I win.
- What's the name of that game?
993
00:54:41,028 --> 00:54:42,070
I win.
994
00:54:42,237 --> 00:54:43,863
I'll get it!
995
00:54:45,741 --> 00:54:48,034
- What's up?
- I'm looking for Kevin Gerrity.
996
00:54:48,202 --> 00:54:49,994
He's in China. Who are you?
997
00:54:50,204 --> 00:54:53,748
Arthur Brooks, New York City
Social Services. I'm confused.
998
00:54:53,999 --> 00:54:56,542
Chinatown. He loves
those egg rolls.
999
00:54:56,961 --> 00:55:00,880
I've tried contacting him several times
and he hasn't responded.
1000
00:55:01,090 --> 00:55:02,423
I'm concerned.
1001
00:55:02,591 --> 00:55:04,384
Lx-nay on the ketchup-nay.
1002
00:55:04,593 --> 00:55:06,552
- Have him call me.
- All right.
1003
00:55:07,888 --> 00:55:09,889
My body's definitely better than his.
1004
00:55:10,057 --> 00:55:11,975
Without question.
1005
00:55:16,230 --> 00:55:20,066
It took you a long time to pencil me in.
You work all the time.
1006
00:55:20,234 --> 00:55:21,442
I know. I'm excited.
1007
00:55:21,610 --> 00:55:24,237
You're excited.
How long you been this crazy?
1008
00:55:25,864 --> 00:55:28,574
I guess ever since
I was a little girl.
1009
00:55:29,368 --> 00:55:33,746
See, my mom got married really young
and pretty much just raised us kids.
1010
00:55:34,081 --> 00:55:35,790
So when my dad took off...
1011
00:55:36,041 --> 00:55:38,584
...she wasn't left
with a lot of options.
1012
00:55:38,752 --> 00:55:41,796
And I think that's when I decided...
1013
00:55:42,006 --> 00:55:44,590
...that I never wanted to end up
in that situation.
1014
00:55:45,259 --> 00:55:47,802
That's actually a good reason
to be working.
1015
00:55:48,053 --> 00:55:51,806
I guess I feel like I gotta kick ass
while there's ass to be kicked.
1016
00:55:52,057 --> 00:55:56,269
You kick that ass during the day,
but at night you have fun with Sonny.
1017
00:55:57,271 --> 00:56:01,524
The best of times
1018
00:56:02,818 --> 00:56:07,030
Are when I'm alone with you
1019
00:56:09,616 --> 00:56:13,453
Some rain, some shine
1020
00:56:21,462 --> 00:56:24,172
Two guys you were best friends with
in law school...
1021
00:56:24,339 --> 00:56:26,049
...fell in love with each other?
1022
00:56:26,258 --> 00:56:27,633
Is that strange for you?
1023
00:56:27,843 --> 00:56:29,844
No. Nothing changed, really.
1024
00:56:30,054 --> 00:56:33,306
They watch a different kind
of porno now. But that's it.
1025
00:56:33,682 --> 00:56:35,183
Hello.
1026
00:56:36,060 --> 00:56:37,977
My God! This is Corinne's place?
1027
00:56:38,187 --> 00:56:40,813
If the girls at Hooters
could see her now.
1028
00:56:40,981 --> 00:56:45,151
- Do you want your ass kicked?
- I'm just kidding around, Layla.
1029
00:56:49,490 --> 00:56:53,076
You're afraid to get involved
and you got a lot of work, but...
1030
00:56:53,619 --> 00:56:57,663
...when I'm not with you, I'm thinking
of you. Do you have that going on?
1031
00:56:58,082 --> 00:56:59,123
Maybe.
1032
00:56:59,333 --> 00:57:01,834
Maybe we should try a kiss out.
1033
00:57:02,086 --> 00:57:06,339
We owe it to ourselves to see
if we should move to the next level.
1034
00:57:07,216 --> 00:57:08,716
I'm not sure.
1035
00:57:08,884 --> 00:57:12,011
Me either. It's just that
you kissed Scuba Steve.
1036
00:57:12,179 --> 00:57:14,847
Ever since then,
he's strutted around bragging...
1037
00:57:15,099 --> 00:57:19,310
..."I got a kiss the first night.
After three times, you got nothing."
1038
00:57:19,520 --> 00:57:20,853
- He said that?
- Come on.
1039
00:57:21,021 --> 00:57:24,357
Let's just give it a shot
just so I can have some dignity.
1040
00:57:24,608 --> 00:57:25,900
All right?
1041
00:57:33,117 --> 00:57:35,076
Oh, my God!
1042
00:57:35,244 --> 00:57:36,702
Gross!
1043
00:57:36,870 --> 00:57:38,371
Did I witness the first kiss?
1044
00:57:38,539 --> 00:57:41,165
Yeah, you did.
Thanks a lot for showing up.
1045
00:57:41,750 --> 00:57:44,877
Layla, you didn't actually
enjoy that, did you?
1046
00:57:45,045 --> 00:57:47,588
I don't know. I'm going upstairs.
1047
00:57:47,756 --> 00:57:50,007
Wash your mouth out. He's dirty.
1048
00:57:50,217 --> 00:57:51,843
And he's poor.
1049
00:57:52,052 --> 00:57:56,055
What do you got in the bag, Corinne?
Some chicken wings? Booby tassels?
1050
00:57:56,348 --> 00:57:57,390
Shut up.
1051
00:57:57,558 --> 00:57:59,058
You have a good sleep.
1052
00:57:59,226 --> 00:58:00,852
Pleasant Hooters.
1053
00:58:05,399 --> 00:58:07,233
Come on, come on!
1054
00:58:07,568 --> 00:58:09,443
This is where we hang our jackets.
1055
00:58:09,653 --> 00:58:10,903
This is my hook.
1056
00:58:11,071 --> 00:58:12,405
That's a capertillar.
1057
00:58:12,656 --> 00:58:13,865
A caterpillar.
1058
00:58:14,074 --> 00:58:17,410
- That's right, a capertillar.
- Capertillar, all right.
1059
00:58:17,661 --> 00:58:19,287
- Staying clean, pal?
- Yes.
1060
00:58:19,538 --> 00:58:22,456
You drink the booze, you lose.
Remember that, punk.
1061
00:58:24,084 --> 00:58:26,210
I'm Julian's teacher, Ms. Foote.
1062
00:58:26,420 --> 00:58:28,588
- You his father?
- I'm Kevin Gerrity.
1063
00:58:28,922 --> 00:58:31,424
Do you have some time
to go over some things...
1064
00:58:31,592 --> 00:58:34,135
...that have been bothering me?
- Sure.
1065
00:58:34,303 --> 00:58:36,179
Go take a walk, pal.
1066
00:58:36,430 --> 00:58:39,432
Julian has been displaying
some odd behavior.
1067
00:58:39,600 --> 00:58:42,935
He spilled glue on the floor
and didn't tell anyone.
1068
00:58:43,103 --> 00:58:44,812
He covered it with newspaper.
1069
00:58:45,606 --> 00:58:49,984
And then one of our students wore
Rollerblades for show-and-tell.
1070
00:58:50,194 --> 00:58:52,778
And Julian tripped him with a stick.
1071
00:58:53,071 --> 00:58:54,113
I've never...
1072
00:58:56,783 --> 00:58:58,659
Julian found it hilarious.
1073
00:58:58,827 --> 00:59:01,245
I like him to express himself freely.
1074
00:59:01,455 --> 00:59:04,457
I've really never seen
any problems with that.
1075
00:59:08,295 --> 00:59:11,505
Your boy's making the least progress
of any of the children.
1076
00:59:12,132 --> 00:59:15,843
Frankly, his personal hygiene
is becoming a cause for concern.
1077
00:59:16,303 --> 00:59:19,722
He's the smelly kid in class?
I let him become the smelly kid?
1078
00:59:19,932 --> 00:59:21,140
What's wrong with me?
1079
00:59:21,350 --> 00:59:23,309
I've had some smelly ones before.
1080
00:59:23,518 --> 00:59:25,978
But your son is by far the smelliest.
1081
00:59:26,230 --> 00:59:28,981
All right, I got you.
What do you think I should do?
1082
00:59:29,233 --> 00:59:31,859
Start by paying more attention
to his schoolwork.
1083
00:59:32,527 --> 00:59:35,947
The class is giving a presentation
of the Founding Fathers.
1084
00:59:36,156 --> 00:59:40,326
Julian has drawn the part of Benjamin
Franklin, a very important role.
1085
00:59:40,494 --> 00:59:41,786
Do what you can to help.
1086
00:59:41,995 --> 00:59:44,747
I will turn this all around.
That's a promise.
1087
00:59:44,957 --> 00:59:46,332
Thank you very much.
1088
00:59:46,541 --> 00:59:49,043
Stinky, let's go.
You got us in trouble.
1089
00:59:49,253 --> 00:59:50,544
Did he call him "Stinky"?
1090
00:59:54,007 --> 00:59:56,676
Wow, I didn't know this
about George Washington.
1091
00:59:56,843 --> 00:59:59,303
Yes, his teeth were made of wool.
1092
00:59:59,513 --> 01:00:01,055
Wood.
1093
01:00:01,974 --> 01:00:03,808
I sorry. I mix up "D" and "L."
1094
01:00:04,017 --> 01:00:05,268
Well, get it right.
1095
01:00:07,020 --> 01:00:08,688
Turn that game off, pal.
1096
01:00:08,897 --> 01:00:10,189
I got four guys left.
1097
01:00:10,399 --> 01:00:11,983
Let's study a little bit.
1098
01:00:12,192 --> 01:00:13,359
I don't wanna study.
1099
01:00:13,527 --> 01:00:14,568
Give me that.
1100
01:00:15,570 --> 01:00:18,572
- You just killed me.
- So what? You'll play later.
1101
01:00:18,782 --> 01:00:20,408
You can't tell me what to do.
1102
01:00:20,659 --> 01:00:24,578
Really? Let's take a vote.
Who thinks the kid should study?
1103
01:00:25,914 --> 01:00:29,083
Who doesn't?
Well, you just lost, two to one.
1104
01:00:29,293 --> 01:00:32,586
It's a tie. That guy doesn't count.
He can't even read.
1105
01:00:33,922 --> 01:00:36,048
I know. He was just joking around.
1106
01:00:36,800 --> 01:00:40,344
Can you hang out here a little bit?
I gotta go do something.
1107
01:00:40,554 --> 01:00:41,721
No problem.
1108
01:00:43,056 --> 01:00:44,432
Would you like
1109
01:00:46,560 --> 01:00:48,394
We'II hop, hop, hop, hop
1110
01:00:48,603 --> 01:00:50,313
What do you say?
1111
01:00:51,940 --> 01:00:53,441
Get the door.
1112
01:01:00,324 --> 01:01:01,907
Hi, Julian. How you doing?
1113
01:01:02,409 --> 01:01:04,285
I'm Scuba Sam.
1114
01:01:04,453 --> 01:01:06,078
Scuba Steve's father.
1115
01:01:06,330 --> 01:01:07,580
You see, my boy...
1116
01:01:07,831 --> 01:01:09,582
...needs to take a bath.
1117
01:01:09,958 --> 01:01:11,459
The only problem is...
1118
01:01:11,710 --> 01:01:13,753
...he's afraid to bathe alone.
1119
01:01:13,920 --> 01:01:15,546
So I was wondering...
1120
01:01:15,756 --> 01:01:19,258
...if maybe you could
keep him company in the tub.
1121
01:01:20,093 --> 01:01:24,263
Terrific. And after the bath,
you have to try and study hard.
1122
01:01:24,473 --> 01:01:27,725
Because if you wanna be a member
of the Scuba Squad...
1123
01:01:27,893 --> 01:01:29,268
...you have to be smart.
1124
01:01:29,478 --> 01:01:31,604
I could be in the Scuba Squad?
1125
01:01:31,772 --> 01:01:35,358
Well, sure. All you have to do
is work hard.
1126
01:01:35,567 --> 01:01:38,152
And don't tell a soul
about the Scuba Squad...
1127
01:01:38,362 --> 01:01:40,613
...because then everybody will
wanna join.
1128
01:01:40,781 --> 01:01:42,281
And one more thing...
1129
01:01:42,449 --> 01:01:44,784
...be nice to the delivery guy,
would you?
1130
01:01:46,286 --> 01:01:48,079
It's not his fault he can't read.
1131
01:01:48,914 --> 01:01:50,581
Take care.
1132
01:01:54,628 --> 01:01:58,297
He told me to watch his boat for him.
Said that he wanted to...
1133
01:01:58,465 --> 01:02:01,133
...talk to you about
some secret mission.
1134
01:02:01,593 --> 01:02:04,136
I have no idea what
you're talking about.
1135
01:02:04,554 --> 01:02:05,721
Okay.
1136
01:02:07,140 --> 01:02:09,600
How come I have to wear
a bathing suit?
1137
01:02:09,810 --> 01:02:11,310
I don't know the rules...
1138
01:02:11,478 --> 01:02:15,773
...with little kids and grownups
and being naked and just sit down.
1139
01:02:18,151 --> 01:02:21,529
The good news is you're not
smelling like a foot anymore.
1140
01:02:21,696 --> 01:02:25,533
I read something interesting. You
know Benjamin Franklin invented...
1141
01:02:25,784 --> 01:02:27,785
...bifocals? That's pretty cool.
1142
01:02:27,953 --> 01:02:28,994
What are they?
1143
01:02:29,162 --> 01:02:33,332
I'll show you in that book. It might
help you out with your school play.
1144
01:02:34,167 --> 01:02:35,835
We'll make this a regular thing.
1145
01:02:36,002 --> 01:02:39,171
Bathing and studying
and eating right.
1146
01:02:39,423 --> 01:02:42,049
Put your head back.
My grandmother did this to me.
1147
01:02:42,217 --> 01:02:47,012
"Oh, boy. When I was a little girl,
frankfurters only cost a nickel."
1148
01:02:47,431 --> 01:02:48,514
Can you still have fun?
1149
01:02:48,723 --> 01:02:50,474
Yeah, but after you study.
1150
01:02:50,684 --> 01:02:53,727
In fact, we gotta get you
dressing differently.
1151
01:02:53,937 --> 01:02:56,147
- We'll go to Barney's.
- Barney?
1152
01:02:56,356 --> 01:02:59,442
Not that Barney.
A more expensive Barney.
1153
01:03:08,952 --> 01:03:10,703
All right, one at a time.
1154
01:03:10,954 --> 01:03:12,455
That's one.
1155
01:03:12,873 --> 01:03:14,206
Two.
1156
01:03:15,959 --> 01:03:18,544
See? Urinals are good too.
1157
01:03:39,274 --> 01:03:40,733
"Electricity."
1158
01:03:40,901 --> 01:03:41,984
Very good.
1159
01:03:42,194 --> 01:03:43,444
"Constitution."
1160
01:03:43,612 --> 01:03:44,862
That's it.
1161
01:03:45,071 --> 01:03:46,280
"Philadelphia."
1162
01:03:46,490 --> 01:03:47,615
Smart. Good.
1163
01:03:50,410 --> 01:03:51,494
"Fish"?
1164
01:03:53,622 --> 01:03:54,788
"Pony"?
1165
01:03:56,750 --> 01:03:57,791
"Hip..."
1166
01:03:58,919 --> 01:04:00,377
"Hiphop..."
1167
01:04:00,545 --> 01:04:01,587
"Hipopynonamous"?
1168
01:04:03,131 --> 01:04:06,008
Damn you!
You gave him the easy ones!
1169
01:04:09,513 --> 01:04:10,930
- Thanks!
- You're welcome.
1170
01:04:14,559 --> 01:04:15,601
Slow down.
1171
01:04:16,311 --> 01:04:19,104
- You owe me a Sausage McMuffin.
- Okay.
1172
01:04:26,446 --> 01:04:27,530
There's a pole there.
1173
01:04:37,123 --> 01:04:39,166
My name is Alexander Hamilton.
1174
01:04:39,543 --> 01:04:42,253
I was the first Secretary
of the Treasury.
1175
01:04:42,462 --> 01:04:44,838
I owned a bank and a newspaper.
1176
01:04:45,131 --> 01:04:47,424
Aaron Bird shot me.
1177
01:04:51,471 --> 01:04:53,931
Hi, my name is Benjamin Franklin.
1178
01:04:54,266 --> 01:04:56,809
I was a writer, a diplomat...
1179
01:04:57,102 --> 01:04:59,311
...an inventor and a statesman...
1180
01:04:59,646 --> 01:05:03,649
...although I only went to school
for two years.
1181
01:05:04,859 --> 01:05:09,196
I wrote many books and invented
many things we still use today.
1182
01:05:13,994 --> 01:05:17,663
The Declaration of Independence
is finished.
1183
01:05:19,332 --> 01:05:21,000
Who will be the first to sign?
1184
01:05:21,209 --> 01:05:24,628
- How about you, John Hancock?
- I want to sign!
1185
01:05:28,883 --> 01:05:31,594
- Look at my man stand strong.
- He's so cute.
1186
01:05:37,392 --> 01:05:38,642
What are your cards?
1187
01:05:38,852 --> 01:05:43,606
I got a six, a five, a jack,
a four and a eight.
1188
01:05:43,982 --> 01:05:46,025
- I win.
- What do you mean?
1189
01:05:46,234 --> 01:05:48,694
I had a hand just like that.
I didn't win.
1190
01:05:48,862 --> 01:05:51,322
- Because I win.
- This is bullshit!
1191
01:05:51,531 --> 01:05:53,198
All right. Take it easy, man.
1192
01:05:53,408 --> 01:05:55,200
Every time it's different cards.
1193
01:05:55,368 --> 01:05:57,077
So what? Relax. He's a kid.
1194
01:05:57,245 --> 01:06:00,539
There should be same set of rules,
no matter what age.
1195
01:06:00,749 --> 01:06:02,750
He's gotta learn how to lose too.
1196
01:06:03,126 --> 01:06:05,586
- Hello, Mr. Koufax.
- Mr. Brooks, how you doing?
1197
01:06:05,754 --> 01:06:07,546
I was gonna give you a buzz.
1198
01:06:08,548 --> 01:06:11,258
You just called me Mr. Koufax,
didn't you?
1199
01:06:11,509 --> 01:06:13,594
It is your name, isn't it?
Sonny Koufax?
1200
01:06:13,762 --> 01:06:16,347
You held yourself out
to be Kevin Gerrity...
1201
01:06:16,556 --> 01:06:18,557
...to gain custody of young Julian.
1202
01:06:18,892 --> 01:06:20,726
Big problem in this state.
1203
01:06:20,935 --> 01:06:22,728
I've delivered to you before.
1204
01:06:22,896 --> 01:06:25,356
You always order
three pieces of cheesecake.
1205
01:06:26,149 --> 01:06:28,942
The real Kevin Gerrity
asked me to take care of...
1206
01:06:29,152 --> 01:06:30,944
Save it, Mr. Koufax.
1207
01:06:31,196 --> 01:06:33,572
He has to come with me
or I'll arrest you.
1208
01:06:33,740 --> 01:06:35,074
Take out your handcuffs.
1209
01:06:35,241 --> 01:06:38,160
I don't have any,
but two policemen downstairs do.
1210
01:06:38,662 --> 01:06:40,913
Listen, Sonny, I would like to help...
1211
01:06:41,164 --> 01:06:44,917
...but my status in your country
is not what you would call legal.
1212
01:06:45,168 --> 01:06:46,251
It's okay.
1213
01:06:46,586 --> 01:06:47,711
I'm Audi.
1214
01:06:47,921 --> 01:06:50,756
Julian, you're gonna have to
come with me.
1215
01:06:51,091 --> 01:06:52,383
- Just give me...
- Sonny.
1216
01:06:52,801 --> 01:06:54,426
One second, pal.
1217
01:06:56,429 --> 01:06:59,807
Would you just give me a second
to say goodbye to the kid?
1218
01:07:00,934 --> 01:07:01,934
Take a second.
1219
01:07:10,193 --> 01:07:12,486
You don't want me here anymore?
1220
01:07:12,779 --> 01:07:14,655
No, that's not it, pal.
1221
01:07:14,823 --> 01:07:17,157
You just gotta go away
for a little while.
1222
01:07:17,325 --> 01:07:19,827
How long am I going away for?
1223
01:07:19,994 --> 01:07:21,995
I don't wanna lie to you.
1224
01:07:24,332 --> 01:07:26,125
I don't think we're gonna...
1225
01:07:26,626 --> 01:07:28,752
...be seeing each other anymore.
1226
01:07:30,213 --> 01:07:33,090
I screwed up, pal. I'm so sorry.
1227
01:07:34,008 --> 01:07:35,342
Come here.
1228
01:07:36,010 --> 01:07:37,219
Put your coat on.
1229
01:07:42,976 --> 01:07:45,436
It's not your fault, okay?
I'm the idiot.
1230
01:07:45,729 --> 01:07:47,813
- I don't wanna go.
- I know you don't.
1231
01:07:47,981 --> 01:07:50,441
But you have to,
and you're gonna be okay.
1232
01:07:53,445 --> 01:07:55,529
Please don't make me go.
1233
01:07:55,739 --> 01:07:58,198
I'm sorry, but I don't know
what else to do.
1234
01:07:58,366 --> 01:08:00,868
I won't play
the kangaroo song anymore.
1235
01:08:01,453 --> 01:08:02,786
Come on.
1236
01:08:02,996 --> 01:08:04,663
Just go. You gotta go.
1237
01:08:04,873 --> 01:08:05,998
You gotta go.
1238
01:08:07,834 --> 01:08:10,335
I don't wanna go. I promise...
1239
01:08:10,503 --> 01:08:13,505
...l'm sorry. I don't even
like that song anymore.
1240
01:08:13,757 --> 01:08:15,841
I know, pal. That's not it.
1241
01:08:16,009 --> 01:08:19,178
But I wipe my own ass!
I wipe my own ass!
1242
01:08:20,680 --> 01:08:22,347
I know.
1243
01:08:41,534 --> 01:08:43,911
- Layla, they took the kid.
- Who?
1244
01:08:44,078 --> 01:08:46,580
Social Services.
I gotta get him back.
1245
01:08:46,831 --> 01:08:48,707
You said this was just temporary.
1246
01:08:48,875 --> 01:08:51,835
I can't have it be temporary.
It's gotta be permanent.
1247
01:08:52,045 --> 01:08:53,712
Okay, what can we do?
1248
01:08:53,922 --> 01:08:57,341
I filed to get custody based
on the child's best interests.
1249
01:08:57,550 --> 01:09:01,386
Tommy knew a clerk, so they
fast-tracked the hearing. It's Tuesday.
1250
01:09:01,554 --> 01:09:03,388
- This Tuesday?
- You got work?
1251
01:09:03,598 --> 01:09:06,600
I gotta go to Washington
for a hearing to dismiss my case.
1252
01:09:06,851 --> 01:09:08,393
Can you get somebody else?
1253
01:09:08,603 --> 01:09:11,104
I'm sorry, Sonny.
I can't. It's my case.
1254
01:09:11,314 --> 01:09:14,441
We don't even know where
this kid's gonna end up.
1255
01:09:14,734 --> 01:09:18,237
Sonny, this is exactly why
I didn't wanna get involved.
1256
01:09:18,446 --> 01:09:20,405
I had things going the way I wanted.
1257
01:09:20,615 --> 01:09:24,493
Then at the park, you and this kid
come barging into my life...
1258
01:09:24,702 --> 01:09:27,704
...and it's screwing up everything
I had planned.
1259
01:09:27,956 --> 01:09:30,916
You think I planned on a kid
showing up on my doorstep?
1260
01:09:31,125 --> 01:09:32,709
But I fell in love with him.
1261
01:09:34,045 --> 01:09:36,046
So now my plans have changed.
1262
01:10:31,102 --> 01:10:32,519
All rise.
1263
01:10:39,819 --> 01:10:43,780
We're here to determine
proper custody of Julian McGrath...
1264
01:10:43,990 --> 01:10:47,200
...also known as Julian Gerrity,
a minor child.
1265
01:10:47,410 --> 01:10:48,994
Representing New York City?
1266
01:10:49,162 --> 01:10:50,537
Ted Castellucci.
1267
01:10:50,788 --> 01:10:52,664
Arthur Brooks, Social Services.
1268
01:10:52,832 --> 01:10:54,833
And representing Sonny Koufax?
1269
01:10:55,001 --> 01:10:56,168
Phillip D'Amato.
1270
01:10:56,336 --> 01:10:57,419
Thomas Grayton.
1271
01:10:57,712 --> 01:11:00,297
Plus, I'll pretty much
be representing myself.
1272
01:11:00,506 --> 01:11:01,548
Anyone else?
1273
01:11:01,716 --> 01:11:04,009
Layla Maloney, Your Honor.
1274
01:11:07,180 --> 01:11:09,640
- Thank you.
- Does this mean that you love me?
1275
01:11:09,849 --> 01:11:11,433
Something like that.
1276
01:11:12,226 --> 01:11:13,727
First witness.
1277
01:11:13,937 --> 01:11:16,688
Koufax is a good egg.
He was nice to that kid.
1278
01:11:17,440 --> 01:11:20,692
But he fights like a girl.
You like that?
1279
01:11:20,944 --> 01:11:22,694
I'm right here, miss.
1280
01:11:22,862 --> 01:11:24,696
What are you gonna do about it?
1281
01:11:26,532 --> 01:11:28,241
Are you drunk, Mr. Herlihy?
1282
01:11:28,451 --> 01:11:31,203
I had a few chardonnays.
What of it?
1283
01:11:32,038 --> 01:11:33,246
Get off the stand.
1284
01:11:33,706 --> 01:11:35,040
You got it.
1285
01:11:35,541 --> 01:11:37,084
I've got a few problems.
1286
01:11:37,502 --> 01:11:38,752
Off to a good start.
1287
01:11:39,003 --> 01:11:43,840
Mr. Koufax is a really cool guy.
I wish my dad was as cool as him.
1288
01:11:44,050 --> 01:11:45,759
My dad was a military man.
1289
01:11:46,552 --> 01:11:49,554
Guess I wasn't such a "good soldier."
1290
01:11:49,973 --> 01:11:54,768
When I was 35, he attempted to give
me a crew cut while I was sleeping.
1291
01:11:55,061 --> 01:11:57,562
I broke his arm,
haven't seen him since.
1292
01:11:58,106 --> 01:12:01,024
I'd rather live on the streets
than under his rules.
1293
01:12:07,615 --> 01:12:11,994
Anyway, I think Mr. Koufax should be
acquitted of all the charges.
1294
01:12:13,246 --> 01:12:17,249
If O.J. Can get away with murder,
why can't Sonny have his kid?
1295
01:12:18,584 --> 01:12:20,627
This guy knows
what I'm talking about.
1296
01:12:22,922 --> 01:12:24,631
No more questions.
1297
01:12:26,134 --> 01:12:27,968
No more questions...
1298
01:12:28,261 --> 01:12:30,887
How long have you delivered food
to Mr. Koufax?
1299
01:12:31,097 --> 01:12:32,764
I deliver food for six years.
1300
01:12:32,932 --> 01:12:36,018
Plus, I'm stripper.
But I've put on weight so it's problem.
1301
01:12:36,227 --> 01:12:40,313
I see. And in your experience,
was Sonny a good father to Julian?
1302
01:12:40,565 --> 01:12:43,275
Oh, yes. They make terrific pair.
1303
01:12:43,443 --> 01:12:45,944
They went together like
lamb and tuna fish.
1304
01:12:47,780 --> 01:12:49,322
Lamb and tuna fish?
1305
01:12:49,949 --> 01:12:53,535
Spaghetti and meatball? You more
comfortable with that analogy?
1306
01:12:53,745 --> 01:12:55,954
Yes, considering we're in America.
1307
01:12:56,164 --> 01:12:58,790
If you don't like spaghetti
and meatballs, get out.
1308
01:12:59,042 --> 01:13:00,542
I'll come give you a crew cut.
1309
01:13:00,793 --> 01:13:02,169
Let's see your clippers.
1310
01:13:02,420 --> 01:13:04,171
Not my problem your dad was sick.
1311
01:13:06,466 --> 01:13:08,050
Stop yelling at me!
1312
01:13:11,179 --> 01:13:13,680
Order! Order! Order!
1313
01:13:13,848 --> 01:13:15,432
Am I in the right room?
1314
01:13:15,641 --> 01:13:16,808
Who the hell are you?
1315
01:13:17,060 --> 01:13:18,685
I'm Mr. Koufax's co-counsel.
1316
01:13:18,853 --> 01:13:20,645
He has enough co-counsels.
1317
01:13:20,855 --> 01:13:22,481
Well...
1318
01:13:23,775 --> 01:13:24,983
...one more won't hurt.
1319
01:13:25,193 --> 01:13:26,651
Let's get on with it.
1320
01:13:26,861 --> 01:13:29,863
Mr. Koufax is simply parading
his buddies up there.
1321
01:13:30,073 --> 01:13:32,491
Can't they find someone
who isn't a friend?
1322
01:13:32,700 --> 01:13:34,993
What were Julian
and Mr. Koufax doing?
1323
01:13:35,161 --> 01:13:36,203
Shopping.
1324
01:13:36,370 --> 01:13:39,331
Did he appear to be
an attentive, loving father?
1325
01:13:39,499 --> 01:13:40,999
He certainly did.
1326
01:13:41,334 --> 01:13:43,543
And how long have you
disliked Mr. Koufax?
1327
01:13:43,711 --> 01:13:45,045
Since the day I met him.
1328
01:13:45,213 --> 01:13:48,340
For the record, where did you work
during medical school?
1329
01:13:49,842 --> 01:13:51,218
Hooters.
1330
01:13:53,012 --> 01:13:54,805
No further questions.
1331
01:13:55,723 --> 01:13:57,182
Asshole.
1332
01:13:57,391 --> 01:13:58,725
Next witness.
1333
01:13:59,227 --> 01:14:01,311
We'd like to call Julian McGrath.
1334
01:14:15,201 --> 01:14:18,537
If it's okay with you,
I'd like to ask you a few questions.
1335
01:14:18,871 --> 01:14:20,580
This is just you and me talking...
1336
01:14:20,748 --> 01:14:22,916
...so don't pay attention to
these people.
1337
01:14:23,126 --> 01:14:25,210
Can you tell me how old you are?
1338
01:14:26,921 --> 01:14:28,630
Your Honor, one second.
1339
01:14:41,727 --> 01:14:43,395
That's better, huh?
1340
01:14:43,729 --> 01:14:45,438
Can you tell me
how old you are?
1341
01:14:45,773 --> 01:14:47,023
Five.
1342
01:14:47,233 --> 01:14:48,525
What's your birthday?
1343
01:14:48,734 --> 01:14:50,402
July 15th.
1344
01:14:50,653 --> 01:14:51,778
Where were you born?
1345
01:14:52,029 --> 01:14:53,071
Toronto.
1346
01:14:53,281 --> 01:14:55,699
Toronto? I thought you were
from Buffalo.
1347
01:14:56,075 --> 01:14:58,785
I moved to Buffalo with my mommy.
1348
01:14:59,036 --> 01:15:02,205
For the past six weeks, you've been
living with Sonny?
1349
01:15:02,665 --> 01:15:03,999
Yes.
1350
01:15:04,208 --> 01:15:06,960
- Did you and Sonny have fun?
- Yes.
1351
01:15:07,170 --> 01:15:08,920
What kind of things would you do?
1352
01:15:09,172 --> 01:15:13,091
He taught me how to do the sleeper
hold like Chief Jay Strongbow.
1353
01:15:13,676 --> 01:15:14,968
That's nice.
1354
01:15:15,178 --> 01:15:16,219
Anything else?
1355
01:15:16,429 --> 01:15:18,805
He taught me how to pee
on a building.
1356
01:15:19,265 --> 01:15:20,307
Really?
1357
01:15:23,978 --> 01:15:28,607
And he taught me that Styx was one
of the greatest American rock bands.
1358
01:15:28,816 --> 01:15:30,609
They only caught a bad rap...
1359
01:15:30,818 --> 01:15:34,279
...because most critics
are cynical assholes.
1360
01:15:36,949 --> 01:15:38,992
I think we'd all agree with that.
1361
01:15:40,953 --> 01:15:43,163
Before you came here,
do you remember...
1362
01:15:43,331 --> 01:15:45,457
...the last thing
your mommy said to you?
1363
01:15:45,625 --> 01:15:49,252
That she loved me and I was gonna
live with my new daddy.
1364
01:15:49,462 --> 01:15:52,339
If your mother could pick anyone
to be your new daddy...
1365
01:15:52,590 --> 01:15:53,840
...who would she pick?
1366
01:15:54,008 --> 01:15:55,717
Sonny.
1367
01:15:56,636 --> 01:15:57,844
Thank you, Julian.
1368
01:15:58,095 --> 01:15:59,512
You can step down now.
1369
01:16:04,435 --> 01:16:06,102
That went good, don't you think?
1370
01:16:06,354 --> 01:16:09,314
I don't know.
Judge doesn't look too happy.
1371
01:16:09,649 --> 01:16:12,234
Mr. Koufax, anyone else?
1372
01:16:16,948 --> 01:16:19,282
I'd like to call upon myself,
Your Honor.
1373
01:16:19,492 --> 01:16:20,784
Awesome.
1374
01:16:20,993 --> 01:16:24,120
Which of your esteemed co-counsels
will examine you?
1375
01:16:26,040 --> 01:16:28,375
My father, Lenny Koufax.
1376
01:16:28,626 --> 01:16:29,793
What?
1377
01:16:30,253 --> 01:16:31,628
Forget it, Sonny.
1378
01:16:31,837 --> 01:16:33,338
What is going on?
1379
01:16:33,506 --> 01:16:37,801
Nobody in this world thinks I shouldn't
have a child more than that man.
1380
01:16:38,135 --> 01:16:41,680
He also happens to be
a well-respected lawyer in Florida.
1381
01:16:41,847 --> 01:16:46,017
If I can make a believer out of him, I
can make a believer out of everybody.
1382
01:16:46,185 --> 01:16:50,772
This court is after the truth, not
the opinion of the defendant's father.
1383
01:16:50,982 --> 01:16:53,358
You want my opinion?
My son is a moron.
1384
01:16:53,526 --> 01:16:55,986
I withdraw my objection.
Please proceed.
1385
01:16:56,153 --> 01:16:57,988
Mr. Koufax.
1386
01:17:00,908 --> 01:17:02,575
This is a big mistake.
1387
01:17:03,077 --> 01:17:06,496
I only came today to make sure
you didn't end up in jail.
1388
01:17:06,706 --> 01:17:08,540
That was nice of you. Thank you.
1389
01:17:08,708 --> 01:17:11,584
To do what I think is right here.
1390
01:17:11,794 --> 01:17:14,379
Cut your fingernails.
They're too long.
1391
01:17:14,547 --> 01:17:15,547
Okay, Dad.
1392
01:17:15,798 --> 01:17:17,173
This case is simple.
1393
01:17:18,342 --> 01:17:22,887
It is absurd to think that Sonny Koufax
is ready to raise a child.
1394
01:17:23,097 --> 01:17:24,848
- Objection!
- Shut up, Tommy.
1395
01:17:25,433 --> 01:17:26,933
Sorry, Mr. Koufax.
1396
01:17:27,560 --> 01:17:29,394
First of all, how did...
1397
01:17:29,603 --> 01:17:34,107
...this sweet little boy, Julian,
end up under your supervision?
1398
01:17:35,192 --> 01:17:38,445
I told Social Services
that my name was Kevin Gerrity.
1399
01:17:38,821 --> 01:17:41,114
- Of course, you are not Kevin Gerrity.
- No.
1400
01:17:41,324 --> 01:17:42,824
- So you lied.
- Yes.
1401
01:17:43,075 --> 01:17:46,077
Like the time I found a bag of pot
in your drawer...
1402
01:17:46,329 --> 01:17:49,122
...and you said you thought
they were pencil shavings.
1403
01:17:49,999 --> 01:17:51,082
Yeah.
1404
01:17:51,584 --> 01:17:54,794
Remember when I told you Aunt Fay
was coming to New York...
1405
01:17:54,962 --> 01:17:57,213
...and I wanted you to
show her the city?
1406
01:17:57,423 --> 01:17:59,924
And you said that you had
better things to do.
1407
01:18:00,134 --> 01:18:01,259
That's right.
1408
01:18:01,469 --> 01:18:05,472
I'm curious. Just what were those
better things that you had to do?
1409
01:18:07,600 --> 01:18:11,644
Jethro Tull had a reunion concert
in New Jersey, so I caught that.
1410
01:18:14,106 --> 01:18:16,358
What happened to Aunt Fay
that weekend?
1411
01:18:17,151 --> 01:18:18,234
She died.
1412
01:18:18,402 --> 01:18:19,444
Yes, she did.
1413
01:18:20,905 --> 01:18:23,448
Did you happen to make it
to her funeral?
1414
01:18:25,159 --> 01:18:28,286
- Why not?
- I went to Jones Beach...
1415
01:18:28,454 --> 01:18:30,163
...got drunk and fell asleep.
1416
01:18:30,414 --> 01:18:31,456
Hell, yes!
1417
01:18:32,666 --> 01:18:33,958
Some role model.
1418
01:18:35,878 --> 01:18:37,170
Your Honor...
1419
01:18:37,880 --> 01:18:39,964
...my son doesn't have
health insurance.
1420
01:18:40,132 --> 01:18:42,133
He doesn't know how to boil an egg.
1421
01:18:42,301 --> 01:18:45,887
He filed for social security
at the age of 30.
1422
01:18:46,430 --> 01:18:49,307
He is a drain on the economy,
on the country...
1423
01:18:49,517 --> 01:18:51,351
...and most of all, on me!
1424
01:18:53,813 --> 01:18:57,315
Your Honor,
to give this young man...
1425
01:18:58,442 --> 01:19:02,320
...custody over another life
is not only wrong...
1426
01:19:02,613 --> 01:19:03,822
...it's insane.
1427
01:19:10,413 --> 01:19:12,664
Hey. I love you.
1428
01:19:13,416 --> 01:19:16,960
- What?
- Don't be scared. It's all right.
1429
01:19:17,128 --> 01:19:18,545
I'm not scared.
1430
01:19:18,754 --> 01:19:21,840
If I get custody of Julian,
I'll be his father forever.
1431
01:19:22,341 --> 01:19:25,969
That scares you because you think
there's a good chance I'll fail.
1432
01:19:26,137 --> 01:19:30,056
Sonny, it's more than a chance.
It's a certainty.
1433
01:19:30,266 --> 01:19:31,516
You're wrong, Dad.
1434
01:19:31,976 --> 01:19:36,229
You can be scared that I might get
pickpocketed in a bad neighborhood...
1435
01:19:36,439 --> 01:19:38,398
...or break my legs skiing.
1436
01:19:38,607 --> 01:19:42,402
But don't be scared about me
being a dad, because I will not fail.
1437
01:19:42,862 --> 01:19:44,612
I love this kid too much.
1438
01:19:44,864 --> 01:19:47,365
I love him as much as
you love me, Dad.
1439
01:19:47,575 --> 01:19:50,243
I'm gonna give him advice
and I'm gonna guide him...
1440
01:19:50,453 --> 01:19:52,662
...and I'll be there
whenever he needs me.
1441
01:19:52,955 --> 01:19:55,748
I'll fly to New York to be
at his court case...
1442
01:19:55,958 --> 01:19:58,918
...even if I disagree with
why he's there.
1443
01:19:59,378 --> 01:20:02,505
But, Sonny, you work in a tollbooth.
1444
01:20:02,798 --> 01:20:04,090
Don't worry about money.
1445
01:20:04,300 --> 01:20:07,594
I am in love with a beautiful girl
who makes plenty of it.
1446
01:20:07,803 --> 01:20:10,138
She'll be my sugar mama.
1447
01:20:11,390 --> 01:20:13,016
I gotta get me one of those.
1448
01:20:14,143 --> 01:20:17,687
I know this is the right thing
because I would die for this kid...
1449
01:20:17,897 --> 01:20:20,440
...just so he won't feel
one ounce of sadness.
1450
01:20:20,649 --> 01:20:25,028
That's why you're here right now,
to protect me, to be scared for me...
1451
01:20:25,321 --> 01:20:27,238
...to be a good father.
1452
01:20:28,240 --> 01:20:30,658
And that's exactly
what I'm gonna be.
1453
01:20:35,206 --> 01:20:36,748
Hello, Dad?
1454
01:20:37,208 --> 01:20:39,584
Yeah, I just
wanted to say I love you.
1455
01:20:39,835 --> 01:20:43,338
Hi, Mom? Could you put Dad
on the phone for a second?
1456
01:20:46,550 --> 01:20:48,551
Can I borrow that
when you're done?
1457
01:20:49,345 --> 01:20:50,929
Your Honor...
1458
01:20:52,181 --> 01:20:53,973
...my son deserves this kid.
1459
01:21:06,111 --> 01:21:07,779
I love you too, sir.
1460
01:21:09,740 --> 01:21:11,324
Mr. Koufax...
1461
01:21:11,825 --> 01:21:14,327
...the fact is
you kidnapped this child.
1462
01:21:14,537 --> 01:21:16,412
Not only
shouldn't you get custody...
1463
01:21:16,622 --> 01:21:19,666
...but since you obtained him
by defrauding the state...
1464
01:21:19,917 --> 01:21:21,960
...you should be in jail.
1465
01:21:22,294 --> 01:21:25,797
Bailiff, remand him until
I can figure out the punishment.
1466
01:21:25,965 --> 01:21:27,966
Wait. You can't take him away.
1467
01:21:29,677 --> 01:21:32,554
As that boy's father,
I refuse to press charges.
1468
01:21:34,848 --> 01:21:37,517
Oh, God. Corinne, I'm sorry.
1469
01:21:37,685 --> 01:21:40,186
Six years ago, Joe Carter...
1470
01:21:40,354 --> 01:21:41,563
Joe Carter?
1471
01:21:41,772 --> 01:21:44,065
Toronto and the Phillies.
World Series.
1472
01:21:44,483 --> 01:21:46,859
Mitch Williams...
We flew up for the night.
1473
01:21:48,487 --> 01:21:51,322
- There was a girl.
- Oh, God.
1474
01:21:51,490 --> 01:21:53,992
I'm an idiot. I was so hammered.
1475
01:21:54,159 --> 01:21:57,370
Chicken wings, Molson 3-0.
Canadian beer is like moonshine.
1476
01:21:57,580 --> 01:21:58,705
Hell, yes.
1477
01:21:58,872 --> 01:22:01,332
You remember?
It was at that Toronto Hooters.
1478
01:22:04,003 --> 01:22:07,839
That was before he met you.
That Hooters thing is a coincidence.
1479
01:22:08,173 --> 01:22:09,549
I'm sorry, Corinne.
1480
01:22:09,717 --> 01:22:13,720
I know this changes everything,
but I had to do the right thing.
1481
01:22:15,723 --> 01:22:17,181
Mr. Castellucci.
1482
01:22:19,018 --> 01:22:21,311
Pending a blood test, I...
1483
01:22:21,478 --> 01:22:22,520
Whatever.
1484
01:22:22,688 --> 01:22:27,609
The court grants custody to Kevin
Gerrity, pending the DNA test results.
1485
01:22:32,406 --> 01:22:35,617
I want you to be my dad, Sonny.
1486
01:22:35,868 --> 01:22:37,869
I know. I do too, pal.
1487
01:22:38,120 --> 01:22:42,206
But I'm not sure that can happen
exactly the way we want it.
1488
01:22:42,416 --> 01:22:45,209
Because it seems you
already have a daddy.
1489
01:22:45,711 --> 01:22:47,754
But I'll tell you what I can do.
1490
01:22:48,047 --> 01:22:51,507
I can be your friend, no matter what.
All right?
1491
01:22:51,717 --> 01:22:53,426
I'll always be your friend.
1492
01:22:53,677 --> 01:22:56,429
I'll always be your family.
I'll always be around.
1493
01:22:56,722 --> 01:22:58,348
I promise.
1494
01:22:58,641 --> 01:23:00,433
The kid's good at tying his shoes.
1495
01:23:00,684 --> 01:23:02,769
He's not great at it,
so work with him.
1496
01:23:02,936 --> 01:23:05,688
- I'll teach him bunny ears.
- What's bunny ears?
1497
01:23:05,898 --> 01:23:08,274
Make bunny ears,
cross and pull them through.
1498
01:23:08,525 --> 01:23:12,028
I go with this loop, swoop
and pull thing. He likes that.
1499
01:23:12,237 --> 01:23:15,073
- I don't know that.
- Go with the loop, swoop and pull.
1500
01:23:15,282 --> 01:23:17,033
I swear to God it's working.
1501
01:23:17,284 --> 01:23:18,451
All right.
1502
01:23:19,036 --> 01:23:23,247
Go with the bunny ears thing.
You're his dad, right? I'm sorry.
1503
01:23:23,415 --> 01:23:26,084
It's important, when you eat
at my restaurant...
1504
01:23:26,293 --> 01:23:28,461
...you never order BLT.
1505
01:23:28,671 --> 01:23:31,297
You must trust me.
Stay away from BLT, okay?
1506
01:23:31,548 --> 01:23:32,632
Hey, guys.
1507
01:23:32,800 --> 01:23:35,426
I'm gonna leave you
with your dad now, Julian.
1508
01:23:35,594 --> 01:23:38,179
He's a good man.
I've known him my whole life.
1509
01:23:38,389 --> 01:23:41,265
So you two have fun
and I'll see you in the morning.
1510
01:23:41,475 --> 01:23:42,684
All right?
1511
01:23:42,893 --> 01:23:46,104
- Quit scaring the kid for a minute.
- Who am I scaring?
1512
01:23:46,313 --> 01:23:47,814
Bye, pal.
1513
01:23:50,067 --> 01:23:51,776
Hey, Julian.
1514
01:23:52,695 --> 01:23:54,946
I went to China.
Do you know where that is?
1515
01:23:55,280 --> 01:23:56,698
It's in Asia, which is...
1516
01:23:56,907 --> 01:23:59,617
...by Europe.
I brought some cool stuff back.
1517
01:24:04,456 --> 01:24:06,332
Did you move the bench?
1518
01:24:07,292 --> 01:24:08,418
That's pretty funny.
1519
01:24:09,586 --> 01:24:12,797
You know what I got?
Some noisemakers. Check this out.
1520
01:24:13,966 --> 01:24:15,341
Wanna try one?
1521
01:24:21,014 --> 01:24:22,515
That's my foot!
1522
01:24:45,664 --> 01:24:46,998
You're nice man.
1523
01:24:47,374 --> 01:24:50,626
I've got Spice Channel.
It's blurry but it's nice.
1524
01:24:53,172 --> 01:24:55,381
Let's make this quick.
I gotta get to work.
1525
01:24:55,549 --> 01:24:58,342
Holy shit. Sonny Koufax
would rather work than eat.
1526
01:24:58,552 --> 01:25:02,847
I'm working on a big case. I gotta
sue you for making me come here.
1527
01:25:06,185 --> 01:25:07,894
Surprise!
1528
01:25:10,564 --> 01:25:13,399
Did you just waste
the good surprise on me again?
1529
01:25:15,319 --> 01:25:16,819
Hi, Corinne.
1530
01:25:17,029 --> 01:25:19,322
- Happy birthday.
- Thanks, everybody.
1531
01:25:19,531 --> 01:25:21,282
Hey, you guys. How are you?
1532
01:25:21,492 --> 01:25:23,367
Happy birthday, Daddy.
1533
01:25:24,870 --> 01:25:26,162
How you doing, cutie?
1534
01:25:26,371 --> 01:25:29,081
Sonny, I beat you so bad
in basketball yesterday.
1535
01:25:29,374 --> 01:25:32,001
From now on, I have to
stop letting you win.
1536
01:25:32,211 --> 01:25:34,295
I stopped that months ago.
He still wins.
1537
01:25:34,505 --> 01:25:36,339
That's because you suck.
1538
01:25:36,882 --> 01:25:40,009
Corinne, put a tank top on
for old time's sake.
1539
01:25:40,219 --> 01:25:42,929
- What is he talking about, Mommy?
- Nothing.
1540
01:25:44,389 --> 01:25:47,099
- Happy birthday, Sonny.
- Thank you.
1541
01:25:47,351 --> 01:25:48,392
It's a clock radio.
1542
01:25:48,602 --> 01:25:50,937
- Thanks for telling me.
- I have to split.
1543
01:25:51,104 --> 01:25:52,271
I got deliveries.
1544
01:25:52,439 --> 01:25:54,440
Hang out with us. We'll have fun.
1545
01:25:54,691 --> 01:25:57,735
No, I can't stay.
I'll hang for a little bit.
1546
01:25:57,903 --> 01:26:00,404
There you go. Come on,
let's eat, everybody.
1547
01:26:00,614 --> 01:26:02,949
Hey, you! Still missing
that tooth, huh?
1548
01:26:03,242 --> 01:26:04,408
Can we get some fries?
1549
01:26:06,328 --> 01:26:08,746
- Vanessa.
- Hi, Sonny.
1550
01:26:08,914 --> 01:26:10,331
You're a Hooters girl?
1551
01:26:10,541 --> 01:26:13,042
What happened
to Sid's five-year plan?
1552
01:26:18,048 --> 01:26:20,049
How you doing?
1553
01:26:20,717 --> 01:26:24,637
- Maybe it's a 10-year plan.
- Is that the guy with the old balls?
1554
01:26:24,847 --> 01:26:25,888
I think it is.
1555
01:26:26,348 --> 01:26:29,100
Come on. I bet they're nice.
1556
01:26:31,937 --> 01:26:35,273
You're not supposed to say "balls."
Testicles. Okay?
1556
01:26:36,305 --> 01:26:42,484
Support us and become VIP member
to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org116705