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Edited at https://subtitletools.com
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SNORING AND WHILSTLING
3
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SNORING CONTINUES
4
00:00:51,718 --> 00:00:53,128
COUGHING AND YAWNING
5
00:00:54,221 --> 00:00:56,883
LAUGHING AND SNORING
6
00:00:56,974 --> 00:00:58,635
WOODY MUMBLES SLEEPILY:
Wood.
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00:00:58,892 --> 00:00:59,927
HE SMACKS LIPS
8
00:01:00,435 --> 00:01:03,051
Peanut butter, oh yeah, peanut butter.
9
00:01:03,146 --> 00:01:04,852
I love peanut butter.
10
00:01:06,191 --> 00:01:07,101
LOUD RUMBLING
11
00:01:07,442 --> 00:01:09,148
Huh? Did you hear that?
12
00:01:09,486 --> 00:01:11,772
Yeah, me too! Better go check it out.
13
00:01:12,990 --> 00:01:14,901
MAN RASPS:
Yeah, no poachin’.
14
00:01:26,086 --> 00:01:28,748
WHOOSHING OF AIR
15
00:01:29,715 --> 00:01:32,707
CRACKLING
16
00:01:37,306 --> 00:01:38,136
Shh!
17
00:01:39,850 --> 00:01:41,932
What ya gotta eat them
damn things for anyway?
18
00:01:42,019 --> 00:01:43,008
You’re gonna rot your teeth.
19
00:01:43,061 --> 00:01:46,974
Poachers! In my forest!
This oughta be fun. Game on.
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HE LAUGHS WILDLY
21
00:01:50,527 --> 00:01:52,358
Hello, boys! Guess who?
22
00:01:52,613 --> 00:01:56,231
What in the hell kinda bird is that?
He sure is angry about somethin’.
23
00:01:56,783 --> 00:01:58,774
NATE:
Well, he ain’t no eagle
24
00:01:59,661 --> 00:02:02,869
but somebody will surely pay
to have it stuffed.
25
00:02:03,498 --> 00:02:06,911
Guns, oh no! Whatever will I do?
26
00:02:09,004 --> 00:02:11,120
Tom, tom, o/e’.l
27
00:02:12,007 --> 00:02:13,963
Come on! That the best ya got?
28
00:02:14,092 --> 00:02:14,956
Shoofl
29
00:02:16,345 --> 00:02:17,380
Over here now!
30
00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:25,343
Nice shot.
Now let’s try this with a moving target.
31
00:02:25,771 --> 00:02:27,261
NATE:
Reload. Reload. Reload.
32
00:02:27,356 --> 00:02:29,062
WOODY:
Yoo—hoo! Lookin’ for me?
33
00:02:29,399 --> 00:02:31,139
Whoa. Too slow. Gotta go.
34
00:02:31,276 --> 00:02:34,734
NATE: Over there. There he is.
- Marco... POLO!
35
00:02:37,407 --> 00:02:39,819
Peek—a—boo! Over here!
- NATE: Gotcha
36
00:02:40,619 --> 00:02:43,611
OK, boys, you got me fair and square.
I give up...
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...not!
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00:02:48,794 --> 00:02:49,783
Nighty—night, boys.
39
00:02:51,421 --> 00:02:52,285
Did ch—you...?
40
00:02:53,173 --> 00:02:54,458
Choo.
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00:02:54,549 --> 00:02:55,504
HE GROANS
42
00:02:56,259 --> 00:02:58,625
And I'm the one
with the brain the size of a walnut?
43
00:02:58,720 --> 00:02:59,755
P—lease!
44
00:03:06,269 --> 00:03:10,103
WOODY LAUGHS
45
00:03:23,078 --> 00:03:26,115
CLAPPING
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00:03:26,289 --> 00:03:27,779
WORKERS:
Speech!Speech!Speech!
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00:03:27,874 --> 00:03:30,616
Alright, alright, alright, alright.
Now raise your glasses
48
00:03:31,044 --> 00:03:33,626
and here’s to our victory
and here’s to our team.
49
00:03:34,005 --> 00:03:37,873
Barb, come on in. Join the party.
- Actually, Lance, we need to talk.
50
00:03:38,844 --> 00:03:39,924
LANCE:
Terminated?
51
00:03:40,178 --> 00:03:43,215
| just won a case for this firm
worth millions and I'm being terminated?
52
00:03:44,641 --> 00:03:47,303
And another thing,
since when do we need to be
53
00:03:47,394 --> 00:03:49,510
so overly concerned
with the rights of Wildlife?
54
00:03:49,730 --> 00:03:50,640
Wildlife don ’t vote.
55
00:03:51,356 --> 00:03:55,520
Wi/d/ife don’t pay taxes!
Big Oil creates big jobs.
56
00:03:55,819 --> 00:03:57,684
When’s the last time
you ever saw a bear create a job?
57
00:03:57,738 --> 00:03:58,602
l...
- TABLET BEEPS
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00:03:59,489 --> 00:04:00,854
Barb, come on!
59
00:04:01,783 --> 00:04:05,321
15 years of busting my butt for this firm
60
00:04:05,412 --> 00:04:08,904
not to mention the biggest case
you’ve ever won
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00:04:09,541 --> 00:04:10,576
and you’re gonna fire me?
62
00:04:12,127 --> 00:04:13,162
VANESSA:
erd?
63
00:04:14,254 --> 00:04:15,664
They can’t do that.
64
00:04:15,964 --> 00:04:18,000
Actually, turns out they can.
65
00:04:18,550 --> 00:04:19,790
SHE SCOFFS
- We will sue.
66
00:04:20,302 --> 00:04:22,384
Sue one of the toughest law firms
in the country?
67
00:04:23,221 --> 00:04:24,176
Not a great idea.
68
00:04:24,848 --> 00:04:26,964
Don’t worry, baby. I got a plan.
69
00:04:28,685 --> 00:04:30,801
Are you going to smear them
on social media?
70
00:04:30,896 --> 00:04:32,761
I was thinking something
a little more mature.
71
00:04:33,064 --> 00:04:33,974
Oh.
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00:04:34,191 --> 00:04:37,103
My grandfather left me
an amazing piece of property
73
00:04:37,194 --> 00:04:38,604
right up near the Canadian border.
74
00:04:38,862 --> 00:04:41,899
We're going to create a country estate.
75
00:04:42,449 --> 00:04:45,941
Look at me. Look what I'm wearing.
l... I can’t. I'm a city girl.
76
00:04:46,328 --> 00:04:48,660
We're not gonna live in it;
We’re gonna flip it.
77
00:04:49,206 --> 00:04:52,118
Take a huge profit.
I'm gonna start my own firm.
78
00:04:52,334 --> 00:04:54,495
Success is the best revenge.
79
00:04:55,045 --> 00:04:58,253
NATE: No... Nope. Mm.
- OTIS: That's it!
80
00:04:58,340 --> 00:04:59,546
That's the one we saw!
- Ooh! Uh
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00:04:59,633 --> 00:05:04,969
"The... The Pileated Red—Crowned Woodpecker.
Thought to be extinct."
82
00:05:05,597 --> 00:05:07,804
Ah, "last one sold
on the black market for..."
83
00:05:08,642 --> 00:05:10,382
HE SPLUTTERS
Look at this
84
00:05:10,602 --> 00:05:14,094
500,000 dollars.
85
00:05:14,356 --> 00:05:17,098
OTIS: Holy moly!
I could buy me that blue suede tux...
86
00:05:17,776 --> 00:05:19,016
or one of them monster trucks.
87
00:05:20,195 --> 00:05:23,278
All I know is that bird is out there
in the woods someplace
88
00:05:23,573 --> 00:05:25,564
just waitin’ for us to bag it.
89
00:05:30,205 --> 00:05:34,494
Ah, home sweet home,
and no one around to bother me!
90
00:05:38,505 --> 00:05:40,621
HE BURPS LOUDLY
91
00:05:46,596 --> 00:05:47,881
This is gonna be great.
92
00:05:48,181 --> 00:05:50,012
I gotta tell ya,
this is the first time in a long time
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00:05:50,100 --> 00:05:51,556
I'm actually excited about something.
94
00:05:51,643 --> 00:05:52,632
SHE GASPS: Careful!
- KNOCKING
95
00:05:54,729 --> 00:05:55,764
Oh.
96
00:05:56,398 --> 00:05:59,060
Lance, look who's here.
97
00:06:04,489 --> 00:06:06,571
May we come in?
- Course.
98
00:06:08,702 --> 00:06:10,033
Hey, Tommy, how you doin’, bud?
99
00:06:10,996 --> 00:06:12,076
LANCE SIGHS
100
00:06:15,542 --> 00:06:18,329
LINDA: My dad is in the hospital.
- Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.
101
00:06:18,420 --> 00:06:21,127
I always liked your dad,
even though he hates my guts.
102
00:06:21,756 --> 00:06:22,962
He doesn’t hate your guts.
103
00:06:23,049 --> 00:06:25,791
No, he told me.
He actually said, “I hate your guts".
104
00:06:25,886 --> 00:06:27,376
It's a little hard to misinterpret that.
105
00:06:27,470 --> 00:06:30,212
Look, I'm leaving on a flight
to Philadelphia at ten o’clock.
106
00:06:30,307 --> 00:06:33,014
I need your help.
I need you to watch Tommy for a while.
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00:06:33,435 --> 00:06:34,470
LANCE:
Uh...
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00:06:36,187 --> 00:06:39,975
I... if this were any other time,
I would be happy to help
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00:06:40,066 --> 00:06:41,681
but this is not any other time.
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00:06:41,776 --> 00:06:44,313
LOUD ROCK MUSIC FROM HEADPHONES
- LINDA: I’m sorry my dad didn’t ask
111
00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:46,895
if it was convenient for you
before he had a stroke.
112
00:06:47,365 --> 00:06:49,230
LANCE: We’re leaving first thing
in the morning
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00:06:49,326 --> 00:06:50,816
starting construction on a big project.
114
00:06:50,911 --> 00:06:54,824
Can't you just take him with you?
- No. I have a family crisis.
115
00:06:55,206 --> 00:06:56,992
You hardly ever see your son.
116
00:06:57,876 --> 00:07:01,494
It is time for you to step up to the plate
and do your part.
117
00:07:01,588 --> 00:07:04,546
You know what, I am sorry, Linda,
the timing is just really bad.
118
00:07:04,633 --> 00:07:07,716
I can’t do it. I'm sorry.
I would like to help you, but I can't
119
00:07:07,802 --> 00:07:08,837
and that's final.
120
00:07:09,888 --> 00:07:12,300
My hands were tied. You saw that.
- Yeah, I know, but...
121
00:07:13,516 --> 00:07:14,756
I'm not a kid person...
122
00:07:16,436 --> 00:07:17,551
even when l was a kid.
123
00:07:17,646 --> 00:07:19,102
LOUD ROCK MUSIC FROM HEADPHONES
124
00:07:19,189 --> 00:07:20,975
# We 're gonna show #
125
00:07:22,567 --> 00:07:25,229
# Everthing that /’m dead into #
126
00:07:25,779 --> 00:07:27,770
# We ’re gonna be... #
127
00:07:28,949 --> 00:07:33,158
TOMMY IMITATES DRUMS WITH MOUTH
128
00:07:33,244 --> 00:07:36,907
I need a Xanny.
I feel a migraine coming on.
129
00:07:41,294 --> 00:07:42,374
LANCE:
Hey, Tommy.
130
00:07:44,881 --> 00:07:46,667
Tommy, take off your headphones, please.
131
00:07:48,093 --> 00:07:50,755
Look, it’s not
that I don’t appreciate the drumming
132
00:07:50,845 --> 00:07:51,880
because it’s...
133
00:07:52,681 --> 00:07:57,266
...awesome, but can you maybe
drop it down a few decibels, please?
134
00:07:57,686 --> 00:07:59,927
Fine. I won’t play ever again.
135
00:08:00,814 --> 00:08:01,894
Happy now, Lance?
136
00:08:02,941 --> 00:08:05,478
Lance? What happened to Dad?
137
00:08:06,027 --> 00:08:07,233
I know you don’t want me here.
138
00:08:07,487 --> 00:08:10,604
The only kid you want in your life
is your girlfriend.
139
00:08:10,699 --> 00:08:13,782
You know what? Vanessa is not a kid.
She’s much...
140
00:08:15,245 --> 00:08:17,452
...much older—ish than you are. Hey...
141
00:08:18,665 --> 00:08:20,155
Look, your mom’s right.
142
00:08:22,127 --> 00:08:24,834
We haven’t had a chance
to spend much time together lately, so...
143
00:08:24,921 --> 00:08:29,540
why don’t you just look at this trip
as a opportunity to bond.
144
00:08:31,553 --> 00:08:33,168
LOUD ROCK MUSIC THROUGH HEADPHONES
145
00:08:34,889 --> 00:08:35,878
Good talking.
146
00:08:51,364 --> 00:08:52,570
LANCE:
Well, we are here.
147
00:08:53,825 --> 00:08:57,067
By here, do you mean,
the middle of nowhere?
148
00:08:57,162 --> 00:08:58,322
Just wait ‘til you see it.
149
00:09:09,424 --> 00:09:11,915
Pristine, untouched.
150
00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:16,090
I cannot wait to get a bulldozer in here
and start building.
151
00:09:16,931 --> 00:09:18,137
Pretty exciting, huh, bud?
152
00:09:18,641 --> 00:09:19,505
Yay.
153
00:09:19,601 --> 00:09:20,636
I'm telling you, baby
154
00:09:21,269 --> 00:09:24,602
if a house on this site
does not quadruple our investment
155
00:09:24,689 --> 00:09:25,553
I don’t know what will.
156
00:09:25,857 --> 00:09:26,892
Come on, lemme show you.
157
00:09:26,983 --> 00:09:28,689
VANESSA:
Uh, Lance, these shoes...
158
00:09:28,777 --> 00:09:30,688
Baby, wait,
my shoes are not made for that!
159
00:09:30,779 --> 00:09:33,395
LANCE: OK, so the front door
is gonna be somewhere about here
160
00:09:33,907 --> 00:09:36,523
and then... boom!
161
00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:40,197
Two—story vaulted ceilings,
stunning view of the river
162
00:09:40,371 --> 00:09:42,657
opens up to a state—of—the—art kitchen.
163
00:09:43,875 --> 00:09:45,411
TOMMY: Awesome!
- I know. Right?
164
00:09:45,835 --> 00:09:47,075
I'm getting five bars!
165
00:09:47,629 --> 00:09:49,961
Five bars, uh, that is awesome.
166
00:09:50,799 --> 00:09:51,959
Ah!
167
00:09:53,009 --> 00:09:53,873
LANCE:
Let’s go!
168
00:09:53,968 --> 00:09:56,926
This place really needs to be fumigated.
169
00:09:57,514 --> 00:09:59,050
WOODY:
Ooh—hoo—hoo—hoo!
170
00:09:59,641 --> 00:10:01,927
Oh, campers, how do I love thee?
171
00:10:02,018 --> 00:10:03,428
Let me count the ways.
172
00:10:03,645 --> 00:10:07,729
There’s granola bars, corn chips,
ice cream, snack cakes, corn nuts
173
00:10:07,941 --> 00:10:09,272
etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.
174
00:10:21,037 --> 00:10:22,402
INTRIGUING MUSIC
175
00:10:49,732 --> 00:10:52,098
DRAMATIC MUSIC
176
00:10:57,490 --> 00:10:58,354
Grill’s ready.
177
00:11:02,954 --> 00:11:04,785
Don’t you dare post that.
- TOMMY: Too late.
178
00:11:05,498 --> 00:11:08,661
Hashtag epic dad grill fail.
179
00:11:08,751 --> 00:11:11,743
Oh, it is so coffee o’clock.
180
00:11:12,297 --> 00:11:14,083
LANCE: Will you make me
a double macchiato, please?
181
00:11:14,174 --> 00:11:15,004
Sure, dear.
182
00:11:15,091 --> 00:11:16,627
CAR HORN HONKS
183
00:11:20,555 --> 00:11:22,045
Hi, there.
- Hi.
184
00:11:22,140 --> 00:11:23,220
Hey, welcome.
185
00:11:24,642 --> 00:11:26,803
You must be Ben Walters’ grandson.
186
00:11:27,770 --> 00:11:28,680
How’d you know that?
187
00:11:29,022 --> 00:11:30,808
Cos you look exactly like him,
spittin’ image.
188
00:11:31,733 --> 00:11:33,849
You knew my grandfather?
- He came up every summer.
189
00:11:34,736 --> 00:11:36,226
Taught me how to fish on this river.
190
00:11:37,572 --> 00:11:38,607
No kidding.
191
00:11:38,823 --> 00:11:40,108
Shoot, where are my manners?
192
00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:42,486
I'm Sam Bartlett, Park Ranger
in charge of the state land
193
00:11:42,577 --> 00:11:44,659
that surrounds your property.
- Lance Walters.
194
00:11:44,913 --> 00:11:46,904
This is my fiancée, Vanessa.
- Hi.
195
00:11:47,332 --> 00:11:50,495
That’s my son Tommy,
the mythical half—boy, half smart—phone.
196
00:11:50,585 --> 00:11:52,075
GAME SOUND EFFECTS
197
00:11:52,170 --> 00:11:53,706
Just swung by on my rounds.
198
00:11:53,838 --> 00:11:55,920
We’ve had a problem
with bird poachers in the area
199
00:11:56,007 --> 00:11:58,999
so if you see anyone suspicious,
please, lemme know.
200
00:11:59,844 --> 00:12:02,256
Will do.
- I hear you’re building a house up here.
201
00:12:02,347 --> 00:12:04,258
Breaking ground tomorrow.
You wanna see it?
202
00:12:05,225 --> 00:12:07,841
DRUM ROLL
203
00:12:10,063 --> 00:12:12,304
It's... very blue.
204
00:12:12,899 --> 00:12:15,390
5000 square feet
and every amenity.
205
00:12:16,027 --> 00:12:17,517
And I'm decorating it.
206
00:12:17,737 --> 00:12:18,852
Yeah, you are.
207
00:12:18,947 --> 00:12:22,690
5000 square feet for three people?
Hope you won’t be cramped.
208
00:12:22,784 --> 00:12:25,651
Oh, no, well, we’re not building it
to live in. I mean...
209
00:12:26,329 --> 00:12:29,071
Live here? Ugh, get real.
SHE LAUGHS
210
00:12:29,165 --> 00:12:31,281
It’s an investment property.
We’re gonna flip it.
211
00:12:31,376 --> 00:12:35,369
I see. Don’t you think it’ll kind of
overwhelm the landscape?
212
00:12:36,589 --> 00:12:38,204
LANCE:
Got government land on all sides.
213
00:12:38,299 --> 00:12:42,087
Yeah. Not like there are
any neighbours to complain.
214
00:12:42,428 --> 00:12:45,386
All I'm saying is if you were
to build something a bit more modest
215
00:12:45,473 --> 00:12:49,341
you’d preserve these old growth trees
and be a lot more green—minded.
216
00:12:49,602 --> 00:12:52,639
Well, it’s my land, so I'm pretty sure
I can build however I want
217
00:12:52,939 --> 00:12:55,225
but don’t worry,
I’ll leave plenty of trees for you to hug.
218
00:12:56,943 --> 00:12:59,650
Well, let me know if you see any poachers
219
00:13:00,488 --> 00:13:02,649
and good luck with this...
220
00:13:03,783 --> 00:13:05,023
Death Star you’re building.
221
00:13:08,121 --> 00:13:09,156
Nice meeting you.
222
00:13:11,916 --> 00:13:12,780
CAR DOOR CLOSES
223
00:13:12,875 --> 00:13:15,912
Who she think she is?
- I like her. She’s cool.
224
00:13:17,755 --> 00:13:18,961
Don’t worry about it, baby.
225
00:13:21,426 --> 00:13:23,508
Hey, Tommy,
come help me with this stupid grill.
226
00:13:24,470 --> 00:13:26,552
Um, sounds like fun...
227
00:13:27,515 --> 00:13:30,427
...Lance,
but I think I'm gonna go explore a little.
228
00:13:31,311 --> 00:13:33,893
Like you say,
can’t play video games all the time.
229
00:13:35,523 --> 00:13:36,933
Chip off the ol’ block.
230
00:13:37,734 --> 00:13:38,940
Part boy, part lawyer.
231
00:13:41,779 --> 00:13:43,690
How the heck does this thing work?
232
00:13:44,282 --> 00:13:47,069
ROCK MUSIC
233
00:13:51,956 --> 00:13:52,991
# You win #
234
00:13:53,750 --> 00:13:54,865
# /give up #
235
00:13:55,626 --> 00:13:57,491
# Can you leave me alone now? #
236
00:13:58,796 --> 00:13:59,911
#lcan see #
237
00:14:00,465 --> 00:14:01,545
# What you want #
238
00:14:02,300 --> 00:14:04,291
# And it’s open—dated #
239
00:14:04,385 --> 00:14:08,549
RHYTHMIC TAPPING ECHOES
240
00:14:08,681 --> 00:14:09,545
# Stop try... #
241
00:14:09,891 --> 00:14:12,974
RHYTHMIC TAPPING ECHOES
242
00:14:20,068 --> 00:14:22,229
TAPPING IMITATES TOMMY'S DRUMMING
243
00:14:27,033 --> 00:14:30,742
TAPPING IMITATES DRUMMING
244
00:14:30,828 --> 00:14:31,863
LOUD CRASH
245
00:14:32,205 --> 00:14:33,069
WOODY GRUNTS
246
00:14:33,456 --> 00:14:34,286
Whoa.
247
00:14:38,002 --> 00:14:39,492
What the heck are you?
248
00:14:39,587 --> 00:14:42,750
Now it’s your turn.
Come on, kid, show me what you got!
249
00:14:42,840 --> 00:14:44,501
HE LAUGHS AND STOMPS RHYTHMICALLY
250
00:14:49,722 --> 00:14:51,758
Uh—huh, uh—huh. Yeah!
251
00:14:51,849 --> 00:14:53,339
WOODY HUMS PERCUSSIVELY
252
00:14:54,352 --> 00:14:56,343
Wa—wa—wa—wa! Wa—wa—wa—wa, wa wa!
253
00:14:56,938 --> 00:14:58,769
HE IMITATES RECORD SCRATCHING
254
00:15:02,860 --> 00:15:03,849
Ah—ah!
255
00:15:03,945 --> 00:15:04,775
What? What?
256
00:15:05,071 --> 00:15:05,901
Ta—da!
257
00:15:06,239 --> 00:15:10,198
Wow! You are really cool for a woodpecker.
258
00:15:10,576 --> 00:15:12,112
HE SN|FFS WILDLY
259
00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:16,700
Are those Peanut Butter Bonkers?!
I'm a sucker for Peanut Butter!
260
00:15:16,791 --> 00:15:19,407
Come on, brother, share the wealth,
spread the love, hook me up.
261
00:15:19,669 --> 00:15:20,909
What are you tryin’ to tell me?
262
00:15:21,003 --> 00:15:23,585
Humans,
you gotta spell everything out for them.
263
00:15:27,593 --> 00:15:29,879
Oh, you’re hungry.
264
00:15:30,096 --> 00:15:32,712
You want a Peanut Butter Bonker?
- Does a woodpecker peck in the woods?
265
00:15:35,143 --> 00:15:36,007
Whoa!
266
00:15:36,102 --> 00:15:37,592
WOODY LAUGHS WILDLY
267
00:15:37,687 --> 00:15:39,018
Wahoo!
268
00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:40,390
Wow!
269
00:15:40,481 --> 00:15:41,436
Do you like that, huh?
270
00:15:41,691 --> 00:15:43,602
Even better than beetle larva
271
00:15:43,860 --> 00:15:46,067
which, if you haven’t tried,
is quite good when in season.
272
00:15:46,446 --> 00:15:48,186
Have another?
- Don’t gotta ask me twice.
273
00:15:52,326 --> 00:15:53,441
Uh.
274
00:15:53,744 --> 00:15:54,608
It's OK.
275
00:15:55,413 --> 00:15:56,277
HE GRUNTS
276
00:15:56,372 --> 00:15:58,033
SOFT MUSIC
277
00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:00,285
HE SIGHS
278
00:16:00,793 --> 00:16:02,249
MUSIC GRINDS TO A HALT
279
00:16:02,336 --> 00:16:04,327
Hey, don’t let the mushy music fool ya.
280
00:16:04,464 --> 00:16:07,547
We’re not friends or anything.
I'm only doing this for the free food.
281
00:16:07,633 --> 00:16:08,748
SOFT MUSIC STARTS UP AGAIN
282
00:16:09,802 --> 00:16:11,633
I'm gonna call you Woody.
283
00:16:11,721 --> 00:16:14,133
Huh?
- You like that name? Woody?
284
00:16:14,599 --> 00:16:17,261
I'm gonna call you
Kid Who Just Ran Outta Bonkers.
285
00:16:17,435 --> 00:16:18,299
See ya.
286
00:16:22,815 --> 00:16:24,931
Well, I hope everyone is hungry.
287
00:16:25,818 --> 00:16:29,185
I wanted our first night in the wilderness
to be a little less wild.
288
00:16:30,031 --> 00:16:32,443
Got any pizza?
- No I don’t have any pizza. Do...
289
00:16:33,242 --> 00:16:34,573
This is much better than pizza.
290
00:16:34,660 --> 00:16:36,525
Nothing is better than pizza.
291
00:16:36,621 --> 00:16:39,704
Well, I think it looks
absolutely delicious, Lance.
292
00:16:39,790 --> 00:16:40,825
Thank you, baby.
293
00:16:41,042 --> 00:16:44,000
Here’s to me building
and you designing something amazing.
294
00:16:44,086 --> 00:16:45,292
Amazing.
- Cheers.
295
00:16:46,005 --> 00:16:47,541
Here. Cheers. Wh...?
296
00:16:48,466 --> 00:16:49,455
Well, come on, clink it.
297
00:16:51,511 --> 00:16:52,717
WOODY: Hiya, campers!
- Aah!
298
00:16:52,887 --> 00:16:55,503
Sorry I'm late! Traffic.
800, what’s for dinner?
299
00:16:55,723 --> 00:16:57,714
Mm. Good to see you again,
Kid Who Gives Me Food.
300
00:16:57,808 --> 00:17:00,720
What is that thing?
- It’s OK. I... I met him in the forest.
301
00:17:01,062 --> 00:17:02,802
He’s friendly. I named him Woody.
302
00:17:03,397 --> 00:17:05,638
WOODY PANTS AND BARKS
303
00:17:05,733 --> 00:17:07,644
What are you doing? Don’t feed it!
We’ll never get rid of it!
304
00:17:07,735 --> 00:17:08,645
WOODY PANTS
305
00:17:08,986 --> 00:17:11,728
Stay away from him!
You don’t know where it’s been!
306
00:17:11,822 --> 00:17:14,905
And I have no idea where you’ve been,
sweetheart.
307
00:17:14,992 --> 00:17:16,732
He’s practically tame.
308
00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:18,492
Yeah, as long as you feed me.
309
00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:21,071
OK, who cut the cheese?
310
00:17:21,415 --> 00:17:22,905
Whoever did it, did a great job.
311
00:17:24,168 --> 00:17:26,204
Uh... Get... Lance, get... Get rid of it!
312
00:17:26,921 --> 00:17:28,161
Shoo!Shoo!
313
00:17:28,756 --> 00:17:29,871
Get outta here! Go!
314
00:17:29,966 --> 00:17:31,706
You know, it’s so funny
when they try to fly.
315
00:17:31,801 --> 00:17:33,587
You don’t have wings, you dummy.
- Get outta here!
316
00:17:33,928 --> 00:17:34,792
Mm. Beans.
317
00:17:34,887 --> 00:17:37,629
Get rid of it! Do something!
- OK. OK. OK, OK, OK.
318
00:17:38,057 --> 00:17:41,140
Beans, beans, the musical fruit,
the more you eat, the more you...
319
00:17:41,227 --> 00:17:44,219
HE FARTS AND LAUGHS
320
00:17:44,814 --> 00:17:45,974
Ugh! Disgusting!
321
00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:48,180
I think he’s awesome.
- WOODY: Mm—hm.
322
00:17:48,276 --> 00:17:49,356
HE GASPS: Whoa!
- Get outta here.
323
00:17:49,694 --> 00:17:51,810
You know,
I'm sensing a little hostility here.
324
00:17:52,029 --> 00:17:53,894
Hey, stop. He’s not hurting anyone.
325
00:17:54,323 --> 00:17:56,359
You got somethin’ in your hair.
- Ow! Ow! Sh...
326
00:17:57,493 --> 00:18:00,235
Missed me. Whoa, is it something I said?
327
00:18:00,329 --> 00:18:01,364
H—yah!
- Woo—ha!
328
00:18:01,455 --> 00:18:04,288
Woo! Yoo—hoo!
Over here you big featherless freak!
329
00:18:04,667 --> 00:18:06,578
VANESSA SCREAMS
- Oh. Oh. Oh, baby!
330
00:18:06,669 --> 00:18:08,284
WOODY: See you at breakfast!
- LANCE: Oh no!
331
00:18:08,504 --> 00:18:09,710
VANESSA: You hit me!
332
00:18:10,172 --> 00:18:12,288
LANCE: Baby, I'm so sorry.
OK. It was an accident.
333
00:18:12,425 --> 00:18:14,837
Oh, lemme see, lemme see, lemme see.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
334
00:18:15,678 --> 00:18:17,043
Are you OK? Are you OK?
335
00:18:17,305 --> 00:18:18,545
Look, let's just eat our...
336
00:18:19,348 --> 00:18:20,212
dinner...
337
00:18:21,517 --> 00:18:22,552
Ow!
338
00:18:23,352 --> 00:18:25,968
WOODY LAUGHS IN DISTANCE
339
00:18:32,570 --> 00:18:33,935
LOUD RHYTHMIC PECKING
340
00:18:42,371 --> 00:18:44,202
HE SIGHS
341
00:18:47,918 --> 00:18:50,955
PECKING CONTINUES
342
00:18:59,722 --> 00:19:00,632
Can you not hear that?
343
00:19:00,723 --> 00:19:03,635
RHYTHMIC PECKING
344
00:19:03,809 --> 00:19:05,720
That woman could sleep
through a hurricane.
345
00:19:06,312 --> 00:19:08,052
Can you believe that stupid bird?
346
00:19:09,482 --> 00:19:10,517
Tommy?
347
00:19:15,237 --> 00:19:17,068
WOODY HUMS SAMBA TUNE
Ba—dub, bub, dub, bub, dub, da!
348
00:19:17,156 --> 00:19:18,441
Ba—dee,bee,bee,bee,bee,ba!
349
00:19:19,283 --> 00:19:20,318
Mm, mm, mm, ah!
350
00:19:20,493 --> 00:19:21,983
Dub, dub, dub, dub, dub, hey!
351
00:19:23,412 --> 00:19:24,276
Shoo!
352
00:19:25,164 --> 00:19:26,199
Get outta here!
353
00:19:26,749 --> 00:19:27,613
Go on. Beat it!
354
00:19:28,542 --> 00:19:29,827
Go find somewhere else to peck.
355
00:19:30,044 --> 00:19:31,454
Go find somewhere else to sleep.
356
00:19:31,712 --> 00:19:34,169
Around here,
I'm at the top of the pecking order.
357
00:19:34,548 --> 00:19:36,209
LANCE:
I said beat it!
358
00:19:36,300 --> 00:19:37,790
BASEBALL CHARGE MUSIC
- He makes the catch
359
00:19:37,885 --> 00:19:40,501
and the crowd goes wild!
Woo—hoo—hoo—hoo—hoo!
360
00:19:40,763 --> 00:19:42,628
Gimme that back right now!
361
00:19:45,810 --> 00:19:49,428
RHYTMIC PECKING
- HE SIGHS
362
00:19:55,903 --> 00:19:58,189
Good day, Mr Walters.
Ready to break ground?
363
00:19:58,280 --> 00:19:59,235
I sure am, George.
364
00:19:59,323 --> 00:20:01,109
Remember, I want this house
on the market by fall
365
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:02,406
so it needs to be done quickly.
366
00:20:02,493 --> 00:20:04,825
Well, for enough money,
anything can be done quickly
367
00:20:04,995 --> 00:20:06,155
even out here in the sticks.
368
00:20:06,247 --> 00:20:07,282
Well, that is good to hear
369
00:20:07,373 --> 00:20:09,785
cos according to my schedule,
you’re already 20 minutes behind.
370
00:20:09,875 --> 00:20:12,082
Your schedule?
- Oh, I am hands on, George.
371
00:20:12,169 --> 00:20:15,787
I'm gonna ride your crew.
- Super! They’ll love that.
372
00:20:15,965 --> 00:20:18,297
And by the study fireplace
373
00:20:18,384 --> 00:20:21,467
l was thinking
twin zebra sheepskin chairs.
374
00:20:21,554 --> 00:20:25,467
They’ll be a nice contrast
to the crested butte cigar leather sofas.
375
00:20:25,641 --> 00:20:29,634
And, of course,
the thirty—light elk antler chandelier
376
00:20:29,895 --> 00:20:31,510
will tie it all together.
377
00:20:31,981 --> 00:20:35,519
And, I want it all done in eight weeks.
378
00:20:36,068 --> 00:20:38,400
That’s really not enough time.
- Money is no object.
379
00:20:39,864 --> 00:20:41,695
Consider it done.
- VANESSA: Thank you.
380
00:20:42,533 --> 00:20:43,568
Lance,honey
381
00:20:44,034 --> 00:20:47,447
I’ve decided on volcanic stone
for the kitchen counters. Mm?
382
00:20:48,247 --> 00:20:49,282
Great. B...
383
00:20:49,373 --> 00:20:51,739
Baby, aren’t those
the most expensive counters in the world?
384
00:20:52,376 --> 00:20:54,992
Well, duh, the best usually is.
385
00:20:56,464 --> 00:20:57,328
Come, see.
386
00:20:57,715 --> 00:20:59,876
OK, honey.
- VANESSA: That's so exciting.
387
00:20:59,967 --> 00:21:02,709
Hey, Tommy,
you wanna watch the excavation?
388
00:21:03,471 --> 00:21:04,961
Hm. Lemme think about it...
389
00:21:05,389 --> 00:21:06,424
No.
390
00:21:07,808 --> 00:21:10,675
OK, I’ll take that no as a no.
391
00:21:20,362 --> 00:21:21,397
WOODY YAWNS
392
00:21:21,489 --> 00:21:23,354
Can’t a bird catch some Zs around here?
393
00:21:23,949 --> 00:21:26,486
Huh? Hey! What’s the big idea?!
394
00:21:29,663 --> 00:21:30,869
WORKER SHOUTS
Watch it! Watch it!
395
00:21:35,085 --> 00:21:39,203
Wait a minute. They’re not camping;
They’re moving in.
396
00:21:39,548 --> 00:21:42,210
No, no, no, no, no! This is my forest.
397
00:21:42,593 --> 00:21:44,254
Time for an eviction notice.
398
00:21:45,429 --> 00:21:46,794
Hey! Yeah, you!
399
00:21:47,973 --> 00:21:50,305
Get off my lawn, punk!
400
00:21:51,727 --> 00:21:53,092
WORKER CRIES OUT
401
00:21:54,230 --> 00:21:55,595
WORKER: Hey! Relax!
402
00:21:56,148 --> 00:21:57,604
LANCE: No!
- Knock knock.
403
00:21:57,691 --> 00:21:58,976
Who’s there? Pee?
404
00:21:59,443 --> 00:22:01,775
Pee who? Pee—yew!
405
00:22:03,155 --> 00:22:04,486
Somebody get that bird!
406
00:22:04,573 --> 00:22:08,031
WOODY: Let’s see who’s next, shall we?
Eeny, meeny, miny... MOE!
407
00:22:08,452 --> 00:22:09,316
Baby.
408
00:22:11,580 --> 00:22:13,070
Baby,baby.
- WOODY: Bombs away!
409
00:22:13,165 --> 00:22:14,871
The bird!
- LANCE: Oh.
410
00:22:14,959 --> 00:22:16,665
WOODY: How was that
for an eviction notice?
411
00:22:16,752 --> 00:22:17,616
No! No!
412
00:22:17,920 --> 00:22:19,581
The good thing about a high fibre diet...
413
00:22:19,922 --> 00:22:21,458
HE CHUCKLES
...it keeps ya regular.
414
00:22:24,885 --> 00:22:25,749
Whoa!
415
00:22:26,804 --> 00:22:28,044
That’ll buff right out.
416
00:22:28,472 --> 00:22:30,428
SHESOBS
- Oh, baby.
417
00:22:31,267 --> 00:22:32,632
Don’t you “baby” me!
418
00:22:34,520 --> 00:22:37,432
VANESSA RANTS IN OTHER LANGUAGE
419
00:22:37,523 --> 00:22:39,263
Well, the bad news is
420
00:22:39,358 --> 00:22:42,316
you’re encroaching on the habitat
of a very territorial bird.
421
00:22:44,196 --> 00:22:45,231
No kidding.
422
00:22:46,949 --> 00:22:48,485
Well, don’t worry about the window.
423
00:22:49,743 --> 00:22:51,108
We’ll just add that to the bill.
424
00:22:54,498 --> 00:22:55,829
LOUD PECKING
425
00:22:59,712 --> 00:23:00,872
PECKING CONTINUES
426
00:23:04,675 --> 00:23:06,711
Would you keep it down out here?
427
00:23:09,013 --> 00:23:10,298
You see?
- Shh.
428
00:23:10,389 --> 00:23:11,970
WOODY SNIGGERS
- That’s much better.
429
00:23:33,954 --> 00:23:34,989
Tommy, open the door!
430
00:23:36,290 --> 00:23:37,154
Tommy?
431
00:23:37,249 --> 00:23:38,614
MUSIC: "Rejected" by Kingsley
432
00:23:38,667 --> 00:23:42,706
# Always the same
Ain ’t never gonna change your story #
433
00:23:44,298 --> 00:23:48,758
# Well, you don ’t believe me
You don ’t believe me no more./ #
434
00:23:49,136 --> 00:23:51,127
# You ’re so rejected #
435
00:23:51,221 --> 00:23:54,429
# Are you the one who ’3 never rejected? #
436
00:23:54,516 --> 00:23:57,883
# Am / the one that you never mention? #
437
00:23:57,978 --> 00:24:00,685
# is he the one you ’re leaving for me? #
438
00:24:00,773 --> 00:24:04,106
# Or am / just one of your fantasies? #
439
00:24:04,401 --> 00:24:07,609
TUNING GUITAR
440
00:24:11,867 --> 00:24:14,574
You planning on buyin’ it
or just tuning it to death?
441
00:24:14,912 --> 00:24:17,449
Uh, sorry, I was just browsing. Um...
442
00:24:17,706 --> 00:24:19,446
Don’t sweat it. Play away.
443
00:24:21,919 --> 00:24:23,580
l'm Jill.
- Uh, l'm Tommy.
444
00:24:23,879 --> 00:24:25,244
Are you visiting?
- TOMMY: Yeah.
445
00:24:25,339 --> 00:24:28,957
My dad's building this house by the river.
- Oh, man!
446
00:24:29,051 --> 00:24:31,292
That mega—mansion
everyone’s talking about?
447
00:24:31,679 --> 00:24:33,294
Yeah, that would be it.
448
00:24:34,223 --> 00:24:35,554
So you interested in it?
449
00:24:35,641 --> 00:24:38,849
Uh, this is a really...
This is a really sweet guitar.
450
00:24:39,228 --> 00:24:40,263
I helped restore it.
451
00:24:40,938 --> 00:24:43,350
The guy who sold it to us
was a roadie for Springsteen.
452
00:24:43,857 --> 00:24:46,940
Who knows,
Springsteen himself may have played it.
453
00:24:47,027 --> 00:24:48,142
Or at least breathed near it.
454
00:24:49,780 --> 00:24:53,693
HE PLAYS ROCK RIFF
455
00:24:56,120 --> 00:24:58,361
You're not bad. Not bad at all.
456
00:24:58,455 --> 00:25:01,037
Thanks, I’ve been taking lessons
for a couple years.
457
00:25:01,667 --> 00:25:04,283
Uh, but, I left my guitar at home, so...
458
00:25:04,378 --> 00:25:08,041
I can make you a really sweet deal
on that guitar if you like.
459
00:25:09,174 --> 00:25:13,133
My dad is the one with the coin.
I'm pretty much broke.
460
00:25:13,429 --> 00:25:15,761
Maybe we can work something out.
461
00:25:16,140 --> 00:25:17,926
My friend Lyle and l have a band.
462
00:25:18,017 --> 00:25:21,225
He plays the drums, I play bass, but...
463
00:25:21,311 --> 00:25:23,643
You need a guitarist?
- Yeah.
464
00:25:25,024 --> 00:25:28,266
The town’s annual Firefly Festival’s
at the end of the month.
465
00:25:28,527 --> 00:25:30,358
We really wanna play there.
466
00:25:31,196 --> 00:25:32,231
If you help us out
467
00:25:32,698 --> 00:25:35,610
I’ll lend you that guitar for free
for the whole summer.
468
00:25:36,702 --> 00:25:39,819
You interested?
- Uh, yeah, totally!
469
00:25:49,089 --> 00:25:49,953
Hey!
470
00:25:50,674 --> 00:25:51,754
This is our road
471
00:25:51,842 --> 00:25:53,958
and we didn’t give you permission
to use it!
472
00:25:54,803 --> 00:25:58,796
Um, actually, this is a public road
built with government funds
473
00:25:58,891 --> 00:25:59,880
and it belongs to everyone.
474
00:26:00,142 --> 00:26:03,009
So technically you are correct.
It is yours, but it’s also mine.
475
00:26:03,395 --> 00:26:04,851
Hey, you don’t get off that easy!
476
00:26:05,189 --> 00:26:07,475
Look, I don’t know what I did
to offend you guys
477
00:26:07,566 --> 00:26:08,851
but whatever it is, I’ll stop.
478
00:26:09,068 --> 00:26:11,309
Course you will.
You’ll be too busy crying!
479
00:26:11,820 --> 00:26:15,062
Seriously, doesn’t your school
have an anti—bullying policy?
480
00:26:15,157 --> 00:26:17,193
Sure does.
That’s exactly why we got kicked out.
481
00:26:17,367 --> 00:26:18,447
Right, John? High five!
482
00:26:19,870 --> 00:26:22,077
Ooh! Look, a guitar.
- Hey, give that back!
483
00:26:23,707 --> 00:26:24,742
BULLY SHOUTS OUT
484
00:26:25,084 --> 00:26:28,121
What was that?
- Whatever it was, it clawed me!
485
00:26:28,212 --> 00:26:30,453
WOODY: Ba, bu—da—ba—ba, ba, ba, ba!
- Woody!
486
00:26:30,547 --> 00:26:33,129
Now as for you two, where were we?
487
00:26:34,051 --> 00:26:35,257
THEY CRY OUT
488
00:26:39,181 --> 00:26:41,012
Get ready to go commando!
489
00:26:41,433 --> 00:26:42,889
HE SCREAMS
Oh, this bird’s psycho!
490
00:26:42,976 --> 00:26:44,261
HE SCREAMS
491
00:26:46,146 --> 00:26:47,932
TOMMY:
Woody, that was awesome!
492
00:26:48,565 --> 00:26:50,055
You went all MMA on ‘em!
493
00:26:50,150 --> 00:26:52,391
Nobody messes with my BFF—
494
00:26:52,778 --> 00:26:55,064
and by that I mean Bringer of Free Food.
See ya!
495
00:26:55,447 --> 00:26:57,563
Oh, come on, George,
you gotta be kidding me.
496
00:26:57,991 --> 00:26:59,947
GEORGE: N0.
- LANCE: Well, why am I paying for that?
497
00:27:00,035 --> 00:27:03,027
GEORGE: Your bird did a number on us.
- It is not my bird.
498
00:27:03,831 --> 00:27:08,040
Fine, fine. Just every day out here
is costing me money.
499
00:27:08,168 --> 00:27:09,032
INDISTINCT REPLY
500
00:27:09,128 --> 00:27:11,039
Yeah... Great, thank you.
501
00:27:12,631 --> 00:27:14,212
Hey, buddy, where you been?
- Town.
502
00:27:14,883 --> 00:27:18,046
LANCE: Where’d that come from?
- I'm starting a band with a girl I met.
503
00:27:18,345 --> 00:27:20,301
LANCE: Oh.
- Oh, fun fact:
504
00:27:20,389 --> 00:27:22,004
I almost got my butt kicked
on the way home.
505
00:27:22,683 --> 00:27:24,014
What are you talking about? By who?
506
00:27:24,685 --> 00:27:26,767
A couple of Neanderthal kids.
507
00:27:27,563 --> 00:27:29,099
It’s OK because Woody saved me.
508
00:27:30,107 --> 00:27:31,563
Who's Woody?
- The woodpecker.
509
00:27:31,942 --> 00:27:35,685
Bu—bu—bu—bu—bu—bu!
Do not mention that stupid bird!
510
00:27:36,363 --> 00:27:37,443
Stupid?
- VANESSA: Yeah.
511
00:27:37,781 --> 00:27:41,649
Last I remember, that stupid bird
wasn’t the one covered in bird poop.
512
00:27:42,119 --> 00:27:45,236
You know what? That’s enough outta you.
You're on a time out. Go to you room.
513
00:27:45,622 --> 00:27:47,112
I don’t have a room.
514
00:27:47,875 --> 00:27:49,081
Then go into the RV.
515
00:27:49,418 --> 00:27:50,282
Fine.
516
00:27:51,461 --> 00:27:53,452
Oh, and in case you were wondering
517
00:27:53,881 --> 00:27:56,918
nobody in town is happy
about us building a house up here.
518
00:28:00,554 --> 00:28:02,886
Can you believe that?
- I know, what is wrong with these people?
519
00:28:02,973 --> 00:28:05,931
Don’t they understand how great this is
gonna be for their property values?
520
00:28:06,018 --> 00:28:07,224
No, Lance
521
00:28:08,020 --> 00:28:10,978
I'm talking about how disrespectful
your son is to me.
522
00:28:11,273 --> 00:28:13,764
Oh... Yeah, that.
523
00:28:14,067 --> 00:28:15,978
This isn’t what I signed up for, OK?
524
00:28:16,778 --> 00:28:19,986
Being a stepmom to a bratty kid
who hates me.
525
00:28:20,324 --> 00:28:22,280
Baby, he doesn't hate you.
- He hates me.
526
00:28:22,659 --> 00:28:24,399
If anything, he’s just mad at me.
527
00:28:26,038 --> 00:28:27,073
He’s just acting out.
528
00:28:27,539 --> 00:28:30,451
I know this is difficult,
but you’ve just gotta be patient.
529
00:28:31,627 --> 00:28:33,993
You’ll see. We’re gonna get
our old life back in no time.
530
00:28:34,588 --> 00:28:35,577
I promise.
531
00:28:36,506 --> 00:28:37,370
Hm.
532
00:28:43,055 --> 00:28:44,636
WOODY:
Wakey, wakey.
533
00:28:45,140 --> 00:28:46,380
Here’s Woody!
534
00:28:47,643 --> 00:28:48,849
Ow! Ow! Ow!
535
00:28:49,561 --> 00:28:50,425
HE LAUGHS
536
00:28:53,398 --> 00:28:54,433
That is it!
537
00:28:55,651 --> 00:28:57,107
I am finished with you!
538
00:28:58,320 --> 00:28:59,981
Now, maybe you didn’t get the memo!
539
00:29:00,906 --> 00:29:05,696
But, man, not wildlife,
is top of the food chain!
540
00:29:06,453 --> 00:29:12,164
So if I were you, I would get outta here
before you land on my rotisserie!
541
00:29:12,417 --> 00:29:14,658
If it's the last thing I...
- Nice rant. Easy to dance to.
542
00:29:14,753 --> 00:29:16,038
I’d give it a seven.
- Hey!
543
00:29:17,047 --> 00:29:18,082
WOODY LAUGHS
544
00:29:18,548 --> 00:29:21,085
Yeah, you better fly outta here!
- WOODY: Yeah right!
545
00:29:22,761 --> 00:29:25,173
Really? A pinecone?
546
00:29:25,722 --> 00:29:26,586
How pathet...
547
00:29:28,934 --> 00:29:31,801
WOODY LAUGHS
548
00:29:38,193 --> 00:29:40,229
You sure this foundation’s deep enough,
George?
549
00:29:40,320 --> 00:29:42,276
I want this place to last longer
than these trees.
550
00:29:42,364 --> 00:29:43,524
Twice as long, sir.
551
00:29:43,824 --> 00:29:46,065
Trust me, been doin’ this a long time,
alright?
552
00:29:46,326 --> 00:29:48,317
Babe, isn’t this great?
553
00:29:49,079 --> 00:29:51,616
I'm not really a cement person.
554
00:29:52,249 --> 00:29:53,489
Can I have the keys for the car?
555
00:29:53,583 --> 00:29:56,450
I need to go to town and find a place
to get my highlights touched up.
556
00:29:56,837 --> 00:29:58,122
Hey, sweetheart?
- VANESSA: Mm.
557
00:29:58,213 --> 00:30:01,046
LANCE: What’s that matter?
We’re out here in the middle of nature.
558
00:30:01,300 --> 00:30:03,416
Yeah, and I wanna look natural.
559
00:30:05,804 --> 00:30:07,214
Keys are in the RV.
- OK.
560
00:30:10,559 --> 00:30:12,049
DRAMATIC MUSIC
561
00:30:12,811 --> 00:30:14,847
Time to get these trespassers outta here.
562
00:30:15,272 --> 00:30:18,184
We can do this the easy way
or the Woody way.
563
00:30:18,734 --> 00:30:20,190
I'm thinkin’ the Woody way.
564
00:30:20,402 --> 00:30:21,437
HE LAUGHS WILDLY
565
00:30:22,738 --> 00:30:25,980
Come on, Tommy, you cannot sit in here
all day staring at a screen.
566
00:30:26,408 --> 00:30:28,694
There’s nothing to do here.
- LANCE: Nothing to do here?
567
00:30:30,120 --> 00:30:32,327
They’re getting ready to pour the cement.
That’s cool.
568
00:30:32,414 --> 00:30:34,120
Let’s go outside and watch them do that.
569
00:30:35,375 --> 00:30:39,288
Pass.
- Go outside and find something to do.
570
00:30:39,588 --> 00:30:41,078
Anything.
- Give that back!
571
00:30:41,173 --> 00:30:43,334
VANESSA:
Lance! Hurry that thing is back!
572
00:30:45,886 --> 00:30:46,750
VANESSA:
Oh my God.
573
00:30:46,845 --> 00:30:48,551
No, no, no, no, no, no!
574
00:30:49,097 --> 00:30:50,712
Jackie Chan taught me this one.
575
00:30:51,433 --> 00:30:52,969
Wa—ka! Woo!
576
00:30:53,268 --> 00:30:55,179
How about some of this?
How about some of that?
577
00:30:55,645 --> 00:30:56,725
Bath time!
578
00:30:58,273 --> 00:30:59,604
Hope you’re getting hazard pay!
579
00:30:59,691 --> 00:31:00,976
WORKER GRUNTS
- Hi—yah! Hi—yah!
580
00:31:01,193 --> 00:31:02,603
Wa—hoo! Wa!
- MAN CRIES OUT
581
00:31:02,694 --> 00:31:04,309
No, no, no!
- WOODY: Karate chop!
582
00:31:05,447 --> 00:31:06,482
I do all my own stunts.
583
00:31:07,074 --> 00:31:08,359
Here comes the thunder!
584
00:31:08,492 --> 00:31:10,403
MAN GRUNTS
- WOODY CRIES OUT
585
00:31:12,746 --> 00:31:15,829
Don’t worry,
I didn’t forget about you two.
586
00:31:15,916 --> 00:31:16,871
You’re my favourites!
587
00:31:17,542 --> 00:31:19,157
Let’s get to the SUV!
588
00:31:19,252 --> 00:31:20,867
SHE WHIMPERS
589
00:31:21,421 --> 00:31:23,127
Hm, I wonder how this thing works.
590
00:31:24,007 --> 00:31:25,747
Only one way to find out.
591
00:31:26,468 --> 00:31:27,332
Oh!
592
00:31:30,389 --> 00:31:33,131
Come on, you know you want me to push it.
Oops!
593
00:31:34,684 --> 00:31:38,427
SHE SCREAMS
594
00:31:41,900 --> 00:31:43,561
SHE SHOUTS OUT INDISTINCTLY
595
00:31:44,778 --> 00:31:46,359
LANCE AND VANESSA SCREAM
596
00:31:47,239 --> 00:31:48,274
LANCE GROANS
597
00:31:50,075 --> 00:31:51,190
You were right, Lance.
598
00:31:52,661 --> 00:31:55,494
Watching them pour cement is fun.
- THEY GRUNT
599
00:31:55,956 --> 00:31:58,072
Now that’s how you do things
the Woody way.
600
00:31:58,166 --> 00:31:59,155
HE LAUGHS AND SNORTS
601
00:32:05,257 --> 00:32:07,122
SQUELCHING
602
00:32:07,217 --> 00:32:08,548
TRICKLING
603
00:32:14,099 --> 00:32:15,384
LANCE:
I’d like to file a complaint.
604
00:32:16,518 --> 00:32:18,349
Nope.Nope.
605
00:32:19,146 --> 00:32:20,306
Nope. Yep, that’s it.
606
00:32:21,148 --> 00:32:22,763
That’s the flying demon right there.
607
00:32:23,275 --> 00:32:25,186
The Pileated Red—Crowned Woodpecker?
- Yep.
608
00:32:25,527 --> 00:32:26,437
Impossible.
609
00:32:26,528 --> 00:32:29,270
The Red—Crowned Woodpecker
has been extinct for almost a hundred years
610
00:32:29,698 --> 00:32:33,282
I'm telling you, that’s the bird.
- Uh—huh. Sure it is.
611
00:32:34,327 --> 00:32:36,659
Any chance you’re taking
any sort of medication?
612
00:32:36,746 --> 00:32:39,533
Look, I don’t care
what kind of bird it is.
613
00:32:39,624 --> 00:32:42,832
I want it off my property for good.
Now how does that happen?
614
00:32:43,336 --> 00:32:45,497
Well, the local Native Americans
615
00:32:45,589 --> 00:32:48,001
believed it was
the incarnation of Marconda
616
00:32:48,258 --> 00:32:49,794
god of chaos and mayhem
617
00:32:50,135 --> 00:32:52,592
a mischievous trickster
who haunted the forest.
618
00:32:52,679 --> 00:32:55,921
Super factoid. What did they do about it?
- Moved away.
619
00:32:56,725 --> 00:32:58,181
Moved away?
- SAM: More like fled.
620
00:32:58,977 --> 00:33:01,013
Didn’t even pack,
left all their things behind.
621
00:33:01,521 --> 00:33:02,556
Well, I'm not gonna flee.
622
00:33:03,273 --> 00:33:05,559
Can we just kill it?
- No, you can't just kill it.
623
00:33:05,650 --> 00:33:09,142
The woodpecker is a protected species.
You'd be breaking the law
624
00:33:09,404 --> 00:33:10,769
a 10,000 dollar fine.
625
00:33:12,532 --> 00:33:13,863
Do you take credit cards?
626
00:33:14,743 --> 00:33:16,199
And two years in jail.
627
00:33:17,954 --> 00:33:20,161
Alright, well there’s Plan A.
628
00:33:21,416 --> 00:33:24,249
Do you have any ideas?
- Learn to live with it.
629
00:33:25,003 --> 00:33:27,244
There is plenty of room for both of you.
630
00:33:29,466 --> 00:33:32,253
Thanks.
You’ve been tremendously unhelpful.
631
00:33:36,848 --> 00:33:41,933
NATE: How hard can it be to find
a red—headed woodpecker with hands?
632
00:33:42,395 --> 00:33:44,386
Well, I feel like I know the answer
to this one.
633
00:33:46,024 --> 00:33:47,059
Hey, give me a hint?
634
00:33:47,150 --> 00:33:48,014
NATE SIGHS
635
00:33:51,696 --> 00:33:57,191
Oh. Oh no, no, no. Oh no, no, no, no.
636
00:33:58,620 --> 00:33:59,655
That’s it.
637
00:34:00,413 --> 00:34:04,156
Nobody poops on my truck
and gets away with it!
638
00:34:05,335 --> 00:34:06,370
One time.
639
00:34:06,962 --> 00:34:09,749
That happened one time
and you've never let me forget it.
640
00:34:12,008 --> 00:34:15,091
WOODY LAUGHS IN DISTANCE
641
00:34:16,680 --> 00:34:19,422
ROCK MUSIC
642
00:34:23,687 --> 00:34:26,224
Hey! I know that song. That's my ringtone.
643
00:34:31,319 --> 00:34:33,435
Well, what do ya know? Peanut butter boy.
644
00:34:37,701 --> 00:34:38,690
That was awesome!
645
00:34:39,286 --> 00:34:40,321
Heck yeah, we killed it!
646
00:34:40,704 --> 00:34:42,319
Hey, kid.
- Hey, Woody.
647
00:34:43,123 --> 00:34:45,830
I was just flapping by and I heard
someone laying down a fresh beat.
648
00:34:46,126 --> 00:34:48,788
Whoa—oa! What kind of bird is that?
649
00:34:48,878 --> 00:34:51,665
Some kind of woodpecker.
He lives up by my place.
650
00:34:51,756 --> 00:34:53,496
And before I met you guys
651
00:34:53,592 --> 00:34:55,708
he was pretty much
my only friend out here.
652
00:34:56,886 --> 00:34:58,922
Friend? Hm...
653
00:34:59,431 --> 00:35:01,046
Nope. Never had one of those before.
654
00:35:01,141 --> 00:35:04,554
The festival’s at the end of the month.
We’ve still got a lot of practicing to do.
655
00:35:04,644 --> 00:35:07,260
One, two... One, two, three four.
656
00:35:07,355 --> 00:35:09,471
THEY PLAY: "Bird is the Word'I
657
00:35:09,566 --> 00:35:11,431
# Well, everybody's heard about the bird #
658
00:35:11,526 --> 00:35:14,063
# B—b—b—bird, bird, bird... #
- Yeah, this year is my jam!
659
00:35:14,154 --> 00:35:17,146
# Well a bird's a word...#
- RYTHMIC PECKING
660
00:35:17,240 --> 00:35:21,404
Oh yeah, that’s right, I peck by ear.
Never had a lesson. Ho—ho!
661
00:35:21,745 --> 00:35:24,828
Whoa! That bird’s got mad skills.
662
00:35:25,415 --> 00:35:27,326
# Don't you know about the bird? #
663
00:35:27,417 --> 00:35:29,908
# Well, everybody knows
that the bird is the word #
664
00:35:30,253 --> 00:35:33,495
# Bird, bird, bird, b—b—b—bird,
Bird, bird, bird... #
665
00:35:33,590 --> 00:35:36,002
MUSIC: "Bird is the Word" by The Trashmen
- HE LAUGHS
666
00:35:37,218 --> 00:35:38,253
WORKER:
Whoa!
667
00:35:38,386 --> 00:35:41,298
WORKER CRIES OUT AND GROANS
668
00:35:41,681 --> 00:35:43,171
# Well-a bird’s the word #
669
00:35:43,224 --> 00:35:45,510
# Oh well—a bird, bird, bird,
B—bird's the word #
670
00:35:45,602 --> 00:35:47,888
# Oh well—a don ’t you know
about the bird? #
671
00:35:47,979 --> 00:35:50,470
# Well—a everybody’s talking
about the bird #
672
00:35:50,815 --> 00:35:52,771
# Bird, bird, bird,
B—bird’s the word #
673
00:35:52,859 --> 00:35:55,271
# Oh well—a...
- # Bird, bird, bird, b—b—b bird! #
674
00:35:55,362 --> 00:35:57,569
# Oh well—a bird, bird,
B—bird’s the word #
675
00:35:57,656 --> 00:36:00,272
Another bill?! Where did this come from?
Wh...?
676
00:36:01,242 --> 00:36:03,733
# Oh, well—a everybody’s heard
about the bird... #
677
00:36:05,080 --> 00:36:06,570
Oh jeez, bees!
678
00:36:06,665 --> 00:36:07,950
WORKERS SHOUTING
679
00:36:08,208 --> 00:36:09,698
WORKER:
Run!
680
00:36:10,085 --> 00:36:11,120
To the river!
681
00:36:13,755 --> 00:36:17,339
TH EY GROAN
682
00:36:17,425 --> 00:36:19,336
# Don ’t you know
about the bird? #
683
00:36:19,427 --> 00:36:21,839
# Well, everybody’s talking
about the bird... #
684
00:36:22,806 --> 00:36:25,422
Hm. On? OK. I could do that.
685
00:36:25,517 --> 00:36:26,472
HE LAUGHS
686
00:36:26,726 --> 00:36:28,466
WORKER SCREAMS
- ELECTRIC BUZZ
687
00:36:28,561 --> 00:36:30,051
WOODY LAUGHS WILDLY
688
00:36:30,188 --> 00:36:31,974
Just like in the cartoons.
689
00:36:32,065 --> 00:36:35,774
# B—b-b—b, b—b—b—b, b—b—b—b, b—b—pa—pa,
pa-pa-pa-pa, pa—pa-pa—pa, #
690
00:36:35,860 --> 00:36:38,897
pa—pa-pa—pa, pa-pa—oo-ma—mow— mow,
pa—pa—oo—ma—ma mow #
691
00:36:39,322 --> 00:36:41,278
# Oo—ma—mow—mow,
Pa—pa—oo—ma—ma mow #
692
00:36:41,366 --> 00:36:43,823
# Pa—pa—oo—ma—mow—mow,
Pa—pa—oo—ma—ma mow... #
693
00:36:46,037 --> 00:36:46,901
I'm back!
694
00:36:47,288 --> 00:36:48,903
WOODY LAUGHS AND SHOUTS OUT
695
00:36:48,998 --> 00:36:50,829
No, no, no, no, no, no!
696
00:36:56,464 --> 00:36:57,453
HE GRUNTS ANGRILY
697
00:36:57,549 --> 00:36:59,665
THEY SING:
# Oo—mow—ma—ma—mow, mow, mow, mow, mow #
698
00:36:59,801 --> 00:37:02,167
# Well—a don't you know
about the bird? #
699
00:37:02,262 --> 00:37:04,628
# Well everybody knows
that the bird is the word #
700
00:37:04,723 --> 00:37:06,930
# Oh well—a bird, bird, b—bird's the word #
701
00:37:07,016 --> 00:37:07,880
# Oh well—a bird. #
702
00:37:07,976 --> 00:37:09,967
Oh yeah! That was awesome!
703
00:37:10,353 --> 00:37:11,718
Woody, that was sick!
704
00:37:12,230 --> 00:37:15,768
Oh yeah! The bird is the word.
You know this song is about me, right?
705
00:37:19,863 --> 00:37:21,478
Baby, please,
can we talk about this a min...?
706
00:37:21,573 --> 00:37:23,359
SHE GRUNTS ANGRILY
- You know what? You were right.
707
00:37:23,450 --> 00:37:26,362
I should’ve listened to you
in the first place. We’ll go to a hotel.
708
00:37:26,453 --> 00:37:27,863
I'm going to a hotel!
709
00:37:28,288 --> 00:37:30,119
The Fairmont Olympic in Seattle.
710
00:37:30,623 --> 00:37:33,080
Five stars, all the amenities
711
00:37:33,543 --> 00:37:34,658
suite for one.
712
00:37:35,044 --> 00:37:36,079
GLASS SMASHES
713
00:37:37,380 --> 00:37:39,496
I will get rid of that woodpecker,
I promise you...
714
00:37:39,591 --> 00:37:41,377
It’s too late, Lance.
715
00:37:42,135 --> 00:37:44,046
You’re not the man I thought you were.
716
00:37:44,512 --> 00:37:48,380
I fell in love with a cold,
heartless courtroom killer
717
00:37:48,475 --> 00:37:51,262
not a man who loses to a flying squirrel.
718
00:37:55,440 --> 00:37:57,351
If you ever move back to Seattle
719
00:37:59,194 --> 00:38:00,183
we can do lunch.
720
00:38:02,322 --> 00:38:03,357
Bye.
721
00:38:07,577 --> 00:38:10,535
I think I just did that guy
a hu—uge favour.
722
00:38:11,080 --> 00:38:12,160
You're welcome!
723
00:38:38,274 --> 00:38:39,309
I'm sorry.
724
00:38:41,569 --> 00:38:42,604
What?
725
00:38:44,155 --> 00:38:45,190
About Vanessa.
726
00:38:46,115 --> 00:38:47,150
I know you liked her.
727
00:38:49,828 --> 00:38:50,863
Thanks.
728
00:38:54,290 --> 00:38:55,325
Yeah, I did.
729
00:38:59,879 --> 00:39:02,165
Sometimes things don’t work out
the way you planned.
730
00:39:04,425 --> 00:39:06,131
You’ll find that out when you’re older.
731
00:39:07,804 --> 00:39:09,169
I'm not sure I wanna find out.
732
00:39:11,182 --> 00:39:13,138
Nah. It’s not all that bad.
733
00:39:16,062 --> 00:39:17,222
It’s just that in life
734
00:39:17,856 --> 00:39:19,517
your dreams and reality...
735
00:39:20,984 --> 00:39:22,099
don’t always line up.
736
00:39:24,153 --> 00:39:26,269
So what you’re trying to tell me is...
737
00:39:27,407 --> 00:39:28,817
it basically stinks.
738
00:39:28,908 --> 00:39:29,943
LANCE LAUGHS
739
00:39:30,910 --> 00:39:32,366
No, not all the time, but...
740
00:39:34,414 --> 00:39:37,577
yeah, sometimes life basically stinks.
741
00:39:42,672 --> 00:39:43,707
Let's get some sleep.
742
00:39:44,424 --> 00:39:46,255
Things always look better in the morning.
743
00:39:48,511 --> 00:39:49,591
At least I hope they do.
744
00:39:52,807 --> 00:39:54,718
LANCE:
So I’ve got a pretty serious bird problem
745
00:39:54,809 --> 00:39:55,889
and from what I understand
746
00:39:55,977 --> 00:39:58,844
you two gentlemen are the finest
pest control company in town.
747
00:39:59,939 --> 00:40:02,055
Well, you’re the only
pest control company in town
748
00:40:02,442 --> 00:40:03,807
but I'm sure men of your...
749
00:40:03,902 --> 00:40:05,187
OTIS BURPS
750
00:40:06,029 --> 00:40:08,520
...calibre, won’t have any trouble
with this job.
751
00:40:08,781 --> 00:40:10,112
It's just a little woodpecker.
752
00:40:13,912 --> 00:40:15,243
Mister, do you know how...
- THUD
753
00:40:15,330 --> 00:40:17,992
How can we help you, Mr Walters?
754
00:40:18,082 --> 00:40:23,042
Well, I need you to trap it
and release it far, far away from here.
755
00:40:23,546 --> 00:40:25,502
I'd say kill it,
but apparently that's illegal.
756
00:40:25,924 --> 00:40:29,212
Course not.
We would never, uh, break the law.
757
00:40:29,302 --> 00:40:30,337
Nate, what about that time...
758
00:40:31,679 --> 00:40:35,843
How much?
- Our standard woodpecker removal fee is...
759
00:40:36,601 --> 00:40:38,637
two...
- 500 bucks, cash money.
760
00:40:38,728 --> 00:40:40,013
Otis, are you...
- Done.
761
00:40:40,563 --> 00:40:42,975
...gonna... eat your cherry?
762
00:40:43,942 --> 00:40:44,977
All yours.
763
00:40:45,610 --> 00:40:46,599
Thanks, I’ll, uh...
764
00:40:47,946 --> 00:40:49,607
I’ll save this for later.
765
00:40:51,324 --> 00:40:52,188
Cheque, please.
766
00:40:52,951 --> 00:40:54,987
So I will see you gentlemen
in the morning, yes?
767
00:40:55,078 --> 00:40:56,488
Uh, you got it.
768
00:40:56,788 --> 00:40:58,779
We will hit the hay early.
769
00:40:59,707 --> 00:41:02,995
We’ll be there bright and early,
ready to removify that bird.
770
00:41:04,003 --> 00:41:05,709
Just not before ten A.M., All right?
771
00:41:06,089 --> 00:41:08,455
That’s about when my son
usually comes into town and...
772
00:41:08,549 --> 00:41:10,164
I’d rather he not know anything
about this.
773
00:41:10,259 --> 00:41:13,217
Ten o’clock it is. We will see you...
774
00:41:13,304 --> 00:41:14,339
in the manana.
775
00:41:15,556 --> 00:41:16,591
In the mafiana.
776
00:41:17,934 --> 00:41:19,595
I thought we were seein’ him tomorrow?
777
00:41:19,894 --> 00:41:20,929
What?
778
00:41:21,854 --> 00:41:22,934
What? Let's go!
779
00:41:23,648 --> 00:41:25,604
We’ve been searchin’ for that woodpecker
for months
780
00:41:25,692 --> 00:41:27,273
and now it just falls right in our laps.
781
00:41:27,360 --> 00:41:30,397
We gonna make five hundo cash money.
- Dummy.
782
00:41:30,989 --> 00:41:32,570
It’s a Pileated Red—Crowned woodpecker.
783
00:41:32,657 --> 00:41:34,989
We can sell that bird
for a thousand times more than that.
784
00:41:35,410 --> 00:41:37,241
Oh, can’t you just smell the money?
785
00:41:39,455 --> 00:41:40,490
Nah, that’s just me.
786
00:41:43,710 --> 00:41:45,575
TOMMY:
Hey, what are we gonna call our band?
787
00:41:45,712 --> 00:41:48,374
JILL: How about Poison Ivy?
Cos I think I just stepped in some.
788
00:41:49,007 --> 00:41:50,543
LYLE:
Hey, look, an eagle feather.
789
00:41:51,050 --> 00:41:53,883
TOMMY: And there’s another one.
- JILL: That’s a lot of feathers.
790
00:41:54,887 --> 00:41:58,050
JILL: Let’s follow the trail.
- LYLE: I thought we were going swimming?
791
00:41:58,307 --> 00:41:59,513
JILL:
Don’t worry, we will.
792
00:41:59,600 --> 00:42:01,306
TENSE MUSIC BUILDS
793
00:42:02,687 --> 00:42:03,927
Wonder where they came from.
794
00:42:06,357 --> 00:42:09,394
LYLE: Guys, the quarry’s back that way.
- JILL: Don't be such a wimp.
795
00:42:09,819 --> 00:42:10,854
TOMMY:
Whoa.
796
00:42:13,781 --> 00:42:14,896
Hey, let's go check it out.
797
00:42:15,533 --> 00:42:16,943
JILL:
Looks totally abandoned.
798
00:42:17,326 --> 00:42:18,987
LYLE:
Uh, did you guys not see the sign?
799
00:42:21,414 --> 00:42:23,120
Hey, wait for me!
800
00:42:35,970 --> 00:42:37,130
EERIE MUSIC
801
00:42:37,221 --> 00:42:38,631
LYLE:
What is this place?
802
00:42:44,937 --> 00:42:45,972
Can we go now?
803
00:42:48,399 --> 00:42:49,605
Look at all this stuff.
804
00:42:52,695 --> 00:42:54,981
JILL: Who would do something like that
to those animals?
805
00:42:55,573 --> 00:42:57,404
LYLE: I told you guys
we shouldn’t have come in here.
806
00:42:57,658 --> 00:42:59,273
Let’s go! Come on.
807
00:43:00,203 --> 00:43:01,409
CRASH
- LYLE GASPS
808
00:43:02,663 --> 00:43:03,778
What was that?
809
00:43:04,999 --> 00:43:06,614
What... What are you doing?
810
00:43:07,418 --> 00:43:08,453
RATTLING
811
00:43:13,883 --> 00:43:15,168
Look how sad he looks.
812
00:43:17,053 --> 00:43:19,760
What are you doin’ here?
813
00:43:19,972 --> 00:43:21,803
We’re sorry, sir.
We didn’t touch anything.
814
00:43:22,100 --> 00:43:24,557
This is private property.
815
00:43:24,936 --> 00:43:26,597
You are trespassin’.
816
00:43:27,188 --> 00:43:28,644
We could press charges.
817
00:43:28,898 --> 00:43:31,514
We were just on our way to the quarry
and we got lost.
818
00:43:31,859 --> 00:43:35,727
Yeah, see the towels? Swimming.
819
00:43:36,572 --> 00:43:39,063
It wasn’t my idea. They made me.
820
00:43:40,201 --> 00:43:43,034
If any of you little runts
821
00:43:43,538 --> 00:43:44,903
come back here again
822
00:43:44,997 --> 00:43:47,329
bad things are gonna happen.
823
00:43:48,501 --> 00:43:50,037
Now all of you
824
00:43:51,337 --> 00:43:52,201
get outta here!
825
00:43:52,505 --> 00:43:55,338
Go on! Go on! Go!
- LYLE: Come on, guys, let’s go!
826
00:43:56,843 --> 00:43:58,879
Not you, dummy.
827
00:44:01,848 --> 00:44:03,759
JILL: Come on, quick!
- LYLE: Guys, come on!
828
00:44:12,400 --> 00:44:13,264
PECKING
829
00:44:13,359 --> 00:44:15,520
Peck away all you want tonight, bird.
830
00:44:16,779 --> 00:44:18,940
Tomorrow the hammer drops.
831
00:44:25,288 --> 00:44:26,619
NATE:
Otis, take her up.
832
00:44:26,831 --> 00:44:29,368
LANCE: So what’s the plan?
- NATE: Oh, I'll tell you the plan.
833
00:44:29,458 --> 00:44:33,201
We got this, uh,
carbon fibre and titanium reinforced cage.
834
00:44:33,462 --> 00:44:36,920
We've got, uh, thermal cameras
all over the perimeter.
835
00:44:37,091 --> 00:44:39,707
And for just a little added insurance
836
00:44:41,387 --> 00:44:44,379
we’ve got these electrified net guns.
837
00:44:44,473 --> 00:44:47,431
If for any reason he manages to uh,
escape and make a run for it
838
00:44:49,061 --> 00:44:52,269
heat—seeking tranquiliser darts.
839
00:44:52,940 --> 00:44:57,229
Ooh, and the bait,
we’ve got two aces in the hole.
840
00:44:57,528 --> 00:44:59,985
At first, a female decoy.
841
00:45:00,072 --> 00:45:01,107
NATE CHUCKLES
842
00:45:02,491 --> 00:45:06,200
Second, we’ve added
a jar of extra nutty peanut butter
843
00:45:06,495 --> 00:45:11,239
because no right—minded woodpecker
can resist the combination of romance...
844
00:45:12,168 --> 00:45:13,408
and peanut butter.
845
00:45:14,337 --> 00:45:17,545
It is a bad day to be a woodpecker.
846
00:45:17,882 --> 00:45:20,089
WOODY:
# Everybody thinks I'm crazy #
847
00:45:20,176 --> 00:45:22,258
# Yes, siree, that’s me, that’s me #
848
00:45:22,428 --> 00:45:24,384
# That’s what I'm cracked up to be #
849
00:45:24,680 --> 00:45:26,887
# I chop a hole in every tree #
850
00:45:27,099 --> 00:45:28,384
# Knock on wo—o—o—o—o—o—o—od #
851
00:45:29,352 --> 00:45:30,717
# Knock on wo—o—o—o—o—o—o—od #
852
00:45:31,729 --> 00:45:34,516
# So I'm crazy,
what, what, what can I do? #
853
00:45:34,941 --> 00:45:36,147
# So are you! #
854
00:45:37,276 --> 00:45:38,391
Do you smell that?
855
00:45:38,945 --> 00:45:40,481
Is that what I think it is?
856
00:45:40,988 --> 00:45:41,852
Peanut butter!
857
00:45:43,115 --> 00:45:45,106
Peanut butter! Peanut butter!
Peanut butter!
858
00:45:45,451 --> 00:45:47,237
Peanut butter! Hee—hee!
859
00:45:48,162 --> 00:45:50,528
Incoming bogie,
300 yards and closin’ fast.
860
00:45:50,623 --> 00:45:51,453
CAMERA BEEPS
861
00:45:51,540 --> 00:45:52,575
What do we have here?
862
00:45:54,252 --> 00:45:56,459
Well, hello there? Come here often?
863
00:45:56,545 --> 00:45:59,833
I notice you have
a jar of extra nut—tay peanut but—ter.
864
00:46:00,216 --> 00:46:01,672
I'm a big fan of the stuff, myself.
865
00:46:02,260 --> 00:46:03,966
Mind if I join you?
866
00:46:04,929 --> 00:46:08,421
Is it just me or is there something
kinda wooden about this chick?
867
00:46:09,475 --> 00:46:11,887
NATE: Here. Come on.
- How about we take this back to my place
868
00:46:11,978 --> 00:46:13,013
and watch a movie?
869
00:46:13,229 --> 00:46:16,562
Ever seen The Birds? Oh, it’s hilarious.
870
00:46:20,319 --> 00:46:22,355
It feels like something
has come between us.
871
00:46:22,655 --> 00:46:23,519
Heat—seekers.
872
00:46:23,614 --> 00:46:25,775
You didn’t think I was gonna get caught
this easy, did ya?
873
00:46:25,992 --> 00:46:28,449
Peanut butter makes me crazy, not stupid.
874
00:46:28,536 --> 00:46:30,322
Come on, what else ya got?
- NATE: Shoot him!
875
00:46:31,372 --> 00:46:32,361
Yikes, time to go!
876
00:46:33,666 --> 00:46:34,906
Whoa!
877
00:46:35,001 --> 00:46:37,117
HE SHOUTS NERVOUSLY
Whoa, whoa!
878
00:46:40,047 --> 00:46:42,538
Whoa—oh. Wh—argh!
879
00:46:45,052 --> 00:46:46,758
SLOW MOTION YELP
880
00:46:48,597 --> 00:46:50,087
Whoa—oh—oh!
881
00:46:50,433 --> 00:46:51,673
Look, there he is!
882
00:46:52,268 --> 00:46:53,974
Tag, you’re it!
- NATE: Whoa!
883
00:46:55,354 --> 00:46:56,685
Nighty—night, boys.
884
00:46:56,981 --> 00:46:58,892
Not. Again.
885
00:47:03,487 --> 00:47:06,024
WOODY: Hey, Beardo!
Yeah, I'm talkin’ to you!
886
00:47:07,950 --> 00:47:09,406
Feelin’ lucky today, punk?
887
00:47:09,910 --> 00:47:11,195
Well, do ya?
888
00:47:16,876 --> 00:47:19,959
Electrifying! Smile!
889
00:47:22,131 --> 00:47:25,794
Come to papa. Later, babe.
Text me when you make parole.
890
00:47:37,521 --> 00:47:38,556
SAM:
Here I got it.
891
00:47:39,982 --> 00:47:42,098
Why, Ranger Sam, how kind of you.
892
00:47:42,401 --> 00:47:43,436
No worries.
893
00:47:43,903 --> 00:47:45,814
I heard about your RV. Was it bad?
894
00:47:45,946 --> 00:47:48,437
Let’s just say I don’t think
I'm gonna get my damage deposit back.
895
00:47:48,657 --> 00:47:49,942
How’s your fiancée taking it?
896
00:47:50,493 --> 00:47:51,733
You mean my ex—fiancée.
897
00:47:52,244 --> 00:47:54,405
I'm pretty sure she’s taken it
to a five star hotel in Seattle.
898
00:47:55,164 --> 00:47:56,904
I'm sorry.
- LANCE: Yeah, thanks.
899
00:47:57,666 --> 00:47:59,827
I never thought a woodpecker
would break up my relationship
900
00:47:59,919 --> 00:48:01,705
but I guess out here these things happen.
901
00:48:02,171 --> 00:48:04,457
Can I give you a piece of advice
about that woodpecker?
902
00:48:04,548 --> 00:48:06,834
It is not a woodpecker;
It is a demon from Hell.
903
00:48:07,051 --> 00:48:09,713
OK, then can I give you a piece
of advice about that demon from Hell?
904
00:48:09,804 --> 00:48:11,920
Does it involve untraceable forms
of poison?
905
00:48:12,014 --> 00:48:13,220
SAM: No, just the opposite.
906
00:48:13,766 --> 00:48:17,224
Instead of fighting with the woodpecker,
maybe try being nice to it.
907
00:48:18,020 --> 00:48:19,885
Being nice to it?
- You've tried everything else.
908
00:48:20,189 --> 00:48:23,226
Besides you catch a lot more flies
with honey than vinegar.
909
00:48:25,027 --> 00:48:26,062
Think about it.
910
00:48:35,538 --> 00:48:36,573
Hey, bird.
911
00:48:38,999 --> 00:48:40,364
WHILSTLES
912
00:48:42,420 --> 00:48:44,206
It’s just your friendly neighbour, Lance.
913
00:48:44,797 --> 00:48:46,037
Got a little peace offering.
914
00:48:47,049 --> 00:48:49,961
Is that a sock on a stick? Pathetic.
- You win!
915
00:48:51,846 --> 00:48:52,881
You like cookies?
916
00:48:54,223 --> 00:48:55,429
Everybody likes cookies.
917
00:48:56,434 --> 00:48:58,425
There’ll be plenty more
where those come from.
918
00:48:58,727 --> 00:49:01,013
Whole brand new box every day.
919
00:49:01,439 --> 00:49:04,806
So long as ya...
let me build my house in peace.
920
00:49:05,401 --> 00:49:08,734
And then once I sell my house,
you’ll be somebody else’s nightmare.
921
00:49:10,448 --> 00:49:13,155
if you think giving me a little food
is going to make me forget...
922
00:49:13,617 --> 00:49:16,029
HE LAUGHS AND SHOUTS OUT EXCITEDLY
923
00:49:19,457 --> 00:49:21,448
Pretty good, huh? What do ya say?
924
00:49:21,542 --> 00:49:22,577
I’ll think it over.
925
00:49:25,087 --> 00:49:26,543
Well, I’ll take that as a yes.
926
00:49:27,965 --> 00:49:30,752
All right, you measure twice
and out once.
927
00:49:30,843 --> 00:49:31,923
That’s correct.
928
00:49:33,429 --> 00:49:34,509
Here you go.
929
00:49:34,597 --> 00:49:36,553
Hey, what’s up there, hard hat?
Hey, look out! Hey!
930
00:49:36,640 --> 00:49:38,676
Whoa, whoa, whoa, everybody, relax!
931
00:49:39,059 --> 00:49:40,094
Relax.
932
00:49:41,020 --> 00:49:42,055
I got this.
933
00:49:43,230 --> 00:49:44,265
I thank you very much.
934
00:49:45,149 --> 00:49:46,559
Same time tomorrow.
935
00:49:46,817 --> 00:49:47,932
Please, allow me.
936
00:49:51,197 --> 00:49:52,437
That’s lunch, whoo—hoo!
937
00:49:52,990 --> 00:49:55,151
LOUD CHEWING
938
00:49:55,784 --> 00:49:56,819
HE BURPS
939
00:49:59,830 --> 00:50:02,037
OK, OK,
I know what you folks are thinking:
940
00:50:02,541 --> 00:50:04,998
"Woody is a big fat sell—out."
941
00:50:05,294 --> 00:50:06,374
But the way I see it
942
00:50:06,462 --> 00:50:08,794
it’s a mutually beneficial
business arrangement.
943
00:50:10,007 --> 00:50:12,919
Anyway, I let them build
their dream house in peace
944
00:50:13,260 --> 00:50:14,625
as long as they pay me.
945
00:50:15,930 --> 00:50:16,965
Voila /
946
00:50:17,223 --> 00:50:18,338
GEORGE:
Well, Mr Walters
947
00:50:19,183 --> 00:50:20,844
looks like you’re gonna get your house.
948
00:50:21,227 --> 00:50:23,593
Over schedule and over budget,
but we did it.
949
00:50:28,192 --> 00:50:29,932
LANCE:
Alright—y.
950
00:50:30,986 --> 00:50:32,567
Here you go.
- Thanks, dad.
951
00:50:35,032 --> 00:50:36,067
You’re welcome.
952
00:50:36,283 --> 00:50:39,025
Hey, what about me?
- Don’t worry, I didn’t forget about you.
953
00:50:39,119 --> 00:50:40,234
I sure hope not.
954
00:50:40,996 --> 00:50:42,452
Mm! My favourite!
955
00:50:43,541 --> 00:50:44,451
Yummy!
956
00:50:44,542 --> 00:50:45,406
PHONE RINGS
957
00:50:45,501 --> 00:50:46,991
WOODY:
You must give me the recipe!
958
00:50:47,253 --> 00:50:48,709
LOUD CHEWING
959
00:50:48,796 --> 00:50:50,627
Hey, Linda. What’s up? How’s your dad?
960
00:50:50,881 --> 00:50:52,712
Uh, a little better, thanks.
961
00:50:52,800 --> 00:50:53,664
You guys deliver?
962
00:50:53,759 --> 00:50:55,249
LINDA:
Listen, I’ve got some good news.
963
00:50:55,344 --> 00:50:56,459
I talked to my cousin
964
00:50:56,554 --> 00:50:58,419
and she can take Tommy
while I'm at the hospital
965
00:50:58,514 --> 00:51:00,254
so you’re off the hook.
- Really?
966
00:51:00,933 --> 00:51:03,174
That's what you wanted, right?
- Yeah.
967
00:51:05,521 --> 00:51:06,806
You know what? No. Uh... Uh...
968
00:51:09,149 --> 00:51:10,264
I think we’re OK here.
969
00:51:11,068 --> 00:51:12,774
Seriously?
- Yeah, seriously.
970
00:51:14,363 --> 00:51:16,228
Keep me posted on your dad, would you?
- Sure.
971
00:51:16,907 --> 00:51:18,693
Take care of my boy.
- Our boy.
972
00:51:20,619 --> 00:51:21,654
See you later.
973
00:51:28,836 --> 00:51:29,871
WOODY SIGHS
974
00:51:35,968 --> 00:51:38,675
Nate, how we ever gonna get that bird?
It’s always with 'em.
975
00:51:40,222 --> 00:51:43,134
It’s just a matter of time, Otis.
Keep your shirt on.
976
00:51:44,810 --> 00:51:46,300
Weren’t plannin’ on takin’ it off.
977
00:51:48,147 --> 00:51:49,182
Seriously!
978
00:51:50,608 --> 00:51:53,725
ROCK MUSIC PLAYS:
# Celebrate the day #
979
00:51:54,320 --> 00:51:57,778
# Celebrate and sing #
980
00:51:58,115 --> 00:52:02,984
# Celebrate and then you will #
981
00:52:05,164 --> 00:52:07,951
# Celebrate the day #
982
00:52:08,876 --> 00:52:12,164
# Celebrate and sing #
983
00:52:12,630 --> 00:52:17,750
# Celebrate and then you will... #
984
00:52:18,802 --> 00:52:19,882
Last 10 seconds!
985
00:52:19,970 --> 00:52:23,508
JILL: Come on, you can do it!
- Lyle, come on, almost there!
986
00:52:23,599 --> 00:52:24,463
JILL: You can do it!
987
00:52:26,101 --> 00:52:27,056
Come on, you can do it!
988
00:52:27,144 --> 00:52:29,601
PRESENTER: And we have a wiener!
- Yeah, Lyle!
989
00:52:30,064 --> 00:52:32,225
MAN: Here you go, sir.
Here’s your chocolate ice cream.
990
00:52:32,650 --> 00:52:36,234
Well, look who’s here,
Tweedle Dumb and Tweedle Dumber.
991
00:52:37,363 --> 00:52:40,571
Hiya, fellas, how about a little topping
for your ice cream?
992
00:52:40,658 --> 00:52:43,070
It’s not fake.
You don’t know what you’re talkin’ about.
993
00:52:49,667 --> 00:52:52,033
Yuck, even I think that’s disgusting.
994
00:52:53,379 --> 00:52:54,414
Mm.
995
00:52:59,093 --> 00:53:00,253
Take care.
- Thank you, bye.
996
00:53:03,305 --> 00:53:05,011
Well, hello again.
997
00:53:05,766 --> 00:53:06,801
Free trees, huh?
998
00:53:07,476 --> 00:53:10,889
It might be the first thing I’ve seen here
that isn’t battered and deep fried.
999
00:53:11,146 --> 00:53:13,182
How’s your ongoing battle
with the woodpecker?
1000
00:53:14,525 --> 00:53:16,766
Well, I hate to admit it,
but you were right.
1001
00:53:18,028 --> 00:53:20,144
Took your advice, made peace with it.
And it’s...
1002
00:53:20,447 --> 00:53:21,482
It’s actually been...
1003
00:53:22,866 --> 00:53:24,276
not awful.
- Hm.
1004
00:53:24,368 --> 00:53:26,950
But in another month or so,
I’ll be finished.
1005
00:53:27,371 --> 00:53:29,282
l’ll sell the house and adio's.
1006
00:53:30,457 --> 00:53:31,492
So problem solved.
1007
00:53:33,627 --> 00:53:34,582
Problem solved.
1008
00:53:36,839 --> 00:53:38,875
So I was about to listen to Tommy’s band.
1009
00:53:38,966 --> 00:53:40,957
They’re gettin’ ready to play,
you wanna come?
1010
00:53:41,719 --> 00:53:43,255
Yeah, sounds like fun.
1011
00:53:43,554 --> 00:53:47,138
BLUEGRASS COVER OF "Oh Susanna"
1012
00:53:47,599 --> 00:53:49,009
LYLE GROANS
1013
00:53:49,601 --> 00:53:53,014
This is what happens
when you eat 29 hotdogs!
1014
00:53:53,105 --> 00:53:54,720
No guts, no glory!
1015
00:53:55,315 --> 00:53:56,555
Are you sure you can't play?
1016
00:53:56,817 --> 00:53:59,354
Dude, I'm just tryin’ not to blow chunks.
1017
00:53:59,987 --> 00:54:01,693
We’ll be totally lame without a drummer.
1018
00:54:02,197 --> 00:54:06,281
Wouldn’t it be lamer to have a drummer
puke all over himself on stage?
1019
00:54:06,827 --> 00:54:08,658
No. That’s rock ‘n roll.
1020
00:54:08,871 --> 00:54:09,906
STOMACH GURGLES
1021
00:54:09,997 --> 00:54:11,737
Sorry, guys, I really wanna play...
1022
00:54:12,916 --> 00:54:14,372
but my stomach’s got other plans!
1023
00:54:18,297 --> 00:54:22,131
BLUEGRASS MUSIC CONTINUES
1024
00:54:25,512 --> 00:54:26,877
Well, here we go.
1025
00:54:28,140 --> 00:54:30,506
We’re up next.
- But we don’t have a drummer.
1026
00:54:32,019 --> 00:54:33,304
So we go on without a drummer.
1027
00:54:34,605 --> 00:54:36,470
Worst case scenario is...
1028
00:54:36,899 --> 00:54:39,311
we make total fools of ourselves. Come on.
1029
00:54:40,611 --> 00:54:43,102
OK. Let's do this.
1030
00:54:43,197 --> 00:54:47,486
Now let’s give a nice warm
Pine Grove welcome to our next local act:
1031
00:54:48,368 --> 00:54:49,403
3 Peat.
1032
00:54:58,295 --> 00:55:00,627
Hi, everyone. We’re 3 Peat
1033
00:55:01,507 --> 00:55:04,499
although, um,
at the moment, our third peat...
1034
00:55:05,135 --> 00:55:08,298
is, urn, puking up hotdogs behind the barn
1035
00:55:08,388 --> 00:55:11,004
so, uh, tonight, we’re just 2 Peat.
1036
00:55:11,850 --> 00:55:13,215
Enjoy the show.
1037
00:55:13,310 --> 00:55:15,392
THEY PLAY "What I Like About You'I
1038
00:55:15,479 --> 00:55:16,719
Hey!
- MICROPHONE SCREECHES
1039
00:55:17,940 --> 00:55:19,180
MICROPHONE SCREECHES
- Hey!
1040
00:55:22,236 --> 00:55:24,522
Uh—oh, sounding a little light
on percussion.
1041
00:55:25,155 --> 00:55:27,612
Hm. What would MacGyver do?
1042
00:55:28,158 --> 00:55:29,193
HE GASPS
1043
00:55:29,743 --> 00:55:31,984
Perfect. Ah, that’s it!
1044
00:55:32,955 --> 00:55:34,445
#...you hold me tight #
1045
00:55:36,959 --> 00:55:40,622
# Tell me I'm the only one,
You wanna come over tonight? #
1046
00:55:41,171 --> 00:55:42,035
# Yeah #
1047
00:55:42,965 --> 00:55:45,297
# Keep on whispering in my ear #
1048
00:55:45,884 --> 00:55:48,216
# Tell me all the things
that I want to hear #
1049
00:55:48,303 --> 00:55:50,259
# Cos it's true #
- WOODY AND JILL: # That's what I like #
1050
00:55:50,597 --> 00:55:53,464
# It's what I like about you #
- # That's what I like #
1051
00:55:53,851 --> 00:55:55,091
WOODY:
# What I like about you #
1052
00:55:56,728 --> 00:55:58,684
JILL:
# You really know how to dance #
1053
00:56:00,399 --> 00:56:04,642
# When you go up down, jump around,
think about true romance #
1054
00:56:05,237 --> 00:56:06,272
# Yeah #
1055
00:56:06,864 --> 00:56:09,480
# Keep on whispering in my ear #
1056
00:56:09,575 --> 00:56:12,317
# Tell me all the things
that I wanna hear #
1057
00:56:12,411 --> 00:56:14,572
# Cos that's true #
- # What I like about you #
1058
00:56:14,663 --> 00:56:17,496
# It's what I like about you #
- WOODY AND TOMMY: # What I like about you #
1059
00:56:17,583 --> 00:56:20,450
JILL: # That’s what I like about you #
- # That's what I like about you #
1060
00:56:20,544 --> 00:56:23,536
# It's what I like about you #
- # It's what I like about you #
1061
00:56:23,630 --> 00:56:24,540
WOODY SCREAMS
1062
00:56:25,007 --> 00:56:28,249
GUITAR SOLO
1063
00:56:35,809 --> 00:56:37,299
# What I like about you #
1064
00:56:38,604 --> 00:56:40,560
# You keep me warm at night #
1065
00:56:42,941 --> 00:56:46,354
# Never wanna let you go,
You know you make me feel alright #
1066
00:56:47,279 --> 00:56:48,314
# Yeah #
1067
00:56:48,989 --> 00:56:51,526
# Keep on whispering in my ear #
1068
00:56:51,867 --> 00:56:54,233
# Tell me all the things
that I wanna hear #
1069
00:56:54,494 --> 00:56:56,610
# Cos that's true #
- WOODY AND JILL: # What I like about you #
1070
00:56:56,705 --> 00:56:59,538
# It's what I like about you #
- # What I like about you #
1071
00:56:59,625 --> 00:57:02,492
TOMMY: # That's what I like about you #
- # What I like about you #
1072
00:57:02,586 --> 00:57:05,544
TOMMY: # It's what I like about you #
- WOODY AND JILL: # What I like about you #
1073
00:57:05,631 --> 00:57:07,622
# It's what I like about you. #
1074
00:57:10,218 --> 00:57:12,209
LANCE:
Way to go, Tommy! Yeah!
1075
00:57:17,309 --> 00:57:19,675
Oh yeah! They should call this Woodystock!
1076
00:57:20,020 --> 00:57:22,056
LANCE: You guys were amazing!
- JILL: Thanks.
1077
00:57:22,397 --> 00:57:25,889
Buddy, I knew you could play,
but I didn't know you could play like that.
1078
00:57:26,276 --> 00:57:29,393
I'm so proud of you.
- You are? Really?
1079
00:57:30,697 --> 00:57:31,732
Course I am really.
1080
00:57:33,116 --> 00:57:35,107
What do you think,
this place isn’t so bad after all, is it?
1081
00:57:36,286 --> 00:57:37,617
Yeah, it doesn’t totally bite.
1082
00:57:39,122 --> 00:57:40,237
It doesn’t totally bite.
1083
00:57:40,999 --> 00:57:44,082
Hey, shouldn’t we be hangin’ backstage
doing peanut butter shots with groupies?
1084
00:57:44,252 --> 00:57:46,584
Woody!
- We totally rocked it!
1085
00:57:47,506 --> 00:57:49,622
Oh, I'm sorry, have you met Woody?
1086
00:57:50,133 --> 00:57:51,794
Enchanté, Mademoiselle.
1087
00:57:52,636 --> 00:57:56,220
You really did find
a Pileated Red—Crowned Woodpecker
1088
00:57:56,473 --> 00:57:57,588
and he’s domesticated?
1089
00:57:57,933 --> 00:57:58,843
HE BURPS LOUDLY
1090
00:57:58,934 --> 00:58:01,346
Well, that depends
on your definition of domesticated.
1091
00:58:01,436 --> 00:58:03,597
Uh, Woody here was our drummer.
1092
00:58:04,439 --> 00:58:05,474
No kidding.
1093
00:58:06,274 --> 00:58:07,184
Way to go, Woody.
1094
00:58:07,609 --> 00:58:09,850
Thanks. Always happy to help a...
1095
00:58:10,862 --> 00:58:11,772
friend.
1096
00:58:12,239 --> 00:58:14,104
Anyway, gotta go. Time to forage.
1097
00:58:15,158 --> 00:58:16,614
I don’t know about you, I am starving.
1098
00:58:16,702 --> 00:58:17,737
Are you hungry?
- Yes.
1099
00:58:17,995 --> 00:58:19,451
I could kill a corndog.
1100
00:58:20,205 --> 00:58:22,787
And now, Ladies and Gentlemen
1101
00:58:23,333 --> 00:58:25,540
the moment we’ve all been waiting for...
1102
00:58:25,919 --> 00:58:27,580
What’s goin’ on?
- You'll see.
1103
00:58:29,548 --> 00:58:31,584
Let there be light!
1104
00:58:33,885 --> 00:58:35,466
AUDIENCE GASP
1105
00:58:54,072 --> 00:58:56,358
Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad
if they stuck around.
1106
00:58:57,367 --> 00:58:58,982
That gives me an idea.
1107
00:59:12,716 --> 00:59:16,208
Well, what do ya know?
I'm a regular Pablo Peck—casso.
1108
00:59:18,013 --> 00:59:19,048
HE SIGHS
1109
00:59:19,431 --> 00:59:22,423
Maybe... Maybe I’ve been alone too long.
1110
00:59:23,727 --> 00:59:25,638
Just because I'm one of a kind
1111
00:59:25,729 --> 00:59:28,596
doesn’t mean I can’t be part
of a family too, right?
1112
00:59:30,776 --> 00:59:32,607
Oh, I almost forgot to sign my name.
1113
00:59:34,988 --> 00:59:36,398
HE SCREAMS
1114
00:59:38,992 --> 00:59:39,856
HE GROANS
1115
00:59:39,951 --> 00:59:40,986
What happened?
1116
00:59:46,249 --> 00:59:48,285
Oh no! Argh!
1117
00:59:48,794 --> 00:59:51,251
What am I gonna do? What am I gonna do?
What am I gonna do?!
1118
00:59:54,007 --> 00:59:56,293
Whoa—oh—oh—oh—oh!
Anyone smell chicken cooking?
1119
00:59:56,885 --> 00:59:58,716
Yikes! It's me!
1120
00:59:58,929 --> 01:00:01,341
HE SCREAMS
1121
01:00:05,018 --> 01:00:06,053
Oh no!
1122
01:00:07,145 --> 01:00:08,351
Oh, what did I do?
1123
01:00:14,820 --> 01:00:15,900
LANCE:
It's a total loss.
1124
01:00:19,074 --> 01:00:20,439
How does this even happen?
1125
01:00:21,034 --> 01:00:23,320
I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to.
1126
01:00:25,539 --> 01:00:27,825
FIREMAN: Well, I think we found
the cause of the fire.
1127
01:00:27,916 --> 01:00:30,783
Looks like something was destroying the wall
and hit the wiring.
1128
01:00:31,169 --> 01:00:34,878
Probably a small animal:
mouse or a rat or a bird or something.
1129
01:00:35,215 --> 01:00:36,250
A bird?
1130
01:00:37,342 --> 01:00:38,331
Like a woodpecker?
1131
01:00:39,511 --> 01:00:40,546
That's possible.
1132
01:00:46,017 --> 01:00:47,803
HE WHIMPERS
- You!
1133
01:00:48,687 --> 01:00:50,018
Dad, Woody wouldn’t have done this.
1134
01:00:50,105 --> 01:00:51,641
It couldn’t have been him.
- Really?
1135
01:00:51,940 --> 01:00:54,022
Do you see any other psychotic animals
around here?
1136
01:00:54,776 --> 01:00:56,562
It was that woodpecker!
- Dad!
1137
01:00:56,653 --> 01:00:58,189
All this time, he's just been...
- Come on!
1138
01:00:58,321 --> 01:01:01,358
...Iulling me into a fall sense of security,
waiting to strike.
1139
01:01:02,409 --> 01:01:03,444
He couldn't have...
1140
01:01:04,161 --> 01:01:06,322
It’s Lance Walters. Remember me?
1141
01:01:07,247 --> 01:01:10,364
Of course we remember you, Mr Walters.
1142
01:01:10,959 --> 01:01:11,823
How can we help you?
1143
01:01:13,295 --> 01:01:14,159
Uh—huh.
1144
01:01:14,462 --> 01:01:17,670
Look, I’m... I'm...
I'm sure we can work you into our schedule.
1145
01:01:18,425 --> 01:01:19,460
Yeah, how about, um...?
1146
01:01:20,802 --> 01:01:23,339
Well, how about... How about right now?
1147
01:01:24,347 --> 01:01:25,427
I didn’t mean to.
1148
01:01:25,765 --> 01:01:26,845
Accidents happen.
1149
01:01:27,017 --> 01:01:29,759
Mean, who amongst us
hasn’t burned down a house, right?
1150
01:01:30,520 --> 01:01:34,638
Oh, fine. I'll just go back
to the way it was before: No humans.
1151
01:01:34,816 --> 01:01:36,226
Who needs them anyway, right?
1152
01:01:36,985 --> 01:01:37,849
Right?
1153
01:01:38,153 --> 01:01:41,441
Uh... Don’t you ever have anything to say?
1154
01:01:42,741 --> 01:01:44,151
Oh, who am I kidding?
1155
01:01:44,492 --> 01:01:46,278
I had a good thing goin’ with those guys.
1156
01:01:47,662 --> 01:01:48,697
I gotta make it up to them
1157
01:01:49,372 --> 01:01:52,830
help them rebuild, for free this time, too.
No food.
1158
01:01:53,460 --> 01:01:55,075
I could stand to lose an ounce or two.
1159
01:01:55,795 --> 01:01:57,376
CRASH, WOODY SCREAMS
1160
01:01:58,048 --> 01:02:00,255
Earthquake!
1161
01:02:00,467 --> 01:02:01,547
Huh? Whoa.
1162
01:02:01,760 --> 01:02:04,297
HE SHOUT NERVOUSLY
- Whoa. Whoa.
1163
01:02:04,888 --> 01:02:08,972
HE SCREAMS
1164
01:02:09,059 --> 01:02:10,299
HE GROANS
1165
01:02:11,061 --> 01:02:12,346
HE GROANS IN A DAZE
1166
01:02:12,437 --> 01:02:13,973
He's all yours, boys.
1167
01:02:14,147 --> 01:02:15,478
HE GASPS
My home!
1168
01:02:17,734 --> 01:02:19,770
ELECTIC BUZZ
- HE SCREECHES
1169
01:02:19,861 --> 01:02:21,726
Happy place.
1170
01:02:22,197 --> 01:02:23,061
HE SIGHS
1171
01:02:25,450 --> 01:02:27,987
Let me outta here! I wasn’t read my rights!
1172
01:02:28,078 --> 01:02:29,989
I'm out of order? You’re out of order!
1173
01:02:30,080 --> 01:02:31,570
You can’t handle the truth!
1174
01:02:31,831 --> 01:02:35,198
WOODY GROWLS
- Stick a cork in it, you dumb bird.
1175
01:02:35,293 --> 01:02:36,954
Anyone out there know a good lawyer?
1176
01:02:37,045 --> 01:02:39,878
500 dollars.
Good job and good riddance.
1177
01:02:40,215 --> 01:02:41,250
De nada.
1178
01:02:41,800 --> 01:02:43,336
Potato, French fries.
1179
01:02:43,760 --> 01:02:45,466
What are you doing? You can’t take Woody.
1180
01:02:45,929 --> 01:02:48,136
Tommy, that bird burnt our house down.
1181
01:02:48,223 --> 01:02:49,759
But... But I...
- So long, woodpecker.
1182
01:02:50,100 --> 01:02:52,386
To think I was actually
starting to like you.
1183
01:02:53,103 --> 01:02:55,264
Dad, they’re gonna kill him.
- They’re not gonna kill him.
1184
01:02:55,355 --> 01:02:57,721
They’re gonna take him out in the mountains
and release him.
1185
01:02:58,024 --> 01:03:00,060
Yep, he’ll be free as a, urn...
1186
01:03:00,694 --> 01:03:02,434
Free as a, uh...
- A bird.
1187
01:03:03,530 --> 01:03:05,066
A little on the nose, Nate.
1188
01:03:05,740 --> 01:03:07,776
I was thinkin’ more like a wild stallion.
1189
01:03:08,159 --> 01:03:11,242
Dad, Jill and Lyle and me found their barn.
1190
01:03:11,329 --> 01:03:13,194
It’s filled with stuffed birds.
1191
01:03:13,748 --> 01:03:14,783
Taxidermists.
1192
01:03:15,458 --> 01:03:17,574
They're gonna kill Woody and stuff him,
I know it.
1193
01:03:22,090 --> 01:03:23,921
You are gonna let him go, right?
- Oh, uh...
1194
01:03:24,676 --> 01:03:25,711
I am as, uh...
1195
01:03:28,179 --> 01:03:29,043
good as my word.
1196
01:03:29,639 --> 01:03:31,049
Yeah, I'm cool. Thanks.
1197
01:03:32,809 --> 01:03:33,673
NATE CHUCKLES
1198
01:03:34,269 --> 01:03:37,602
So long, kid.
You were the first friend I ever had.
1199
01:03:42,193 --> 01:03:43,808
I'm sorry, Woody!
1200
01:03:49,200 --> 01:03:50,610
I will never forgive you.
1201
01:03:51,244 --> 01:03:52,279
Tommy, come on.
1202
01:03:52,370 --> 01:03:54,702
Someday you’ll understand
why I had to do this.
1203
01:03:55,123 --> 01:03:56,203
I understand.
1204
01:03:57,208 --> 01:03:59,950
I understand
that whenever something bothers you
1205
01:04:00,962 --> 01:04:01,997
you get rid of it
1206
01:04:02,881 --> 01:04:03,916
like me and Mom.
1207
01:04:05,091 --> 01:04:07,252
Come on, that is not fair and you know it.
1208
01:04:07,761 --> 01:04:09,717
I'm surprised
you didn’t have us stuffed, too.
1209
01:04:14,351 --> 01:04:15,386
LANCE:
Tommy.
1210
01:04:18,104 --> 01:04:19,139
Tommy!
1211
01:04:20,732 --> 01:04:23,223
WOODY: Yeah, you’re a real tough guy
when I'm all caged up!
1212
01:04:23,443 --> 01:04:26,480
Why don’t you open this cage
and we’ll step outside and do this right?
1213
01:04:26,571 --> 01:04:27,936
How about man to bird?
1214
01:04:28,490 --> 01:04:29,696
MUFFLED CRIES
1215
01:04:30,075 --> 01:04:32,487
A lot of chirp and no bite.
1216
01:04:33,578 --> 01:04:34,693
HE GULPS
- BANG
1217
01:04:37,499 --> 01:04:39,706
HE SQUAWKS
1218
01:04:40,126 --> 01:04:40,990
Hmph!
1219
01:04:46,800 --> 01:04:48,540
Guys! Guys!
- JILL: Check mate.
1220
01:04:49,636 --> 01:04:51,843
Woody’s been taken. I need your help.
1221
01:04:52,013 --> 01:04:53,844
What?
- No way!
1222
01:05:16,246 --> 01:05:17,110
LANCE SIGHS
1223
01:05:17,205 --> 01:05:20,242
Woody, you weren’t tryin’
to burn the house down.
1224
01:05:22,544 --> 01:05:23,533
Oh no.
1225
01:05:24,838 --> 01:05:26,544
It’s show time.
1226
01:05:27,590 --> 01:05:30,423
Gentlemen... and Lady
1227
01:05:31,344 --> 01:05:33,300
this here rare bird
1228
01:05:33,596 --> 01:05:36,508
is the Holy Grail of rare birds.
1229
01:05:37,100 --> 01:05:40,558
I give you... the legendary
1230
01:05:41,312 --> 01:05:45,305
Pileated Red—Crowned Woodpecker.
1231
01:05:45,984 --> 01:05:47,019
Hmph.
1232
01:05:47,694 --> 01:05:50,731
100 years it has been thought to be extinct.
1233
01:05:51,030 --> 01:05:54,022
Not only that, Nate,
but everyone thought it had died out.
1234
01:05:54,742 --> 01:05:57,154
And I'm the one who’s an endangered species?
1235
01:05:57,454 --> 01:06:02,039
Folks, the opportunity
to add this fine taxidermy specimen
1236
01:06:02,125 --> 01:06:03,114
to your collections
1237
01:06:03,209 --> 01:06:04,745
won’t ever come around again.
1238
01:06:04,836 --> 01:06:09,000
The bidding will start
at 100,000 dollars.
1239
01:06:09,632 --> 01:06:11,714
Do I have any takers?
1240
01:06:14,512 --> 01:06:16,878
LYLE: Oh, we can’t go in there.
There’s people in there.
1241
01:06:17,390 --> 01:06:18,721
Let’s see if there’s a back way.
1242
01:06:21,311 --> 01:06:22,972
AUCTION IN DISTANCE
1243
01:06:27,942 --> 01:06:29,057
We should call the police.
1244
01:06:29,652 --> 01:06:30,812
They’ll never believe us.
1245
01:06:31,571 --> 01:06:33,232
By the time they do, Woody will be dead.
1246
01:06:34,699 --> 01:06:36,781
NATE GLEEFULLY:
600,000, thank you.
1247
01:06:36,868 --> 01:06:42,363
670, 650, 650.
Do I hear 675? 700 dollars now...
1248
01:06:42,457 --> 01:06:44,243
Tommy, you came for me.
1249
01:06:44,834 --> 01:06:45,698
That's my boy.
1250
01:06:46,336 --> 01:06:49,419
NATE: 750,000 dollars, 750,000,
750,000 dollars.
1251
01:06:49,506 --> 01:06:53,670
Do I hear 800? 825, 825.
Ah, 850,000 dollars...
1252
01:06:53,760 --> 01:06:56,001
How do we get him outta there?
- We gotta sneak in and steal him.
1253
01:06:56,095 --> 01:06:58,006
They’ll catch us in a sec.
We have to call the police
1254
01:06:58,097 --> 01:06:59,052
or the National Guard.
1255
01:06:59,140 --> 01:07:00,676
That’ll never work.
We gotta lure them out.
1256
01:07:00,767 --> 01:07:02,974
How about we pretend
we’re wealthy eccentric bidders
1257
01:07:03,061 --> 01:07:05,052
who are willing to pay like
a million dollars for Woody?
1258
01:07:05,355 --> 01:07:06,310
Sold...
1259
01:07:07,273 --> 01:07:09,389
for a million dollars.
- TOMMY: Go, go, go, go, go.
1260
01:07:09,484 --> 01:07:10,974
OTIS LAUGHS
- LOYLE WHIMPERS
1261
01:07:11,653 --> 01:07:13,609
Going somewhere?
1262
01:07:15,865 --> 01:07:17,071
Hey, Sam, have you seen Tommy?
1263
01:07:17,659 --> 01:07:18,648
No, why?
1264
01:07:18,743 --> 01:07:20,608
I thought the woodpecker
burnt my house down on purpose
1265
01:07:20,703 --> 01:07:23,035
so I hired the Grimes brothers
to capture and get rid of it.
1266
01:07:23,748 --> 01:07:24,658
He’s pretty upset with me.
1267
01:07:24,958 --> 01:07:26,914
Any chance he might try and rescue it?
- Yeah, maybe.
1268
01:07:27,544 --> 01:07:29,455
I know where the Grimes’ place is. Come on.
1269
01:07:29,546 --> 01:07:34,040
900,000 dollars. Going twice.
1270
01:07:36,719 --> 01:07:40,382
Sold! To the guy in the...
funny lookin’ hat!
1271
01:07:40,807 --> 01:07:42,422
Thank you all so much for bidding.
1272
01:07:42,934 --> 01:07:45,391
Winner, you have
our electronic transfer information.
1273
01:07:45,562 --> 01:07:46,551
Funds are due in...
1274
01:07:47,480 --> 01:07:48,390
ten minutes.
1275
01:07:52,235 --> 01:07:56,979
THEY LAUGH WILDLY AND CHEERS
1276
01:08:00,535 --> 01:08:03,652
Oh, I hope you all are comfortable in there.
1277
01:08:05,081 --> 01:08:08,198
If you two so much as touch a hair
on my friends’ heads
1278
01:08:08,501 --> 01:08:11,914
I’ll peck you new ones,
and I ain’t talkin’ about nostrils!
1279
01:08:12,005 --> 01:08:16,169
Squawk it up, bird.
It’s the last noise you’ll ever make.
1280
01:08:17,302 --> 01:08:19,839
Just so you know,
you’re going to jail for this.
1281
01:08:20,138 --> 01:08:21,924
HIGH—PITHCED VOICE
Ooh, just so you know...
1282
01:08:22,015 --> 01:08:26,054
Not if they can’t catch us!
And we’re not stickin’ around to get caught!
1283
01:08:26,936 --> 01:08:31,100
We just sold that little bird
for close to a million dollars stuffed.
1284
01:08:31,524 --> 01:08:35,938
Otis and me are officially retiring
to Kerching City.
1285
01:08:36,112 --> 01:08:38,979
Kerching City. That's in China.
1286
01:08:42,035 --> 01:08:44,117
What?
- Start loading the truck.
1287
01:08:44,996 --> 01:08:46,031
Please.
1288
01:08:59,427 --> 01:09:02,635
Excuse me, Mr Poacher, sir,
is that poison gluten free?
1289
01:09:03,097 --> 01:09:05,634
Aw, don't worry, bird.
1290
01:09:06,351 --> 01:09:08,933
This is just gonna be like taking a nap.
1291
01:09:09,604 --> 01:09:10,639
Forever.
1292
01:09:10,730 --> 01:09:11,890
Don't do this!
1293
01:09:12,440 --> 01:09:15,932
Whatever you're getting for Woody,
my dad will pay double.
1294
01:09:16,611 --> 01:09:18,647
I thought you said your dad was broke.
1295
01:09:19,489 --> 01:09:20,524
CLEARS THROAT
1296
01:09:20,615 --> 01:09:22,901
Oh, you were bluffing.
1297
01:09:23,368 --> 01:09:24,232
My bad.
1298
01:09:36,923 --> 01:09:37,787
Nate!
1299
01:09:37,882 --> 01:09:38,917
CAR HORN HONKS
1300
01:09:39,008 --> 01:09:40,088
Now what?
1301
01:09:40,968 --> 01:09:42,003
Nate!
1302
01:09:42,595 --> 01:09:43,459
Otis, are you...?
1303
01:09:47,642 --> 01:09:50,349
Well, howdy, Mr Walters.
What can I do ya for?
1304
01:09:51,145 --> 01:09:53,227
You got a moose problem now or...?
1305
01:09:53,314 --> 01:09:56,306
I was lookin’ for Tommy. He was pretty upset
about the whole woodpecker thing
1306
01:09:56,401 --> 01:09:58,483
and I... I thought he might’ve come up here
lookin’ for it.
1307
01:09:58,569 --> 01:10:03,689
Well, you know how kids are about animals.
I'm sure he’ll be fine in a couple of days.
1308
01:10:03,783 --> 01:10:05,865
I'll uh... I’ll keep an eye out for him.
1309
01:10:06,869 --> 01:10:08,109
Well...
1310
01:10:08,705 --> 01:10:09,569
see ya around.
1311
01:10:11,416 --> 01:10:13,873
You guys goin’ somewhere?
- Uh, no.
1312
01:10:15,253 --> 01:10:16,288
Our, um...
1313
01:10:17,046 --> 01:10:19,958
HE CHUCKLES
barn has a termite problem.
1314
01:10:20,299 --> 01:10:23,211
We’re just, uh, clearin’ out
while we fumigate the place.
1315
01:10:23,678 --> 01:10:26,090
Yeah, you do not wanna breathe
those chemicals.
1316
01:10:26,305 --> 01:10:27,511
I learned that the hard way.
1317
01:10:30,101 --> 01:10:31,136
Wait a minute.
1318
01:10:33,479 --> 01:10:35,219
I want the woodpecker back.
- You do?
1319
01:10:35,606 --> 01:10:37,096
You do?
- Yeah, I do.
1320
01:10:38,192 --> 01:10:40,399
If that’s what it takes
to make my son happy, it’s worth it.
1321
01:10:40,486 --> 01:10:44,820
I'm real sorry, Mr Walters, we...
We already let him go.
1322
01:10:45,283 --> 01:10:47,023
LANCE: You did?
- NATE: Yeah. He's, uh...
1323
01:10:47,118 --> 01:10:49,780
He’s probably flappin’ his way
to Saskatchewan by now.
1324
01:10:49,871 --> 01:10:51,407
Come on, Lance, let’s go find Tommy.
1325
01:10:53,416 --> 01:10:55,907
Good luck findin’ your, you know, kid.
1326
01:11:02,049 --> 01:11:05,212
Otis, let’s stuff that bird
and get the heck outta Dodge.
1327
01:11:09,307 --> 01:11:10,171
What are you doing?
1328
01:11:10,516 --> 01:11:13,178
For the past year I’ve been finding these
wherever there’s been poaching.
1329
01:11:13,811 --> 01:11:14,846
It has to be them.
1330
01:11:15,730 --> 01:11:17,311
And I bet anything they still have Woody.
1331
01:11:18,649 --> 01:11:20,059
Get the gun, Otis.
1332
01:11:20,359 --> 01:11:21,974
It’s time to wrap this up!
- TOMMY: No!
1333
01:11:22,069 --> 01:11:23,730
Please don't.
- TOMMY: Don't do this.
1334
01:11:24,030 --> 01:11:26,567
Hey, don’t I get a last request?
Like you let me go?
1335
01:11:26,824 --> 01:11:29,236
TOMMY: No, please, no, no, no, no!
- WOODY: Please.
1336
01:11:30,828 --> 01:11:31,863
Hold it right there.
1337
01:11:33,372 --> 01:11:36,284
We’re saved! Oh, you two are so goin’ down!
1338
01:11:37,251 --> 01:11:38,115
What the hell!
1339
01:11:38,211 --> 01:11:40,918
Dad!
- You put my son in a cage?!
1340
01:11:44,133 --> 01:11:45,498
Well, that was disappointing.
1341
01:11:46,344 --> 01:11:47,459
Ow.
1342
01:11:58,564 --> 01:11:59,679
The sheriff’s on his way.
1343
01:11:59,774 --> 01:12:04,063
We’ll be well over the Canadian border
by the time he gets here.
1344
01:12:06,739 --> 01:12:08,730
Otis, get me my gun.
1345
01:12:08,991 --> 01:12:11,027
Dad, I'm so sorry.
1346
01:12:11,786 --> 01:12:14,778
I just couldn’t let them kill Woody.
- Tommy, this is not your fault.
1347
01:12:15,998 --> 01:12:18,580
If I had listened to you in the first place,
we wouldn’t be here.
1348
01:12:20,127 --> 01:12:21,663
Uh, real heartfelt moment
1349
01:12:21,754 --> 01:12:23,710
but can we please save the schmaltz
for later?
1350
01:12:23,798 --> 01:12:26,505
In case you didn’t notice,
I'm about to get stuffed!
1351
01:12:27,093 --> 01:12:28,128
This time...
1352
01:12:29,178 --> 01:12:30,668
no interruptions.
1353
01:12:31,639 --> 01:12:32,628
HE WHIMPERS
1354
01:12:35,643 --> 01:12:37,349
Guess we could kiss the sequel goodbye.
1355
01:12:41,232 --> 01:12:42,267
LANCE GRUNTS
1356
01:12:42,483 --> 01:12:43,939
That cage was built to hold a bear.
1357
01:12:44,026 --> 01:12:44,936
LANCE GRUNTS
1358
01:12:45,027 --> 01:12:46,107
You can’t escape.
1359
01:12:46,404 --> 01:12:47,268
LANCE CRIES OUT
1360
01:12:48,698 --> 01:12:50,484
Who said anything about me gettin’ out?
1361
01:12:53,286 --> 01:12:54,571
Huh? Hm.
1362
01:12:56,080 --> 01:12:59,993
Get ready for a beat down!
- Oh crud.
1363
01:13:00,751 --> 01:13:01,957
NATE AND OTIS SHOUT OUT
1364
01:13:02,044 --> 01:13:03,159
PUNCHES AND GRUNTING
1365
01:13:03,254 --> 01:13:05,495
I wonder who’s gonna win.
The suspense is killing me!
1366
01:13:05,756 --> 01:13:07,462
Take this. And some of these.
1367
01:13:07,550 --> 01:13:08,835
WOODY GRUNTS
1368
01:13:08,926 --> 01:13:10,336
Where do you think you're going?
1369
01:13:12,513 --> 01:13:14,094
OTIS SCREAMS
1370
01:13:14,181 --> 01:13:15,045
OTIS:
Whoa!
1371
01:13:17,059 --> 01:13:19,926
Now that’s what I call, takin’ out
the trailer trash!
1372
01:13:22,523 --> 01:13:23,729
Nice job, Woody.
1373
01:13:24,317 --> 01:13:25,727
Hey, I got your back.
1374
01:13:27,570 --> 01:13:28,855
Heads up!
1375
01:13:28,946 --> 01:13:30,686
SIRENS WAIL
1376
01:13:30,781 --> 01:13:31,736
Get... Get up.
1377
01:13:32,283 --> 01:13:33,648
Otis! Otis!
1378
01:13:33,743 --> 01:13:34,983
Woody, don’t let them get away!
1379
01:13:35,786 --> 01:13:37,401
NATE: Come on, come on.
- Woody, go get them!
1380
01:13:38,080 --> 01:13:38,944
I'm on it!
1381
01:13:40,458 --> 01:13:42,699
Stop in the name of the law!
1382
01:13:43,419 --> 01:13:45,330
WOODY GRUNTS
- Ooh.
1383
01:13:47,131 --> 01:13:48,962
WOODY GRUNTS
1384
01:13:50,635 --> 01:13:52,375
OTIS:
Oh no. Oh no. No.
1385
01:13:52,470 --> 01:13:53,505
The truck!
- Keys?
1386
01:13:54,597 --> 01:13:55,552
Ah, the ATV!
1387
01:13:55,640 --> 01:13:58,052
Oh, take the logging trail
across the border. Go!
1388
01:14:08,069 --> 01:14:09,525
WOODY STRUGGLES:
Ah, ee, uh!
1389
01:14:09,987 --> 01:14:11,477
HE GRUNTS
1390
01:14:13,074 --> 01:14:15,406
Ah! I got this.
1391
01:14:17,495 --> 01:14:19,736
Ah, cue the action chase music!
1392
01:14:21,666 --> 01:14:24,078
FAST ROCK MUSIC
1393
01:14:30,424 --> 01:14:31,459
Ha—ha!
1394
01:14:37,014 --> 01:14:38,845
I'm comin’ to get ya!
1395
01:14:47,233 --> 01:14:49,098
Argh. Whoa—oh!
1396
01:14:49,652 --> 01:14:51,483
Whoo—hoo—hoo! Whoa!
1397
01:14:59,870 --> 01:15:02,657
OTIS: I think we lost him.
- Well, come on, let’s go!
1398
01:15:06,794 --> 01:15:08,375
OTIS:
Um.. kick it! Come on!
1399
01:15:14,051 --> 01:15:15,791
WOODY: Going somewhere?
- Whoa. Hold on.
1400
01:15:16,887 --> 01:15:19,048
CANADIAN ACCENT:
Oh, hello, eh, welcome to Canada
1401
01:15:20,391 --> 01:15:21,676
You have anything to declare?
1402
01:15:22,143 --> 01:15:24,304
Quick. Let's go back.
- Get a grip.
1403
01:15:24,520 --> 01:15:26,636
It's just one little bird.
There's two of us.
1404
01:15:27,273 --> 01:15:29,184
HE MAKES KARATE NOISES
1405
01:15:29,692 --> 01:15:30,556
Oo—ha!
1406
01:15:30,651 --> 01:15:33,063
Make your move, bird.
1407
01:15:33,529 --> 01:15:35,360
A knife?
- HE CLUCKS
1408
01:15:36,240 --> 01:15:38,276
NATE LAUGHS
1409
01:15:38,617 --> 01:15:41,359
I told you he was more chicken
than woodpecker. Let's...
1410
01:15:41,454 --> 01:15:42,739
PECKING
1411
01:15:42,830 --> 01:15:43,694
NATE:
Oh.
1412
01:15:47,418 --> 01:15:48,282
OTIS:
What the heck?
1413
01:15:52,339 --> 01:15:53,203
THEY SCREAM
1414
01:15:54,508 --> 01:15:55,748
And for this week’s lesson...
1415
01:15:57,428 --> 01:15:59,464
gravity! Tooda—Ioo—hee—hoo!
1416
01:16:04,351 --> 01:16:05,386
HE LAUGHS
1417
01:16:21,368 --> 01:16:22,232
Going somewhere?
1418
01:16:24,038 --> 01:16:25,869
Hey ya, fellas, remember me?
1419
01:16:26,624 --> 01:16:29,457
Save us.
- Yeah, please lock us up.
1420
01:16:30,002 --> 01:16:32,584
OTIS: Save... Save us from that bird.
- NATE: Lock us up. I'm beggin' you.
1421
01:16:32,922 --> 01:16:35,789
I have been waiting for this day
for a very long time.
1422
01:16:35,883 --> 01:16:37,714
That bird is crazy.
1423
01:16:39,178 --> 01:16:40,384
Who you calling crazy?
1424
01:16:40,721 --> 01:16:42,882
HE LAUGHS WILDLY
1425
01:16:42,973 --> 01:16:45,510
NATE MUTTERS INDISTINCTLY
1426
01:16:45,601 --> 01:16:48,468
Now it’s your turn to live in a cage. Ha!
1427
01:16:48,562 --> 01:16:50,894
LANCE: So, what do you think?
- TOMMY: It's pretty cool, Dad.
1428
01:16:50,981 --> 01:16:51,845
SAM: It's beautiful.
1429
01:16:51,941 --> 01:16:53,932
LANCE: If you think it’s beautiful now,
wait 'til it’s actually built.
1430
01:16:54,026 --> 01:16:55,891
Good thing our insurance
covered woodpecker damage.
1431
01:16:56,195 --> 01:16:58,106
Well, I think you’re going to be
very happy here.
1432
01:16:58,197 --> 01:16:59,562
And since it’s a smaller footprint
1433
01:16:59,657 --> 01:17:01,693
there’ll be plenty of room
for the nine hole golf course.
1434
01:17:02,618 --> 01:17:04,984
I'm surprised you didn’t want
to build a shopping mall.
1435
01:17:05,162 --> 01:17:06,527
What an amazing idea!
1436
01:17:07,414 --> 01:17:09,780
Oh, dad. The surprise.
- Ooh, right.
1437
01:17:10,000 --> 01:17:12,116
Saved the best for last. Hey, Woody!
1438
01:17:12,753 --> 01:17:15,335
Oh, Woody!
- Is it food o'clock?
1439
01:17:15,548 --> 01:17:18,335
LANCE: Woody, I am very sorry
I destroyed your home
1440
01:17:18,425 --> 01:17:20,916
but technically you destroyed mine first,
so we’re even, but...
1441
01:17:21,095 --> 01:17:24,258
in the interest of harmonious living,
I got somethin’ for ya.
1442
01:17:24,765 --> 01:17:25,971
WOODY PANTS WITH EXCITEMENT
1443
01:17:27,226 --> 01:17:28,090
Ready?
1444
01:17:29,937 --> 01:17:30,801
WOODY GASPS
1445
01:17:30,896 --> 01:17:33,353
Whoo—hoo! I got a home again!
1446
01:17:33,649 --> 01:17:37,312
Wow, it’s got built in appliances
and granite counter tops.
1447
01:17:37,778 --> 01:17:38,813
Alright!
1448
01:17:40,656 --> 01:17:42,442
You guys are my family now
1449
01:17:43,117 --> 01:17:44,903
and I never even knew I needed one.
1450
01:17:45,578 --> 01:17:49,537
Aw, he's giving you love taps.
- Ow! Ow! Too much love, Woody!
1451
01:17:49,623 --> 01:17:50,658
Woody, I got it!
1452
01:17:54,587 --> 01:17:56,498
Night, Dad.
- Night, Tommy.
1453
01:18:15,191 --> 01:18:18,900
PECKING
1454
01:18:31,373 --> 01:18:32,453
Home sweet home.
1455
01:18:32,833 --> 01:18:33,697
HE SIGHS HAPPILY
1456
01:18:33,792 --> 01:18:35,657
Don't you just loove happy endings.
1457
01:18:35,753 --> 01:18:37,243
Hey! Whoops!
1458
01:18:38,172 --> 01:18:39,161
THEY SHOUT OUT AND PANT
1459
01:18:40,257 --> 01:18:41,417
BOTH: Huh?
- HE LAUGHS
1460
01:18:41,467 --> 01:18:42,331
My bad.
1461
01:18:42,593 --> 01:18:43,457
Woody!
1462
01:18:43,928 --> 01:18:44,792
Gotta fly!
1463
01:18:44,887 --> 01:18:48,175
HE LAUGHS WILDLY
1464
01:18:50,017 --> 01:18:52,724
Boy, someone's in a hurry for the credits.
See ya!
1465
01:18:53,020 --> 01:18:56,433
MUSIC:
"Troublemaker" by Blaze N Vill
1466
01:24:14,216 --> 01:24:15,205
Guess who!
1467
01:24:18,387 --> 01:24:22,050
HE LAUGHS WILDLY
1468
01:24:43,620 --> 01:24:47,078
PARK RANGER: Niagara Falls
is one of the most scenic spots
1469
01:24:47,165 --> 01:24:48,325
in all the world.
1470
01:24:49,042 --> 01:24:53,832
The grandeur of this famous attraction
brings visitors from far and near.
1471
01:24:54,298 --> 01:24:59,668
It is a favourite spot for honeymooners
who stand and gaze at its wondrous beauty.
1472
01:25:00,387 --> 01:25:01,422
HE CLEARS THROAT
1473
01:25:01,638 --> 01:25:04,630
Niagara affects different people
in different ways.
1474
01:25:05,142 --> 01:25:09,932
Some people are overcome by a strong urge
to go over the falls in a barrel.
1475
01:25:10,480 --> 01:25:14,268
Of course, this foolhardy stunt
is now absolutely prohibited.
1476
01:25:14,735 --> 01:25:19,570
And, I might add, nobody has gone over
since I’ve been on the job.
1477
01:25:19,906 --> 01:25:21,942
Nobody?
- Nobody.
1478
01:25:22,117 --> 01:25:22,981
And I...
1479
01:25:23,619 --> 01:25:24,574
A barrel?!
1480
01:25:25,495 --> 01:25:29,864
Hey, you, going over the falls in a barrel
is absolutely prohibited!
1481
01:25:36,214 --> 01:25:38,205
Hey, come back with my barrel.
1482
01:25:43,722 --> 01:25:48,341
Yikes! No, no, no, nooo!
1483
01:25:52,564 --> 01:25:55,431
Hooray! Hooray!
1484
01:25:58,654 --> 01:25:59,689
WOMAN LAUGHS
1485
01:26:06,745 --> 01:26:08,736
Well, now I need a new barrel.
1486
01:26:11,625 --> 01:26:12,865
Good barrel.
1487
01:26:13,460 --> 01:26:15,917
Good solid barrel.
1488
01:26:17,089 --> 01:26:18,124
Whoa.
1489
01:26:20,592 --> 01:26:22,378
HE SCREAMS
- Bring back my barrel!
1490
01:26:23,178 --> 01:26:24,042
You...!
1491
01:26:24,429 --> 01:26:27,216
Hooray! Hooray!
1492
01:26:40,737 --> 01:26:43,820
Come outta there, you.
Crazy woodpecker!
1493
01:26:44,157 --> 01:26:46,068
I’ll show ya! Take that!
1494
01:26:46,535 --> 01:26:47,650
Now keep out...
1495
01:26:48,870 --> 01:26:50,235
and stay out!
1496
01:26:53,667 --> 01:26:55,077
Oh no!
1497
01:26:57,838 --> 01:27:01,126
Hooray!
- Ah, shut up!
1498
01:27:16,148 --> 01:27:17,183
WOLF—WHISTLES
1499
01:27:21,236 --> 01:27:22,271
A barrel!
1500
01:27:25,198 --> 01:27:27,405
I know a barrel when I see one!
1501
01:27:27,993 --> 01:27:28,857
WOMAN:
Yow!
1502
01:27:37,002 --> 01:27:39,744
Hooray! Hooray!
1503
01:27:56,688 --> 01:27:58,895
Hooray! Hooray!
1504
01:28:05,447 --> 01:28:07,529
CAR HORN HONKS
1505
01:28:09,201 --> 01:28:10,407
That woodpecker!
1506
01:28:23,298 --> 01:28:28,042
Before we go over now, men,
is there anyone here without a barrel?
1507
01:28:31,181 --> 01:28:33,763
Hooray! Hooray!
1508
01:28:48,323 --> 01:28:51,406
Oh, wh... Which way to Niagara... Falls?
1509
01:28:55,914 --> 01:28:58,280
HE SINGS HAPPILY
# Doo, doo—doo, da—dee! #
1510
01:28:59,042 --> 01:29:00,077
Mush!
1511
01:29:00,961 --> 01:29:03,623
# Doo—doo—doo—doo, da—doo, doo, da—dee! #
1512
01:29:04,297 --> 01:29:05,332
Mush!
1513
01:29:06,299 --> 01:29:08,631
# Doo, da—da—da—dee! #
1514
01:29:09,386 --> 01:29:10,421
Mush!
1515
01:29:11,638 --> 01:29:14,471
# Dee dee, diddle—diddle—diddle—doo—doo!
Da—dum! #
1516
01:29:15,433 --> 01:29:16,468
PARK RANGER: Mush!
1517
01:29:17,644 --> 01:29:19,885
# Da, da—da da—dee! #
1518
01:29:25,277 --> 01:29:26,483
CHILD CRIES
1519
01:29:27,070 --> 01:29:27,934
Hush!
1520
01:29:28,321 --> 01:29:31,028
# Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo—doo—dee, da—doo! #
1521
01:29:32,075 --> 01:29:32,939
Mush!
1522
01:29:33,618 --> 01:29:36,075
# Dee, du—du—doo—doo! #
1523
01:29:36,705 --> 01:29:39,367
# Da, da, da, da, da, da—daa, da—daa! #
1524
01:29:39,875 --> 01:29:41,160
ROAR OF WATER...
1525
01:29:41,710 --> 01:29:42,745
SILENCE
1526
01:29:48,800 --> 01:29:52,292
PARK RANGER: Now we’ll see
who’s going over the falls in a barrel.
1527
01:29:55,098 --> 01:29:56,383
GUSH OF WATER
1528
01:29:58,435 --> 01:30:00,175
Hooray!
1529
01:30:00,270 --> 01:30:02,477
SIREN WAILS
1530
01:30:02,564 --> 01:30:05,476
So, going over the falls in a barrel, eh?
1531
01:30:06,276 --> 01:30:07,516
I'm giving you a ticket.
1532
01:30:09,529 --> 01:30:12,692
HE LAUGHS WILDLY
113139
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