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1
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074
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2
00:01:36,729 --> 00:01:40,324
- I swear, if'n you don't
learn to share this honey...
3
00:01:40,433 --> 00:01:42,594
I'm gonna give you a real whuppin:
4
00:01:42,702 --> 00:01:45,967
Now go on!
5
00:01:58,952 --> 00:02:03,355
- Is the doctor in?
- No doubt about it.
6
00:02:03,456 --> 00:02:07,415
- What's ailin' ya, Fat Elmer?
- I et too much cheese.
7
00:02:07,527 --> 00:02:09,427
Now I can't burp.
8
00:02:10,997 --> 00:02:12,897
Can ya fix me, Granny?
9
00:03:03,216 --> 00:03:06,049
Dang.
10
00:04:25,365 --> 00:04:28,260
Before I sign anything...
11
00:04:28,368 --> 00:04:30,802
I want to know how much money
we're talkin' about.
12
00:04:30,903 --> 00:04:32,803
Mr. Clampett, there's more petroleum
in your swamp...
13
00:04:32,905 --> 00:04:35,635
than there is in all of Kuwait.
14
00:04:35,742 --> 00:04:37,903
- That bad, huh?
- Mr. Clampett...
15
00:04:38,011 --> 00:04:43,449
you are sitting on the biggest
domestic oil strike in history.
16
00:04:43,549 --> 00:04:47,451
And when you sign these contracts,
we're going to pay you one billion dollars.
17
00:04:50,089 --> 00:04:52,956
Do you have anybody
who can advise you on these contracts?
18
00:04:54,794 --> 00:04:57,892
Cousin jethro's a-comin'tomorrow night
for Sunday supper, Pa.
19
00:04:57,997 --> 00:05:01,160
He's the one with the learnin'.
He went to school at Oxford.
20
00:05:15,081 --> 00:05:17,049
- Jethro.
- Yes, Ma?
21
00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:19,414
Did you fix those bare-as-bones brakes
like I told you?
22
00:05:19,519 --> 00:05:22,420
Of course.
I pulled 'em off yesterday.
23
00:05:22,522 --> 00:05:25,650
The new ones are
comin' in the mail next week.
24
00:05:41,040 --> 00:05:42,940
- Jethro!
- Howdy, Granny.
25
00:05:43,042 --> 00:05:46,500
Oh! You dadblamed
simpleminded yahoo!
26
00:05:46,612 --> 00:05:50,104
Your crack-bucket head's
emptier than last year's bird's nest.
27
00:05:50,216 --> 00:05:52,980
If your head was filled with dynamite...
28
00:05:53,086 --> 00:05:54,986
- Ow! Ow!
- You wouldn't know how to blow your nose!
29
00:05:55,088 --> 00:05:57,079
- You...
- Ow!
30
00:05:57,190 --> 00:05:59,215
- Granny! Ow! Granny!
- Just get out of my sight!
31
00:06:02,061 --> 00:06:03,892
Now, jedediah...
32
00:06:03,996 --> 00:06:06,396
you're fixin' to be the richest man
in this here county.
33
00:06:06,499 --> 00:06:11,801
Look at how you live. Why, your land's
overrun with snakes and skunks.
34
00:06:11,904 --> 00:06:15,237
You got no TV, no telephone and no radio.
35
00:06:17,243 --> 00:06:20,804
You're right, Pearl.
We are a-livin'in paradise.
36
00:06:20,913 --> 00:06:24,405
No, Jed!
Paradise is someplace like...
37
00:06:24,517 --> 00:06:26,417
Beverly Hills, Californy.
38
00:06:26,519 --> 00:06:29,079
- They got swimmin'pools.
- Mm-hmm.
39
00:06:29,188 --> 00:06:31,486
- And movie stars.
- And smog.
40
00:06:31,591 --> 00:06:34,560
What's a smog?
41
00:06:40,199 --> 00:06:42,963
I reckon it's a small hog.
42
00:06:43,069 --> 00:06:47,096
Now, if you're not gonna think about yourself,
think about your daughter.
43
00:06:47,206 --> 00:06:50,403
You need to get remarried, jed,
and she needs a ma...
44
00:06:50,510 --> 00:06:52,740
someone to teach her
womanly ways.
45
00:06:52,845 --> 00:06:57,407
- She's runnin'wild, jed.
She's no different than a boy.
46
00:06:57,517 --> 00:07:01,613
Imagine that. Elly May
wearin'fancy dresses...
47
00:07:01,721 --> 00:07:04,588
and actin' ladylike!
48
00:07:04,690 --> 00:07:08,649
Well, that don't sound like much fun.
49
00:07:11,264 --> 00:07:15,462
Beverly Hills.
50
00:07:17,637 --> 00:07:19,798
Listen to what I'm sayin: jed.
51
00:07:19,906 --> 00:07:22,374
It would be the best thing for y'all.
52
00:07:22,475 --> 00:07:25,911
Just pack up all your belongin's
and move on out there.
53
00:07:26,012 --> 00:07:29,948
Jethro could drive you out
in his truck.
54
00:07:30,049 --> 00:07:33,883
I ain't drivin' in no movin' vehicle
with no dunderhead.
55
00:07:33,986 --> 00:07:36,011
I ain't no dunderhead.
56
00:07:37,390 --> 00:07:41,326
- Come on! Put me down!
- Set him down.
57
00:07:44,764 --> 00:07:48,325
- See what I mean?
- Who are you, mister?
58
00:07:48,434 --> 00:07:51,665
Ozark Mountain Oil. Mr. Briggs sent me
to see if you'd signed the contract.
59
00:07:51,771 --> 00:07:53,864
- Oh, my.
- Elly May Clampett.
60
00:07:55,308 --> 00:07:57,572
Well, that's it.
61
00:07:57,677 --> 00:07:59,645
I've made my decision.
62
00:08:01,047 --> 00:08:03,845
For the good
of this here family...
63
00:08:03,950 --> 00:08:06,009
I'm a-movin' us to Beverly Hills.
64
00:08:09,088 --> 00:08:13,218
Now, don't you worry, Elly May.
65
00:08:13,326 --> 00:08:17,558
- We gonna take good care of your critters for ya.
- Okay, Sam. I know you will.
66
00:08:20,333 --> 00:08:23,825
Oh, Ma!
67
00:08:28,474 --> 00:08:32,103
What's all this I hear about you
not wantin' to go to Californy?
68
00:08:32,211 --> 00:08:34,441
I like it here.
Say what you will...
69
00:08:34,547 --> 00:08:37,778
but there ain't nothin' you can do
to get me off of this rockin' chair.
70
00:08:39,819 --> 00:08:42,947
- I ain't goin' nowheres! Cut me loose!
- It's a long ride to Californy.
71
00:08:43,055 --> 00:08:46,081
Jedediah Clampett, I'm gonna skin you alive!
72
00:08:46,192 --> 00:08:48,752
Hush up, Granny.
73
00:08:48,861 --> 00:08:50,954
Get goin', boy,
before she breaks loose.
74
00:08:51,063 --> 00:08:52,928
I ain't a-goin:!
75
00:09:11,350 --> 00:09:13,318
Watch your head, Granny.
76
00:09:34,006 --> 00:09:37,373
There's so many people
in this here town.
77
00:09:37,476 --> 00:09:40,775
Goin' to take a long time to meet everybody.
78
00:09:40,880 --> 00:09:43,781
Hey! Nice wheels, buddy!
79
00:09:43,883 --> 00:09:49,150
- Jethro, why do you think
that feller's pointin' at us?
80
00:09:49,255 --> 00:09:52,452
I reckon that's the way
they wave "howdy" in Californy.
81
00:09:57,263 --> 00:09:59,629
- Has, uh...
- Uh.! Excuse us.!
82
00:09:59,732 --> 00:10:01,757
Has escrow closed
on the Clampett estate?
83
00:10:01,867 --> 00:10:05,200
Yes, chief. With an offer
of 22 million in cash, it closed swiftly.
84
00:10:05,304 --> 00:10:07,204
And I must say,
it is inspirational...
85
00:10:07,306 --> 00:10:10,139
how you happened to find a place
for the Clampetts right next-door to your own.
86
00:10:10,242 --> 00:10:12,142
Hathaway, the people
who lived there...
87
00:10:12,244 --> 00:10:14,838
were my best friends and neighbors
for over 20 years.
88
00:10:14,947 --> 00:10:16,881
It's a shame they had
to file for bankruptcy.
89
00:10:16,983 --> 00:10:22,148
Yeah. I just hope my call to the I.R.S.
didn't have anything to do with it. Well.
90
00:10:27,627 --> 00:10:31,859
- Now, um, what time does their fight arrive?
- That's just it, chief.
91
00:10:31,964 --> 00:10:34,023
- They're driving.
- Driving?
92
00:10:34,133 --> 00:10:35,794
From Arkansas?
93
00:10:35,901 --> 00:10:38,131
I know it makes no sense whatsoever.
94
00:10:38,237 --> 00:10:40,535
Not to you, perhaps.
95
00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:42,870
But to a man with vision,
like myself...
96
00:10:42,975 --> 00:10:47,378
- That is a sign of daring, self-confidence, vigor.
- Of course, chief.
97
00:10:51,083 --> 00:10:53,347
Hmm. Doesn't he look busy at work.
98
00:10:53,452 --> 00:10:55,545
Tyler.
99
00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:58,818
- Would you step in here for a moment, please.
- Oh!
100
00:11:01,427 --> 00:11:04,760
- Geez.
- It's an earthquake.!
101
00:11:08,300 --> 00:11:09,892
Oh.
102
00:11:22,448 --> 00:11:26,680
- You wanted to consult with me?
- Sit down, Tyler. Relax.
103
00:11:28,654 --> 00:11:31,782
I have heard that you are quite excited
about the arrival of the Clampetts.
104
00:11:31,891 --> 00:11:34,519
I think that you and I,
together...
105
00:11:34,627 --> 00:11:38,723
can fully exploit the potential
of the Clampett financial portfolio.
106
00:11:38,831 --> 00:11:41,391
Hmm.
107
00:11:41,500 --> 00:11:44,765
You and I. The two of us.
108
00:11:44,870 --> 00:11:47,896
I've already taken the liberty of drawing up
the power of attorney papers.
109
00:11:48,007 --> 00:11:51,602
- Have you now?
- So I can write checks, arrange investments...
110
00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:53,872
make international transactions.
111
00:11:53,979 --> 00:11:56,573
- Really work the Clampett account.
- Hmm.
112
00:11:56,682 --> 00:11:58,206
We'll be quite the team, sir.
113
00:11:58,317 --> 00:12:00,478
Mmm.
114
00:12:02,388 --> 00:12:05,289
Tyler, you will personally
rescind, shred and burn...
115
00:12:05,391 --> 00:12:08,258
every paper you have drawn up
with regard to the Clampett account.
116
00:12:09,862 --> 00:12:13,389
- I'll be handling that account personally.
- Duly noted.
117
00:12:13,499 --> 00:12:15,660
And nice kick, sir.
118
00:12:15,768 --> 00:12:17,793
Took me completely by surprise.
119
00:12:19,739 --> 00:12:22,139
Tyler.
120
00:12:22,241 --> 00:12:25,802
- The Clampetts will not be badgered.
- Sir?
121
00:12:25,911 --> 00:12:28,675
They are not your common
garden-variety millionaires.
122
00:12:28,781 --> 00:12:32,649
They are, in fact, billionaires.
123
00:12:32,752 --> 00:12:37,121
By definition, people of,
uh, discrimination...
124
00:12:37,223 --> 00:12:40,590
discernment, great refinement.
125
00:12:42,795 --> 00:12:45,628
Boy, howdy.!
126
00:12:46,832 --> 00:12:49,596
Hey! Jethro, we's supposed
to go thataway.
127
00:12:59,945 --> 00:13:03,472
Hey! You cut us off, you bunch of nothin's!
128
00:13:07,219 --> 00:13:09,847
That's real nice, son.
129
00:13:09,955 --> 00:13:11,855
This here's what I carry.
130
00:13:13,592 --> 00:13:15,492
Okay. Go! Go, go!
131
00:13:19,131 --> 00:13:21,099
Margaret!
132
00:13:24,436 --> 00:13:26,404
Morgan, come in here
a minute, please.
133
00:13:26,505 --> 00:13:29,838
Hi. I'm Doug Llewelyn, and welcome
to the People's Court.
134
00:13:29,942 --> 00:13:32,342
Where is your mother?
135
00:13:32,444 --> 00:13:34,412
She's changing.
136
00:13:34,513 --> 00:13:36,913
That would be
too much to hope for.
137
00:13:37,016 --> 00:13:40,110
- Oh.
- Milburn, I'm sorry. I have to cancel our lunch.
138
00:13:40,219 --> 00:13:43,382
- What?
- I have to spend more quality time with Babette.
139
00:13:43,489 --> 00:13:48,722
Margaret, dear, we are trying to do more things
together... put the spark back, remember?
140
00:13:48,828 --> 00:13:51,194
You claim the defendant
has your dog?
141
00:13:51,297 --> 00:13:53,197
- Um, well, actually...
- Yes or no?
142
00:13:53,299 --> 00:13:55,824
- Yes, we do. - Morgan.
Morgan. - It's my dog.
143
00:13:55,935 --> 00:13:59,166
- It's your dog?
- Yes. I raised this dog from a pup, and due to...
144
00:14:01,407 --> 00:14:04,740
Morgan, I have a little job for you.
145
00:14:04,844 --> 00:14:08,746
- Ajob?
- Yes. J.D. Clampett has a daughter your age.
146
00:14:08,848 --> 00:14:10,975
Now, she's goin'
to high school with you.
147
00:14:11,083 --> 00:14:12,983
I want you
to show her around.
148
00:14:13,085 --> 00:14:15,781
- Just be her friend.
- Oh, man.
149
00:14:15,888 --> 00:14:18,322
You wanna pay me
to hang out with her?
150
00:14:18,424 --> 00:14:21,655
She must be a major bowwow.
151
00:14:21,760 --> 00:14:23,728
Son.
152
00:14:23,829 --> 00:14:25,854
Morgan.
153
00:14:25,965 --> 00:14:28,297
Close your eyes.
154
00:14:28,400 --> 00:14:30,630
Close your eyes.
155
00:14:30,736 --> 00:14:32,704
Now picture this.
156
00:14:32,805 --> 00:14:34,705
I cut off your allowance...
157
00:14:34,807 --> 00:14:36,707
Cancel your credit cards...
158
00:14:36,809 --> 00:14:38,936
And delete you from my will.
159
00:14:39,044 --> 00:14:42,070
Now, how do you see
your future?
160
00:14:42,181 --> 00:14:44,809
Grilling frozen cow parts
at Burger King?
161
00:14:46,318 --> 00:14:50,015
And people say you're stupid.
162
00:14:50,122 --> 00:14:52,454
Monday morning,
first period, 8:00 a. M...
163
00:14:52,558 --> 00:14:54,719
she'll be like the little sister
Mom thought would ruin her figure.
164
00:15:00,833 --> 00:15:03,961
- The dog will go to the plaintiff,
Rusty.
165
00:15:25,524 --> 00:15:28,084
Honey, I'm home.
166
00:15:28,193 --> 00:15:31,788
Why don't you come here and give your little
embezzling cowboy a ride around the bungalow.
167
00:15:31,897 --> 00:15:34,491
- No.
- Why not?
168
00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:38,798
'Cause I'm still living in this dump when I should
be living in a mansion in Beverly Hills.
169
00:15:38,904 --> 00:15:41,134
Laura, sweetheart.
170
00:15:41,240 --> 00:15:44,437
Bungalows 3A, 3B and 3C
are in Los Angeles.
171
00:15:44,543 --> 00:15:48,035
We live in 3G
which, technically, is in Beverly Hills.
172
00:15:48,147 --> 00:15:49,944
You're all talk, Tyler.
173
00:15:50,049 --> 00:15:52,108
You said we'd have
enough money this month...
174
00:15:52,217 --> 00:15:54,708
to buy me that little
baby sealskin coat.
175
00:15:54,820 --> 00:15:58,153
- We will.
- Promises, promises.
176
00:15:58,257 --> 00:16:00,157
Sweetie, we will.
177
00:16:00,259 --> 00:16:03,695
J.D. Clampett, the billionaire,
just opened up an account at the bank.
178
00:16:03,796 --> 00:16:05,889
Who is this Clampett guy?
179
00:16:05,998 --> 00:16:08,466
If he's so rich, how come
I've never heard of him?
180
00:16:08,567 --> 00:16:12,298
Baby cakes, this guy's got more money
than he knows what to do with.
181
00:16:12,404 --> 00:16:15,498
Now, that's a problem
I think we can help him with.
182
00:16:20,079 --> 00:16:22,912
Stop the car, Jethro!
183
00:16:23,015 --> 00:16:24,915
They's a fresh kill in the road.
184
00:16:25,017 --> 00:16:27,178
- Can't just leave it there.
- You're right, Granny.
185
00:16:27,286 --> 00:16:29,811
Roadkill stew sounds
mighty good right now.
186
00:16:32,992 --> 00:16:35,984
Oh, no, you don't, you old coot! I seen it first!
187
00:16:36,095 --> 00:16:38,586
- Milburn, call Westec Security.
- Well, I...
188
00:16:38,697 --> 00:16:40,688
I'm sure there's enough for us all.
189
00:16:40,799 --> 00:16:43,529
Eww! How revolting.
190
00:16:43,635 --> 00:16:46,695
Easy now, Granny.
They're probablyjust bein'neighborly...
191
00:16:46,805 --> 00:16:49,740
like them nice folks we met
on that extry-wide road.
192
00:16:49,842 --> 00:16:52,106
Well, let's give 'em
a Californy howdy.
193
00:16:53,545 --> 00:16:56,105
- Howdy, y'all.!
- Howdy.!
194
00:16:56,215 --> 00:16:59,184
Milburn!
195
00:16:59,284 --> 00:17:01,252
Did you fip me off?
196
00:17:38,090 --> 00:17:40,149
You reckon we're at
the wrong spot, UncleJed?
197
00:17:40,259 --> 00:17:43,160
Could be. Don't know.
198
00:17:43,262 --> 00:17:45,890
It's the right address, Pa.
199
00:18:20,499 --> 00:18:22,990
Whee doggies!
200
00:18:28,707 --> 00:18:31,267
The whole place looks brand-new.
201
00:18:32,744 --> 00:18:35,872
Hey, UncleJed, there's
a whole 'nother house up here.
202
00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:43,554
This is a big ol'house.
203
00:18:43,655 --> 00:18:46,180
Why do you reckon
they got two sets of steps?
204
00:18:46,291 --> 00:18:48,384
That's easy.
205
00:18:48,494 --> 00:18:50,894
One's for goin' up.
The other's for goin' down.
206
00:18:50,996 --> 00:18:53,055
Oh.
207
00:18:54,900 --> 00:18:58,666
What a pretty critter.
208
00:18:58,770 --> 00:19:01,170
Hello, police?
This is Miss Jane Hathaway.
209
00:19:01,273 --> 00:19:03,241
I wish to report
the unlawful entry...
210
00:19:03,342 --> 00:19:05,970
of a gang of armed and dangerous
hooligans at the Clampett estate.
211
00:19:06,078 --> 00:19:08,842
518 Crestview Drive.
212
00:19:08,947 --> 00:19:13,680
- I need you here code three,
and I will be timing you.
213
00:19:13,785 --> 00:19:16,652
I think you got you
a new friend, Duke.
214
00:19:19,124 --> 00:19:21,550
Cease and desist.!
Everyone.!
215
00:19:21,660 --> 00:19:24,424
If I were you, sir,
I would yield, submit and capitulate.
216
00:19:24,530 --> 00:19:28,728
What are you desperadoes
doing here?
217
00:19:28,834 --> 00:19:32,565
- Well, it's a mighty long story.
- But he don't mind tellin' it.
218
00:19:32,671 --> 00:19:36,334
- Pa was a-huntin' one day with old Duke.
- Duke spotted this jackrabbit.
219
00:19:36,441 --> 00:19:40,036
- So I throws up my gun, and I takes my aim...
- Don't shoot!
220
00:19:40,145 --> 00:19:42,511
Pardon, ma'am?
221
00:19:45,150 --> 00:19:49,484
Two minutes and 46 seconds.
222
00:19:52,057 --> 00:19:55,083
Go.! Go.! Go.!
223
00:19:56,528 --> 00:19:58,962
I need three men
over there on the south side.!
224
00:20:02,034 --> 00:20:05,094
Attention, inside.!
You're surrounded.!
225
00:20:05,204 --> 00:20:07,968
Drop your weapons
and file out one at a time.!
226
00:20:08,073 --> 00:20:11,634
- Don't shoot! Oh! They've taken me hostage!
- Attention, inside.!
227
00:20:11,743 --> 00:20:15,144
Drop your weapons
and file out one at a time!
228
00:20:15,247 --> 00:20:17,374
This is the Beverly Hills
Police Department.
229
00:20:17,482 --> 00:20:19,382
Told you this warn't no house.
230
00:20:19,484 --> 00:20:23,045
- You heard him. It's the police department.
- This is your last warning.!
231
00:20:23,155 --> 00:20:26,056
All right!
Fire one in!
232
00:20:27,359 --> 00:20:29,793
Look.
233
00:20:29,895 --> 00:20:31,556
They's a-playin' kick the can.
234
00:20:46,044 --> 00:20:48,012
Move in!
235
00:20:51,683 --> 00:20:54,584
I knew we shouldn't have never left home.
I knew it! I knew it! I knew it!
236
00:20:54,686 --> 00:20:57,655
Right this way.
We've I.D. 'd them all.
237
00:20:57,756 --> 00:21:01,157
- Excellent.
- We want the wheels of justice to spin quickly.
238
00:21:01,260 --> 00:21:03,820
These criminals must be
prosecuted and incarcerated...
239
00:21:03,929 --> 00:21:05,829
before our client finds out
what happened.
240
00:21:05,931 --> 00:21:07,922
Exactly.
241
00:21:08,033 --> 00:21:11,332
The reputation of Milburn Drysdale is at stake.
242
00:21:11,436 --> 00:21:14,064
Would everyone turn
to the right, please.
243
00:21:15,774 --> 00:21:18,868
Huh.! Hmm.! Pathetic.
244
00:21:18,977 --> 00:21:22,105
Now we have, starting on the left,
a Jedediah Clampett.
245
00:21:22,214 --> 00:21:24,205
- Then, next to him, his daughter, Elly May.
- Huh?
246
00:21:24,316 --> 00:21:28,343
And a Daisy Mae Moses, a. k. a. "Granny. "
247
00:21:28,453 --> 00:21:31,115
And a nephew, jethro Bodine.
248
00:21:33,458 --> 00:21:36,689
And some woman involved in a drive-by slapping.
249
00:21:40,932 --> 00:21:43,400
Oh, chief. Chief. Are you okay?
250
00:21:43,502 --> 00:21:45,732
Chief. Quickly! Say something!
251
00:21:45,837 --> 00:21:48,533
Say something!
252
00:21:48,640 --> 00:21:53,373
You're fired!
253
00:21:53,478 --> 00:21:57,209
Mr. Clampett, sir!
I am deeply sorry...
254
00:21:57,316 --> 00:22:00,251
for any embarrassment
my former assistant might have caused you.
255
00:22:00,352 --> 00:22:03,321
- L-I...
- Yes, sir. L-I...
256
00:22:03,422 --> 00:22:06,084
I- I humbly apologize
for my egregious error.
257
00:22:06,191 --> 00:22:08,250
And rest assured
that it will never happen again...
258
00:22:08,360 --> 00:22:10,328
as I am no longer
in the employ of the bank.
259
00:22:10,429 --> 00:22:13,762
Chief, Mr. Drysdale,
I will clean out my desk at once.
260
00:22:15,867 --> 00:22:19,030
Oh, dear.! Oh, please,
don't trouble yourselves.
261
00:22:19,137 --> 00:22:21,196
Please, gentlemen. Oh. Oh, thank you.
Don't trouble yourselves.
262
00:22:21,306 --> 00:22:24,332
Oh, I'm... Thank you. Thank you so much.
Oh, thank... No.
263
00:22:26,278 --> 00:22:28,974
So, then everything is fine?
264
00:22:29,081 --> 00:22:32,847
Mr. Clampett, please don't
take your money from my bank.
265
00:22:32,951 --> 00:22:37,251
I'll do anything you want.
I'll contribute to charities, anything.
266
00:22:37,356 --> 00:22:39,790
I'll eat mud.
267
00:22:39,891 --> 00:22:41,859
That won't be necessary.
268
00:22:41,960 --> 00:22:45,726
All I want is for this here lady
to watch over my affairs.
269
00:22:45,831 --> 00:22:49,631
Me? You want me?
270
00:22:49,735 --> 00:22:51,896
Well, I reckon
you done what you done...
271
00:22:52,003 --> 00:22:54,563
'cause you didn't know
we was who we was.
272
00:22:54,673 --> 00:22:56,607
And if we hadn't have been
who we was...
273
00:22:56,708 --> 00:22:59,768
we'd have still been much obliged
for you a-doin' what you done.
274
00:23:01,012 --> 00:23:04,812
Mr. Clampett, I will work
very hard for you.
275
00:23:04,916 --> 00:23:06,781
I trust you will.
276
00:23:06,885 --> 00:23:09,445
Is that all right with you,
Mr. Drysdale?
277
00:23:09,554 --> 00:23:11,681
That's exactly what I'd do
in your situation.
278
00:23:11,790 --> 00:23:13,758
- So we got ourselves a deal.
- Ah!
279
00:23:15,994 --> 00:23:17,894
Absolutely!
280
00:23:17,996 --> 00:23:20,055
Yeah.
281
00:23:23,235 --> 00:23:25,135
Just to show you
there's no hard feelin's...
282
00:23:25,237 --> 00:23:27,762
we'd like to invite you and your family
to Sunday supper.
283
00:23:27,873 --> 00:23:31,502
- Thank you. We'll be there.
- It'll give me the opportunity to swap recipes with your wife.
284
00:23:31,610 --> 00:23:33,510
Oh, she'd love that.
285
00:23:37,682 --> 00:23:39,650
Here you go.
286
00:23:42,854 --> 00:23:46,847
- What-What are you doing?
- We're just payin' our respects.
287
00:23:46,958 --> 00:23:49,119
- You...
- Oh.
288
00:23:49,227 --> 00:23:51,718
Oh. Oh, no.
This is a limousine.
289
00:23:51,830 --> 00:23:54,162
You'll be going home in this.
290
00:23:54,266 --> 00:23:56,962
You take this, and I'll follow you
in my Rolls-Royce.
291
00:23:58,270 --> 00:24:01,637
- There you go.
- Is that your car?
292
00:24:01,740 --> 00:24:04,903
- Yes, it is.
- Ain't that fancy!
293
00:24:05,010 --> 00:24:07,740
Can I drive it?
294
00:24:07,846 --> 00:24:11,282
You drive my $180,000
Rolls-Royce?
295
00:24:14,152 --> 00:24:17,212
Uh, well, of course you can, son.
I think that's a great idea.
296
00:24:17,322 --> 00:24:19,222
Hot dog!
297
00:24:48,887 --> 00:24:50,821
Howdy!
298
00:24:51,857 --> 00:24:55,384
Oh, isn't this exciting?
299
00:24:55,494 --> 00:24:57,894
Elly May Clampett,
sit down!
300
00:25:02,501 --> 00:25:05,095
Oh, excuse me.
301
00:25:05,203 --> 00:25:07,569
Hello.
302
00:25:07,672 --> 00:25:09,867
Let Mr... Let Mr. Clampett know...
303
00:25:09,975 --> 00:25:12,842
that the full weight of the bank
is ready to help them.
304
00:25:12,944 --> 00:25:16,277
- Yes, chief.
- She thinks she's talkin' to somebody.
305
00:25:16,381 --> 00:25:19,942
Ain't even a cord there.
306
00:25:20,051 --> 00:25:22,747
Like real estate, bonds, securities.
307
00:25:22,854 --> 00:25:25,721
Whatever it is he wants,
it's his.
308
00:25:25,824 --> 00:25:30,090
Mr. Drysdale wants you to know that the bank
is ready to help in any way that it can.
309
00:25:30,195 --> 00:25:33,028
There's one reason and one reason only
I moved out here.
310
00:25:34,032 --> 00:25:35,966
I'm lookin' to get hitched.
311
00:25:37,102 --> 00:25:38,967
Chief, he says
he wants to get hitched.
312
00:25:39,070 --> 00:25:42,039
- "Hitched"?
- Married.
313
00:25:42,140 --> 00:25:45,200
- Married?
- Chief, that's what I said.
314
00:25:45,310 --> 00:25:49,269
Miss Hathaway, if...
if Clampett wants a wife...
315
00:25:49,381 --> 00:25:51,815
tell him that you will
personally find him one.
316
00:25:51,917 --> 00:25:56,047
Oh, chief, capable as I may be,
matrimonial brokering is...
317
00:25:56,154 --> 00:25:58,054
Is now one of your specialties.
318
00:25:58,156 --> 00:26:01,250
Congratulations, Miss Hathaway,
and good luck.
319
00:26:02,761 --> 00:26:05,696
Yes, sir.
Oh, dear.
320
00:26:05,797 --> 00:26:09,289
No problem.
Uh, Mr. Clampett.
321
00:26:09,401 --> 00:26:14,065
Just exactly what
are you looking for in a fianc�e?
322
00:26:14,172 --> 00:26:16,572
A "fianc�e"?
323
00:26:16,675 --> 00:26:19,667
"Fianc�e"is French
for the person you intend to marry.
324
00:26:19,778 --> 00:26:22,303
Well, I'm lookin'
for a refined lady...
325
00:26:22,414 --> 00:26:25,008
to help me
raise my daughter, Elly May.
326
00:26:25,116 --> 00:26:27,584
Aw, Pa,
I'm already raised up.
327
00:26:30,188 --> 00:26:32,088
And refined.
328
00:26:32,190 --> 00:26:35,125
- Ah.
- Elly May, don't spit from a movin' vehicle.
329
00:26:36,461 --> 00:26:38,622
Wait till it stops.
330
00:26:44,069 --> 00:26:46,537
Jethro, save some for our guests.
331
00:26:50,875 --> 00:26:53,036
Here you go, Unclejed.
332
00:26:59,618 --> 00:27:01,950
I think old Duke
is sweet on your critter.
333
00:27:02,053 --> 00:27:05,955
She's not a critter.
She's a champion French "Barbonet. "
334
00:27:06,057 --> 00:27:10,619
And her purebred puppies
are gonna be worth $3,000 each.
335
00:27:10,729 --> 00:27:13,459
Uh, son, what, uh...
What do you do?
336
00:27:13,565 --> 00:27:15,692
Don't know.
What do you do?
337
00:27:16,768 --> 00:27:18,668
Oh, I'm just
president of a bank.
338
00:27:18,770 --> 00:27:22,137
Wow. UncleJed, can I
be a president too?
339
00:27:22,240 --> 00:27:26,700
Now, Jethro, that's a mighty disrespectful
thing to say to Mr. Drysdale.
340
00:27:26,811 --> 00:27:30,508
- No.
- Ask him if you can be vice president.
341
00:27:30,615 --> 00:27:34,813
Vice president.
342
00:27:34,919 --> 00:27:37,319
Uh-huh.
343
00:27:51,403 --> 00:27:54,998
Vice president.
Mm-hmm. I think so.
344
00:27:55,106 --> 00:27:57,233
We can... We can always use another good man.
345
00:27:57,342 --> 00:28:02,211
Hoo-whee. I'm gonna get me
a fancy offiice and a pretty secretary.
346
00:28:02,313 --> 00:28:06,409
There's them bells again.
347
00:28:06,518 --> 00:28:10,579
Jethro, I bet you there's somebody
standin'at that front door right now.
348
00:28:14,993 --> 00:28:17,928
If I was you,
I'd eat real quick whilst he's gone.
349
00:28:18,029 --> 00:28:22,125
Oh, that's good.
Margaret, why don't you help yourself, dear.
350
00:28:22,233 --> 00:28:24,963
- Oh, good Lord.
- What is it?
351
00:28:29,007 --> 00:28:31,635
- Howdy, mister.
- Hi. I'm Woodrow Tyler.
352
00:28:31,743 --> 00:28:34,769
- I'm here to seeJed Clampett.
- Well, come on in.
353
00:28:36,214 --> 00:28:38,182
No, no. No.
354
00:28:42,420 --> 00:28:46,720
- Tyler. Well, what brings you here?
- Sir, hello.
355
00:28:46,825 --> 00:28:51,558
We took up a collection to buy these
beautiful flowers for our newest clients.
356
00:28:51,663 --> 00:28:54,063
Welcome to Beverly Hills.
357
00:28:54,165 --> 00:28:56,258
Well, thank you, sonny.
358
00:28:56,367 --> 00:29:02,237
Tyler, can the ham. Just introduce yourself
and get out of here, okay?
359
00:29:02,340 --> 00:29:05,434
- Very pleased to meet you.
- Howdy!
360
00:29:08,246 --> 00:29:12,080
Elly May Clampett!
361
00:29:12,183 --> 00:29:15,152
- He was fixin' to bite my hand.
- Well, stand him up.
362
00:29:18,723 --> 00:29:22,124
- Tyler, apologize.
- My fault completely, Mr. Clampett.
363
00:29:22,227 --> 00:29:23,922
I moved too quickly.
364
00:29:24,028 --> 00:29:27,520
You have a beautiful daughter...
and very strong.
365
00:29:27,632 --> 00:29:30,465
- Mrs. Drysdale.
- Hmm?
366
00:29:30,568 --> 00:29:33,594
What could help Elly May
be as refined as you?
367
00:29:33,705 --> 00:29:36,606
Well, I went to
finishing school in France.
368
00:29:36,708 --> 00:29:41,008
No one understands refinement and
sophistication better than the French.
369
00:29:41,112 --> 00:29:45,310
Hmm. Do you think we ought to
move ourselves to France?
370
00:29:45,416 --> 00:29:48,112
- Yes, I do.
- No, you don't. No, she doesn't.
371
00:29:48,219 --> 00:29:51,711
Actually, you can find a good French tutor
that'll come right to your home.
372
00:29:53,224 --> 00:29:56,455
I don't wanna change.
I just wanna be who I am.
373
00:29:56,561 --> 00:29:59,621
- And I ain't goin'to no France.!
- Oh, my.
374
00:30:00,732 --> 00:30:03,292
Excuse me.
375
00:30:03,401 --> 00:30:05,995
- Mrs. Drysdale.
- Hmm?
376
00:30:06,104 --> 00:30:08,038
If you ain't gonna eat them vittles,
can I have 'em?
377
00:30:09,207 --> 00:30:12,540
Of course you can, son.
Bon app�tit.
378
00:30:12,644 --> 00:30:14,612
Thank you.
379
00:30:23,087 --> 00:30:26,079
Elly May, come on down here.
380
00:30:31,095 --> 00:30:34,587
- How'd you know where I was, Pa?
- 'Cause ever since you could walk...
381
00:30:34,699 --> 00:30:37,759
you've been climbin' trees
and cuddlin' with your critters.
382
00:30:48,580 --> 00:30:52,710
It's high time you started thinkin'
about changin' some things.
383
00:30:52,817 --> 00:30:55,809
You need to start wearin' dresses
and fixin' up nice.
384
00:30:55,920 --> 00:30:59,151
But, Pa,
folks would call me a sissy.
385
00:30:59,257 --> 00:31:01,817
It ain't sissy for girls
to act like girls.
386
00:31:03,595 --> 00:31:07,156
Ever since your ma died,
I done what I knew best...
387
00:31:07,265 --> 00:31:09,699
and raised you up like a boy...
388
00:31:09,801 --> 00:31:12,292
roughhousin', fishin', fightin'.
389
00:31:12,403 --> 00:31:14,997
Yeah. That stuff's fun.
390
00:31:15,106 --> 00:31:19,634
Elly, nature made you a girl,
and here lately...
391
00:31:19,744 --> 00:31:21,769
she's been gettin' more
and more positive about it.
392
00:31:21,880 --> 00:31:23,780
Aw, Pa.
393
00:31:26,651 --> 00:31:29,313
Every time
I look into your eyes...
394
00:31:29,420 --> 00:31:31,320
I can see your ma there.
395
00:31:36,160 --> 00:31:38,628
Was my ma refined?
396
00:31:38,730 --> 00:31:40,721
Oh, yes.
397
00:31:40,832 --> 00:31:43,266
She was a real genteel lady.
398
00:31:45,870 --> 00:31:50,000
I miss her so much...
even now.
399
00:31:50,108 --> 00:31:52,941
I wanna be
just like my ma was.
400
00:31:55,246 --> 00:31:58,477
I reckon I do need somebody
to teach me the ways.
401
00:31:58,583 --> 00:32:01,143
Yeah, reckon you do.
402
00:32:04,188 --> 00:32:07,919
And now I got the means
to make that happen.
403
00:32:20,305 --> 00:32:24,469
Tyler, don't you have anything
better to do today?
404
00:32:24,575 --> 00:32:28,170
I just thought you'd wanna know more
about the richest dumb guy in America.
405
00:32:28,279 --> 00:32:32,443
- He's a hayseed, a hillbilly.
- Mm!
406
00:32:32,550 --> 00:32:34,609
So this Clampett guy
should be easy, huh?
407
00:32:34,719 --> 00:32:38,177
Yes, but we better do it fast
before he gets married.
408
00:32:38,289 --> 00:32:41,315
Married? Tyler,
Clampett's getting married?
409
00:32:41,426 --> 00:32:44,862
No, but he wants to.
410
00:32:48,666 --> 00:32:51,863
- He's a horny old goat lookin' for some action?
- Nah.
411
00:32:51,970 --> 00:32:53,801
He's just looking for a refined lady...
412
00:32:53,905 --> 00:32:56,533
- to help raise his hellcat daughter, Elly May.
- Hmm.
413
00:32:56,641 --> 00:33:00,805
But he did seem interested when somebody
brought up the idea of a French tutor.
414
00:33:00,912 --> 00:33:04,245
Hmm. A French tutor.
415
00:33:20,932 --> 00:33:24,732
Bonjour.
My name is Laurette Voleur...
416
00:33:24,836 --> 00:33:28,237
and I am a...
French governess.
417
00:33:28,339 --> 00:33:30,569
Well, come on in, ma'am.
418
00:33:33,511 --> 00:33:35,843
Bonjour.
I am going door-to-door...
419
00:33:35,947 --> 00:33:38,711
to see if anyone
needs my services.
420
00:33:38,816 --> 00:33:40,613
- My business card.
- "Mademoiselle. "
421
00:33:40,718 --> 00:33:44,279
"Mademoiselle... "
422
00:33:44,389 --> 00:33:48,189
- Sorry, ma'am. I don't think so.
- Are you sure?
423
00:33:50,495 --> 00:33:55,956
- Yep.
- There is not a young woman in the house...
424
00:33:56,067 --> 00:33:59,594
who is perhaps a bit, uh, unruly?
425
00:34:01,139 --> 00:34:04,302
Not that I can think of,
but, then again, we just moved here.
426
00:34:04,409 --> 00:34:08,470
Nobody in need of refinement
and sophistication?
427
00:34:11,549 --> 00:34:15,542
No. Maybe you oughta
try the neighbors.
428
00:34:15,653 --> 00:34:20,420
Oh, well, I am so sorry
to bother you.
429
00:34:20,525 --> 00:34:23,426
I will be going now.
430
00:34:24,862 --> 00:34:26,887
Well, what's the problem, ma'am?
431
00:34:26,998 --> 00:34:31,935
I was just hoping that my services
would be needed, but...
432
00:34:32,036 --> 00:34:35,301
- Well, what do you do?
- I teach, um... how do you say this...
433
00:34:35,406 --> 00:34:40,776
oh, rambunctious teenage girls
how to be more ladylike and proper.
434
00:34:43,347 --> 00:34:47,613
Well, dog my cats. You know,
Mrs. Drysdale was just telling us...
435
00:34:47,718 --> 00:34:50,653
about how the French was the best
at finishing a gal out.
436
00:34:50,755 --> 00:34:53,918
Oui, they are. They are
the very, very best...
437
00:34:54,025 --> 00:34:57,859
at making a woman a woman.
438
00:34:57,962 --> 00:35:00,829
Hey. I just thought of somethin'.
439
00:35:00,932 --> 00:35:02,832
Maybe she could help
with Elly May.
440
00:35:02,934 --> 00:35:05,494
Oh.
441
00:35:12,910 --> 00:35:15,606
Here, Rascal.
442
00:35:15,713 --> 00:35:17,874
Yeah.
443
00:35:17,982 --> 00:35:21,383
You like swimmin'
in this cement pond, don't you?
444
00:35:21,486 --> 00:35:23,750
You like it too, Frankie?
445
00:35:23,855 --> 00:35:25,823
Takin'that duck for a swim?
446
00:35:28,059 --> 00:35:33,224
And over here by the cement pond
is my daughter Elly.
447
00:35:33,331 --> 00:35:35,322
Elly, say hello to Miss Laurette.
448
00:35:35,433 --> 00:35:37,958
- Howdy, Miss Laurette.
- Bonjour, Elly May.
449
00:35:38,069 --> 00:35:39,969
It is such a pleasure
to meet you.
450
00:35:40,071 --> 00:35:41,971
I was thinkin',
every day after school...
451
00:35:42,073 --> 00:35:45,042
maybe Miss Laurette
could help teach you to be a lady.
452
00:35:45,143 --> 00:35:47,043
- How about that?
- Okay.
453
00:35:47,145 --> 00:35:50,080
Spanky likes you.
454
00:35:51,682 --> 00:35:53,809
Not as much as I like him.
455
00:35:55,453 --> 00:35:58,422
Go on, now,
and stay out of trouble.
456
00:35:59,657 --> 00:36:02,888
I finally figured
this game out, Spanky.
457
00:36:02,994 --> 00:36:05,895
You take this ball...
458
00:36:05,997 --> 00:36:09,057
you put it down
this here gully.
459
00:36:09,167 --> 00:36:11,761
It rolls down yonder.
460
00:36:11,869 --> 00:36:15,361
Then you hurl yourself
down this slippery gully...
461
00:36:15,473 --> 00:36:19,341
and see how many of them there
snake-bashin' clubs...
462
00:36:19,443 --> 00:36:22,901
you can knock down...
before the ball gets there.
463
00:36:24,348 --> 00:36:27,840
What a stupid idiot.
464
00:36:27,952 --> 00:36:30,250
Did you say somethin', ma'am?
465
00:36:30,354 --> 00:36:34,017
What a stupendous intellect.
466
00:36:34,125 --> 00:36:36,320
That's 'cause I graduated
the sixth grade, ma'am.
467
00:36:36,427 --> 00:36:38,696
Only took three years.
468
00:37:05,623 --> 00:37:08,922
Now, Elly May,
sit straight, chin up...
469
00:37:09,026 --> 00:37:13,486
and try to practice looking interested
when people are boring you.
470
00:37:22,673 --> 00:37:25,574
Ah, greetings, Mr. Clampett.
471
00:37:25,676 --> 00:37:27,644
- Well, howdy, Miss Jane.
- Hello, Elly May.
472
00:37:27,745 --> 00:37:30,111
Miss Jane, this here
is Miss Laurette Voleur.
473
00:37:30,214 --> 00:37:33,911
Bonjour, Mademoiselle Laurette.
Comment allez-vous?
474
00:37:35,019 --> 00:37:36,919
Tut-tut-tut-tut-tut.
475
00:37:37,021 --> 00:37:40,957
- I must only speak the English in front of Elly May.
- Of course.
476
00:37:41,058 --> 00:37:44,994
Uh, Mr. Clampett, drawing
from Commerce Bank clientele...
477
00:37:45,096 --> 00:37:48,532
I have selected some preliminary
bridal prospects for you.
478
00:37:48,633 --> 00:37:51,966
Oh.! Oh, dear.! Oh, my goodness.!
479
00:37:52,069 --> 00:37:55,368
Mon Dieu.!
How clumsy of me. I'm so sorry.
480
00:37:55,473 --> 00:37:57,703
Oh. Oh, it's no... no problem.
481
00:37:57,808 --> 00:38:01,471
No problem whatsoever.
At the bank, I have these in triplicate.
482
00:38:01,579 --> 00:38:06,039
- I shall return.
- I'll walk you out, Miss Hathaway.
483
00:38:06,150 --> 00:38:08,050
Why, thank you, Jethro.
484
00:38:08,152 --> 00:38:10,279
So, Mr. Clampett...
485
00:38:10,388 --> 00:38:12,788
perhaps we should discuss
my, uh, weekly salary?
486
00:38:19,830 --> 00:38:22,162
Shoo!
487
00:38:22,266 --> 00:38:26,225
Shoo!
488
00:38:32,843 --> 00:38:37,303
Shoo, cow. Excuse me, I'm just going to
reach over here and press this button.
489
00:38:37,415 --> 00:38:39,406
Hello. Can anyone hear me?
490
00:38:39,517 --> 00:38:41,985
Can anyone hear me?
491
00:38:42,086 --> 00:38:44,748
- Yeah.
- Can somebody help me?
492
00:38:44,855 --> 00:38:48,052
- Hello?
- Miss Hathaway?
493
00:38:48,159 --> 00:38:51,060
How's it feel to live in Beverly Hills?
494
00:38:51,162 --> 00:38:54,563
- Hello?
- I can hear you. Where are you?
495
00:38:54,665 --> 00:38:57,725
Please, can somebody
let me out of here?
496
00:38:57,835 --> 00:39:00,702
I am trapped inside the wall.
497
00:39:00,805 --> 00:39:03,569
Hello? Hello?
498
00:39:03,674 --> 00:39:06,268
- Hello? Hello?
- Just stay put, Miss Hathaway. I'll get ya out.
499
00:39:06,377 --> 00:39:07,742
Hello?
500
00:39:08,946 --> 00:39:10,846
Watch your head.
501
00:39:19,690 --> 00:39:21,385
Miss Hathaway?
502
00:39:22,927 --> 00:39:24,622
Yoo-hoo!
503
00:39:28,499 --> 00:39:31,696
I'm in. This is gonna be
easier than I thought.
504
00:39:31,802 --> 00:39:33,736
So, they bought the French thing?
505
00:39:33,838 --> 00:39:37,035
Mais oui.
They're bumpkins.
506
00:39:37,141 --> 00:39:39,109
It's a crime
they have so much money.
507
00:39:39,210 --> 00:39:42,043
It's worse than a foreigner
winning the lottery.
508
00:39:42,146 --> 00:39:44,478
I know exactly
what I'm gonna do.
509
00:39:44,582 --> 00:39:47,574
First, I'll lure in Clampett.
That'll be easy.
510
00:39:47,685 --> 00:39:52,281
Next, I'll take Elly May
and slap on a little window dressing.
511
00:39:52,390 --> 00:39:55,791
Make him think I turned her into a real lady.
512
00:39:55,893 --> 00:39:58,384
Then, when the time
is just right...
513
00:39:58,496 --> 00:40:00,930
I'll play one off the other
and... wham!
514
00:40:01,031 --> 00:40:05,066
- They won't know what hit 'em.
- You're not gonna sleep with him, are you?
515
00:40:05,169 --> 00:40:07,637
- That's not your problem.
- Okay, Laura?
516
00:40:07,738 --> 00:40:10,468
I got my hand on your butt.
517
00:40:10,574 --> 00:40:12,565
Okay. Hold on.
518
00:40:12,676 --> 00:40:14,837
I got someone on call waiting.
519
00:40:14,945 --> 00:40:18,039
Hello? Hello?
520
00:40:19,750 --> 00:40:22,981
It was nobody. Okay, now.
521
00:40:23,087 --> 00:40:26,181
I got my hand on your butt,
and I'm squeezing.
522
00:40:26,290 --> 00:40:29,088
Tyler!
Get your hand off my butt.
523
00:40:29,193 --> 00:40:31,991
- Mr. Drysdale!
- Get a pencil and write this down.
524
00:40:32,096 --> 00:40:34,030
Yes, Mr. Drysdale.
525
00:40:34,131 --> 00:40:37,259
Right. Uh-huh.
I can do that.
526
00:41:00,791 --> 00:41:04,454
Howdy, I'm Elly May.
You must be Mr. Drysdale's son.
527
00:41:08,599 --> 00:41:11,397
Well, thanks for picking me up.
Is this here your car?
528
00:41:16,273 --> 00:41:20,573
Are we goin' to school,
or are we just goin' to stand here all day?
529
00:41:26,250 --> 00:41:29,913
- Hey, y'all. Howdy.
- She's with me.
530
00:41:30,020 --> 00:41:32,147
Heck, Morgan, I'm tryin' to be friendly-like...
531
00:41:32,256 --> 00:41:34,884
but these folks don't seem
to want to say howdy back.
532
00:41:34,992 --> 00:41:37,187
- They sure are shy.
- So what?
533
00:41:37,294 --> 00:41:39,489
Elly May, who cares?
They're losers.
534
00:41:39,597 --> 00:41:41,690
Not one of them is worth
over 300 million.
535
00:41:41,799 --> 00:41:43,892
- Uh-oh.
- Well, if it isn't Morgan...
536
00:41:44,001 --> 00:41:46,435
spelled big "M,"
little "organ. "
537
00:41:46,537 --> 00:41:50,530
- We've gotta go.
- Not so fast, bank boy. Cough up your lunch money now.
538
00:41:50,641 --> 00:41:53,735
All I have is $400
in traveler's checks.
539
00:41:53,844 --> 00:41:56,836
So just sign them
and hand them over.
540
00:41:56,947 --> 00:41:59,347
Jake, show these two what happened
to the last guy who didn't pay up.
541
00:42:05,055 --> 00:42:07,080
Well, I can wire the money
to your account.
542
00:42:07,191 --> 00:42:09,182
Before the close
of the business day.
543
00:42:11,795 --> 00:42:14,525
I don't see why you
had to give anything to that gorilla.
544
00:42:14,632 --> 00:42:17,226
Well, that gorilla
is the captain of the wrestling team.
545
00:42:17,334 --> 00:42:20,394
Wow. I never wrestled a team before.
546
00:42:20,504 --> 00:42:25,237
- Well, 'lessen you count the McCarter triplets.
- Cappuccino?
547
00:42:25,342 --> 00:42:27,367
- What?
- Two.
548
00:42:34,184 --> 00:42:36,914
Thank you, Tiffany.
549
00:42:37,021 --> 00:42:39,251
This here electronic whittler
works real fine.
550
00:42:42,192 --> 00:42:44,626
Why, hello, Jethro.
551
00:42:44,728 --> 00:42:47,424
Well, howdy, Miss Hathaway.
552
00:42:48,966 --> 00:42:51,901
My, don't you look strapping
in your new business suit.
553
00:42:52,002 --> 00:42:56,996
- Armani?
- No. I'm pretty sure it's wool. Sure does itch like wool.
554
00:42:58,909 --> 00:43:01,810
- Miss Hathaway?
- Oh, no, no. We're colleagues.
555
00:43:01,912 --> 00:43:04,745
Call meJane.
MeJane, you Jethro.
556
00:43:07,418 --> 00:43:10,751
Okay. Okay, Miss Hathaway.
557
00:43:10,854 --> 00:43:14,449
Can I get one of these
electronic whittlers for UncleJed?
558
00:43:14,558 --> 00:43:17,925
- It's his birthday coming up real soon.
- Let me make a note of that.
559
00:43:18,028 --> 00:43:21,122
And speaking of your UncleJed,
back to the job at hand...
560
00:43:21,231 --> 00:43:23,961
- Finding him a suitable wife.
- Can I help?
561
00:43:24,068 --> 00:43:27,265
Heck, back in the hollow, my ma
was the best matchmaker around.
562
00:43:27,371 --> 00:43:29,771
- Is that so?
- Uh-huh.
563
00:43:29,873 --> 00:43:34,367
First thing she'd do is get
the back-fence gossips start a-jawin'.
564
00:43:34,478 --> 00:43:36,378
Why, we could drop some
items in the trades.
565
00:43:36,480 --> 00:43:39,381
- Excellent.
- Thank you.
566
00:43:39,483 --> 00:43:42,646
And then she'd...
What'd she do?
567
00:43:42,753 --> 00:43:46,450
She'd hang a sign
on the church bulletin board.
568
00:43:46,557 --> 00:43:49,890
Maybe we can get
a big bulletin board.
569
00:43:49,994 --> 00:43:52,326
No, no. We'd better be
a bit more discreet.
570
00:43:52,429 --> 00:43:55,330
Tell me, what are your
uncle's favorite things?
571
00:43:55,432 --> 00:43:57,332
Shoot, that's easy.
572
00:43:57,434 --> 00:44:00,801
- He likes smoked crawdads.
- Mm-hmm.
573
00:44:00,904 --> 00:44:02,872
Sowbelly and hand-slung chitterlings.
574
00:44:02,973 --> 00:44:05,339
And sponge cake.
575
00:44:05,442 --> 00:44:07,569
Besides food, Jethro.
576
00:44:07,678 --> 00:44:12,206
- Oh. He likes people who don't waste nothin'.
- Oh, go on.
577
00:44:12,316 --> 00:44:16,719
And his favorite song is
"I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry" by Hank Williams.
578
00:44:16,820 --> 00:44:20,017
- Yes!
- Yes, ma'am.
579
00:45:17,347 --> 00:45:19,247
Entrez.
580
00:45:24,488 --> 00:45:27,423
Excuse me, ma'am, uh...
581
00:45:27,524 --> 00:45:29,424
is that Hank Williams I hear?
582
00:45:29,526 --> 00:45:31,494
I'm sorry.
It must be too loud.
583
00:45:31,595 --> 00:45:33,722
- I will...
- No, no.
584
00:45:33,831 --> 00:45:36,925
I was just listening to it
while repairing this old dress...
585
00:45:37,034 --> 00:45:40,094
and, uh, waiting for
my sponge cake to bake.
586
00:45:40,204 --> 00:45:42,138
You're cookin' a sponge cake?
587
00:45:42,239 --> 00:45:45,470
Oui.
It is my sp�cialit�.
588
00:45:45,576 --> 00:45:48,602
I love this music.
589
00:45:49,747 --> 00:45:51,647
It makes me want to dance.
590
00:45:53,183 --> 00:45:54,980
It's so romantic.
591
00:46:37,327 --> 00:46:41,263
You are a fine dancer...
592
00:46:41,365 --> 00:46:44,163
and a very attractive man.
593
00:46:44,268 --> 00:46:47,465
Whomever Miss Hathaway
finds for you to marry...
594
00:46:47,571 --> 00:46:49,698
is going to be
a very happy woman.
595
00:46:49,807 --> 00:46:52,241
Well, thank you, ma'am.
596
00:46:52,342 --> 00:46:56,540
And all women know
"a-penis" is hard to find.
597
00:46:59,249 --> 00:47:02,446
- Excuse me?
- "A-penis. "
598
00:47:05,189 --> 00:47:07,885
Oh, happiness!
599
00:47:07,991 --> 00:47:09,652
Well, uh...
600
00:47:09,760 --> 00:47:11,990
I've disturbed
your work enough, ma'am.
601
00:47:24,541 --> 00:47:26,839
Jethro, have you considered
getting a new car?
602
00:47:26,944 --> 00:47:31,381
Nope, but I told UncleJed we should slap
a new coat of paint on this'n.
603
00:47:31,481 --> 00:47:33,745
But he said just
'cause we had money...
604
00:47:33,851 --> 00:47:35,978
we didn't need to go
showin' it off.
605
00:47:36,086 --> 00:47:38,054
I was just thinking,
oh, you should, you should.
606
00:47:38,155 --> 00:47:41,215
You would look so good
in a big new fashy car.
607
00:47:41,325 --> 00:47:44,761
Big fashy car, huh? Maybe.
608
00:47:46,396 --> 00:47:49,229
Yep.
609
00:47:49,333 --> 00:47:53,531
Okay, Miss Jane,
I'm 'bout ready to pull over.
610
00:47:53,637 --> 00:47:56,333
You are so impossibly romantic.
611
00:47:56,440 --> 00:47:58,704
Close your eyes.
612
00:47:58,809 --> 00:48:00,709
Hot diggity dog!
613
00:48:00,811 --> 00:48:03,678
Okay, now,
keep 'em closed.
614
00:48:03,780 --> 00:48:06,442
How charmingly old-fashioned.
615
00:48:06,550 --> 00:48:08,916
Mm.
616
00:48:09,019 --> 00:48:11,146
Open your eyes
and look up.
617
00:48:12,656 --> 00:48:14,624
Ain't she pretty?
618
00:48:16,193 --> 00:48:18,218
Oh, my God!
619
00:48:18,328 --> 00:48:20,796
The chief is going to kill me.
620
00:48:31,942 --> 00:48:34,376
We'll be back
with the financial news after this message.
621
00:48:34,478 --> 00:48:36,912
Howdy.
I'm jethro Bodine.
622
00:48:37,014 --> 00:48:39,175
I'm talkin' to all
you ladies out there.
623
00:48:39,283 --> 00:48:41,410
Are you looking for
the perfect husband?
624
00:48:41,518 --> 00:48:43,418
Then considerjed Clampett.
625
00:48:43,520 --> 00:48:46,148
Yes, Jed is rated triple A's...
626
00:48:46,256 --> 00:48:50,420
for a-ttractive, a-vailable,
and a-billionaire.
627
00:48:50,527 --> 00:48:53,587
So come on down
to the Commerce Bank of Beverly Hills...
628
00:48:53,697 --> 00:48:55,756
and see me, jethro Bodine,
vice president.
629
00:48:55,866 --> 00:48:57,766
- Dear, what's the matter?
- And remember.
630
00:48:57,868 --> 00:49:01,668
I'm not onlyJed's wife finder.
I'm also his nephew.
631
00:49:04,708 --> 00:49:06,608
I'm ruined.
632
00:49:37,574 --> 00:49:39,041
Oh!
633
00:49:52,255 --> 00:49:54,951
Howdy.
634
00:49:56,126 --> 00:49:58,253
Thank you.
635
00:49:58,362 --> 00:50:02,059
Hathaway, you are embarrassing
this institution!
636
00:50:02,165 --> 00:50:04,099
This is a carnival.
637
00:50:04,201 --> 00:50:07,432
What kind of a numbskull would
think up a harebrained scheme like this?
638
00:50:07,537 --> 00:50:09,596
That'd be me, Mr. Drysdale.
639
00:50:09,706 --> 00:50:11,401
Y- Your idea.
Well...
640
00:50:11,508 --> 00:50:14,341
Well, it's brilliant.!
641
00:50:14,444 --> 00:50:16,844
Insightful. Cutting edge.
642
00:50:16,947 --> 00:50:19,040
You're a born leader, son.
643
00:50:19,149 --> 00:50:22,641
We've have had 1,215 women
respond to the ad.
644
00:50:22,753 --> 00:50:24,721
- And two men.
- Wh...
645
00:50:24,821 --> 00:50:28,882
Once I've entered the data into the computer,
worked my magic... presto.
646
00:50:28,992 --> 00:50:33,622
- We will narrow them down to a precious few.
- Send in the next five.
647
00:50:33,730 --> 00:50:37,359
Oh, uh, Hathaway, uh,
you're not validating parking, are you?
648
00:50:37,467 --> 00:50:39,367
Parking? Um...
649
00:50:39,469 --> 00:50:41,767
Oh, that was my idea too,
Mr. Drysdale.
650
00:50:41,872 --> 00:50:45,968
Well, it's a brilliant idea,
if I may say so.
651
00:50:46,076 --> 00:50:48,567
Let's see, uh...
652
00:50:48,678 --> 00:50:52,205
1,215 women... and two men.
653
00:50:52,315 --> 00:50:54,442
At a dollar and a half
every 15 minutes.
654
00:50:54,551 --> 00:50:57,418
Ah, well, that's only
gonna cost me 5...
655
00:50:57,521 --> 00:51:00,046
5-5-5-5... $5,000.
656
00:51:00,157 --> 00:51:03,217
Well...
657
00:51:09,366 --> 00:51:11,891
- Bonjour, Jethro.
- Well, howdy, Miss Laurette.
658
00:51:12,002 --> 00:51:13,902
What is all of this?
659
00:51:14,004 --> 00:51:17,405
Miss Jane said a big fancy car
would be more suitin' to my personality...
660
00:51:17,507 --> 00:51:20,533
so I'm fixin' on makin' one
out of my truck.
661
00:51:20,644 --> 00:51:24,239
Personally, if it would have been me,
I would have just bought a new one.
662
00:51:24,347 --> 00:51:26,747
But... carry on.
663
00:51:29,820 --> 00:51:31,845
What a moron.
664
00:51:34,357 --> 00:51:36,291
Hey, organ,
what are you doin' here?
665
00:51:36,393 --> 00:51:38,258
- You come here to wrestle me?
- No.
666
00:51:38,361 --> 00:51:40,261
Or did you just come here
to kiss the gym foor?
667
00:51:40,363 --> 00:51:42,991
Come on, Morgan, just kiss it.
Come on, kiss it.
668
00:51:43,100 --> 00:51:45,091
Why don't you pick on
somebody your own size?
669
00:51:45,202 --> 00:51:47,534
And what business
is it of yours, baby?
670
00:51:47,637 --> 00:51:51,198
What are you doing here, anyway,
corn pone?
671
00:51:51,308 --> 00:51:53,970
I came by to join
the wrestlin' team.
672
00:51:54,077 --> 00:51:55,977
I don't wrestle girls,
at least not in the gym...
673
00:51:56,079 --> 00:51:57,979
but in your case,
I'll make an exception.
674
00:51:58,081 --> 00:52:00,072
- Good. Then let's get started.
- Whoa!
675
00:52:02,619 --> 00:52:04,644
- I'm gonna kill you!
- I'm goin' to kill you.!
676
00:52:04,754 --> 00:52:06,688
No one is going to kill
anyone here!
677
00:52:06,790 --> 00:52:08,758
Not without a signed
permission slip from home.
678
00:52:08,859 --> 00:52:11,453
- Got it?
- Got it, Coach.
679
00:52:13,430 --> 00:52:15,830
So, Jethro...
680
00:52:15,932 --> 00:52:19,163
building on your visionary plan
for finding your uncle's wife...
681
00:52:19,269 --> 00:52:23,171
I've... I've created
this rather modest database program.
682
00:52:23,273 --> 00:52:26,333
I've cross-referenced the applicants...
683
00:52:26,443 --> 00:52:30,345
against the parameters
you indicated he desired...
684
00:52:30,447 --> 00:52:34,315
by specifying the search criteria
into functional groupings...
685
00:52:34,417 --> 00:52:37,909
and selecting the fiield values...
686
00:52:38,021 --> 00:52:40,182
through the use
of embedded commands...
687
00:52:40,290 --> 00:52:44,522
and, of course,
basic Boolean algebra.
688
00:52:47,597 --> 00:52:51,897
Miss Jane, I have no idea
what you just said.
689
00:52:54,905 --> 00:52:59,399
Oh, Jethro, you are
so delightfully... primitive.
690
00:53:02,646 --> 00:53:05,774
Uh, Miss Hathaway, would you
step into my office, please.
691
00:53:05,882 --> 00:53:08,942
- And bring the, uh, the Arlington file.
- Yes, sir.
692
00:53:09,052 --> 00:53:11,077
- I'm sorry.
- Mr. Drysdale...
693
00:53:11,188 --> 00:53:14,180
since I have trained three Kentucky Derby
winners for other people...
694
00:53:14,291 --> 00:53:18,250
it seems a logical extension that I'd want
to own and operate my own stud farm...
695
00:53:18,361 --> 00:53:20,056
Arlington Acres.
696
00:53:20,163 --> 00:53:23,155
Well, it's just...
It's just a very exciting idea.
697
00:53:23,266 --> 00:53:26,235
Then you agree that his net worth
and rural background...
698
00:53:26,336 --> 00:53:28,827
makeJed Clampett
the perfect partner for such a venture.
699
00:53:28,939 --> 00:53:32,375
Absolutely. You and Clampett,
partners in a stud farm.
700
00:53:32,475 --> 00:53:35,410
- I think it's a wonderful idea.
- So you'll call him and arrange for us to meet?
701
00:53:35,512 --> 00:53:37,742
You bet I will.
702
00:53:37,847 --> 00:53:40,714
- I'm sure he can't wait to see you.
- Oh.
703
00:53:40,817 --> 00:53:44,412
In fact, as soon as you leave, I'm going
to call Mr. Clampett on the phone.
704
00:53:44,521 --> 00:53:46,887
- Ah! This is very exciting.
- Isn't it?
705
00:53:46,990 --> 00:53:49,788
Yeah.
706
00:53:49,893 --> 00:53:52,487
But, chief,
you specifiically told me...
707
00:53:52,596 --> 00:53:55,827
that you did not want Mr. Clampett
involved in such a risky venture.
708
00:53:55,932 --> 00:53:57,866
Exactly.
Shred and burn that.
709
00:53:57,968 --> 00:54:00,459
And don't ever let that lady
back in this offiice.
710
00:54:00,570 --> 00:54:03,061
It went fantastically.
711
00:54:03,173 --> 00:54:07,041
Mr. Drysdale said I would
be a perfect partner for Mr. Clampett.
712
00:54:07,143 --> 00:54:09,907
Yes. I'll tell you more
when I get back. Bye.
713
00:54:12,882 --> 00:54:16,978
Excuse me, ma'am. If Mr. Drysdale thinks
you'd be perfect for my UncleJed...
714
00:54:17,087 --> 00:54:20,488
I can take you over
to meet him right now.
715
00:54:20,590 --> 00:54:23,991
- Wonderful!
- Come on.
716
00:54:24,094 --> 00:54:26,688
I think you're gonna
like Miss Arlington.
717
00:54:26,796 --> 00:54:29,526
Miss Jane picked her out
with her computer-datin' base.
718
00:54:29,633 --> 00:54:32,602
Then Mr. Drysdale
personally approved her.
719
00:54:32,702 --> 00:54:35,330
Computer-datin' base, huh?
720
00:54:35,438 --> 00:54:38,305
What'll they think of next?
721
00:54:38,408 --> 00:54:42,174
- Hello, Miss Arlington.
- Mr. Clampett.
722
00:54:42,279 --> 00:54:45,908
Well, gee, uh, I don't know
quite how to begin.
723
00:54:46,016 --> 00:54:49,008
Then let me start.
724
00:54:49,119 --> 00:54:53,351
I know, by just looking at you,
you are the perfect man for my stud farm.
725
00:54:54,758 --> 00:54:58,194
- Stud farm?
- If it makes it any easier for you...
726
00:54:58,295 --> 00:55:02,527
I am willing to take on
multiple partners.
727
00:55:02,632 --> 00:55:05,897
Multiple partners.
728
00:55:09,639 --> 00:55:11,539
Uh, no offense, ma'am...
729
00:55:11,641 --> 00:55:14,735
but I'm afraid I'd find that just
a tad uncomfortable.
730
00:55:16,846 --> 00:55:18,837
Well, what if it was with somebody
you really trusted...
731
00:55:18,948 --> 00:55:20,848
like Mr. Drysdale?
732
00:55:22,319 --> 00:55:24,219
I don't think this is
the sort of thing...
733
00:55:24,321 --> 00:55:26,881
Mr. Drysdale would want
to be involved in.
734
00:55:26,990 --> 00:55:29,185
Oh, well, you should
have seen his face...
735
00:55:29,292 --> 00:55:32,159
when I showed him the pictures
of what I have in mind.
736
00:55:32,262 --> 00:55:35,231
- He was very excited.
- I don't doubt that.
737
00:55:35,332 --> 00:55:38,028
Would you like to see the pictures?
They're very detailed.
738
00:55:38,134 --> 00:55:40,500
Not just yet!
739
00:55:40,603 --> 00:55:42,571
Don't you think we're
movin' awful fast?
740
00:55:42,672 --> 00:55:47,974
Oh, not as far
as I'm concerned, Mr. Clampett.
741
00:55:48,078 --> 00:55:51,070
I've got my license,
and I'm ready to breed.
742
00:55:53,049 --> 00:55:55,517
Excuse me, ma'am, uh...
743
00:55:55,618 --> 00:55:57,745
I could use a glass
of iced tea.
744
00:55:59,189 --> 00:56:00,952
- Yourself?
- Sure.
745
00:56:01,057 --> 00:56:04,515
I'm learnin' Elly May to ride my motorcycle!
746
00:56:04,627 --> 00:56:07,994
- How do you stop this thing?
- I'm gonna tan your hide.!
747
00:56:08,098 --> 00:56:11,932
You're doin' real good.
Now put on the brakes!
748
00:56:12,035 --> 00:56:13,935
- Granny?
- Whoa.!
749
00:56:14,037 --> 00:56:15,937
I'm gonna get you!
750
00:56:19,008 --> 00:56:21,135
Granny! Watch your head!
751
00:56:25,248 --> 00:56:28,479
Stop! Oh-oh-oh!
752
00:56:33,923 --> 00:56:36,153
- Dang!
- I'll help you, Granny.
753
00:56:36,259 --> 00:56:38,557
Come on. Swim over here.
754
00:56:38,661 --> 00:56:40,754
There we go. Give me your hand.
755
00:56:40,864 --> 00:56:43,628
Upsy-daisy.
Come on.
756
00:56:43,733 --> 00:56:46,065
There we...
Ow.! Granny.!
757
00:56:46,169 --> 00:56:48,797
Ow! Ow! Ow!
Granny!
758
00:56:48,905 --> 00:56:51,237
Miss Arlington, you reckon if we got hitched,
759
00:56:51,341 --> 00:56:54,139
you could help me tame
my daughter, Elly May?
760
00:56:54,244 --> 00:56:56,940
Are you proposing
we get married?
761
00:56:57,046 --> 00:57:00,914
Well, I wouldn't feel
right about breedin' if we didn't.
762
00:57:09,926 --> 00:57:14,829
Okay, men, that's it. Hit the mineral baths.
763
00:57:14,931 --> 00:57:17,263
- Howdy.
- Well, well. Look who's here.
764
00:57:17,367 --> 00:57:21,030
- Missed you at practice, babe.
- She didn't come alone.
765
00:57:21,137 --> 00:57:23,002
Hey, Morgan.
What are you doin' here?
766
00:57:26,075 --> 00:57:28,976
- Well, who's all these folks?
- Just to keep things fair.
767
00:57:29,078 --> 00:57:31,842
- Is this some kind of joke?
- Well, come on, baby.
768
00:57:31,948 --> 00:57:33,677
Let's wrestle.
769
00:57:36,252 --> 00:57:38,812
- Come on!
- Come on. Give it to him.
770
00:57:38,922 --> 00:57:41,891
Oh, wait. That's mine.
771
00:57:41,991 --> 00:57:44,152
It's mine.
772
00:57:46,196 --> 00:57:48,323
Come on, man.
You can do it!
773
00:57:48,431 --> 00:57:51,127
- Fight in the gym.
- All right. - Cool.
774
00:58:08,051 --> 00:58:10,918
Wait. Hold on. I'm getting a fax.
775
00:58:14,457 --> 00:58:17,255
Meet me there.
776
00:58:27,303 --> 00:58:29,771
This here's what I call
the Clampett clamp.
777
00:58:29,873 --> 00:58:31,602
That's not legal.
778
00:58:31,708 --> 00:58:34,074
Really?
Well, try this one.
779
00:58:35,612 --> 00:58:39,343
Hey, come on.
780
00:58:39,449 --> 00:58:42,179
- I call it the possum pretzel.
- That ain't legal either.
781
00:58:42,285 --> 00:58:45,516
- Well...
- Ow!
782
00:58:47,290 --> 00:58:49,383
What about
the hickory nut crunch?
783
00:58:54,330 --> 00:58:56,093
That's definitely not legal!
784
00:58:56,199 --> 00:58:59,828
Well, ain't nothin' legal 'round here?
785
00:59:08,244 --> 00:59:11,543
One, two...
786
00:59:13,750 --> 00:59:16,947
One, two...
787
00:59:17,053 --> 00:59:20,386
- Yeah!
- Three.
788
00:59:31,701 --> 00:59:34,568
Young lady!
789
00:59:34,671 --> 00:59:37,435
I think we've found
a new team captain.
790
00:59:37,540 --> 00:59:40,509
Sorry, Derek.
You're demoted.
791
00:59:42,011 --> 00:59:43,638
Come here, Morgan.
792
00:59:43,746 --> 00:59:46,340
Thanks, y'all.
793
00:59:53,423 --> 00:59:58,554
I truly appreciate y'all a-tossin' me
this here fancy birthday party.
794
00:59:58,661 --> 01:00:01,960
Everybody looks just as nice as peach pie.
795
01:00:02,065 --> 01:00:05,466
I just got one
question for you...
796
01:00:05,568 --> 01:00:08,093
- Who are these people?
- Well...
797
01:00:14,744 --> 01:00:17,508
Howdy, Miss Jane.
798
01:00:17,614 --> 01:00:20,082
Oh, my goodness, jethro.
799
01:00:21,618 --> 01:00:26,078
I took your advice...
made me a big fashy car.
800
01:00:26,189 --> 01:00:29,386
It's very you.
Very, very macho.
801
01:00:29,492 --> 01:00:33,121
- Thank you.
- Well, shall we?
802
01:00:38,167 --> 01:00:40,465
Is Pa here yet?
803
01:00:42,905 --> 01:00:46,136
Elly May Clampett,
you look plumb elegant.
804
01:00:46,242 --> 01:00:50,178
Thanks, Pa. I feel kind of funny
gettin' all gussied up like this...
805
01:00:50,279 --> 01:00:53,715
but Miss Laurette
says I'll get used to it.
806
01:00:55,284 --> 01:00:58,151
You've done a fine job in
turnin' Elly May into a lady.
807
01:00:58,254 --> 01:01:00,950
Thank you,
Monsieur Clampett.
808
01:01:01,057 --> 01:01:04,823
She is a diamond in ze rough,
just like you.
809
01:01:04,927 --> 01:01:09,057
What's all this?
810
01:01:09,165 --> 01:01:12,430
Sushi, calamari, caviar.
811
01:01:12,535 --> 01:01:15,527
What? Speak American.
812
01:01:15,638 --> 01:01:18,266
Listen, I was wondering if, um...
813
01:01:18,374 --> 01:01:20,342
maybe sometime
we could go out.
814
01:01:20,443 --> 01:01:24,743
Not on a date or anything, but just maybe
to go get some burgers or something.
815
01:01:24,847 --> 01:01:27,645
Take off that silly hat.
816
01:01:29,452 --> 01:01:32,444
Then again, I would, uh...
understand if you didn't want to.
817
01:01:32,555 --> 01:01:36,389
Sounds like fun.
818
01:01:36,492 --> 01:01:39,723
So, Jethro, once we find
your UncleJed a wife...
819
01:01:39,829 --> 01:01:43,629
- Perhaps it'll be your turn to get hitched.
- Me? No.
820
01:01:43,733 --> 01:01:46,702
I'm gonna be
a Hollywood bachelor...
821
01:01:46,803 --> 01:01:48,930
date all the hot young starlets.
822
01:01:49,038 --> 01:01:52,838
Well, let me remind you not to overlook
the charms of the slightly older woman...
823
01:01:52,942 --> 01:01:57,379
who more than makes up with experience
what she may lack in other arenas.
824
01:01:57,480 --> 01:01:59,812
Okay, Miss Jane.
825
01:01:59,916 --> 01:02:02,146
No problem.
826
01:02:02,251 --> 01:02:06,711
- Oh, please, let me.
- Tyler, clam it. It's showtime.
827
01:02:12,962 --> 01:02:15,931
Miss Laurette?
Why are you cryin'?
828
01:02:17,834 --> 01:02:20,701
I- I have just spoken
with your father.
829
01:02:20,803 --> 01:02:24,102
And he says I would make
ze best wife for him.
830
01:02:24,207 --> 01:02:28,473
- He did?
- But as happy as I would make him...
831
01:02:28,578 --> 01:02:34,016
I am afraid that you will think I'm too young
and beautiful to be your mother.
832
01:02:37,353 --> 01:02:41,289
Who'd of thought it...
Miss Laurette and my pa? Hmm.
833
01:02:42,725 --> 01:02:46,183
Oh, where is he? Oh.
834
01:02:47,964 --> 01:02:50,933
So I can call you whenever I want?
You'll hotfoot it right over?
835
01:02:51,033 --> 01:02:54,730
- Mm-hmm.
- Hot dog.
836
01:02:54,837 --> 01:02:57,305
Thank you.
837
01:02:59,876 --> 01:03:04,677
I will miss Elly May so much
when you find yourself a wife.
838
01:03:04,781 --> 01:03:10,413
- And I will miss you too.
- I hadn't thought about you not bein' here.
839
01:03:10,520 --> 01:03:13,387
It's sure been a pleasure
to have you stay with us.
840
01:03:13,489 --> 01:03:15,184
Thank you.
841
01:03:15,291 --> 01:03:17,156
Jed?
842
01:03:17,260 --> 01:03:20,388
Elly May said ze strangest thing
to me tonight.
843
01:03:20,496 --> 01:03:23,226
She said she would love
for me to be her mother.
844
01:03:23,332 --> 01:03:28,031
I'm sure she'll get over the disappointment
in whomever you choose.
845
01:03:29,939 --> 01:03:32,908
I love Elly May
just like a daughter.
846
01:03:33,009 --> 01:03:35,204
Perhaps you should
speak with her.
847
01:03:35,311 --> 01:03:37,541
I'll do that.
848
01:03:46,088 --> 01:03:48,215
Well.
849
01:03:48,324 --> 01:03:50,224
This here's a big night for you...
850
01:03:50,326 --> 01:03:54,660
all dressed up and ladylike
at your first Beverly Hills social.
851
01:03:54,764 --> 01:03:57,324
Your ma would be so proud.
852
01:03:57,433 --> 01:04:01,233
Thanks, Pa. Miss Laurette said
she was right proud too.
853
01:04:01,337 --> 01:04:04,067
You like her, don't you?
854
01:04:04,173 --> 01:04:07,802
Well, I like her just fine,
and I guess you like her too.
855
01:04:07,910 --> 01:04:09,878
I certainly do.
856
01:04:11,614 --> 01:04:14,082
All I want is for you
to be happy, Elly May.
857
01:04:14,183 --> 01:04:17,744
I just want you
to be happy, Pa.
858
01:04:17,854 --> 01:04:20,482
Well, I reckon
there's no time like right now.
859
01:04:25,461 --> 01:04:28,021
- Happy birthday, jed.
- Happy birthday.
860
01:04:36,339 --> 01:04:37,772
Oh!
861
01:04:58,928 --> 01:05:02,125
Well, I got a feeling you're
worth every dime of it too.
862
01:05:02,231 --> 01:05:05,394
Step up here. Let me take
a good look at you.
863
01:05:05,501 --> 01:05:08,629
Boy, you're looking good
on your birthday.
864
01:05:08,738 --> 01:05:11,536
I think we need a speech,
don't you? Speech.
865
01:05:15,778 --> 01:05:19,407
You know, I have more
than any one man deserves...
866
01:05:19,515 --> 01:05:22,484
yet there is something
I'd like for my birthday.
867
01:05:22,585 --> 01:05:27,989
I'd like to ask the one who helped Elly May
become a lady to be my wife.
868
01:05:29,926 --> 01:05:33,521
Miss Laurette Voleur.
869
01:05:33,629 --> 01:05:36,598
Oh, I am so surprised.
870
01:05:37,934 --> 01:05:40,425
This is ze happiest day
of my life.
871
01:05:43,806 --> 01:05:45,706
Huh?
872
01:05:45,808 --> 01:05:49,335
All right.
Congratulations.
873
01:06:44,867 --> 01:06:47,665
- You don't say.
- I do say!
874
01:06:47,770 --> 01:06:49,863
Well, I'll be.
Who's he marrying?
875
01:06:49,972 --> 01:06:53,840
Oh, some foozy
with a fancy accent.
876
01:06:53,943 --> 01:06:56,173
She seems sneaky to me.
I don't trust her.
877
01:06:56,278 --> 01:06:58,405
Oh, Granny, you
don't trust anybody.
878
01:06:58,514 --> 01:07:00,880
Never mind about that.
879
01:07:00,983 --> 01:07:04,714
I'm invitin' you to the weddin'
and the cousins.
880
01:07:04,820 --> 01:07:09,450
But just from Jed's side,
not includin' the Kelloggs nor the Daggs.
881
01:07:09,558 --> 01:07:12,618
Now, Granny, you're not gonna
get into your tonic...
882
01:07:12,728 --> 01:07:15,219
and disappear like you did when Jed
married your daughter, are ya?
883
01:07:20,569 --> 01:07:23,299
Jethrine, your UncleJed's
gettin' married.
884
01:07:25,975 --> 01:07:28,603
I always cry at weddings.
885
01:07:28,711 --> 01:07:31,202
Oh, now, honey.
886
01:07:31,313 --> 01:07:34,111
I do.
887
01:07:38,054 --> 01:07:41,046
Well, you got both kinds
of chickens here, Jed.
888
01:07:41,157 --> 01:07:44,126
- White and the brown.
- What you got there, son?
889
01:07:44,226 --> 01:07:47,889
Oh, it's just a standard
prenuptial agreement.
890
01:07:47,997 --> 01:07:53,128
Miss Hathaway said for you not to tell
anyone that you signed it, not even her.
891
01:07:53,235 --> 01:07:58,434
Well, if Miss Hathaway says so,
I don't even have to read this. It must be fine.
892
01:08:02,611 --> 01:08:06,741
They'll be comin' from miles around
to get my expert doctorin'...
893
01:08:06,849 --> 01:08:09,647
and I won't
turn a one away.
894
01:08:09,752 --> 01:08:13,381
I done took me the "hypocritter" oath
to help everybody.
895
01:08:17,927 --> 01:08:20,395
Kinda weak.
896
01:08:20,496 --> 01:08:25,524
Probably good enough for city folk.
897
01:08:25,634 --> 01:08:27,602
Tyler.!
898
01:08:29,905 --> 01:08:32,533
Did you get him
to sign the papers?
899
01:08:32,641 --> 01:08:35,735
Oh, yeah.
He's a very trusting man.
900
01:08:35,845 --> 01:08:37,972
He thinks everyone's honest.
901
01:08:38,080 --> 01:08:41,538
That's a quality I admire in a man
I'm taking advantage of.
902
01:08:41,650 --> 01:08:44,778
Hey, uh, you're not
sleeping with him, are you?
903
01:08:44,887 --> 01:08:48,755
Tyler, you know once I move in with a man,
I stop having sex with him.
904
01:08:48,858 --> 01:08:50,826
Oh, yeah.
That's right.
905
01:08:50,926 --> 01:08:56,489
- Keep your mind on business. Now go.
- Hey, wait.
906
01:08:56,599 --> 01:09:00,729
- How about a little good-bye kiss?
- All right.
907
01:09:02,505 --> 01:09:04,666
I knowed it!
I knowed it!
908
01:09:04,773 --> 01:09:07,708
I done catched you red-handed,
you two-timin' hussy!
909
01:09:07,810 --> 01:09:11,302
When I inform jed, the weddin'will be off!
910
01:09:11,413 --> 01:09:13,677
Let's get her.
911
01:09:13,782 --> 01:09:16,580
Uh-oh. Oh.
912
01:09:19,788 --> 01:09:21,915
No! No! No!
913
01:09:26,262 --> 01:09:28,594
Shut up, you old hag.!
914
01:09:28,697 --> 01:09:32,155
We got just the place for you.
915
01:09:32,268 --> 01:09:34,168
Let me down!
916
01:09:39,808 --> 01:09:42,276
I've already input the info
into the computer.
917
01:09:42,378 --> 01:09:45,779
Soon as you say "I do"... bing!
I press "Enter. "
918
01:09:45,881 --> 01:09:48,441
Boom! The money goes
via modem to Switzerland.
919
01:09:48,551 --> 01:09:51,884
Bing, bang, boom.
We're rich!
920
01:09:53,822 --> 01:09:56,154
- Oh.
- Look at those legs.
921
01:09:56,258 --> 01:09:59,227
I can't wait to get them
wrapped around me.
922
01:09:59,328 --> 01:10:01,853
Get her off of me!
923
01:10:01,964 --> 01:10:04,592
- Get those legs off him!
- She's got crap on her boots!
924
01:10:08,337 --> 01:10:11,431
She doesn't even think we're her grandchildren.
925
01:10:11,540 --> 01:10:14,202
And you say you fear
for your lives?
926
01:10:14,310 --> 01:10:18,440
Yes. I'm afraid the poor old dear
tried to shoot us with a shotgun.
927
01:10:18,547 --> 01:10:20,572
Are there any other
indications of dementia?
928
01:10:20,683 --> 01:10:23,413
Last week, we caught her
trying to eat a raccoon.
929
01:10:23,519 --> 01:10:26,488
- Really?
- She calls us kidnappers.
930
01:10:26,589 --> 01:10:28,989
They are! They are!
The old buzzards are!
931
01:10:29,091 --> 01:10:31,389
- Wait, now.
- Grandma, please.
932
01:10:31,493 --> 01:10:34,257
Ow! She bit me again, honey!
933
01:10:34,363 --> 01:10:36,627
Better check her for rabies.
934
01:10:36,732 --> 01:10:38,893
- Get two orderlies in here stat!
- Poor old dear.
935
01:10:42,104 --> 01:10:45,665
We can't take the heartbreak a minute longer.
We need to admit her someplace...
936
01:10:45,774 --> 01:10:49,574
where she can be kept in a straitjacket
away from sharp objects and pay phones.
937
01:10:49,678 --> 01:10:52,977
From what you've told me,
I'd say that your grandmother...
938
01:10:53,082 --> 01:10:58,714
is a perfect candidate
for, uh, electroshock therapy.
939
01:11:03,192 --> 01:11:07,288
And nobody... I repeat nobody... is allowed
into the Clampett estate without an invitation.
940
01:11:07,396 --> 01:11:10,331
Sans invitation, non.
941
01:11:10,432 --> 01:11:13,265
Miss jane, this fella's all mad at me
'cause I opened up...
942
01:11:13,369 --> 01:11:14,996
this box of wedding food...
943
01:11:15,104 --> 01:11:17,595
but there ain't nothin' in there
but a bunch of snails.
944
01:11:17,706 --> 01:11:21,608
I think the snails got up in there
and et all the food.
945
01:11:22,878 --> 01:11:25,346
No problem. Jethro,
we'll just buy some more.
946
01:11:25,447 --> 01:11:28,109
And, Henri, the snails go back
to the garden where they belong...
947
01:11:28,217 --> 01:11:31,015
s'il vous pl�it.
948
01:11:31,120 --> 01:11:32,985
To your posts.
949
01:11:33,088 --> 01:11:37,218
Everything's going fine,
but I have one small question.
950
01:11:37,326 --> 01:11:42,059
Granny has not been available for her
fitting, and the wedding is tomorrow.
951
01:11:42,164 --> 01:11:46,328
Hmm. Come to think of it, I ain't seen
hide nor hair of Granny since yesterday.
952
01:11:46,435 --> 01:11:49,063
And you're not concerned?
953
01:11:49,171 --> 01:11:53,540
No. She done the same thing
when I married Elly May's ma.
954
01:11:53,642 --> 01:11:56,543
Came pourin' in
about three days later...
955
01:11:56,645 --> 01:12:00,012
naked as a jaybird and
reeking of her medicine.
956
01:12:00,115 --> 01:12:03,243
Hmm.
957
01:12:37,219 --> 01:12:39,585
Play it, George.!
958
01:12:52,134 --> 01:12:53,761
Whoo!
959
01:13:21,730 --> 01:13:24,528
Miss Hathaway, if the immediate family
isn't concerned enough...
960
01:13:24,633 --> 01:13:26,999
to file a missing persons report,
then there's nothing we can do.
961
01:13:27,102 --> 01:13:29,297
But, Captain Gallo,
I suspect foul play.
962
01:13:29,405 --> 01:13:32,340
I'm sorry,
but my hands are tied.
963
01:13:37,780 --> 01:13:43,480
But if you're desperate,
you might try this guy.
964
01:13:43,585 --> 01:13:48,784
He's expensive, but he's also the best
private investigator around.
965
01:13:59,334 --> 01:14:02,269
Oh, this case was pretty easy
to crack, Miss Hathaway.
966
01:14:02,371 --> 01:14:07,001
I have met unsavory characters before,
but she takes the cake.
967
01:14:08,610 --> 01:14:11,841
Laurette Voleur,
a. k. a. Laura Jackson.
968
01:14:11,947 --> 01:14:14,745
A.k. a. Lili Lebecque.
969
01:14:14,850 --> 01:14:18,843
Married 12 times to any guy
with a little extra money to throw around.
970
01:14:18,954 --> 01:14:21,081
I should've known.
971
01:14:21,190 --> 01:14:26,059
Voleur. French for "thief. "
Now what about Granny?
972
01:14:26,161 --> 01:14:31,064
The old lady is being forcibly held
at the Los Viejos Retirement Home...
973
01:14:31,166 --> 01:14:35,068
a disreputable establishment,
often cited for patient abuse.
974
01:14:35,170 --> 01:14:38,037
Be tough to break her out.
975
01:14:38,140 --> 01:14:42,042
What a calamity,
and the wedding is just hours away.
976
01:14:45,747 --> 01:14:50,411
Reverend, do you think Cousin Bill's gonna
be too busy to make it to the weddin'?
977
01:14:57,259 --> 01:14:59,727
Hillary, where did I put that invitation?
978
01:15:02,865 --> 01:15:05,163
Flowers, come here. Quick.
979
01:15:05,267 --> 01:15:09,226
They need tent stakes
in the backyard right now. Let's go.
980
01:15:15,711 --> 01:15:19,169
Hello. Clampett residence.
Mr. Drysdale?
981
01:15:19,281 --> 01:15:22,944
- I have an urgent call for Mr. Drysdale.
- I'll take that.
982
01:15:23,051 --> 01:15:26,452
He works for me.
983
01:15:26,555 --> 01:15:29,524
- Woody Tyler. Can I help you?
- Tyler, what are you doing there?
984
01:15:29,625 --> 01:15:32,287
Um, I just dropped by
to see if I could be of help.
985
01:15:32,394 --> 01:15:35,124
Tell Mr. Drysdale
to stop the wedding.
986
01:15:35,230 --> 01:15:39,963
- Okay.
- Laurette is a phony who is after Mr. Clampett's money.
987
01:15:40,068 --> 01:15:42,400
Well, that's not good.
988
01:15:42,504 --> 01:15:46,133
- Do it, Tyler, or your job is toast.
- I got it.
989
01:15:50,712 --> 01:15:53,146
- She's getting fat, Mom.
- Where is Hathaway?
990
01:15:53,248 --> 01:15:55,079
She was supposed
to check in with me hours ago.
991
01:15:55,183 --> 01:15:58,152
- Well, I don't know, dear.
- Mr. Drysdale.
992
01:15:58,253 --> 01:16:00,949
- What do you want, Tyler?
- Miss Hathaway called.
993
01:16:01,056 --> 01:16:03,547
She said something had come up and to go
ahead and start the wedding without her.
994
01:16:03,659 --> 01:16:06,287
- Well, what could have come up?
- I wish I knew.
995
01:16:06,395 --> 01:16:08,920
My, what a lovely dog.
996
01:16:09,031 --> 01:16:11,226
Oh, thank you.
997
01:16:11,333 --> 01:16:13,801
Tyler, make yourself useful.
Go count the olives.
998
01:16:13,902 --> 01:16:15,802
Oh, yeah. Right away.
999
01:16:15,904 --> 01:16:18,532
Oh, I hate that little worm.
1000
01:16:18,640 --> 01:16:22,303
What could possibly be more important
than this to Miss Hathaway?
1001
01:16:35,591 --> 01:16:39,027
- Look at that. New nurse.
- Yeah.
1002
01:16:39,127 --> 01:16:44,759
- Howdy, Mama!
- My baby! Oh! Why!
1003
01:16:44,866 --> 01:16:47,767
My goodness, Beverly Hills
has made you so sophisticated.
1004
01:16:47,869 --> 01:16:50,770
Doesn't your twin brother
look handsome?
1005
01:16:50,872 --> 01:16:52,999
- Hi, jethro.
- Give him a kiss, Jethrine.
1006
01:16:53,108 --> 01:16:56,703
Howdy, Jethro.
1007
01:17:06,622 --> 01:17:09,113
Oh, excuse me.
1008
01:17:12,961 --> 01:17:15,361
- I reckon.
- Yep.
1009
01:17:16,832 --> 01:17:18,527
Young man...
1010
01:17:18,634 --> 01:17:22,229
I am here to see
Daisy Mae Moses.
1011
01:17:22,337 --> 01:17:24,828
Ah, then you must be here
for the rabies test.
1012
01:17:24,940 --> 01:17:28,501
Yes. Rabies test.
Exactly right.
1013
01:17:28,610 --> 01:17:30,703
Then you want Room 525.
1014
01:17:32,914 --> 01:17:35,041
Oh, nurse.
1015
01:17:35,150 --> 01:17:37,448
Better be careful.
She's a wild one.
1016
01:17:37,552 --> 01:17:40,487
We had to give her
electroshock therapy.
1017
01:17:40,589 --> 01:17:43,888
Thank you.
1018
01:17:55,003 --> 01:17:58,370
- Excuse me.
- No problem.
1019
01:18:01,443 --> 01:18:05,243
My God.
Oh, Granny.
1020
01:18:07,983 --> 01:18:11,714
Your elixir.
1021
01:18:14,289 --> 01:18:17,190
I will take you
out of here immediately.
1022
01:18:17,292 --> 01:18:19,192
Your hair is just
a bit disheveled.
1023
01:18:19,294 --> 01:18:22,730
Miss Jane?
Is that you?
1024
01:18:22,831 --> 01:18:25,891
- 'Tis I.
- Oh!
1025
01:18:28,437 --> 01:18:33,374
- Granny says she don't trust Miss Laurette.
- Oh.
1026
01:18:33,475 --> 01:18:37,969
Take off that silly hat.
1027
01:18:47,823 --> 01:18:50,951
I heard she's so skinny, you couldn't
hit her with a handful of corn.
1028
01:18:56,198 --> 01:19:00,999
Look where they're parking the cars.
My God, how tacky.
1029
01:19:02,370 --> 01:19:04,838
This place is turning into a zoo.
1030
01:19:04,940 --> 01:19:09,070
I think she's tryin' to
take him for all he's got.
1031
01:19:09,177 --> 01:19:10,769
Hmm.
1032
01:19:20,589 --> 01:19:22,887
Hi there, handsome.
1033
01:19:22,991 --> 01:19:26,119
- You mind if I sit in this chair?
- This chair?
1034
01:19:26,228 --> 01:19:28,856
- I was kind of saving...
- Thank you.
1035
01:19:31,233 --> 01:19:33,497
Lovely wedding, isn't it?
1036
01:19:35,170 --> 01:19:37,138
Go.
1037
01:19:41,143 --> 01:19:45,102
Oh. We've got to get back.
1038
01:19:45,213 --> 01:19:47,704
I called. I told them
to stop the wedding...
1039
01:19:47,816 --> 01:19:49,681
but that Tyler
is so incompetent.
1040
01:19:49,785 --> 01:19:53,312
Tyler? Him and Laurette's the ones
that stuck me in this hellhole!
1041
01:19:53,421 --> 01:19:56,879
So, stabbed in the back
by one of our own.
1042
01:19:56,992 --> 01:19:59,460
And she ain't no foreigner.
1043
01:19:59,561 --> 01:20:01,859
There they are.
Stop them.
1044
01:20:27,522 --> 01:20:29,990
Jethro, hold up.
1045
01:20:54,282 --> 01:20:56,580
- Come on. Come on.
- Oh, there she is.
1046
01:20:56,685 --> 01:20:59,813
- Come on. Come on. Come on.
- Oh, she looks beautiful.
1047
01:21:01,690 --> 01:21:06,059
Oh, I've got the vapors.
1048
01:21:25,413 --> 01:21:27,881
My makeup.
1049
01:21:27,983 --> 01:21:30,918
Oh.
1050
01:21:31,019 --> 01:21:35,115
"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here
in case of an emergency.
1051
01:21:35,223 --> 01:21:38,784
"Oxygen masks will fall from
the overhead compartment.
1052
01:21:38,894 --> 01:21:42,330
"Your seat cushion can be
used as a floatin'device.
1053
01:21:42,430 --> 01:21:44,557
- Thus sayeth the Lord. "
- Excuse me, Reverend.
1054
01:21:44,666 --> 01:21:47,760
But I believe you're readin'
the airplane safety instructions.
1055
01:21:47,869 --> 01:21:50,929
May we skip this part?
1056
01:21:51,039 --> 01:21:54,634
Hathaway had better have
a good excuse for not being here.
1057
01:21:55,911 --> 01:21:58,539
Quick, Granny, hurry.!
1058
01:22:00,682 --> 01:22:02,707
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Can I see your invitations, please?
1059
01:22:02,817 --> 01:22:06,514
I'll handle this, Granny. Young man, have you
any idea with whom you're speaking?
1060
01:22:06,621 --> 01:22:10,079
I'd say one crazy lady
and another one with a bad wig.
1061
01:22:10,191 --> 01:22:12,785
Every strand of
this here hair is mine!
1062
01:22:12,894 --> 01:22:14,885
- Ow!
- Oh... Oh, Granny, no, no, no!
1063
01:22:14,996 --> 01:22:17,590
No, Granny, no! No, Granny, no!
We'll find another way.
1064
01:22:17,699 --> 01:22:21,658
"We are gathered here
to unite these two in holy matrimony. "
1065
01:22:25,040 --> 01:22:27,338
- Can we hurry things up, please?
- Yes, ma'am.
1066
01:22:29,077 --> 01:22:32,205
Come on. Come on, baby.
1067
01:22:32,314 --> 01:22:35,374
"If any one of y'all has one good reason
these two shouldn't be hitched... "
1068
01:22:35,483 --> 01:22:37,849
and it darn tootin'
better be a good reason...
1069
01:22:37,953 --> 01:22:41,286
"then speak now or forever
hold your peace. "
1070
01:22:43,425 --> 01:22:46,952
- All right, then. "I now pronounce you... "
- Please. Please. Please.
1071
01:22:47,062 --> 01:22:49,189
"man and... "
1072
01:22:49,297 --> 01:22:50,889
What in tarnation is that?
1073
01:22:54,669 --> 01:22:58,662
Charge!
1074
01:23:32,841 --> 01:23:35,401
Come on, Granny!
1075
01:23:35,510 --> 01:23:37,944
It is I, Jane Hathaway.
1076
01:23:38,046 --> 01:23:40,344
Hathaway,
have you lost your mind?
1077
01:23:40,448 --> 01:23:44,282
She's an impostor. She's marrying
Mr. Clampett just to steal his money.
1078
01:23:44,386 --> 01:23:48,584
- That sidewinder Tyler helped her!
- I'm ruined!
1079
01:23:48,690 --> 01:23:50,453
Milburn! Milburn!
1080
01:23:53,028 --> 01:23:55,997
Tyler. Let's set up the computer
and push the button.
1081
01:23:56,097 --> 01:23:58,292
If I can't have their money,
nobody should.
1082
01:23:58,400 --> 01:24:01,062
Quick!
1083
01:24:01,169 --> 01:24:02,602
Okay.
1084
01:24:02,704 --> 01:24:06,003
We'll send their billion bucks
bouncin'around so many banks...
1085
01:24:06,107 --> 01:24:09,076
- they'll never find it.
- It's all set.
1086
01:24:09,177 --> 01:24:12,977
All we got to do is push that button.
1087
01:24:13,081 --> 01:24:15,549
You rustic, nose-picking,
inbred yokels!
1088
01:24:15,650 --> 01:24:19,984
- You're all about to be poor again.
- Think again.
1089
01:24:34,035 --> 01:24:37,027
No, you don't,
you schemin'skunk.!
1090
01:24:37,138 --> 01:24:39,163
Wait'll I get my hands on you!
1091
01:24:39,274 --> 01:24:42,641
Oh, Pa, you must be
so disappointed.
1092
01:24:42,744 --> 01:24:44,871
A little.
1093
01:24:44,979 --> 01:24:47,504
But, Elly May, I was mainly
marryin' Miss Laurette...
1094
01:24:47,615 --> 01:24:50,243
'cause I thought you wanted her
for your new ma.
1095
01:24:52,821 --> 01:24:55,654
- I'm so sorry, Pa.
- Don't be sorry.
1096
01:24:55,757 --> 01:24:57,952
I love you
just the way you are.
1097
01:24:58,059 --> 01:25:00,755
I reckon I oughta raise you up
to be who you want to be.
1098
01:25:00,862 --> 01:25:05,196
Well, I don't need a new ma,
not as long as I got you and Granny.
1099
01:25:07,035 --> 01:25:10,664
Hot dog, Miss Jane!
You sure are a good shot.
1100
01:25:10,772 --> 01:25:12,899
Well, thank you, Jethro.
1101
01:25:13,007 --> 01:25:13,996
- Whoo!
- Got ya!
1102
01:25:14,109 --> 01:25:17,237
Well, folks,
I guess you can say...
1103
01:25:17,345 --> 01:25:20,007
things didn't turn out
quite the way we planned.
1104
01:25:20,115 --> 01:25:24,518
So, since there ain't
gonna be no hitchin'...
1105
01:25:24,619 --> 01:25:26,951
and we're all here anyway...
1106
01:25:28,957 --> 01:25:33,519
I say we have
one hellacious shindig.
1107
01:25:33,628 --> 01:25:35,823
Yeah.!
1108
01:25:42,103 --> 01:25:46,233
- Let go of me.!
- Here, boys. She's all yours!
1109
01:25:53,581 --> 01:25:55,481
Let go of my hand!
1110
01:26:11,432 --> 01:26:14,367
- Hey! Nobody treats my pa that way!
- Shut up!
1111
01:26:19,941 --> 01:26:23,035
How's that for ladylike,
you old money-grubber?
1112
01:26:28,850 --> 01:26:31,444
Come on, city boy,
let's dance.
1113
01:26:31,553 --> 01:26:33,953
All right, stand back!
1114
01:26:39,294 --> 01:26:41,455
You're under arrest
for kidnapping...
1115
01:26:41,563 --> 01:26:43,463
attempted embezzlement
and fraud.
1116
01:26:43,565 --> 01:26:46,864
Oh, right.!
It was all Tyler's idea.
1117
01:26:53,508 --> 01:26:56,409
I admit it freely.
It was all her idea.
1118
01:26:56,511 --> 01:27:01,210
I always fall in love
with the wrong kind of man.
1119
01:27:01,316 --> 01:27:04,080
- Clean up that cake.
- Don't step on the train.
1120
01:27:04,185 --> 01:27:08,144
I'll wait for you, honey.
1121
01:27:11,559 --> 01:27:15,154
Well, where was she? She... Oh.!
1122
01:27:15,263 --> 01:27:19,097
- Oh, well...
- Whee doggie!
1123
01:27:33,615 --> 01:27:36,482
Whoo.! Yeah.! That's good.
1124
01:27:49,230 --> 01:27:51,858
Thank you.
1125
01:27:51,966 --> 01:27:55,834
That's just about right.
Oops!
1126
01:27:55,937 --> 01:27:58,963
It's a shame they had to
file for bankruptcy.
1127
01:27:59,073 --> 01:28:01,701
I just hope my call to
the I.R.S. didn't have...
1128
01:28:01,809 --> 01:28:04,505
- Oh, I shouldn't open it. Sorry.
- No problem. We'll do it again.
1129
01:28:04,612 --> 01:28:06,170
But I got there...
1130
01:28:06,281 --> 01:28:09,079
That old lady is, uh...
1131
01:28:09,183 --> 01:28:11,811
That old lady is...
I'm sorry.
1132
01:28:11,919 --> 01:28:14,353
- That's okay.
- She's gettin' pretty old by now, I'll tell ya.
1133
01:28:14,455 --> 01:28:16,480
Still rolling.
1134
01:28:18,192 --> 01:28:21,650
- Okay. Give me a big smile.
- I can't get any bigger.
1135
01:28:26,434 --> 01:28:28,732
So, uh, what happened?
1136
01:28:28,836 --> 01:28:32,328
Actually, he slapped me.
1137
01:28:38,946 --> 01:28:42,074
Why don't you come up here?
Let me take a good look at you.
1138
01:28:43,918 --> 01:28:47,149
Jim. Jim? They're gettin'worried about you.
1139
01:28:51,759 --> 01:28:55,217
- Not even a bridesmaid.
- I gotta do this again.
1140
01:29:05,440 --> 01:29:07,567
Action.!
1141
01:29:10,978 --> 01:29:13,105
We've got... No,
we've got to get back.
1142
01:29:13,214 --> 01:29:15,842
I called, I told them
to postpone the...
1143
01:29:15,950 --> 01:29:17,850
- I lost my purse.
- It's right here.
1144
01:29:17,952 --> 01:29:21,251
- How did you get it?
- I don't know.
1145
01:29:21,356 --> 01:29:24,723
Jethro?
Come on down here.
1146
01:29:24,826 --> 01:29:27,090
Likely as not, there's
another family lives up here...
1147
01:29:27,195 --> 01:29:28,958
there.
1148
01:29:29,305 --> 01:29:35,344
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