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1
00:00:01,502 --> 00:00:04,505
ADULT ADAM:
Back in the '80s, my mom was
obsessed with my birthday.
2
00:00:04,538 --> 00:00:07,441
She always went over the top.
And over that top.
3
00:00:07,475 --> 00:00:09,343
So as I approached adulthood,
I was hoping
4
00:00:09,377 --> 00:00:11,279
for the biggest
present of them all.
5
00:00:11,312 --> 00:00:13,047
Get excited,
Schmoopaloo.
6
00:00:13,081 --> 00:00:15,316
Your gift is right
behind that garage door.
7
00:00:15,349 --> 00:00:17,918
Ooh! I need to know...
Does it have wheels?
8
00:00:17,951 --> 00:00:20,121
Maybe.
And can it take me
all over town?
9
00:00:20,154 --> 00:00:22,022
Maybe.
And when I pull
up to school,
10
00:00:22,056 --> 00:00:23,957
will the ladies lower
their sunglasses and say,
11
00:00:23,991 --> 00:00:25,759
with surprise,
"Adam Goldberg?"
12
00:00:25,793 --> 00:00:26,860
Definitely!
13
00:00:26,894 --> 00:00:28,462
Ta-da!
14
00:00:28,496 --> 00:00:29,963
A freakin' bike?
15
00:00:29,997 --> 00:00:33,000
Where's my GMC Sierra Grande,
as featured in The Fall Guy?
16
00:00:33,033 --> 00:00:34,668
This is way
better than a car.
17
00:00:34,702 --> 00:00:37,004
ADULT ADAM: Fat chance.
But then I laid eyes
on my mom's
18
00:00:37,037 --> 00:00:38,972
most over-the-top gift ever...
19
00:00:39,006 --> 00:00:41,875
An exact replica
of the bike from
Pee-wee's Big Adventure!
20
00:00:41,909 --> 00:00:43,644
You didn't.
I did.
21
00:00:43,677 --> 00:00:45,813
I'm officially
the greatest mama
in the world!
22
00:00:45,846 --> 00:00:47,014
She really was.
23
00:00:47,047 --> 00:00:49,317
Growing up, I was obsessed
with Pee-wee Herman
24
00:00:49,350 --> 00:00:50,851
and his wacky movie
misadventures
25
00:00:50,884 --> 00:00:53,087
tracking down his beloved
beach cruiser.
26
00:00:53,121 --> 00:00:54,488
Exhibit A!
27
00:00:54,522 --> 00:00:56,657
A photograph of the victims.
28
00:00:56,690 --> 00:00:58,826
My bike and me.
29
00:00:58,859 --> 00:01:01,229
Yep, I could finally
be zany like Pee-wee!
30
00:01:01,262 --> 00:01:02,563
And I owed it all
to my mom!
31
00:01:02,596 --> 00:01:03,797
And there's more.
32
00:01:03,831 --> 00:01:05,566
Oh! Pee-wee's
finely tailored suit!
33
00:01:05,599 --> 00:01:06,667
Oh!
34
00:01:06,700 --> 00:01:08,068
Wagh!
35
00:01:08,102 --> 00:01:09,237
Agh! (CHUCKLES)
36
00:01:09,270 --> 00:01:10,404
Neat bike, Adam!
37
00:01:10,438 --> 00:01:11,539
Thanks, Mrs. K!
38
00:01:11,572 --> 00:01:12,640
Neat lawn!
(BICYCLE BELL RINGS)
39
00:01:12,673 --> 00:01:14,007
Whoa!
Is that Pee-wee's bike?
40
00:01:14,041 --> 00:01:15,075
Sure is, Dave Kim!
41
00:01:15,109 --> 00:01:16,877
Are you rolling
your harp home?
42
00:01:16,910 --> 00:01:18,912
I am!
Your thing is way better!
43
00:01:18,946 --> 00:01:21,749
Sweet ride, Goldnerd.
Can I have it?
44
00:01:21,782 --> 00:01:22,850
Not a chance!
45
00:01:22,883 --> 00:01:24,185
Respect.
You know what?
46
00:01:24,218 --> 00:01:25,419
Sometimes
you're pretty cool.
47
00:01:25,453 --> 00:01:26,754
Yay!
(BICYCLE BELL RINGS)
48
00:01:26,787 --> 00:01:28,456
(CHUCKLES) Oh!
How was she?
49
00:01:28,489 --> 00:01:30,258
I know I say this a lot,
but honestly, this is
50
00:01:30,291 --> 00:01:31,625
the first time
I mean it...
51
00:01:31,659 --> 00:01:33,361
I love you.
I'll take it.
52
00:01:33,394 --> 00:01:36,930
Now scoot your booty up
and take your mama
for a spin!
53
00:01:36,964 --> 00:01:38,599
(GROANS)
54
00:01:38,632 --> 00:01:40,168
* I'm twisted up inside
55
00:01:40,201 --> 00:01:43,871
* But nonetheless,
I feel the need to say
56
00:01:45,973 --> 00:01:47,408
* I don't know the future
57
00:01:47,441 --> 00:01:51,179
* But the past keeps getting
clearer every day *
58
00:01:51,212 --> 00:01:53,247
ADULT ADAM:
It was March 25th,
1980 something,
59
00:01:53,281 --> 00:01:56,217
and Erica had been taking
college seriously all year.
60
00:01:56,250 --> 00:01:58,419
With the exception of the
campus parking regulations.
61
00:01:58,452 --> 00:02:00,288
Are these all
parking tickets?
Yeah, they are.
62
00:02:00,321 --> 00:02:02,323
That's why they're in
the parking ticket drawer.
63
00:02:02,356 --> 00:02:04,792
You've gotten a ticket
in every illegal zone
there is...
64
00:02:04,825 --> 00:02:07,328
Red, yellow, blue.
What's green?
65
00:02:07,361 --> 00:02:08,662
That's for parking on grass.
66
00:02:08,696 --> 00:02:10,631
But what was I supposed to do?
There was no red curb.
67
00:02:10,664 --> 00:02:12,266
You can't park in either!
68
00:02:12,300 --> 00:02:13,601
My betrothed is a scofflaw!
69
00:02:13,634 --> 00:02:15,303
Calm down, Jane Austen.
70
00:02:15,336 --> 00:02:16,904
Campus parking tickets
don't count.
71
00:02:16,937 --> 00:02:18,038
ADULT ADAM:
Turns out, they did.
72
00:02:18,071 --> 00:02:19,807
Oh, no! Your car
has a boot on it!
73
00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:21,409
I can see that, Geoff!
74
00:02:21,442 --> 00:02:23,143
$300 to get a boot off?
75
00:02:23,177 --> 00:02:24,312
That can't be right.
It is.
76
00:02:24,345 --> 00:02:26,414
Your flagrant disregard
for vehicular statutes
77
00:02:26,447 --> 00:02:27,748
has rightly
caught up to you.
78
00:02:27,781 --> 00:02:28,816
Whose side are you on?
79
00:02:28,849 --> 00:02:29,983
Is it wrong to say justice?
80
00:02:30,017 --> 00:02:31,151
What the hell
am I looking at?
81
00:02:31,185 --> 00:02:32,886
Why is there
a metal thingy
on our car?
82
00:02:32,920 --> 00:02:33,954
It's a bummer
for you, dude.
83
00:02:33,987 --> 00:02:35,122
You got a bunch
of parking tickets
84
00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:36,890
and have to pay a steep fine
to get the boot off.
85
00:02:36,924 --> 00:02:38,292
It's quite a lesson.
But keep me posted.
86
00:02:38,326 --> 00:02:40,261
Damn it!
The details are foggy,
87
00:02:40,294 --> 00:02:41,929
but it tracks
with my careless nature.
88
00:02:41,962 --> 00:02:43,431
Do not pawn this off
on Barry.
89
00:02:43,464 --> 00:02:45,666
Erica fought the campus law,
and the campus law won.
90
00:02:45,699 --> 00:02:47,000
Almost like the song!
91
00:02:47,034 --> 00:02:49,102
(RATTLING)
92
00:02:49,136 --> 00:02:50,938
Ugh! The boot people
know what they're doing.
93
00:02:50,971 --> 00:02:53,641
Just relax.
I know how to fix this.
94
00:02:53,674 --> 00:02:55,443
Daddy, I need a new car.
95
00:02:55,476 --> 00:02:56,677
I don't know you.
96
00:02:56,710 --> 00:02:58,178
I'll swear to it
in a court of law.
97
00:02:58,212 --> 00:03:00,914
Fine. But then I need $500
to fix the old one.
98
00:03:00,948 --> 00:03:03,651
$500? What do you think,
I'm Wink Martindale?
99
00:03:03,684 --> 00:03:05,519
Is Wink Martindale
famously rich?
100
00:03:05,553 --> 00:03:08,456
That smiling bastard has
crazy Tic-Tac-Dough money.
101
00:03:08,489 --> 00:03:10,023
Then I guess
if we had to cut corners
102
00:03:10,057 --> 00:03:11,559
and our safety
wasn't important to you...
103
00:03:11,592 --> 00:03:13,361
It's not.
...then we could
fix it for $300.
104
00:03:13,394 --> 00:03:15,663
Damn it, fine!
What's wrong
with it, anyway?
105
00:03:15,696 --> 00:03:17,698
Oh, pfft, you know,
just the usual
106
00:03:17,731 --> 00:03:19,667
"I got too many parking
tickets and I got a boot put
on, and it's no big deal."
107
00:03:19,700 --> 00:03:21,535
A boot?
You heard that?
108
00:03:21,569 --> 00:03:23,337
You typically don't listen
to a word I say.
109
00:03:23,371 --> 00:03:25,105
When it comes to money,
I hear everything.
110
00:03:25,138 --> 00:03:27,408
I am not saving you
from that boot.
111
00:03:27,441 --> 00:03:29,209
You're gonna work it off
here in the store.
112
00:03:29,243 --> 00:03:31,679
Here? Blech!
Nobody really
works here, right?
113
00:03:31,712 --> 00:03:33,347
You do.
Starting now!
114
00:03:33,381 --> 00:03:36,216
ADULT ADAM:
So Erica had no choice
but to take the job.
115
00:03:36,250 --> 00:03:38,419
And turns out,
she was kind of a natural.
116
00:03:38,452 --> 00:03:41,322
The customers liked her
and liked buying from her
even more.
117
00:03:41,355 --> 00:03:43,291
She sold recliners,
sofa beds,
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00:03:43,324 --> 00:03:44,692
really anywhere
you could put your butt.
119
00:03:44,725 --> 00:03:47,060
Yep, she racked up the sales.
120
00:03:47,094 --> 00:03:49,430
She even sold stuff
no one knew the name of.
121
00:03:49,463 --> 00:03:51,865
What in the world
is a davenport?
122
00:03:51,899 --> 00:03:53,434
Oh, that's just
a fancy name
for a couch.
123
00:03:53,467 --> 00:03:54,568
But now
we can charge double.
124
00:03:54,602 --> 00:03:56,837
My little peanut
is a selling machine.
125
00:03:56,870 --> 00:03:57,905
What's your secret?
126
00:03:57,938 --> 00:04:00,508
Oh, I'm using a tried and true
sales technique...
127
00:04:00,541 --> 00:04:01,675
Being helpful.
128
00:04:01,709 --> 00:04:03,544
Hoo hoo!
Who would've thunk?
129
00:04:03,577 --> 00:04:05,513
Hey, this is for you.
You've earned it.
130
00:04:05,546 --> 00:04:06,714
Nine dollars?
131
00:04:06,747 --> 00:04:09,016
Three dollars an hour
for three hours.
Nine dollars.
132
00:04:09,049 --> 00:04:10,918
But it'll take me forever
to get that boot off.
133
00:04:10,951 --> 00:04:12,620
Also take these.
Keys? (SIGHS)
134
00:04:12,653 --> 00:04:14,622
Please say they're to a safe
with more money in it.
135
00:04:14,655 --> 00:04:15,723
No, they're
for the store.
136
00:04:15,756 --> 00:04:18,025
You did good work today.
I'm proud of you.
137
00:04:18,058 --> 00:04:20,961
Huh. Keys.
I've never gotten keys.
138
00:04:20,994 --> 00:04:23,163
When your
family's on vacation,
we just stay closed.
139
00:04:23,196 --> 00:04:24,732
Way to go, Erica!
140
00:04:24,765 --> 00:04:27,234
ADULT ADAM:
While my dad was teaching
Erica the value of a dollar,
141
00:04:27,267 --> 00:04:30,037
I was starting to realize
the real value of my bike.
142
00:04:30,070 --> 00:04:31,605
Look at this!
143
00:04:31,639 --> 00:04:33,507
Someone loves his new bike,
144
00:04:33,541 --> 00:04:35,776
and he loves the person
that gave it to him even more.
145
00:04:35,809 --> 00:04:37,578
That's your takeaway
from the boy
146
00:04:37,611 --> 00:04:39,713
rubbing the thing up
with a shammy?
147
00:04:39,747 --> 00:04:41,382
Oh, this is no shammy.
148
00:04:41,415 --> 00:04:43,216
This is a microfiber
cleaning cloth.
149
00:04:43,250 --> 00:04:44,918
It restores
a bike's natural luster
150
00:04:44,952 --> 00:04:48,356
without causing
what we in the paint game
call "impact crackle."
151
00:04:48,389 --> 00:04:50,424
What are you talking about?
I think he's cleaning it.
152
00:04:50,458 --> 00:04:52,125
Well, now that
it's all sparkly,
153
00:04:52,159 --> 00:04:54,395
why don't take it back out,
jump some puddles?
154
00:04:54,428 --> 00:04:56,229
Puddles?
No, no, no, no, no.
155
00:04:56,263 --> 00:04:58,799
It was a huge mistake
to ride it. Never again.
156
00:04:58,832 --> 00:05:00,100
Never again?
157
00:05:00,133 --> 00:05:03,737
But I saw your face,
you've never looked happier.
158
00:05:03,771 --> 00:05:05,806
But I wasn't considering
the harmful elements.
159
00:05:05,839 --> 00:05:08,942
We're talking fire,
water, earth.
160
00:05:08,976 --> 00:05:11,278
Not to mention
the deadliest
of all... Air.
161
00:05:11,311 --> 00:05:12,846
You're worried about air?
162
00:05:12,880 --> 00:05:17,418
Dust, smoke, dirt,
soot, unknown
particulates, pollen...
163
00:05:17,451 --> 00:05:19,553
That one's had a target
on my back for a while.
164
00:05:19,587 --> 00:05:20,954
But it's fun.
(BICYCLE BELL RINGS)
165
00:05:20,988 --> 00:05:22,022
(GASPS) Careful!
166
00:05:22,055 --> 00:05:24,658
The glands in your fingers
secrete harmful oils!
167
00:05:24,692 --> 00:05:25,826
Adam, it's a bike.
168
00:05:25,859 --> 00:05:27,895
I think you're being
a tad overprotective.
169
00:05:29,162 --> 00:05:30,464
The hell's that?
170
00:05:30,498 --> 00:05:32,165
It looks like
a see-through box.
171
00:05:32,199 --> 00:05:34,502
Good eye.
It's a protective
Lucite case.
172
00:05:34,535 --> 00:05:38,472
Ideally, I'd have it in what
the CDC calls a "clean room."
173
00:05:38,506 --> 00:05:41,274
But this'll have to do
until those paper pushers
call me back.
174
00:05:41,308 --> 00:05:43,276
But you have to ride it.
175
00:05:43,310 --> 00:05:45,178
And plus, it clogs up
the whole room.
176
00:05:45,212 --> 00:05:46,580
It doesn't leave a lot
of space for dancing,
177
00:05:46,614 --> 00:05:48,315
but at least I know
she's safe.
178
00:05:48,348 --> 00:05:49,450
Safe from what?
179
00:05:49,483 --> 00:05:50,951
I bought it for you
to play with,
180
00:05:50,984 --> 00:05:52,119
like all your other toys.
181
00:05:52,152 --> 00:05:54,522
But I am treating it
like all my other toys.
182
00:05:54,555 --> 00:05:55,623
Behold!
183
00:05:55,656 --> 00:05:57,024
(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS)
184
00:05:57,057 --> 00:06:01,194
Look at that.
All his Starboys and GI Jims
are in little prisons.
185
00:06:01,228 --> 00:06:03,330
You know it!
I'm off.
186
00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:04,598
No one touch
the thermostat.
187
00:06:04,632 --> 00:06:07,300
The best protection against
temperature is vigilance.
188
00:06:08,301 --> 00:06:10,037
When did he start
boxing up his toys
189
00:06:10,070 --> 00:06:11,672
like it's the world's
saddest museum?
190
00:06:11,705 --> 00:06:13,741
I guess he likes
looking at 'em now
191
00:06:13,774 --> 00:06:15,208
more than
playing with them.
192
00:06:15,242 --> 00:06:16,977
But he's my schmoo.
He loves to play.
193
00:06:17,010 --> 00:06:19,613
Bevy, no one stays
a kid forever.
194
00:06:19,647 --> 00:06:20,981
That's it!
195
00:06:21,014 --> 00:06:22,983
I'll make him stay
a kid forever!
196
00:06:23,016 --> 00:06:24,317
I'm not gonna stop you.
197
00:06:24,351 --> 00:06:26,319
I've learned
to conserve my energy.
198
00:06:26,353 --> 00:06:28,288
I'm not just
gonna give him
Pee-wee's bike.
199
00:06:28,321 --> 00:06:30,357
I'm gonna give him
the whole damn adventure!
200
00:06:30,390 --> 00:06:32,325
The rantings of a lunatic.
201
00:06:32,359 --> 00:06:33,393
But have a ball.
202
00:06:33,427 --> 00:06:35,629
Again, I'm tired.
203
00:06:35,663 --> 00:06:38,632
ADULT ADAM: And so,
in an effort to keep
my childlike wonder alive,
204
00:06:38,666 --> 00:06:41,635
my mom pulled a move straight
out of the Pee-wee playbook.
205
00:06:41,669 --> 00:06:43,704
(GASPS, SCREAMS)
206
00:06:43,737 --> 00:06:45,105
Somebody stole my bike!
207
00:06:45,138 --> 00:06:48,108
Oh, no! Who would commit
such a heinous act?
208
00:06:48,141 --> 00:06:50,043
Best guess,
a crazy person.
209
00:06:50,077 --> 00:06:52,480
We can't just sit here!
We gotta get it back!
210
00:06:52,513 --> 00:06:54,915
Yes, we do. Well, sounds like
we're in for an adventure.
211
00:06:55,783 --> 00:06:57,751
A big adventure.
212
00:06:57,785 --> 00:06:59,687
A Pee-wee's big adventure.
213
00:06:59,720 --> 00:07:01,388
That's a weird way
to put it, but sure!
214
00:07:01,421 --> 00:07:03,123
I'll go draw up
a list of suspects.
215
00:07:03,156 --> 00:07:04,692
Know what's suspect?
216
00:07:04,725 --> 00:07:06,059
Your parenting style.
217
00:07:06,093 --> 00:07:08,428
What mother steals
her son's bike?
218
00:07:08,462 --> 00:07:12,199
A mother who wants
her boy to relive
the magic of the movie.
219
00:07:12,232 --> 00:07:14,101
Once he experiences
that joy,
220
00:07:14,134 --> 00:07:15,969
he'll be certain
to jump on that bike again.
221
00:07:16,003 --> 00:07:18,271
I-I'm just gonna sit here.
(CHUCKLES)
222
00:07:18,305 --> 00:07:20,741
ADULT ADAM: While my mom
was tricking me into
being a kid again,
223
00:07:20,774 --> 00:07:23,511
living without a car
was proving to be
tricky for Barry.
224
00:07:23,544 --> 00:07:25,412
I can't ride
the bus anymore.
225
00:07:25,445 --> 00:07:26,980
Do you know
what kinda people
are on there?
226
00:07:27,014 --> 00:07:28,949
A delightful cross section
of our great city?
227
00:07:28,982 --> 00:07:31,284
It's a rolling caravan
of monsters!
228
00:07:31,318 --> 00:07:32,753
Oh, that's not
entirely fair, man.
229
00:07:32,786 --> 00:07:35,989
What's not fair is having
someone cough soup on you.
230
00:07:36,023 --> 00:07:37,625
So you're making friends.
Good for you.
231
00:07:37,658 --> 00:07:39,760
Don't! Okay?
You got our car booted,
232
00:07:39,793 --> 00:07:41,629
and now I have to
sit next to a lady
233
00:07:41,662 --> 00:07:44,331
with an animal in her lap
I don't even recognize.
234
00:07:44,364 --> 00:07:46,867
It has the qualities
of a squirrel
but the face of baby.
235
00:07:46,900 --> 00:07:48,936
That can't be real.
You want to know
what's real?
236
00:07:48,969 --> 00:07:53,541
A man with a unibrow
didn't break eye contact
with me for over an hour.
237
00:07:53,574 --> 00:07:55,308
"Why are you smiling, sir?
238
00:07:55,342 --> 00:07:57,110
"And where are you going
with all that fish?"
239
00:07:57,144 --> 00:07:58,746
We get it,
you're not a bus guy.
240
00:07:58,779 --> 00:08:00,981
But there's nothing
I can do about it at
three dollars an hour.
241
00:08:01,014 --> 00:08:03,150
I would kill
for three dollars an hour!
242
00:08:03,183 --> 00:08:05,986
You know I bust my ass
making latte foam art?
243
00:08:06,019 --> 00:08:07,788
And then the
coffee shop owner
Ryan comes in
244
00:08:07,821 --> 00:08:09,456
rocking a new pair of
British Knights every week.
245
00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:12,259
British Knights? The sporty
footwear of medieval royals?
246
00:08:12,292 --> 00:08:13,360
We should rob
this Ryan guy.
247
00:08:13,393 --> 00:08:15,195
Or we could open
our own coffee shop.
248
00:08:15,228 --> 00:08:17,631
Yes. We'll destroy Ryan
that way.
249
00:08:17,665 --> 00:08:19,466
Great. All we need now
are two things...
250
00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:20,734
Coffee and a shop.
251
00:08:20,768 --> 00:08:22,369
Well, we've got
the Ottoman Empire.
252
00:08:22,402 --> 00:08:24,304
Yeah, right, dummy.
Like Dad would ever let us.
253
00:08:24,337 --> 00:08:27,040
He'll never know. It'll be
an after-hours coffee shop.
254
00:08:27,074 --> 00:08:29,677
Oh, no! My lighthearted
attempt to be part
of the conversation
255
00:08:29,710 --> 00:08:31,178
is fueling Barry's
darkest instincts!
256
00:08:31,211 --> 00:08:33,446
Yeah, it is!
We'll have everything
we need...
257
00:08:33,480 --> 00:08:36,817
Couches, a coffee machine
in the break room,
and the keys.
258
00:08:36,850 --> 00:08:38,251
No way. Too risky.
259
00:08:38,285 --> 00:08:41,822
But it's the quickest way
to get the boot off
and me off the bus.
260
00:08:41,855 --> 00:08:43,390
People shave on there.
261
00:08:43,423 --> 00:08:44,592
And not just their faces.
262
00:08:44,625 --> 00:08:47,194
I'm kinda liking
this coffee shop idea.
263
00:08:47,227 --> 00:08:48,395
All right, fine.
264
00:08:48,428 --> 00:08:50,030
But we have
to be super careful about it
265
00:08:50,063 --> 00:08:51,331
and cover everything
in plastic and...
266
00:08:51,364 --> 00:08:52,633
Then it's decided!
267
00:08:52,666 --> 00:08:54,367
The Ottoman Empire
will become...
268
00:08:54,401 --> 00:08:55,636
The Empire Lounge!
269
00:08:55,669 --> 00:08:57,404
Wow. Where did all
these people come from?
270
00:08:57,437 --> 00:08:59,840
Who cares? We're making
money hand over fist.
271
00:08:59,873 --> 00:09:01,341
Pla-ding!
Pla-ding?
272
00:09:01,374 --> 00:09:02,710
Yeah, it's the cash
register sound.
273
00:09:02,743 --> 00:09:04,177
I think you mean
cha-ching.
274
00:09:04,211 --> 00:09:05,378
It's a good thing
you got your looks.
275
00:09:05,412 --> 00:09:06,980
Anyway... Pla-ding!
276
00:09:07,014 --> 00:09:09,382
$14?
This is just fanning money.
277
00:09:09,416 --> 00:09:10,483
Here's the rest.
278
00:09:10,517 --> 00:09:11,785
Holy crap! Pla-ding!
279
00:09:11,819 --> 00:09:13,086
Think of what
we can do with this!
280
00:09:13,120 --> 00:09:14,554
Yeah, like get
the boot off the car.
281
00:09:14,588 --> 00:09:17,224
Think bigger.
We can get two boots
off the car.
282
00:09:17,257 --> 00:09:19,192
ADULT ADAM: As Erica
had solved her car issues,
283
00:09:19,226 --> 00:09:21,629
I was about to solve
a case of my own.
284
00:09:21,662 --> 00:09:24,231
Exhibit A... A photograph
of the victims.
285
00:09:24,264 --> 00:09:26,099
My bike and me.
286
00:09:26,133 --> 00:09:28,035
Exhibit B...
Another photograph.
287
00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:29,169
What's wrong here?
288
00:09:29,202 --> 00:09:30,971
I'm not at home, making
dinner for my family?
289
00:09:31,004 --> 00:09:32,072
Aha!
290
00:09:32,105 --> 00:09:34,374
The first one to speak
always did it.
291
00:09:34,407 --> 00:09:36,543
Did what? I just came over
because Bev told me
292
00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:38,078
she was returning
my standing mixer.
293
00:09:38,111 --> 00:09:40,113
Ginzy, please.
That thing is long gone.
294
00:09:40,147 --> 00:09:42,282
(WHISPERING)
Is there something
you'd like to share
295
00:09:42,315 --> 00:09:43,751
with the rest of us,
Emmy Mirsky?
296
00:09:43,784 --> 00:09:45,152
I was wondering
what we're doing here.
297
00:09:45,185 --> 00:09:47,721
My bike was stolen!
And one of you did it!
298
00:09:47,755 --> 00:09:50,257
(WHISPERING) Yes!
This is going better than
I could've ever imagined.
299
00:09:50,290 --> 00:09:52,159
Let's review the facts.
300
00:09:52,192 --> 00:09:54,427
The thief had to have
access to my room
301
00:09:54,461 --> 00:09:56,096
and know all my movements.
302
00:09:56,129 --> 00:09:57,865
And they had the key
to the master lock
303
00:09:57,898 --> 00:10:00,167
that only me
and my mom possess.
304
00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:01,568
Just going out
on a limb here,
305
00:10:01,601 --> 00:10:03,203
but Beverly definitely
took your bike.
306
00:10:03,236 --> 00:10:04,772
That makes sense.
Yeah, I thought that
307
00:10:04,805 --> 00:10:06,373
before I even knew
what this was about.
308
00:10:06,406 --> 00:10:08,308
Mama!
Did you take my bike?
309
00:10:08,341 --> 00:10:09,409
It was Dave Kim!
310
00:10:09,442 --> 00:10:10,878
No, it wasn't!
311
00:10:10,911 --> 00:10:13,313
I saw it. He slipped
in through the chimney
like a turtlenecked Santa.
312
00:10:13,346 --> 00:10:15,783
Enough.
She did it, Adam!
313
00:10:15,816 --> 00:10:20,020
For some reason,
she wanted to give you
Pee-pee's big excursion.
314
00:10:20,053 --> 00:10:22,790
Fine! It was me!
But wasn't this fun?
315
00:10:22,823 --> 00:10:23,957
No.
Balls!
316
00:10:23,991 --> 00:10:26,626
I should have known!
Take me to my bike
now, woman!
317
00:10:26,660 --> 00:10:29,096
Well, it was right here,
and now it's not.
318
00:10:29,129 --> 00:10:30,731
Someone
actually stole it?
319
00:10:30,764 --> 00:10:32,332
Who would do
such a thing?
320
00:10:32,365 --> 00:10:34,134
And yes,
I see what I did there!
321
00:10:35,969 --> 00:10:37,570
ADULT ADAM: Hoping to
keep me a kid at heart,
322
00:10:37,604 --> 00:10:40,507
my mom had taken
My most prized possession,
my Pee-wee bike.
323
00:10:40,540 --> 00:10:42,042
But then someone
stole it for real.
324
00:10:42,075 --> 00:10:44,912
Schmoopy,
I know you're upset,
but I actually think
325
00:10:44,945 --> 00:10:47,114
this is a fun wrinkle
to our adventure.
326
00:10:47,147 --> 00:10:48,281
Fun wrinkle?
327
00:10:48,315 --> 00:10:51,284
This isn't something
you can slather
your Oil of Olay on!
328
00:10:51,318 --> 00:10:53,353
Our most valuable asset
is out in the world!
329
00:10:53,386 --> 00:10:55,956
And that's why
we're in the park...
To get it back.
330
00:10:55,989 --> 00:11:00,093
Surely, the filthy
BMX community will
champion your cause.
331
00:11:00,127 --> 00:11:01,361
Locals only.
332
00:11:01,394 --> 00:11:04,097
Johnny Atkins?
It's me. Adam Goldberg.
333
00:11:04,131 --> 00:11:05,799
I have pretty severe
face blindness.
334
00:11:05,833 --> 00:11:07,935
I have to stitch together
noises and shapes and...
335
00:11:07,968 --> 00:11:09,469
Hey, your hot mom.
336
00:11:09,502 --> 00:11:12,072
Hello, Jonathan.
Have you seen this bike?
337
00:11:12,105 --> 00:11:13,373
Looks familiar.
ADAM: It does?
338
00:11:13,406 --> 00:11:15,642
You know something,
don't you? Where is it?
339
00:11:15,675 --> 00:11:18,145
Yeah, I'm inclined to help you
find your Pee-wee bike,
340
00:11:18,178 --> 00:11:19,980
but I'm gonna need
a favor first.
341
00:11:20,013 --> 00:11:22,115
Name it.
You gotta do the Tequila
dance from the movie.
342
00:11:22,149 --> 00:11:24,017
What? No way.
Way.
343
00:11:24,051 --> 00:11:26,086
And I'm gonna
need your foxy mama
to do it, too.
344
00:11:26,119 --> 00:11:27,721
Oh, no!
We are not dancing for you!
345
00:11:27,755 --> 00:11:29,256
Come on.
It'll be fun, sweetie.
346
00:11:29,289 --> 00:11:32,325
And hey, look! I'm already
on the picnic table.
347
00:11:32,359 --> 00:11:33,827
Cheggit.
Your mom's on board.
348
00:11:33,861 --> 00:11:36,563
Better get up there, too,
or no bikey.
349
00:11:36,596 --> 00:11:38,498
(THE CHAMPS' TEQUILA PLAYS)
350
00:11:38,531 --> 00:11:41,168
**
351
00:11:57,918 --> 00:11:59,052
(LAUGHS)
352
00:12:02,255 --> 00:12:03,656
BEVERLY AND JOHNNY:
* Tequila! *
353
00:12:03,690 --> 00:12:06,226
(LAUGHS)
That was so much fun!
354
00:12:06,259 --> 00:12:08,161
Do you have
When a Man Loves a Woman?
355
00:12:08,195 --> 00:12:11,031
No more mother-son dancing.
Tell me where my bike is.
356
00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:12,900
Lemme think about it.
I swiped it.
357
00:12:12,933 --> 00:12:14,201
You? Why?
358
00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:17,537
I really liked it,
I didn't have it,
and so I took it.
359
00:12:17,570 --> 00:12:19,840
In hindsight, I'm not sure
I'm the hero in this story.
360
00:12:19,873 --> 00:12:22,209
Grand...theft...bicycle!
361
00:12:22,242 --> 00:12:23,710
I'm calling the cops, man!
362
00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:25,012
No need to involve
the cops,
363
00:12:25,045 --> 00:12:26,914
especially since I stole
the bike first.
364
00:12:26,947 --> 00:12:28,148
What don't we have
in common?
365
00:12:28,181 --> 00:12:30,150
But now just point us
to where the bike is.
366
00:12:30,183 --> 00:12:31,551
I guess
it's in that direction.
367
00:12:31,584 --> 00:12:34,721
But way past those trees and
there's, like, a bucolic glen
368
00:12:34,754 --> 00:12:36,689
where the light
dances on a pond.
369
00:12:36,723 --> 00:12:39,026
We're not
Hansel and Gretel!
Say the place!
370
00:12:39,059 --> 00:12:42,495
St. Vincent's. I felt guilty
I swiped it, so I unloaded it
on the nuns there.
371
00:12:42,529 --> 00:12:43,763
They need it more than me.
372
00:12:43,797 --> 00:12:45,232
Yeah, you know who
needs it more than them?
373
00:12:45,265 --> 00:12:47,367
Me!
The guy who owns it!
374
00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:50,971
Look at it this way, boopie,
the adventure continues.
375
00:12:51,004 --> 00:12:53,706
Does it continue?
Frickin' yay!
376
00:12:53,740 --> 00:12:55,175
Just get in the car!
377
00:12:55,208 --> 00:12:57,177
As I had a promising lead
on my wheels,
378
00:12:57,210 --> 00:12:59,813
Barry and Erica finally
got the boot off of theirs.
379
00:12:59,847 --> 00:13:01,949
Sweet relief.
We got our car back,
380
00:13:01,982 --> 00:13:03,783
and now I never have to
ride on a bus again.
381
00:13:03,817 --> 00:13:05,752
What's wrong
with the bus?
Oh, I don't know.
382
00:13:05,785 --> 00:13:06,954
Maybe 'cause
I went three stops
383
00:13:06,987 --> 00:13:08,288
as a stranger
brushed my hair.
384
00:13:08,321 --> 00:13:10,057
(SCOFFS)
385
00:13:10,090 --> 00:13:12,559
I gotta admit, using the store
worked out pretty well,
386
00:13:12,592 --> 00:13:13,894
and Dad
never had a clue.
387
00:13:13,927 --> 00:13:15,595
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Where do you
think you're going?
388
00:13:15,628 --> 00:13:17,197
The car's mine
for the next week
389
00:13:17,230 --> 00:13:18,365
to make up
for your boot time.
390
00:13:18,398 --> 00:13:20,133
But I gotta go quit
and give Dad his keys back.
391
00:13:20,167 --> 00:13:22,435
What? You can't quit!
We need those keys!
392
00:13:22,469 --> 00:13:24,304
Our lucrative business
is just taking off.
393
00:13:24,337 --> 00:13:26,306
Barry, the boot's gone.
We're done.
394
00:13:26,339 --> 00:13:28,641
Oh, we're just
getting started, baby.
395
00:13:28,675 --> 00:13:29,943
Baby?
(CHUCKLING) Yeah.
396
00:13:29,977 --> 00:13:32,012
That's the way nightlife
impresarios talk.
397
00:13:32,045 --> 00:13:34,281
They pepper
in "babies," "muffins,"
"pretty mamas,"
398
00:13:34,314 --> 00:13:36,116
and my personal favorite...
"Jennifer."
399
00:13:36,149 --> 00:13:37,217
What are you talking about?
400
00:13:37,250 --> 00:13:39,853
I'm talking about keeping
the coffee shop open.
401
00:13:39,887 --> 00:13:43,323
But instead, it's the Atlantic
seaboard's hottest nightclub.
402
00:13:43,356 --> 00:13:44,424
Absolutely not.
403
00:13:44,457 --> 00:13:46,426
This is Dad's livelihood
we're talking about.
404
00:13:46,459 --> 00:13:49,396
We made
more money than Dad
ever has in one day.
405
00:13:49,429 --> 00:13:50,597
I mean,
who doesn't like money?
406
00:13:50,630 --> 00:13:52,799
Ugly, stupid people
who can't buy stuff.
407
00:13:52,832 --> 00:13:55,802
But if you do this,
you'll be dripping in...
408
00:13:55,835 --> 00:13:57,137
Diamonds?
Better!
409
00:13:57,170 --> 00:13:59,472
Butter. When you're eating
lobster every night.
410
00:13:59,506 --> 00:14:01,574
Gross. I don't want buttery
lobster meat every night.
411
00:14:01,608 --> 00:14:05,145
Then perhaps you'll
like the finest timepieces
known to man.
412
00:14:05,178 --> 00:14:06,813
Swatch.
I already have
two of those.
413
00:14:06,846 --> 00:14:08,148
Ah, how would you
like 200?
414
00:14:08,181 --> 00:14:09,616
I wouldn't.
That's too many.
415
00:14:09,649 --> 00:14:11,484
You're absolutely terrible
at selling wealth.
416
00:14:11,518 --> 00:14:13,887
So we're doing it?
Fine. But just
one more night.
417
00:14:13,921 --> 00:14:15,455
And nothing can happen
to Dad's store.
418
00:14:15,488 --> 00:14:16,589
A reluctant "fine."
419
00:14:16,623 --> 00:14:18,825
What every business
partner wants to hear.
420
00:14:18,858 --> 00:14:20,860
Thanks again.
Come back soon.
421
00:14:20,894 --> 00:14:22,729
There's my
Employee of the Week!
422
00:14:22,762 --> 00:14:25,265
Wow, my 14-year streak
is over
423
00:14:25,298 --> 00:14:27,067
'cause your daughter
sold a table lamp.
424
00:14:27,100 --> 00:14:28,535
All good things
must come to an end.
425
00:14:28,568 --> 00:14:30,037
But what do you say you guys
shake a leg out of here
426
00:14:30,070 --> 00:14:31,338
and I'll do the rest?
VIC: Lovely.
427
00:14:31,371 --> 00:14:35,175
Nothing like having
a light shone on how
unessential I am.
428
00:14:35,208 --> 00:14:36,443
Toodle-oo!
429
00:14:36,476 --> 00:14:38,678
MURRAY: You're really doing
a number on Vic's noodle.
430
00:14:38,711 --> 00:14:40,880
But I gotta say
it's been great
having you here.
431
00:14:40,914 --> 00:14:42,882
Dad, you don't have
to say that.
I do.
432
00:14:42,916 --> 00:14:44,051
Since you've gone off
to college,
433
00:14:44,084 --> 00:14:46,153
we've barely spent
any time together.
434
00:14:46,186 --> 00:14:48,321
But I have to say,
it's been a joy seeing
435
00:14:48,355 --> 00:14:50,457
what a delightful
young woman
you've become.
436
00:14:50,490 --> 00:14:52,759
Wow. That's might be
the nicest thing you've
ever said to me.
437
00:14:52,792 --> 00:14:54,694
You sure you don't
want to call me
a moron or something?
438
00:14:54,727 --> 00:14:56,696
Why would I?
You're finally not one.
439
00:14:56,729 --> 00:14:58,165
(SMOOCHES)
440
00:14:58,198 --> 00:15:00,367
Damn it. That was
so warm and touching.
441
00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:01,701
It's almost like you care.
442
00:15:01,734 --> 00:15:03,370
Yeah,
I guess I almost do.
443
00:15:03,403 --> 00:15:05,939
ADULT ADAM:
As Erica was wondering
if she'd lost her way,
444
00:15:05,973 --> 00:15:08,641
I was headed down
the right path.
To church.
445
00:15:08,675 --> 00:15:10,177
(GASPS)
There she is!
446
00:15:10,210 --> 00:15:11,711
(HEAVENLY MUSIC PLAYS)
447
00:15:11,744 --> 00:15:13,313
Excuse me.
May I help you?
448
00:15:13,346 --> 00:15:15,415
Oh, it's okay, Sister.
That's my son's bike.
449
00:15:15,448 --> 00:15:18,485
Sorry, but once it's donated,
it's property of the parish.
450
00:15:18,518 --> 00:15:19,552
It's God's bike now.
451
00:15:19,586 --> 00:15:21,088
Well, does God
have a receipt?
452
00:15:21,121 --> 00:15:22,689
God needs no receipts.
453
00:15:22,722 --> 00:15:25,558
You know what?
You are a very mean lady.
454
00:15:25,592 --> 00:15:27,094
I know you are,
but what am I?
455
00:15:27,127 --> 00:15:28,361
ADAM: Just let me explain.
456
00:15:28,395 --> 00:15:30,397
See, my mom got me this bike,
then she stole it,
457
00:15:30,430 --> 00:15:31,831
and then someone
stole it from her,
458
00:15:31,864 --> 00:15:33,600
and then we did a wildly
embarrassing dance
459
00:15:33,633 --> 00:15:35,302
in front of a bunch
of BMX bikers.
460
00:15:35,335 --> 00:15:38,238
That brought us here.
You're messing with the
wrong sister, mister.
461
00:15:38,271 --> 00:15:39,506
Okay.
462
00:15:39,539 --> 00:15:41,774
In that moment,
I did something
I'm not proud of.
463
00:15:41,808 --> 00:15:43,243
Well, I'm kind of
proud of it.
464
00:15:43,276 --> 00:15:46,313
Yes, my little Pee-wee!
Ride! Ride like the wind!
465
00:15:46,346 --> 00:15:49,282
This is why we got the bike
in the first place!
466
00:15:49,316 --> 00:15:51,451
Don't root for me!
I'm still mad at you!
467
00:15:51,484 --> 00:15:54,887
And just like Pee-wee,
I was off to lead dozens
of authority figures
468
00:15:54,921 --> 00:15:56,589
on the most
epic chase ever!
469
00:15:58,491 --> 00:15:59,592
Or...not.
470
00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:00,893
BEVERLY:
Adam, are you okay?
471
00:16:00,927 --> 00:16:04,097
Let Mama's magical kisses
heal your broken bones.
472
00:16:04,131 --> 00:16:06,166
Get away from me!
You can't fix this!
473
00:16:06,199 --> 00:16:07,300
Look at my bike!
474
00:16:08,468 --> 00:16:09,636
I'm so sorry.
475
00:16:09,669 --> 00:16:11,271
Thanks
for the birthday gift.
476
00:16:11,304 --> 00:16:14,707
While my mom's big adventure
to keep me young at heart
was a big failure,
477
00:16:14,741 --> 00:16:17,277
the Empire Lounge
was turning into
a huge success.
478
00:16:17,310 --> 00:16:19,446
Holy crap!
This place is packed!
479
00:16:19,479 --> 00:16:21,348
I know. They're using throw
pillows to actually throw.
480
00:16:21,381 --> 00:16:24,351
Whoo! The Empire Lounge
is almost at full capacity.
481
00:16:24,384 --> 00:16:27,620
But don't worry.
Naked Rob is only letting
in nines and above.
482
00:16:27,654 --> 00:16:29,022
Barry, is that
a pencil mustache?
483
00:16:29,056 --> 00:16:30,357
I'm trying out
a new persona...
484
00:16:30,390 --> 00:16:33,893
I'm club owner
and Jai Alai enthusiast
Barry Mexico.
485
00:16:33,926 --> 00:16:35,328
What a fun
and lazy character name.
486
00:16:35,362 --> 00:16:36,763
Was it your first thought?
You know it!
487
00:16:36,796 --> 00:16:39,132
Barry Mexico
gets down to business.
488
00:16:39,166 --> 00:16:40,733
You need to get
all these people
out of here.
489
00:16:40,767 --> 00:16:42,102
They're all over
Dad's furniture.
490
00:16:42,135 --> 00:16:44,003
It's Cinco de Mayo
somewhere.
It's really not.
491
00:16:44,971 --> 00:16:46,439
(GASPS) Oh, no!
492
00:16:46,473 --> 00:16:49,109
Dad's shoddily made furniture
is falling apart.
493
00:16:49,142 --> 00:16:52,312
No, it's not!
It's affordable,
modern, and stylish!
494
00:16:52,345 --> 00:16:54,314
Damn it, I have pride
in this establishment!
495
00:16:54,347 --> 00:16:56,283
We're out of coffee.
And... "Not coffee."
496
00:16:56,316 --> 00:16:57,584
You're serving alcohol?
497
00:16:57,617 --> 00:16:59,752
Come on, you can't
have an illegal
after-hours nightclub
498
00:16:59,786 --> 00:17:01,020
without some hooch.
499
00:17:01,054 --> 00:17:03,390
We're all going to jail!
Where I will totally
snitch to survive!
500
00:17:03,423 --> 00:17:04,857
None of you are safe!
You all did it!
501
00:17:04,891 --> 00:17:06,959
Look what you did!
Geoff's a rat now!
502
00:17:06,993 --> 00:17:08,061
This couldn't get
any worse!
503
00:17:08,095 --> 00:17:09,329
What the hell's
going on here?
504
00:17:09,362 --> 00:17:10,763
And yet it did!
Aah!
505
00:17:10,797 --> 00:17:13,300
You two are in big trouble!
Especially you!
506
00:17:13,333 --> 00:17:14,667
Me? This was
Barry's idea!
507
00:17:14,701 --> 00:17:16,703
Who's Barry?
I'm Barry Mexico.
508
00:17:16,736 --> 00:17:18,405
You listened
to this moron?
509
00:17:18,438 --> 00:17:21,641
No, I gave you the keys.
You were responsible.
510
00:17:21,674 --> 00:17:23,076
Daddy...
Don't you "Daddy" me.
511
00:17:23,110 --> 00:17:25,245
I thought you'd grown up,
but I was wrong.
512
00:17:25,278 --> 00:17:28,748
You're still the same
moron that I always
thought you were.
513
00:17:32,018 --> 00:17:34,187
ADULT ADAM: To repair my bike
and our relationship,
514
00:17:34,221 --> 00:17:35,622
my mom turned to a pro.
515
00:17:35,655 --> 00:17:37,190
Thank you for coming,
Jonathan.
516
00:17:37,224 --> 00:17:39,792
I couldn't think
of another person
who could fix this.
517
00:17:39,826 --> 00:17:42,095
Damn. I thought it
was gonna be
a box of kittens,
518
00:17:42,129 --> 00:17:43,396
but that's
just a messed-up bike.
519
00:17:43,430 --> 00:17:45,064
And you're going to fix it.
520
00:17:45,098 --> 00:17:47,700
Since you stole it from me
after I stole it from Adam,
521
00:17:47,734 --> 00:17:49,169
who later stole it
from some nuns.
522
00:17:49,202 --> 00:17:50,903
What an unlikely journey.
523
00:17:50,937 --> 00:17:53,206
Sounds like Johnny's back
is against the wall.
524
00:17:53,240 --> 00:17:55,875
Lucky for you,
that's when I shine.
525
00:17:55,908 --> 00:17:57,110
Get me all
your husband's tools.
526
00:17:57,144 --> 00:17:59,546
He has none.
Get me all your neighbor's
husband's tools.
527
00:17:59,579 --> 00:18:01,748
ADULT ADAM: And so
Johnny got to work.
528
00:18:01,781 --> 00:18:04,584
My mom hoped that all that
welding, whacking, fusing,
529
00:18:04,617 --> 00:18:06,586
soldering, wrenching,
and different whacking
530
00:18:06,619 --> 00:18:09,389
would restore my birthday
gift to its true Pee-wee form.
531
00:18:09,422 --> 00:18:11,258
What the (BLEEP) is this?
It didn't.
532
00:18:11,291 --> 00:18:13,460
This came out way better
than I thought it would.
533
00:18:13,493 --> 00:18:14,794
This was a big mistake.
534
00:18:14,827 --> 00:18:17,464
The important thing is,
I tried my best
and had a good time.
535
00:18:17,497 --> 00:18:19,599
ADULT ADAM: With that,
my mom was out of options,
536
00:18:19,632 --> 00:18:22,101
except, of course, taking it
to an actual repair shop.
537
00:18:22,135 --> 00:18:23,470
BEVERLY:
Look what I got!
538
00:18:23,503 --> 00:18:26,173
The bike is fixed,
and so is our relationship.
539
00:18:26,206 --> 00:18:27,707
Yay! Everything's back
to the way it was.
540
00:18:27,740 --> 00:18:29,276
No. It isn't.
541
00:18:29,309 --> 00:18:31,711
My Pee-wee bike has been
completely rebuilt.
542
00:18:31,744 --> 00:18:32,912
It's worthless.
543
00:18:32,945 --> 00:18:34,414
Well, maybe
to some collector.
544
00:18:34,447 --> 00:18:36,283
But now
you can actually ride it.
545
00:18:36,316 --> 00:18:37,917
Why do you want me
to ride it so bad?
546
00:18:37,950 --> 00:18:41,020
Because it made me sad
that you don't play
with your toys anymore.
547
00:18:41,053 --> 00:18:42,655
They shouldn't
be locked away.
548
00:18:42,689 --> 00:18:44,624
You need to find your joy
for them again.
549
00:18:44,657 --> 00:18:46,259
You mean play with them
like a child?
550
00:18:46,293 --> 00:18:47,327
Mom, I'm not anymore.
551
00:18:47,360 --> 00:18:48,628
I know.
552
00:18:48,661 --> 00:18:50,230
But you're
growing up too fast.
553
00:18:50,263 --> 00:18:51,298
I mean, what is the hurry?
554
00:18:51,331 --> 00:18:52,499
Gah!
555
00:18:52,532 --> 00:18:54,667
I get it!
You never want me
to grow up!
556
00:18:54,701 --> 00:18:56,636
Fine. I'm struggling
with the fact
557
00:18:56,669 --> 00:18:58,638
that my youngest baby
is becoming a man.
558
00:18:58,671 --> 00:19:01,073
But it's also true
559
00:19:01,107 --> 00:19:03,109
that being an adult
is overrated.
560
00:19:04,177 --> 00:19:07,614
It's full of responsibility
and stress and worry.
561
00:19:07,647 --> 00:19:09,482
And you don't
need that yet.
562
00:19:09,516 --> 00:19:11,751
Mom, everyone
goes through this.
563
00:19:11,784 --> 00:19:12,819
I'm gonna be fine.
564
00:19:12,852 --> 00:19:14,354
I know you will.
565
00:19:14,387 --> 00:19:16,356
(THE PRIMITIVES' CRASH PLAYS)
566
00:19:16,389 --> 00:19:18,991
I just hope that no matter
how old you get,
567
00:19:19,025 --> 00:19:22,128
there will always be a part
of you that's still playful.
568
00:19:22,161 --> 00:19:24,664
Actually, before I crashed
into that truck,
569
00:19:24,697 --> 00:19:26,433
it was pretty great
riding this thing.
570
00:19:26,466 --> 00:19:29,068
Well, there's no reason
you can't feel that way again.
571
00:19:29,101 --> 00:19:33,273
* Here you go, way too fast
572
00:19:33,306 --> 00:19:35,775
* Don't slow down,
you're gonna crash
573
00:19:35,808 --> 00:19:36,976
Thanks, Mama.
574
00:19:37,009 --> 00:19:38,945
* Watch your step
575
00:19:38,978 --> 00:19:40,813
* Don't look out,
gonna break your neck
576
00:19:41,548 --> 00:19:42,549
You coming?
577
00:19:43,750 --> 00:19:45,552
ADULT ADAM: That's the thing
about growing up...
578
00:19:45,585 --> 00:19:47,520
It happens whether
you're ready or not.
579
00:19:47,554 --> 00:19:49,922
* So what do you want of me?
580
00:19:49,956 --> 00:19:52,024
* Got no words of sympathy
581
00:19:52,058 --> 00:19:53,125
What's this?
582
00:19:53,159 --> 00:19:54,894
I was here all night
cleaning up the mess I made.
583
00:19:55,428 --> 00:19:56,796
Dad, I am so sorry.
584
00:19:56,829 --> 00:19:59,966
I trashed your store,
and, even worse,
I broke your trust.
585
00:19:59,999 --> 00:20:02,001
That's not even
what really bothers me.
586
00:20:03,236 --> 00:20:05,672
I just liked spending
time with you.
It was nice.
587
00:20:05,705 --> 00:20:07,173
And I screwed it all up.
588
00:20:07,206 --> 00:20:08,808
Things can be fixed.
589
00:20:08,841 --> 00:20:12,645
Can they? Because
I'd really like to pay
for everything I broke.
590
00:20:12,679 --> 00:20:15,482
But, more importantly,
I'd like to fix us.
591
00:20:15,515 --> 00:20:17,284
That might take some time.
592
00:20:17,317 --> 00:20:18,518
I know.
593
00:20:18,551 --> 00:20:20,019
But I have some.
594
00:20:20,052 --> 00:20:21,954
Say, after class
every day?
595
00:20:21,988 --> 00:20:23,423
You still wanna work here?
596
00:20:23,456 --> 00:20:24,591
If you still want me.
597
00:20:24,624 --> 00:20:27,126
There are worse ways
to spend my day.
598
00:20:27,159 --> 00:20:30,563
* Na, na-na, na-na,
na, na-na, na-na *
599
00:20:30,597 --> 00:20:33,300
ADULT ADAM: Sometimes,
parents worry
we're never gonna grow up
600
00:20:33,333 --> 00:20:36,035
or that we're growing up
way too fast.
601
00:20:36,068 --> 00:20:39,038
But you can't just pump
the brakes on life.
602
00:20:39,071 --> 00:20:41,140
So if you're willing
to shift gears
603
00:20:41,173 --> 00:20:43,543
and trust the people
you love,
604
00:20:43,576 --> 00:20:46,413
every day
can be a big adventure.
605
00:20:46,446 --> 00:20:48,881
**
606
00:20:48,915 --> 00:20:51,718
(AS PEE-WEE HERMAN)
Hi! Hee ha ahh!
607
00:20:51,751 --> 00:20:54,387
My name is... Ahh!
Adam Goldberg!
608
00:20:54,421 --> 00:20:57,156
(BELL DINGS)
609
00:20:57,189 --> 00:20:58,291
(LAUGHS)
610
00:20:59,959 --> 00:21:02,529
Oh, my God,
I can't take it anymore!
Why?
611
00:21:02,562 --> 00:21:05,865
Since Dad took away the car,
I have to ride the bus!
612
00:21:05,898 --> 00:21:08,501
An old man showed me
the bruise on his back!
613
00:21:08,535 --> 00:21:10,202
It was like looking at
the inside of a pomegranate.
614
00:21:10,236 --> 00:21:11,438
That can't be right.
Ew!
615
00:21:11,471 --> 00:21:14,507
What's not right
is how much cooking
is done on there.
616
00:21:14,541 --> 00:21:16,909
I saw a guy heating up
a pot of eels.
617
00:21:16,943 --> 00:21:18,345
Eels?
Eels!
618
00:21:18,378 --> 00:21:20,212
And there's
so much fighting!
619
00:21:20,246 --> 00:21:22,715
An old woman clocked
the bus driver
620
00:21:22,749 --> 00:21:24,216
with a fraternity paddle!
621
00:21:24,250 --> 00:21:25,418
Who gave that to her?
622
00:21:25,452 --> 00:21:26,986
Barry, maybe you
just need to walk.
623
00:21:27,019 --> 00:21:29,489
Are you a crazy person?
My apartment's like
a mile from here.
47838
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