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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:26,886 --> 00:01:29,006 What's wrong with you? 2 00:01:30,490 --> 00:01:31,790 Sometimes I dream. 3 00:01:31,791 --> 00:01:33,351 Dream? About what? 4 00:01:36,262 --> 00:01:37,962 It's dark 5 00:01:39,466 --> 00:01:41,056 there's a woman crying. 6 00:01:43,436 --> 00:01:45,496 Do you wanna do it again? 7 00:01:47,107 --> 00:01:48,197 OK 8 00:01:54,247 --> 00:01:55,577 Phil! 9 00:01:59,953 --> 00:02:02,563 Aw! Sick. 10 00:04:31,504 --> 00:04:32,904 Still got it. 11 00:06:43,469 --> 00:06:44,899 Stay back. 12 00:06:48,975 --> 00:06:51,305 You, you killed him! 13 00:06:51,310 --> 00:06:52,470 Shut up. 14 00:07:07,593 --> 00:07:09,433 Who are you? 15 00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:13,159 Who was that large cocked man? 16 00:07:14,233 --> 00:07:17,003 That was no man. 17 00:07:17,470 --> 00:07:19,970 That was something far worse. 18 00:07:19,972 --> 00:07:21,412 What was it? 19 00:07:22,809 --> 00:07:25,109 How the hell are you still alive ? 20 00:07:25,111 --> 00:07:26,481 What are you talkin' about? 21 00:07:26,479 --> 00:07:27,909 The water! 22 00:07:29,916 --> 00:07:30,846 The water. 23 00:07:30,850 --> 00:07:31,720 What water? 24 00:07:31,717 --> 00:07:32,917 You don't know about the water? 25 00:07:37,123 --> 00:07:38,593 What are we gonna do? 26 00:07:38,591 --> 00:07:43,061 The first thing you gonna do is shut the fuck up and sit down. 27 00:07:43,062 --> 00:07:44,932 Let me think what we gonna do. 28 00:07:48,201 --> 00:07:50,001 Stay right here ladies. 29 00:09:17,189 --> 00:09:19,129 Who are you? 30 00:09:19,125 --> 00:09:21,415 Misandra 31 00:09:23,262 --> 00:09:25,732 They call me Phil 32 00:09:25,731 --> 00:09:28,731 Phil O'Ginny 33 00:09:28,734 --> 00:09:30,864 It's Irish. 34 00:09:31,737 --> 00:09:33,797 When did it happen? 35 00:09:36,742 --> 00:09:39,752 Twelve days ago 36 00:09:39,745 --> 00:09:42,075 Everything I ever loved... 37 00:09:42,081 --> 00:09:45,151 Everything anyone ever loved... 38 00:09:45,151 --> 00:09:47,351 It all went to hell. 39 00:10:41,607 --> 00:10:44,007 We are so in love 40 00:10:44,010 --> 00:10:45,510 To us, 41 00:10:45,511 --> 00:10:48,151 Fuck anybody who's not in love like we are 42 00:10:48,147 --> 00:10:49,777 Must be fags 43 00:10:49,782 --> 00:10:52,442 Total fuckin' queers 44 00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:09,470 Yield beast! 45 00:11:55,114 --> 00:11:56,514 Hey babe, 46 00:11:58,050 --> 00:12:00,220 Can you fix me a glass of water please? 47 00:12:00,219 --> 00:12:01,189 Of course. 48 00:12:01,187 --> 00:12:02,477 Thank you. 49 00:12:15,134 --> 00:12:16,434 Thanks babe. 50 00:12:16,702 --> 00:12:18,142 So how was your day? 51 00:12:18,137 --> 00:12:20,367 It was good, it was good. 52 00:12:20,372 --> 00:12:22,042 Hey you know that uh... 53 00:12:22,041 --> 00:12:24,811 that picture I have of you in my wallet? 54 00:12:24,810 --> 00:12:26,280 Yeah? 55 00:12:27,747 --> 00:12:31,117 I totally beat off to it during my lunch break. 56 00:13:10,623 --> 00:13:11,963 Ugh... 57 00:13:11,957 --> 00:13:13,487 What's wrong? 58 00:13:13,492 --> 00:13:18,002 I... I don't feel so good. 59 00:13:17,997 --> 00:13:19,757 I don't... 60 00:13:27,873 --> 00:13:29,973 I hate women! 61 00:14:31,704 --> 00:14:36,664 Ugh... I'm so fucking thirsty 62 00:14:37,610 --> 00:14:38,840 I'm almost out. 63 00:14:39,411 --> 00:14:41,151 I know of a well, 64 00:14:41,146 --> 00:14:42,816 It might be un-tainted. 65 00:14:42,815 --> 00:14:44,275 You can come with me... 66 00:14:44,283 --> 00:14:46,223 but you've gotta pull your weight. 67 00:14:46,218 --> 00:14:48,248 If all shit goes to hell, 68 00:14:48,254 --> 00:14:53,824 I will not hesitate to kill you and eat your dead body for sustenance. Understand? 69 00:14:54,493 --> 00:14:57,263 You'll eat my corpse if you have to... 70 00:14:57,263 --> 00:15:00,033 Good. Lets go. 71 00:15:16,649 --> 00:15:20,309 That nice-boobed girl! We have to help her. 72 00:15:26,258 --> 00:15:27,518 No! 73 00:15:29,361 --> 00:15:30,391 No! 74 00:15:30,963 --> 00:15:33,333 Nooooo! 75 00:15:33,332 --> 00:15:35,702 She was so hot! 76 00:15:35,701 --> 00:15:37,641 Damn you! 77 00:15:37,636 --> 00:15:39,256 You son of a bitch! 78 00:17:07,259 --> 00:17:09,249 Get some rest. 79 00:18:07,086 --> 00:18:08,446 Ah! 80 00:18:08,454 --> 00:18:11,084 Shut up Pussy! 81 00:18:20,065 --> 00:18:24,365 Fuck! I'm so fucked! 82 00:18:24,369 --> 00:18:28,499 How long until we get to that well you were talkin' about? 83 00:18:29,241 --> 00:18:31,371 Soon, maybe a day. 84 00:18:32,211 --> 00:18:35,671 I just really don't want to have to drink my own piss. 85 00:18:36,181 --> 00:18:39,081 I'm going to look for food, stay here. 86 00:19:12,784 --> 00:19:17,484 Phil? Phil O'Ginny? 87 00:19:18,290 --> 00:19:19,990 Mr. Johnson? 88 00:19:20,526 --> 00:19:23,156 They call me Houdini now. 89 00:19:23,162 --> 00:19:24,762 Who? 90 00:19:24,763 --> 00:19:26,593 Meet my crew! 91 00:19:26,832 --> 00:19:28,132 Browneye! 92 00:19:29,201 --> 00:19:30,901 Balloon Knot! 93 00:19:32,237 --> 00:19:33,527 Chili Dog! 94 00:19:34,673 --> 00:19:36,373 Suave Daddy! 95 00:19:37,543 --> 00:19:38,943 Pink Sock! 96 00:19:40,746 --> 00:19:43,736 and Alligator Fuckhouse! 97 00:19:46,218 --> 00:19:48,738 It's nice to meet you. 98 00:19:51,790 --> 00:19:57,560 I have proven my leadership abilities by excelling in various forms of hand to hand combat. 99 00:19:57,896 --> 00:20:00,166 This fist is legend. 100 00:20:00,165 --> 00:20:01,925 A legend in fisting! 101 00:20:01,934 --> 00:20:06,944 Yes. This fist has gotten me out of many tight jams, 102 00:20:06,939 --> 00:20:08,939 and into them, 103 00:20:08,941 --> 00:20:11,011 repeatedly, 104 00:20:11,009 --> 00:20:12,909 again and again. 105 00:20:12,911 --> 00:20:15,281 It is a good fist. 106 00:20:15,681 --> 00:20:19,791 So! How did a boy like Phil O'Ginny, 107 00:20:19,785 --> 00:20:22,145 never suited up a day in his life, 108 00:20:22,154 --> 00:20:25,624 possibly survive the end of society? 109 00:20:25,624 --> 00:20:27,634 Ironic isn't it? 110 00:20:27,626 --> 00:20:29,026 I guess 111 00:20:29,027 --> 00:20:32,197 Must of been luck that's kept you alive this long. 112 00:20:32,197 --> 00:20:34,867 Yeah? Well what about you? 113 00:20:34,866 --> 00:20:36,266 Me ? 114 00:20:39,705 --> 00:20:43,635 I've been training for this day my whole life. 115 00:21:10,636 --> 00:21:13,536 Broken hearts and lonely eyes 116 00:21:13,538 --> 00:21:16,678 are raining down from the empty skies 117 00:21:16,675 --> 00:21:20,075 I didn't see the imminent demise 118 00:21:20,078 --> 00:21:23,418 of our love once on the rise. 119 00:21:23,415 --> 00:21:26,615 Lightning striking in the depths of my soul 120 00:21:26,618 --> 00:21:30,218 cracking thunder waking ghosts of old 121 00:21:30,222 --> 00:21:33,362 now the thoughts of the love you sold 122 00:21:33,358 --> 00:21:36,018 are driving me crazy and taking hold. 123 00:21:37,529 --> 00:21:40,829 I tried to tell you 124 00:21:40,832 --> 00:21:43,342 but you didn't listen. 125 00:21:43,335 --> 00:21:47,165 You can only push it so far (that's what she said) 126 00:21:47,172 --> 00:21:49,572 I'll bury you in the sky. 127 00:21:51,610 --> 00:21:54,610 I fuckin' told you! 128 00:21:54,613 --> 00:21:57,453 I can be a mean man. 129 00:21:57,449 --> 00:22:01,349 You crossed me for the last time. 130 00:22:01,353 --> 00:22:07,293 Again, I'll bury in the sky! 131 00:22:46,465 --> 00:22:49,065 We'll meet 132 00:22:49,067 --> 00:22:53,227 within the shadows of love. 133 00:22:57,976 --> 00:23:00,076 Shirts and skins boys! 134 00:23:00,078 --> 00:23:03,818 Shits and skins... Hey Anderson take your shirt off! 135 00:23:03,815 --> 00:23:06,385 I said take it off! 136 00:23:06,385 --> 00:23:08,005 Mmmm! 137 00:23:08,987 --> 00:23:11,557 Mr. O'Ginny, 138 00:23:11,556 --> 00:23:14,316 n o uniform again. 139 00:23:15,293 --> 00:23:19,063 Do you know what grade you have in this class O'Ginny? 140 00:23:19,064 --> 00:23:21,874 You have a zero, 141 00:23:21,867 --> 00:23:25,597 a fucking zero. 142 00:23:25,604 --> 00:23:30,084 Do you have any idea how insanely pathetic that is? 143 00:23:30,075 --> 00:23:32,595 How many years you been held back now? 144 00:23:36,415 --> 00:23:39,675 What the fuck is wrong with you? 145 00:23:39,684 --> 00:23:43,144 Seriously, I wanna know. 146 00:23:46,024 --> 00:23:50,984 You are a limp-dick pathetic husk of a man! 147 00:23:53,498 --> 00:23:55,628 I just thought you should know that. 148 00:23:55,634 --> 00:23:58,904 Hey Anderson I swear to god you chubby fuck 149 00:23:58,904 --> 00:24:01,244 if you don't fix that corner 150 00:24:01,239 --> 00:24:04,699 I'm gonna fucking ram my fist up your ass! 151 00:24:12,951 --> 00:24:15,281 It's about time bitch! 152 00:24:22,794 --> 00:24:24,934 Are we gonna be alright Papa? 153 00:24:24,930 --> 00:24:28,430 It's ok son, we'll be alright. 154 00:24:28,433 --> 00:24:29,843 But I'm scared. 155 00:24:29,835 --> 00:24:31,235 I'm scared too, 156 00:24:31,236 --> 00:24:33,566 but don't worry, we'll get out of here 157 00:24:33,572 --> 00:24:36,172 You're mother didn't die just so we could be stuck in this... 158 00:24:38,276 --> 00:24:39,206 No! 159 00:24:39,211 --> 00:24:41,551 I have to get my son out of here! 160 00:24:41,546 --> 00:24:44,846 I have to get my son! 161 00:24:44,850 --> 00:24:45,980 No! 162 00:24:45,984 --> 00:24:47,324 Papa! 163 00:25:09,207 --> 00:25:11,877 Fuckin' stupid shit, 164 00:25:11,877 --> 00:25:15,477 God damn ridiculous fucking... shit. 165 00:25:15,480 --> 00:25:17,180 So did you like the movie ? 166 00:25:17,182 --> 00:25:18,782 No. 167 00:25:23,054 --> 00:25:24,664 What? 168 00:25:24,656 --> 00:25:27,456 Yeah. It's your fucking grandpa. 169 00:25:27,459 --> 00:25:29,229 I hate that asshole. 170 00:25:29,227 --> 00:25:30,787 Hello? 171 00:25:32,063 --> 00:25:36,433 Oh my god. Oh my god. 172 00:25:44,910 --> 00:25:48,110 What's wrong babe? 173 00:25:48,113 --> 00:25:49,943 Are you hurt? 174 00:25:50,949 --> 00:25:53,469 My grandma died. 175 00:25:58,890 --> 00:26:01,760 I loved her so much. 176 00:26:03,562 --> 00:26:05,792 So you're not hurt? 177 00:26:06,932 --> 00:26:09,272 No, why do you keep asking me that? 178 00:26:09,267 --> 00:26:12,197 I just want to make you feel better. 179 00:26:15,707 --> 00:26:18,607 But you're not... 180 00:26:18,610 --> 00:26:19,480 What? 181 00:26:19,477 --> 00:26:20,607 Hurt. 182 00:26:20,612 --> 00:26:24,052 No, what the hell is wrong with you? 183 00:26:24,049 --> 00:26:27,989 I know, I know what'll help. 184 00:26:29,454 --> 00:26:31,184 What are you doing? 185 00:26:31,957 --> 00:26:34,947 I'm gonna give you something to cry about. 186 00:26:35,727 --> 00:26:39,097 Don't worry, don't cry I promise it'll make you feel better 187 00:26:39,097 --> 00:26:40,067 I love you. 188 00:26:40,065 --> 00:26:42,185 Get the fuck away from me! 189 00:26:44,402 --> 00:26:45,372 Bitch! 190 00:26:45,370 --> 00:26:51,670 If I fucking give you something to cry about you won't have a reason to cry anymore. 191 00:26:59,584 --> 00:27:01,814 Daddy? 192 00:27:26,778 --> 00:27:28,908 Daddy. 193 00:27:31,282 --> 00:27:34,222 Are you hurt? 194 00:27:35,120 --> 00:27:37,650 Why are you crying? 195 00:27:44,863 --> 00:27:47,373 I'll give you something to cry about. 196 00:28:09,054 --> 00:28:10,824 Look a girl! 197 00:28:10,822 --> 00:28:11,982 Let's gang rape her! 198 00:28:12,824 --> 00:28:15,264 Woh woh woh, she's with me. 199 00:28:15,260 --> 00:28:18,300 You guys are joking right? 200 00:28:18,296 --> 00:28:20,226 Gang rape is not a joke. 201 00:28:20,231 --> 00:28:22,571 We take it very seriously. 202 00:28:22,567 --> 00:28:26,397 Have you ever gang-raped before? 203 00:28:27,472 --> 00:28:28,962 Out of this world... 204 00:28:29,708 --> 00:28:30,968 Houdini... 205 00:28:31,476 --> 00:28:34,776 You see Phil, there is no society anymore 206 00:28:34,779 --> 00:28:36,039 Gang rape's OK now. 207 00:28:36,247 --> 00:28:39,407 Back off! Back off bro! 208 00:28:39,918 --> 00:28:41,388 You know what you are man? 209 00:28:41,386 --> 00:28:44,986 You're a cock blocker, a filthy cock blocker. 210 00:28:44,989 --> 00:28:48,479 You're right, I am a cock blocker. 211 00:28:50,795 --> 00:28:54,355 I'm the best cock blocker that I know. 212 00:28:54,799 --> 00:28:57,099 And you know what? 213 00:28:58,503 --> 00:29:00,633 All your cocks 214 00:29:03,808 --> 00:29:05,868 just got blocked. 215 00:29:06,144 --> 00:29:08,614 Nobody blocks my cock! 216 00:29:30,502 --> 00:29:33,272 Shirts and skins boys 217 00:29:35,006 --> 00:29:37,596 Shirts and skins... 218 00:30:05,136 --> 00:30:09,156 It's just not an apocalypse without a circle of death! 219 00:31:34,626 --> 00:31:37,816 Who are you? 220 00:31:38,429 --> 00:31:42,729 They call me Ludas! 221 00:31:44,335 --> 00:31:47,095 I guess I should thank you. 222 00:31:48,106 --> 00:31:49,726 You could. 223 00:31:51,042 --> 00:31:52,612 Thanks. 224 00:31:52,610 --> 00:31:57,570 You are in need of water, come with me if you want to get it. 225 00:32:01,019 --> 00:32:04,049 Did you really need to rip off his face? 226 00:32:05,356 --> 00:32:08,156 Justice is cruelty and pain. 227 00:32:08,159 --> 00:32:10,789 I'm sorry if you don't like it! 228 00:32:13,932 --> 00:32:17,392 Well... to the water then? 229 00:32:18,403 --> 00:32:20,773 I guess I don't have a choice. 230 00:33:01,045 --> 00:33:06,005 This, is my friend's parent's basement. 231 00:33:12,090 --> 00:33:14,680 This place... 232 00:33:15,460 --> 00:33:20,420 This place has been my sanctuary and my savior. 233 00:33:21,199 --> 00:33:26,139 I lied. There is no water here. 234 00:33:26,137 --> 00:33:28,937 Only wine. 235 00:33:28,940 --> 00:33:33,900 This wine has nourished my body and drowned my soul. 236 00:33:34,779 --> 00:33:37,119 It is untainted. 237 00:33:37,115 --> 00:33:40,075 A gift from god perhaps. 238 00:33:40,818 --> 00:33:43,388 Life is a dark chasm, 239 00:33:43,388 --> 00:33:47,188 No hope, no light. 240 00:33:47,191 --> 00:33:52,201 In the world before it was easy with our distractions and laws, 241 00:33:52,196 --> 00:33:55,926 to think of the world as a good place. 242 00:33:56,868 --> 00:33:58,798 The truth, 243 00:33:58,803 --> 00:34:03,763 the truth is that the world is cold, dark, and loveless. 244 00:34:04,375 --> 00:34:06,865 I would have killed myself... 245 00:34:07,345 --> 00:34:12,305 had this wine not taken the edge off of my madness. 246 00:34:12,550 --> 00:34:15,580 The horror that I bore witness. 247 00:34:15,953 --> 00:34:22,133 That unfathomable, unknowable, illimitable, insidious... 248 00:34:22,126 --> 00:34:25,696 ultimate horror paralysis that I experienced, 249 00:34:25,696 --> 00:34:30,396 was truly of a hideous dream nature. 250 00:34:30,401 --> 00:34:34,601 Do you have any of that wine you were talking about eariler? 251 00:34:37,375 --> 00:34:38,835 Very well. 252 00:34:41,579 --> 00:34:46,539 Let us partake of this winey goodness. 253 00:34:48,619 --> 00:34:52,109 Let us not forget our sins. 254 00:35:02,100 --> 00:35:04,570 It is aged and good. 255 00:35:05,970 --> 00:35:07,060 Totally. 256 00:35:08,139 --> 00:35:11,769 And now my fellow travelers, 257 00:35:12,643 --> 00:35:16,443 I will tell you my story. 258 00:35:17,081 --> 00:35:18,351 I must. 259 00:35:18,349 --> 00:35:21,219 You will hear, you will hear and take heed. 260 00:35:22,019 --> 00:35:23,749 It all started... 261 00:35:23,754 --> 00:35:27,754 back when I had a face. 262 00:36:08,933 --> 00:36:11,243 So I've uh... 263 00:36:11,235 --> 00:36:14,905 been thinking about the future a little bit... 264 00:36:14,906 --> 00:36:17,366 Hey! Hey look at this bro. 265 00:36:18,943 --> 00:36:23,073 Holy shit, this is some great fucking work! 266 00:36:23,781 --> 00:36:25,581 We're close, 267 00:36:25,583 --> 00:36:27,313 very close. 268 00:36:31,355 --> 00:36:33,985 You never seise to amaze me my friend. 269 00:36:33,991 --> 00:36:35,931 Yeah, 270 00:36:38,162 --> 00:36:40,102 thanks, yeah. 271 00:36:48,172 --> 00:36:51,802 Fuck! Fucking gay pen. 272 00:36:52,343 --> 00:36:55,143 Here, use mine. 273 00:37:09,093 --> 00:37:11,333 Oh, is this a gel pen? 274 00:37:11,329 --> 00:37:12,299 Yeah. 275 00:37:12,296 --> 00:37:13,796 Gel pens are great. 276 00:37:13,798 --> 00:37:15,288 Yeah. 277 00:37:16,300 --> 00:37:17,860 Thanks. 278 00:37:33,484 --> 00:37:34,754 Dude. 279 00:37:35,152 --> 00:37:36,392 Yeah? 280 00:37:36,387 --> 00:37:38,417 When we're famous scientists, 281 00:37:38,422 --> 00:37:41,862 We are gonna get some mad fucking pussy. 282 00:37:43,194 --> 00:37:44,404 Really? 283 00:37:44,395 --> 00:37:46,455 Oh yeah, 284 00:37:46,464 --> 00:37:51,424 fucking girls will be like lining up in droves to suck our cocks. 285 00:37:51,802 --> 00:37:53,772 I don't know if that's true. 286 00:37:53,771 --> 00:37:55,571 I mean, 287 00:37:55,573 --> 00:37:58,173 how many girls want to suck your cock now? 288 00:38:00,845 --> 00:38:03,305 Uh, probably none. 289 00:38:03,981 --> 00:38:06,351 Maybe uh, Gina kinda likes me. 290 00:38:06,350 --> 00:38:08,350 Oh no, fuck that bitch. 291 00:38:08,352 --> 00:38:11,562 I'm talking about super hot bitches. 292 00:38:11,555 --> 00:38:15,555 Girls that really know how to suck a cock. 293 00:38:15,559 --> 00:38:18,129 I don't really know any women like that. 294 00:38:18,129 --> 00:38:19,689 You will, 295 00:38:20,865 --> 00:38:23,695 when we're rich and famous... 296 00:38:23,701 --> 00:38:27,471 it will be some serious, total... 297 00:38:27,471 --> 00:38:30,911 balls-to-the-wall cock sucking. 298 00:38:31,409 --> 00:38:33,599 It's just the way it is. 299 00:38:35,246 --> 00:38:38,346 Alright, I'm gonna do it. 300 00:38:38,349 --> 00:38:39,819 Are you ready? 301 00:38:39,817 --> 00:38:41,347 Yeah, yeah OK. 302 00:38:41,352 --> 00:38:42,392 Are you sure? 303 00:38:42,386 --> 00:38:44,616 This, this is gonna hurt. 304 00:38:44,622 --> 00:38:47,352 Nah no just a little... little tickle. 305 00:38:47,892 --> 00:38:49,382 Alright, OK. 306 00:38:51,562 --> 00:38:54,332 Alright, I'm gonna do it on three. 307 00:38:54,332 --> 00:38:55,962 One... 308 00:38:56,834 --> 00:38:58,394 Two... 309 00:38:58,636 --> 00:38:59,636 Alright I can't do this. 310 00:38:59,637 --> 00:39:01,307 No I'm not gonna do this. Never... 311 00:39:01,305 --> 00:39:03,165 What are you a fucking pussy? 312 00:39:03,174 --> 00:39:05,774 You wanna be a famous scientist? 313 00:39:09,080 --> 00:39:10,210 Yeah. 314 00:39:13,117 --> 00:39:15,637 You promise this isn't gonna hurt? 315 00:39:17,621 --> 00:39:19,711 I promise. 316 00:39:20,191 --> 00:39:22,161 Alright just do it. 317 00:39:24,161 --> 00:39:25,691 Just do it quick. 318 00:39:48,052 --> 00:39:52,112 First off I want to make sure that none of you are faggots. 319 00:39:53,591 --> 00:39:56,121 Are you a faggot? 320 00:39:56,927 --> 00:39:59,047 No? OK good. 321 00:39:59,363 --> 00:40:00,703 What do you have ? 322 00:40:00,698 --> 00:40:02,068 You see... 323 00:40:02,066 --> 00:40:07,466 we extracted the chemical from the male body that controls penis function. 324 00:40:08,272 --> 00:40:10,072 With it we can... 325 00:40:10,074 --> 00:40:13,214 stimulate the dick receptors inside the balls 326 00:40:13,210 --> 00:40:16,750 and therefore super-charge the cock itself. 327 00:40:16,747 --> 00:40:20,307 Astronomically increasing the subject's chances 328 00:40:22,219 --> 00:40:24,859 of getting his cock sucked. 329 00:40:24,855 --> 00:40:26,715 Here's our initial findings. 330 00:40:28,392 --> 00:40:32,502 Whow, that's amazing. 331 00:40:32,496 --> 00:40:33,556 I mean... 332 00:40:33,564 --> 00:40:36,364 I'm not saying I have a small dick or anything, cause I don't! 333 00:40:36,834 --> 00:40:39,894 But uh.. man, this is good. 334 00:40:40,638 --> 00:40:43,008 I have this friend, his name is Jim, 335 00:40:43,007 --> 00:40:46,537 Jim, Jim, lets call him that. 336 00:40:46,544 --> 00:40:48,614 Well he's got this litte tiny rod 337 00:40:48,612 --> 00:40:50,212 of a piece of shit dick that 338 00:40:50,214 --> 00:40:52,214 no woman would ever want to fuck! 339 00:40:53,350 --> 00:40:55,410 And he, I mean I, I mean he, fuck! 340 00:40:58,289 --> 00:40:59,659 He would love it, 341 00:40:59,657 --> 00:41:01,217 I'll give you the funding. 342 00:41:47,204 --> 00:41:51,704 That's us! That's our penis enhancer! 343 00:41:58,182 --> 00:42:02,782 I just wanted to let you know I accepted a job at Questor University 344 00:42:03,254 --> 00:42:05,724 It was a really good opportunity and... 345 00:42:05,723 --> 00:42:08,253 I can't be a lab assistant forever 346 00:42:12,496 --> 00:42:14,616 I just wanted to let you know. 347 00:42:17,067 --> 00:42:18,897 I won't forget you. 348 00:42:25,309 --> 00:42:27,069 Gina wait... 349 00:42:29,580 --> 00:42:31,610 Wait. 350 00:42:38,923 --> 00:42:43,883 Sure, yeah, go, that's good. 351 00:42:49,733 --> 00:42:53,543 You know I'm really starting to doubt your commitment to the project. 352 00:42:53,537 --> 00:42:56,007 I'm just saying theoretically, 353 00:42:56,006 --> 00:42:59,536 couldn't we just find a chick who would bang us both at the same time without 354 00:42:59,543 --> 00:43:01,853 actually having to be rich and famous. 355 00:43:01,845 --> 00:43:04,245 Like uh... like a skank or something. 356 00:43:04,248 --> 00:43:06,378 Everybody knows 357 00:43:06,383 --> 00:43:08,193 that the existential mysteries of life 358 00:43:08,185 --> 00:43:10,515 are revealed though material possessions 359 00:43:10,521 --> 00:43:12,461 and monetary gain. 360 00:43:12,823 --> 00:43:14,763 You fucking idiot! 361 00:43:15,492 --> 00:43:18,022 Sometimes you're so stupid. 362 00:43:25,536 --> 00:43:29,036 I'm sorry, I didn't mean that. 363 00:43:29,039 --> 00:43:31,339 Yeah, it's ok. 364 00:43:32,643 --> 00:43:33,743 Bro... 365 00:43:34,378 --> 00:43:35,608 Yeah? 366 00:43:38,148 --> 00:43:39,908 I love you. 367 00:43:42,019 --> 00:43:43,679 What was that? 368 00:43:44,588 --> 00:43:45,818 Drew? 369 00:43:46,457 --> 00:43:47,657 Drew are you down here ? 370 00:43:47,658 --> 00:43:48,688 No. 371 00:43:48,692 --> 00:43:50,062 Listen uh, Drew... 372 00:43:50,060 --> 00:43:52,460 were you and your friends messing around with my wine collection? 373 00:43:52,463 --> 00:43:53,833 No dad. 374 00:43:53,831 --> 00:43:58,901 You know how much I was looking forward to drinking that 1983 Campbell Farms Merlou. 375 00:43:58,902 --> 00:44:00,372 Fuck you. 376 00:44:00,371 --> 00:44:02,241 What have I told you about language son? 377 00:44:02,239 --> 00:44:03,069 Come on. 378 00:44:03,974 --> 00:44:05,464 So anyway... 379 00:44:06,210 --> 00:44:08,300 How are the experiments going? 380 00:44:08,946 --> 00:44:12,046 We're only on the verge of a major scientific break-though. 381 00:44:12,049 --> 00:44:13,449 Mmhmm... 382 00:44:14,451 --> 00:44:17,091 So you say all this stuff's gonna help me grow a bigger Johnson huh? 383 00:44:17,087 --> 00:44:19,757 No dad, you don't get any. 384 00:44:19,757 --> 00:44:21,387 Well I mean I've got a pretty good one now, 385 00:44:21,392 --> 00:44:22,492 but uh, 386 00:44:22,493 --> 00:44:25,603 I could stand to use another eight or nine inches right? 387 00:44:25,596 --> 00:44:26,696 Yeah... 388 00:44:26,697 --> 00:44:28,927 I mean who couldn't? Right son? 389 00:44:28,932 --> 00:44:29,632 But uh, 390 00:44:29,633 --> 00:44:31,443 when you guys get rich and famous, 391 00:44:31,435 --> 00:44:32,465 send over some of those hot ladies 392 00:44:32,469 --> 00:44:33,399 you're always talking about 393 00:44:33,404 --> 00:44:34,464 to your old man alright? 394 00:44:34,938 --> 00:44:39,508 You don't get any of my rich guy pussy when I'm rich, you're done with pussy. 395 00:44:39,510 --> 00:44:40,780 Oh come on son, 396 00:44:40,778 --> 00:44:42,868 now watch the language alright? 397 00:44:44,982 --> 00:44:45,642 No! 398 00:45:45,042 --> 00:45:47,442 We have to put a stop to Cockzantium. 399 00:45:47,444 --> 00:45:49,384 Oh really? 400 00:45:50,114 --> 00:45:52,254 I have a vision, 401 00:45:52,249 --> 00:45:55,909 a dream of what could be thanks to Cockzantium. 402 00:45:56,720 --> 00:46:00,660 And I'm not just stroking egos here boy we're creating a whole new world. 403 00:46:00,657 --> 00:46:03,927 A utopian society where all men are of equal value 404 00:46:03,927 --> 00:46:05,997 and all women will tremble before the 405 00:46:05,996 --> 00:46:09,796 might of our raging, throbbing, cockage. 406 00:46:10,634 --> 00:46:13,404 Collective bonerage. 407 00:46:14,304 --> 00:46:16,374 And all will be well, 408 00:46:16,373 --> 00:46:19,043 and everyones cock will be sucked! 409 00:46:19,042 --> 00:46:20,042 People are dying! 410 00:46:20,043 --> 00:46:21,083 We have to put a stop to it. 411 00:46:21,078 --> 00:46:23,268 No one's gonna stop anything ever again. 412 00:46:23,847 --> 00:46:26,107 I've seen what Cockzantium can do. 413 00:46:27,017 --> 00:46:30,207 We must thrust it upon every oraphus of society immediately. 414 00:46:30,687 --> 00:46:35,647 This remote will double penetrate Cockzantium into the water supply. 415 00:46:36,627 --> 00:46:38,757 Rendering huge boners, 416 00:46:38,762 --> 00:46:39,632 raging cocks... 417 00:46:39,630 --> 00:46:40,400 Don't you do it! 418 00:46:40,397 --> 00:46:41,267 But I must. 419 00:46:41,265 --> 00:46:42,155 You don't have to! 420 00:46:42,633 --> 00:46:45,643 I can't, but I will. 421 00:46:45,636 --> 00:46:46,966 Why? 422 00:46:47,504 --> 00:46:49,204 Because... 423 00:46:57,915 --> 00:47:00,435 I was too late. 424 00:47:15,065 --> 00:47:17,725 Hey this is Gina I'm not home right now 425 00:47:17,734 --> 00:47:19,604 so leave a message and I'll call you back, 426 00:47:19,603 --> 00:47:20,333 thanks. 427 00:47:21,839 --> 00:47:23,429 Hey gina, it's Ludas, 428 00:47:24,675 --> 00:47:26,865 I know we haven't talked in a while, 429 00:47:27,411 --> 00:47:29,911 I just wanted to call and check up on you 430 00:47:29,913 --> 00:47:31,513 see if you're doing good. 431 00:47:32,749 --> 00:47:35,119 and I wanted to say that uh... 432 00:47:37,120 --> 00:47:39,260 I just wanted to tell you, 433 00:47:39,256 --> 00:47:42,046 I just, I wanted to tell you that, 434 00:47:42,426 --> 00:47:43,956 that you're the most 435 00:47:43,961 --> 00:47:46,931 beautiful girl in the whole world. 436 00:47:47,397 --> 00:47:53,527 That I love you, I love you Gina, I love you. 437 00:47:54,538 --> 00:47:59,498 Donald, No! I love you! 438 00:48:13,657 --> 00:48:15,177 Oh my god! 439 00:48:16,593 --> 00:48:16,833 They did it, they poisoned the water! 440 00:48:16,827 --> 00:48:20,227 They did it, they poisoned the water! 441 00:48:23,700 --> 00:48:26,230 Who did it? Who tainted the water? 442 00:48:26,536 --> 00:48:29,706 It was me, I caused The Taint. 443 00:48:29,706 --> 00:48:31,066 We should kill him. 444 00:48:31,074 --> 00:48:32,714 You're a two faced snake! 445 00:48:32,709 --> 00:48:33,909 Double-crosser. 446 00:48:33,911 --> 00:48:36,051 You're gonna die two-face. 447 00:48:36,046 --> 00:48:39,276 Do you know how much piss I'm gonna have to drink because of you? 448 00:48:39,917 --> 00:48:41,937 His punishment should fit the crime. 449 00:48:46,456 --> 00:48:48,976 He can't be two-faced without a face. 450 00:50:53,850 --> 00:50:56,220 That is the end of my story. 451 00:50:57,120 --> 00:51:00,290 I caused The Taint 452 00:51:00,290 --> 00:51:03,730 Why didn't they fucking kill you you fucking lesbian? 453 00:51:03,727 --> 00:51:05,027 You fucking deserve to die 454 00:51:05,028 --> 00:51:06,898 You think I don't know that? 455 00:51:06,897 --> 00:51:09,397 I searched for a cure 456 00:51:09,399 --> 00:51:11,639 But you wouldn't like what I found 457 00:51:11,635 --> 00:51:14,035 My dreams are filled with terror 458 00:51:14,037 --> 00:51:17,167 What fills your dreams with dread, Phil? 459 00:51:18,408 --> 00:51:23,368 Nothing, nothing at all 460 00:52:53,637 --> 00:52:55,267 Anderson, what the fuck 461 00:52:55,272 --> 00:52:56,912 you chubby piece of shit 462 00:52:56,907 --> 00:52:58,667 keep your eye on the ball! 463 00:53:01,978 --> 00:53:03,998 So what've you got for me today O'Ginny? 464 00:53:09,352 --> 00:53:10,682 Wow. 465 00:53:11,655 --> 00:53:13,085 Do you know what I think of this? 466 00:53:13,823 --> 00:53:15,033 Do you know what I think of this 467 00:53:15,025 --> 00:53:16,685 note from your doctor? 468 00:53:24,367 --> 00:53:27,597 That's what I think of it you lazy bitch. 469 00:53:28,405 --> 00:53:29,235 Seriously, 470 00:53:30,640 --> 00:53:33,770 what the fuck is wrong with you O'Ginny? 471 00:53:35,345 --> 00:53:36,835 Gym, 472 00:53:42,719 --> 00:53:45,349 it just ain't my subject. 473 00:53:56,299 --> 00:53:58,389 Let's take a walk. 474 00:54:05,308 --> 00:54:07,008 Phil. 475 00:54:07,010 --> 00:54:08,170 Sandy. 476 00:54:08,979 --> 00:54:09,639 Oh, 477 00:54:10,513 --> 00:54:12,643 your shoes are looking good today. 478 00:54:13,450 --> 00:54:16,510 Phil, um, I need to talk to you. 479 00:54:17,988 --> 00:54:19,918 OK, what? 480 00:54:20,991 --> 00:54:22,931 Um, not here. 481 00:54:25,362 --> 00:54:26,292 Listen uh, 482 00:54:26,997 --> 00:54:28,757 I think you just gotta let it go babe. 483 00:54:30,100 --> 00:54:33,660 Phil we need to talk alone, now. 484 00:54:35,071 --> 00:54:38,071 Ugh, god. 485 00:54:38,074 --> 00:54:42,014 All you bitches, all of em, all the time. 486 00:54:42,012 --> 00:54:45,852 Always fuckin' giving me shit and... fuck. 487 00:54:46,650 --> 00:54:50,090 Ugh... god. 488 00:54:50,086 --> 00:54:51,886 Fine! 489 00:54:51,888 --> 00:54:53,978 Lets fuckin' uh... 490 00:54:55,225 --> 00:54:56,555 Lets go! 491 00:54:57,994 --> 00:54:59,764 Talk to you later. 492 00:55:07,671 --> 00:55:09,971 Um can we go to your house ? 493 00:55:11,374 --> 00:55:13,814 Sure, sure. 494 00:55:14,878 --> 00:55:18,278 Listen Sandy, we're over. 495 00:55:18,915 --> 00:55:22,145 We've been over for a long time now, 496 00:55:22,519 --> 00:55:24,709 but if you want, 497 00:55:25,088 --> 00:55:25,818 I'll fuck you. 498 00:55:26,022 --> 00:55:27,722 Shut up. 499 00:55:29,225 --> 00:55:30,275 I'm serious. 500 00:55:31,461 --> 00:55:33,291 Yeah, no thanks. 501 00:56:17,340 --> 00:56:21,210 So, Sandy, 502 00:56:21,211 --> 00:56:23,411 what is the big deal? 503 00:56:25,315 --> 00:56:27,645 What is this secret? 504 00:56:27,650 --> 00:56:28,690 You love me ? 505 00:56:34,591 --> 00:56:36,531 I'm pregnant. 506 00:56:37,861 --> 00:56:38,901 With what? 507 00:56:38,895 --> 00:56:40,985 Your baby asshole! 508 00:56:42,399 --> 00:56:43,729 But... 509 00:56:49,105 --> 00:56:51,195 We can still can still fuck right? 510 00:56:51,574 --> 00:56:52,944 Fuck you. 511 00:56:59,816 --> 00:57:00,776 Are you sure that it's? 512 00:57:00,784 --> 00:57:03,984 Some of us don't sleep around. 513 00:57:22,906 --> 00:57:24,336 I want an abortion. 514 00:57:25,475 --> 00:57:26,505 But, 515 00:57:26,509 --> 00:57:29,609 the government just made abortions illegal, 516 00:57:29,612 --> 00:57:31,982 how's that gonna work? 517 00:57:37,153 --> 00:57:38,753 You're gonna have to do it. 518 00:57:39,823 --> 00:57:41,193 I don't want to. 519 00:57:41,191 --> 00:57:43,331 You did this, you do it! 520 00:57:43,326 --> 00:57:45,786 This is such bullshit. 521 00:57:58,174 --> 00:58:01,744 OK, I'll do it. 522 00:58:03,746 --> 00:58:05,836 My dad gets home in two hours. 523 00:58:10,620 --> 00:58:13,250 Do you have any coat hangers? 524 00:58:24,501 --> 00:58:27,661 All plastic... fuck. 525 00:58:29,305 --> 00:58:32,135 What kind of a loser doesn't have metal coat hangers? 526 00:58:32,141 --> 00:58:34,011 Don't judge me. 527 00:58:36,446 --> 00:58:37,996 Oh wait... 528 00:58:44,420 --> 00:58:45,890 Alright go wash it off. 529 00:58:45,889 --> 00:58:48,289 What you think I got filthy coat hangers? 530 00:58:48,291 --> 00:58:51,261 Well if it's going in my pussy go wash it off. 531 00:58:56,599 --> 00:58:59,069 Make sure to use anti-bacterial soap. 532 00:58:59,702 --> 00:59:00,602 What? 533 00:59:00,970 --> 00:59:04,630 Make sure to use anti-bacterial soap. 534 00:59:05,008 --> 00:59:06,208 I don't have any. 535 00:59:06,209 --> 00:59:09,769 Ultra-Concentrated is gonna have to do. 536 00:59:17,787 --> 00:59:18,777 It's time. 537 00:59:45,949 --> 00:59:47,419 You know, 538 00:59:47,417 --> 00:59:50,107 I really believed me when you said you loved me. 539 00:59:52,455 --> 00:59:54,385 If it makes you feel any better, 540 00:59:55,458 --> 00:59:57,478 I believed me too. 541 01:00:10,907 --> 01:00:13,097 Oh sick. 542 01:00:20,249 --> 01:00:22,879 Where'd the condom go? 543 01:00:23,886 --> 01:00:25,416 We're all Misogynists. 544 01:00:25,421 --> 01:00:27,721 I love women, I love them. 545 01:00:27,724 --> 01:00:31,464 Men do two things exceedingly well, 546 01:00:31,761 --> 01:00:34,391 Busting a nut, and killing people. 547 01:00:35,365 --> 01:00:37,885 If you can't do one, you do the other, 548 01:00:38,201 --> 01:00:43,211 and if we're lucky we do both at the same time. 549 01:00:43,206 --> 01:00:47,036 It was my arrogance and my sin 550 01:00:47,043 --> 01:00:49,843 that brought this plague onto the earth. 551 01:00:50,113 --> 01:00:52,283 But it was here long before 552 01:00:52,281 --> 01:00:54,111 and will be here long after. 553 01:00:54,250 --> 01:00:56,340 We can't fight it, no. 554 01:00:57,153 --> 01:00:58,453 Not anymore. 555 01:00:58,454 --> 01:01:01,464 Phil, there's something I have to tell you. 556 01:01:01,457 --> 01:01:03,977 That wine we drank tonight, 557 01:01:05,228 --> 01:01:05,928 It's... 558 01:01:05,928 --> 01:01:06,758 tainted! 559 01:01:06,763 --> 01:01:07,493 No! 560 01:01:13,636 --> 01:01:15,396 I'm not a Misogynist. 561 01:01:17,940 --> 01:01:19,500 I'm not, I can't be. 562 01:01:19,909 --> 01:01:21,999 I don't crush women's heads with rocks. 563 01:01:23,146 --> 01:01:24,306 I can't. 564 01:01:27,116 --> 01:01:28,316 I won't. 565 01:01:28,317 --> 01:01:30,077 Oh god. 566 01:01:31,988 --> 01:01:34,178 You're not a Misogynist. 567 01:01:34,824 --> 01:01:38,064 You did what she wanted you to do. 568 01:01:38,861 --> 01:01:41,491 You're not like those monsters out there. 569 01:01:42,131 --> 01:01:45,431 But you will be, you will be. 570 01:01:46,836 --> 01:01:48,426 I will. 571 01:01:50,373 --> 01:01:54,483 How did you become such a cool and amazing woman? 572 01:01:54,477 --> 01:01:56,067 When I was a kid, 573 01:01:57,213 --> 01:02:00,923 My father told me, that I was just as smart, 574 01:02:00,917 --> 01:02:04,477 as strong and talented as any man. 575 01:02:05,555 --> 01:02:10,085 That I, as a woman, can be a statement. 576 01:02:10,093 --> 01:02:14,033 That my personality, my character 577 01:02:14,030 --> 01:02:18,990 Can be the solution to all sexual inequalities in American society 578 01:02:19,702 --> 01:02:22,542 That I, as I stand here 579 01:02:22,538 --> 01:02:26,738 can embody everything any woman could ever possibly achieve. 580 01:02:27,610 --> 01:02:28,940 You're right! 581 01:02:42,525 --> 01:02:46,015 You misogynistic son of a bitch. 582 01:04:43,946 --> 01:04:48,906 (Sad music) 583 01:09:26,061 --> 01:09:27,861 If you're tired of having a 584 01:09:27,863 --> 01:09:31,073 withered, shriveled, pathetic, tiny penis, 585 01:09:31,066 --> 01:09:32,666 cal your doctor today 586 01:09:32,668 --> 01:09:34,838 and ask him about Cockzantium 587 01:09:34,837 --> 01:09:37,697 It's about time you did something about your penis. 38366

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