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1
00:00:00,159 --> 00:00:01,658
[Theme music]
2
00:00:01,659 --> 00:00:03,135
[Thunder crashes]
[Cackling]
3
00:00:09,032 --> 00:00:11,584
[Whirring]
4
00:00:13,067 --> 00:00:14,686
[Whirring]
5
00:00:14,687 --> 00:00:16,860
Man: It's alive!
[Thunder rumbles]
6
00:00:24,032 --> 00:00:26,274
[Thunder crashes]
[Cackling]
7
00:00:26,308 --> 00:00:32,258
[music]
8
00:00:31,395 --> 00:00:34,538
sync & correction by f1nc0
~ Addic7ed.com ~
9
00:00:35,278 --> 00:00:38,650
- Leia, no!
- She's dead.
10
00:00:38,651 --> 00:00:42,616
[music]
11
00:00:42,651 --> 00:00:44,167
[Rock music]
12
00:00:44,168 --> 00:00:46,582
♪ Oh, no, she ain't dead yet ♪
13
00:00:46,616 --> 00:00:49,582
♪ It's super-space Leia ♪
14
00:00:49,616 --> 00:00:52,444
♪ Super-space Leia
taking on the Empire ♪
15
00:00:52,478 --> 00:00:54,098
[Clang!]
♪ I mean First Order ♪
16
00:00:54,099 --> 00:00:58,064
- What? How?
- The Force... I guess.
17
00:00:58,065 --> 00:01:00,996
♪ Oh, super-space Leia,
we brought her back to life ♪
18
00:01:01,030 --> 00:01:03,720
- ♪ Before we knew Carrie Fisher died ♪
- Wink, wink.
19
00:01:03,754 --> 00:01:06,727
♪ Rest in peace ♪
[Twinkle!]
20
00:01:06,961 --> 00:01:08,271
Now, Harry Potter,
21
00:01:08,272 --> 00:01:11,513
I shall finish what I started
all those years ago.
22
00:01:11,547 --> 00:01:15,823
- I shall... kill you.
- [Bleep] you.
23
00:01:15,858 --> 00:01:19,134
Man: This is terrible, one of the
worst catastrophes in the world!
24
00:01:19,168 --> 00:01:22,789
Oh, the humanity ... the
suffering right now before me!
25
00:01:22,823 --> 00:01:24,236
God, help us all!
26
00:01:24,237 --> 00:01:27,168
This is the worst blow job
I've ever received, and ...
27
00:01:27,203 --> 00:01:28,581
What's that?
Look behind me?
28
00:01:28,582 --> 00:01:30,547
Holy shit, a blimp!
29
00:01:30,582 --> 00:01:33,065
Look at me, Perseus.
What's the matter?
30
00:01:33,099 --> 00:01:35,754
Don't you like firm, scaly breasts?
31
00:01:35,789 --> 00:01:38,582
- Look at me, Perseus.
- They will not sway me, Medusa.
32
00:01:38,616 --> 00:01:39,753
Aaaah!
[Shing!]
33
00:01:39,754 --> 00:01:41,454
[Splat!]
34
00:01:41,961 --> 00:01:44,650
- Hello, sailor. Mmm.
- Huh?
35
00:01:44,651 --> 00:01:47,582
- Who are you?
- Call me Mandusa!
36
00:01:47,616 --> 00:01:50,030
I have a feeling you will not
look away from this.
37
00:01:50,065 --> 00:01:51,615
[Hisses]
38
00:01:51,616 --> 00:01:54,956
Oh, my gods, that is ama...
Oh, shit.
39
00:01:55,582 --> 00:01:58,394
Eh, I'll never find love.
[Groans]
40
00:01:59,754 --> 00:02:02,168
Man: Meet R'yan,
Barbie's new toxic boyfriend.
41
00:02:02,203 --> 00:02:03,684
Both: Wow!
42
00:02:03,685 --> 00:02:06,030
A passive-aggressive deejay
with nine years of debt
43
00:02:06,065 --> 00:02:07,996
from an unfinished
hotel-management degree.
44
00:02:08,030 --> 00:02:11,789
And an ADHD-medication addiction
he refuses to own up to.
45
00:02:11,823 --> 00:02:13,685
I can't wait to fix him!
46
00:02:13,720 --> 00:02:16,478
Ah, look, he's got a copy
of "Infinite Jest."
47
00:02:16,513 --> 00:02:18,582
He's read four pages and says
it's his favorite book.
48
00:02:18,616 --> 00:02:20,547
Man: R'yan also comes
with his own Feezys,
49
00:02:20,582 --> 00:02:22,720
turntables, and cracked iPhone 4.
50
00:02:22,754 --> 00:02:24,547
Aw, he ghosted me.
51
00:02:24,582 --> 00:02:26,754
Oh, nope, he's back
and he's asking for money.
52
00:02:26,789 --> 00:02:28,582
[Laughs]
This is fun!
53
00:02:28,616 --> 00:02:30,823
Man: Just pat him on the back
to stroke his ego
54
00:02:30,858 --> 00:02:33,030
and activate
his backhanded compliments.
55
00:02:33,065 --> 00:02:35,065
Ryan: You're the chubbiest girl
I would date.
56
00:02:35,099 --> 00:02:36,823
I love you ... when
you put in an effort.
57
00:02:36,858 --> 00:02:38,202
My dad's gonna hate him.
58
00:02:38,203 --> 00:02:40,444
Man, I gotta get back
to mining my crypto.
59
00:02:40,478 --> 00:02:42,237
Man: Eggshells to walk
on sold separately.
60
00:02:42,272 --> 00:02:46,237
Reporter: [Laughs] A local hillside
community got a real scare today
61
00:02:46,272 --> 00:02:48,789
when a bear wandered
into their backyard.
62
00:02:48,823 --> 00:02:52,099
Animal-control agents
quickly sprang into action.
63
00:02:52,134 --> 00:02:55,237
[Choking] An agency official tells us
the bear was unharmed
64
00:02:55,272 --> 00:02:59,119
and was safely relocated back
to Jellystone Park.
65
00:03:00,545 --> 00:03:02,103
Hmm.
66
00:03:02,237 --> 00:03:04,444
Mommy, my Hatchimal is hatching!
67
00:03:04,478 --> 00:03:05,857
You're gonna be a Hatchimommy!
68
00:03:05,858 --> 00:03:07,098
♪ Birthday, la, la! ♪
69
00:03:07,099 --> 00:03:08,650
♪ Happy, la, la! ♪
70
00:03:08,651 --> 00:03:11,892
- It's so beautiful!
- Ohh! [Squelching]
71
00:03:11,927 --> 00:03:13,961
Mommy, what's happening?
72
00:03:15,099 --> 00:03:17,203
Your Hatchimal was stillborn, Amy.
73
00:03:17,237 --> 00:03:19,616
Maybe if you pray harder next time ...
74
00:03:19,651 --> 00:03:20,857
- Bleh!
- No, it's alive.
75
00:03:20,858 --> 00:03:21,995
Hatchimal, bleh!
76
00:03:21,996 --> 00:03:24,753
- I don't want it.
- You brought it into the world.
77
00:03:24,754 --> 00:03:27,838
Now you will care for it.
[Cries]
78
00:03:28,823 --> 00:03:31,513
Man: Hatchimals ... you'll never
know what you'll hatch ...
79
00:03:31,547 --> 00:03:33,961
maybe a lifetime of regret.
80
00:03:33,996 --> 00:03:36,030
The person we're making over
lives in Australia
81
00:03:36,065 --> 00:03:37,650
in a single mom's basement.
82
00:03:37,651 --> 00:03:39,927
Bob is a closeted recluse
with a penchant
83
00:03:39,961 --> 00:03:42,927
for steampunk accoutrements
who isn't sure how to present
84
00:03:42,961 --> 00:03:44,650
on the rural Australian dating scene.
85
00:03:44,651 --> 00:03:45,891
Accoutre-yas!
86
00:03:45,892 --> 00:03:48,134
I'm horny already!
87
00:03:48,168 --> 00:03:51,065
Bob, we are here to take you
to the next level.
88
00:03:51,099 --> 00:03:53,961
Babadook!
89
00:03:53,996 --> 00:03:55,029
Just because you're living
in the basement
90
00:03:55,030 --> 00:03:56,754
doesn't mean you need
to live in the closet.
91
00:03:56,789 --> 00:03:59,444
We have got to get you
off the earthworm diet.
92
00:03:59,478 --> 00:04:02,444
And no one wants a boy
without a bed frame.
93
00:04:02,478 --> 00:04:03,581
You can bring me the boy?
94
00:04:03,582 --> 00:04:06,444
Babe, you're literally
gonna be swimming in boys.
95
00:04:06,478 --> 00:04:07,995
I'm just gonna give you
a bit of a trim here,
96
00:04:07,996 --> 00:04:10,754
and you're gonna feel like
a brand-new m-m...
97
00:04:10,789 --> 00:04:12,489
whatever you are.
98
00:04:13,134 --> 00:04:14,271
[Tink!]
99
00:04:14,272 --> 00:04:16,822
- Baba...
- Dook, honey! Yes!
100
00:04:16,823 --> 00:04:19,203
I get that you're making a, uh,
101
00:04:19,237 --> 00:04:21,444
statement
with the hat and the cape,
102
00:04:21,478 --> 00:04:23,789
but I'm wondering
if we can't find something
103
00:04:23,823 --> 00:04:25,523
a little more form-fitting.
104
00:04:27,662 --> 00:04:30,720
[music]
105
00:04:30,754 --> 00:04:31,788
Bring me the boy.
106
00:04:31,789 --> 00:04:33,858
Bob, growing up black
and gay in the South,
107
00:04:33,892 --> 00:04:35,789
I can relate with
your reluctance to come out,
108
00:04:35,823 --> 00:04:37,133
but honey, if you were a movie,
109
00:04:37,134 --> 00:04:40,134
Netflix would sort you
into the LGBT section.
110
00:04:40,168 --> 00:04:45,754
- Babadook.
- Mr. Bob A. Dook, this is your time.
111
00:04:45,789 --> 00:04:48,271
- What do you want?
- B-B-Bring me the boy.
112
00:04:48,272 --> 00:04:51,030
[Both crying]
113
00:04:51,065 --> 00:04:53,547
Man: Bob has a whole new
outlook on life. [music]
114
00:04:53,582 --> 00:04:54,926
With a studio apartment,
115
00:04:54,927 --> 00:04:56,858
a part-time job at Michaels Crafts,
116
00:04:56,892 --> 00:04:58,789
and learning how
to French tuck a shirt,
117
00:04:58,823 --> 00:05:02,168
the world is about to be
Babashook by his transformation.
118
00:05:02,203 --> 00:05:03,477
Bring me the boy.
119
00:05:03,478 --> 00:05:05,513
Aw, look at that ... making friends.
120
00:05:05,547 --> 00:05:08,065
[Keyboard clacking] Berkel,
the world needs Ethan Hunt.
121
00:05:08,099 --> 00:05:09,719
Are the mission specs
ready for delivery?
122
00:05:09,720 --> 00:05:11,996
Uh, yeah. Uh, I can just
e-mail them as PDF.
123
00:05:12,030 --> 00:05:13,754
PDF? Damn it, man!
124
00:05:13,789 --> 00:05:15,489
This is the Impossible Missions Force.
125
00:05:15,513 --> 00:05:18,753
- We do things with pizzazz!
- Pizzazz?
126
00:05:18,754 --> 00:05:20,927
Berkel, I want so much pizzazz,
127
00:05:20,961 --> 00:05:22,892
it blows his Goddamn dick off.
128
00:05:24,168 --> 00:05:25,868
Man's voice: Ethan Hunt,
here is your mission,
129
00:05:25,892 --> 00:05:27,133
should you choose to accept it.
130
00:05:27,134 --> 00:05:29,753
This blows.
They didn't even try.
131
00:05:29,754 --> 00:05:32,572
Don't be...
132
00:05:32,616 --> 00:05:33,857
- Whoa!
- Woman's voice: Hello.
133
00:05:33,858 --> 00:05:37,754
This is 21-time Oscar-nominee
Meryl Streep.
134
00:05:37,789 --> 00:05:39,582
Oh, my God, the Streepster!
135
00:05:39,616 --> 00:05:42,237
If the splinter cell gets
their hands on that plutonium,
136
00:05:42,272 --> 00:05:43,891
then the world goes, "Boom!"
137
00:05:43,892 --> 00:05:46,168
[Laughs]
I love this mission.
138
00:05:46,203 --> 00:05:52,190
This message will
self-destruct in 5, 4, 3, 2...
139
00:05:52,347 --> 00:05:54,754
[gunshot]
Mission box, nooooo!
140
00:05:54,789 --> 00:05:58,892
["Taps" plays]
141
00:05:58,927 --> 00:06:02,789
Man: Bring that beat back.
Don't be...
142
00:06:02,823 --> 00:06:04,996
[Air horn blares, club music]
143
00:06:05,030 --> 00:06:07,892
[Laughs] Yeah.
144
00:06:08,858 --> 00:06:12,030
- I really like you, Chloe.
- Kiss me, Trent.
145
00:06:12,065 --> 00:06:14,927
- Here I go.
- Hold on ... Cheeto fingers?
146
00:06:14,961 --> 00:06:17,203
- Huh?
- I am not getting another UTI
147
00:06:17,237 --> 00:06:19,134
from Cheeto dust, thank you.
148
00:06:19,168 --> 00:06:21,616
Man: Has this ever
happened to you?
149
00:06:21,651 --> 00:06:23,582
At a party, you're likely
to find Cheetos,
150
00:06:23,616 --> 00:06:25,547
jalapeño Doritos,
sea-salt Pringles,
151
00:06:25,582 --> 00:06:27,098
Flamin' Hots, and worse.
152
00:06:27,099 --> 00:06:29,203
When you snack,
you've made your fingers
153
00:06:29,237 --> 00:06:31,478
unfit for vaginal exploration
154
00:06:31,513 --> 00:06:33,858
before a woman
has even agreed to talk to you.
155
00:06:33,892 --> 00:06:36,823
Let a man with Fritos-chili-
cheese-corn-chip dust
156
00:06:36,858 --> 00:06:40,064
on his fingers rummage around
in my vagina? I don't think so.
157
00:06:40,065 --> 00:06:42,065
Man: If you want to snack and diddle,
158
00:06:42,099 --> 00:06:45,444
ask your party host to put out
a bowl of Cheetos for Her.
159
00:06:45,478 --> 00:06:49,099
Cheetos for Her is seasoned with
flavors her vagina will crave ...
160
00:06:49,134 --> 00:06:51,858
jasmine, sandalwood,
and raw garlic shavings
161
00:06:51,892 --> 00:06:53,754
for their anti-fungal properties.
162
00:06:53,789 --> 00:06:56,134
Ooh, is that Monistat 3?
163
00:06:56,168 --> 00:06:57,961
[music]
164
00:06:57,996 --> 00:06:58,822
Alright!
165
00:06:58,823 --> 00:07:01,858
Available in snack and party sizes.
166
00:07:01,892 --> 00:07:04,065
[Cat yowls]
Oh, no!
167
00:07:04,099 --> 00:07:06,927
I launched my cat into a tree
with a t-shirt cannon,
168
00:07:06,961 --> 00:07:08,789
an unpreventable tragedy!
169
00:07:08,823 --> 00:07:10,547
Is there anyone who can help?
170
00:07:10,582 --> 00:07:12,651
- Man: Kind of.
- The Super Friends?
171
00:07:12,685 --> 00:07:14,582
They're booked,
but there's another league.
172
00:07:14,616 --> 00:07:16,616
In the hall of treasured
Hollywood characters,
173
00:07:16,651 --> 00:07:18,996
there is a league that is
almost always available,
174
00:07:19,030 --> 00:07:21,927
a ragtag group of men
we once thought heroic,
175
00:07:21,961 --> 00:07:26,099
now problematic hires ...
The League of Predatory Men!
176
00:07:26,134 --> 00:07:27,546
There's V!
177
00:07:27,547 --> 00:07:29,823
I vexed a virtuous vixen
to veer her views,
178
00:07:29,858 --> 00:07:31,651
and then she fell in love
with me because...
179
00:07:31,685 --> 00:07:33,271
Stockholm syndrome.
180
00:07:33,272 --> 00:07:36,547
Man: The king of non-consent
himself ... Prince Phillip!
181
00:07:36,582 --> 00:07:37,822
[Laughs]
182
00:07:37,823 --> 00:07:40,823
Kiss, kiss.
Time to wake up. [Tink!]
183
00:07:40,858 --> 00:07:44,650
- Man: Edward Cullen from "Twilight!"
- Sparkle, sparkle.
184
00:07:44,651 --> 00:07:46,064
I'm 100 and you're 17,
185
00:07:46,065 --> 00:07:48,444
and I kind of want to murder you
or maybe marry you.
186
00:07:48,478 --> 00:07:49,650
Man: Pretty hot, right?
187
00:07:49,651 --> 00:07:52,099
And Farmer Ted from
"Sixteen Candles,"
188
00:07:52,134 --> 00:07:54,237
who probably raped a girl
at the end of that movie.
189
00:07:54,272 --> 00:07:57,452
According to geek law, I'm a hero!
190
00:07:58,030 --> 00:08:00,858
Oh, my God, it's the ...
Wait a second.
191
00:08:00,892 --> 00:08:03,582
Didn't you rape that girl
at the end of "Sixteen Candles?"
192
00:08:03,616 --> 00:08:05,616
Like I said, I'm a hero.
193
00:08:05,651 --> 00:08:07,892
[Siren wails, blows landing]
Hey, what the f... Aah! Oh!
194
00:08:07,927 --> 00:08:10,203
Okay.
[Cat meows]
195
00:08:10,237 --> 00:08:12,030
My cat's still up the tree!
196
00:08:12,065 --> 00:08:14,927
If I get the cat back,
you have to love me forever.
197
00:08:14,961 --> 00:08:17,168
If I am victorious, you must
vocally volunteer
198
00:08:17,203 --> 00:08:19,685
as my Valentine... vulva.
199
00:08:19,720 --> 00:08:21,685
Mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah!
Uh.
200
00:08:21,720 --> 00:08:23,720
Do you have any sleeping friends?
201
00:08:23,754 --> 00:08:25,996
Hey, I had a ladder in the garage.
202
00:08:26,030 --> 00:08:27,823
Turns out I don't need
any of you [bleep]ers.
203
00:08:27,858 --> 00:08:29,167
[gunshot]
Aah!
204
00:08:29,168 --> 00:08:31,099
This was your fault.
You made me do that.
205
00:08:31,134 --> 00:08:32,788
Victory!
206
00:08:32,789 --> 00:08:34,823
OMG, Offred, did you have
your first ceremony
207
00:08:34,858 --> 00:08:38,153
- with the commander last night?
- Yes. [Women giggling]
208
00:08:38,513 --> 00:08:41,134
We heard you had the ceremony
with your new handmaid.
209
00:08:41,168 --> 00:08:42,996
How was it?
210
00:08:43,030 --> 00:08:47,168
Come on, you don't want to hear
all the horny details. [music]
211
00:08:47,203 --> 00:08:50,168
♪ Gilead lovin',
and I had a blast ♪
212
00:08:50,203 --> 00:08:53,134
♪ Gilead lovin',
prayed it would end fast ♪
213
00:08:53,168 --> 00:08:56,754
♪ Got a handmaid
I'll get to bang ♪
214
00:08:56,789 --> 00:09:00,513
♪ Got a commander,
it's screw or hang ♪
215
00:09:00,667 --> 00:09:04,357
♪ Gilead days under his eye,
but oh, those ♪
216
00:09:04,392 --> 00:09:07,218
♪ Gilead
Those Gilead nights ♪
217
00:09:07,219 --> 00:09:09,943
♪ Uh, waka, uh, waka, hey! ♪
218
00:09:09,978 --> 00:09:13,288
♪ It's what God wants,
for us to hit it and split ♪
219
00:09:13,323 --> 00:09:16,185
♪ What God wants, for us
to all lose our clits ♪
220
00:09:16,219 --> 00:09:17,253
- ♪ Uh-huh
- Aw, sad ♪
221
00:09:17,354 --> 00:09:18,391
- ♪ Uh-huh
- Aw, sad ♪
222
00:09:18,492 --> 00:09:19,804
- ♪ Uh-huh
- Oh, so sad ♪
223
00:09:19,805 --> 00:09:22,357
♪ I'm just tryin' to find
my young daughter ♪
224
00:09:22,392 --> 00:09:26,012
♪ If she don't get knocked up,
I'll send her to slaughter ♪
225
00:09:26,047 --> 00:09:29,667
♪ I can't take much more
of this crazy ♪
226
00:09:29,702 --> 00:09:33,047
♪ At least they didn't snatch
up your baby ♪ Bye-bye!
227
00:09:33,081 --> 00:09:35,323
♪ Gilead flings come
with some strings ♪
228
00:09:35,357 --> 00:09:38,047
♪ But that's sex
when you're under his ♪
229
00:09:38,081 --> 00:09:39,770
♪ When you're under his eye ♪
230
00:09:39,771 --> 00:09:42,185
♪ Uh, waka, uh, waka, hey! ♪
231
00:09:42,219 --> 00:09:45,978
♪ It's what God wants,
trust in our expertise ♪
232
00:09:46,012 --> 00:09:48,736
♪ What God wants or die
in work colonies ♪
233
00:09:48,771 --> 00:09:49,808
- ♪ Rape me
- Good God ♪
234
00:09:49,909 --> 00:09:50,735
- ♪ Rape me
- Good God ♪
235
00:09:50,836 --> 00:09:51,942
- ♪ Rape me
- Good God ♪
236
00:09:51,943 --> 00:09:53,943
- ♪ Oh, no
- Oh, yeah ♪
237
00:09:53,978 --> 00:09:57,564
♪ After I banged her,
I went to bed ♪
238
00:09:57,598 --> 00:10:02,081
♪ Cried into a pillow
and wished I was dead ♪
239
00:10:02,116 --> 00:10:05,874
♪ I'd rather die than keep up
this fight ♪
240
00:10:05,909 --> 00:10:10,978
♪ Can't wait to do it
once more tonight ♪
241
00:10:11,012 --> 00:10:17,116
♪ Gilead dreams, it's not
all it seems, but oh, those Gilead ♪
242
00:10:17,150 --> 00:10:23,116
- ♪ Those Gilead nights
- Oooh ♪
243
00:10:23,150 --> 00:10:25,598
[Tires screech]
244
00:10:25,767 --> 00:10:27,462
Did I miss the song?
245
00:10:27,497 --> 00:10:28,092
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
246
00:10:28,193 --> 00:10:29,537
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
247
00:10:29,538 --> 00:10:31,504
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪
248
00:10:31,538 --> 00:10:32,782
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
249
00:10:32,883 --> 00:10:34,192
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
250
00:10:34,193 --> 00:10:35,641
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪
251
00:10:35,642 --> 00:10:36,641
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
252
00:10:36,742 --> 00:10:38,342
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
253
00:10:38,366 --> 00:10:40,124
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪
254
00:10:40,159 --> 00:10:42,510
- Ba-gawk!
- Bawk.
255
00:10:44,331 --> 00:10:47,572
Gosh, that blast took me
right out of the ship. C-razy.
256
00:10:47,573 --> 00:10:50,124
Hey, I didn't know Mon Calamari
could breathe in space ...
257
00:10:50,159 --> 00:10:52,469
must be our gills.
I think I'm gonna make it.
258
00:10:52,504 --> 00:10:54,204
I'm gonna be ... ooh,
Leia, hey. Oh! Wah!
259
00:10:54,228 --> 00:10:56,452
- ♪ It's super-space Leia ♪
- Ah, they'll find me.
260
00:10:58,574 --> 00:11:00,997
sync & correction by f1nc0
~ Addic7ed.com ~
20594
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