Original subtitles

In the year of our Lord, 1935, Guillaume Gaetan Donatien de Burlador,

the last descendent of the famous Don Juan de Seville,

an impenitent seducer like his ancestor,

grew tired of facing a vindictive God and the hatred of men,

and decided to end his days...

But his time had not yet come...

And this is what happened next...

HELL'S CAULDRON Suicide prohibited

Quit your barking!

We've been pitted against each other for centuries!

You don't scare me! You never have!

This time you've won, you doddering virgin!

They're all out for my blood! Husbands, fathers, brothers...

lovers! All usurping the right to the ownership of women!

As though women

could belong to anyone but the one who makes them come!

Because me, I know women!

You can check! 1,003 to date!

You can't match that can you, sexless old goat!

You who know nothing of kisses, fragrances, caresses...

of the mystery of women!

If I must die, it will be by my own hand!

Three little steps, you see? Straight to hell!

Down where it's hot, and where the women... are legion.

John Rolfinger?

A contract for one year?

Tickets for trains, boats and airplanes?

A separation...

an insurmountable heartache.

Dying for love...

What tripe!

Everything is clear now.

Man's finest work... is to endure!

THE PLEASURE OF LOVE

Hey pal!

- Don't forget your luggage. - Thank you!

Goodbye! Good luck.

Mr. Finger, I presume?

- No, not at all. - Excuse me.

No, wait! I'm his replacement.

- Is that so? And you're alone sir? - Of course. Who would I be with?

Miss Florence, Mr. Finger's future student

was supposed to be on the same airplane.

But this isn't the first time she's missed a connection.

If you would get in, sir,

we have a bit of a way to go.

My name is Tobias.

Are you comfortable, sir?

Yes, thank you Tobias, but it's so muggy!

Is there malaria in this country?

A little.

But rest assured: we'll look after you.

- Who were those soldiers? - Oh nothing, just the rebels...

Happens all the time.

I'd advise you not to go off into the forest alone.

But don't worry, sir.

I'm armed!

The Wild Orchids

The pleasure of love

only lasts a moment

But heartbreak

lasts a lifetime

Mr. Finger! What a joy to see you here!

I am Raphael. Welcome to The Wild Orchids!

No, no Raphael, This gentleman is not Mr. Finger,

he's here to replace Mr. Finger.

Already?

Look! Tobias, look.

How tall he is!

How handsome he is!

I'm so happy that you're here!

Leave the man alone.

Tomorrow I'll show you my creations.

If you would follow me.

Please wait a moment, sir.

Not bad.

Oh, what a handsome tutor! Oh, what a handsome tutor!

Thanks.

You're not bad yourself.

My god.

Tobias just told us that you claim to be Mr. Finger's replacement,

would you tell us what qualifies you to do so?

Mister...

Guillaume Ga�tan Donatien de Burlador.

Well, mister... de Burlador...

What happened to Mr. Finger?

- He's dead. - What?

Dead?

In his photos he looked so young! So full of life!

- How did he die? - He died of love... like a fool.

What? How can you die of love?

You fall from so high in these cases. He literally, how can I put...

lost his footing.

- He didn't suffer, at least? - No, no, he didn't have time.

But before he fell... I mean, before he...

passed away...

he had made me swear to replace him here with you. He was my godson.

And for family a promise is sacred... so here I am.

That's all very moving. And we are touched that you

came all the way here to keep an oath, but...

are you really qualified to

take the education of a young girl in hand?

But for years now I've been doing nothing but that!

The daughter of the Marshal of Saxony, sister of the governor of Les Invalides,

granddaughter of the police commissioner the cousin of the minister of the Navy,

The President's god-daughter... I could go on.

I was the one who trained and educated all of them.

Not to mention a few young peasant women, with whom, like Rousseau,

I experimented with several new pedagogical methods.

You have impressive references, but...

In a way you're in luck that the young Mr. Finger kicked the buck-

I mean, you're in luck that I... am his replacement,

- it's in the child's best interests. - Forgive us Mr. de Burlador,

but this is not your decision. Excuse us a moment.

Don't you find it strange

that a man of his age is applying for a job as a tutor?

A little.

But his story seems to hold up.

Mr. Finger did exist, at least he didn't make that up.

Then maybe he killed him! To take his place!

He could be a gangster!

How about Al Capone's nephew, while you're at it?

- You and your imagination! - But then he has no lack of it either.

Maybe a little too much.

As for his rigidity...

Just as long as he's not like the one from last year!

Who was that again?

Oh right, Paul! Oh my.

And then, we also need to consider how our little Florence would react.

For her, anyone would do the job.

Don't talk about your sister like that!

I want Flo to receive the finest education.

Like all of us.

Well, what is there to lose?

He seems to have good manners.

Not to mention that by the time we place an ad, the year will be a bust.

So?

So does he stay? Or go?

Shall we play?

Let's play.

A roll of the dice will never abolish chance.

There you go.

Well, we won't let it be said

that you came here to the antipodes for nothing.

We would like to propose a trial period at our discretion.

Welcome to The Wild Orchids.

- Well, I'd be thrilled. - I'm Doroth�e.

Here is Chlo�, my daughter.

My granddaughter, Jos�phine.

Here, everyone calls us Jo, Do and Clo.

- Of course, you will do the same. - In that case you can call me Willy.

Did I understand correctly that my student missed their flight?

The plane, the car or the ship,

she always misses something, the idiot!

Don't listen to her. Jo has always been jealous of her sister.

Florence, Flo as we call her,

will surely arrive on the next plane.

In fact, Tobias, don't forget to go pick her up.

I'm sure you must be tired after this long journey... Willy.

Tobias will show you your room.

Dinner is served at 9 o'clock, don't be late.

Of course, Mrs.

Miss!

Excuse me.

Oh, what a handsome tutor! Oh, what a handsome tutor!

It's true that he's not bad... the tutor's replacement.

Your personal bathroom.

Your accommodation.

It's a Maltese. Ms. Flo loved it.

Really! I find this object quite out of place in a bedroom!

- Please take it down, Tobias. - Oh no, sir.

Miss Flo would be too upset.

Then I'll take it down myself!

Miss Clo wouldn't like that at all.

We sometimes have power outages,

but the generator is a little out-of-date.

You can turn the fan on here.

- If you wont be needing anything else? - That will be all, thank you.

In your opinion, Which one should I start with?

You haven't a clue, you old ass!

But then neither do I.

At least not yet...

- Your towels, sir. - Thank you.

Tell me Raphael... Why are there three?

Let him who seeks continue until they find.

When they have found, they will marvel,

when they have marveled, they will reign,

and after they have reigned they will rest.

Your shower is ready sir!

- What are you doing? - Washing you sir.

I can wash myself very well on my own! Get out!

Oh really? Usually I'm the one who washes.

Sometimes you can be very strange.

- Are you sure? - Absolutely!

What a mess! Good thing Flo missed the plane!

She would have thought we never went here anymore!

Shall we change the sheets?

No, no, it's so clean!

It smells just like her.

In any case, what she wrote didn't exude holiness.

Leave that alone!

You know that Flo doesn't like us to read her journal!

It makes sense with all the awful things she wrote!

What awful things? She's only a child.

And that? Is that a child?

You know very well that that's a souvenir of her first affair.

- You did the same thing at her age? - Really?

You did!

Did we forget anything?

- Yes, her present! Where is it? - In the wardrobe.

At her age, no one gave me such nice presents.

Have you forgotten that at her age you caused a scene,

and wanted us to give you a copy of the Kamasutra!

- It wasn't even the complete version! - Of course, you were only 13!

I hope she'll like her new dress.

Another pointless expenditure!

- Just like the tutor! - What are you talking about, Jo?

You know very well that now if Flo doesn't have

someone who can really take her in hand,

we'll be off to an awful start.

Dinner is in an hour.

Let's make ourselves pretty for Mr. de Burlador.

Mr. de Burlador, I suppose?

I'm Doctor Cornelius.

Good evening

5, 6, 7, 8...

Perfect. Turn around, say 33, 33, 33...

- But I'm not sick! - Do you have your certificate?

- What certificate? - Mr. Finger mailed us his.

Open your mouth please.

Very good. Now, please sit over here.

Excellent reflexes!

And your gastric, urinary, hepatic,

and sexual functions: any problems?

- No. - Splendid! Then everything is in order.

Also, I'm sure that you play chess.

- Yes. - A dream come true!

A drink? As you say in Paris?

Thank you.

You are less young than Mr. Finger,

and I find you very friendly.

I can tell that we'll be good friends!

Well I certainly hope so, doctor.

You're the family doctor?

More than a doctor, almost a father. I delivered all of them.

Surely tonight I will have the honor of meeting the gentlemen.

- What gentlemen? - Well, the.. husbands of these ladies.

They have no husbands.

No husbands.

No fathers, no brothers?

How interesting.

Interesting, why?

Oh! No, what I mean is...

it can sometimes be interesting if there is a man in a family.

It can be useful.

But in this one, there are only women.

A remarkable genetic phenomenon.

And, then how do they...?

How do they what?

I mean, such a vast plantation...

Somebody must run it, no?

But we run it very well, Willy. Very, very well.

Let's eat!

- The ladies are served. - Good, I'm dying of hunger!

Flo will catch up. Come along, Willy?

Tell me whats happening in old Europe.

Can you believe that Adolf Hitler wants to annex Austria?

That's crazy!

The Pleasure of Love

Only lasts a moment

But heartbreak

Lasts a lifetime

That's completely wrong, Raphael!

Heartbreak

Only lasts a moment

The pleasure of love

Lasts a lifetime

Do you know the rest of that melody?

I left it all for that ungrateful Sylvie

She took another man

and left me behind.

As long as these waters

gently flow,

I'll love you,

Sylvie had said.

The waters still flow,

but she's changed her mind.

That's very nice. I didn't know the rest.

I have the honor of counting its authors amongst my ancestors.

Yes, and it's a strange coincidence, by the way...

Music by Martini on my mother's side, and words by Florian, on my father's,

so imagine, I know the song well!

My nanny always used to hum it to put me to sleep.

I'd like us to take a moment...

for my godson, the unfortunate John Rolfinger.

May he rest in peace.

And to your pleasant stay at The Wild Orchids!

Without wanting to be indiscrete,

my dear friend, what did you do in Europe?

What did you live off? Your teaching?

Oh, no.

Education was only for my own pleasure.

Gaining a living has never really been a problem for me.

A rather comfortable family income,

a book or two that earned me some notoriety.

I once even nearly had a Goncourt prize.

No way!

Me too, one day I'm also going to be a great writer!

In that case we'll have a lot to talk about together.

No doubt about it.

You're still far from understanding all the gifts

of these three ravishing goddesses.

For example, do you know that Do is a brilliant scientist?

- Don't listen to him, Willy. - She is!

Her studies on the metrics of space time

have even attracted the attention of professor Albert Einstein,

with whom she has a regular correspondence.

You know Willy, I'm only a modest apprentice.

Let's just say that now and then, by following an intuition,

I've understood certain things,

and I sketched out a hypothesis of quantum theories

that Albert... Einstein of course,

wanted to call "Do's principle."

But I must be boring you with my stories?

- Not at all! - Yes, yes.

We'll have plenty of time to talk about it later on.

As for Clo...

Oh me, I'm just pragmatic about things.

I make improvements, I repair, I do odd jobs.

More than that! Without her, this house wouldn't exist.

Plumbing, electricity, masonry,

She can do it all, she can repair everything!

Not to mention her photography skills! The most beautiful photos of animals

I've ever seen! She just goes up to them, like that.

Right in the mating season, when they're at their most fierce!

You would think she had hypnotized them.

But, are there wild animals on the island?

Yes, mostly felines. But they don't attack.

Unless they're very hungry.

I also made some photos of hummingbirds and orchids.

That's a little less ferocious. I can show them to you,

- if you want, Willy. - That's enough now!

Take this one, it suits you.

The biggest ones are the most tasty.

I'll do it all for you.

Ah, finally here's our little angel!

Miss Flo was not in the airplane,

but there was this telegram for you.

I'm sorry Willy.

- Your student won't arrive tonight. - What happened?

Read it, read it to us!

Compostela Pilgrimage, unforgettable, Stop,

but delayed return, Stop.

You don't say? She was at Compostela this year?

Uncle Urbain detained by the police, Stop.

Will take the next mail. All my love. Flo.

That doesn't surprise me from bishop! Always in the thick of things!

Still, I wonder what could have happened.

You know my brother.

- The usual thing. - What are you talking about?

Do's brother, the bishop. A funny kind of bishop!

He's rather eccentric, I admit.

Flo loves him!

She absolutely wanted to go with him on the Compostela Pilgrimage.

A little spiritual crisis.

It will pass. It's a problem of puberty.

We've all experienced that, haven't we, Willy?

Juvenile acne of the soul, yes. A temporary mutation, it's common.

- When will the next plane arrive? - Tomorrow, if there's no storm.

So in principle, she will be here tomorrow.

Jo, please ask Tobias to serve us coffee.

Be a dear and give this to Tobias.

Did you know that the Osirian year was composed of 13 months of 28 days?

Robert Graves' theory on the subject lines up exactly with my own.

Don't worry, Clo. With my tact and your sensitivity,

we will certainly achieve our goals.

Thank you for thinking of Flo, Willy.

Honestly, this child is causing me so many worries.

Hello, Raphael. These things are beautiful.

- What are they for? - Just for being beautiful!

If you can't see that what more do you need?

- Do they take long to make? - That's not up to me.

- On who then? - The others, Christ's sake!

Oh, right.

Yes, I see... I see.

I love this one.

But how do you expect me to do good work?

They don't give me enough cement!

Being a creator every day isn't easy.

Hi, Willy.

Mens Sana in corpore sano.

Let's go, Raphael.

- Will you come with us? - Gladly.

Do you know that last night I dreamt of you?

- Tell me about it. - I wouldn't dare.

Willy, are you perhaps trying to court me?

- Me? What a strange idea! - I prefer it like that.

Cornelius discovered these hot springs.

They're excellent for the circulation.

Hold this for me, please.

There you go!

That's enough now.

How delicious!

- You don't want to try? - No, thank you, another time.

- Perhaps, thank you. - As you wish.

Thank you, Raphael! You may leave now.

No, Willy...

Excuse me.

Not so hot.

Do you think Swallow will give us another loan?

Hello? It's a foreign call!

Hello, yes, Flo?

What are you still doing in Spain?

Have you forgotten your new tutor is waiting for you?

No it's not Mr. Finger, it's Mr. de Burlador.

Bur-la-dor!

No, no, he's very good, you'll see. Put on Uncle Urbain.

Why is he prison?

How can that be?

Arrested for hearing confessions from the soldiers?

Flo! Listen closely, these are not problems for someone your age.

You'll let him sort things out on his own.

I want you to leave today!

End of discussion! Come back right away!

No "buts," I said right away!

Soldiers, what an idea?

Compostela, Madrid, New York, Monkey Island...

She still won't be here for three days!

Even if she manages to catch the transatlantic seaplane, the idiot!

I'm sorry, Willy.

I guess you're stuck with our boring company for three days.

"Deceitful Sensuality, I followed your way through..."

"and maybe you've no clue..." No, that's no good!

No good. "And maybe there's no clue..."

"And maybe, O Virtue!" That's better...

"O Virtue, the riddle of life, was better solved by you."

solved by you...

Again?

I mean, really! Nothing works in this house!

"Deceitful Sensu..."

Having technical problems?

No, no.

Don't bother willy... With this heat...

I came to ask your advice.

I'm very worried, I feel a little lost.

I'm afraid for Flo.

She's so sensitive...

so... different.

This obsession with purity.

From the love of God... to the love of men...

the border is so delicate.

Isn't it?

Willy?

Are you listening to me?

What? Am I listening to you? Oh, Clo!

Ever since I saw you, a day or a century ago,

I've only thought of you! I've only dreamt of you!

Just when I thought I would be wounded and jaded forever,

when I had sworn I would never love again,

- all it took was one look from you... - No, Willy!

You're here to educate my daughter. It isn't right...

I beg of you Clo! Let me be close to you!

I'm down at your feet! I'll kiss your knees!

My dark eyes are mirrored in your sombre gaze!

Your hand on my head,

you tell me words that no one knows to put my words to sleep!

Hours become minutes and gush away...

- You've gone mad, my friend! - The fury of your animals,

as they mate, is nothing compared with the ecstasy

that, volcanic, my fuel tank will pour out towards you,

weeping!

Oh, Clo!

Diner is at nine. There will be guests.

Look your best.

Only for you, my dear.

Sunday: Clo: 3 times.

On Mount Ida, three goddesses had a fight.

Of us three, they said,

Who is the most beautiful sight?

Raphael, I need you to sew this button.

- Impossible. - Why?

It's not within my remit. Everything is there.

Listen, I can't see anything in this darkness,

would you be so kind as to open the curtain?

Never! The sun burns the silk!

You're shirt isn't silk though.

I hope you have another one for for special occasions.

- Do these ladies receive many visitors? - That depends.

What kind? Men?

- Men, women, everything. - And the fathers never come?

- What fathers? - Who owns the plantation?

Whoever is youngest.

- Do they make any money from it? - Plenty.

- How much? - Double.

- Double what? - Double everything.

And do you sell?

Sometimes we keep it, sometimes we sell,

sometimes we give it away, it depends on the year.

Now stop distracting me!

Evohe! These goddesses,

they cajole all the boys

Evohe! These goddesses

use such funny ploys!

Use such funny ploys...

Arthur Swallow, notary.

Burlador...

- Lovely house, eh? - Wonderful.

But someday it might have to change hands.

With all the mortgages they have on their backs!

- Mortgages? - Yeah, and they're this thick.

Have you known the ladies long?

No, I only just moved to the island.

And I'm planning to get to know them better!

Ok! I'll go down and join them.

Beautiful creatures, no?

I still haven't decided which one I will...

What a vile man!

Look how talented they are, our three Fates!

There you go, the three of us together can do anything!

Come on, Willy, The news is starting.

Here are the main headlines. War is raging in Ethiopia.

Secret meeting between Hitler and Mussolini.

7 military coups in South America.

Locally, the weather report predicts it will be a lovely season.

A lovely season, don't believe that. They're always wrong.

Let's hope it doesn't prevent Flo's return.

Clo, darling, pour me another little glass.

Make yourself at home, Willy.

Midnight, tonight?

What's gotten into you Mr. de Burlador?

Listen to me, I think there's been a slight misunderstanding.

We made love... I came... you came... we came...

The conjugation is nice but that doesn't give you any rights over me.

At all.

But Clo, I don't understand. This afternoon...

This afternoon was... this afternoon.

I'm not intruding, I hope?

My dear Arthur, you know I always have time for you

And anyway, shouldn't we discuss this little problem with the mortgage?

There's no hurry!

I'd rather talk about your beauty.

Tonight you're more gorgeous than ever!

I wouldn't have thought it possible,

and I would love to court you.

Well, go on then!

It's clear that the material spread across space is also in time...

- But it isn't easy to explain. - No, no, let's hear it!

Ok I'll try: Max Planck states

that energy exchanges are carried out by quantum.

This is in line with my theory of of the impulsive movement of time.

I sent him a letter on the subject

And do you know what Planck responded?

I give up!

If you don't mind, I won't be joining you this evening.

- Aren't you hungry? - Are you not feeling well?

That's it, not well. Not well at all.

Excuse me. Good night doctor.

Just a little fatigue, certainly.

You'll feel better tomorrow.

It often happens in the first few days, especially in our climate.

- Go get some rest, Willy my dear. - Good night.

Lightweight!

I'd rather dine with serpents and toads

than sit a table with a boor like that!

And her, she's a bitch! A bitch!

A bitch...

When I think that in this very spot...

All the same!

You'll pay for this!

Doctor, this Willy worries me.

Don't worry, a bit of a fast pulse after landing here

- is normal. - That's not what's bothering me.

Don't you think he has his eyes on one of them?

Seductive as they are, it's quite possible.

But which one, goddammit?

Could be all three.

What is it! Who's there?

I brought you your dinner.

You can't go without eating, Willy.

Eat this, Willy. It will give you strength.

It has a lot of phosphorous.

I'm sure that now you'll feel much better.

It's been centuries since I had such a lovely meal.

It's only just beginning, Willy my dear.

Is that so?

Try this.

Have mercy, give me a little time!

Time, Willy, cannot be given,

it can only take.

Time is a beast in the jungle, lying in wait,

impulsively leaping forward.

It is the master of space and it does what it wants with us.

It's from our garden, you'll never taste any better.

At first, Albert... professor Einstein, of course...

was very skeptical.

Did you also have him taste your asparagus?

Yes, that too, but I'm talking about my theory now.

Do's Principal, as he calls it.

You're a poet, you should understand us.

I have often found that I

am forced to repeat a given itinerary

within a short period of time,

completely against my own will,

at at least 24 hour intervals.

I was very troubled by this phenomenon...

Don't you like our asparagus any more?

...because it seemed to imply

a certain determinism, you know?

This necessity of following the same trajectory,

as though the original path had remained unclear,

and it had to be...

traced over with a pencil... to better define its features...

to fatalize them.

Willy?

What's wrong? You seem worried.

-What are you thinking about? - Time!

- About time? - Yes!

Because I also feel like a beast!

Lying in wait in the jungle! Ready to pounce on its prey!

- And if the prey tries to escape? - The beast, excited by the hunt,

would find his pleasure increased tenfold!

Ah! Do!

Ever since I saw you, I've thought only of you, dreamt only of you!

Hi Raphael, so, how's work going?

It's going.

How handsome you are!

And you too, Raphael, you are very...

Very interesting.

You should tell them

to give me more cement! They'll listen to you!

OK, I'll tell them, Raphael. I'll tell them...

Oh, hi Willy!

- Have a seat! - Thank you.

You seem well this morning.

This is Lino�, the baby of Amalthea, who watches over your dreams.

Flo loved her, she would only eat from her hands.

Poor Amalthea died in childbirth. Flo cried a lot.

- Well, tell me a bit about my student. - Flo?

She a very...

...very special person.

I'm not just jealous because she's 10 times prettier than me...

- That hardly seems possible! - It is! You'll see, she's ravishing.

But what worries me is that at 13, she could be so...

so grown-up about everything!

It's frightening how precocious she is!

There's a reason Clo and Do sent her abroad!

- Was it as bad as that? - You have no idea!

Before she arrives, I'll have you read her journal.

- She didn't take it with her? - No! Because of customs!

- Is it so terrible? - You'll see.

- Wouldn't it be indiscrete? - No, because you're her tutor!

Speaking of that!

Let's see how clever you are.

What do you think is the etymology of the word "dithyramb?"

- Umm... cat's got my tongue. - That's one way to put it!

"Dithyramb" comes from the Sumerian...

...which means:

"Song for the erection of the penis."

You didn't know?

No!

You really are very cultivated!

In any case, I know what a word means when I use it!

What do you mean by that, young lady?

"Love and Other Reveries", a poem by Guillaume de Burlador,

page 105, line 8:

"O, my lovely mistresses! My inner flames you fan

"O you, all of my troubles! O you, my dithyrambs!"

You dared to go into my room?

Am I the only one?

Listen to this, you old ass!

"For Do...

"The fever of your thighs, you merciless sorceress,

"is a mere warning sign of your terrifying embrace"

No... "intoxicating!"

That changes everything!

In-tox-i-Cate...

There...

I've finished! It's sublime! Sublime!

Oh, just a work from my youth. I was given a prize, in Toulouse,

the Jeux Floraux prize, but you know,

I've done much better since then.

Read me something recent, Willy.

I do love your voice.

As it happens, I just wrote this for you...

"For Jo..."

"The fever of your thighs, you merciless sorceress,

"is a mere warning sign of your terrifying embrace."

Excuse me, "intoxicating embrace..."

It's beautiful.

It's so beautiful...

I love you... Guillaume Ga�tan Donatien...

- Take me! - Let's see... Jo...

Since the moment I saw you, I knew I would be yours!

And I cheated with the dice to make sure you'd stay!

Oh, Jo, if your mother found out!

My mother an I are not the same!

Make love to me!

Well? What are we waiting for?

Oh, Jo!

4... 45...

6, 7... 48, 49, 50...

51, 52, 53...

- What are you doing here? - 54, 55...

- Measuring the land, as you can see. - It's not for sale!

Since, when? You're not the owner, as far as I know!

When did they make you an offer?

Listen, pal, that's really none of your business.

Perhaps more than you think!

Well, well!

- Do you want one? - No!

Too bad, it's very good.

Say...

You don't like me do you? What did I do?

I don't like your manners

Because I'm too direct! It's true, I am.

I like money, I earn it. I like women, I take them... Like that.

If you weren't such a snob,

you would get that putting on airs isn't worth the trouble.

Do you know I've been watching you for days?

So, between us... between men...

- Which one? - Excuse me?

You would have me believe that you haven't screwed any of them?

Well, which one?

You're a lout, Swallow. Get out of here this instant!

Listen, pal, we really shouldn't be fighting.

In fact, as far as this here, we're clear allies.

If you help me force them to sell, I won't forget it!

How does a 10% commission sound?

Not bad for a bit of pillow talk.

Just put IN a good word!

You get what I mean??

You fiend! Get out of here!

You're crazy!

Get out of here!

You better take the next plane for Europe, Burlador!

- You're no match for me! - We'll see!

Get lost!

Now!

10% who does he take me for? Scumbag!

Ah, Willy! Look at the moon, it's so beautiful!

Not now. I want to talk about Swallow.

I don't give a damn about Swallow!

Come here with me...

and drink a bit of moonlight in this wine.

Oh! Tobias, you're still up?

- I had a little craving for something. - Of course, sir.

- What can I get for you? - Oh, don't worry,

I'll serve myself.

It's you?

Good morning, Tobias.

No one's up yet? Ring the bell.

- We never ring it this early. - Well, ring it anyway, my friend!

Ah, and Tobias?

In the future, we would like you

to wear socks and shoes during service.

- Hello, Willy! - Good morning.

- Sleep well? - Yes, thank you.

Tobias made scones! Wonderful!

I'm hungry as a wolf!

Is it true that I have to wear these?

Never, where did you get that idea?

- To tell the truth it was my idea. - Really?

And it's not the only one, to bring a bit of style back to the house,

and the whole property, generally speaking.

We're all ears!

Here goes: perhaps it was a kind of inaction that prompted me...

- Inaction? - What's gotten into you this morning?

Go on Willy.

Seeing this estate in such a state of abandon, if I may...

Let's be frank! Your notary is on his merry-go-round,

circling the plantation like a vulture,

and I wanted to help you do without him.

- But we would gladly do without him! - Are you sure?

- Go on, Willy. - Well...

Simply put, I propose to draw some profit from the property.

Why not cultivate these abandoned fields?

With a lot of work, a better distribution of energy,

and a little investment...

the income would certainly be substantial.

Of course. But who will cultivate it?

Tobias and Raphael, of course.

Because frankly, between us, what do they do? Not much.

And I've been watching them.

Next, on the best land we'll raise livestock.

It's an activity where your feminine qualities will surely blossom.

Anyway!

For a few hours of work per day,

a bit more organized,

with a serious schedule and a bit less lazing about,

The estate would produce a substantial amount,

finally!

I was also thinking of the thermal baths.

Why not open them to the public, for a fee?

Why not lodge the spa clients in a part of the house, refurbished,

modernized and equipped? That's it! Simply put,

that's what you need to do to get out of this ruin

and back to prosperity. You need to Prof-it-ize!

- And after that? - What do you mean after that?

Yes. After that?

Well, after that,

this well-placed money would bring you a comfortable annuity.

And after that?

And after and after! After that you can do what you want!

- Nothing, if you like! - But... isn't that what we do now?

I find you very selfish! What about Flo?

Did you think of Flo?

What will be left when all this is dilapidated?

She'll take what's there. Like we took what was left.

Sorry Willy, but...

your idea seems really incongruous.

- That's your advice, not mine! - And it's our property, not yours.

You're right, after all, it's your money.

Speaking of money, I almost forgot. Your fees.

But I don't need any money!

At least wait until my student gets here!

Willy, any effort deserves a salary.

And balanced books make for good friends!

We agreed on $1000 with your godson.

- Do you still agree? - As you wish, I don't care.

- Please count it. - No need, I trust you.

Then I'll count it!

100, 200, 300, 400, 500,

600, 700, 800, 900

and 1000! There you go!

Now everything is clear.

We need to hurry, Flo will be here in 2 hours.

Tobias already went to get her.

The world's gone upside down!

Being given money by the women you seduce!

And if they knew that all three of them...

Come quick before she gets here! You have to read her diary!

- A diary? - It's serious, you need to know!

Here, listen to this!

"I still remember the feeling that struck me

"when I saw the vision of our Lord's body, almost naked.

"His tensed muscles, his virile profile...

"even the blood in his wounds awakened a strange shiver inside me.

"I want him! I want to be his slave,

"his mad Virgin, his devilish wife and his divine mistress.

"The emotion makes me wet. Everywhere."

Now do you believe me?

- She really wrote that? - Oh no! Afterwards it's too obscene!

Unbelievable! 13 years old is still a child!

And what about this? Is that a child or a woman?

I also want it!

Don't move!

- Voila! - She's here!

There was no one at the airport!

But this came for you by airmail.

This brat is starting to annoy me!

I gave her an order to come back! She should obey me.

She'll come back with a police escort, if need be!

Calm down, please. She'll come back, if I have to go and get her myself!

At the same time, let's at least see what she's up to.

Here, dear. Read us your daughter's letter.

- Well? - Still going on about your brother.

The bishop! She is really naive, sometimes!

Listen to this:

"There is no justice in this world.

"What wrong is there in evangelizing to soldiers,

"at night, in a hotel room?

"What is Uncle Urbain guilty of?

"It's true you could hear them cry out, but isn't flagellation

"part of the mortification of the flesh?

"In the morning he was exhausted, the saint.

"Gladly, Uncle Urbain has friends somewhere, and his stay in prison

"only lasted two days. Here, in Grenada..."

- What is she doing in Grenada? - You'll see!

"Here, in Grenada,

"where fled to escape the journalists,

"it's a catastrophe!

"Uncle Urbain is like a zombie...

"wandering through the Moorish gardens,

"unshaven,

"crying his eyes out,

"holding a soldier's beret

"against his heart.."!

Read it for me, please!

"When I manage to bring him back to the hotel,

"he throws all his clothes out the window and drinks all day,

"stretched out naked on his bed,

dead drunk, refusing to eat or clean himself.

"To top it all off, he fouls himself in the bed,

"and I had to buy a large sponge to clean him.

"Rest assured that the spectacle

"of Uncle Urbain's shriveled anatomy covered with excrement

"does little to thrill the imagination of a young girl,

"even if he has an organ blessed by our Lord."

- It's no time for that! - I don't find that funny at all!

Do you realize the danger she's in with this degenerate?

Degenerate? Are you against homosexuality?

In this case, yes!

Nobody forced those soldiers to make love with my brother!

I don't care about the soldiers, It's my student I'm worried about!

She isn't your student yet!

But for the moment, she is still my daughter!

And also, her purity will protect her.

Does she at least say when, she's coming back, the little bitch?

"As soon as possible, once Uncle Urbain gets better."

There's a postscript.

It's addressed to you, her tutor.

"Please send Mr. de Burlador

"all my apologies for this involuntary delay.

"I'm looking forward to meeting him."

I'll alert the embassy nevertheless.

Jo: 1 time

The tutor misses you.

I can't right now. I need to fix the car.

- Tonight, in my room? - Midnight?

Hello, Willy!

Hi, Raphael.

Hi.

Oh, my god!

Here you go. Try not to break it every day at least.

It's not my fault, it's your devilish panties that mess it up!

Could I ask Tobias to drive me to town?

I have some urgent shopping to do at the pharmacy.

Of course. But tell him to watch out for the rebels.

- Don't forget your machine gun. - Because of the rebels?

- Because of the animals! - And the crocodiles,

because you'll go past the swamp.

Well, the car broke down!

It might be time to buy a new one that actually works!

In Paris I had Talbots, Bugattis, Delahayes... now those are cars!

But we like our old Ford!

If you want a taxi, dial 30.

It doesn't work!

That's strange.

I just ordered champagne and it worked perfectly.

Actually no, it's not working anymore.

Do you want to try Morse code?

No thanks. I'll go on foot, that will be faster!

What a gait! How handsome he is!

Like Errol Flynn leaving to conquer the Indies.

Willy!

Willy!

What happened?

I couldn't leave... It was like there was a wall.

A wall?

Yes, a wall.

Look, I'm bleeding.

Of course, you hit your head on rock when you fell.

You're still a little weak.

Tomorrow morning you'll feel better. Until then, you have to rest!

Goodnight, Willy.

See you tomorrow.

Sweet dreams!

I apologize for this incident.

With a new car it wouldn't have happened.

Go ahead.

You seem preoccupied. What's wrong?

- Nothing... - No, tell me!

It's annoying in the end!

Each time I make an advance, they push me away!

- An advance? - Yes!

Any time I make a suggestion to improve how things are run,

it's always, "No!"

If this goes on, it will be a catastrophe,

and poor Flo will be left without a thing!

Women were not made to govern, doctor!

They're much too vulnerable, much too nervous!

Not to mention the intellectual field!

Michelangelo was a man as far as I know. And Shakespeare had a pair!

I wasn't there to count them.

Personally, I have often found that women are more courageous

and more resistant than men.

When I was young, I would have remarkable erections.

Alas, now...

You know, my dear Willy, women have at least

this one superiority over us:

they can come until their dying day.

I don't see the point.

You will. Later on.

Do you hear? They're enjoying themselves while I'm sick!

Come now, you aren't dying!

Swallow!

How dare he? I forbid him from setting foot in this house!

I'll go down there and plant three bullets under his skin!

Out of the question!

First of all, you seem to have forgotten that this is their house,

and they can invite who they want! Second, you've had a shock,

and I'm keeping you under observation until tomorrow.

You know what, Willy? There was no wall.

Well some obstacle did stop me, I'm not crazy, you know!

You certainly aren't crazy, but... there was no wall.

Then, it's because someone has put a spell on me.

A spell? What for?

To... to stop me from leaving!

And why would anyone stop you from leaving?

You wouldn't understand.

No one is stopping you from leaving! You're free as the air!

You can really tell you're in shock.

Try to sleep.

Sleep, sleep!

Now is not the time!

Wall or no wall... it's true that no one is trying to hold me back...

which means that they want me to leave.

And why would they want me to leave?

So that I don't meet Flo!

It's obvious!

October 15th. I was beginning to lose hope,

before he finally appeared to me in the guise of Paul.

With a natural instinct, my thighs spread,

to complete the divine triangle.

Incredible!

October 19th. I woke up this morning,

relieved to discover that despite Paul's repeated assaults,

this first mystical experience had not at all affected

the silky texture of my thighs. The star cried pink.

October 21st

Paul and I were in communion 7 more times.

Magnificent lust!

Insane!

October 26th. I feel watched. Be careful.

October 30th. Do caught us, this morning,

before the divine liquor could spread inside me

October 31st

Clo double-locked me in my room.

November 2nd.

Paul has been forced to leave. I've lost all hope.

November 10th.

They've entrusted me to Uncle Urbain for 6 months.

Is this to punish me?

In any case, I'll try to track down Paul with all my strength.

The angel's tears have moistened my sex.

- No workout this morning? - No.

- Did you know Paul? - Paul? What Paul?

Oh yeah, Mr. Paul! A very well-raised young man.

What was he like?

Less tall than you... but maybe better built.

Oh really?

More solid, more muscled, you know what I mean?

I see. Was he handsome?

Superb! Emerald eyes beneath a smoldering gaze.

Teeth like pearls. Long, fine hands,

-almost endless! -How did he come here?

Like you and all the others, through the classifieds.

How did he leave?

-Quickly. -To where?

I do not know the questions, I only know their answers.

Oh! Willy!

Come sit down next to me!

Taste this! Tell me how you like it.

It's banana jam. One of Tobias's specialties.

I love it!

Plus it gives you strength.

And Paul?

Did he also like... this banana jam?

What Paul?

You know... Paul!

Was there a Paul here?

Before me?

Oh! Paul!

Are you talking about Paul?

No! He didn't like banana jam.

But that's not why he left.

Why then?

- Because he did too much. - Too soon!

And not very well... in the end.

- A letter came for you. - A letter?

Thank you Tobias.

You may go, Tobias!

And close the door on the way out, OK?

"Dear Mr. de Burlador..."

I don't know if this letter will ever reach you,

there are so many walls standing between us.

All these absurd incidents that constantly delay our meeting,

isn't it amazing?

I'm looking at a copy of "On Love and Other Reveries,"

with your wonderful photograph,

which I happened to find in a bookshop in Saragossa.

But is it only luck that's coming between us?

Just like it is not only fate keeping us apart...

You understand me, don't you?

I'm sure you've already figured out that if I'm not there beside you now,

Do, Clo and Jo have something to do with it.

I hope to triumph over all these obstacles,

and finally have the pleasure of meeting you.

Avid to learn of the world from your lips.

Until then, I'm burning, terribly. Flo.

I knew it!

Ah, those bitches!

Tobias, where are you going?

- To pick up Ms. Flo from the plane. - I'll come with you!

He wants to accompany me to the airfield.

- What should I do? - Let's go, Tobias, hurry up!

- Where do you think you're going? - To the airfield! To get Flo!

- Without asking our opinion? - I have no need for your opinion.

And if she isn't there?

I'll get on the plane and go look for her myself.

To Spain, if necessary, this child is in danger.

Look here, this is ridiculous!

You're the ones who are ridiculous, you're all irresponsible!

It's high time I took things in hand. Let's go Tobias.

Move!

How clever! Now he's gone.

And for good! If you see what I mean.

But how could I have known he would fall in love with Florence!

What did that little minx Florence write to him?

I don't know anymore! I'll have to re-read her letter.

Maybe she wrote to him that the reason she didn't come back

was that we were preventing her?

This takes the cake! Now Florence is judging us!

The world's gone upside-down!

Especially since it's been a long time since she's had a tutor who is so...

- interesting. - So energetic!

So efficient!

- Where are you going now? - To look for something.

You never know!

Wait! There's someone who's leaving!

Swallow!

Ah, you're finally going!

- Godspeed, Mr. de Burlador! - You're the one who's leaving, Swallow!

Did you really think I would just leave you my possessions, my women?

Come on! Surely you don't need all of them?

Leave me one, and I'll give her back after!

- You've lost your mind! - Scram! On the plane, fast!

Do you think I'm scared of your little toy?

This guys totally bonkers! This isn't normal, you know!

Go!

Be more clear, I can't understand you at all!

- We need to talk! - Quiet! It's Flo.

Flo, that's enough! Your conduct is unacceptable!

I'm ordering you to come back!

No buts! I said right away, do you understand?

Right away!

Do you realize your tutor has been waiting for you for weeks?

- I want to speak to her! - It's not the time!

What's gotten into you?

- I don't even have her address. - Enough of this act!

It's been going on a month, I know you've been preventing her return.

- What? - You filthy liars!

- And I have proof. - I'd like to see it.

- Flo wrote to me, believe it or not. - Can we read it?

Gladly!

May I?

"Dear Mr. de Burlador,

"I'm writing you a few short lines

"to offer my apologies.

"These successive adjournments to my return

"are very upsetting to me because I'm eager to return to my studies.

"I promise that once I arrive I will work twice as hard,

"- to make up for lost time..." -You're lying, she didn't write that.

Read it yourself!

This isn't possible!

Read us the end, at least.

"... because I value you're esteem. I have before me the wonderful photo

"that illustrates your book, which I found by chance in Saragossa.

"In your eyes there is such a nobility, such generosity,

"that I feel I must, dear Mr. de Burlador,

"convey my sincere and respectful...

"admiration.

"Your impatient student,

"Flo."

Awkward, but charming, our little Flo.

There's really nothing to get worked up about!

I don't understand, this isn't what I read at all!

Perhaps you've been drinking a bit too much, Mr. de Burlador?

You know, in this climate...

It wasn't very nice, what you said earlier, Willy.

To put it lightly.

Well... let's forget it.

I don't feel very well.

Excuse me.

Dinner is at 9 o'clock.

As usual.

That was delicious! Shall we have a coffee in the living room?

If I may, I'd like to turn in early.

- Do you feel unwell? - No, no!

Good night.

Willy seems a little nervous lately.

Maybe even a bit too much!

What worries me, is that he's started to hallucinate.

Indeed. There was already all that about the wall!

He sees things everywhere that don't exist.

- Could it be delirium paludis? - Perhaps.

Tobias, you forgot my pitcher of water!

Oh, excuse me! Usually you go to bed much later, sir.

You're the one who makes these pills?

- What do they do? - This is scarlet, it's a pick-me-up.

- Really? I could use one... - Careful!

They're very strong, Mr. Paul would only take one.

Oh really? Well then, I'll take two!

Who's there?

It's me.

Weren't we supposed to meet in an hour?

It's urgent, it can't wait.

Don't be silly! Of course it can.

That was good!

Good.

Good.

Well? What should we do with Flo?

I have an idea!

Don't you think you've had enough ideas?

What is that, Tobias?

Three scarlets. He asked me to...

Ah, no!

Once a day is enough.

"To be...

"or not to be...

"that is the question."

Whether 'tis nobler to suffer the whims of these insatiable gluttons or...

fleeing them, return to the normal world,

where Willy becomes Burlador?

To leave...

To stay...

But to stay is to die, perhaps...

For how much longer can my virility continue to satiate

their impudent lust?

To leave then... nonsense!

To stay!

By making Flo my legitimate wife,

I could take control of this land worthy of me and my descendants,

and remove this sublime mad virgin

from the nefarious influence of these females.

To stay, to go... To stay...

To die... perhaps.

A cruel dilemma.

But then... Dying is nothing!

It's to finish being born!

No! I didn't call you!

I didn't call you! No!

What's gotten into you?

I didn't call you either!

Oh, sorry!

Mr. Paul! Excuse me!

I didn't hurt you?

Raphael!

What is inside of these monuments?

That depends. Sometimes they're full and sometimes they're empty.

Full of what?

It's frightening how much you've changed!

Like you've been dug up from underground.

Be careful, at this rate, you won't last long.

"My virile brother!

"oh how sweet, and perilous it would be

"were you my sister!"

"You have nice eyes, you know."

There goes the tutor!

Willy! Willy!

Flo?

Flo...

Flo!

Flo!

Flo is here!

Flo is here!

What's going on?

He says that Flo is here.

Flo...

Come back.

I need you, I need you to come back.

Stand up, Willy.

The game is finished.

- What game? - Flo.

What, Flo?

Flo does not exist.

What do you mean... Flo does not exist...

Just that... Flo does not exist. Flo does not exist!

We invented her.

- What are you talking about? - It's the truth, Willy.

You've gone mad!

And this?

Her journal? Did you invent this too?

And the letters, the telegrams? It was you who wrote them?

And the telephone, don't tell me

there was no one on the other line?

Uncle Urbain?

He's one I came up with.

And this?

That's easy to make, Willy.

And this photo? A photo can't be made up!

No, but it can be bought... for a shilling.

- At the flea market. - In London.

I don't believe you!

I don't believe you.

You're lying. And I know why.

I love Flo, and she loves me, and you're jealous of us.

- Jealous? - Yes.

Yes, jealous! Because you can't do without me!

Each one of you wants to keep me for herself,

but it's impossible, you see!

It's time that you knew: since the beginning, I've been fucking you!

All three of you!

So? What do you think of that?

Willy, you've got it all wrong.

It's just the opposite.

We're the ones who have been fucking you, since the beginning.

Al three of us.

It was really sweet to watch you trying to seduce us.

"I think only of you, charming Empress!

"Obsession, inspiration of my wildest dreams!"

"The fever of your thighs, you merciless sorceress

"is a mere warning sign of your intoxicating embrace"

"You are the sole, unique, sumptuous, unreal,

"you walk through the forest, like a nymph for all time."

Willy...

Willy...

You bitches!

Bitches!

Jealous? Us?

What an extravagant idea!

- Well? - What happened to him?

See for yourself.

My word! It's like we're in 55 Days at Peking!

Luckily this has only gone on for three!

Why is he doing it?

Because he decided to wait for the return of that stupid Flo!

- But didn't you tell him that... - Of course we did!

But he didn't want to believe it, he doesn't trust us any more.

You couldn't make it up.

And yet he still seems in good shape, doesn't he?

What does he eat?

He comes at night to steal food from our cooler.

Like a raid! It's costing us a fortune.

This situation is getting out of hand. We need to find a solution.

- Stop or I'll shoot! - Let me come closer, Willy!

- I came to talk to you about Flo. - So be it! Come forward!

But stay 5 steps away! I'm listening.

Well, Willy...

Man to man.

We've always been good friends, you and I.

Get to the point!

As a friend, I'm asking you to be reasonable.

To give back that weapon and leave this island.

You have no more reason to stay here!

I thought you came to talk about Flo!

Yes, just that. Let's talk about Flo.

I can guarantee you that Flo will not come back.

That Flo

cannot come back!

And you know very well why.

Of course! Because these three witches are stopping her!

Come on! Once again, Flo can not come back,

for the simple reason that she does not exist!

Flo does not exist!

She does not exist. Clearly!

Traitor!

You can tell your 3 accomplices that I'll marry Flo!

And that with Flo, I'll straighten out this ruin of an estate, for us!

And for our children! Because Flo and I are in love!

As if Flo did not exist!

They really take me for an imbecile!

Are you hurt?

- No, no... - Well?

On a physical level,

Willy seems perfectly normal.

On the other hand...

from a mental point of view, it seems he's really... really...

- in a bad way. - What can we do?

We can't exactly dispatch him manu militari!

But he's got to go! I'm getting tired of this.

In view of his state, it would be unwise to anger him.

But we need to get him...

on his own, to face the facts.

Hello?

Hello, yes Ms., I'll take the call!

Do! Jo! Come quick! Flo's calling!

Do! Jo! Hurry!

Hello?

Hello, my dear, it's Clo, your mother!

Speak up!

A telegram? But why a telegram?

What do you mean, to push forward your marriage?

But in your letter... Hello?

Flo!

Flo!

Shoot! We got cut off.

Well?

Now she wants to move her marriage 3 weeks ahead!

She wants me to send the authorization by telegraph.

That doesn't make any sense!

In her last letter she said she didn't want to get married.

It's always so confusing with her, maybe we misinterpreted it.

"Dear Do, Clo and Jo,

"It is my 5th day in Venice, where I rejoined Uncle Urbain,

"who was deported from Spain and placed here,

"under the high protection of the Supreme Pontiff.

"Alas, this demands a compensation.

"The Pope's nephew, Prince Francesco Suspiri,

"noticed me and asked Uncle Urbain for my hand,

"and without asking me, he agreed.

"It isn't that Prince Suspiri, has physical problems:

"he carries his 75 years elegantly,

"and although the rumors compare him to Nero

"for his dissolute morals, that's not certain.

"But as rich and seductive as he is, the Prince cannot remove

"the memory of Paul, who you so cruelly took away from me,

"nor that of my tutor,

"Mr. de Burlador, who I will surely never meet,

"although I have a poignant feeling

"that he could have changed the course of my life."

Poor fool!

If she knew the state our unfortunate Willy was in!

"Here I am in Venice, like a prisoner, without any resources,

"and if you do nothing to get me out of this predicament,

"I'll be married to someone who could be three times my grandfather,

"and who, in the end, is a bit repulsive.

"I beg you to think about it. Tenderly,

"and without hard feelings, come what may,

"Your little... Flo."

She's like a weather vane, my sister!

Let her get married! After all, she could always get divorced.

Divorcing the Pope's nephew! In Italy!

During a war with Abyssinia! You're dreaming.

And it would be the first time anyone got married in our family.

It could be dangerous. We have to think it out.

I've already thought it out!

I'll send my agreement tomorrow by telegraph.

It's the only way we can get rid of Flo.

Wait!

Wait!

Wait!

Wait, wait!

To Venice! It's a matter of life and death!

In Italy!

My kingdom for a horse!

He had beautiful eyes, Mr. Willy!

He did.

Poor Willy! Do you realize?

Looking for Florence in Venice!

Ms. Flo was not on the plane and there was no letter either!

- But of course not Tobias! - Not yet!

At least wait until her new tutor gets here!

Seeking tutor

for young girl of 13 - Stop -

Serious references required - Stop -

Good health essential - Stop -

Please send CV and photo

To Wild Orchids, Anatha Island - Stop and end -

- Stop and End -

subtitles by Smo