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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,273 --> 00:00:08,143 -We're gonna have some interactive fun right now. 2 00:00:08,176 --> 00:00:10,276 So if you've got voice recognition, 3 00:00:10,311 --> 00:00:12,181 maybe Cortana or Siri on your phone, 4 00:00:12,213 --> 00:00:14,123 press the button if you need to or just hold it up. 5 00:00:14,148 --> 00:00:16,278 Just let us go buck wild on your phone. 6 00:00:16,317 --> 00:00:20,217 -Hey, Siri! Open contacts. Delete all Dereks. 7 00:00:20,254 --> 00:00:22,064 -Hey, Siri? 8 00:00:22,090 --> 00:00:24,260 Text Mom, "Funyuns for dinner?" 9 00:00:24,292 --> 00:00:27,632 -Hey, Siri. Text Derek, "That was a trap." 10 00:00:27,661 --> 00:00:30,231 If you did it, you didn't pay attention earlier. 11 00:00:30,264 --> 00:00:33,134 Get those Dereks the fuck out of here! 12 00:00:33,167 --> 00:00:38,507 -Siri, change "home" to "Baskin Robbins." 13 00:00:38,539 --> 00:00:41,139 -Hey, Siri. Close all applications. 14 00:00:41,175 --> 00:00:43,205 You need to pay attention to our comedy show. 15 00:00:43,244 --> 00:00:44,414 -Hey, Siri? -Oh, good. 16 00:00:44,445 --> 00:00:45,545 -Hey, Siri? -There's another one. 17 00:00:45,579 --> 00:00:47,079 -Open Twitter. 18 00:00:47,115 --> 00:00:49,445 [ Classical music plays ] 19 00:00:49,483 --> 00:00:52,223 -The McElroy brothers are not experts, 20 00:00:52,253 --> 00:00:54,493 and their advice should never be followed. 21 00:00:54,522 --> 00:00:57,292 They're just three brothers who created a podcast, 22 00:00:57,325 --> 00:00:59,525 and now they've returned to their hometown 23 00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:01,400 to tape a TV show. 24 00:01:01,429 --> 00:01:03,629 Also, this show isn't for kids, 25 00:01:03,664 --> 00:01:06,504 which I mention only so you babies out there 26 00:01:06,534 --> 00:01:09,174 know how cool you are for watching. 27 00:01:09,203 --> 00:01:11,443 What's up, you cool baby? 28 00:01:11,472 --> 00:01:14,182 [ Mid-tempo theme music plays ] 29 00:01:16,510 --> 00:01:19,410 * It's familiar 30 00:01:19,447 --> 00:01:22,447 * But not too familiar 31 00:01:22,483 --> 00:01:26,493 * But not too not familiar 32 00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:29,360 * It's a new craze 33 00:01:29,390 --> 00:01:32,090 [ Indistinct singing ] 34 00:01:44,738 --> 00:01:46,538 -What are you doing? 35 00:01:46,574 --> 00:01:48,744 -Getting the dust. 36 00:01:48,776 --> 00:01:50,606 -That's gross, though. We're doing the show. 37 00:01:50,644 --> 00:01:52,584 -I didn't... -Hello, everybody, 38 00:01:52,613 --> 00:01:54,923 and welcome to "My Brother, My Brother & Me," 39 00:01:54,948 --> 00:01:56,678 an advice show for the modern era. 40 00:01:56,717 --> 00:01:58,687 I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy. 41 00:01:58,719 --> 00:02:00,719 -I'm your middlest brother, Travis McElroy. 42 00:02:00,754 --> 00:02:03,594 -And I'm your sweet baby brother, Griffin McElroy. 43 00:02:03,624 --> 00:02:05,694 -That -- You got to save that for the end. 44 00:02:05,726 --> 00:02:08,726 Welcome to our viewers that are playing along 45 00:02:08,762 --> 00:02:11,672 with our alternate-reality game, or ARG. 46 00:02:11,699 --> 00:02:13,369 -Or Argh! -Arrgh! 47 00:02:13,401 --> 00:02:14,541 -That's good. -If you've been watching 48 00:02:14,568 --> 00:02:16,268 the previous episodes with eagle eyes, 49 00:02:16,304 --> 00:02:17,474 then you've been spotting the clues 50 00:02:17,505 --> 00:02:19,305 that we've delicately woven 51 00:02:19,340 --> 00:02:22,280 into every scene of every episode. 52 00:02:22,310 --> 00:02:25,150 -I know it doesn't paint you in the best light, maybe. 53 00:02:27,281 --> 00:02:30,381 -Welcome to New Dugburg! 54 00:02:30,418 --> 00:02:32,718 -Reginald VelJohnson. 55 00:02:33,687 --> 00:02:36,657 -[ Speaks indistinctly ] 56 00:02:36,690 --> 00:02:39,360 -We're really sorry if you've missed it up to this point 57 00:02:39,393 --> 00:02:41,663 because, honestly, this show's not gonna make much sense 58 00:02:41,695 --> 00:02:43,195 unless you're playing along with it. 59 00:02:43,231 --> 00:02:44,671 So for the rest of this episode, 60 00:02:44,698 --> 00:02:47,498 we're gonna try to make the clues a lot more prominent 61 00:02:47,535 --> 00:02:51,465 and obvious from this point forward. 62 00:02:51,505 --> 00:02:53,735 -Seven! 63 00:02:54,808 --> 00:02:57,308 -We asked our listeners for lots of questions. 64 00:02:57,345 --> 00:02:59,475 And, uh... -Seven is the clue. 65 00:02:59,513 --> 00:03:03,683 -This one comes to us from Nathan. 66 00:03:03,717 --> 00:03:05,747 -Seven! -"I recently overheard 67 00:03:05,786 --> 00:03:08,286 someone mention my boss' name in a conversation 68 00:03:08,322 --> 00:03:09,662 about high-ranking members 69 00:03:09,690 --> 00:03:11,990 of a certain ancient secret society. 70 00:03:12,025 --> 00:03:14,695 What are some ways I can drop subtle hints at work 71 00:03:14,728 --> 00:03:16,528 that I'm interested in this organization 72 00:03:16,564 --> 00:03:20,234 without making it obvious I know his secret?" 73 00:03:20,268 --> 00:03:22,568 And that's Nathan from Louisville. 74 00:03:22,603 --> 00:03:24,743 -What do you think that conversation was like? 75 00:03:24,772 --> 00:03:27,712 That they overheard, of like, "Oh, yeah? 76 00:03:27,741 --> 00:03:29,711 Masons? Bill's in that! 77 00:03:29,743 --> 00:03:31,313 Chief of it, I think!" 78 00:03:31,345 --> 00:03:33,345 -Masons are too surface-level. 79 00:03:33,381 --> 00:03:36,351 I don't even think Masons are "secret society" anymore. 80 00:03:36,384 --> 00:03:37,624 -There's a secret society 81 00:03:37,651 --> 00:03:38,821 that's running the entire country, right? 82 00:03:38,852 --> 00:03:40,622 -Yes, clearly. -Clearly. 83 00:03:40,654 --> 00:03:42,524 We have our minds. We have our charisma. 84 00:03:42,556 --> 00:03:44,016 We have the fact that we're making a TV show. 85 00:03:44,057 --> 00:03:45,857 And everybody gonna want a slice of that pie. 86 00:03:45,893 --> 00:03:48,403 -Just want to say, I don't have any charisma. So... 87 00:03:48,429 --> 00:03:49,799 -Well, one of us has charisma. -Okay. 88 00:03:49,830 --> 00:03:51,470 -Between the three of us, 89 00:03:51,499 --> 00:03:53,429 we have the charisma of a regular adult man. 90 00:03:53,467 --> 00:03:55,337 Griffin, you have the first question on the floor. 91 00:03:55,369 --> 00:03:58,369 -I don't wanna get murdered. -That's a legitimate fear. 92 00:03:58,406 --> 00:04:01,336 -So what's the first step in our secret hunting? 93 00:04:01,375 --> 00:04:03,605 -The library! 94 00:04:03,644 --> 00:04:05,884 -You seemed to really kind of pull that one out of nowhere. 95 00:04:05,913 --> 00:04:07,753 -Well, where else are you gonna go for information? 96 00:04:07,781 --> 00:04:13,321 We'll go -- we'll head over there, and we'll figure out... 97 00:04:13,354 --> 00:04:15,564 Oh, what's that? 98 00:04:15,589 --> 00:04:19,059 -It appears to be an envelope. 99 00:04:19,092 --> 00:04:21,902 -Did somebody put this on? -Yeah, somebody -- some -- 100 00:04:21,929 --> 00:04:23,659 one of the producers put it on. -Oh, okay. Cool. 101 00:04:23,697 --> 00:04:25,497 -Oh, all right. -Funny. 102 00:04:27,401 --> 00:04:30,341 Did one of them draw this? 103 00:04:30,371 --> 00:04:32,711 -What? -Greg, did you draw this? 104 00:04:32,740 --> 00:04:34,580 -Steven? -Steve? 105 00:04:34,608 --> 00:04:37,378 -New guy? Keep it up. You're doing a great job. 106 00:04:37,411 --> 00:04:39,381 -That, to me, looks like one of those maps 107 00:04:39,413 --> 00:04:40,913 that you use at the library. 108 00:04:40,948 --> 00:04:43,378 -Griffin... -The Dewey Decimal System? 109 00:04:43,417 --> 00:04:44,747 -Let's just go to the next scene. 110 00:04:44,785 --> 00:04:46,845 It's in the fucking library. We already did it! 111 00:04:46,887 --> 00:04:50,487 We're going to the library now 'cause we did it! Star wipe! 112 00:04:50,524 --> 00:04:52,534 -Star wipe! 113 00:04:52,560 --> 00:04:54,730 [ Classical music plays ] 114 00:04:57,565 --> 00:04:59,425 -I don't know how to read this. 115 00:04:59,467 --> 00:05:00,667 This means it will be 116 00:05:00,701 --> 00:05:03,601 a "National Treasure: Book of Secrets." 117 00:05:03,637 --> 00:05:05,837 I think it might be this giant memoir of Barbara Bush. 118 00:05:05,873 --> 00:05:07,683 -That's probably not the Barbara Bush memoir. 119 00:05:07,708 --> 00:05:09,908 -She's full of secrets. 120 00:05:11,111 --> 00:05:12,551 -No. 121 00:05:12,580 --> 00:05:13,780 -There's no maps or nothing. -No. 122 00:05:13,814 --> 00:05:15,124 -I'm gonna hold on to this, though, 123 00:05:15,148 --> 00:05:16,918 'cause I'm interested. -Any nudes? 124 00:05:16,950 --> 00:05:18,520 -That's horrible. 125 00:05:18,552 --> 00:05:20,352 -Our brother Travis assures us that he 126 00:05:20,388 --> 00:05:22,418 has used one of these machines before. 127 00:05:22,456 --> 00:05:23,716 -We've got it. -You're almost certainly 128 00:05:23,757 --> 00:05:25,527 supposed to get help with this, right? 129 00:05:25,559 --> 00:05:28,629 -It says, "Pull forward." -Please don't break anything. 130 00:05:28,662 --> 00:05:30,432 -It... 131 00:05:30,464 --> 00:05:31,634 Motherfucker. 132 00:05:32,733 --> 00:05:35,143 -No nudes. -You're not gonna believe this. 133 00:05:35,168 --> 00:05:36,668 My book has a video man in it. 134 00:05:36,704 --> 00:05:38,974 Hold on. Let me play it. 135 00:05:39,006 --> 00:05:41,506 'Sup, fools? It's me, Thomas Jefferson. 136 00:05:41,542 --> 00:05:43,682 [ All gasp ] -What? 137 00:05:43,711 --> 00:05:44,981 Faster, Travis! 138 00:05:45,012 --> 00:05:46,682 I'm not finding what I need! 139 00:05:46,714 --> 00:05:48,654 Whoa. Whoa! That seems wrong. 140 00:05:48,682 --> 00:05:52,852 -The Bill of Rights was a prank. 141 00:05:52,886 --> 00:05:54,386 -Wait. Whoa. Okay. I think that -- 142 00:05:54,422 --> 00:05:55,692 -That's crazy! 143 00:05:55,723 --> 00:05:56,863 -That's got some troubling repercussions. 144 00:05:56,890 --> 00:05:58,460 -That's -- that's not great. 145 00:05:58,492 --> 00:06:00,832 [ Deep voice ] Yeah, I know. 146 00:06:00,861 --> 00:06:05,371 -Guys, there's nothing funny in this section. 147 00:06:09,970 --> 00:06:11,570 -We're here at the beautiful 148 00:06:11,605 --> 00:06:13,465 and historic Keith Albee theater. 149 00:06:13,507 --> 00:06:14,707 Constructed in... 150 00:06:14,742 --> 00:06:16,682 -1928. -...1928. 151 00:06:16,710 --> 00:06:18,680 If there are secrets buried in Huntington leading us 152 00:06:18,712 --> 00:06:20,482 to the powers that control the city, 153 00:06:20,514 --> 00:06:21,654 we're gonna find them here. 154 00:06:21,682 --> 00:06:22,882 The game's afoot. 155 00:06:22,916 --> 00:06:25,446 -"Hose rack." It's an anagram. 156 00:06:25,486 --> 00:06:27,416 -Shoe cark. -Horse cak. 157 00:06:27,455 --> 00:06:28,685 -Horse... -Horse ack. 158 00:06:28,722 --> 00:06:30,192 -Horse. -Horse! 159 00:06:30,223 --> 00:06:31,893 -Rhose car. 160 00:06:31,925 --> 00:06:33,785 -Race... I don't think -- 161 00:06:33,827 --> 00:06:34,957 -That's nothing. This is nothing. 162 00:06:34,995 --> 00:06:36,595 -That might just be a hose rack. 163 00:06:36,630 --> 00:06:39,700 There's definitely a key to press on this 164 00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:41,973 that's gonna unlock this whole thing. 165 00:06:42,002 --> 00:06:44,042 -But wait! -It says, "Don't touch it," 166 00:06:44,071 --> 00:06:47,611 so we should only touch it once. 167 00:06:47,641 --> 00:06:49,541 So these are great buttons to press. 168 00:06:49,577 --> 00:06:50,707 -Yeah. -Why are you touching it? 169 00:06:50,744 --> 00:06:52,514 -You are definitely touching it. 170 00:06:52,546 --> 00:06:53,976 That's our one touch. So now we don't get to do it. 171 00:06:54,014 --> 00:06:56,224 Great job, Justin. You guys, I found a secret passageway. 172 00:06:56,249 --> 00:06:57,819 -Okay, well that's -- that's just a do-- 173 00:06:57,851 --> 00:07:00,021 -Griffin, that's just a loose door. 174 00:07:00,053 --> 00:07:02,463 -Oh, you'll never believe what's back here, though. 175 00:07:02,490 --> 00:07:03,720 -Nothing? 176 00:07:03,757 --> 00:07:05,727 -I do just because it's the childhood dream. 177 00:07:05,759 --> 00:07:08,059 I want to check out the catacombs. 178 00:07:08,095 --> 00:07:09,895 -If you set off an alarm, 179 00:07:09,930 --> 00:07:11,930 that will be the end of our "National Treasure" journey. 180 00:07:15,769 --> 00:07:16,999 It's trash. 181 00:07:17,037 --> 00:07:18,837 -Well, check this room. -Oh, no! 182 00:07:18,872 --> 00:07:21,612 I super don't wanna check this room! 183 00:07:21,642 --> 00:07:23,682 Ceilings are getting a little low. 184 00:07:23,711 --> 00:07:25,811 -Yeah. Here. Let me just look here and see. 185 00:07:25,846 --> 00:07:27,006 -We've hit a point in the corridor 186 00:07:27,047 --> 00:07:29,517 where our cameras can't fit inside anymore. 187 00:07:29,550 --> 00:07:31,490 So Justin and Travis went on ahead to scout. 188 00:07:31,519 --> 00:07:32,889 How -- what is -- what is in there? 189 00:07:32,920 --> 00:07:34,890 -Griffin, I wish you could see this, Griffin. 190 00:07:34,922 --> 00:07:38,662 -This is no joke. There's a tunnel leading back. 191 00:07:38,692 --> 00:07:39,962 This might be the fabled tunnel. 192 00:07:39,993 --> 00:07:41,563 -Whoa. Is that -- 193 00:07:41,595 --> 00:07:42,995 Trav, look! Coming out of the wall! 194 00:07:43,030 --> 00:07:45,030 -What? -It's two swords! 195 00:07:45,065 --> 00:07:46,695 -These are awesome! -I wanna -- 196 00:07:46,734 --> 00:07:48,104 I also want a sword! 197 00:07:48,135 --> 00:07:49,835 -Whoa! -Can I trade with one 198 00:07:49,870 --> 00:07:51,970 of you guys and get swords and stuff? 199 00:07:52,005 --> 00:07:53,735 -Listen, ancient spirits. 200 00:07:53,774 --> 00:07:55,814 Thank you so much for your benevolence. 201 00:07:55,843 --> 00:07:58,953 But please make this look like a regular hallway. 202 00:08:00,814 --> 00:08:02,724 -That was so much fun! 203 00:08:02,750 --> 00:08:04,620 And now we're even closer as brothers! 204 00:08:04,652 --> 00:08:05,792 -Oh, man. 205 00:08:05,819 --> 00:08:07,019 -I love you. -I love you. 206 00:08:07,054 --> 00:08:08,894 -That was great! I'm gonna go see what's -- 207 00:08:08,922 --> 00:08:11,532 I'm gonna go see if I can find anything. -Okay. 208 00:08:11,559 --> 00:08:13,059 They already switched it back to a plain hallway. 209 00:08:13,093 --> 00:08:15,003 -Hey! This looks like a regular tunnel! 210 00:08:15,028 --> 00:08:16,858 -See. He has no idea. 211 00:08:16,897 --> 00:08:18,867 -Wait a minute -- Benjamin Franklin! 212 00:08:18,899 --> 00:08:20,729 -No. He's lying. -What are you doing here? 213 00:08:20,768 --> 00:08:21,898 -This isn't real. -Let's just listen. 214 00:08:21,935 --> 00:08:23,295 He's desperate. 215 00:08:23,336 --> 00:08:26,736 -Hey! Sonic the Hedgehog is in here! 216 00:08:26,774 --> 00:08:29,744 He just gave me a big bag of weed! 217 00:08:29,777 --> 00:08:31,707 -Sonic the Hedgehog didn't give Griffin weed. 218 00:08:31,745 --> 00:08:33,305 -Guys, I'm getting smoked out 219 00:08:33,346 --> 00:08:35,876 by Sonic the Hedgehog and Benjamin Franklin. 220 00:08:35,916 --> 00:08:41,516 -Thirty-four and five -- 39. 221 00:08:43,757 --> 00:08:46,127 Ready? Are you -- Do you wanna get a hand on it, Trav? 222 00:08:46,159 --> 00:08:48,029 If you can just -- Well, we're... 223 00:08:48,061 --> 00:08:50,001 -Okay. -There we go. 224 00:08:50,030 --> 00:08:52,700 -[ Imitates "X Files" noise ] That was the "X-Files" noise. 225 00:08:52,733 --> 00:08:55,743 There's nothing. Wait, did we check under the X? 226 00:08:55,769 --> 00:08:58,039 -No, don't do that. That's probably there for a reason. 227 00:08:58,071 --> 00:09:00,341 -Apparently not, 'cause there's no clues. 228 00:09:00,373 --> 00:09:02,913 [ Classical music plays ] 229 00:09:06,379 --> 00:09:09,079 Who is the shadowy organization 230 00:09:09,116 --> 00:09:11,886 that controls all the banks and government in Huntington? 231 00:09:11,919 --> 00:09:13,689 -What? 232 00:09:13,721 --> 00:09:17,791 -Who is pulling the strings, 233 00:09:17,825 --> 00:09:19,725 the puppet master? 234 00:09:19,760 --> 00:09:21,060 -Well, I am the mayor. 235 00:09:21,094 --> 00:09:25,074 -The real puppet masters of the whole enchilada. 236 00:09:25,098 --> 00:09:27,668 -Did you all stay up late last night 237 00:09:27,701 --> 00:09:28,901 watching a bunch of movies? 238 00:09:28,936 --> 00:09:30,836 -We did have a movie-and-candy party. 239 00:09:30,871 --> 00:09:35,381 But that doesn't change the fact that a shadowy organization 240 00:09:35,408 --> 00:09:38,648 controls the banks and government of Huntington. 241 00:09:38,679 --> 00:09:40,649 -Why would you think 242 00:09:40,681 --> 00:09:44,751 that there is some unknown "puppet master" 243 00:09:44,785 --> 00:09:47,685 preventing you from doing what you're able to do yourself? 244 00:09:47,721 --> 00:09:49,021 -Why wouldn't you think 245 00:09:49,056 --> 00:09:51,016 there's some unknown puppet master 246 00:09:51,058 --> 00:09:54,658 preventing me from doing... the rest of the sentence? 247 00:09:54,695 --> 00:09:56,795 -Why would I think it? -Why wouldn't you, though? 248 00:09:56,830 --> 00:09:58,800 -"Why wouldn't you?" is the question. -That's my question. 249 00:09:58,832 --> 00:10:01,702 Why wou-- why would I? 250 00:10:01,735 --> 00:10:02,995 Why are you here with me? 251 00:10:04,905 --> 00:10:07,165 -Hey, "Nathan." It's me, Justin McElroy, 252 00:10:07,207 --> 00:10:08,837 the guy whose episode you fucked. 253 00:10:08,876 --> 00:10:10,406 -Did you really think we were gonna find 254 00:10:10,443 --> 00:10:11,913 the Illuminati on our TV show? 255 00:10:11,945 --> 00:10:14,105 -We can't do easy things on our TV show. 256 00:10:14,147 --> 00:10:15,777 And you want us to do a hard one? 257 00:10:15,816 --> 00:10:17,886 -This is a ding-dong podcast! 258 00:10:17,918 --> 00:10:19,918 -You're a jerk-person, Nathan. -Hold on. 259 00:10:19,953 --> 00:10:22,763 Let me look up Nathan's address in the Yellow Pages. 260 00:10:22,790 --> 00:10:25,030 Oh. It says here "a garbage can." 261 00:10:25,058 --> 00:10:27,058 -Let me look up Nathan's phone number. 262 00:10:27,094 --> 00:10:28,934 -Justin's gonna slam you here in a second. 263 00:10:28,962 --> 00:10:31,032 Light this motherfucker up! 264 00:10:31,064 --> 00:10:33,734 -Get him! Get him, Justin! 265 00:10:33,767 --> 00:10:36,137 -That's right. 266 00:10:36,169 --> 00:10:37,839 Eat that shit, Nathan! 267 00:10:37,871 --> 00:10:39,771 -Live in it. Now you're a fart. 268 00:10:39,807 --> 00:10:41,107 Justin's right. 269 00:10:41,141 --> 00:10:43,011 -I don't know. I don't know! 270 00:10:43,043 --> 00:10:44,753 In every other bit of this show, 271 00:10:44,778 --> 00:10:46,848 Huntington has swung its proverbial doors 272 00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:48,150 open wide to us, 273 00:10:48,181 --> 00:10:50,851 the TV boys made good, but not with this one. 274 00:10:50,884 --> 00:10:53,294 -We reached out to a cornucopia of both secret 275 00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:56,120 and hyper-public societies, 276 00:10:56,156 --> 00:10:58,056 all of which said either "Fuck you," 277 00:10:58,091 --> 00:11:01,061 or "Okay," and then 5 minutes later, "Fuck you." 278 00:11:01,094 --> 00:11:05,074 -The Huntington Railroad Society said they were too busy. 279 00:11:05,098 --> 00:11:09,298 Marshall University Human Resources Management Society. 280 00:11:09,336 --> 00:11:12,006 Also the Marshall University Fishery Society. 281 00:11:12,039 --> 00:11:14,979 -Why the fuck did we call them? -That one's on us. 282 00:11:15,008 --> 00:11:17,878 -I think we need to just stick with it, boys. 283 00:11:17,911 --> 00:11:19,181 I think we need to power through. 284 00:11:19,212 --> 00:11:21,982 -I don't wanna. 285 00:11:22,015 --> 00:11:23,775 Well, things are pretty dire. 286 00:11:23,817 --> 00:11:25,317 We've found nothing but brick walls in front of us 287 00:11:25,352 --> 00:11:27,192 no matter which way we've turned. 288 00:11:27,220 --> 00:11:29,220 So we've returned here to the, you know, beautiful and historic 289 00:11:29,256 --> 00:11:31,926 Keith Albee Theater to visit 290 00:11:31,959 --> 00:11:34,189 with the one society that would have us. 291 00:11:34,227 --> 00:11:36,857 [ Blues music plays ] 292 00:11:42,770 --> 00:11:44,170 -Brothers McElroy. -Hi. 293 00:11:44,204 --> 00:11:45,774 -Hey! 294 00:11:45,806 --> 00:11:48,106 Good to see you. 295 00:11:48,141 --> 00:11:49,941 -Wow, you guys didn't miss a beat. 296 00:11:49,977 --> 00:11:51,237 You're unflappable. 297 00:11:51,278 --> 00:11:53,148 -Yeah. That was amazing. -Thanks for joining us. 298 00:11:53,180 --> 00:11:54,850 You guys are the Huntington Blues Society. 299 00:11:54,882 --> 00:11:56,322 Thank you for sitting down with us. 300 00:11:56,349 --> 00:11:58,319 How does somebody join the Huntington Blues Society? 301 00:11:58,351 --> 00:12:00,991 How many contracts and blood oaths and stuff? 302 00:12:01,021 --> 00:12:05,191 -Unfortunately for you all, it's pretty much show up. 303 00:12:05,225 --> 00:12:07,125 -Hey, can my friend Nathan join? 304 00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:08,530 -Yes. -Yeah. 305 00:12:08,561 --> 00:12:10,101 -Okay, he's in. -You're in, Nathan! 306 00:12:10,130 --> 00:12:11,300 Congratulations! -We got one. We got one. 307 00:12:11,331 --> 00:12:12,831 -There's one you're in. 308 00:12:12,866 --> 00:12:14,226 -And if this isn't taken already, 309 00:12:14,267 --> 00:12:16,297 I would like Nathan to be the King of Blues. 310 00:12:16,336 --> 00:12:17,936 -I'm the King of Blues. 311 00:12:17,971 --> 00:12:20,011 -Well, there's three Kings of Blues already. 312 00:12:20,040 --> 00:12:22,040 -He can be the Prince Regent of Blues. 313 00:12:22,075 --> 00:12:23,235 -That's pretty good. -I like that. 314 00:12:23,276 --> 00:12:25,006 -Yeah? -Prince of Blues. 315 00:12:25,045 --> 00:12:26,245 -I think it's all about a catchy thing in a title. 316 00:12:26,279 --> 00:12:27,919 We'll work out the duties later. 317 00:12:27,948 --> 00:12:29,148 -You don't get to run any banks. 318 00:12:29,182 --> 00:12:31,022 But you're the Prince of Blues. 319 00:12:31,051 --> 00:12:32,191 -Let me actually ask you all. 320 00:12:32,219 --> 00:12:33,849 We are probably gonna end up 321 00:12:33,887 --> 00:12:35,857 having to start our own secret society. 322 00:12:35,889 --> 00:12:37,989 Based on your alls experiences, 323 00:12:38,025 --> 00:12:39,825 what would be some tips you have for us? 324 00:12:39,860 --> 00:12:42,200 -Try to keep the jerks out seems to be a good formula. 325 00:12:42,229 --> 00:12:44,999 -No jerks. -Do you vote jerks out? 326 00:12:45,032 --> 00:12:46,802 -You just don't let them jam? -Yeah, we don't let them jam. 327 00:12:46,834 --> 00:12:48,244 -That's after the jam. -Take their jamming power away. 328 00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:50,068 -If you get kicked out of the Blues Society 329 00:12:50,103 --> 00:12:52,013 and you're sad about it, what do you do then? 330 00:12:53,073 --> 00:12:54,913 Thanks, y'all. -Best of luck, bros. 331 00:12:54,942 --> 00:12:56,342 -Can you play us out, please? -That would be great. 332 00:12:56,376 --> 00:12:58,246 -We could play you out. 333 00:12:58,278 --> 00:12:59,878 [ Guitar plays ] 334 00:12:59,913 --> 00:13:01,283 -That's actually very slow. 335 00:13:01,314 --> 00:13:04,024 -A little faster. 336 00:13:05,318 --> 00:13:07,888 [ Classical music plays ] 337 00:13:11,925 --> 00:13:13,185 -Who are you calling? 338 00:13:13,226 --> 00:13:16,056 -Skull and bones. 339 00:13:16,096 --> 00:13:17,396 -Thank you for calling Shell and Bones. 340 00:13:17,430 --> 00:13:19,130 This is Carrie speaking. Can you please hold? 341 00:13:19,166 --> 00:13:21,166 -Yes. Hi. 342 00:13:21,201 --> 00:13:23,341 Sorry, did you say this is Shell and Bones? 343 00:13:23,370 --> 00:13:24,940 -Yes. 344 00:13:24,972 --> 00:13:26,372 -Okay. Sorry. I have the wrong number. 345 00:13:26,406 --> 00:13:28,006 I was trying to get ahold of the Skull and Bones. 346 00:13:28,041 --> 00:13:29,911 You guys are a restaurant? 347 00:13:29,943 --> 00:13:31,953 -Yes. -Like an oyster restaur-- 348 00:13:31,979 --> 00:13:34,179 -We have oysters here, an oyster bar and grill. 349 00:13:34,214 --> 00:13:38,124 -Oh, that sounds nice. You don't run any... 350 00:13:38,151 --> 00:13:40,191 Okay. Thank you very much. 351 00:13:40,220 --> 00:13:42,960 -I'm gonna take a big old swing. 352 00:13:42,990 --> 00:13:44,320 -Ooh. 353 00:13:44,357 --> 00:13:47,327 -Because I'm really excited to say this sentence 354 00:13:47,360 --> 00:13:49,230 I get to say if they answer the phone. 355 00:13:49,262 --> 00:13:51,362 -Oh. Okay. -Hi, is this who I would call 356 00:13:51,398 --> 00:13:55,168 to speak to about the Knights Templar? 357 00:13:55,202 --> 00:13:57,972 -Uh, yes. 358 00:14:00,307 --> 00:14:02,207 -Well, I'm calling on behalf of a friend. 359 00:14:02,242 --> 00:14:03,482 I was just calling to find out 360 00:14:03,510 --> 00:14:05,950 what the application process was, 361 00:14:05,979 --> 00:14:09,019 what kind of requirements there were to join the Knights Templar. 362 00:14:11,318 --> 00:14:13,088 Have to be a Mason. -Yes. 363 00:14:13,120 --> 00:14:14,920 -Okay. 364 00:14:14,955 --> 00:14:19,125 Is there a good number to call to join the Masons? 365 00:14:19,159 --> 00:14:22,429 -Um, I'm not sure. 366 00:14:22,462 --> 00:14:26,132 Um, give me one second. -Okay, great. Thank you. 367 00:14:26,166 --> 00:14:30,366 -This is just a phone number you can call! 368 00:14:30,403 --> 00:14:32,113 They know where the Holy Grail is. 369 00:14:32,139 --> 00:14:33,969 And you're talking to them on the phone! 370 00:14:34,007 --> 00:14:35,677 And their number was on Google! -I know! 371 00:14:35,708 --> 00:14:37,508 Yes, hello. I was just calling. 372 00:14:37,544 --> 00:14:39,984 Is this the Masons? 373 00:14:40,013 --> 00:14:43,283 -This is the Knights Templar... [ Indistinct talking ] 374 00:14:45,118 --> 00:14:48,388 -Excellent. I have a friend named Nathan who I'm doing some research for. 375 00:14:48,421 --> 00:14:51,521 And what would Nathan need to do to join the Masons? 376 00:14:51,558 --> 00:14:53,228 Let's start there. 377 00:14:53,260 --> 00:14:55,400 Oh. 378 00:14:55,428 --> 00:14:59,498 Is there any kind of physical fitness requirement to it? 379 00:15:01,434 --> 00:15:04,074 Okay, Thank you so very much. 380 00:15:04,104 --> 00:15:06,074 -You're welcome. Have a good night. -You too. Bye. 381 00:15:07,340 --> 00:15:09,140 -What the fuck? -What the fuck? -What the fuck? 382 00:15:09,176 --> 00:15:11,276 -We just called the fucking Knights Templar! 383 00:15:11,311 --> 00:15:13,351 -Wow! That went so much better than I -- 384 00:15:13,380 --> 00:15:15,980 -That went really good! -That was so good! 385 00:15:16,016 --> 00:15:18,946 -Hey, Nathan. Just wanted to hop in here and say, 386 00:15:18,986 --> 00:15:21,956 you remember that bit earlier where we yelled at you 387 00:15:21,989 --> 00:15:24,319 and said bad things about you being a toilet man 388 00:15:24,357 --> 00:15:26,157 who lives in a dumpster? 389 00:15:26,193 --> 00:15:28,233 That was just -- we're -- we were having fun. 390 00:15:28,261 --> 00:15:30,001 Now the episode's kind of turning around. 391 00:15:30,030 --> 00:15:33,030 And so it -- I hope you can take it in good humor. 392 00:15:33,066 --> 00:15:37,136 -You're fine. And thanks for this great episode. 393 00:15:37,170 --> 00:15:39,270 -Justin, do you have anything you wanna say to Nathan? 394 00:15:39,306 --> 00:15:41,106 -Well, I do wanna apologize to the person 395 00:15:41,141 --> 00:15:43,141 who has the phone number 1-[bleep]-fartnow. 396 00:15:43,176 --> 00:15:44,436 -Yeah. -Because you've certainly got 397 00:15:44,477 --> 00:15:46,747 some confusing calls in the previous days. 398 00:15:46,779 --> 00:15:49,219 [ Classical music plays ] 399 00:15:52,485 --> 00:15:54,285 -Here. 400 00:15:54,321 --> 00:15:56,561 -My mic just went inside me. 401 00:15:56,589 --> 00:15:58,289 Here's what I think. 402 00:15:58,325 --> 00:16:01,155 It seems very easy to start your own secret society. 403 00:16:01,194 --> 00:16:03,204 -Yeah. -I think let's do our own thing, 404 00:16:03,230 --> 00:16:05,470 be the biggest secret society that ever existed in Huntington. 405 00:16:05,498 --> 00:16:08,068 Get the mayor involved, get the -- some, you know, 406 00:16:08,101 --> 00:16:10,101 just have fun with the kids. -Some chill-ass folks. 407 00:16:10,137 --> 00:16:13,367 -Yeah, just chill out and have a good time as our own unit. 408 00:16:17,110 --> 00:16:18,410 -We're here at... 409 00:16:18,445 --> 00:16:20,105 Huntington's number-one robe store, 410 00:16:20,147 --> 00:16:22,277 to try to find some robes for our secret society. 411 00:16:22,315 --> 00:16:26,145 ** 412 00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:43,100 -These are our secret-society outfits. 413 00:16:43,136 --> 00:16:45,536 No, wait. 414 00:16:47,507 --> 00:16:50,107 These are our secret society outfits. 415 00:16:50,143 --> 00:16:51,413 You look like a businessman 416 00:16:51,444 --> 00:16:53,814 with an extremely specific fetish. 417 00:16:53,846 --> 00:16:55,646 -You look like a new kid in Candyland 418 00:16:55,682 --> 00:16:58,422 that just steals Twizzlers. -You look like a -- 419 00:16:58,451 --> 00:17:02,491 a Vaudeville usher who's trying for a management position. 420 00:17:02,522 --> 00:17:04,262 -Justin, you look like a Halloween costume 421 00:17:04,291 --> 00:17:07,091 to represent farts under a blanket. 422 00:17:07,127 --> 00:17:09,657 -Justin looks like some rye bread that a cape got on. 423 00:17:09,696 --> 00:17:12,296 -You look like if hepatitis was a person. 424 00:17:12,332 --> 00:17:15,032 -[ Laughing ] 425 00:17:16,836 --> 00:17:20,606 ** 426 00:17:22,542 --> 00:17:24,442 Our preparations are complete. 427 00:17:24,477 --> 00:17:27,347 We're about to begin our first meeting here 428 00:17:27,380 --> 00:17:30,180 at the Huntington Roll-A-Rama. 429 00:17:34,887 --> 00:17:37,157 -Hello and welcome. -Welcome. 430 00:17:37,190 --> 00:17:40,260 -Maybe we should have been more clear about robe type. 431 00:17:40,293 --> 00:17:42,463 -You look terrific. -You look super spooky and good. 432 00:17:42,495 --> 00:17:44,425 -You look super good. -Welcome, welcome. 433 00:17:44,464 --> 00:17:46,304 More bath robes. Damn it. 434 00:17:50,203 --> 00:17:55,183 -Initiates, are you prepared to take a dark journey with us? 435 00:17:55,208 --> 00:17:59,248 We represent the ruling body of K2, 436 00:17:59,279 --> 00:18:04,119 Knights Templar 2: The Wacky Wizards. 437 00:18:04,151 --> 00:18:06,591 Everyone on Earth is a member. 438 00:18:06,619 --> 00:18:09,189 You could only opt out. 439 00:18:09,222 --> 00:18:13,232 If you wish to opt out, this would be the moment. 440 00:18:15,628 --> 00:18:17,558 -Super cool. -Sick. Yeah. 441 00:18:17,597 --> 00:18:19,327 -Yeah. -One second. 442 00:18:19,366 --> 00:18:20,626 I think I'm getting feedback 443 00:18:20,667 --> 00:18:22,637 'cause I'm too close to the speakers? 444 00:18:22,669 --> 00:18:24,739 -Are you ready? -You ready? -Yeah! 445 00:18:24,771 --> 00:18:26,371 -Are you guys ready? 446 00:18:28,208 --> 00:18:30,208 -I don't wanna do that to everybody. 447 00:18:30,243 --> 00:18:31,613 -No, it feels really dark, though. 448 00:18:31,644 --> 00:18:35,184 -You're going down. Just give it a whirl! 449 00:18:35,215 --> 00:18:36,675 Let's reach harmonic unity! 450 00:18:36,716 --> 00:18:38,246 -All: Ahh! 451 00:18:43,590 --> 00:18:45,430 -Shit! 452 00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:48,498 -Now repeat after us. -Hulkamania. 453 00:18:48,528 --> 00:18:50,428 -All: Hulkamania. 454 00:18:50,463 --> 00:18:51,733 -About to run. 455 00:18:51,764 --> 00:18:53,434 -All: About to run. 456 00:18:53,466 --> 00:18:54,626 -Why? 457 00:18:54,667 --> 00:18:56,267 -All: Why? 458 00:18:56,303 --> 00:18:57,743 -Ahh! 459 00:18:57,770 --> 00:19:01,440 -If you betray the Knights Templar 2: Wacky Wizards... 460 00:19:01,474 --> 00:19:03,644 -All: I will have to kill you. 461 00:19:03,676 --> 00:19:07,546 -All: Ahh! 462 00:19:07,580 --> 00:19:09,520 I agree to sign the contract. 463 00:19:09,549 --> 00:19:12,319 I agree to sign the contract. 464 00:19:12,352 --> 00:19:14,622 I agree to sign the contract. 465 00:19:14,654 --> 00:19:16,294 I agree to sign the contract. 466 00:19:16,323 --> 00:19:17,663 -I agree to sign the contract. 467 00:19:17,690 --> 00:19:19,630 -I agree to sign the contract. 468 00:19:19,659 --> 00:19:22,199 -I agree to sign the contract. -I agree to sign the contract. 469 00:19:22,229 --> 00:19:24,459 -I agree to sign the contract. 470 00:19:24,497 --> 00:19:25,667 -Nailed it. 471 00:19:25,698 --> 00:19:27,628 -All: I agree to sign the contract! 472 00:19:27,667 --> 00:19:30,637 -Let the contracts be signed! 473 00:19:30,670 --> 00:19:31,800 -Just sign right there. 474 00:19:31,838 --> 00:19:33,508 -Just wherever the spirit moves you. 475 00:19:33,540 --> 00:19:35,380 -And be ready to take over the banks and stuff. 476 00:19:35,408 --> 00:19:37,338 Getting pretty pumped for that? -I can get us in. 477 00:19:37,377 --> 00:19:38,547 -Cool. -Oh, that's great. 478 00:19:38,578 --> 00:19:40,578 -What's size? -Gentlemen's 12. 479 00:19:40,613 --> 00:19:42,683 -Gentlemen's 12. -Gentlemen's 12. 480 00:19:42,715 --> 00:19:44,775 -Those are down here? 481 00:19:44,817 --> 00:19:47,417 -Welcome to the newest initiates 482 00:19:47,454 --> 00:19:51,364 of Knights Templar 2: Wacky Wizards. 483 00:19:51,391 --> 00:19:55,231 Tomorrow we take over the banks. 484 00:19:55,262 --> 00:19:58,832 Tonight, we get wild! 485 00:19:58,865 --> 00:20:01,565 Music! 486 00:20:01,601 --> 00:20:05,341 ** 487 00:20:09,476 --> 00:20:11,506 -Guys, come push me! 488 00:20:16,749 --> 00:20:19,219 That's an excellent job, initiate! 489 00:20:24,391 --> 00:20:26,261 -We're cult leaders! -We did it! 490 00:20:26,293 --> 00:20:28,363 -We're leading a cult! -We have a cult! 491 00:20:33,633 --> 00:20:36,543 -The roller derby team is coming in to practice. 492 00:20:36,569 --> 00:20:38,569 And it's 10:00, and we should really go! 493 00:20:38,605 --> 00:20:40,335 Single-file line. 494 00:20:40,373 --> 00:20:42,613 -Everybody, be real safe. Hey, there's pizza and cake. 495 00:20:42,642 --> 00:20:44,842 -Oh, my knees. -It's okay. 496 00:20:44,877 --> 00:20:46,847 You did great out there. -I just wanna say. 497 00:20:46,879 --> 00:20:48,779 I thought this episode was gonna be kind of a stinkfire. 498 00:20:48,815 --> 00:20:51,345 And I think we actually did okay with it here at the end. 499 00:20:51,384 --> 00:20:53,694 -Yeah, I mean we did the thing, had a great time, 500 00:20:53,720 --> 00:20:56,860 had a few laughs, learned some stuff. 501 00:20:59,091 --> 00:21:01,361 It went great! -So there you have it, Nathan. 502 00:21:01,394 --> 00:21:03,464 A secret society is just a bunch of people getting together, 503 00:21:03,496 --> 00:21:05,496 doing stuff, and then not telling other people about it. 504 00:21:05,532 --> 00:21:07,732 So welcome to our secret society. 505 00:21:07,767 --> 00:21:09,337 -Welcome to K2! 506 00:21:09,369 --> 00:21:10,739 By the way, I just remembered, 507 00:21:10,770 --> 00:21:12,640 we already filmed the ending this episode. 508 00:21:12,672 --> 00:21:15,382 Take it away. 509 00:21:17,109 --> 00:21:19,579 -That was fun. -Yeah, another great adventure. 510 00:21:19,612 --> 00:21:22,382 -Well, tell me about it. What'd you guys get into today? 511 00:21:22,415 --> 00:21:23,775 -All right. So here's the skinny. 512 00:21:23,816 --> 00:21:25,586 We haven't shot the rest of the episode yet. 513 00:21:25,618 --> 00:21:27,688 So we don't know what we got into today. 514 00:21:27,720 --> 00:21:29,390 Maybe it was funny. Maybe it wasn't. 515 00:21:29,422 --> 00:21:30,662 -Why don't we do this? 516 00:21:30,690 --> 00:21:32,630 Instead of just guessing at some shit we did... 517 00:21:32,659 --> 00:21:33,789 -Yeah. -'Cause our comedy is 518 00:21:33,826 --> 00:21:36,396 so dynamic and random... -So random! 519 00:21:36,429 --> 00:21:37,629 -...that we could never get it right. 520 00:21:37,664 --> 00:21:38,904 What if we just move our mouths and we 521 00:21:38,931 --> 00:21:40,671 ADR'd it, I think is what it's called later? 522 00:21:40,700 --> 00:21:43,400 -That's the word. -And so let's just get close-up. 523 00:21:43,436 --> 00:21:45,606 I'll start. Boy, oh, boy. 524 00:21:45,638 --> 00:21:48,408 I had a lot of fun meeting the Huntington Blues Society. 525 00:21:48,441 --> 00:21:50,411 And I loved hearing their good music 526 00:21:50,443 --> 00:21:52,613 and their thoughtful answers to our questions. 527 00:21:52,645 --> 00:21:55,745 -Thanks to Nathan, we were able to grow as brothers and as people. 528 00:21:55,782 --> 00:21:57,652 And now we're closer than ever! 529 00:21:57,684 --> 00:21:59,494 -I'm gonna interrupt and talk about what a great time I had 530 00:21:59,519 --> 00:22:01,389 with you and you. No more messing around. 531 00:22:01,421 --> 00:22:03,521 You know I love these guys. I got something on my pants. 532 00:22:03,556 --> 00:22:05,486 Anyway, this was the best episode ever. 533 00:22:05,525 --> 00:22:06,725 We got to to the library. 534 00:22:06,759 --> 00:22:08,659 We made our own secret society. 535 00:22:08,695 --> 00:22:10,695 We got to go roller skating. It was the best day of my life. 536 00:22:10,730 --> 00:22:12,830 And I owe it all to these jokers. 537 00:22:12,865 --> 00:22:15,435 -Did you catch every ARG clue? 538 00:22:15,468 --> 00:22:18,438 Go to my youngest son's seventh word/my youngest son's 539 00:22:18,471 --> 00:22:21,611 fifteenth word .pizza to unlock your prize. 540 00:22:21,641 --> 00:22:24,381 -Anyway, that's gonna do it for us. Thanks to... 541 00:22:24,411 --> 00:22:26,451 all the new initiates of our secret society. 542 00:22:26,479 --> 00:22:29,849 And we'll see you next time, unless we died in this one. 543 00:22:29,882 --> 00:22:35,422 [ Warped talking ] 544 00:22:35,455 --> 00:22:36,855 -You can't pull the strings on the government 545 00:22:36,889 --> 00:22:38,559 unless you're connected to the government. 546 00:22:38,591 --> 00:22:44,401 -You need bank people, mayors. 547 00:22:44,431 --> 00:22:45,971 -Just join, Steve! -Steve, will you please join? 548 00:22:45,998 --> 00:22:47,868 -We really need this, Steve. -Steve, just join! 549 00:22:47,900 --> 00:22:49,600 -I'm pretty busy. I'm pretty busy. 550 00:22:49,636 --> 00:22:52,666 -Listen. Have you ever wanted to get in 551 00:22:52,705 --> 00:22:54,905 on the ground floor of something? 552 00:22:54,941 --> 00:22:56,611 -Plastics. -Plastics. 553 00:22:56,643 --> 00:22:58,413 -Plastics, exactly. 41730

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