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1
00:00:05,273 --> 00:00:08,143
-We're gonna have
some interactive fun right now.
2
00:00:08,176 --> 00:00:10,276
So if you've got
voice recognition,
3
00:00:10,311 --> 00:00:12,181
maybe Cortana or Siri
on your phone,
4
00:00:12,213 --> 00:00:14,123
press the button if you need to
or just hold it up.
5
00:00:14,148 --> 00:00:16,278
Just let us go buck wild
on your phone.
6
00:00:16,317 --> 00:00:20,217
-Hey, Siri! Open contacts.
Delete all Dereks.
7
00:00:20,254 --> 00:00:22,064
-Hey, Siri?
8
00:00:22,090 --> 00:00:24,260
Text Mom, "Funyuns for dinner?"
9
00:00:24,292 --> 00:00:27,632
-Hey, Siri. Text Derek,
"That was a trap."
10
00:00:27,661 --> 00:00:30,231
If you did it, you didn't
pay attention earlier.
11
00:00:30,264 --> 00:00:33,134
Get those Dereks
the fuck out of here!
12
00:00:33,167 --> 00:00:38,507
-Siri, change "home"
to "Baskin Robbins."
13
00:00:38,539 --> 00:00:41,139
-Hey, Siri.
Close all applications.
14
00:00:41,175 --> 00:00:43,205
You need to pay attention
to our comedy show.
15
00:00:43,244 --> 00:00:44,414
-Hey, Siri?
-Oh, good.
16
00:00:44,445 --> 00:00:45,545
-Hey, Siri?
-There's another one.
17
00:00:45,579 --> 00:00:47,079
-Open Twitter.
18
00:00:47,115 --> 00:00:49,445
[ Classical music plays ]
19
00:00:49,483 --> 00:00:52,223
-The McElroy brothers
are not experts,
20
00:00:52,253 --> 00:00:54,493
and their advice
should never be followed.
21
00:00:54,522 --> 00:00:57,292
They're just three brothers
who created a podcast,
22
00:00:57,325 --> 00:00:59,525
and now they've returned
to their hometown
23
00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:01,400
to tape a TV show.
24
00:01:01,429 --> 00:01:03,629
Also, this show isn't for kids,
25
00:01:03,664 --> 00:01:06,504
which I mention
only so you babies out there
26
00:01:06,534 --> 00:01:09,174
know how cool you are
for watching.
27
00:01:09,203 --> 00:01:11,443
What's up, you cool baby?
28
00:01:11,472 --> 00:01:14,182
[ Mid-tempo theme music plays ]
29
00:01:16,510 --> 00:01:19,410
* It's familiar
30
00:01:19,447 --> 00:01:22,447
* But not too familiar
31
00:01:22,483 --> 00:01:26,493
* But not too not familiar
32
00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:29,360
* It's a new craze
33
00:01:29,390 --> 00:01:32,090
[ Indistinct singing ]
34
00:01:44,738 --> 00:01:46,538
-What are you doing?
35
00:01:46,574 --> 00:01:48,744
-Getting the dust.
36
00:01:48,776 --> 00:01:50,606
-That's gross, though.
We're doing the show.
37
00:01:50,644 --> 00:01:52,584
-I didn't...
-Hello, everybody,
38
00:01:52,613 --> 00:01:54,923
and welcome to "My Brother,
My Brother & Me,"
39
00:01:54,948 --> 00:01:56,678
an advice show
for the modern era.
40
00:01:56,717 --> 00:01:58,687
I'm your oldest brother,
Justin McElroy.
41
00:01:58,719 --> 00:02:00,719
-I'm your middlest brother,
Travis McElroy.
42
00:02:00,754 --> 00:02:03,594
-And I'm your sweet baby
brother, Griffin McElroy.
43
00:02:03,624 --> 00:02:05,694
-That -- You got to save that
for the end.
44
00:02:05,726 --> 00:02:08,726
Welcome to our viewers
that are playing along
45
00:02:08,762 --> 00:02:11,672
with our alternate-reality game,
or ARG.
46
00:02:11,699 --> 00:02:13,369
-Or Argh!
-Arrgh!
47
00:02:13,401 --> 00:02:14,541
-That's good.
-If you've been watching
48
00:02:14,568 --> 00:02:16,268
the previous episodes
with eagle eyes,
49
00:02:16,304 --> 00:02:17,474
then you've been
spotting the clues
50
00:02:17,505 --> 00:02:19,305
that we've delicately woven
51
00:02:19,340 --> 00:02:22,280
into every scene
of every episode.
52
00:02:22,310 --> 00:02:25,150
-I know it doesn't paint you
in the best light, maybe.
53
00:02:27,281 --> 00:02:30,381
-Welcome to New Dugburg!
54
00:02:30,418 --> 00:02:32,718
-Reginald VelJohnson.
55
00:02:33,687 --> 00:02:36,657
-[ Speaks indistinctly ]
56
00:02:36,690 --> 00:02:39,360
-We're really sorry if you've
missed it up to this point
57
00:02:39,393 --> 00:02:41,663
because, honestly, this show's
not gonna make much sense
58
00:02:41,695 --> 00:02:43,195
unless you're playing
along with it.
59
00:02:43,231 --> 00:02:44,671
So for the rest of this episode,
60
00:02:44,698 --> 00:02:47,498
we're gonna try to make
the clues a lot more prominent
61
00:02:47,535 --> 00:02:51,465
and obvious
from this point forward.
62
00:02:51,505 --> 00:02:53,735
-Seven!
63
00:02:54,808 --> 00:02:57,308
-We asked our listeners
for lots of questions.
64
00:02:57,345 --> 00:02:59,475
And, uh...
-Seven is the clue.
65
00:02:59,513 --> 00:03:03,683
-This one comes to us
from Nathan.
66
00:03:03,717 --> 00:03:05,747
-Seven!
-"I recently overheard
67
00:03:05,786 --> 00:03:08,286
someone mention my boss' name
in a conversation
68
00:03:08,322 --> 00:03:09,662
about high-ranking members
69
00:03:09,690 --> 00:03:11,990
of a certain ancient
secret society.
70
00:03:12,025 --> 00:03:14,695
What are some ways I can
drop subtle hints at work
71
00:03:14,728 --> 00:03:16,528
that I'm interested
in this organization
72
00:03:16,564 --> 00:03:20,234
without making it obvious
I know his secret?"
73
00:03:20,268 --> 00:03:22,568
And that's Nathan
from Louisville.
74
00:03:22,603 --> 00:03:24,743
-What do you think
that conversation was like?
75
00:03:24,772 --> 00:03:27,712
That they overheard, of like,
"Oh, yeah?
76
00:03:27,741 --> 00:03:29,711
Masons? Bill's in that!
77
00:03:29,743 --> 00:03:31,313
Chief of it, I think!"
78
00:03:31,345 --> 00:03:33,345
-Masons are
too surface-level.
79
00:03:33,381 --> 00:03:36,351
I don't even think Masons
are "secret society" anymore.
80
00:03:36,384 --> 00:03:37,624
-There's a secret society
81
00:03:37,651 --> 00:03:38,821
that's running the entire
country, right?
82
00:03:38,852 --> 00:03:40,622
-Yes, clearly.
-Clearly.
83
00:03:40,654 --> 00:03:42,524
We have our minds.
We have our charisma.
84
00:03:42,556 --> 00:03:44,016
We have the fact
that we're making a TV show.
85
00:03:44,057 --> 00:03:45,857
And everybody gonna want
a slice of that pie.
86
00:03:45,893 --> 00:03:48,403
-Just want to say, I don't have
any charisma. So...
87
00:03:48,429 --> 00:03:49,799
-Well, one of us has charisma.
-Okay.
88
00:03:49,830 --> 00:03:51,470
-Between the three of us,
89
00:03:51,499 --> 00:03:53,429
we have the charisma
of a regular adult man.
90
00:03:53,467 --> 00:03:55,337
Griffin, you have the first
question on the floor.
91
00:03:55,369 --> 00:03:58,369
-I don't wanna get murdered.
-That's a legitimate fear.
92
00:03:58,406 --> 00:04:01,336
-So what's the first step
in our secret hunting?
93
00:04:01,375 --> 00:04:03,605
-The library!
94
00:04:03,644 --> 00:04:05,884
-You seemed to really kind of
pull that one out of nowhere.
95
00:04:05,913 --> 00:04:07,753
-Well, where else are you
gonna go for information?
96
00:04:07,781 --> 00:04:13,321
We'll go -- we'll head over
there, and we'll figure out...
97
00:04:13,354 --> 00:04:15,564
Oh, what's that?
98
00:04:15,589 --> 00:04:19,059
-It appears to be an envelope.
99
00:04:19,092 --> 00:04:21,902
-Did somebody put this on?
-Yeah, somebody -- some --
100
00:04:21,929 --> 00:04:23,659
one of the producers put it on.
-Oh, okay. Cool.
101
00:04:23,697 --> 00:04:25,497
-Oh, all right.
-Funny.
102
00:04:27,401 --> 00:04:30,341
Did one of them draw this?
103
00:04:30,371 --> 00:04:32,711
-What?
-Greg, did you draw this?
104
00:04:32,740 --> 00:04:34,580
-Steven?
-Steve?
105
00:04:34,608 --> 00:04:37,378
-New guy? Keep it up.
You're doing a great job.
106
00:04:37,411 --> 00:04:39,381
-That, to me,
looks like one of those maps
107
00:04:39,413 --> 00:04:40,913
that you use at the library.
108
00:04:40,948 --> 00:04:43,378
-Griffin...
-The Dewey Decimal System?
109
00:04:43,417 --> 00:04:44,747
-Let's just go
to the next scene.
110
00:04:44,785 --> 00:04:46,845
It's in the fucking library.
We already did it!
111
00:04:46,887 --> 00:04:50,487
We're going to the library now
'cause we did it! Star wipe!
112
00:04:50,524 --> 00:04:52,534
-Star wipe!
113
00:04:52,560 --> 00:04:54,730
[ Classical music plays ]
114
00:04:57,565 --> 00:04:59,425
-I don't know how to read this.
115
00:04:59,467 --> 00:05:00,667
This means it will be
116
00:05:00,701 --> 00:05:03,601
a "National Treasure:
Book of Secrets."
117
00:05:03,637 --> 00:05:05,837
I think it might be this giant
memoir of Barbara Bush.
118
00:05:05,873 --> 00:05:07,683
-That's probably not
the Barbara Bush memoir.
119
00:05:07,708 --> 00:05:09,908
-She's full of secrets.
120
00:05:11,111 --> 00:05:12,551
-No.
121
00:05:12,580 --> 00:05:13,780
-There's no maps or nothing.
-No.
122
00:05:13,814 --> 00:05:15,124
-I'm gonna hold on to this,
though,
123
00:05:15,148 --> 00:05:16,918
'cause I'm interested.
-Any nudes?
124
00:05:16,950 --> 00:05:18,520
-That's horrible.
125
00:05:18,552 --> 00:05:20,352
-Our brother Travis
assures us that he
126
00:05:20,388 --> 00:05:22,418
has used one
of these machines before.
127
00:05:22,456 --> 00:05:23,716
-We've got it.
-You're almost certainly
128
00:05:23,757 --> 00:05:25,527
supposed to get help with this,
right?
129
00:05:25,559 --> 00:05:28,629
-It says, "Pull forward."
-Please don't break anything.
130
00:05:28,662 --> 00:05:30,432
-It...
131
00:05:30,464 --> 00:05:31,634
Motherfucker.
132
00:05:32,733 --> 00:05:35,143
-No nudes.
-You're not gonna believe this.
133
00:05:35,168 --> 00:05:36,668
My book has a video man in it.
134
00:05:36,704 --> 00:05:38,974
Hold on. Let me play it.
135
00:05:39,006 --> 00:05:41,506
'Sup, fools?
It's me, Thomas Jefferson.
136
00:05:41,542 --> 00:05:43,682
[ All gasp ]
-What?
137
00:05:43,711 --> 00:05:44,981
Faster, Travis!
138
00:05:45,012 --> 00:05:46,682
I'm not finding what I need!
139
00:05:46,714 --> 00:05:48,654
Whoa. Whoa! That seems wrong.
140
00:05:48,682 --> 00:05:52,852
-The Bill of Rights
was a prank.
141
00:05:52,886 --> 00:05:54,386
-Wait. Whoa. Okay.
I think that --
142
00:05:54,422 --> 00:05:55,692
-That's crazy!
143
00:05:55,723 --> 00:05:56,863
-That's got
some troubling repercussions.
144
00:05:56,890 --> 00:05:58,460
-That's -- that's not great.
145
00:05:58,492 --> 00:06:00,832
[ Deep voice ]
Yeah, I know.
146
00:06:00,861 --> 00:06:05,371
-Guys, there's nothing funny
in this section.
147
00:06:09,970 --> 00:06:11,570
-We're here at the beautiful
148
00:06:11,605 --> 00:06:13,465
and historic
Keith Albee theater.
149
00:06:13,507 --> 00:06:14,707
Constructed in...
150
00:06:14,742 --> 00:06:16,682
-1928.
-...1928.
151
00:06:16,710 --> 00:06:18,680
If there are secrets buried
in Huntington leading us
152
00:06:18,712 --> 00:06:20,482
to the powers
that control the city,
153
00:06:20,514 --> 00:06:21,654
we're gonna find them here.
154
00:06:21,682 --> 00:06:22,882
The game's afoot.
155
00:06:22,916 --> 00:06:25,446
-"Hose rack." It's an anagram.
156
00:06:25,486 --> 00:06:27,416
-Shoe cark.
-Horse cak.
157
00:06:27,455 --> 00:06:28,685
-Horse...
-Horse ack.
158
00:06:28,722 --> 00:06:30,192
-Horse.
-Horse!
159
00:06:30,223 --> 00:06:31,893
-Rhose car.
160
00:06:31,925 --> 00:06:33,785
-Race...
I don't think --
161
00:06:33,827 --> 00:06:34,957
-That's nothing.
This is nothing.
162
00:06:34,995 --> 00:06:36,595
-That might just be a hose rack.
163
00:06:36,630 --> 00:06:39,700
There's definitely
a key to press on this
164
00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:41,973
that's gonna unlock
this whole thing.
165
00:06:42,002 --> 00:06:44,042
-But wait!
-It says, "Don't touch it,"
166
00:06:44,071 --> 00:06:47,611
so we should only
touch it once.
167
00:06:47,641 --> 00:06:49,541
So these are great
buttons to press.
168
00:06:49,577 --> 00:06:50,707
-Yeah.
-Why are you touching it?
169
00:06:50,744 --> 00:06:52,514
-You are definitely
touching it.
170
00:06:52,546 --> 00:06:53,976
That's our one touch.
So now we don't get to do it.
171
00:06:54,014 --> 00:06:56,224
Great job, Justin. You guys,
I found a secret passageway.
172
00:06:56,249 --> 00:06:57,819
-Okay, well that's --
that's just a do--
173
00:06:57,851 --> 00:07:00,021
-Griffin, that's just
a loose door.
174
00:07:00,053 --> 00:07:02,463
-Oh, you'll never believe
what's back here, though.
175
00:07:02,490 --> 00:07:03,720
-Nothing?
176
00:07:03,757 --> 00:07:05,727
-I do just because
it's the childhood dream.
177
00:07:05,759 --> 00:07:08,059
I want to check out
the catacombs.
178
00:07:08,095 --> 00:07:09,895
-If you set off an alarm,
179
00:07:09,930 --> 00:07:11,930
that will be the end of our
"National Treasure" journey.
180
00:07:15,769 --> 00:07:16,999
It's trash.
181
00:07:17,037 --> 00:07:18,837
-Well, check this room.
-Oh, no!
182
00:07:18,872 --> 00:07:21,612
I super don't wanna
check this room!
183
00:07:21,642 --> 00:07:23,682
Ceilings are getting
a little low.
184
00:07:23,711 --> 00:07:25,811
-Yeah. Here.
Let me just look here and see.
185
00:07:25,846 --> 00:07:27,006
-We've hit a point
in the corridor
186
00:07:27,047 --> 00:07:29,517
where our cameras
can't fit inside anymore.
187
00:07:29,550 --> 00:07:31,490
So Justin and Travis
went on ahead to scout.
188
00:07:31,519 --> 00:07:32,889
How -- what is --
what is in there?
189
00:07:32,920 --> 00:07:34,890
-Griffin, I wish you could
see this, Griffin.
190
00:07:34,922 --> 00:07:38,662
-This is no joke.
There's a tunnel leading back.
191
00:07:38,692 --> 00:07:39,962
This might be the fabled tunnel.
192
00:07:39,993 --> 00:07:41,563
-Whoa. Is that --
193
00:07:41,595 --> 00:07:42,995
Trav, look!
Coming out of the wall!
194
00:07:43,030 --> 00:07:45,030
-What?
-It's two swords!
195
00:07:45,065 --> 00:07:46,695
-These are awesome!
-I wanna --
196
00:07:46,734 --> 00:07:48,104
I also want a sword!
197
00:07:48,135 --> 00:07:49,835
-Whoa!
-Can I trade with one
198
00:07:49,870 --> 00:07:51,970
of you guys
and get swords and stuff?
199
00:07:52,005 --> 00:07:53,735
-Listen, ancient spirits.
200
00:07:53,774 --> 00:07:55,814
Thank you so much
for your benevolence.
201
00:07:55,843 --> 00:07:58,953
But please make this look
like a regular hallway.
202
00:08:00,814 --> 00:08:02,724
-That was so much fun!
203
00:08:02,750 --> 00:08:04,620
And now we're even closer
as brothers!
204
00:08:04,652 --> 00:08:05,792
-Oh, man.
205
00:08:05,819 --> 00:08:07,019
-I love you.
-I love you.
206
00:08:07,054 --> 00:08:08,894
-That was great!
I'm gonna go see what's --
207
00:08:08,922 --> 00:08:11,532
I'm gonna go see
if I can find anything.
-Okay.
208
00:08:11,559 --> 00:08:13,059
They already switched it
back to a plain hallway.
209
00:08:13,093 --> 00:08:15,003
-Hey! This looks like
a regular tunnel!
210
00:08:15,028 --> 00:08:16,858
-See. He has no idea.
211
00:08:16,897 --> 00:08:18,867
-Wait a minute --
Benjamin Franklin!
212
00:08:18,899 --> 00:08:20,729
-No. He's lying.
-What are you doing here?
213
00:08:20,768 --> 00:08:21,898
-This isn't real.
-Let's just listen.
214
00:08:21,935 --> 00:08:23,295
He's desperate.
215
00:08:23,336 --> 00:08:26,736
-Hey! Sonic the Hedgehog
is in here!
216
00:08:26,774 --> 00:08:29,744
He just gave me
a big bag of weed!
217
00:08:29,777 --> 00:08:31,707
-Sonic the Hedgehog
didn't give Griffin weed.
218
00:08:31,745 --> 00:08:33,305
-Guys, I'm getting smoked out
219
00:08:33,346 --> 00:08:35,876
by Sonic the Hedgehog
and Benjamin Franklin.
220
00:08:35,916 --> 00:08:41,516
-Thirty-four and five -- 39.
221
00:08:43,757 --> 00:08:46,127
Ready? Are you -- Do you wanna
get a hand on it, Trav?
222
00:08:46,159 --> 00:08:48,029
If you can just --
Well, we're...
223
00:08:48,061 --> 00:08:50,001
-Okay.
-There we go.
224
00:08:50,030 --> 00:08:52,700
-[ Imitates "X Files" noise ]
That was the "X-Files" noise.
225
00:08:52,733 --> 00:08:55,743
There's nothing.
Wait, did we check under the X?
226
00:08:55,769 --> 00:08:58,039
-No, don't do that. That's
probably there for a reason.
227
00:08:58,071 --> 00:09:00,341
-Apparently not,
'cause there's no clues.
228
00:09:00,373 --> 00:09:02,913
[ Classical music plays ]
229
00:09:06,379 --> 00:09:09,079
Who is the shadowy organization
230
00:09:09,116 --> 00:09:11,886
that controls all the banks
and government in Huntington?
231
00:09:11,919 --> 00:09:13,689
-What?
232
00:09:13,721 --> 00:09:17,791
-Who is pulling the strings,
233
00:09:17,825 --> 00:09:19,725
the puppet master?
234
00:09:19,760 --> 00:09:21,060
-Well, I am the mayor.
235
00:09:21,094 --> 00:09:25,074
-The real puppet masters
of the whole enchilada.
236
00:09:25,098 --> 00:09:27,668
-Did you all stay up late
last night
237
00:09:27,701 --> 00:09:28,901
watching a bunch of movies?
238
00:09:28,936 --> 00:09:30,836
-We did have
a movie-and-candy party.
239
00:09:30,871 --> 00:09:35,381
But that doesn't change the fact
that a shadowy organization
240
00:09:35,408 --> 00:09:38,648
controls the banks and
government of Huntington.
241
00:09:38,679 --> 00:09:40,649
-Why would you think
242
00:09:40,681 --> 00:09:44,751
that there is some unknown
"puppet master"
243
00:09:44,785 --> 00:09:47,685
preventing you from doing
what you're able to do yourself?
244
00:09:47,721 --> 00:09:49,021
-Why wouldn't you think
245
00:09:49,056 --> 00:09:51,016
there's some unknown
puppet master
246
00:09:51,058 --> 00:09:54,658
preventing me from doing...
the rest of the sentence?
247
00:09:54,695 --> 00:09:56,795
-Why would I think it?
-Why wouldn't you, though?
248
00:09:56,830 --> 00:09:58,800
-"Why wouldn't you?"
is the question.
-That's my question.
249
00:09:58,832 --> 00:10:01,702
Why wou-- why would I?
250
00:10:01,735 --> 00:10:02,995
Why are you here with me?
251
00:10:04,905 --> 00:10:07,165
-Hey, "Nathan."
It's me, Justin McElroy,
252
00:10:07,207 --> 00:10:08,837
the guy
whose episode you fucked.
253
00:10:08,876 --> 00:10:10,406
-Did you really think
we were gonna find
254
00:10:10,443 --> 00:10:11,913
the Illuminati on our TV show?
255
00:10:11,945 --> 00:10:14,105
-We can't do easy things
on our TV show.
256
00:10:14,147 --> 00:10:15,777
And you want us
to do a hard one?
257
00:10:15,816 --> 00:10:17,886
-This is a ding-dong podcast!
258
00:10:17,918 --> 00:10:19,918
-You're a jerk-person, Nathan.
-Hold on.
259
00:10:19,953 --> 00:10:22,763
Let me look up Nathan's address
in the Yellow Pages.
260
00:10:22,790 --> 00:10:25,030
Oh. It says here
"a garbage can."
261
00:10:25,058 --> 00:10:27,058
-Let me look up
Nathan's phone number.
262
00:10:27,094 --> 00:10:28,934
-Justin's gonna slam you here
in a second.
263
00:10:28,962 --> 00:10:31,032
Light this motherfucker up!
264
00:10:31,064 --> 00:10:33,734
-Get him! Get him, Justin!
265
00:10:33,767 --> 00:10:36,137
-That's right.
266
00:10:36,169 --> 00:10:37,839
Eat that shit, Nathan!
267
00:10:37,871 --> 00:10:39,771
-Live in it. Now you're a fart.
268
00:10:39,807 --> 00:10:41,107
Justin's right.
269
00:10:41,141 --> 00:10:43,011
-I don't know. I don't know!
270
00:10:43,043 --> 00:10:44,753
In every other bit of this show,
271
00:10:44,778 --> 00:10:46,848
Huntington has swung
its proverbial doors
272
00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:48,150
open wide to us,
273
00:10:48,181 --> 00:10:50,851
the TV boys made good,
but not with this one.
274
00:10:50,884 --> 00:10:53,294
-We reached out to a cornucopia
of both secret
275
00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:56,120
and hyper-public societies,
276
00:10:56,156 --> 00:10:58,056
all of which said
either "Fuck you,"
277
00:10:58,091 --> 00:11:01,061
or "Okay," and then
5 minutes later, "Fuck you."
278
00:11:01,094 --> 00:11:05,074
-The Huntington Railroad Society
said they were too busy.
279
00:11:05,098 --> 00:11:09,298
Marshall University Human
Resources Management Society.
280
00:11:09,336 --> 00:11:12,006
Also the Marshall University
Fishery Society.
281
00:11:12,039 --> 00:11:14,979
-Why the fuck did we call them?
-That one's on us.
282
00:11:15,008 --> 00:11:17,878
-I think we need to
just stick with it, boys.
283
00:11:17,911 --> 00:11:19,181
I think we need
to power through.
284
00:11:19,212 --> 00:11:21,982
-I don't wanna.
285
00:11:22,015 --> 00:11:23,775
Well, things are pretty dire.
286
00:11:23,817 --> 00:11:25,317
We've found nothing
but brick walls in front of us
287
00:11:25,352 --> 00:11:27,192
no matter
which way we've turned.
288
00:11:27,220 --> 00:11:29,220
So we've returned here to the,
you know, beautiful and historic
289
00:11:29,256 --> 00:11:31,926
Keith Albee Theater to visit
290
00:11:31,959 --> 00:11:34,189
with the one society
that would have us.
291
00:11:34,227 --> 00:11:36,857
[ Blues music plays ]
292
00:11:42,770 --> 00:11:44,170
-Brothers McElroy.
-Hi.
293
00:11:44,204 --> 00:11:45,774
-Hey!
294
00:11:45,806 --> 00:11:48,106
Good to see you.
295
00:11:48,141 --> 00:11:49,941
-Wow, you guys
didn't miss a beat.
296
00:11:49,977 --> 00:11:51,237
You're unflappable.
297
00:11:51,278 --> 00:11:53,148
-Yeah. That was amazing.
-Thanks for joining us.
298
00:11:53,180 --> 00:11:54,850
You guys are
the Huntington Blues Society.
299
00:11:54,882 --> 00:11:56,322
Thank you for sitting down
with us.
300
00:11:56,349 --> 00:11:58,319
How does somebody join
the Huntington Blues Society?
301
00:11:58,351 --> 00:12:00,991
How many contracts
and blood oaths and stuff?
302
00:12:01,021 --> 00:12:05,191
-Unfortunately for you all,
it's pretty much show up.
303
00:12:05,225 --> 00:12:07,125
-Hey, can my friend
Nathan join?
304
00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:08,530
-Yes.
-Yeah.
305
00:12:08,561 --> 00:12:10,101
-Okay, he's in.
-You're in, Nathan!
306
00:12:10,130 --> 00:12:11,300
Congratulations!
-We got one. We got one.
307
00:12:11,331 --> 00:12:12,831
-There's one you're in.
308
00:12:12,866 --> 00:12:14,226
-And if this isn't
taken already,
309
00:12:14,267 --> 00:12:16,297
I would like Nathan
to be the King of Blues.
310
00:12:16,336 --> 00:12:17,936
-I'm the King of Blues.
311
00:12:17,971 --> 00:12:20,011
-Well, there's three Kings
of Blues already.
312
00:12:20,040 --> 00:12:22,040
-He can be
the Prince Regent of Blues.
313
00:12:22,075 --> 00:12:23,235
-That's pretty good.
-I like that.
314
00:12:23,276 --> 00:12:25,006
-Yeah?
-Prince of Blues.
315
00:12:25,045 --> 00:12:26,245
-I think it's all about
a catchy thing in a title.
316
00:12:26,279 --> 00:12:27,919
We'll work out
the duties later.
317
00:12:27,948 --> 00:12:29,148
-You don't get
to run any banks.
318
00:12:29,182 --> 00:12:31,022
But you're the Prince of Blues.
319
00:12:31,051 --> 00:12:32,191
-Let me actually ask you all.
320
00:12:32,219 --> 00:12:33,849
We are probably gonna end up
321
00:12:33,887 --> 00:12:35,857
having to start
our own secret society.
322
00:12:35,889 --> 00:12:37,989
Based on your alls
experiences,
323
00:12:38,025 --> 00:12:39,825
what would be some tips
you have for us?
324
00:12:39,860 --> 00:12:42,200
-Try to keep the jerks out
seems to be a good formula.
325
00:12:42,229 --> 00:12:44,999
-No jerks.
-Do you vote jerks out?
326
00:12:45,032 --> 00:12:46,802
-You just don't let them jam?
-Yeah, we don't let them jam.
327
00:12:46,834 --> 00:12:48,244
-That's after the jam.
-Take their jamming power away.
328
00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:50,068
-If you get kicked out
of the Blues Society
329
00:12:50,103 --> 00:12:52,013
and you're sad about it,
what do you do then?
330
00:12:53,073 --> 00:12:54,913
Thanks, y'all.
-Best of luck, bros.
331
00:12:54,942 --> 00:12:56,342
-Can you play us out, please?
-That would be great.
332
00:12:56,376 --> 00:12:58,246
-We could play you out.
333
00:12:58,278 --> 00:12:59,878
[ Guitar plays ]
334
00:12:59,913 --> 00:13:01,283
-That's actually very slow.
335
00:13:01,314 --> 00:13:04,024
-A little faster.
336
00:13:05,318 --> 00:13:07,888
[ Classical music plays ]
337
00:13:11,925 --> 00:13:13,185
-Who are you calling?
338
00:13:13,226 --> 00:13:16,056
-Skull and bones.
339
00:13:16,096 --> 00:13:17,396
-Thank you for calling
Shell and Bones.
340
00:13:17,430 --> 00:13:19,130
This is Carrie speaking.
Can you please hold?
341
00:13:19,166 --> 00:13:21,166
-Yes. Hi.
342
00:13:21,201 --> 00:13:23,341
Sorry, did you say
this is Shell and Bones?
343
00:13:23,370 --> 00:13:24,940
-Yes.
344
00:13:24,972 --> 00:13:26,372
-Okay. Sorry.
I have the wrong number.
345
00:13:26,406 --> 00:13:28,006
I was trying to get ahold of
the Skull and Bones.
346
00:13:28,041 --> 00:13:29,911
You guys are a restaurant?
347
00:13:29,943 --> 00:13:31,953
-Yes.
-Like an oyster restaur--
348
00:13:31,979 --> 00:13:34,179
-We have oysters here,
an oyster bar and grill.
349
00:13:34,214 --> 00:13:38,124
-Oh, that sounds nice.
You don't run any...
350
00:13:38,151 --> 00:13:40,191
Okay. Thank you very much.
351
00:13:40,220 --> 00:13:42,960
-I'm gonna take
a big old swing.
352
00:13:42,990 --> 00:13:44,320
-Ooh.
353
00:13:44,357 --> 00:13:47,327
-Because I'm really excited
to say this sentence
354
00:13:47,360 --> 00:13:49,230
I get to say
if they answer the phone.
355
00:13:49,262 --> 00:13:51,362
-Oh. Okay.
-Hi, is this who I would call
356
00:13:51,398 --> 00:13:55,168
to speak to about
the Knights Templar?
357
00:13:55,202 --> 00:13:57,972
-Uh, yes.
358
00:14:00,307 --> 00:14:02,207
-Well, I'm calling
on behalf of a friend.
359
00:14:02,242 --> 00:14:03,482
I was just calling to find out
360
00:14:03,510 --> 00:14:05,950
what the application process
was,
361
00:14:05,979 --> 00:14:09,019
what kind of requirements
there were to join
the Knights Templar.
362
00:14:11,318 --> 00:14:13,088
Have to be a Mason.
-Yes.
363
00:14:13,120 --> 00:14:14,920
-Okay.
364
00:14:14,955 --> 00:14:19,125
Is there a good number
to call to join the Masons?
365
00:14:19,159 --> 00:14:22,429
-Um, I'm not sure.
366
00:14:22,462 --> 00:14:26,132
Um, give me one second.
-Okay, great. Thank you.
367
00:14:26,166 --> 00:14:30,366
-This is just a phone number
you can call!
368
00:14:30,403 --> 00:14:32,113
They know where
the Holy Grail is.
369
00:14:32,139 --> 00:14:33,969
And you're talking
to them on the phone!
370
00:14:34,007 --> 00:14:35,677
And their number was on Google!
-I know!
371
00:14:35,708 --> 00:14:37,508
Yes, hello.
I was just calling.
372
00:14:37,544 --> 00:14:39,984
Is this the Masons?
373
00:14:40,013 --> 00:14:43,283
-This is the Knights Templar...
[ Indistinct talking ]
374
00:14:45,118 --> 00:14:48,388
-Excellent. I have a friend
named Nathan who I'm
doing some research for.
375
00:14:48,421 --> 00:14:51,521
And what would Nathan need to do
to join the Masons?
376
00:14:51,558 --> 00:14:53,228
Let's start there.
377
00:14:53,260 --> 00:14:55,400
Oh.
378
00:14:55,428 --> 00:14:59,498
Is there any kind of physical
fitness requirement to it?
379
00:15:01,434 --> 00:15:04,074
Okay, Thank you so very much.
380
00:15:04,104 --> 00:15:06,074
-You're welcome.
Have a good night.
-You too. Bye.
381
00:15:07,340 --> 00:15:09,140
-What the fuck?
-What the fuck?
-What the fuck?
382
00:15:09,176 --> 00:15:11,276
-We just called
the fucking Knights Templar!
383
00:15:11,311 --> 00:15:13,351
-Wow! That went so much
better than I --
384
00:15:13,380 --> 00:15:15,980
-That went really good!
-That was so good!
385
00:15:16,016 --> 00:15:18,946
-Hey, Nathan. Just wanted to
hop in here and say,
386
00:15:18,986 --> 00:15:21,956
you remember that bit earlier
where we yelled at you
387
00:15:21,989 --> 00:15:24,319
and said bad things about you
being a toilet man
388
00:15:24,357 --> 00:15:26,157
who lives in a dumpster?
389
00:15:26,193 --> 00:15:28,233
That was just --
we're -- we were having fun.
390
00:15:28,261 --> 00:15:30,001
Now the episode's kind of
turning around.
391
00:15:30,030 --> 00:15:33,030
And so it -- I hope you can
take it in good humor.
392
00:15:33,066 --> 00:15:37,136
-You're fine. And thanks
for this great episode.
393
00:15:37,170 --> 00:15:39,270
-Justin, do you have anything
you wanna say to Nathan?
394
00:15:39,306 --> 00:15:41,106
-Well, I do wanna apologize
to the person
395
00:15:41,141 --> 00:15:43,141
who has the phone number
1-[bleep]-fartnow.
396
00:15:43,176 --> 00:15:44,436
-Yeah.
-Because you've certainly got
397
00:15:44,477 --> 00:15:46,747
some confusing calls
in the previous days.
398
00:15:46,779 --> 00:15:49,219
[ Classical music plays ]
399
00:15:52,485 --> 00:15:54,285
-Here.
400
00:15:54,321 --> 00:15:56,561
-My mic just went inside me.
401
00:15:56,589 --> 00:15:58,289
Here's what I think.
402
00:15:58,325 --> 00:16:01,155
It seems very easy to start
your own secret society.
403
00:16:01,194 --> 00:16:03,204
-Yeah.
-I think let's do our own thing,
404
00:16:03,230 --> 00:16:05,470
be the biggest secret society
that ever existed in Huntington.
405
00:16:05,498 --> 00:16:08,068
Get the mayor involved,
get the -- some, you know,
406
00:16:08,101 --> 00:16:10,101
just have fun with the kids.
-Some chill-ass folks.
407
00:16:10,137 --> 00:16:13,367
-Yeah, just chill out and have
a good time as our own unit.
408
00:16:17,110 --> 00:16:18,410
-We're here at...
409
00:16:18,445 --> 00:16:20,105
Huntington's number-one
robe store,
410
00:16:20,147 --> 00:16:22,277
to try to find some robes
for our secret society.
411
00:16:22,315 --> 00:16:26,145
**
412
00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:43,100
-These are our secret-society
outfits.
413
00:16:43,136 --> 00:16:45,536
No, wait.
414
00:16:47,507 --> 00:16:50,107
These are our secret society
outfits.
415
00:16:50,143 --> 00:16:51,413
You look like a businessman
416
00:16:51,444 --> 00:16:53,814
with an extremely
specific fetish.
417
00:16:53,846 --> 00:16:55,646
-You look like a new kid
in Candyland
418
00:16:55,682 --> 00:16:58,422
that just steals Twizzlers.
-You look like a --
419
00:16:58,451 --> 00:17:02,491
a Vaudeville usher who's trying
for a management position.
420
00:17:02,522 --> 00:17:04,262
-Justin, you look like
a Halloween costume
421
00:17:04,291 --> 00:17:07,091
to represent farts
under a blanket.
422
00:17:07,127 --> 00:17:09,657
-Justin looks like some
rye bread that a cape got on.
423
00:17:09,696 --> 00:17:12,296
-You look like
if hepatitis was a person.
424
00:17:12,332 --> 00:17:15,032
-[ Laughing ]
425
00:17:16,836 --> 00:17:20,606
**
426
00:17:22,542 --> 00:17:24,442
Our preparations are complete.
427
00:17:24,477 --> 00:17:27,347
We're about to begin
our first meeting here
428
00:17:27,380 --> 00:17:30,180
at the Huntington Roll-A-Rama.
429
00:17:34,887 --> 00:17:37,157
-Hello and welcome.
-Welcome.
430
00:17:37,190 --> 00:17:40,260
-Maybe we should have been
more clear about robe type.
431
00:17:40,293 --> 00:17:42,463
-You look terrific.
-You look super spooky and good.
432
00:17:42,495 --> 00:17:44,425
-You look super good.
-Welcome, welcome.
433
00:17:44,464 --> 00:17:46,304
More bath robes. Damn it.
434
00:17:50,203 --> 00:17:55,183
-Initiates, are you prepared
to take a dark journey with us?
435
00:17:55,208 --> 00:17:59,248
We represent the ruling body
of K2,
436
00:17:59,279 --> 00:18:04,119
Knights Templar 2:
The Wacky Wizards.
437
00:18:04,151 --> 00:18:06,591
Everyone on Earth is a member.
438
00:18:06,619 --> 00:18:09,189
You could only opt out.
439
00:18:09,222 --> 00:18:13,232
If you wish to opt out,
this would be the moment.
440
00:18:15,628 --> 00:18:17,558
-Super cool.
-Sick. Yeah.
441
00:18:17,597 --> 00:18:19,327
-Yeah.
-One second.
442
00:18:19,366 --> 00:18:20,626
I think I'm getting feedback
443
00:18:20,667 --> 00:18:22,637
'cause I'm too close
to the speakers?
444
00:18:22,669 --> 00:18:24,739
-Are you ready?
-You ready?
-Yeah!
445
00:18:24,771 --> 00:18:26,371
-Are you guys ready?
446
00:18:28,208 --> 00:18:30,208
-I don't wanna do that
to everybody.
447
00:18:30,243 --> 00:18:31,613
-No, it feels really
dark, though.
448
00:18:31,644 --> 00:18:35,184
-You're going down.
Just give it a whirl!
449
00:18:35,215 --> 00:18:36,675
Let's reach harmonic unity!
450
00:18:36,716 --> 00:18:38,246
-All: Ahh!
451
00:18:43,590 --> 00:18:45,430
-Shit!
452
00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:48,498
-Now repeat after us.
-Hulkamania.
453
00:18:48,528 --> 00:18:50,428
-All: Hulkamania.
454
00:18:50,463 --> 00:18:51,733
-About to run.
455
00:18:51,764 --> 00:18:53,434
-All: About to run.
456
00:18:53,466 --> 00:18:54,626
-Why?
457
00:18:54,667 --> 00:18:56,267
-All: Why?
458
00:18:56,303 --> 00:18:57,743
-Ahh!
459
00:18:57,770 --> 00:19:01,440
-If you betray the Knights
Templar 2: Wacky Wizards...
460
00:19:01,474 --> 00:19:03,644
-All: I will have to kill you.
461
00:19:03,676 --> 00:19:07,546
-All: Ahh!
462
00:19:07,580 --> 00:19:09,520
I agree to sign the contract.
463
00:19:09,549 --> 00:19:12,319
I agree to sign the contract.
464
00:19:12,352 --> 00:19:14,622
I agree to sign the contract.
465
00:19:14,654 --> 00:19:16,294
I agree to sign the contract.
466
00:19:16,323 --> 00:19:17,663
-I agree to sign the contract.
467
00:19:17,690 --> 00:19:19,630
-I agree to sign the contract.
468
00:19:19,659 --> 00:19:22,199
-I agree to sign the contract.
-I agree to sign the contract.
469
00:19:22,229 --> 00:19:24,459
-I agree to sign the contract.
470
00:19:24,497 --> 00:19:25,667
-Nailed it.
471
00:19:25,698 --> 00:19:27,628
-All:
I agree to sign the contract!
472
00:19:27,667 --> 00:19:30,637
-Let the contracts be signed!
473
00:19:30,670 --> 00:19:31,800
-Just sign right there.
474
00:19:31,838 --> 00:19:33,508
-Just wherever the spirit
moves you.
475
00:19:33,540 --> 00:19:35,380
-And be ready to take over
the banks and stuff.
476
00:19:35,408 --> 00:19:37,338
Getting pretty pumped for that?
-I can get us in.
477
00:19:37,377 --> 00:19:38,547
-Cool.
-Oh, that's great.
478
00:19:38,578 --> 00:19:40,578
-What's size?
-Gentlemen's 12.
479
00:19:40,613 --> 00:19:42,683
-Gentlemen's 12.
-Gentlemen's 12.
480
00:19:42,715 --> 00:19:44,775
-Those are down here?
481
00:19:44,817 --> 00:19:47,417
-Welcome to the newest initiates
482
00:19:47,454 --> 00:19:51,364
of Knights Templar 2:
Wacky Wizards.
483
00:19:51,391 --> 00:19:55,231
Tomorrow we take over the banks.
484
00:19:55,262 --> 00:19:58,832
Tonight, we get wild!
485
00:19:58,865 --> 00:20:01,565
Music!
486
00:20:01,601 --> 00:20:05,341
**
487
00:20:09,476 --> 00:20:11,506
-Guys, come push me!
488
00:20:16,749 --> 00:20:19,219
That's an excellent job,
initiate!
489
00:20:24,391 --> 00:20:26,261
-We're cult leaders!
-We did it!
490
00:20:26,293 --> 00:20:28,363
-We're leading a cult!
-We have a cult!
491
00:20:33,633 --> 00:20:36,543
-The roller derby team
is coming in to practice.
492
00:20:36,569 --> 00:20:38,569
And it's 10:00,
and we should really go!
493
00:20:38,605 --> 00:20:40,335
Single-file line.
494
00:20:40,373 --> 00:20:42,613
-Everybody, be real safe.
Hey, there's pizza and cake.
495
00:20:42,642 --> 00:20:44,842
-Oh, my knees.
-It's okay.
496
00:20:44,877 --> 00:20:46,847
You did great out there.
-I just wanna say.
497
00:20:46,879 --> 00:20:48,779
I thought this episode was
gonna be kind of a stinkfire.
498
00:20:48,815 --> 00:20:51,345
And I think we actually did okay
with it here at the end.
499
00:20:51,384 --> 00:20:53,694
-Yeah, I mean we did the thing,
had a great time,
500
00:20:53,720 --> 00:20:56,860
had a few laughs,
learned some stuff.
501
00:20:59,091 --> 00:21:01,361
It went great!
-So there you have it, Nathan.
502
00:21:01,394 --> 00:21:03,464
A secret society is just a bunch
of people getting together,
503
00:21:03,496 --> 00:21:05,496
doing stuff, and then not
telling other people about it.
504
00:21:05,532 --> 00:21:07,732
So welcome to
our secret society.
505
00:21:07,767 --> 00:21:09,337
-Welcome to K2!
506
00:21:09,369 --> 00:21:10,739
By the way, I just remembered,
507
00:21:10,770 --> 00:21:12,640
we already filmed
the ending this episode.
508
00:21:12,672 --> 00:21:15,382
Take it away.
509
00:21:17,109 --> 00:21:19,579
-That was fun.
-Yeah, another great adventure.
510
00:21:19,612 --> 00:21:22,382
-Well, tell me about it.
What'd you guys get into today?
511
00:21:22,415 --> 00:21:23,775
-All right.
So here's the skinny.
512
00:21:23,816 --> 00:21:25,586
We haven't shot
the rest of the episode yet.
513
00:21:25,618 --> 00:21:27,688
So we don't know
what we got into today.
514
00:21:27,720 --> 00:21:29,390
Maybe it was funny.
Maybe it wasn't.
515
00:21:29,422 --> 00:21:30,662
-Why don't we do this?
516
00:21:30,690 --> 00:21:32,630
Instead of just guessing
at some shit we did...
517
00:21:32,659 --> 00:21:33,789
-Yeah.
-'Cause our comedy is
518
00:21:33,826 --> 00:21:36,396
so dynamic and random...
-So random!
519
00:21:36,429 --> 00:21:37,629
-...that we could
never get it right.
520
00:21:37,664 --> 00:21:38,904
What if we just move our mouths
and we
521
00:21:38,931 --> 00:21:40,671
ADR'd it, I think is what
it's called later?
522
00:21:40,700 --> 00:21:43,400
-That's the word.
-And so let's just get close-up.
523
00:21:43,436 --> 00:21:45,606
I'll start.
Boy, oh, boy.
524
00:21:45,638 --> 00:21:48,408
I had a lot of fun meeting
the Huntington Blues Society.
525
00:21:48,441 --> 00:21:50,411
And I loved hearing
their good music
526
00:21:50,443 --> 00:21:52,613
and their thoughtful answers
to our questions.
527
00:21:52,645 --> 00:21:55,745
-Thanks to Nathan, we
were able to grow as
brothers and as people.
528
00:21:55,782 --> 00:21:57,652
And now we're closer than ever!
529
00:21:57,684 --> 00:21:59,494
-I'm gonna interrupt and talk
about what a great time I had
530
00:21:59,519 --> 00:22:01,389
with you and you.
No more messing around.
531
00:22:01,421 --> 00:22:03,521
You know I love these guys.
I got something on my pants.
532
00:22:03,556 --> 00:22:05,486
Anyway, this was
the best episode ever.
533
00:22:05,525 --> 00:22:06,725
We got to to the library.
534
00:22:06,759 --> 00:22:08,659
We made our own secret society.
535
00:22:08,695 --> 00:22:10,695
We got to go roller skating.
It was the best day of my life.
536
00:22:10,730 --> 00:22:12,830
And I owe it all
to these jokers.
537
00:22:12,865 --> 00:22:15,435
-Did you catch every ARG clue?
538
00:22:15,468 --> 00:22:18,438
Go to my youngest son's
seventh word/my youngest son's
539
00:22:18,471 --> 00:22:21,611
fifteenth word .pizza
to unlock your prize.
540
00:22:21,641 --> 00:22:24,381
-Anyway, that's gonna
do it for us. Thanks to...
541
00:22:24,411 --> 00:22:26,451
all the new initiates
of our secret society.
542
00:22:26,479 --> 00:22:29,849
And we'll see you next time,
unless we died in this one.
543
00:22:29,882 --> 00:22:35,422
[ Warped talking ]
544
00:22:35,455 --> 00:22:36,855
-You can't pull the strings
on the government
545
00:22:36,889 --> 00:22:38,559
unless you're connected
to the government.
546
00:22:38,591 --> 00:22:44,401
-You need bank people, mayors.
547
00:22:44,431 --> 00:22:45,971
-Just join, Steve!
-Steve, will you please join?
548
00:22:45,998 --> 00:22:47,868
-We really need this, Steve.
-Steve, just join!
549
00:22:47,900 --> 00:22:49,600
-I'm pretty busy.
I'm pretty busy.
550
00:22:49,636 --> 00:22:52,666
-Listen.
Have you ever wanted to get in
551
00:22:52,705 --> 00:22:54,905
on the ground floor
of something?
552
00:22:54,941 --> 00:22:56,611
-Plastics.
-Plastics.
553
00:22:56,643 --> 00:22:58,413
-Plastics, exactly.
41730
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