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1
00:00:06,107 --> 00:00:08,337
-Marker.
-All right, quiet on set.
2
00:00:08,376 --> 00:00:11,146
This is "My Brother, My Brother,
and Me" season one, episode one.
3
00:00:11,179 --> 00:00:13,309
All right, this is
the cold open. Action.
4
00:00:13,347 --> 00:00:14,447
-Oh, God.
-What?
5
00:00:14,482 --> 00:00:16,622
-You can't just yell "Go."
6
00:00:16,650 --> 00:00:18,150
-Like, do stuff?
7
00:00:18,186 --> 00:00:19,516
-Were we supposed
to write something?
8
00:00:19,553 --> 00:00:21,423
-It's not, this isn't it yet.
9
00:00:21,455 --> 00:00:23,215
-Do these, are these cameras
equipped with the technology
10
00:00:23,257 --> 00:00:24,557
where we could reach out and --
11
00:00:24,592 --> 00:00:26,462
-I know the government has it.
12
00:00:26,494 --> 00:00:28,164
-A Morgan Freeman narration
13
00:00:28,196 --> 00:00:30,126
over, like,
these three brothers...
14
00:00:30,164 --> 00:00:31,174
-Just watch one.
15
00:00:31,199 --> 00:00:32,499
-Just watch one episode.
16
00:00:32,533 --> 00:00:34,543
-Chuckle up.
-Chuckle up?
17
00:00:34,568 --> 00:00:36,238
-It's like buckle up
but with laughter.
18
00:00:36,270 --> 00:00:37,540
-We should have
made something up.
19
00:00:37,571 --> 00:00:39,411
-Can we start the TV show over?
20
00:00:39,440 --> 00:00:42,440
[ Mid-tempo theme music plays ]
21
00:00:46,180 --> 00:00:48,420
-We're the McElroy brothers.
22
00:00:48,449 --> 00:00:52,189
Please enjoy our show,
won't you?
23
00:00:56,590 --> 00:00:59,430
-The McElroy brothers
are not experts,
24
00:00:59,460 --> 00:01:01,860
and their advice
should never be followed.
25
00:01:01,895 --> 00:01:04,495
They're just three brothers
who created a podcast,
26
00:01:04,532 --> 00:01:06,832
and now they've returned
to their hometown
27
00:01:06,867 --> 00:01:08,467
to tape a TV show.
28
00:01:08,502 --> 00:01:11,142
Also, this show isn't for kids,
29
00:01:11,172 --> 00:01:13,172
which I mention
only so you babies
30
00:01:13,207 --> 00:01:16,337
out there know
how cool you are for watching.
31
00:01:16,377 --> 00:01:19,247
What's up, you cool baby?
32
00:01:19,280 --> 00:01:23,880
**
33
00:01:23,917 --> 00:01:26,187
* It's familiar
34
00:01:26,220 --> 00:01:30,120
* But not too familiar
35
00:01:30,158 --> 00:01:33,888
* But not too not familiar
36
00:01:33,927 --> 00:01:37,127
* It's a new craze
37
00:01:37,165 --> 00:01:39,225
[ Indistinct singing ]
38
00:01:52,946 --> 00:01:55,716
-Hello and welcome to "My
Brother, My Brother, and Me,"
39
00:01:55,749 --> 00:01:57,419
an advice show
for the modern era.
40
00:01:57,451 --> 00:01:59,391
I'm your oldest brother,
Justin McElroy.
41
00:01:59,420 --> 00:02:01,320
-I'm your middlest brother,
Travis McElroy.
42
00:02:01,355 --> 00:02:03,415
-And I'm your sweet baby
brother, Griffin McElroy.
43
00:02:03,457 --> 00:02:05,587
-We used to make a podcast,
but then we quit,
44
00:02:05,626 --> 00:02:08,896
and we come here to where
the real money is, streaming TV.
45
00:02:08,929 --> 00:02:10,399
-We get paid...
46
00:02:10,431 --> 00:02:15,241
$10...per...show.
47
00:02:15,269 --> 00:02:17,639
-Uh-oh, bad deal.
48
00:02:17,671 --> 00:02:19,511
Griffin, what are some
of the big changes
49
00:02:19,540 --> 00:02:22,940
you've made in the translation
from podcast to television?
50
00:02:22,976 --> 00:02:25,906
-I'm glad you asked, Justin.
Got a whole new body.
51
00:02:25,946 --> 00:02:28,516
Full body transfer, all of it.
52
00:02:28,549 --> 00:02:33,749
Head, brain, ears, ding dong --
that one was important.
53
00:02:33,787 --> 00:02:35,687
-Tushie?
-The tushie is great,
54
00:02:35,723 --> 00:02:37,263
thank you, Travis.
55
00:02:37,291 --> 00:02:38,491
-Who is the tushie by?
56
00:02:38,526 --> 00:02:43,756
-The tushie is
by David Hyde Pierce.
57
00:02:43,797 --> 00:02:46,627
-It's the David Hyde Pierce
model.
58
00:02:46,667 --> 00:02:48,537
-Okay, perfect.
That's a very good one.
59
00:02:48,569 --> 00:02:50,539
One of the biggest changes
I would say is that
60
00:02:50,571 --> 00:02:52,771
because we're on TV,
61
00:02:52,806 --> 00:02:56,436
which lawyers actually watch
instead of making a podcast,
62
00:02:56,477 --> 00:03:03,277
we are discouraged from using
any brand names or proper nouns.
63
00:03:03,317 --> 00:03:06,287
-It's a real tricky dick
because, like, you know,
64
00:03:06,320 --> 00:03:07,690
we go on these great runs
65
00:03:07,721 --> 00:03:11,631
where it's just like
Taco Bell, Sprees, Tastations.
66
00:03:11,659 --> 00:03:15,459
Instead it's got to be
burrito zone,
67
00:03:15,496 --> 00:03:19,296
sugar pills, dead candy.
68
00:03:19,333 --> 00:03:21,303
-Yeah, and that's how you know.
69
00:03:21,335 --> 00:03:22,995
-That's how you know
what we're talking about.
70
00:03:23,036 --> 00:03:24,666
So apologies --
71
00:03:24,705 --> 00:03:26,265
it's going to get confusing,
but it's confusing for us.
72
00:03:26,307 --> 00:03:27,677
It's our first TV show.
73
00:03:27,708 --> 00:03:28,808
-Yeah, and one thing
that hasn't changed, though,
74
00:03:28,842 --> 00:03:30,382
is we still give advice here.
75
00:03:30,411 --> 00:03:32,311
We asked our listeners
for questions,
76
00:03:32,346 --> 00:03:35,716
real life problems
that we could really fix here
77
00:03:35,749 --> 00:03:38,249
in our hometown of Huntington,
West Virginia.
78
00:03:38,286 --> 00:03:39,786
The first one comes to us
from Libby,
79
00:03:39,820 --> 00:03:42,460
and it goes a little
something like this.
80
00:03:42,490 --> 00:03:44,830
"Hey, brothers,
I'm starting college this fall
81
00:03:44,858 --> 00:03:46,588
and just met up with my roommate
to discuss
82
00:03:46,627 --> 00:03:48,397
what we're bringing
to the dorm room.
83
00:03:48,429 --> 00:03:50,659
She said she has a small
collection of haunted artifacts
84
00:03:50,698 --> 00:03:52,398
she wants to bring.
85
00:03:52,433 --> 00:03:54,033
I really don't want to spend
the next school year
86
00:03:54,067 --> 00:03:56,767
living in a 12 by 20-foot room
with multiple ghosts.
87
00:03:56,804 --> 00:03:58,574
So how should I handle this?"
88
00:03:58,606 --> 00:04:00,466
That's, again,
from Libby from Milwaukee.
89
00:04:00,508 --> 00:04:03,378
-Do you think that this
future roommate was inspired
90
00:04:03,411 --> 00:04:05,551
by the scene
at the end of "Toy Story 3"
91
00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:07,279
where they take the dolls
92
00:04:07,315 --> 00:04:08,615
and they're just afraid
all their haunted dolls
93
00:04:08,649 --> 00:04:09,819
would be like,
"You're going away to college,
94
00:04:09,850 --> 00:04:11,390
you're not taking us?"
95
00:04:11,419 --> 00:04:12,589
-Stop.
-Okay.
96
00:04:12,620 --> 00:04:15,060
-Stop the television show.
97
00:04:15,088 --> 00:04:17,628
Do you think all of the toys
in "Toy Story"
98
00:04:17,658 --> 00:04:19,658
are possessed
by different ghosts?
99
00:04:19,693 --> 00:04:21,863
-Question -- do they not move
around when no one is watching?
100
00:04:21,895 --> 00:04:23,755
Do they not scare
the shit out of Syd?
101
00:04:23,797 --> 00:04:26,467
That seems like a pretty scary
ghost thing to do.
102
00:04:26,500 --> 00:04:27,700
-[ Laughs ]
103
00:04:27,735 --> 00:04:30,635
You see, Jessie,
Woody is a dead cowboy
104
00:04:30,671 --> 00:04:32,471
that lives in a cowboy man.
105
00:04:32,506 --> 00:04:33,806
-Other than that, Griffin,
106
00:04:33,841 --> 00:04:35,741
it's that all toys
are just alive all the time.
107
00:04:35,776 --> 00:04:37,376
Which one makes more sense?
108
00:04:37,411 --> 00:04:40,511
-At what point does
the Toy Story life begin?
109
00:04:40,548 --> 00:04:41,878
-Is all plastic alive, Griffin?
110
00:04:41,915 --> 00:04:43,575
-It's two on one right now
111
00:04:43,617 --> 00:04:45,387
of you guys suggesting
that my thing,
112
00:04:45,419 --> 00:04:48,089
that toys are magic and alive,
is crazier than yours
113
00:04:48,121 --> 00:04:51,361
that Woody was killed
in a terrible passion.
114
00:04:51,392 --> 00:04:52,592
-You don't know how he gently
115
00:04:52,626 --> 00:04:54,496
slipped away
peacefully in his sleep,
116
00:04:54,528 --> 00:04:56,498
but probably not --
he seems to have an edge.
117
00:04:56,530 --> 00:04:59,600
So, anyway, Libby, don't worry,
we've got you covered.
118
00:04:59,633 --> 00:05:01,673
We're going to come for you --
No.
119
00:05:01,702 --> 00:05:03,742
-No, we're not!
120
00:05:03,771 --> 00:05:05,441
-We're not.
You're fine.
121
00:05:05,473 --> 00:05:09,613
[ Classical music plays ]
122
00:05:09,643 --> 00:05:12,813
-We're risking life and limb
to help Libby
123
00:05:12,846 --> 00:05:14,876
in her haunted dorm room
situation,
124
00:05:14,915 --> 00:05:16,745
but first we need a test case,
125
00:05:16,784 --> 00:05:21,524
an average unhaunted dorm room
here at Marshall University.
126
00:05:21,555 --> 00:05:22,915
-Let's go.
127
00:05:22,956 --> 00:05:24,726
I feel like that was
a pretty good intro.
128
00:05:24,758 --> 00:05:26,358
-I thought we did
a really good job.
129
00:05:26,394 --> 00:05:28,134
I'm very proud of us.
-They believed it.
130
00:05:28,161 --> 00:05:29,861
I'm sensing a problem.
131
00:05:29,897 --> 00:05:33,467
The dorm room as we found it
is very pristine and unhaunted.
132
00:05:33,501 --> 00:05:36,701
It doesn't feel like
Libby's dorm room.
133
00:05:36,737 --> 00:05:38,367
-Let's make this
the kind of dorm room
134
00:05:38,406 --> 00:05:40,836
that us 29-plus-year-old-men
would live in,
135
00:05:40,874 --> 00:05:42,484
in the women's-only dorm.
136
00:05:42,510 --> 00:05:45,650
-Absolutely.
-I got the door.
137
00:05:45,679 --> 00:05:47,849
-What are you doing?
-L-shaped bed.
138
00:05:47,881 --> 00:05:49,781
-These two people are going
to sleep head to head?
139
00:05:49,817 --> 00:05:52,587
-Yeah.
-It's a wish blanket.
140
00:05:52,620 --> 00:05:54,890
This is how two roommates
become one friend.
141
00:05:54,922 --> 00:05:57,832
-Perfect.
-Oh, I saw panties.
142
00:05:57,858 --> 00:06:00,928
This is the most demented design
that anybody has ever done.
143
00:06:00,961 --> 00:06:04,631
I think this room is kid tested,
mother approved, ghost free.
144
00:06:04,665 --> 00:06:06,725
Let's see if we can't
spook it up
145
00:06:06,767 --> 00:06:08,967
a little bit
with some delightful ghouls.
146
00:06:09,002 --> 00:06:11,612
[ Classical music plays ]
147
00:06:14,908 --> 00:06:16,778
Just off the bat, hold on.
-Yes.
148
00:06:16,810 --> 00:06:19,980
-Before we get started.
-Okay.
149
00:06:20,013 --> 00:06:22,583
Quick prayer?
-No.
150
00:06:22,616 --> 00:06:24,416
-Okay.
-I just want to say
151
00:06:24,452 --> 00:06:25,922
I feel something in here.
152
00:06:25,953 --> 00:06:27,923
-Do you?
-It's great prices.
153
00:06:27,955 --> 00:06:29,415
Let's do it.
154
00:06:29,457 --> 00:06:30,587
-Okay, great.
155
00:06:33,694 --> 00:06:35,764
-Water?
156
00:06:35,796 --> 00:06:38,666
Hi, everybody,
it's me, Justin McElroy.
157
00:06:38,699 --> 00:06:41,499
We just wrapped up
on our whole ghost episode,
158
00:06:41,535 --> 00:06:43,495
and it occurred to me
159
00:06:43,537 --> 00:06:45,507
we didn't put any real spooks
or scares in there,
160
00:06:45,539 --> 00:06:47,909
but don't worry,
I'm a TV professional.
161
00:06:47,941 --> 00:06:50,611
What I'm going to do is I'm
going to film some jump scares,
162
00:06:50,644 --> 00:06:53,214
and then through
some edit bay magic,
163
00:06:53,246 --> 00:06:55,716
we're going to put them
back into the show for you
164
00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:57,649
so you're not going to know
when they're coming
165
00:06:57,685 --> 00:07:00,445
but they're going to be
pretty fucking scary.
166
00:07:00,488 --> 00:07:02,458
Now, here is my warning to you.
167
00:07:02,490 --> 00:07:06,590
If you watch the rest
of this episode,
168
00:07:06,627 --> 00:07:08,897
you'd better do it
with an empty bladder
169
00:07:08,929 --> 00:07:11,569
because once the spookmaster
general is done with you,
170
00:07:11,599 --> 00:07:13,929
you're going to piss
your fucking pants.
171
00:07:13,967 --> 00:07:15,237
Okay, back to the show.
172
00:07:15,268 --> 00:07:17,038
Jump scare!
173
00:07:17,070 --> 00:07:18,870
I'm too embarrassed to say it,
174
00:07:18,906 --> 00:07:21,036
but we're looking for stuff
that's kind of haunted.
175
00:07:21,074 --> 00:07:23,544
-Do you know if anything here
176
00:07:23,577 --> 00:07:25,807
has been owned by someone
who has died tragically?
177
00:07:25,846 --> 00:07:27,516
-Travis!
178
00:07:27,548 --> 00:07:29,548
-I know but, like,
I want to just cut -- okay.
179
00:07:29,583 --> 00:07:30,683
-You know, I have
a rocking horse up there
180
00:07:30,718 --> 00:07:32,218
that looks like a few children
181
00:07:32,252 --> 00:07:34,022
may have fallen off of him
and bumped their head.
182
00:07:34,054 --> 00:07:35,564
-That's good.
-Sick.
183
00:07:35,589 --> 00:07:36,859
-Nice.
184
00:07:36,890 --> 00:07:39,860
-All right, so far,
this has not gone great.
185
00:07:39,893 --> 00:07:41,933
-Oh, I don't like that at all.
186
00:07:41,962 --> 00:07:44,902
-There's a very real chance
that that is not a doll.
187
00:07:44,932 --> 00:07:47,802
-Yeah, that's just somebody
who got frozen in time up there.
188
00:07:47,835 --> 00:07:51,565
Like, that one is haunted,
but I'm not getting the ladder.
189
00:07:51,605 --> 00:07:53,065
-I'm looking at these bad boys.
190
00:07:53,106 --> 00:07:55,036
You could bake a potato
with all the kid energy
191
00:07:55,075 --> 00:07:56,935
coming off these ones.
192
00:07:56,977 --> 00:07:58,647
-They're radiating a lot
of not good energy.
193
00:07:58,679 --> 00:08:00,949
-Pros and cons, con one --
hate touching them.
194
00:08:00,981 --> 00:08:02,951
-Okay.
-Pro -- they're 20 bucks.
195
00:08:02,983 --> 00:08:04,653
-[ Laughs ]
196
00:08:04,685 --> 00:08:06,045
-I want to make a sales pitch
for the turtle,
197
00:08:06,086 --> 00:08:08,656
and I want you boys to give me
a fair shake here.
198
00:08:08,689 --> 00:08:10,019
-Okay.
-Things about turtle I like --
199
00:08:10,057 --> 00:08:13,087
handmade, kids, yes,
all that kid energy is in there.
200
00:08:13,126 --> 00:08:16,026
You need objects in a dorm room
that have multiple uses.
201
00:08:16,063 --> 00:08:18,003
This could be a stool.
202
00:08:18,031 --> 00:08:19,971
-Could you hide your weed
in there?
203
00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:21,970
-Yes.
-Yes, confirmed.
204
00:08:22,002 --> 00:08:23,872
-Because it says on the back for
the kid [speaks indistinctly]
205
00:08:23,904 --> 00:08:25,674
so we just go ahead
and take that away
206
00:08:25,706 --> 00:08:27,776
from the kid on a comedy show.
207
00:08:27,808 --> 00:08:29,078
-It's a good chance
it won't be on sale,
208
00:08:29,109 --> 00:08:32,009
in case I'll buy it
with Griffin money.
209
00:08:32,045 --> 00:08:33,105
-Weak.
210
00:08:33,146 --> 00:08:35,546
-Ooh, now we're talking.
-Okay.
211
00:08:35,583 --> 00:08:37,753
-I'm getting a lot
of kid energy.
212
00:08:37,785 --> 00:08:39,885
-I feel a lot of kid
energy off that boy.
213
00:08:39,920 --> 00:08:41,760
There's a chance that someone,
214
00:08:41,789 --> 00:08:44,659
probably an older fan of art
in their 70s, is going to be
215
00:08:44,692 --> 00:08:46,032
watching this show
and just --
216
00:08:46,059 --> 00:08:49,029
[ Speaks indistinctly ]
217
00:08:49,062 --> 00:08:51,902
-We have -- I'm so afraid
to touch everything.
218
00:08:51,932 --> 00:08:53,902
We've got the kids'
rocking chair,
219
00:08:53,934 --> 00:08:55,644
the rocking horse here.
220
00:08:55,669 --> 00:08:57,939
We've got a boy, the shoes.
221
00:08:57,971 --> 00:09:00,111
-I saw Mac the turtle
back there.
222
00:09:00,140 --> 00:09:02,080
-Mac the turtle
is not for sale.
223
00:09:02,109 --> 00:09:05,609
-Say goodbye to Mac, Griffin.
-$500.
224
00:09:05,646 --> 00:09:08,976
-He's not for sale.
-$600.
225
00:09:09,016 --> 00:09:10,646
-Not for sale.
226
00:09:10,684 --> 00:09:12,654
-$600 for Mac?
227
00:09:12,686 --> 00:09:14,616
Can I ask you another question?
-Yes.
228
00:09:14,655 --> 00:09:18,785
-Can I come to your store once
a week and just hold him?
229
00:09:18,826 --> 00:09:20,726
Mac, I wish I could
bring you with me, buddy,
230
00:09:20,761 --> 00:09:22,161
but they wouldn't
let me buy you.
231
00:09:22,195 --> 00:09:24,595
That's just how life
works sometimes,
232
00:09:24,632 --> 00:09:27,172
and maybe some day fate
will bring us together.
233
00:09:27,200 --> 00:09:30,940
I think let's have
our favorite bedtime ritual
234
00:09:30,971 --> 00:09:33,811
before we have to part ways,
doesn't that sound good?
235
00:09:33,841 --> 00:09:36,911
-"Where's Mr. Tuffy?
236
00:09:36,944 --> 00:09:41,754
He put down his lunch box
and gave them all a hug.
237
00:09:41,782 --> 00:09:46,122
Sue pulled his cap off
and put it on her head.
238
00:09:46,153 --> 00:09:48,693
'Are you going to be
a fireman on a train
239
00:09:48,722 --> 00:09:51,832
like I am, Sue?' Daddy asked?
240
00:09:51,859 --> 00:09:54,629
Girls can't work
for the railroad."
241
00:09:54,662 --> 00:09:57,702
[ Laughs ]
When is this book from?
242
00:09:57,731 --> 00:10:00,731
[ Classical music plays ]
243
00:10:02,770 --> 00:10:04,770
-So we're in need
of some insight
244
00:10:04,805 --> 00:10:07,875
about interior decoration
and haunted stuff in the room,
245
00:10:07,908 --> 00:10:10,078
so we went to, like, you know,
246
00:10:10,110 --> 00:10:12,810
the property experts,
the Property Brothers.
247
00:10:12,846 --> 00:10:14,946
Hello, Property Brothers.
-Hello, hello.
248
00:10:14,982 --> 00:10:16,682
-We only have brothers
on this show.
249
00:10:16,717 --> 00:10:18,847
Brothers only.
-Brothers only show.
250
00:10:18,886 --> 00:10:21,416
-Also, this is our warning
shot across your bow --
251
00:10:21,454 --> 00:10:23,824
watch the fucking
TV brother throne
252
00:10:23,857 --> 00:10:25,657
because we're coming
and we're hungry,
253
00:10:25,693 --> 00:10:27,193
and there's three of us.
254
00:10:27,227 --> 00:10:30,427
-It takes three of you
to make up two of us.
255
00:10:30,463 --> 00:10:32,033
-That's a fair --
-Between the three of us
256
00:10:32,065 --> 00:10:34,195
we almost have
enough handsome as one of you.
257
00:10:34,234 --> 00:10:36,444
-That's actually very kind math
on your part.
258
00:10:36,469 --> 00:10:38,069
I'm going to list
a couple things
259
00:10:38,105 --> 00:10:39,805
that we picked up at the store,
260
00:10:39,840 --> 00:10:41,070
and I'm hoping you guys
can maybe give us
261
00:10:41,108 --> 00:10:42,408
some placement ideas.
262
00:10:42,442 --> 00:10:45,052
One is sort of
a very old portrait
263
00:10:45,078 --> 00:10:46,808
of a boy who may be dead.
264
00:10:46,847 --> 00:10:48,017
Where does that fit in?
265
00:10:48,048 --> 00:10:50,778
-If it's one of
the bunk bed dorm rooms,
266
00:10:50,818 --> 00:10:53,918
then have it on the underside
of the upper bunk,
267
00:10:53,954 --> 00:10:56,694
so when the lower
bunk person wakes up,
268
00:10:56,724 --> 00:10:57,934
the boy is staring at them.
269
00:10:57,958 --> 00:10:59,688
-I'm worried about
the mental picture,
270
00:10:59,727 --> 00:11:01,857
though, of if the person
on the top bunk is getting busy,
271
00:11:01,895 --> 00:11:03,425
the boy picture is shaking
272
00:11:03,463 --> 00:11:05,273
and the person on the bottom
bunk having to look up.
273
00:11:05,298 --> 00:11:08,738
You'd have to have a rule --
if this boy's a-rattlin',
274
00:11:08,769 --> 00:11:10,169
you'd best get skeedaddlin'.
275
00:11:10,203 --> 00:11:12,013
[ Laughter ]
276
00:11:12,039 --> 00:11:14,109
-Then you just need to have
that disclaimer on the door,
277
00:11:14,141 --> 00:11:16,911
and then you're fine.
-So, let's talk about value.
278
00:11:16,944 --> 00:11:19,854
If Libby sold her dorm room,
that would be insane.
279
00:11:19,880 --> 00:11:21,450
It doesn't work like that
at all.
280
00:11:21,481 --> 00:11:23,221
You can't sell
your own dorm room.
281
00:11:23,250 --> 00:11:27,190
But how does having something
super haunted affect value?
282
00:11:27,220 --> 00:11:30,220
-If you were to be able
to sell your dorm room,
283
00:11:30,257 --> 00:11:32,257
I would just suggest you have
284
00:11:32,292 --> 00:11:33,932
to disclose something
like this.
285
00:11:33,961 --> 00:11:36,061
You have to use the right
verbiage, so own it
286
00:11:36,096 --> 00:11:37,966
and just say, you know,
it's famous.
287
00:11:37,998 --> 00:11:40,728
This is a famous --
somebody is paying
288
00:11:40,768 --> 00:11:43,138
a good price
for a famous location --
289
00:11:43,170 --> 00:11:45,270
People are dying to get
into this dorm room.
290
00:11:45,305 --> 00:11:46,935
-That's good.
291
00:11:46,974 --> 00:11:48,484
-Obviously,
I'm the real estate agent.
292
00:11:48,508 --> 00:11:49,808
-[ Laughs ]
293
00:11:49,843 --> 00:11:52,153
[ Classical music plays ]
294
00:11:55,148 --> 00:11:57,818
-Hey, guys.
-Hello, Mr. Mayor.
295
00:11:57,851 --> 00:11:59,951
Thank you for meeting us.
-It's good to see you again.
296
00:11:59,987 --> 00:12:01,317
-I understand that you
all needed to talk
297
00:12:01,354 --> 00:12:03,094
but nobody was able
to get out of you
298
00:12:03,123 --> 00:12:05,493
what you needed to talk about,
so what's going on?
299
00:12:05,525 --> 00:12:08,755
-We've prepared sort of
a -- I didn't know
300
00:12:08,796 --> 00:12:10,096
if you had these handy,
301
00:12:10,130 --> 00:12:11,930
but we made a ghost permit.
302
00:12:11,965 --> 00:12:13,165
[ All talking ]
303
00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:14,530
-This is for smashing ghouls.
304
00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:16,097
-And this doesn't provide us
305
00:12:16,136 --> 00:12:19,206
with broad sort of paranormal
killing powers.
306
00:12:19,239 --> 00:12:21,209
It's just ghoul smashing.
307
00:12:21,241 --> 00:12:24,181
-A special issue permit
of ghost hunting?
308
00:12:24,211 --> 00:12:26,081
-Yes.
309
00:12:26,113 --> 00:12:27,953
-Per the decree from the Office
of The Mayor of Huntington,
310
00:12:27,981 --> 00:12:29,221
West Virginia --
311
00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:32,049
Griffin, Ghost Auctioner?
312
00:12:32,085 --> 00:12:33,245
-Ghost-ecutioner.
313
00:12:33,286 --> 00:12:34,856
I do realize
that Justin probably
314
00:12:34,888 --> 00:12:36,188
wrote it down
in a confusing way.
315
00:12:36,223 --> 00:12:38,333
-Travis "Weirdo Beardo" McElroy.
316
00:12:38,358 --> 00:12:40,158
-Nailed it, got that one.
317
00:12:40,193 --> 00:12:42,233
-And Justin
"Big Muscles" McElroy.
318
00:12:42,262 --> 00:12:44,262
-Mayor said it.
That's legal, everybody.
319
00:12:44,297 --> 00:12:47,097
-"Are allowed to smash ghouls
in and around
320
00:12:47,134 --> 00:12:48,574
the City of Huntington,
West Virginia.
321
00:12:48,601 --> 00:12:51,001
They will not be punished
for ghoul smashing
322
00:12:51,038 --> 00:12:56,838
and may do whatever it takes
to smash the ghouls, the Mayor."
323
00:12:56,877 --> 00:12:58,877
-And then there's a little
space there to sign it
324
00:12:58,912 --> 00:13:01,552
to make it an official decree
or permit or law.
325
00:13:01,581 --> 00:13:03,281
-Here's what I'm saying,
Mayor Williams,
326
00:13:03,316 --> 00:13:05,016
if I may call you
Mayor Williams.
327
00:13:05,052 --> 00:13:07,152
This could be a defining moment
of your term.
328
00:13:07,187 --> 00:13:08,887
There's a pen on your desk.
329
00:13:08,922 --> 00:13:11,222
There's a permit next to it.
There's a camera here.
330
00:13:14,394 --> 00:13:17,834
-Well, why don't
we not sign this,
331
00:13:17,865 --> 00:13:20,295
whatever you all are doing
you all keep it to yourself.
332
00:13:20,333 --> 00:13:21,873
-And we won't be
punished for it.
333
00:13:21,902 --> 00:13:23,042
-And I have a feeling that
334
00:13:23,070 --> 00:13:24,400
nobody is going to
notice it anyway.
335
00:13:24,437 --> 00:13:26,937
-[ Groaning ]
336
00:13:29,242 --> 00:13:31,112
Jump scare.
337
00:13:31,144 --> 00:13:33,384
[ Classical music playing ]
338
00:13:38,218 --> 00:13:40,318
-Hi, Daddy.
-Hi, guys. Hi.
339
00:13:40,353 --> 00:13:42,593
-That was
a really natural wave.
340
00:13:42,622 --> 00:13:44,162
If I remember correctly,
341
00:13:44,191 --> 00:13:46,091
you have a very good
college roommate story
342
00:13:46,126 --> 00:13:48,326
that I was wondering
if you could rehash for us,
343
00:13:48,361 --> 00:13:50,131
for the roommate
that disappeared.
344
00:13:50,163 --> 00:13:53,173
I know it doesn't paint you
in the best light maybe.
345
00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:55,100
-Well, a Marshall
football player
346
00:13:55,135 --> 00:13:58,335
who was in the adjoining room
to me didn't come back
347
00:13:58,371 --> 00:14:00,071
for the second semester.
348
00:14:00,107 --> 00:14:02,077
And I mean,
he just didn't come back.
349
00:14:02,109 --> 00:14:05,109
-He ghosted on you.
-He left all of his clothes,
350
00:14:05,145 --> 00:14:06,405
all of his textbooks,
351
00:14:06,446 --> 00:14:09,216
all of his different
bric a brac,
352
00:14:09,249 --> 00:14:12,249
so I adopted that room.
353
00:14:12,285 --> 00:14:15,215
-That's a fun verb
that you used there.
354
00:14:15,255 --> 00:14:18,225
-After selling all of his shit.
355
00:14:18,258 --> 00:14:21,088
-There it is.
-What the fuck, Fagan?
356
00:14:21,128 --> 00:14:24,328
-Hey, he went back to Bermuda!
He lived in Bermuda.
357
00:14:24,364 --> 00:14:26,434
-Dad, that sounds like
a euphemism
358
00:14:26,466 --> 00:14:28,896
someone used for "died."
359
00:14:28,936 --> 00:14:32,066
-No, he went and he was
never coming back, so we sold --
360
00:14:32,105 --> 00:14:34,005
Did you kill him?
-This was the '70s.
361
00:14:34,041 --> 00:14:35,341
-No-No.
362
00:14:35,375 --> 00:14:36,335
-Hey, Dad, did you kill a man?
363
00:14:36,376 --> 00:14:38,046
-Did you kill a man
364
00:14:38,078 --> 00:14:40,448
to sell his fucking
Steely Dan records for $8?
365
00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:42,420
Daddy?
-Daddy, you can tell us.
366
00:14:42,449 --> 00:14:44,119
Listen, no one is watching.
367
00:14:44,151 --> 00:14:46,321
This is just Internet TV.
No one is watching this.
368
00:14:46,353 --> 00:14:49,193
-Hey, guys, turn
the cameras off. Wink.
369
00:14:49,222 --> 00:14:50,362
-He had it coming.
370
00:14:50,390 --> 00:14:51,990
-I knew it.
-He had it coming.
371
00:14:52,025 --> 00:14:53,955
-Everything that we've done
here so far
372
00:14:53,994 --> 00:14:56,004
has been a very elaborate
sting operation
373
00:14:56,029 --> 00:14:57,929
to get you to confess
to that crime.
374
00:14:57,965 --> 00:15:00,365
In fact, I've got to show you,
I'm wearing a wire.
375
00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:02,370
-[ Laughs ]
376
00:15:02,402 --> 00:15:05,212
-Ow.
[ Classical music plays ]
377
00:15:05,238 --> 00:15:08,708
-We tried our very best
to get some haunted artifacts
378
00:15:08,741 --> 00:15:10,441
to put into the dorm room,
379
00:15:10,477 --> 00:15:15,277
but just in case, I wanted
to have a little bit of backup.
380
00:15:15,315 --> 00:15:19,285
A little bit of guaranteed,
100%,
381
00:15:19,319 --> 00:15:21,419
definitely haunted backup.
382
00:15:21,454 --> 00:15:24,294
-A ghoul in the hole.
-A ghoul in the hole...
383
00:15:24,324 --> 00:15:28,304
[ Imitates beeping ]
384
00:15:28,328 --> 00:15:29,528
-It's a long one.
385
00:15:29,562 --> 00:15:32,032
-Haunted doll watch.
386
00:15:32,065 --> 00:15:34,425
That's right, I combed eBay
387
00:15:34,467 --> 00:15:38,307
to find the most haunted-
sounding doll possible.
388
00:15:38,338 --> 00:15:41,468
-If you want my honest
right now, just gut check,
389
00:15:41,508 --> 00:15:45,448
I'm very nervous.
I'm legitimately nervous.
390
00:15:45,478 --> 00:15:48,018
-Okay.
391
00:15:48,048 --> 00:15:51,118
-This is prayer.
This is legitimate.
392
00:15:52,352 --> 00:15:54,452
-Don't look, don't look.
-Oh, God.
393
00:15:54,487 --> 00:15:56,087
-Wait, close your eyes.
Keep your eyes closed.
394
00:15:56,123 --> 00:15:57,393
The name is Marvin, okay?
395
00:15:57,424 --> 00:15:59,734
Just picture Marvin
in your head.
396
00:15:59,759 --> 00:16:03,329
Okay, don't look.
Don't look.
397
00:16:03,363 --> 00:16:06,403
[ Laughs ] Okay.
398
00:16:06,433 --> 00:16:09,443
Don't look, don't look.
399
00:16:09,469 --> 00:16:14,369
You're not looking,
you're waiting, and now.
400
00:16:14,407 --> 00:16:17,377
-Oh God!
401
00:16:17,410 --> 00:16:19,210
No!
402
00:16:19,246 --> 00:16:22,346
It's so much worse than
I thought it was going to be!
403
00:16:22,382 --> 00:16:24,082
-No, please, don't, no.
404
00:16:24,117 --> 00:16:26,547
-What are his hands made
of that they make that sound?
405
00:16:26,586 --> 00:16:28,086
-Bones!
406
00:16:28,121 --> 00:16:30,521
[ Cymbals clapping ]
407
00:16:30,557 --> 00:16:33,357
He can stand on his own.
408
00:16:33,393 --> 00:16:35,203
-[ Laughs ]
409
00:16:35,228 --> 00:16:36,558
-That's another good thing.
410
00:16:36,596 --> 00:16:38,226
That's how you know
he's haunted.
411
00:16:38,265 --> 00:16:40,125
So here's the story.
-Don't hog him.
412
00:16:40,167 --> 00:16:42,497
-There were four bids,
but we swooped in and--
413
00:16:42,535 --> 00:16:45,235
-Holy shit, I'm so glad
we found you, Marvin.
414
00:16:45,272 --> 00:16:47,042
-Yeah, $20.50.
-Please don't make it move.
415
00:16:47,074 --> 00:16:48,214
Please don't jiggle him.
-I'm not.
416
00:16:48,241 --> 00:16:49,811
I'm not making him move.
417
00:16:49,842 --> 00:16:52,482
Read the damned story!
-Okay.
418
00:16:52,512 --> 00:16:54,252
"Marvin was
a bank robbing clown.
419
00:16:54,281 --> 00:16:56,121
He robbed several banks.
420
00:16:56,149 --> 00:16:57,819
-Hell yeah, Marvin,
just like me, a rebel.
421
00:16:57,850 --> 00:17:00,050
-"Flawlessly, until one night
422
00:17:00,087 --> 00:17:03,457
he picked the wrong bank
and was surrounded by police.
423
00:17:03,490 --> 00:17:05,560
Out of desperation,
Marvin took a hostage
424
00:17:05,592 --> 00:17:08,802
and proceeded to the front
of the entrance of the bank
425
00:17:08,828 --> 00:17:11,258
and took off in his car
with the hostage,
426
00:17:11,298 --> 00:17:13,128
a female, mid 40s."
427
00:17:13,166 --> 00:17:15,396
Her name was Tanya?
Sure.
428
00:17:15,435 --> 00:17:17,535
"Little did Marvin know
she had the power
429
00:17:17,570 --> 00:17:20,170
to make things happen
with her mind." Twist!
430
00:17:20,207 --> 00:17:21,537
-Whoa!
-Oh, my God.
431
00:17:21,574 --> 00:17:23,544
-You didn't see that coming,
but that's the deal.
432
00:17:23,576 --> 00:17:25,846
The story is kind of
about Tanya also.
433
00:17:25,878 --> 00:17:28,148
"Tanya noticed this doll
in the backseat."
434
00:17:28,181 --> 00:17:29,851
-So, okay, hold up a second.
-Stop.
435
00:17:29,882 --> 00:17:31,552
-Wait, no, stop.
436
00:17:31,584 --> 00:17:34,294
You're telling me
that he's like,
437
00:17:34,321 --> 00:17:36,261
"I've got to go rob this bank.
438
00:17:36,289 --> 00:17:39,259
I have a gun, I have a funny bag
with a dollar sign on it."
439
00:17:39,292 --> 00:17:40,532
-I've got
my hybrid colored clown.
440
00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:42,330
-And I've got my
hybrid colored clown
441
00:17:42,362 --> 00:17:45,202
in the backseat, Marvin,
watching my back.
442
00:17:45,232 --> 00:17:47,332
-Marvin, let me know
if the car is still on.
443
00:17:47,367 --> 00:17:49,237
-Okay, so Tanya noticed
this doll
444
00:17:49,269 --> 00:17:50,869
in the back seat and proceeded
with her plan,
445
00:17:50,903 --> 00:17:53,443
concentrating hard
while traveling at high speeds
446
00:17:53,473 --> 00:17:55,283
during the police chase.
447
00:17:55,308 --> 00:17:57,178
Both her and Marvin
were not wearing seat belts.
448
00:17:57,210 --> 00:17:58,880
Tanya thought
really hard on Marvin
449
00:17:58,911 --> 00:18:00,551
losing control of the vehicle
450
00:18:00,580 --> 00:18:02,320
and crashing into a ditch.
[ Tires screech ]
451
00:18:02,349 --> 00:18:03,849
And Marvin lost control.
452
00:18:03,883 --> 00:18:06,493
Tanya clipped her seatbelt on,
and they crashed,
453
00:18:06,519 --> 00:18:08,459
sending Marvin
through the windshield.
454
00:18:08,488 --> 00:18:12,628
Tanya focused on his soul going
into the doll, still intact.
455
00:18:12,659 --> 00:18:15,329
She wanted his soul
trapped forever.
456
00:18:15,362 --> 00:18:18,402
You could see a mist
traveling to the doll,
457
00:18:18,431 --> 00:18:22,201
as the story goes from those
who witnessed.
458
00:18:22,235 --> 00:18:23,565
So, that's Marvin's story.
459
00:18:23,603 --> 00:18:25,713
Let's throw him straight
in the garbage.
460
00:18:25,738 --> 00:18:27,668
-Wait, look, look, look.
461
00:18:27,707 --> 00:18:30,637
That's not me!
You've got to stop doing that!
462
00:18:30,677 --> 00:18:32,407
I'm trying to hold his arm down.
463
00:18:32,445 --> 00:18:34,375
-Don't make him look at me
while he does it.
464
00:18:34,414 --> 00:18:36,554
-Justin, look at his eyes.
465
00:18:36,583 --> 00:18:39,493
He can't finish
unless you look him in the eyes.
466
00:18:39,519 --> 00:18:42,619
I don't want him to finish.
I don't want him to finish.
467
00:18:44,657 --> 00:18:47,357
-I hate this fucking show.
468
00:18:47,394 --> 00:18:49,734
[ Classical music plays ]
469
00:18:53,633 --> 00:18:55,373
-Jump scare!
470
00:18:55,402 --> 00:18:58,172
But, oh, seriously,
the next scene is actually here.
471
00:18:59,306 --> 00:19:00,936
Can you tell me
a little bit about
472
00:19:00,973 --> 00:19:03,313
the Coalition of Paranormalists
and what you guys do?
473
00:19:03,343 --> 00:19:05,253
-I think the main reason
we started
474
00:19:05,278 --> 00:19:08,218
was we wanted
to help people understand
475
00:19:08,248 --> 00:19:09,718
better what's going on.
476
00:19:09,749 --> 00:19:12,449
-Have you ever experienced
a benevolent, like, nice ghost?
477
00:19:12,485 --> 00:19:14,385
Has there ever been a time
when you're like,
478
00:19:14,421 --> 00:19:16,191
"Yeah, there's definitely
a ghost here but
he's totally chill"?
479
00:19:16,223 --> 00:19:17,423
-That's a ghost you
can kick it with.
480
00:19:17,457 --> 00:19:18,927
-For the most part,
481
00:19:18,958 --> 00:19:21,228
I think there are ghosts
that you can kick it with.
482
00:19:21,261 --> 00:19:23,661
-How do you kill it?
Do you have a magic sword?
483
00:19:23,696 --> 00:19:27,396
-How do you kill it?
You throw salt at it.
484
00:19:27,434 --> 00:19:29,274
-Is that real,
because I need to know.
485
00:19:29,302 --> 00:19:30,502
-No.
486
00:19:30,537 --> 00:19:32,407
-Okay, so that about
does it for us.
487
00:19:32,439 --> 00:19:35,539
We're hoping that after we take
over Libby's stand-in room,
488
00:19:35,575 --> 00:19:37,375
haunt it up,
y'all can come in
489
00:19:37,410 --> 00:19:38,610
and check it out
and let us know what you think.
490
00:19:38,645 --> 00:19:40,205
-Absolutely.
-Sure.
491
00:19:40,247 --> 00:19:41,677
-Let's do it.
-Let's check it out.
492
00:19:41,714 --> 00:19:44,384
[ Classical music plays ]
493
00:19:49,389 --> 00:19:51,719
-When there's
something unusual,
494
00:19:51,758 --> 00:19:55,328
in the places you live,
who's the best contact?
495
00:19:55,362 --> 00:19:57,602
-Ghoul smashers!
496
00:19:57,630 --> 00:19:59,330
-Let's just start scattering
497
00:19:59,366 --> 00:20:00,726
some of this
very creepy stuff all around.
498
00:20:00,767 --> 00:20:02,397
-What if we do it like this?
499
00:20:02,435 --> 00:20:04,265
It looks like, uh-oh,
who is under there?
500
00:20:04,304 --> 00:20:05,674
-We got the solid boy.
501
00:20:05,705 --> 00:20:07,365
I don't know.
Can we hang the boy?
502
00:20:07,407 --> 00:20:09,477
This is a sign
to everybody like--
503
00:20:09,509 --> 00:20:11,509
-No, I want to enjoy it.
-"Cool kids live here."
504
00:20:11,544 --> 00:20:13,254
-I didn't buy the boy
505
00:20:13,280 --> 00:20:14,380
so everybody outside
could enjoy it.
506
00:20:14,414 --> 00:20:15,824
I bought the boy for me.
507
00:20:15,848 --> 00:20:19,018
This looks like Libby is
some sort of scientist
508
00:20:19,051 --> 00:20:21,591
who invented some new medicine,
509
00:20:21,621 --> 00:20:24,461
and the design for the medicine
is worth a billion dollars,
510
00:20:24,491 --> 00:20:26,561
and so somebody broke
into her college dorm
511
00:20:26,593 --> 00:20:27,833
to search for it,
512
00:20:27,860 --> 00:20:30,630
and this was the result
of that search.
513
00:20:30,663 --> 00:20:32,733
-Yeah.
-It doesn't feel -- okay,
514
00:20:32,765 --> 00:20:34,325
I'll say this.
515
00:20:34,367 --> 00:20:35,437
It feels a little
clinical in here.
516
00:20:35,468 --> 00:20:36,798
It doesn't feel very spooky.
517
00:20:36,836 --> 00:20:38,406
-Can you please strong arm,
518
00:20:38,438 --> 00:20:40,008
can you get us over
that 100-yard line
519
00:20:40,039 --> 00:20:41,709
into the touchdown zone
of spookiness?
520
00:20:41,741 --> 00:20:43,511
-I've got something.
-I got it. I got it.
521
00:20:43,543 --> 00:20:45,683
Go, go, go.
522
00:20:45,712 --> 00:20:48,582
Can you guys go away, please,
so I can finish?
523
00:20:48,615 --> 00:20:50,615
Please.
524
00:20:50,650 --> 00:20:52,720
[ Eerie music plays ]
525
00:20:55,388 --> 00:20:57,488
-Hey.
-Hi, guys.
526
00:20:57,524 --> 00:20:59,334
-So, listen.
-Okay.
527
00:20:59,359 --> 00:21:00,559
-We spooked it up really good.
-Okay.
528
00:21:00,593 --> 00:21:02,663
-All haunted, it's all scary,
529
00:21:02,695 --> 00:21:05,365
and I'm worried
that it's too scary.
530
00:21:05,398 --> 00:21:08,538
-We committed spook-tastic
crimes against humanity
in there,
531
00:21:08,568 --> 00:21:09,868
and you guys are going
to go in there
532
00:21:09,902 --> 00:21:13,312
and you're going
to dump your butt.
533
00:21:13,340 --> 00:21:16,510
-In advance, we're sorry
for whatever happens in there.
534
00:21:16,543 --> 00:21:19,053
-You're going to yell and throw
each other through the window.
535
00:21:19,078 --> 00:21:20,778
Your skull is going
to come out of you.
536
00:21:20,813 --> 00:21:23,553
-And then go back in
but backwards.
537
00:21:24,517 --> 00:21:29,657
-All right.
So, it looks like we've got--
538
00:21:29,689 --> 00:21:31,559
Oh!
-Good evening.
539
00:21:31,591 --> 00:21:34,731
Welcome to the haunted dorm --
540
00:21:34,761 --> 00:21:37,431
One second, fuck.
541
00:21:37,464 --> 00:21:38,674
-Do you need some help?
542
00:21:38,698 --> 00:21:40,598
-Yeah, if you could
move that, please.
543
00:21:40,633 --> 00:21:42,873
-Do you want me to hold your --
-Can you hold the candle?
544
00:21:42,902 --> 00:21:45,372
Ow, fuck!
545
00:21:45,405 --> 00:21:47,605
[ Metal clangs ]
546
00:21:47,640 --> 00:21:50,380
-Thanks.
-Thank you.
547
00:21:52,111 --> 00:21:53,781
Welcome to the haunted
dorm room.
548
00:21:53,813 --> 00:21:56,453
-So, here's what
we would want to do.
549
00:21:56,483 --> 00:21:58,823
Let's put one of
the EMF detectors
550
00:21:58,851 --> 00:22:01,491
in the super weird
rocking chair.
551
00:22:01,521 --> 00:22:05,491
Let's do one here beside
the tiny hobbit clogs.
552
00:22:05,525 --> 00:22:06,925
-Okay.
-You want to see what
553
00:22:06,959 --> 00:22:08,699
we can do with this laser grid?
554
00:22:08,728 --> 00:22:10,698
-Absolutely I do.
-There we go.
555
00:22:10,730 --> 00:22:11,700
-Hell yes.
556
00:22:11,731 --> 00:22:13,101
-Is there anybody here
557
00:22:13,132 --> 00:22:17,342
who wants to say anything to us?
558
00:22:27,447 --> 00:22:30,677
-Okay, fine.
God, I didn't want to have to-
559
00:22:32,552 --> 00:22:33,822
-What are you doing?
560
00:22:33,853 --> 00:22:37,723
-* I love to party with ghosts
561
00:22:37,757 --> 00:22:41,557
* I'm a little piece
of goat meat *
562
00:22:41,594 --> 00:22:43,864
* Ghost meat for you
563
00:22:43,896 --> 00:22:46,596
* I'll do whatever you need
564
00:22:46,633 --> 00:22:48,803
-Okay, so Justin is trying
to seduce the ghost now.
565
00:22:48,835 --> 00:22:52,465
-* Why don't you haunt my
566
00:22:52,505 --> 00:22:54,805
Jump scare! [ Laughs ]
567
00:22:57,777 --> 00:23:00,507
-Is there a chance that none
of the things
568
00:23:00,547 --> 00:23:01,507
we bought are haunted?
569
00:23:01,548 --> 00:23:03,618
-Absolutely.
-Aw, man.
570
00:23:03,650 --> 00:23:06,750
-But you don't know that until
you do something like this.
571
00:23:06,786 --> 00:23:09,616
-Can we turn the lights on?
-We have a ringer.
572
00:23:09,656 --> 00:23:12,186
-Really?
-We have one other thing
573
00:23:12,224 --> 00:23:14,894
and it is 100% haunted.
574
00:23:14,927 --> 00:23:16,897
-110% haunted.
-Guaranteed.
575
00:23:16,929 --> 00:23:18,769
-Theres 1.1 ghosts
in this thing.
576
00:23:18,798 --> 00:23:21,428
-Yeah, this one feels
to me like,
577
00:23:21,468 --> 00:23:23,498
for sure definitely haunted.
578
00:23:23,536 --> 00:23:25,606
-Close your eyes.
Keep your eyes closed.
579
00:23:25,638 --> 00:23:28,168
-Okay stop, wait, wait, wait.
580
00:23:28,207 --> 00:23:30,777
-As soon as you get
that shit in there --
581
00:23:30,810 --> 00:23:33,550
-We execute
Extraction Plan Delta.
582
00:23:33,580 --> 00:23:35,920
-We won't leave you behind.
583
00:23:35,948 --> 00:23:37,578
-Yeah, no shit.
584
00:23:37,617 --> 00:23:39,617
-Okay.
585
00:23:39,652 --> 00:23:42,792
-Okay, go, go, go, go.
586
00:23:42,822 --> 00:23:46,232
[ Chatter ]
587
00:23:46,258 --> 00:23:48,528
-Stay with this boy.
588
00:23:48,561 --> 00:23:52,701
-[ Repeating "Close eyes" ]
589
00:23:52,732 --> 00:23:54,572
Get me out, get me out,
get me out!
590
00:23:54,601 --> 00:23:57,201
Pull me, pull me, pull me!
591
00:23:57,236 --> 00:23:59,736
I'm sorry.
Go, go, go, go!
592
00:23:59,772 --> 00:24:02,512
-Shit, shit, shit.
Just go, just go.
593
00:24:05,545 --> 00:24:06,645
-Who is this?
594
00:24:06,679 --> 00:24:08,649
-[ Laughing ] Oh, my God!
No.
595
00:24:08,681 --> 00:24:11,681
-What is --
596
00:24:11,718 --> 00:24:13,848
-I'm super freaked out
by clowns.
597
00:24:13,886 --> 00:24:15,916
-Do you want him to touch you?
-No, I do not.
598
00:24:15,955 --> 00:24:17,755
Get his shoes off of me.
599
00:24:17,790 --> 00:24:20,560
-That's his hand.
-I don't care.
600
00:24:20,593 --> 00:24:22,563
Oh, my God.
-That's his weird --
601
00:24:22,595 --> 00:24:24,755
[ Classical music plays ]
602
00:24:25,998 --> 00:24:31,068
-So, we had a question
from Libby who wanted us to know
603
00:24:31,103 --> 00:24:32,843
that she was moving
with somebody
604
00:24:32,872 --> 00:24:34,972
who was bringing
a lot of haunted artifacts
605
00:24:35,007 --> 00:24:36,707
to the dorm room
they were going to share.
606
00:24:36,743 --> 00:24:39,713
So we were --
607
00:24:39,746 --> 00:24:42,816
we filled a dorm room
with haunted stuff.
608
00:24:42,849 --> 00:24:45,079
We're not really clear --
we kind of lost the plot.
609
00:24:45,117 --> 00:24:47,017
-So, what else did you
do besides--
610
00:24:47,053 --> 00:24:49,893
-We bought a doll.
-We bought a very spooky doll.
611
00:24:49,922 --> 00:24:51,022
-That doesn't sound
as impressive.
612
00:24:51,057 --> 00:24:52,657
We went to an antique store.
613
00:24:52,692 --> 00:24:54,532
When you say it out loud
it sounds
614
00:24:54,561 --> 00:24:55,861
like we just went shopping.
615
00:24:55,895 --> 00:24:57,755
-We went to an empty dorm room
616
00:24:57,797 --> 00:25:00,067
and met some very nice people
that hunt ghosts.
617
00:25:00,099 --> 00:25:01,869
We went antiquing.
618
00:25:01,901 --> 00:25:05,741
We stuck our antiques
and some trash in a dorm room
619
00:25:05,772 --> 00:25:09,012
and then threw a clown
at some people who left.
620
00:25:09,041 --> 00:25:11,311
-It was a good day all in all.
-It was a good day.
621
00:25:11,343 --> 00:25:13,953
-That's like a day at a bed
and breakfast in the country.
622
00:25:13,980 --> 00:25:16,620
-Yeah.
-Oh, shit, Libby.
623
00:25:16,649 --> 00:25:18,749
Listen, hey, it's your boy J.
624
00:25:18,785 --> 00:25:21,945
The first day you go in, get
some ghost-testing equipment,
625
00:25:21,988 --> 00:25:24,988
scan all her shit and tell her
none of it's haunted.
626
00:25:25,024 --> 00:25:28,704
It's ugly trash that you
brought in for no reason.
627
00:25:28,728 --> 00:25:30,028
Maybe she'll throw it away.
628
00:25:30,062 --> 00:25:31,802
-That's actually
really good advice.
629
00:25:31,831 --> 00:25:33,831
-Yeah, it's really good advice.
Put her to the test.
630
00:25:33,866 --> 00:25:36,296
-Can we eat this
fucking food or what?
631
00:25:36,335 --> 00:25:37,965
-Jump scare!
632
00:25:38,004 --> 00:25:40,974
[ Rock music plays ]
633
00:25:43,876 --> 00:25:46,006
Jump scare!
634
00:25:50,049 --> 00:25:52,119
[ Indistinct singing ]
635
00:25:53,653 --> 00:25:55,823
-Jump scare!
636
00:26:10,002 --> 00:26:13,042
-We've got books to read
before you fall asleep.
637
00:26:13,072 --> 00:26:14,812
-Shelves and closets
for keeping
638
00:26:14,841 --> 00:26:16,341
all your dirty little secrets.
639
00:26:16,375 --> 00:26:17,935
-A weed operation.
640
00:26:17,977 --> 00:26:19,677
-[ Laughs ]
641
00:26:19,712 --> 00:26:20,982
-Forgot to do that,
642
00:26:21,013 --> 00:26:22,583
but we're going to do that
before we go.
48288
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