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All language subtitles for King Ralph (1991) 1080p BluRay x264-[YTS LT]

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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:07,073 2 00:00:57,539 --> 00:00:59,905 The rain appears to have stopped. 3 00:00:59,975 --> 00:01:01,942 We can continue with the portrait. 4 00:01:01,976 --> 00:01:03,103 So I should hope. 5 00:01:03,177 --> 00:01:06,272 First time we've had the family together for six years. 6 00:01:06,347 --> 00:01:09,146 We'll need both banks of fill lights. 7 00:01:09,183 --> 00:01:11,084 I've already strung the cables, sir. 8 00:01:28,103 --> 00:01:29,069 Could you? 9 00:01:29,103 --> 00:01:30,570 Permit me, Your Majesty. 10 00:01:32,707 --> 00:01:33,674 HER MAJESTY: Thank you. 11 00:01:47,088 --> 00:01:49,557 -All set up, sir. -Thank you. 12 00:01:49,591 --> 00:01:51,388 We're ready now, everybody. 13 00:01:51,426 --> 00:01:53,395 Look straight into the lens... 14 00:01:53,429 --> 00:01:56,262 and keep your eyes wide and bright. 15 00:01:56,298 --> 00:01:58,265 Now, after three. One... 16 00:01:58,299 --> 00:02:00,096 two... 17 00:02:00,135 --> 00:02:01,864 three. 18 00:02:21,824 --> 00:02:26,090 MAN: At a time like this, any task is difficult, 19 00:02:26,127 --> 00:02:30,063 but a surviving heir to the throne must be found. 20 00:02:30,098 --> 00:02:32,066 The nation, the commonwealth, 21 00:02:32,099 --> 00:02:35,557 and, I daresay, the known world await your findings. 22 00:02:35,603 --> 00:02:37,127 Good luck, gentlemen. 23 00:03:21,550 --> 00:03:24,677 Since when do we give a toss about this kind of bullshit? 24 00:03:24,719 --> 00:03:26,187 Shut up, Dysentery. 25 00:03:26,221 --> 00:03:28,711 Where's your sense of national flipping pride? 26 00:04:08,396 --> 00:04:10,365 Uh, uh, you. 27 00:04:10,399 --> 00:04:12,730 -Excuse me, Sir Cedric. -Yes? 28 00:04:13,235 --> 00:04:15,294 I believe we've found an heir. 29 00:04:15,336 --> 00:04:17,531 That's wonderful, Duncan. Who is it? 30 00:04:18,540 --> 00:04:21,565 His name is Jones. Ralph Jones. 31 00:04:21,643 --> 00:04:24,134 Is he everything we might have hoped? 32 00:04:24,211 --> 00:04:27,180 He has his strengths and his weaknesses. 33 00:04:27,214 --> 00:04:30,343 You see, he's an American. 34 00:04:31,920 --> 00:04:33,750 Quickly, Duncan, the strengths. 35 00:04:37,925 --> 00:04:40,918 MAN: Here's one from Don Ho, 36 00:04:40,963 --> 00:04:42,954 the godfather of Hawaiian soul. 37 00:04:43,966 --> 00:04:46,230 Tiny bubbles 38 00:04:46,268 --> 00:04:47,257 Thank you. 39 00:04:48,737 --> 00:04:51,637 In the wine 40 00:04:53,808 --> 00:04:55,970 Make me happy 41 00:04:56,043 --> 00:04:58,512 Oh, howthey 42 00:04:58,547 --> 00:05:00,572 Make me feel fine 43 00:05:00,649 --> 00:05:02,776 How a how we do 44 00:05:02,817 --> 00:05:04,115 He's in there. 45 00:05:04,151 --> 00:05:06,312 Tiny bubbles 46 00:05:07,355 --> 00:05:12,521 Make me warm all over 47 00:05:12,560 --> 00:05:13,959 Are you shitting me? 48 00:05:13,995 --> 00:05:18,329 And the feelin' that I'm gonna love you 49 00:05:18,367 --> 00:05:21,165 Till the end of time 50 00:05:25,139 --> 00:05:26,231 Thank you. 51 00:05:28,009 --> 00:05:29,271 Ah-choo! 52 00:05:29,343 --> 00:05:31,312 Brady, I've got that 20 for you tomorrow. 53 00:05:31,346 --> 00:05:32,812 BRADY: Yeah, right. 54 00:05:34,949 --> 00:05:36,110 Hey, Mitzi. 55 00:05:36,151 --> 00:05:38,778 Heard your show went a little better than mine. 56 00:05:38,819 --> 00:05:41,288 Ed, what are you doing down here? 57 00:05:41,322 --> 00:05:43,449 We're not paying you to watch television. 58 00:05:44,659 --> 00:05:46,127 Excuse me. 59 00:05:46,161 --> 00:05:50,257 Hello, my name is Duncan Phipps. This is Inspector McGuire. 60 00:05:50,298 --> 00:05:52,731 Great. A couple of checks bounce? 61 00:05:52,768 --> 00:05:55,463 No, he's here for your protection. 62 00:05:55,504 --> 00:05:58,098 ED: Jones, I'm not finished talking to you. 63 00:05:58,139 --> 00:06:00,334 Come in. I'll sign a picture for you. 64 00:06:02,209 --> 00:06:04,735 Smashing show, by the way. Absolutely smashing. 65 00:06:04,812 --> 00:06:07,576 -We're not renewing you. -What? 66 00:06:07,615 --> 00:06:09,879 I'm putting Mitzi in your slot. 67 00:06:09,918 --> 00:06:12,819 [Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh] 68 00:06:12,853 --> 00:06:15,084 You little back-stabbing bitch. 69 00:06:16,692 --> 00:06:18,057 ED: Turn in your tux. 70 00:06:18,093 --> 00:06:20,617 'Cause I wouldn't sing The lmpossible Dream? 71 00:06:21,629 --> 00:06:22,653 Vacate your room by noon tomorrow, 72 00:06:22,697 --> 00:06:25,165 or we'll put your stuff in the street. 73 00:06:25,199 --> 00:06:26,928 RALPH: Can you believe that? 74 00:06:26,968 --> 00:06:28,935 It's beyond all comprehension, Your Majesty. 75 00:06:28,970 --> 00:06:31,939 But I have news that might bring you some cheer. 76 00:06:31,973 --> 00:06:33,167 I doubt it. 77 00:06:37,112 --> 00:06:40,308 It is my glorious duty to inform you... 78 00:06:40,348 --> 00:06:43,579 that you are the new... 79 00:06:43,617 --> 00:06:46,519 king of England. 80 00:06:52,427 --> 00:06:55,418 DUNCAN: The duke of Warren... 81 00:06:55,463 --> 00:06:57,898 had a small dalliance with your grandmother Constance, 82 00:06:57,932 --> 00:07:01,369 who was a waitress at the hotel where he was staying. 83 00:07:01,403 --> 00:07:04,860 One gastro death-dealer with onions, jalapenos, and Tabasco. 84 00:07:04,906 --> 00:07:06,271 Thank you. 85 00:07:06,341 --> 00:07:10,209 At any rate, Constance had a son, your father. 86 00:07:10,245 --> 00:07:13,271 Since he and your grandmother are both dead, 87 00:07:13,348 --> 00:07:17,478 you are the only surviving royal heir in your line. 88 00:07:17,519 --> 00:07:18,713 Even if I believed you, which I don't, 89 00:07:18,754 --> 00:07:21,221 I haven't got time to be king of England. 90 00:07:21,255 --> 00:07:22,723 I got to get a job. 91 00:07:22,757 --> 00:07:24,622 This is more than a job. 92 00:07:24,658 --> 00:07:26,627 Maybe I'll put a band together, 93 00:07:26,661 --> 00:07:28,295 get back to playing rock 'n' roll. 94 00:07:28,295 --> 00:07:32,629 But you can't refuse the throne. It's a sacred trust. 95 00:07:32,667 --> 00:07:34,259 What does this sacred trust pay? 96 00:07:34,302 --> 00:07:36,566 You don't get a salary. 97 00:07:36,605 --> 00:07:38,334 I pay you, right? 98 00:07:38,372 --> 00:07:39,862 You don't need money. 99 00:07:39,941 --> 00:07:41,408 Everything's taken care of. 100 00:07:41,475 --> 00:07:44,968 The king has a castle-- five castles, actually-- 101 00:07:45,045 --> 00:07:48,981 a fleet of cars, a yacht, a staff of servants. 102 00:07:49,050 --> 00:07:51,677 Good God, the future of a nation's at stake! 103 00:07:53,922 --> 00:07:56,322 You're good, Dunc. Real good. 104 00:07:56,992 --> 00:07:58,459 Hmm. 105 00:07:58,492 --> 00:08:00,392 Do you remember your grandmother at all? 106 00:08:00,427 --> 00:08:01,394 RALPH: Connie? Yeah. 107 00:08:01,428 --> 00:08:03,487 Do you remember a ring she wore? 108 00:08:03,531 --> 00:08:07,059 Sure. She said she got it from some prince. 109 00:08:08,103 --> 00:08:11,197 There's only one other like it, the duke of Warren's. 110 00:08:11,238 --> 00:08:12,728 Was this the ring? 111 00:08:15,911 --> 00:08:17,468 Holy shit. 112 00:08:21,081 --> 00:08:22,048 Yes! 113 00:08:24,019 --> 00:08:26,487 Yes! Ha ha! 114 00:08:26,521 --> 00:08:27,817 Awoo! 115 00:08:37,499 --> 00:08:38,966 RALPH: How long you think you'll be needing me? 116 00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:41,467 I've never held a job for more than six months. 117 00:08:41,503 --> 00:08:45,063 DUNCAN: A king is a king for life. 118 00:08:45,105 --> 00:08:47,164 RALPH: No problem. My schedule's pretty open. 119 00:08:50,511 --> 00:08:55,211 Ahh ahh ahh ahh ahh ahh ahh ahh ahh 120 00:08:55,250 --> 00:08:57,411 Ahh ahh ahh ahh ahh 121 00:08:57,451 --> 00:09:00,216 Ahh 122 00:09:00,254 --> 00:09:05,158 Ahh ahh ahh ahh ahh ahh ahh ahh ahh 123 00:09:05,192 --> 00:09:07,524 God save the king 124 00:09:07,562 --> 00:09:09,495 God save the king 125 00:09:09,530 --> 00:09:11,658 Rule Britannia 126 00:09:11,700 --> 00:09:14,965 God save the king 127 00:09:20,575 --> 00:09:23,543 There it is, Your Majesty. Your new home. 128 00:09:27,081 --> 00:09:28,413 RALPH: Which room is mine? 129 00:09:28,450 --> 00:09:30,576 DUNCAN: Well, all of them. 130 00:09:30,619 --> 00:09:33,553 God save the king 131 00:09:33,587 --> 00:09:36,489 God save the king 132 00:09:36,725 --> 00:09:38,385 Excuse me, Sir Cedric. 133 00:09:38,426 --> 00:09:40,222 His Majesty is here. 134 00:09:41,462 --> 00:09:42,588 Very good. 135 00:09:51,072 --> 00:09:55,838 Allow me to introduce Our Sovereign Lord, Ralph Jones, 136 00:09:55,911 --> 00:09:58,379 king of Great Britain, Northern Ireland, 137 00:09:58,413 --> 00:10:01,381 and all her other realms and territories, 138 00:10:01,416 --> 00:10:04,613 head of the commonwealth, defender of the faith. 139 00:10:13,227 --> 00:10:14,889 RALPH: How you doing? 140 00:10:21,602 --> 00:10:25,801 How do you do, Your Majesty? I'm Cedric Willingham. 141 00:10:25,840 --> 00:10:27,273 Glad to meet you, Ced. 142 00:10:37,152 --> 00:10:39,346 Have you ever been to England before? 143 00:10:40,154 --> 00:10:41,144 No. 144 00:10:42,923 --> 00:10:45,687 But I have almost all the Rolling Stones' albums. 145 00:10:45,726 --> 00:10:48,217 Well, then you're practically a native. 146 00:10:50,631 --> 00:10:52,759 Dunc says you've been here 25 years. 147 00:10:52,801 --> 00:10:54,826 You must be a hell of a typist by now. 148 00:10:54,869 --> 00:10:56,927 I'm not that type of secretary. 149 00:10:56,971 --> 00:11:00,236 My duty is to instruct you in the arts of sovereignty... 150 00:11:00,307 --> 00:11:01,934 to make you a king. 151 00:11:02,009 --> 00:11:05,946 Look, my duties are mostly for show, right? 152 00:11:06,014 --> 00:11:07,480 I hope you're not counting on me... 153 00:11:07,514 --> 00:11:08,981 to solve large national problems. 154 00:11:09,017 --> 00:11:11,315 I don't have a lot of experience with that. 155 00:11:11,352 --> 00:11:14,480 English law prohibits monarchs from solving problems. 156 00:11:14,522 --> 00:11:17,615 Unfortunately, it doesn't prohibit you from creating them. 157 00:11:17,658 --> 00:11:20,855 Good. That's a load off my mind. 158 00:11:21,528 --> 00:11:23,793 So, where do we start? 159 00:11:25,265 --> 00:11:26,426 Everywhere. 160 00:11:39,547 --> 00:11:42,014 CEDRIC: Think of what name you'd like to use as king. 161 00:11:43,217 --> 00:11:46,653 Edward and George have been popular this century. 162 00:11:46,687 --> 00:11:48,154 RALPH: What's wrong with Ralph? 163 00:11:48,188 --> 00:11:51,647 CEDRIC: It lacks a certain... majesty. 164 00:11:51,692 --> 00:11:54,662 I can't really think of any notable Ralph. 165 00:11:54,696 --> 00:11:56,220 RALPH: Well, sure. 166 00:11:57,532 --> 00:11:59,658 Ralph Macchio. 167 00:11:59,701 --> 00:12:01,327 Ralph Lauren. 168 00:12:01,369 --> 00:12:02,596 Ralph Kramden. 169 00:12:10,245 --> 00:12:13,111 This is extremely nice. Better than I'm used to. 170 00:12:13,148 --> 00:12:15,480 CEDRIC: This is the picture gallery. 171 00:12:15,517 --> 00:12:18,485 Many of the people in these paintings are your relatives. 172 00:12:18,519 --> 00:12:21,977 That's the duke of Warren, your unfortunate grandfather. 173 00:12:22,023 --> 00:12:23,547 You have his chin. 174 00:12:24,426 --> 00:12:25,893 Hmm. 175 00:12:25,927 --> 00:12:28,725 That's George III. You may remember him. 176 00:12:28,763 --> 00:12:30,697 He was king during that temper tantrum... 177 00:12:30,731 --> 00:12:33,029 you call the Revolutionary War. 178 00:12:33,067 --> 00:12:37,197 Sounds like sour grapes. We did kick your ass. 179 00:12:37,238 --> 00:12:40,264 The loss is entirely yours, or rather, theirs. 180 00:12:40,341 --> 00:12:42,308 Remember that you're an Englishman now. 181 00:12:42,342 --> 00:12:44,777 RALPH: I still think they kicked our ass. 182 00:12:54,121 --> 00:12:55,850 CEDRIC: Just a few quick questions... 183 00:12:55,889 --> 00:12:58,357 to probe your knowledge of English history. 184 00:12:58,393 --> 00:12:59,951 RALPH: Fine. 185 00:12:59,994 --> 00:13:01,756 When she failed to give him a son, 186 00:13:01,796 --> 00:13:03,764 Henry Vlll had Anne Boleyn... 187 00:13:05,399 --> 00:13:06,798 Look into adoption? 188 00:13:06,835 --> 00:13:08,268 Beheaded. 189 00:13:08,302 --> 00:13:10,567 Jeez, this is a tough country. 190 00:13:10,605 --> 00:13:13,335 Would this be to your liking? 191 00:13:13,408 --> 00:13:14,773 I kind of like that. 192 00:13:17,312 --> 00:13:20,076 That's an upholstery fabric, Your Majesty. 193 00:13:21,048 --> 00:13:23,278 The English people don't generally like their monarch... 194 00:13:23,317 --> 00:13:24,945 to look like a sofa. 195 00:13:24,985 --> 00:13:25,975 Ah. 196 00:13:28,556 --> 00:13:31,286 These are traditional English dishes, 197 00:13:31,326 --> 00:13:33,191 some of which you will be served tonight. 198 00:13:33,227 --> 00:13:36,254 Roast beef and Yorkshire pudding... 199 00:13:36,297 --> 00:13:37,764 bangers and mash... 200 00:13:37,798 --> 00:13:40,267 and the ever popular spotted dick. 201 00:13:40,301 --> 00:13:42,292 Spotted dick? 202 00:13:45,472 --> 00:13:47,030 Dick of what? 203 00:13:47,107 --> 00:13:49,099 These are the bangers. 204 00:13:49,177 --> 00:13:50,803 Sausages. 205 00:13:51,846 --> 00:13:53,677 The spotted dick is a dessert. 206 00:13:56,350 --> 00:13:58,011 Could I just have some ice cream? 207 00:13:58,852 --> 00:14:03,517 Quite a first day, Your Majesty. I'll leave you to rest now. 208 00:14:03,557 --> 00:14:05,684 This is Your Majesty's bedroom. 209 00:14:11,832 --> 00:14:13,322 There you go, chief. 210 00:14:23,378 --> 00:14:25,346 CEDRIC: Unfortunately, you do have the option... 211 00:14:25,413 --> 00:14:28,279 to redecorate your private quarters as you see fit. 212 00:14:28,316 --> 00:14:29,647 Good. I got some ideas. 213 00:14:29,683 --> 00:14:31,674 We'll put the velour industry on full standby. 214 00:14:31,719 --> 00:14:34,950 Through there is your dining room. 215 00:14:34,989 --> 00:14:36,854 Across the way, the bath. 216 00:14:36,890 --> 00:14:38,221 Through here is your study. 217 00:14:40,294 --> 00:14:42,320 And there is your dressing room. 218 00:14:42,363 --> 00:14:43,852 Anything we've left out? 219 00:14:45,365 --> 00:14:47,926 I don't know. How about a bowling alley? 220 00:14:47,969 --> 00:14:49,903 CEDRIC: One other thing. 221 00:14:49,937 --> 00:14:52,405 At your coronation four months hence, 222 00:14:52,440 --> 00:14:55,432 you will be required to wear the imperial state crown. 223 00:14:55,475 --> 00:14:57,534 It's usually kept in the Tower of London, 224 00:14:57,611 --> 00:14:59,580 but we placed it near your bed... 225 00:14:59,614 --> 00:15:02,378 as a reminder of the eminence of your office. 226 00:15:02,417 --> 00:15:03,884 It contains the Star of India, 227 00:15:03,918 --> 00:15:06,442 the world's second largest diamond. 228 00:15:06,486 --> 00:15:09,923 You should practice wearing it to get used to the weight. 229 00:15:11,426 --> 00:15:13,917 -Good evening, Your Majesty. -Thanks. 230 00:15:14,928 --> 00:15:16,658 RALPH: Hey, Ced. CEDRIC: Yes? 231 00:15:18,166 --> 00:15:20,395 What is it that a king does all day? 232 00:15:20,835 --> 00:15:22,995 Scarcely a minute of your day is unaccounted for. 233 00:15:23,037 --> 00:15:26,005 Nevertheless, what you do is not as important... 234 00:15:26,039 --> 00:15:27,529 as what you are. 235 00:15:28,710 --> 00:15:29,768 What am I? 236 00:15:30,611 --> 00:15:31,908 To be the king of England... 237 00:15:31,946 --> 00:15:34,846 is a responsibility like no other on Earth. 238 00:15:34,881 --> 00:15:36,644 You must become a symbol... 239 00:15:36,683 --> 00:15:39,413 of all that is best about England. 240 00:15:39,453 --> 00:15:41,422 An embodiment of our history, our culture, 241 00:15:41,456 --> 00:15:44,186 our morality, our pride of achievement. 242 00:15:44,225 --> 00:15:48,389 In short, our ideal of civilization. 243 00:15:48,428 --> 00:15:50,794 You must, in the harsh light of public scrutiny, 244 00:15:50,831 --> 00:15:54,597 exhibit all of our virtues and none of our shortcomings. 245 00:15:55,269 --> 00:15:57,669 I thought all I was supposed to do... 246 00:15:57,705 --> 00:15:59,865 was dress up and wave. 247 00:15:59,941 --> 00:16:01,738 I don't even know what our virtues are. 248 00:16:01,808 --> 00:16:03,833 You will learn soon enough. 249 00:16:03,910 --> 00:16:06,402 I'm afraid it's a god's burden to bear. 250 00:16:06,480 --> 00:16:09,938 Unfortunately, it must be borne by a man. 251 00:16:11,451 --> 00:16:13,385 Good evening, Your Majesty. 252 00:16:30,370 --> 00:16:32,100 It's not enough to be king. 253 00:16:32,139 --> 00:16:34,107 You must look and act like one. 254 00:16:34,142 --> 00:16:35,438 We'll begin with the walk. 255 00:16:36,510 --> 00:16:39,036 Imagine yourself to be the master of your domain... 256 00:16:41,014 --> 00:16:42,243 the leader of men. 257 00:16:43,784 --> 00:16:45,376 Don't swing your arms. 258 00:16:46,953 --> 00:16:48,318 Back straight. 259 00:16:49,456 --> 00:16:50,446 Head up. 260 00:16:52,025 --> 00:16:52,957 But relaxed. 261 00:16:55,596 --> 00:16:58,029 -How am I doing? -Wait! 262 00:16:58,899 --> 00:16:59,889 Aah! 263 00:17:06,307 --> 00:17:09,366 It's an unmitigated catastrophe, Prime Minister, 264 00:17:09,443 --> 00:17:12,503 this song-and-dance man from the colonies. 265 00:17:13,047 --> 00:17:15,845 It's the end of everything that we hold dear. 266 00:17:15,883 --> 00:17:17,349 Please keep in mind... 267 00:17:17,384 --> 00:17:20,251 that Jones will need a certain period of adjustment. 268 00:17:20,288 --> 00:17:24,417 He's American. He's impervious to adjustment. 269 00:17:24,459 --> 00:17:26,926 Better that Parliament declare his line at an end... 270 00:17:26,961 --> 00:17:30,192 than subject England to this embarrassment. 271 00:17:30,230 --> 00:17:33,064 Are you suggesting that we have no king at all? 272 00:17:33,101 --> 00:17:34,590 Certainly not. 273 00:17:34,634 --> 00:17:36,693 Simply choose a king from the House of Stuart, 274 00:17:36,738 --> 00:17:38,432 who reigned in glory before the Wyndhams, 275 00:17:38,472 --> 00:17:40,702 make theirs a royal line. 276 00:17:40,775 --> 00:17:42,742 That would be your line, Lord Graves, 277 00:17:42,777 --> 00:17:45,769 making you next in line for the throne? 278 00:17:46,580 --> 00:17:48,913 Yes, I believe it would. 279 00:17:49,584 --> 00:17:51,847 Removing Jones would be a drastic measure... 280 00:17:51,885 --> 00:17:54,047 for Parliament to take. 281 00:17:54,087 --> 00:17:57,318 He does have royal blood, no matter how badly diluted. 282 00:17:58,058 --> 00:18:00,960 So until he commits some grievous error, 283 00:18:00,994 --> 00:18:03,486 we will simply have to live with him. 284 00:18:03,530 --> 00:18:04,895 Well... 285 00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:07,057 Yes. 286 00:18:08,568 --> 00:18:10,058 I suppose so. 287 00:18:12,038 --> 00:18:14,872 You really fell upstairs this time. 288 00:18:14,942 --> 00:18:17,432 Too bad it's only going to last the rest of your life. 289 00:18:22,616 --> 00:18:24,380 You called, Your Majesty? 290 00:18:24,419 --> 00:18:25,909 Which one are you again? 291 00:18:25,952 --> 00:18:28,887 Gordon, Your Majesty's page. 292 00:18:28,923 --> 00:18:30,891 Yeah, Gordon, I was just wondering... 293 00:18:30,924 --> 00:18:33,552 if you could bring me something, anything. 294 00:18:33,594 --> 00:18:34,822 Anything? 295 00:18:34,862 --> 00:18:38,058 I've never had anybody bring me something before. 296 00:18:38,098 --> 00:18:39,123 Certainly. 297 00:18:39,166 --> 00:18:42,397 Perhaps an assortment of fine chocolates. 298 00:18:42,436 --> 00:18:44,496 Got any Milk Duds? 299 00:19:06,661 --> 00:19:08,924 Sir Cedric, Sir Cedric! The king's gone! 300 00:19:08,962 --> 00:19:10,259 He just walked out. 301 00:19:10,298 --> 00:19:11,765 CEDRIC: Why didn't anyone stop him? 302 00:19:11,798 --> 00:19:13,561 GORDON: We tried, but he is the king. 303 00:19:13,601 --> 00:19:14,965 DUNCAN: McGuire's with him. 304 00:19:15,001 --> 00:19:16,935 CEDRIC: We've got to find him before the press does. 305 00:19:16,971 --> 00:19:19,633 Think--you've just been made king of England. 306 00:19:19,707 --> 00:19:21,674 Where's the first place you would go? 307 00:19:35,189 --> 00:19:37,419 Our headliner, Miss Fannie Oakley! 308 00:19:37,458 --> 00:19:38,652 Thank you, Fannie! 309 00:19:38,692 --> 00:19:42,355 And now, a lady making her professional debut. 310 00:19:42,395 --> 00:19:46,627 Straight from Las Vegas, Nevada, 311 00:19:46,666 --> 00:19:49,396 Miss Flamingo Mirage! 312 00:20:09,056 --> 00:20:10,114 Yes, sir. 313 00:20:10,156 --> 00:20:11,784 Brewer Street, Soho. 314 00:20:11,826 --> 00:20:13,316 I will, sir. 315 00:20:39,921 --> 00:20:43,117 I'm sorry. I can't do this. 316 00:20:47,427 --> 00:20:49,191 M.C.: Moving along now, 317 00:20:49,230 --> 00:20:52,063 let's welcome that saucy southern belle... 318 00:20:54,167 --> 00:20:56,432 RALPH: Hey there, Flamingo, hi. 319 00:20:57,371 --> 00:20:59,702 Really unique show. Striptease without the nudity. 320 00:20:59,740 --> 00:21:01,366 My name's Miranda. 321 00:21:01,442 --> 00:21:03,410 The show was terrible. Who are you? 322 00:21:03,443 --> 00:21:05,240 Ralph Jones. 323 00:21:05,278 --> 00:21:07,247 You don't really have a Vegas accent. 324 00:21:07,280 --> 00:21:09,510 I wouldn't know. I've never been there. 325 00:21:09,549 --> 00:21:11,847 Oh! How embarrassing. 326 00:21:11,885 --> 00:21:14,251 Why did I ever think I could do this? 327 00:21:14,288 --> 00:21:17,189 RALPH: You got to remember to take a crossover step... 328 00:21:17,223 --> 00:21:18,691 before doing your spin-back, 329 00:21:18,726 --> 00:21:21,319 or you'll never make it for the hip reveal. 330 00:21:21,362 --> 00:21:23,557 Girls have trouble with that the first night. 331 00:21:23,597 --> 00:21:26,066 This is my only night. They sacked me. 332 00:21:26,099 --> 00:21:28,625 Know anybody who'd want a tear-away dress? 333 00:21:28,669 --> 00:21:30,159 One of the maids? 334 00:21:30,203 --> 00:21:33,970 We should stay with the present uniform. 335 00:21:34,040 --> 00:21:36,236 Phippsie, I didn't know... 336 00:21:36,309 --> 00:21:37,971 you went for this sort of thing. 337 00:21:38,045 --> 00:21:39,807 I want you to meet Miranda. 338 00:21:40,647 --> 00:21:43,776 -You guys work here? -Well, no. 339 00:21:43,817 --> 00:21:45,217 Then what are you doing backstage? 340 00:21:45,251 --> 00:21:48,517 It's OK. I'm the new king here. 341 00:21:48,556 --> 00:21:50,615 The king of what, burlesque? 342 00:21:50,657 --> 00:21:53,057 No. England. 343 00:21:53,094 --> 00:21:55,296 That's not the proper thing to joke about. 344 00:21:55,296 --> 00:21:57,457 I'm not joking. They hired me yesterday. 345 00:21:57,498 --> 00:21:59,260 I could get your job back. 346 00:21:59,299 --> 00:22:04,431 I don't want my job back. I want to get dressed. 347 00:22:04,471 --> 00:22:07,305 This'll only take a minute. I'm new in town. 348 00:22:07,375 --> 00:22:09,308 We could get together tomorrow night, 349 00:22:09,343 --> 00:22:12,471 maybe have a drink, discuss the country's mood-- 350 00:22:12,546 --> 00:22:14,570 Alan! He's the bouncer. 351 00:22:14,648 --> 00:22:17,310 This is ridiculous. Nobody believes me. 352 00:22:17,351 --> 00:22:19,875 We should print some cards. 353 00:22:19,920 --> 00:22:22,319 -Alan! -I'll make you a deal. 354 00:22:22,355 --> 00:22:26,258 If I prove that I'm king, you got to go out with me. 355 00:22:26,292 --> 00:22:29,160 ALAN: What are you doing here? These friends of yours? 356 00:22:29,195 --> 00:22:30,959 MIRANDA: No. 357 00:22:30,998 --> 00:22:33,192 Don't you be touching him now, lad. 358 00:22:36,569 --> 00:22:38,538 Have we got a deal? 359 00:22:38,572 --> 00:22:40,038 Yes, all right, fine. 360 00:22:40,106 --> 00:22:42,540 Coming here is the best thing I've done so far. 361 00:22:54,387 --> 00:22:55,684 RALPH: Hiya, Ced. 362 00:22:55,722 --> 00:22:57,212 I need hardly remind you... 363 00:22:57,258 --> 00:23:00,715 that this is not the preferred entertainment of royalty. 364 00:23:00,760 --> 00:23:02,092 Sorry, Ced. 365 00:23:12,073 --> 00:23:14,165 That's it, Your Majesty. Grip the bat. 366 00:23:14,240 --> 00:23:16,538 Swing it vertically, not horizontally. 367 00:23:16,609 --> 00:23:19,170 Unlike baseball, when the ball comes on the fly, 368 00:23:19,246 --> 00:23:20,712 in cricket, it hits the ground. 369 00:23:20,748 --> 00:23:22,715 The bowler is trying to hit your stump. 370 00:23:22,750 --> 00:23:24,718 If he does, you're out. 371 00:23:24,751 --> 00:23:27,914 The better shot to learn is the forward defensive shot. 372 00:23:29,856 --> 00:23:31,017 Bowler. 373 00:23:37,397 --> 00:23:40,560 At first, Your Majesty, just try to block it. 374 00:24:05,358 --> 00:24:06,484 Bowler. 375 00:24:06,527 --> 00:24:09,428 Pitch a few up, bowler. Nice and slow. 376 00:24:23,309 --> 00:24:24,936 It's out of here! 377 00:24:42,163 --> 00:24:44,426 MAN ON TV: Although there's a sense of relief... 378 00:24:44,464 --> 00:24:47,457 in most quarters that a sovereign has been found, 379 00:24:47,500 --> 00:24:51,096 doubts remain as to whether the American-born king... 380 00:24:51,137 --> 00:24:53,605 is cut from the proper cloth. 381 00:24:55,009 --> 00:24:57,875 Son of an itinerant pool player, the king's life, thus far, 382 00:24:57,912 --> 00:25:00,938 has been relatively free of achievement. 383 00:25:01,015 --> 00:25:03,813 His mother is currently in prison... 384 00:25:03,851 --> 00:25:05,045 Miranda Greene? 385 00:25:05,085 --> 00:25:06,382 Yes. 386 00:25:06,420 --> 00:25:08,786 I'm Lord Percival Graves. Have you a moment? 387 00:25:08,823 --> 00:25:11,314 It is a matter of some urgency. 388 00:25:11,357 --> 00:25:12,518 Do come in. 389 00:25:14,528 --> 00:25:17,759 I understand you've met our new king. 390 00:25:17,798 --> 00:25:21,164 Yeah, looks like I did. 391 00:25:23,336 --> 00:25:25,862 And you made quite an impression on him. 392 00:25:25,905 --> 00:25:27,395 Who said that? 393 00:25:27,473 --> 00:25:28,498 Have you seen today's "Bugle"? 394 00:25:29,242 --> 00:25:30,903 "Seventy-two percent of the people... 395 00:25:30,978 --> 00:25:32,775 "see the ascendancy to the throne... 396 00:25:32,813 --> 00:25:34,302 "by an American commoner... 397 00:25:34,381 --> 00:25:37,248 "as a serious threat to the status of the monarchy." 398 00:25:37,284 --> 00:25:39,548 What's this got to do with me? 399 00:25:40,453 --> 00:25:42,547 You are in a unique position... 400 00:25:42,589 --> 00:25:45,354 to be of service to your country. 401 00:25:46,559 --> 00:25:48,049 I'm sure that you are aware... 402 00:25:48,095 --> 00:25:49,493 that members of the royal family... 403 00:25:49,529 --> 00:25:52,988 are expected to maintain certain standards, 404 00:25:53,032 --> 00:25:56,001 particularly with regard to the company they keep. 405 00:25:56,036 --> 00:25:57,333 Now... 406 00:25:57,371 --> 00:25:59,862 if the king of England were to become involved... 407 00:25:59,940 --> 00:26:01,201 with someone like you-- 408 00:26:01,275 --> 00:26:02,537 MIRANDA: Someone like me? 409 00:26:02,609 --> 00:26:05,670 The pressure on him to abdicate would be considerable. 410 00:26:05,746 --> 00:26:07,941 You're asking me to sleep with him? 411 00:26:07,981 --> 00:26:10,007 Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 412 00:26:10,084 --> 00:26:11,381 Nothing like that. 413 00:26:11,417 --> 00:26:14,546 I simply want you to spend time with him, 414 00:26:14,587 --> 00:26:17,614 to befriend him, nurture his burgeoning affection... 415 00:26:17,657 --> 00:26:21,115 until such time as a simple photograph can be taken-- 416 00:26:21,161 --> 00:26:23,856 a little snapshot of you together in public. 417 00:26:23,897 --> 00:26:25,229 Forget it. 418 00:26:25,900 --> 00:26:29,426 He is making a mockery of centuries of tradition. 419 00:26:29,470 --> 00:26:31,631 We're on the brink of a national crisis. 420 00:26:31,672 --> 00:26:33,162 I think we'll survive. 421 00:26:33,207 --> 00:26:35,198 What's in this for you? 422 00:26:35,241 --> 00:26:37,767 I'm prepared to make it well worth your while. 423 00:26:37,845 --> 00:26:39,744 Thanks, but I don't need the money. 424 00:26:39,779 --> 00:26:41,144 GRAVES: Ha. 425 00:26:41,181 --> 00:26:42,671 What about your family? 426 00:26:45,118 --> 00:26:47,086 What about them? 427 00:26:47,121 --> 00:26:49,248 Your father and brother have been out of work... 428 00:26:49,289 --> 00:26:51,587 for almost a year, haven't they? 429 00:26:51,625 --> 00:26:54,923 Such a tragedy, the demise of the steel industry. 430 00:26:54,961 --> 00:26:56,361 My inquiries tell me... 431 00:26:56,396 --> 00:26:58,729 that their savings are completely dried up. 432 00:26:58,766 --> 00:27:00,199 Debts are mounting steadily. 433 00:27:00,233 --> 00:27:03,601 It's only a matter of time before the house is repossessed. 434 00:27:05,105 --> 00:27:06,503 Get out. 435 00:27:08,808 --> 00:27:12,210 I don't think you understand quite how much I'm offering. 436 00:27:12,246 --> 00:27:13,440 Close the door. 437 00:27:17,417 --> 00:27:20,114 Fifteen thousand pounds to start, 438 00:27:20,153 --> 00:27:21,347 and if you're successful, 439 00:27:21,387 --> 00:27:24,481 enough to ensure that you never have to worry about money... 440 00:27:24,525 --> 00:27:26,584 for the rest of your life-- 441 00:27:26,626 --> 00:27:28,821 you or your family. 442 00:27:31,131 --> 00:27:32,961 Now, surely you're not prepared... 443 00:27:33,000 --> 00:27:34,467 to sacrifice their future... 444 00:27:34,500 --> 00:27:36,969 for the sake of an American usurper... 445 00:27:37,003 --> 00:27:39,131 that you don't even know? 446 00:27:42,843 --> 00:27:44,173 I think not. 447 00:27:52,086 --> 00:27:53,519 Tea? 448 00:27:57,057 --> 00:27:58,285 [Clank] 449 00:28:02,028 --> 00:28:03,154 Milk? 450 00:28:14,008 --> 00:28:15,167 Sugar? 451 00:28:16,876 --> 00:28:18,344 One lump or two? 452 00:28:26,720 --> 00:28:30,383 Two for me. A little bonus, there. 453 00:28:45,372 --> 00:28:46,702 So, will l-- 454 00:28:47,740 --> 00:28:49,298 What's on the agenda today? 455 00:28:51,845 --> 00:28:54,278 CEDRIC: A word of advice. 456 00:28:54,314 --> 00:28:56,009 When you meet the prime minister, 457 00:28:56,049 --> 00:28:59,212 say "How do you do?" rather than "How you doing?" 458 00:28:59,252 --> 00:29:01,413 RALPH: No problem. How do you do? 459 00:29:01,454 --> 00:29:04,515 Excuse me. I didn't sleep much last night. 460 00:29:04,557 --> 00:29:06,025 I'm still on Vegas time, 461 00:29:06,059 --> 00:29:08,221 plus I haven't had a day job for four years. 462 00:29:08,261 --> 00:29:11,959 I'm more of a night owl, but what the hell. 463 00:29:18,739 --> 00:29:20,205 Your Majesty, may I present... 464 00:29:20,240 --> 00:29:22,730 the prime minister, Geoffrey Hale? 465 00:29:22,776 --> 00:29:23,742 How do you do, Jeff? 466 00:29:24,944 --> 00:29:26,741 HALE: It's a pleasure to meet Your Majesty. 467 00:29:26,779 --> 00:29:28,542 RALPH: You can call me Ralph. 468 00:29:28,582 --> 00:29:30,209 No, I'm afraid I can't. 469 00:29:32,286 --> 00:29:33,275 Shall we sit? 470 00:29:35,122 --> 00:29:36,919 I don't want to keep you long, Your Majesty, 471 00:29:36,957 --> 00:29:40,256 but there is a matter of some pressing national interest. 472 00:29:40,294 --> 00:29:41,989 That's why I'm here. 473 00:29:42,028 --> 00:29:44,155 As you know, there's considerable unrest... 474 00:29:44,198 --> 00:29:45,721 in the countries of Africa, 475 00:29:45,766 --> 00:29:48,758 resulting in the emergence of several new states. 476 00:29:49,470 --> 00:29:50,731 Aha. 477 00:29:50,770 --> 00:29:53,068 The first thing we're going to have to do... 478 00:29:53,106 --> 00:29:54,903 is buy all new globes. 479 00:29:54,974 --> 00:29:57,636 Beyond that, I don't think we should rush into anything. 480 00:29:57,711 --> 00:30:02,010 There's no problem that can't be ignored if we try. 481 00:30:02,048 --> 00:30:05,576 Well, of these new states, Zambezi is the most important, 482 00:30:05,618 --> 00:30:08,212 owing to its recently discovered mineral wealth. 483 00:30:08,255 --> 00:30:10,222 That's pretty much my feeling on it. 484 00:30:10,257 --> 00:30:13,124 So we've decided to invite King Mulambon of Zambezi... 485 00:30:13,160 --> 00:30:15,295 to visit England on the 23rd. 486 00:30:15,295 --> 00:30:17,762 I didn't know Zambezi even had a king. 487 00:30:17,798 --> 00:30:19,355 They didn't until recently. 488 00:30:19,398 --> 00:30:21,866 Mulambon is very anxious to legitimize himself... 489 00:30:21,902 --> 00:30:26,338 by rubbing elbows with the royal houses of Europe. 490 00:30:26,373 --> 00:30:27,771 Your Majesty, we would be grateful... 491 00:30:27,840 --> 00:30:32,642 if you would host a reception for...him. 492 00:30:32,679 --> 00:30:35,010 [Snoring] 493 00:30:35,048 --> 00:30:37,346 You'll have to excuse him, Prime Minister. 494 00:30:37,384 --> 00:30:39,352 He is more of a night owl. 495 00:30:41,355 --> 00:30:42,845 Extraordinary fellow. 496 00:30:42,890 --> 00:30:45,324 Could I have a word with you? 497 00:30:45,358 --> 00:30:47,019 He simply won't do. 498 00:30:47,059 --> 00:30:50,325 He's common, ignorant, and extremely ill-mannered. 499 00:30:50,364 --> 00:30:52,298 The man's an orangutan. 500 00:30:52,332 --> 00:30:55,732 God help us with the king of Zambezi. 501 00:30:57,738 --> 00:30:59,500 [Singing] Well, be-bop a-lula 502 00:30:59,539 --> 00:31:03,306 She's my a-baby 503 00:31:03,376 --> 00:31:05,345 Be-bop a-lula 504 00:31:05,378 --> 00:31:06,846 I don't mean maybe-- 505 00:31:06,880 --> 00:31:08,779 CEDRIC: Your Majesty. RALPH: Yes? 506 00:31:08,815 --> 00:31:11,181 Did you have a nice nap? 507 00:31:11,218 --> 00:31:14,186 Guess the old jet lag caught up with me. 508 00:31:14,221 --> 00:31:15,551 I'm ready now, though. 509 00:31:15,588 --> 00:31:17,056 There's much to cover. 510 00:31:17,089 --> 00:31:20,820 The new uniforms are ready, and I brought you some books-- 511 00:31:20,861 --> 00:31:22,327 one on English history, 512 00:31:22,362 --> 00:31:24,296 one on the lives of the monarchs, 513 00:31:24,330 --> 00:31:25,820 and a primer on etiquette. 514 00:31:25,865 --> 00:31:28,334 -What's this? -Date night. 515 00:31:28,367 --> 00:31:31,269 Where does a king go to eat some sushi? 516 00:31:31,305 --> 00:31:34,762 CEDRIC: We have no time to arrange the proper security. 517 00:31:34,840 --> 00:31:36,808 What, the Japanese are dangerous here? 518 00:31:36,843 --> 00:31:39,310 CEDRIC: There are elements at large in the world... 519 00:31:39,346 --> 00:31:42,372 who might seek to harm the king of England. 520 00:31:42,449 --> 00:31:43,415 What kind of harm? 521 00:31:43,482 --> 00:31:45,951 Kidnapping you for ransom. 522 00:31:45,986 --> 00:31:48,385 In some cases, even-- 523 00:31:48,422 --> 00:31:50,287 Even what, killing me? 524 00:31:50,324 --> 00:31:53,781 Ced, I can't take too many more of these surprises. 525 00:31:53,826 --> 00:31:56,590 Phipps just talked about castles and boats. 526 00:31:56,630 --> 00:31:58,859 We didn't want to alarm you. 527 00:31:58,898 --> 00:32:01,867 There's nothing to fear once precautions are taken. 528 00:32:01,902 --> 00:32:03,836 You must accept some limitations... 529 00:32:03,869 --> 00:32:06,702 on your personal freedom and on your wardrobe. 530 00:32:06,740 --> 00:32:09,367 So far, there are no royal luaus planned. 531 00:32:09,442 --> 00:32:12,878 I still got to get this date in. 532 00:32:12,945 --> 00:32:14,606 I am the king, right? 533 00:32:17,451 --> 00:32:20,817 Very well...Your Maj. 534 00:32:27,861 --> 00:32:29,795 MAN: With the king's special permission, Harry. 535 00:32:29,829 --> 00:32:31,319 Go on through. 536 00:32:45,244 --> 00:32:47,769 Miss Greene, Your Majesty. 537 00:32:48,848 --> 00:32:50,248 Your Majesty. 538 00:32:50,284 --> 00:32:52,218 You don't have to worry about that. 539 00:32:52,251 --> 00:32:54,277 And, please, call me Ralph. 540 00:32:54,320 --> 00:32:56,788 Oh, I'm sorry. I could never do that. 541 00:32:56,823 --> 00:32:58,814 Yeah. God knows what could happen. 542 00:33:05,298 --> 00:33:07,357 Well, I guess it's just the seven of us. 543 00:33:08,468 --> 00:33:09,958 That was a lovely dinner. 544 00:33:10,002 --> 00:33:12,971 I can't believe I'm eating in the Throne Room. 545 00:33:13,006 --> 00:33:15,769 Yeah, well, Willingham wanted it to be intimate. 546 00:33:15,842 --> 00:33:19,038 I asked Gordon for some music we could dance to. 547 00:33:20,513 --> 00:33:21,913 Ah. Here's dessert. 548 00:33:23,784 --> 00:33:25,011 Would you care for some spotted-- 549 00:33:31,124 --> 00:33:32,284 Dick? 550 00:33:33,527 --> 00:33:34,516 Yeah. 551 00:33:36,563 --> 00:33:39,030 I came to London to study design. 552 00:33:39,066 --> 00:33:40,532 I tried exotic dancing... 553 00:33:40,567 --> 00:33:42,693 because I needed some extra money. 554 00:33:42,736 --> 00:33:45,203 I went to night school for a bit. 555 00:33:45,238 --> 00:33:49,470 When my dad lost his job, I started sending money home. 556 00:33:49,542 --> 00:33:52,171 There wasn't enough left to go to school. 557 00:33:52,244 --> 00:33:54,611 I don't know if I'll ever go back. 558 00:33:55,048 --> 00:33:56,913 Something will break for you. 559 00:33:56,950 --> 00:33:58,747 I've never done anything my whole life. 560 00:33:58,785 --> 00:34:01,116 Look where I am. There. 561 00:34:02,288 --> 00:34:04,450 -What's this? -What's what? 562 00:34:04,490 --> 00:34:06,549 There's no such word as "yo." 563 00:34:06,593 --> 00:34:10,494 I use it all the time. You don't have to look it up. 564 00:34:10,530 --> 00:34:12,157 We're using the King's English. 565 00:34:12,199 --> 00:34:13,996 If I say it, it's a word. 566 00:34:14,034 --> 00:34:17,992 The Y's on a triple word score. I'm catching up. 567 00:34:18,038 --> 00:34:20,369 Narrowed the gap to 164 points. 568 00:34:27,146 --> 00:34:28,375 What? 569 00:34:28,414 --> 00:34:30,382 I don't know. 570 00:34:30,416 --> 00:34:32,715 You're not the kind of girl I'm used to. 571 00:34:32,753 --> 00:34:35,221 You can spell, you wear clothes to work. 572 00:34:35,255 --> 00:34:37,119 You just have more class. 573 00:34:37,157 --> 00:34:39,784 I'm just a salesgirl from south London. 574 00:34:39,826 --> 00:34:41,885 Doesn't count for much class down here, 575 00:34:41,927 --> 00:34:43,452 but it's nice of you to say so. 576 00:34:43,496 --> 00:34:48,161 Our deal was one date, but could we extend it? 577 00:34:48,201 --> 00:34:50,532 You don't really know me. 578 00:34:51,905 --> 00:34:54,498 There are things about me you might not like. 579 00:34:54,574 --> 00:34:55,666 Like what? 580 00:34:55,742 --> 00:34:58,175 You're beautiful, you're smart, you're honest. 581 00:34:59,945 --> 00:35:01,003 I should go. 582 00:35:05,184 --> 00:35:06,777 Thank you for a lovely evening. 583 00:35:06,820 --> 00:35:08,117 Thank you. 584 00:35:10,657 --> 00:35:12,625 [Door opens] 585 00:35:12,659 --> 00:35:15,422 I'm sorry it took so long, Your Majesty, 586 00:35:15,461 --> 00:35:17,429 but I found you some music. 587 00:35:23,302 --> 00:35:25,065 CEDRIC: Don't fall in love. 588 00:35:25,105 --> 00:35:27,231 CEDRIC: It wouldn't work out. RALPH: Why not? 589 00:35:27,306 --> 00:35:28,568 CEDRIC: As king, you are expected... 590 00:35:28,641 --> 00:35:30,438 to marry a woman of noble birth, 591 00:35:30,510 --> 00:35:33,775 particularly given your less-than-perfect breeding, 592 00:35:33,813 --> 00:35:36,112 and Miss Greene, fetching as she may be, 593 00:35:36,148 --> 00:35:37,980 does not qualify. 594 00:35:38,018 --> 00:35:39,644 Your Majesty may remember... 595 00:35:39,686 --> 00:35:42,985 in 1936, King Edward fell in love with a commoner... 596 00:35:43,023 --> 00:35:44,990 and had to abdicate his throne. 597 00:35:45,025 --> 00:35:46,958 The House of Wyndham can ill afford... 598 00:35:46,992 --> 00:35:48,722 another such disaster. 599 00:35:48,762 --> 00:35:51,753 I just want to take her out. 600 00:35:51,797 --> 00:35:53,094 With all due respect, 601 00:35:53,132 --> 00:35:55,101 it would be best for both of you... 602 00:35:55,135 --> 00:35:57,831 if you did not see Miss Greene at all. 603 00:35:57,871 --> 00:36:00,135 But if you insist, 604 00:36:00,172 --> 00:36:03,199 it's imperative that you only see her at the palace. 605 00:36:05,144 --> 00:36:08,807 Here's a poem to remember the order of kings. 606 00:36:08,849 --> 00:36:12,443 l, Il, III Eds, Richard Il, Henry IV, V, Vl, then who? 607 00:36:12,485 --> 00:36:15,978 Edward IV, V, Rich the Bad, then Richard the Third, 608 00:36:16,021 --> 00:36:18,320 then Henrys Twice and Ed the Lad. 609 00:36:18,358 --> 00:36:22,157 Mary, Lizzie, James the Vain, Charlie, Charlie, James again. 610 00:36:22,195 --> 00:36:25,164 MAN: She's already seen him twice this week. 611 00:36:25,197 --> 00:36:27,791 We could tip off the press next time she goes. 612 00:36:27,833 --> 00:36:29,858 Have some photographers outside. 613 00:36:29,902 --> 00:36:31,871 No, let's wait a bit longer. 614 00:36:31,905 --> 00:36:36,467 Give him enough time to become hopelessly infatuated. Pull. 615 00:36:40,146 --> 00:36:42,170 This is what I call a room. 616 00:36:56,896 --> 00:36:58,762 Your Majesty, his most sovereign king, 617 00:36:58,797 --> 00:37:01,266 Mulambon of Zambezi. 618 00:37:03,103 --> 00:37:04,900 Welcome, Your Majesty. 619 00:37:04,938 --> 00:37:08,237 On behalf of the people of the United Kingdom... 620 00:37:08,307 --> 00:37:10,036 CEDRIC: And the commonwealth. 621 00:37:10,744 --> 00:37:13,577 And the commonwealth for which we--no. 622 00:37:13,612 --> 00:37:17,673 It's a great pleasure... to have you as our guest. 623 00:37:17,717 --> 00:37:20,184 We hope you had a pleasant trip. 624 00:37:22,822 --> 00:37:24,949 Oh, look, honey, see the swan? 625 00:37:27,393 --> 00:37:29,793 MAN: Press the knees tight in. Sit back. 626 00:37:29,829 --> 00:37:31,295 Grip with the knees. 627 00:37:31,331 --> 00:37:33,856 Heels down. Heels down. 628 00:37:33,900 --> 00:37:36,130 RALPH: Whoa! Whoa! 629 00:37:36,168 --> 00:37:37,135 MAN: Your Majesty. 630 00:37:37,170 --> 00:37:39,501 RALPH: Whoa, whoa. Whoa. 631 00:38:13,072 --> 00:38:15,233 Hello. News desk? 632 00:38:15,307 --> 00:38:18,402 I have something you might be interested in. 633 00:38:25,851 --> 00:38:27,148 Oh. 634 00:38:27,186 --> 00:38:29,018 Ooh. 635 00:38:37,797 --> 00:38:41,755 DUNCAN: When in public, a royal personage must refrain... 636 00:38:41,800 --> 00:38:44,735 from chewing gum, using profanity, 637 00:38:44,771 --> 00:38:48,764 picking his nose, scratching his private parts, 638 00:38:48,842 --> 00:38:52,277 and staring down the bust lines of visiting female dignitaries. 639 00:38:52,311 --> 00:38:53,677 That's everything. 640 00:38:53,713 --> 00:38:54,771 CEDRIC: Good morning, Your Majesty. 641 00:38:54,847 --> 00:38:55,940 RALPH: Hey, Ced. 642 00:38:56,016 --> 00:38:57,983 CEDRIC: I have distressing news. 643 00:38:58,018 --> 00:39:01,248 Miss Greene's presence here did not go unnoticed. 644 00:39:04,490 --> 00:39:08,222 CEDRIC: Your Majesty, this gives you little choice... 645 00:39:08,260 --> 00:39:10,559 but to end your friendship with Miss Greene. 646 00:39:10,597 --> 00:39:14,157 RALPH: What? I can't do that. I don't want to. 647 00:39:14,199 --> 00:39:16,327 CEDRIC: We'll find you an exemplary consort, 648 00:39:16,369 --> 00:39:19,304 a woman of such distinction as to far exceed your standards. 649 00:39:19,338 --> 00:39:21,670 RALPH: I like my standards down where they are. 650 00:39:22,242 --> 00:39:23,675 RALPH: Welcome, Your Majesty. 651 00:39:23,710 --> 00:39:26,304 On behalf of the United Kingdom, 652 00:39:26,378 --> 00:39:28,403 it's our pleasure to have you as our guest. 653 00:39:28,481 --> 00:39:30,244 Welcome, Your Majesty. 654 00:39:30,282 --> 00:39:32,148 On behalf of the people... 655 00:39:33,719 --> 00:39:36,347 Come on, Ralph. Don't blow it now. 656 00:39:36,389 --> 00:39:39,358 Don't worry, Your Majesty. You'll be fine. 657 00:39:39,391 --> 00:39:40,552 [Door opens] 658 00:39:54,340 --> 00:39:57,206 CEDRIC: Your Majesty, may I present His Royal Highness, 659 00:39:57,242 --> 00:40:00,211 King Mulambon of Zambezi? 660 00:40:01,414 --> 00:40:03,813 RALPH: Hey, homes. What's happening? 661 00:40:03,849 --> 00:40:05,282 Gimme a quintet, brother. 662 00:40:07,420 --> 00:40:09,751 I do not comprehend, Your Majesty. 663 00:40:19,666 --> 00:40:21,463 Welcome, Your Majesty. 664 00:40:21,501 --> 00:40:24,992 On behalf of the people of the United Kingdom... 665 00:40:38,717 --> 00:40:40,447 Want to go get a beer? 666 00:40:44,190 --> 00:40:48,260 Do you feel being king is tougher than you thought? 667 00:40:48,260 --> 00:40:49,956 It is difficult sometimes, 668 00:40:49,996 --> 00:40:51,963 what with all the ceremonial duties... 669 00:40:51,998 --> 00:40:53,487 and official obligations, 670 00:40:53,532 --> 00:40:55,000 but I'm quite pleased... 671 00:40:55,034 --> 00:40:58,161 with the economic progress my country has made. 672 00:40:58,204 --> 00:41:00,900 We are hoping to be the first in Africa... 673 00:41:00,940 --> 00:41:02,668 to market an automobile. 674 00:41:02,742 --> 00:41:05,403 I might be in the market myself soon. 675 00:41:05,478 --> 00:41:08,003 The Rolls just doesn't have much poop. 676 00:41:08,081 --> 00:41:10,447 -Will it have fuel injection? -Oh, yes. Everything. 677 00:41:10,483 --> 00:41:12,951 Five-speed transmission, rack-and-pinion steering. 678 00:41:12,985 --> 00:41:14,748 Reclining buckets? Rear spoiler? 679 00:41:14,788 --> 00:41:17,222 No, but it'll get excellent gas mileage. 680 00:41:17,257 --> 00:41:18,554 Gas mileage is fine, 681 00:41:18,590 --> 00:41:21,219 but the first question car buyers ask themselves is, 682 00:41:21,260 --> 00:41:24,094 "Will this get me laid?" 683 00:41:26,965 --> 00:41:28,523 Beautifully stated. 684 00:41:30,536 --> 00:41:33,768 Ah! Well, looks like that's all she wrote. 685 00:41:33,806 --> 00:41:34,967 Want to go again? 686 00:41:37,010 --> 00:41:38,135 Yes. 687 00:41:48,086 --> 00:41:50,487 RALPH: What was that, a five? MULAMBON: No, a three. 688 00:41:50,523 --> 00:41:52,547 Isn't it on the line? 689 00:41:52,592 --> 00:41:54,492 I plan to claim victory with this throw. 690 00:41:54,527 --> 00:41:56,518 Careful not to foot fault. 691 00:41:56,563 --> 00:41:59,588 If he gets anything better than seven, we're screwed. 692 00:42:16,548 --> 00:42:18,949 Know where I can get a set of those? 693 00:42:18,985 --> 00:42:20,418 I'll send you one. 694 00:42:20,452 --> 00:42:22,512 I've been meaning to ask you, 695 00:42:22,554 --> 00:42:25,023 do they tell you who to date over there? 696 00:42:25,057 --> 00:42:27,548 Of course not. I am the king. 697 00:42:29,829 --> 00:42:32,592 Damn. I knew I was getting hosed over here. 698 00:42:36,835 --> 00:42:39,396 I think he did well, considering. 699 00:42:39,438 --> 00:42:40,996 It could have been worse. 700 00:42:41,039 --> 00:42:43,769 Yes. He could have exposed himself. 701 00:42:43,842 --> 00:42:46,402 [Ring] 702 00:42:46,478 --> 00:42:50,347 Yes? The prime minister for you, sir. 703 00:42:52,585 --> 00:42:54,576 Good afternoon, Prime Minister. 704 00:42:55,320 --> 00:42:56,811 Yes. 705 00:42:57,824 --> 00:42:58,916 Oh, really? 706 00:43:00,293 --> 00:43:03,489 It's a strange world we live in, isn't it, sir? 707 00:43:03,528 --> 00:43:05,018 Yes, thank you. 708 00:43:05,063 --> 00:43:06,190 Good-bye. 709 00:43:08,701 --> 00:43:11,168 The prime minister just spoke to King Mulambon. 710 00:43:11,204 --> 00:43:12,534 The king said he couldn't remember... 711 00:43:12,572 --> 00:43:15,268 when he'd had so much fun. 712 00:43:20,112 --> 00:43:21,273 Sherry? 713 00:43:21,347 --> 00:43:23,177 Please. Yes. 714 00:43:23,215 --> 00:43:25,081 King Ralph seems to have passed... 715 00:43:25,117 --> 00:43:28,246 his first diplomatic test with high marks. 716 00:43:28,288 --> 00:43:29,755 The king's personal style, 717 00:43:29,789 --> 00:43:32,815 which had raised some eyebrows in official circles, 718 00:43:32,858 --> 00:43:37,626 is now being characterized as a breath of fresh air. 719 00:43:37,664 --> 00:43:39,291 In other-- 720 00:43:39,331 --> 00:43:41,356 Congratulations, Your Majesty. 721 00:43:41,400 --> 00:43:45,063 We were nervous when we decided to take a chance on you, 722 00:43:45,103 --> 00:43:46,594 but, uh... 723 00:43:49,141 --> 00:43:50,802 I really did all right? 724 00:43:50,876 --> 00:43:53,777 Yes, Your Majesty. Don't let it go to your head. 725 00:43:53,813 --> 00:43:55,177 Today's breath of fresh air... 726 00:43:55,213 --> 00:43:57,773 can quickly become tomorrow's ill wind. 727 00:43:57,817 --> 00:44:02,117 Nowthat that's over, I can take a vacation, right? 728 00:44:02,155 --> 00:44:04,248 CEDRIC: Hardly. We will have to increase... 729 00:44:04,289 --> 00:44:05,621 your public appearances... 730 00:44:05,657 --> 00:44:07,284 in light of your growing popularity, 731 00:44:07,327 --> 00:44:09,226 and the ball season will soon be upon us. 732 00:44:09,262 --> 00:44:10,889 You'll need dance lessons-- 733 00:44:10,929 --> 00:44:14,331 waltz, fox trot, even eights and reels. 734 00:44:14,367 --> 00:44:17,597 I haven't had a day off since I've been here. 735 00:44:17,637 --> 00:44:21,630 I can't go out, I eat alone, I live in a museum. 736 00:44:21,708 --> 00:44:24,677 -You'll adjust. -I got no family, no sex life-- 737 00:44:24,744 --> 00:44:26,677 Good. Less chance for a scandal. 738 00:44:26,713 --> 00:44:28,476 I don't see anybody that doesn't work for me. 739 00:44:28,514 --> 00:44:30,481 I'm getting palace fever. 740 00:44:30,516 --> 00:44:32,780 Are you telling me in your American way... 741 00:44:32,818 --> 00:44:34,309 that you are lonely? 742 00:44:34,353 --> 00:44:35,480 Yeah. 743 00:44:35,521 --> 00:44:38,648 Don't lose patience. We're working on the problem. 744 00:44:39,525 --> 00:44:40,856 Good evening. 745 00:44:47,000 --> 00:44:49,628 I'll give you guys one more chance. 746 00:44:49,668 --> 00:44:50,829 Fetch! 747 00:44:55,208 --> 00:44:59,201 CEDRIC: Sir Guy Cracknell, knight of the British Empire. 748 00:45:09,989 --> 00:45:12,786 Ooh. Ooh, I'm sorry. 749 00:45:12,824 --> 00:45:14,985 Oh. Are you all right? I got him. I got him good. 750 00:45:15,027 --> 00:45:18,519 I'm sorry. Really, I'm terribly sorry. 751 00:45:30,076 --> 00:45:31,838 I got to get out of here. 752 00:45:44,757 --> 00:45:46,246 [Beep beep] 753 00:45:55,233 --> 00:45:58,202 Your evening cocoa, Your Majesty. 754 00:45:58,237 --> 00:46:00,704 RALPH: You haven't seen this, Gordon. 755 00:46:00,739 --> 00:46:02,798 Haven't seen what, Your Majesty? 756 00:46:02,875 --> 00:46:05,105 I really need a night out, Gordon. 757 00:46:05,177 --> 00:46:07,737 There are easier ways. 758 00:46:28,266 --> 00:46:29,324 Stay, boy. 759 00:46:29,367 --> 00:46:30,766 Stay. 760 00:46:33,739 --> 00:46:35,365 [Telephone rings] 761 00:46:36,576 --> 00:46:37,668 [Ring] 762 00:46:37,742 --> 00:46:38,835 Hello. 763 00:46:38,911 --> 00:46:40,878 Congratulations, my dear. 764 00:46:40,947 --> 00:46:42,914 The king has broken out of the palace... 765 00:46:42,949 --> 00:46:46,043 and is at this moment on his way to you. 766 00:46:46,085 --> 00:46:50,612 When he calls, meet him wherever he chooses. 767 00:46:50,655 --> 00:46:53,954 There will be a photographer following you. 768 00:46:53,992 --> 00:46:57,257 Make sure that he gets what he needs. 769 00:46:57,295 --> 00:46:58,661 Good luck. 770 00:47:07,806 --> 00:47:09,297 Oh, yeah. 771 00:47:12,077 --> 00:47:13,545 Hello, Miranda? 772 00:47:13,612 --> 00:47:15,239 It's me--Ralph. 773 00:47:20,353 --> 00:47:23,014 Am I glad to see you. People are looking at me funny. 774 00:47:23,054 --> 00:47:24,317 -You're here alone? -Yeah. 775 00:47:24,356 --> 00:47:27,086 There's something I've wanted to do. 776 00:47:27,126 --> 00:47:30,219 Two Double Whoppers with fries and two giant Cokes. 777 00:47:30,262 --> 00:47:34,597 Two Double Whoppers, two fries, two giants! 778 00:47:34,634 --> 00:47:37,034 Got any money? I haven't been paid yet. 779 00:47:37,068 --> 00:47:38,797 You know, you look familiar. 780 00:47:41,907 --> 00:47:43,398 Aren't you-- 781 00:47:43,476 --> 00:47:46,309 Yeah, you are, aren't you? 782 00:47:46,344 --> 00:47:47,902 You're the new king! 783 00:47:47,980 --> 00:47:49,277 What, are you crazy? 784 00:47:49,315 --> 00:47:51,282 What would I be doing here? 785 00:47:51,317 --> 00:47:52,443 There's the king! 786 00:47:52,485 --> 00:47:53,577 There's the king! 787 00:47:53,619 --> 00:47:55,780 Could I have a burger, please? 788 00:47:58,391 --> 00:47:59,550 RALPH: No. You got the wrong guy. 789 00:47:59,592 --> 00:48:02,059 You got the wrong guy. I ain't him. 790 00:48:02,094 --> 00:48:03,322 GIRL: Oh, please, Your Majesty. 791 00:48:03,429 --> 00:48:06,364 All right, all right. One or two. One or two. 792 00:48:07,199 --> 00:48:09,793 Your Majesty, here's a burger on the house. 793 00:48:17,009 --> 00:48:18,976 I think I'll need a new burger. 794 00:48:19,010 --> 00:48:20,103 MAN: Over here, Your Majesty. 795 00:48:21,780 --> 00:48:23,681 RALPH: Maybe just one quick one. 796 00:48:23,715 --> 00:48:25,012 Could you move a little closer together? 797 00:48:25,050 --> 00:48:26,677 That's lovely. 798 00:48:26,719 --> 00:48:29,710 Put your arm around him and give him a kiss. 799 00:48:30,889 --> 00:48:32,186 Very nice. 800 00:48:35,393 --> 00:48:37,692 -Why'd you do that? -We got to go. 801 00:48:37,730 --> 00:48:39,094 The fries aren't ready. 802 00:48:39,130 --> 00:48:41,360 MIRANDA: There's going to be photographers everywhere. 803 00:48:41,400 --> 00:48:44,597 RALPH: How about onion rings? MAN: I've got your burger! 804 00:48:47,773 --> 00:48:49,740 MIRANDA: You should get back to the palace now. 805 00:48:49,775 --> 00:48:51,572 RALPH: I don't want to. 806 00:48:51,643 --> 00:48:53,612 There's got to be someplace we can go. 807 00:48:53,679 --> 00:48:55,510 MIRANDA: Well, maybe one. 808 00:48:55,547 --> 00:49:00,007 MIRANDA: Two, three, four. Side. 809 00:49:00,052 --> 00:49:03,021 Two, three, four. 810 00:49:03,054 --> 00:49:07,423 Forward, two, three, four. Side. 811 00:49:07,460 --> 00:49:10,896 RALPH: Hope you're not upset about this mystery woman thing. 812 00:49:10,929 --> 00:49:12,226 MIRANDA: The girls at work said... 813 00:49:12,264 --> 00:49:13,925 it was probably some East End tart... 814 00:49:13,965 --> 00:49:16,400 trying to get her picture in the papers. 815 00:49:20,840 --> 00:49:24,833 I wish we could meet again somewhere else... 816 00:49:25,478 --> 00:49:27,445 in different circumstances. 817 00:49:27,480 --> 00:49:29,311 RALPH: Different circumstances? 818 00:49:30,315 --> 00:49:32,784 We got the park. We got the lake. 819 00:49:32,818 --> 00:49:34,114 We got the moon. We got the stars. 820 00:49:34,152 --> 00:49:35,847 What else do we need? 821 00:49:36,755 --> 00:49:37,949 MIRANDA: Yeah. 822 00:49:39,090 --> 00:49:42,686 What? What is it, this commoner thing? 823 00:49:42,728 --> 00:49:44,389 Edward Vlll and that Wallis broad? 824 00:49:44,429 --> 00:49:46,125 That was 50 years ago. 825 00:49:46,164 --> 00:49:47,632 This is the nineties. 826 00:49:47,666 --> 00:49:49,931 We got to be able to work something out. 827 00:49:49,969 --> 00:49:51,664 Anything's possible. 828 00:49:51,704 --> 00:49:53,898 Not in England. 829 00:49:53,938 --> 00:49:55,769 Not for royalty. 830 00:49:55,840 --> 00:49:57,137 Don't say that. 831 00:49:58,643 --> 00:50:00,110 I can't see myself making it here... 832 00:50:00,179 --> 00:50:01,646 without you, Miranda. 833 00:50:30,876 --> 00:50:33,173 GRAVES: Now, this is exceptional. 834 00:50:33,211 --> 00:50:34,371 You realize, don't you, 835 00:50:34,447 --> 00:50:36,175 that you're looking at the fall... 836 00:50:36,215 --> 00:50:37,978 of the House of Wyndham? 837 00:50:38,016 --> 00:50:41,315 Before long, the House of Stuart will be restored... 838 00:50:41,353 --> 00:50:43,481 to its rightful place. 839 00:50:43,521 --> 00:50:45,114 And you, Gordon, 840 00:50:45,157 --> 00:50:48,284 will be private secretary to the king. 841 00:50:49,260 --> 00:50:50,454 Thank you. 842 00:50:50,496 --> 00:50:51,963 GORDON: Excuse me, my lord. 843 00:50:51,996 --> 00:50:55,364 A Miss Miranda Greene to see you. 844 00:51:05,378 --> 00:51:06,936 Lord Graves. 845 00:51:07,012 --> 00:51:10,038 What an unexpected surprise. 846 00:51:11,150 --> 00:51:12,208 Here's your money. 847 00:51:12,251 --> 00:51:14,411 All of it. 848 00:51:14,452 --> 00:51:15,750 I'm just glad that I got out now... 849 00:51:15,788 --> 00:51:18,119 before any real damage was done. 850 00:51:22,260 --> 00:51:24,387 GRAVES: You can't bluff me. 851 00:51:24,429 --> 00:51:29,264 I know what you're after. You just want more money. 852 00:51:29,300 --> 00:51:33,431 You're right. Then there'd be more to give back. 853 00:51:35,541 --> 00:51:37,532 Come back here, you little strumpet! 854 00:51:43,615 --> 00:51:45,550 Ah, I rather enjoyed that. 855 00:51:54,293 --> 00:51:56,920 CEDRIC: Welcome to Windsor castle. 856 00:51:56,961 --> 00:51:58,724 The prime minister will be here shortly. 857 00:51:58,764 --> 00:52:01,096 He wishes to talk to you. 858 00:52:02,168 --> 00:52:05,626 The peak goes to the front, Your Majesty. 859 00:52:05,670 --> 00:52:07,137 HALE: Nowthat you've handled... 860 00:52:07,172 --> 00:52:09,641 the Zambezi reception so famously, 861 00:52:09,708 --> 00:52:14,077 we feel you can help with a matter of greater import. 862 00:52:15,347 --> 00:52:17,815 I don't know whether you're aware of it or not, 863 00:52:17,849 --> 00:52:20,545 but Finland recently discovered large oil deposits... 864 00:52:20,585 --> 00:52:23,019 in their area of the Baltic. 865 00:52:23,054 --> 00:52:25,489 One of our companies is bidding for the contract... 866 00:52:25,523 --> 00:52:28,789 to supply the platforms and drilling equipment, 867 00:52:28,827 --> 00:52:32,195 a contract that could create thousands of jobs. 868 00:52:32,231 --> 00:52:34,699 Unfortunately, we're getting spirited competition... 869 00:52:34,733 --> 00:52:36,132 from the Japanese. 870 00:52:36,168 --> 00:52:39,103 RALPH: They can cause problems. What are we hunting? 871 00:52:39,137 --> 00:52:41,572 CEDRIC: I believe it's pheasant, Your Majesty. 872 00:52:41,606 --> 00:52:45,099 HALE: At present, the competition is a tossup. 873 00:52:45,177 --> 00:52:47,644 However, we have another ace. 874 00:52:47,713 --> 00:52:51,547 The king of Finland is visiting here in two weeks. 875 00:52:51,583 --> 00:52:54,052 -ls this gun loaded, Ced? -Yes. 876 00:52:54,085 --> 00:52:56,713 You will host a royal banquet for him. 877 00:52:56,755 --> 00:52:58,222 Banquet? 878 00:52:58,257 --> 00:53:02,284 Yes. We won't get by on pretzels and beer this time. 879 00:53:02,327 --> 00:53:05,490 The king will bring his daughter, Princess Anna, 880 00:53:05,530 --> 00:53:08,500 one of the world's most socially desirable women. 881 00:53:08,534 --> 00:53:11,559 -Does that mean she's ugly? -Oh, far from it. 882 00:53:11,603 --> 00:53:13,833 We're organizing a ball to followthe banquet... 883 00:53:13,873 --> 00:53:16,398 so that you two can get to know each other. 884 00:53:17,009 --> 00:53:18,635 Excuse me, Your Majesty. 885 00:53:18,710 --> 00:53:20,110 The beaters are approaching. 886 00:53:20,144 --> 00:53:22,170 [Dogs barking, men whistling] 887 00:53:25,583 --> 00:53:28,052 CEDRIC: Here they come, Your Majesty. 888 00:53:28,086 --> 00:53:29,213 They're over. 889 00:53:32,525 --> 00:53:33,856 Did I get one? 890 00:53:33,893 --> 00:53:36,760 CEDRIC: Fortunately it's only a flesh wound. 891 00:53:36,795 --> 00:53:38,762 If everything proceeds accordingly, 892 00:53:38,797 --> 00:53:40,264 this ball will lead... 893 00:53:40,298 --> 00:53:43,291 toward the royal wedding of the century. 894 00:53:43,335 --> 00:53:45,826 Wedding? You mean her and me? 895 00:53:45,871 --> 00:53:47,338 HALE: Yes, you and her. 896 00:53:48,340 --> 00:53:50,170 You can't tell me who to marry. 897 00:53:50,242 --> 00:53:52,710 Isn't being the king worth something? 898 00:53:52,744 --> 00:53:55,713 That's why you must marry, to protect your birthright. 899 00:53:55,748 --> 00:53:57,715 What about matters of the heart? 900 00:53:57,750 --> 00:54:00,217 They must be subordinated to the good of the monarchy. 901 00:54:00,251 --> 00:54:02,219 You're the last Wyndham. 902 00:54:02,253 --> 00:54:04,153 A queen must be found to perpetuate the line. 903 00:54:04,188 --> 00:54:08,626 Princess Anna is the best of the acceptable candidates. 904 00:54:08,661 --> 00:54:11,128 You must put aside your personal desires. 905 00:54:11,163 --> 00:54:14,155 A king's life is not always his own! 906 00:54:14,199 --> 00:54:16,530 -You're serious about this? -Yes. 907 00:54:16,568 --> 00:54:17,900 I got news for you. 908 00:54:17,936 --> 00:54:21,030 My life is my own, and I can't take this anymore. 909 00:54:21,072 --> 00:54:22,699 I got everything in the world here... 910 00:54:22,775 --> 00:54:23,934 and nothing I need! 911 00:54:24,009 --> 00:54:25,704 No friends, no freedom, no fun! 912 00:54:25,777 --> 00:54:28,746 In the States, I could screw up my life as I sawfit. 913 00:54:28,780 --> 00:54:31,248 Shove this job down somebody else's throat, 914 00:54:31,282 --> 00:54:33,478 'cause I quit! I'm out of here! 915 00:54:40,326 --> 00:54:42,487 You'd walk out on the English people? 916 00:54:42,527 --> 00:54:44,496 I told you I was the wrong guy. 917 00:54:44,530 --> 00:54:47,054 It seems you're wrong for everything, Ralph. 918 00:54:47,099 --> 00:54:49,862 Who you calling Ralph? It's Your Majesty. 919 00:54:49,902 --> 00:54:53,268 Not anymore. You quit, just as you quit the bear scouts. 920 00:54:53,304 --> 00:54:55,534 -Cub Scouts. -Little league, 921 00:54:55,608 --> 00:54:59,168 three colleges, and an assortment of jobs. 922 00:54:59,244 --> 00:55:02,543 You're asking me to quit Miranda and any chance at a normal life. 923 00:55:02,581 --> 00:55:04,673 No. That shirt is not yours. 924 00:55:05,516 --> 00:55:07,541 I wasn't born to this royalty crap. 925 00:55:07,585 --> 00:55:09,815 I can't accept these stupid restrictions. 926 00:55:09,855 --> 00:55:13,119 What of the workers who will benefit from this contract? 927 00:55:13,157 --> 00:55:15,217 RALPH: Maybe something else will come along. 928 00:55:15,260 --> 00:55:16,521 You'd bet their future... 929 00:55:16,561 --> 00:55:18,826 for a woman you've known a few weeks? 930 00:55:18,864 --> 00:55:21,195 You're asking me to marry a woman I don't know at all. 931 00:55:21,233 --> 00:55:24,168 Think of something larger than yourself... 932 00:55:24,202 --> 00:55:27,467 to accept a significant responsibility for once... 933 00:55:27,505 --> 00:55:30,963 without beating retreat at the first difficulty. 934 00:55:31,010 --> 00:55:32,637 England's throne is not a job... 935 00:55:32,710 --> 00:55:36,043 to discard when it conflicts with your bowling night. 936 00:55:36,081 --> 00:55:37,708 This is hardly the first difficulty. 937 00:55:37,750 --> 00:55:39,911 You've been destroying my fantasy for weeks. 938 00:55:39,952 --> 00:55:44,855 It's up to you to embrace this situation as a challenge, 939 00:55:44,889 --> 00:55:47,858 or simply chalk it up as another failure, 940 00:55:47,893 --> 00:55:49,827 a monument to your own passivity. 941 00:55:50,963 --> 00:55:54,364 It's time you made a stand somewhere for something. 942 00:55:54,400 --> 00:55:56,333 If not now, then when? 943 00:55:59,003 --> 00:56:01,528 There's no guarantee I'll even be attracted to this princess. 944 00:56:01,572 --> 00:56:03,905 Then we'll get her a g-string and some pasties, 945 00:56:03,976 --> 00:56:06,443 but you must not shrink from your duty. 946 00:56:07,346 --> 00:56:10,440 To refuse her now would be disastrous for England. 947 00:56:11,315 --> 00:56:13,215 Your family, your government, and the people of England... 948 00:56:13,251 --> 00:56:14,719 are counting on you. 949 00:56:15,653 --> 00:56:18,952 You owe it to them... and to yourself. 950 00:56:27,865 --> 00:56:29,766 OK, I'll give it a shot. 951 00:56:33,938 --> 00:56:37,465 Thank you, Your Majesty. You won't regret it. 952 00:56:39,844 --> 00:56:42,244 I remain your humble servant. 953 00:56:58,396 --> 00:56:59,920 [Sighs] 954 00:57:02,668 --> 00:57:04,101 [Ring ring] 955 00:57:06,371 --> 00:57:08,271 RALPH: Hello? MIRANDA: Hello, Ralph? 956 00:57:08,340 --> 00:57:09,364 Miranda? 957 00:57:11,009 --> 00:57:12,704 I have something to tell you. 958 00:57:12,777 --> 00:57:15,007 RALPH: Yeah. I was just going to call you. 959 00:57:16,481 --> 00:57:18,711 I don't think we should see each other anymore. 960 00:57:18,751 --> 00:57:21,583 RALPH: What? MIRANDA: I really wish I could. 961 00:57:22,153 --> 00:57:23,643 You just have to trust me. 962 00:57:24,655 --> 00:57:26,317 It's not a good idea. 963 00:57:26,358 --> 00:57:29,293 Yeah. They're putting pressure on me over here, too. 964 00:57:32,463 --> 00:57:36,992 -Could never have worked out. -Sure. I understand. 965 00:57:37,769 --> 00:57:40,829 I guess we should just be glad for the time we had. 966 00:57:41,739 --> 00:57:43,673 We did have a good time, didn't we? 967 00:57:44,510 --> 00:57:46,478 Please don't think badly of me. 968 00:57:47,545 --> 00:57:51,208 No. It just wasn't meant to be. 969 00:57:54,353 --> 00:57:55,512 Yeah. 970 00:58:00,826 --> 00:58:02,259 Good-bye, Miranda. 971 00:58:04,329 --> 00:58:05,659 Bye, Ralph. 972 00:58:22,014 --> 00:58:25,278 GRAVES: I have an errand for you. 973 00:58:25,317 --> 00:58:26,750 GORDON: My Lord. 974 00:58:26,784 --> 00:58:29,811 This is my invitation to the Finnish ball. 975 00:58:30,556 --> 00:58:34,492 Make sure that Miss Greene gets one just like it. 976 00:58:34,525 --> 00:58:37,858 -Of course. -And write this on the back. 977 00:58:39,998 --> 00:58:41,693 -But, uh-- -Just do it. 978 00:58:42,601 --> 00:58:44,034 [Train whistle toots] 979 00:58:44,068 --> 00:58:46,128 [Military band plays] 980 00:59:04,523 --> 00:59:07,219 DRUM MAJOR: Shoulder...arms. 981 00:59:08,960 --> 00:59:13,021 Royal salute! Present arms! 982 00:59:27,980 --> 00:59:30,847 Welcome, Your Majesty. On behalf of the United Kingdom, 983 00:59:30,882 --> 00:59:32,976 it's a pleasure to have you as our guest. 984 00:59:33,018 --> 00:59:36,385 Thank you, Your Majesty. We're honored by the invitation. 985 00:59:36,420 --> 00:59:39,686 -May I present Queen Katherine? -Queen Katherine. 986 00:59:39,724 --> 00:59:41,659 And Princess Anna. 987 00:59:41,693 --> 00:59:44,320 Princess Anna. It's a pleasure to meet you. 988 00:59:47,632 --> 00:59:50,795 Allow me to introduce Prime Minister Geoffrey Hale. 989 00:59:50,835 --> 00:59:52,166 HALE: Your Majesty. 990 00:59:53,739 --> 00:59:56,936 HALE: Your Majesty. Your Royal Highness. 991 00:59:57,943 --> 00:59:59,409 [Knock on door] 992 01:00:04,583 --> 01:00:06,483 With His Majesty's compliments. 993 01:00:08,253 --> 01:00:11,222 He also instructed me to give you this. 994 01:00:22,233 --> 01:00:25,601 GRAVES: They'll be the toast of the continent. 995 01:00:33,844 --> 01:00:35,903 GRAVES: Good evening, Your Majesty. 996 01:00:36,681 --> 01:00:37,943 Lord Percival Graves. 997 01:00:39,351 --> 01:00:42,217 I knowthat you will acquit yourself as famously... 998 01:00:42,253 --> 01:00:45,882 with the Finnish royals as you have with others. 999 01:00:45,923 --> 01:00:48,188 One word of advice, if I may. 1000 01:00:48,226 --> 01:00:52,788 If things become too staid, too formal for you, 1001 01:00:52,831 --> 01:00:58,235 don't hesitate to display that American flamboyance... 1002 01:00:58,269 --> 01:01:01,398 for which you are so justly celebrated. 1003 01:01:02,106 --> 01:01:05,099 With your lustrous charm, 1004 01:01:05,177 --> 01:01:09,773 I wouldn't be afraid to showthem who you really are. 1005 01:01:10,748 --> 01:01:13,239 Thanks. I'll try to keep that in mind. 1006 01:01:14,920 --> 01:01:15,909 Majesty. 1007 01:01:24,463 --> 01:01:28,762 MAN: His Britannic Majesty King Ralph I... 1008 01:01:28,800 --> 01:01:30,699 and their Royal Majesties... 1009 01:01:30,735 --> 01:01:34,603 King Gustav and Queen Katherine of Finland... 1010 01:01:34,639 --> 01:01:37,766 and her Royal Highness Princess Anna. 1011 01:01:58,730 --> 01:02:00,219 [Clang] 1012 01:02:26,123 --> 01:02:30,925 I am told you are a sportsman. My passion is polo. 1013 01:02:30,961 --> 01:02:32,657 No game like it for a gentleman. 1014 01:02:32,697 --> 01:02:35,427 If I ever get to be one, I'll take it up. 1015 01:02:36,802 --> 01:02:40,498 -Do you ever do any fencing? -Just a little when I was a kid. 1016 01:02:40,539 --> 01:02:42,130 Couple watches here and there. 1017 01:02:47,278 --> 01:02:49,304 The princess is quite lovely, isn't she? 1018 01:02:49,380 --> 01:02:53,750 Yeah, she doesn't say much, but she's what they call a fox. 1019 01:02:53,784 --> 01:02:58,278 I'm glad you find her so. Best wishes in your fox hunting. 1020 01:02:58,322 --> 01:03:00,552 Fox hunting? You like fox hunting? 1021 01:03:01,525 --> 01:03:03,460 I don't get around much lately. 1022 01:03:03,494 --> 01:03:06,862 I used to go out every weekend, one club or another. 1023 01:03:06,898 --> 01:03:08,489 Really? That often? 1024 01:03:08,532 --> 01:03:11,023 You must have collected several tails. 1025 01:03:11,635 --> 01:03:15,436 I admit I slept with a few, but I'm not like that anymore. 1026 01:03:15,474 --> 01:03:17,567 You can't be too careful. 1027 01:03:17,641 --> 01:03:19,302 Never know who they've been with. 1028 01:03:19,911 --> 01:03:22,402 No. I suppose not. 1029 01:03:22,481 --> 01:03:25,313 Once I had a steady girl, that ended it. 1030 01:03:25,349 --> 01:03:29,547 -She didn't like fox hunting? -Well, of course not. 1031 01:03:30,856 --> 01:03:34,985 -Anna isn't into it, is she? -Oh, yes. She loves it. 1032 01:03:35,025 --> 01:03:36,425 Most royals do. 1033 01:03:39,030 --> 01:03:43,090 Gustav, let the king eat. His guests are waiting. 1034 01:03:44,001 --> 01:03:44,990 Right. 1035 01:03:55,380 --> 01:03:57,813 Sorry. They don't feed the chickens enough over here. 1036 01:04:02,119 --> 01:04:03,280 RALPH: Ooh! 1037 01:04:03,320 --> 01:04:05,152 [Guests gasping] 1038 01:04:31,282 --> 01:04:32,271 Excuse me. 1039 01:04:33,717 --> 01:04:38,518 Bad luck. It could have happened to almost anyone. 1040 01:04:38,556 --> 01:04:41,525 I'd be better off if they'd let me do things my way. 1041 01:04:44,028 --> 01:04:45,393 All is not lost. 1042 01:04:45,429 --> 01:04:48,159 If things go well between you and the princess, 1043 01:04:48,199 --> 01:04:49,963 everything will be forgotten. 1044 01:05:08,420 --> 01:05:09,648 RALPH: Shall we dance? 1045 01:05:24,902 --> 01:05:29,465 -You dance great. -Oh, thank you. So do you. 1046 01:05:39,117 --> 01:05:41,677 I'm sort of curious about what kind of things you like. 1047 01:05:41,719 --> 01:05:46,123 Oh, I don't know. Certainly the fine arts, the opera, 1048 01:05:46,157 --> 01:05:49,489 the ballet, the symphony, and I love to travel. 1049 01:05:49,527 --> 01:05:52,155 Oh, yeah? Me, too. You ever been to Hoover Dam? 1050 01:05:52,197 --> 01:05:56,155 No. I missed that one. We prefer Deauville. 1051 01:05:56,201 --> 01:05:58,896 -Deauville? -France. 1052 01:05:58,936 --> 01:06:01,461 Daddy played in the Gold Cup there. 1053 01:06:01,505 --> 01:06:02,972 Then, of course, we went to Ascot. 1054 01:06:03,007 --> 01:06:06,101 -Oh, what country is that in? -England. 1055 01:06:18,056 --> 01:06:20,922 What do you say that we take a little breather? 1056 01:06:23,561 --> 01:06:26,222 -lt seems to be going well. -Yes. 1057 01:06:27,231 --> 01:06:29,291 We set a torrid pace in there. 1058 01:06:29,333 --> 01:06:31,528 Hope the rest of our life isn't this wild. 1059 01:06:31,568 --> 01:06:34,231 Nowthat we've gotten to know each other, 1060 01:06:34,271 --> 01:06:39,733 our representatives can work out a schedule for our courtship. 1061 01:06:39,777 --> 01:06:43,338 I have travel commitments that have to be worked around. 1062 01:06:43,414 --> 01:06:45,349 I've been meaning to talk to you about this. 1063 01:06:45,382 --> 01:06:48,978 Don't you think we should have feelings for each other first? 1064 01:06:50,088 --> 01:06:54,081 It would be a charming bonus, but it's hardly necessary. 1065 01:06:54,125 --> 01:06:58,117 We are royals. We marry for the...position. 1066 01:07:00,664 --> 01:07:03,793 If I wanted to marry for love, 1067 01:07:03,835 --> 01:07:08,032 I would have married Gunnar Jann back in Penike. 1068 01:07:08,072 --> 01:07:11,735 -Do you really want to marry me? -Well, I must admit, 1069 01:07:11,809 --> 01:07:14,972 you'll require a bit more work than I'd hoped. 1070 01:07:15,045 --> 01:07:17,570 You're unsophisticated, ignorant, 1071 01:07:17,648 --> 01:07:20,777 and lacking in social grace. 1072 01:07:20,818 --> 01:07:27,519 I am consoled with the fact that you have nice buttocks. 1073 01:07:27,559 --> 01:07:28,617 Beg your pardon? 1074 01:07:29,693 --> 01:07:31,753 As you were dancing, 1075 01:07:31,795 --> 01:07:35,527 I drowned the memory of your behavior at dinner... 1076 01:07:35,567 --> 01:07:39,594 with a vision of you bending me over the Queen Anne desk... 1077 01:07:39,637 --> 01:07:42,298 in the white drawing room. 1078 01:07:42,340 --> 01:07:45,331 Wouldn't that be uncomfortable with all those pens sticking up? 1079 01:07:45,409 --> 01:07:48,208 Yes. Or best of all, 1080 01:07:48,246 --> 01:07:52,579 you could strap me to the throne with strings of pearls. 1081 01:07:52,617 --> 01:07:54,744 I don't know. The servants might see us. 1082 01:07:54,786 --> 01:07:56,686 I would hope so. 1083 01:07:56,954 --> 01:07:59,947 KING GUSTAV: Ah! There you two are. 1084 01:07:59,990 --> 01:08:02,960 Come, Anna. You haven't danced with your father. 1085 01:08:02,994 --> 01:08:05,018 Coming, father. 1086 01:08:15,273 --> 01:08:16,762 How's it going, Your Majesty? 1087 01:08:16,841 --> 01:08:20,072 Great. We have nothing in common. 1088 01:08:20,145 --> 01:08:23,046 She'd like to have sex on a bed of nails. 1089 01:08:23,081 --> 01:08:26,983 At least the party stinks. I've got to liven things up. 1090 01:08:27,786 --> 01:08:30,152 Time for some of that American flamboyance. 1091 01:08:34,158 --> 01:08:35,292 MAN: Your Majesty. 1092 01:08:35,292 --> 01:08:37,453 I've got a number I'd like to do. 1093 01:08:37,494 --> 01:08:41,192 -You guys got a piano? -No, but we have a harpsichord. 1094 01:08:41,231 --> 01:08:43,462 Good enough. Let's go over the changes. 1095 01:09:12,663 --> 01:09:15,189 -You guys ready? -We'll try, Your Majesty. 1096 01:09:15,233 --> 01:09:18,430 Great. Ladies and gentlemen, 1097 01:09:18,470 --> 01:09:20,664 I'd like to welcome y'all to the ball again. 1098 01:09:20,704 --> 01:09:22,865 Is everybody having a good time? 1099 01:09:26,010 --> 01:09:29,036 As you may have read, I love music. 1100 01:09:29,113 --> 01:09:31,774 Since this is the biggest audience I've ever had, 1101 01:09:31,815 --> 01:09:33,408 I'd like to play something for you, 1102 01:09:33,451 --> 01:09:36,443 maybe pick up the tempo a little. 1103 01:09:36,488 --> 01:09:39,389 This is a sweet Little Richard Penniman tune. 1104 01:09:39,423 --> 01:09:41,015 [Feedback] 1105 01:09:49,833 --> 01:09:51,426 [Plays harpsichord] 1106 01:09:51,469 --> 01:09:54,131 Ah. Little rusty. 1107 01:09:55,840 --> 01:09:57,363 RALPH: Help me out here. 1108 01:09:58,342 --> 01:09:59,310 Thanks. 1109 01:10:00,845 --> 01:10:02,744 Coat was cramping my style. 1110 01:10:16,994 --> 01:10:18,655 [Singing] Good golly Miss Molly 1111 01:10:19,663 --> 01:10:22,029 You sure like to ball 1112 01:10:22,065 --> 01:10:25,091 Yeah, good golly Miss Molly 1113 01:10:25,136 --> 01:10:27,127 You sure like to ball 1114 01:10:27,838 --> 01:10:30,238 When you're rockin' an' rollin' 1115 01:10:30,307 --> 01:10:33,072 You can't hear mama call 1116 01:10:33,144 --> 01:10:35,668 Well, from the early, early mornin' 1117 01:10:35,747 --> 01:10:37,078 To the early, early night 1118 01:10:37,114 --> 01:10:38,412 You can hear Miss Molly comin' 1119 01:10:38,448 --> 01:10:39,676 And she's runnin' for her life 1120 01:10:39,716 --> 01:10:42,015 Good golly Miss Molly 1121 01:10:42,052 --> 01:10:45,318 Yeah, you sure like to ball 1122 01:10:45,355 --> 01:10:47,516 When you're rockin' an' rollin' 1123 01:10:47,559 --> 01:10:50,460 You can't hear mama call 1124 01:11:05,944 --> 01:11:10,039 Well, good golly Miss Molly 1125 01:11:10,113 --> 01:11:12,445 You sure like to ball 1126 01:11:12,483 --> 01:11:15,077 Yeah, good golly Miss Molly 1127 01:11:15,118 --> 01:11:18,452 Honey, you sure like to throw a ball 1128 01:11:18,488 --> 01:11:20,719 When you're rockin' an' you're rollin' 1129 01:11:20,757 --> 01:11:23,693 You can't hear your mama call 1130 01:11:40,345 --> 01:11:44,805 Your majesty, one of the guests asked me to give you this. 1131 01:11:55,760 --> 01:11:57,158 [Singing] Yeah 1132 01:11:57,194 --> 01:11:58,719 Good golly Miss Molly 1133 01:11:59,831 --> 01:12:02,560 Good golly Miss Molly 1134 01:12:02,600 --> 01:12:04,761 Good golly Miss Molly 1135 01:12:04,801 --> 01:12:06,770 Wow, good golly Miss Molly 1136 01:12:06,804 --> 01:12:08,100 Yeah, yeah 1137 01:12:08,139 --> 01:12:10,130 Good golly Miss Molly 1138 01:12:10,173 --> 01:12:13,769 Woooooow 1139 01:12:13,845 --> 01:12:15,311 Good night 1140 01:12:28,493 --> 01:12:30,154 You've been a wonderful audience. 1141 01:12:31,029 --> 01:12:32,087 Thanks a lot, guys. 1142 01:12:34,865 --> 01:12:37,595 -What are you doing here? -What do you mean? 1143 01:12:37,635 --> 01:12:38,931 Who is this girl? 1144 01:12:38,970 --> 01:12:41,837 MIRANDA: Miranda. Who are you? 1145 01:12:41,872 --> 01:12:45,036 I'm Princess Anna, the king's future bride. 1146 01:12:45,109 --> 01:12:46,576 Future bride? 1147 01:12:49,146 --> 01:12:52,172 I see. Excuse me, I think I should be going. 1148 01:12:52,250 --> 01:12:54,444 Wait, Miranda. I can explain this. 1149 01:12:54,484 --> 01:12:55,679 GUSTAV: Anna, we are going. 1150 01:12:55,720 --> 01:12:57,654 ANNA: Who was that girl? 1151 01:12:57,689 --> 01:12:59,417 GUSTAV: He is not worth it. 1152 01:12:59,457 --> 01:13:00,923 [Crowd murmuring] 1153 01:13:03,694 --> 01:13:06,255 King Gustav, I'm sure His Majesty regrets-- 1154 01:13:20,144 --> 01:13:23,011 In the wake of last night's disastrous royal ball, 1155 01:13:23,046 --> 01:13:24,570 the Finnish government has awarded... 1156 01:13:24,649 --> 01:13:26,844 its highly prized offshore equipment contract... 1157 01:13:26,884 --> 01:13:28,373 to a Japanese firm. 1158 01:13:28,418 --> 01:13:30,886 King Ralph not only shocked his guests... 1159 01:13:30,921 --> 01:13:32,890 with his rock 'n' roll gyrations, 1160 01:13:32,923 --> 01:13:36,291 but further insulted King Gustav and Princess Anna of Finland... 1161 01:13:36,327 --> 01:13:38,726 by parading with his so-called mystery woman, 1162 01:13:38,762 --> 01:13:41,060 a former stripper named Miranda Greene. 1163 01:13:41,765 --> 01:13:44,826 Political leaders have banded together to condemn... 1164 01:13:44,868 --> 01:13:49,533 GRAVES: Never in recent times has a monarch so shamed... 1165 01:13:49,606 --> 01:13:51,541 and embarrassed his country. 1166 01:13:51,576 --> 01:13:52,940 [Murmurs of approval] 1167 01:13:52,976 --> 01:13:57,277 Must we stand idly by and suffer the degradation... 1168 01:13:57,314 --> 01:13:59,340 of our most sacred traditions... 1169 01:13:59,417 --> 01:14:02,853 by this witless ivory tinkler from across the sea? 1170 01:14:02,886 --> 01:14:04,787 I say no! 1171 01:14:04,822 --> 01:14:06,311 [Exclamations of approval] 1172 01:14:07,759 --> 01:14:11,456 I say it is time to reclaim our heritage. 1173 01:14:11,496 --> 01:14:13,395 [Murmurs of agreement] 1174 01:14:13,430 --> 01:14:18,095 I say it is time to reclaim our national pride. 1175 01:14:18,136 --> 01:14:19,363 CROWD: Hear, hear! 1176 01:14:19,403 --> 01:14:24,430 I say it is time to reclaim our throne! 1177 01:14:24,509 --> 01:14:25,975 [Cheering and applause] 1178 01:14:34,351 --> 01:14:36,444 Sorry, Grandpa. 1179 01:14:36,487 --> 01:14:39,216 I could've made a mark for our side of the family, 1180 01:14:39,256 --> 01:14:40,451 and I screwed it up. 1181 01:14:41,893 --> 01:14:43,952 Maybe I should have myself beheaded. 1182 01:15:16,527 --> 01:15:19,154 Tommie, this is Ralph. I need a favor. 1183 01:15:39,516 --> 01:15:42,007 -Mrs. Greene? -Yes? 1184 01:15:42,052 --> 01:15:43,680 Hi. Is Miranda here? 1185 01:15:44,588 --> 01:15:48,957 As I live and breathe! You're him, aren't you? 1186 01:15:48,993 --> 01:15:50,426 Just barely. 1187 01:15:52,662 --> 01:15:54,994 RALPH: I shouldn't have come, but I wanted to. 1188 01:15:55,032 --> 01:15:57,158 Parliament wants me to resign. 1189 01:15:57,201 --> 01:15:58,429 Hale agrees. 1190 01:15:58,469 --> 01:16:00,198 MIRANDA: Will you do it? 1191 01:16:00,238 --> 01:16:03,104 RALPH: I've never done anything important. 1192 01:16:03,140 --> 01:16:05,539 I usually bail out long before that. 1193 01:16:05,609 --> 01:16:08,043 I am the king, even if I shouldn't be. 1194 01:16:08,078 --> 01:16:11,980 I don't want to be the one who embarrassed the whole country... 1195 01:16:12,015 --> 01:16:14,449 and had to crawl out the back door. 1196 01:16:14,484 --> 01:16:16,112 King Ralph the Chickenhearted. 1197 01:16:17,755 --> 01:16:19,484 What do you think? 1198 01:16:19,523 --> 01:16:21,684 I'm in no position to give advice. 1199 01:16:22,859 --> 01:16:25,488 I'm sorry about all the stuff in the papers, 1200 01:16:25,529 --> 01:16:27,052 all the things they've been saying-- 1201 01:16:27,097 --> 01:16:30,363 Ralph, there's something I have to tell you. 1202 01:16:33,337 --> 01:16:39,367 After we first met at the club, Lord Graves came to see me. 1203 01:16:39,443 --> 01:16:40,636 Graves? 1204 01:16:43,180 --> 01:16:46,637 He offered me money to help my family... 1205 01:16:48,219 --> 01:16:54,055 if I would see you and compromise you in some way. 1206 01:16:54,658 --> 01:16:57,320 You went for it? You let him bribe you? 1207 01:16:58,662 --> 01:17:01,597 -To begin with. -I don't believe this. 1208 01:17:04,167 --> 01:17:06,966 Ever since I've been here, I had people saying, 1209 01:17:07,003 --> 01:17:08,938 "Stay away from her. She's no good. 1210 01:17:08,972 --> 01:17:10,963 "She's the wrong class." I ignored them. 1211 01:17:11,042 --> 01:17:13,601 I kept telling myself everything's gonna work out... 1212 01:17:13,677 --> 01:17:17,511 once they know you, once they find out how great you are. 1213 01:17:17,547 --> 01:17:19,640 And all along, you were setting me up! 1214 01:17:20,685 --> 01:17:22,550 What did they give you for the night in the park? 1215 01:17:24,322 --> 01:17:27,654 After that night, I gave Graves his money back. 1216 01:17:27,692 --> 01:17:30,786 I told him I was out. I didn't know about the photos. 1217 01:17:30,828 --> 01:17:31,953 Yeah, right. 1218 01:17:31,996 --> 01:17:36,329 That's why I said I couldn't see you anymore. 1219 01:17:36,367 --> 01:17:39,962 -lt would've been too dangerous. -I wish I could believe that. 1220 01:17:40,003 --> 01:17:44,634 I don't expect you to...or to believe that I've missed you. 1221 01:17:44,708 --> 01:17:46,676 I wish we could still see each other. 1222 01:17:47,712 --> 01:17:51,148 I was stupid. I was offered an easy way out of my problems, 1223 01:17:51,215 --> 01:17:55,117 and I took it without thinking about the consequences. 1224 01:17:55,152 --> 01:17:59,110 I don't know what to think. I've been over my head here. 1225 01:17:59,155 --> 01:18:01,420 The only thing I was sure of was you. 1226 01:18:03,327 --> 01:18:05,158 You were England to me, Miranda. 1227 01:18:23,014 --> 01:18:24,105 [Knocking] 1228 01:18:24,180 --> 01:18:25,148 Come in. 1229 01:18:31,354 --> 01:18:33,686 You wanted to see me, Your Majesty? 1230 01:18:33,724 --> 01:18:35,350 Yes, Gordon, I'd like something. 1231 01:18:36,027 --> 01:18:38,119 Anything, Your Majesty. 1232 01:18:40,230 --> 01:18:41,458 No. 1233 01:18:43,734 --> 01:18:45,634 RALPH: Just an explanation. 1234 01:18:51,841 --> 01:18:55,175 I'll see what I can find out, Your Majesty. 1235 01:18:59,449 --> 01:19:03,886 Maybe you can find out why it's written in your handwriting. 1236 01:19:05,855 --> 01:19:12,954 I...don't know anything... about...anything. 1237 01:19:13,831 --> 01:19:16,925 Don't worry. It'll all come back to you. 1238 01:19:19,069 --> 01:19:21,095 -Hi. -Good day, Your Majesty. 1239 01:19:23,407 --> 01:19:25,136 -Your Majesty. -Got a second? 1240 01:19:25,208 --> 01:19:27,676 DUNCAN: Yes. It's been a disturbing day, hasn't it? 1241 01:19:27,744 --> 01:19:30,475 RALPH: Yes, but that's not why I wanted to see you. 1242 01:19:30,514 --> 01:19:33,243 I was thinking of something you said to me once. 1243 01:19:33,283 --> 01:19:35,717 Most things go in one ear and out the other, 1244 01:19:35,752 --> 01:19:37,618 but this stuck with me somehow. 1245 01:19:37,654 --> 01:19:40,385 You said you were nervous when you first decided on me, 1246 01:19:40,423 --> 01:19:42,153 or something like that. 1247 01:19:42,193 --> 01:19:44,684 -Did I say that, Your Majesty? -Yes, you did. 1248 01:19:44,728 --> 01:19:46,752 It's the word "decide" that got me thinking. 1249 01:19:46,796 --> 01:19:49,458 -Did it, Your Majesty? -Yes, it did. 1250 01:19:49,500 --> 01:19:52,332 -I'm the king, right? -Yes, indeed. 1251 01:19:52,368 --> 01:19:54,701 And as my assistant private secretary, 1252 01:19:54,738 --> 01:19:57,332 you are sworn to give me whatever information... 1253 01:19:57,408 --> 01:20:00,002 I might need, aren't you? 1254 01:20:01,177 --> 01:20:05,011 -Yes, Your Majesty. -All right, then, Phipps. 1255 01:20:08,786 --> 01:20:09,945 'Fess up. 1256 01:20:15,493 --> 01:20:17,756 You wanted to see me, Your Majesty? 1257 01:20:17,795 --> 01:20:19,261 Yes, Ced. Come on in. 1258 01:20:22,432 --> 01:20:23,899 RALPH: Have a seat. 1259 01:20:29,006 --> 01:20:31,975 I've been talking to Dunc about something he said to me, 1260 01:20:32,009 --> 01:20:34,476 and it came out that maybe there was another guy... 1261 01:20:34,511 --> 01:20:36,274 in line for the throne besides me. 1262 01:20:36,313 --> 01:20:37,574 Is that true, Ced? 1263 01:20:38,882 --> 01:20:40,908 I'm afraid it is, Your Majesty. 1264 01:20:43,186 --> 01:20:44,984 Was his claim as strong as mine? 1265 01:20:45,890 --> 01:20:47,083 Almost, yes. 1266 01:20:48,259 --> 01:20:50,318 His great-grandfather had an unfortunate evening... 1267 01:20:50,360 --> 01:20:51,760 with a parlor maid. 1268 01:20:52,496 --> 01:20:54,760 -So he was English? -Yes. 1269 01:20:55,565 --> 01:20:57,591 Then why wasn't he chosen over me? 1270 01:20:57,635 --> 01:20:59,534 He begged to be let off. 1271 01:21:01,204 --> 01:21:03,332 He insisted that he was undeserving... 1272 01:21:03,407 --> 01:21:05,375 of such an exalted position. 1273 01:21:06,944 --> 01:21:12,644 In other words, you just couldn't face it. 1274 01:21:15,185 --> 01:21:17,449 Yes, Your Majesty, I couldn't. 1275 01:21:19,523 --> 01:21:20,989 CEDRIC: I didn't feel worthy, 1276 01:21:21,024 --> 01:21:23,550 and I have no children to continue the line. 1277 01:21:24,761 --> 01:21:26,889 So I swore Phipps to silence... 1278 01:21:26,930 --> 01:21:29,990 and decided to stay on as your private secretary. 1279 01:21:30,033 --> 01:21:33,800 Why? So you'd pick up a few pointers just in case? 1280 01:21:33,837 --> 01:21:36,828 I was determined to help you do the job so well... 1281 01:21:36,907 --> 01:21:39,375 that " just in case" would never arise. 1282 01:21:41,478 --> 01:21:44,447 It's easier to whisper advice from cover... 1283 01:21:44,480 --> 01:21:47,746 than to risk its merit at the point of attack. 1284 01:21:49,619 --> 01:21:51,587 I am sorry, Your Majesty, 1285 01:21:51,622 --> 01:21:54,681 both for my deception and my cowardice. 1286 01:22:06,770 --> 01:22:08,896 I ought to be pissed, but what the hell. 1287 01:22:08,939 --> 01:22:11,463 I had nothing else going. I didn't get shot. 1288 01:22:13,577 --> 01:22:15,135 Plus, you are a relative. 1289 01:22:18,215 --> 01:22:20,774 Thank you, Your Majesty, for your tolerance. 1290 01:22:25,256 --> 01:22:28,122 Phipps, call the Prime Minister. I want to address Parliament. 1291 01:22:28,158 --> 01:22:31,457 -Parliament? -Parliament. 1292 01:23:05,628 --> 01:23:08,962 GRAVES: My lords, members of the House of Commons, 1293 01:23:08,998 --> 01:23:12,229 His Majesty, Ralph l, 1294 01:23:12,269 --> 01:23:15,431 by the grace of God, king of the United Kingdom... 1295 01:23:15,471 --> 01:23:17,804 of Great Britain and Northern Ireland... 1296 01:23:17,875 --> 01:23:21,037 head of the Commonwealth, defender of the faith. 1297 01:23:33,890 --> 01:23:35,518 Please be seated. 1298 01:23:42,498 --> 01:23:45,059 My lords and members of the House of Commons, 1299 01:23:45,101 --> 01:23:48,367 I know it's unusual for a king to address Parliament, 1300 01:23:48,404 --> 01:23:52,534 but I have some things to say, and I must say them firsthand. 1301 01:23:52,609 --> 01:23:57,671 As you all know, I've made some terrible mistakes lately-- 1302 01:23:57,747 --> 01:23:59,443 mistakes which have shamed England... 1303 01:23:59,483 --> 01:24:02,815 and cost its workers some badly needed jobs. 1304 01:24:02,853 --> 01:24:06,253 I have no excuse for my actions. 1305 01:24:06,289 --> 01:24:09,453 I know I can't undo what's been done. 1306 01:24:09,493 --> 01:24:12,121 I can only try to make up for it somehow. 1307 01:24:12,162 --> 01:24:15,529 With that in mind, I placed a call last night... 1308 01:24:15,565 --> 01:24:17,328 to King Mulambon of Zambezi. 1309 01:24:17,368 --> 01:24:18,698 [Murmuring] 1310 01:24:21,137 --> 01:24:24,801 I am happy to be able to announce that Zambezi... 1311 01:24:24,875 --> 01:24:27,002 will begin full production of Africa's first car... 1312 01:24:27,077 --> 01:24:28,543 by the end of the year, 1313 01:24:28,612 --> 01:24:31,171 and in a deal worked out with Prime Minister Hale, 1314 01:24:31,247 --> 01:24:34,512 all of the engines will be built right here in England. 1315 01:24:34,551 --> 01:24:36,041 [Cheering] 1316 01:24:37,387 --> 01:24:39,117 Good thing we had him around. 1317 01:24:42,225 --> 01:24:43,625 The plan calls for the opening... 1318 01:24:43,659 --> 01:24:46,560 of three new plants in the northeast. 1319 01:24:46,596 --> 01:24:50,761 In addition, Zambezi wants to buy &200 million worth... 1320 01:24:50,801 --> 01:24:52,597 of English heavy equipment... 1321 01:24:52,636 --> 01:24:55,570 to help in the mining of their vast national resources. 1322 01:24:55,605 --> 01:24:57,095 [Cheering] 1323 01:25:02,613 --> 01:25:03,944 Yeah! 1324 01:25:07,251 --> 01:25:09,344 As happy as I am about all this, 1325 01:25:09,386 --> 01:25:12,082 it doesn't make up for my shortcomings as a king. 1326 01:25:12,122 --> 01:25:15,421 I have done my best to learn the ways of royalty, 1327 01:25:15,458 --> 01:25:18,552 to try to be the kind of king you could be proud of. 1328 01:25:19,529 --> 01:25:22,328 But I'm afraid my best will never be good enough. 1329 01:25:23,434 --> 01:25:27,529 Too often, my personal instincts conflict with my obligations. 1330 01:25:27,570 --> 01:25:32,634 For that reason, I have decided to give up my throne. 1331 01:25:32,708 --> 01:25:34,176 [Murmuring] 1332 01:25:39,716 --> 01:25:43,243 But before I go, there are some things I want to set straight. 1333 01:25:44,555 --> 01:25:46,216 Ever since I became king, 1334 01:25:46,256 --> 01:25:48,815 a member of this house has worked to discredit me, 1335 01:25:48,859 --> 01:25:51,418 hoping that his family would return to the throne. 1336 01:25:51,462 --> 01:25:55,296 The so-called scandalous photographs you heard about... 1337 01:25:55,332 --> 01:25:57,493 were taken and delivered to the king of Finland... 1338 01:25:57,533 --> 01:26:00,627 by a man working for Lord Percival Graves. 1339 01:26:02,104 --> 01:26:05,506 This is an outrage, a vile piece of slander! 1340 01:26:05,576 --> 01:26:07,942 I demand to knowthe source of these accusations! 1341 01:26:07,978 --> 01:26:10,878 We have the confession of a royal page, Gordon Halliwell, 1342 01:26:10,913 --> 01:26:12,381 who worked with Lord Graves. 1343 01:26:12,416 --> 01:26:14,645 I know no such man. 1344 01:26:14,685 --> 01:26:17,518 And several checks made out to the photographer, 1345 01:26:17,554 --> 01:26:18,987 signed by Lord Graves, 1346 01:26:19,021 --> 01:26:21,149 whose fingerprints were also on the photographs. 1347 01:26:21,190 --> 01:26:23,250 So? I sawthem at the ball. 1348 01:26:23,292 --> 01:26:25,988 RALPH: Scotland Yard found the negatives in his house. 1349 01:26:26,029 --> 01:26:27,496 [Murmuring] 1350 01:26:30,900 --> 01:26:33,563 By what right can you order my arrest? 1351 01:26:33,604 --> 01:26:36,265 By the Treason Act of 1702... 1352 01:26:36,305 --> 01:26:39,002 forbidding interference with the proper succession of a monarch, 1353 01:26:39,076 --> 01:26:40,475 enacted by-- 1354 01:26:43,579 --> 01:26:45,104 [Whispering] Charlie, Charlie, James again. 1355 01:26:45,181 --> 01:26:46,671 William III. 1356 01:26:50,354 --> 01:26:52,447 CROWD: Shame! Shame! 1357 01:26:57,027 --> 01:26:58,858 Shame! 1358 01:26:58,895 --> 01:27:01,831 That's right! String him up, wanker! 1359 01:27:04,201 --> 01:27:06,567 I didn't bring this out to defend my behavior, 1360 01:27:06,603 --> 01:27:09,162 but when I embarrassed England, it was unintentional. 1361 01:27:09,206 --> 01:27:10,672 Graves did it deliberately. 1362 01:27:14,110 --> 01:27:17,204 This is where my notes run out. I'll wing it from here. 1363 01:27:17,280 --> 01:27:19,771 [Chuckling] 1364 01:27:20,884 --> 01:27:24,717 When I first came here, I hardly knew where England was, 1365 01:27:24,755 --> 01:27:28,417 but over the last couple of months, something has changed. 1366 01:27:28,457 --> 01:27:31,586 I'll always consider myself an American, 1367 01:27:31,627 --> 01:27:34,188 but I've come to feel like I'm English, too. 1368 01:27:34,230 --> 01:27:37,291 I now realize how important a king can be to his people... 1369 01:27:37,333 --> 01:27:38,561 if he's the right man. 1370 01:27:39,636 --> 01:27:43,002 I'm too set in my ways to ever be that man. 1371 01:27:43,640 --> 01:27:48,737 As an Englishman, I want all of us to have a king we deserve. 1372 01:27:49,579 --> 01:27:53,778 For that reason, tomorrow I'm turning over the throne... 1373 01:27:53,817 --> 01:27:55,944 to Cedric Charles Willingham. 1374 01:27:55,985 --> 01:27:57,453 [Murmuring] 1375 01:28:00,489 --> 01:28:03,185 You'll be glad to know he's also a Wyndham... 1376 01:28:03,225 --> 01:28:06,957 and a better, more qualified man than any nation could hope for. 1377 01:28:08,599 --> 01:28:11,033 And so to him I pledge my allegiance. 1378 01:28:12,536 --> 01:28:14,628 Long live Cedric l, 1379 01:28:14,671 --> 01:28:17,195 by the grace of God, king of the United Kingdom... 1380 01:28:17,239 --> 01:28:19,730 of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, 1381 01:28:19,775 --> 01:28:23,712 head of the Commonwealth, defender of the faith. 1382 01:28:27,417 --> 01:28:28,907 God save the king. 1383 01:28:30,654 --> 01:28:33,054 ALL: God save the king! 1384 01:28:48,904 --> 01:28:52,068 I can't help it. I'm going to miss him. 1385 01:28:57,314 --> 01:28:59,509 CEDRIC: And one last thing. 1386 01:28:59,548 --> 01:29:01,038 There's been some discussion, 1387 01:29:01,118 --> 01:29:02,710 and the Chancellor of the Exchequer... 1388 01:29:02,752 --> 01:29:05,881 has suggested for your approval a healthy annual income... 1389 01:29:05,921 --> 01:29:08,720 and a house in the country befitting your status. 1390 01:29:08,759 --> 01:29:11,728 RALPH: I don't know. I think I should stay out of royalty. 1391 01:29:11,761 --> 01:29:14,595 CEDRIC: You wouldn't have any official obligations, 1392 01:29:14,631 --> 01:29:16,189 and I'm having this house equipped... 1393 01:29:16,233 --> 01:29:18,167 with its own recording studio. 1394 01:29:19,368 --> 01:29:22,462 Maybe I should give this a little more thought. 1395 01:29:22,506 --> 01:29:27,068 I think so. After me, you're still the only Wyndham left, 1396 01:29:27,144 --> 01:29:30,511 and there's still the matter of your investiture. 1397 01:29:30,546 --> 01:29:32,605 Well, I guess that about does it. 1398 01:29:32,682 --> 01:29:34,810 I know you'll do a hell of a job. 1399 01:29:34,850 --> 01:29:37,251 You got the breeding, you got the know-how. 1400 01:29:37,287 --> 01:29:38,878 You've practically been king already. 1401 01:29:38,921 --> 01:29:41,390 You'll probably have to work on your dancing, though. 1402 01:29:41,425 --> 01:29:44,189 And feel free, you know, to change the decor. 1403 01:29:44,226 --> 01:29:46,387 Just a dab here and there. 1404 01:29:47,730 --> 01:29:50,859 Anyway, I want to thank you for everything you did for me. 1405 01:29:50,900 --> 01:29:52,731 I couldn't have made it without you. 1406 01:29:54,136 --> 01:29:56,037 And you, too, Dunc and Tommie. 1407 01:29:56,773 --> 01:29:59,264 It's I who should be thanking you. 1408 01:29:59,309 --> 01:30:01,606 You showed me howto be a king. 1409 01:30:01,645 --> 01:30:05,774 Me? I was a lousy king. 1410 01:30:05,815 --> 01:30:07,340 On the contrary. 1411 01:30:09,351 --> 01:30:14,914 You are a good and decent man, and you've acted honorably. 1412 01:30:15,992 --> 01:30:18,391 I shall try to follow your example. 1413 01:30:20,029 --> 01:30:21,292 Thank you, Ced. 1414 01:30:22,932 --> 01:30:24,490 RALPH: Don't forget the crown. 1415 01:30:24,533 --> 01:30:27,662 You'll want to practice wearing it to get used to the weight. 1416 01:30:30,606 --> 01:30:34,475 -So long, Tommie. -Good luck, Your Majesty. 1417 01:30:37,213 --> 01:30:41,344 -So long, Dunc. -Good-bye, Your Majesty. 1418 01:30:50,127 --> 01:30:51,855 So long, Your Majesty. 1419 01:31:27,898 --> 01:31:29,729 [Women talking softly] 1420 01:31:37,541 --> 01:31:38,701 Excuse me. 1421 01:31:50,787 --> 01:31:52,720 What do you say we start over again? 1422 01:32:06,002 --> 01:32:08,265 MAN: Sir Ralph Jones. 1423 01:32:18,047 --> 01:32:22,246 I proclaim you Ralph Hampton Gainsworth Jones, 1424 01:32:22,284 --> 01:32:24,617 third duke of Warren. 1425 01:32:29,426 --> 01:32:32,360 [Singing] Duke, duke, duke, duke of Earl 1426 01:32:32,395 --> 01:32:34,625 Duke, duke, duke of Earl 1427 01:32:34,663 --> 01:32:37,189 Duke, duke, duke of Earl 1428 01:32:37,234 --> 01:32:39,167 Duke, duke, duke of Earl 1429 01:32:39,202 --> 01:32:41,396 Duke, duke, duke of Earl 1430 01:32:41,438 --> 01:32:43,667 Duke, duke, duke of Earl 1431 01:32:43,739 --> 01:32:46,765 Duke, duke, duke of Earl, duke, duke 1432 01:32:46,842 --> 01:32:52,577 As I walk through this world 1433 01:32:52,615 --> 01:32:57,109 Nothing can stop the duke of Earl 1434 01:32:57,153 --> 01:33:00,782 And you, you are my girl 1435 01:33:00,823 --> 01:33:03,292 And no one can hurt you 1436 01:33:03,326 --> 01:33:05,293 No, no 1437 01:33:05,328 --> 01:33:12,029 Yes, I know I'm gonna love you 1438 01:33:16,805 --> 01:33:21,470 'Cause I'm the duke of Earl 1439 01:33:16,805 --> 01:33:21,470 'Cause I'm the duke of Earl 1440 01:33:16,805 --> 01:33:21,470 'Cause I'm the duke of Earl 1441 01:33:16,805 --> 01:33:21,470 'Cause I'm the duke of Earl 1442 01:33:16,805 --> 01:33:21,470 'Cause I'm the duke of Earl 1443 01:33:16,805 --> 01:33:21,470 'Cause I'm the duke of Earl 1444 01:33:16,805 --> 01:33:21,470 'Cause I'm the duke of Earl 1445 01:33:16,805 --> 01:33:21,470 'Cause I'm the duke of Earl 1446 01:33:16,805 --> 01:33:21,470 'Cause I'm the duke of Earl 1447 01:33:16,805 --> 01:33:21,470 'Cause I'm the duke of Earl 107612