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1
00:00:19,202 --> 00:00:20,595
OK!
2
00:00:21,229 --> 00:00:24,378
- Look, stop struggling.
- We've got you, come on.
3
00:00:24,416 --> 00:00:28,379
- What were you thinking?
- I do not know! OK? I panicked.
4
00:00:28,504 --> 00:00:31,302
People do weird things when
they've got a gun in their face.
5
00:00:31,327 --> 00:00:32,766
Ssh! Keep your voice down.
6
00:00:32,817 --> 00:00:34,584
Help! They're trying to kill me!
7
00:00:34,709 --> 00:00:37,053
I don't think I can
hold him for much longer.
8
00:00:37,077 --> 00:00:39,723
- Help!
- Look, Nick, we're just trying to do our job.
9
00:00:39,747 --> 00:00:40,959
Why don't we pull you up,
10
00:00:40,985 --> 00:00:43,086
and then we'll kill you
in a civilised manner?
11
00:00:43,112 --> 00:00:45,139
- Somebody please!
- Oh, God!
12
00:00:45,163 --> 00:00:47,404
If we let go of you,
you're gonna die anyway.
13
00:00:47,429 --> 00:00:50,187
All right. OK. You win.
14
00:00:50,857 --> 00:00:53,585
But I will need a head-start
when we get up there.
15
00:00:54,416 --> 00:00:56,367
- All right, five seconds.
- Ten?
16
00:00:56,405 --> 00:00:58,136
Oh, God! Er...
17
00:00:58,160 --> 00:00:59,782
All right, ten seconds.
18
00:01:00,350 --> 00:01:01,569
- Jamie, time it.
- Great.
19
00:01:01,593 --> 00:01:03,506
Jamie, Jamie, no!
20
00:01:03,550 --> 00:01:05,546
Oh! Oh, shit!
21
00:01:05,570 --> 00:01:06,984
Shitting hell!
22
00:01:18,143 --> 00:01:19,966
Do you still need me to...
23
00:01:19,991 --> 00:01:21,663
I think that ship might've sailed, mate.
24
00:01:29,868 --> 00:01:31,826
And as you know, if
I get less than six hours,
25
00:01:31,850 --> 00:01:33,554
God, I mean, the fluid, it just...
26
00:01:33,599 --> 00:01:35,730
- Matey, for the last time...
- And I swell.
27
00:01:35,756 --> 00:01:39,001
You haven't got eye bags.
They're pert little sacks.
28
00:01:39,025 --> 00:01:41,304
Who wants pert little sacks
hanging off their face?
29
00:01:41,743 --> 00:01:43,203
It's Joao, to be honest.
30
00:01:43,258 --> 00:01:44,789
He can't get to sleep without the sound
31
00:01:44,813 --> 00:01:47,292
of the Amazon rainforest at full pelt.
32
00:01:47,322 --> 00:01:49,559
Aw, man, that is not ideal.
33
00:01:49,615 --> 00:01:51,222
When I agreed to marry
him, I thought, "Ooh, look",
34
00:01:51,246 --> 00:01:54,306
there's a lovely gay man I
met at Pride who wants a visa."
35
00:01:54,431 --> 00:01:55,615
I didn't think that six months later,
36
00:01:55,639 --> 00:01:58,073
I'd be kept awake by
howler monkeys in heat.
37
00:01:58,098 --> 00:01:59,764
Last thing you want on your special day.
38
00:01:59,790 --> 00:02:02,369
No, to be honest, I didn't feel
much like celebrating anyway.
39
00:02:02,405 --> 00:02:05,203
- Happy birthday, by the way.
- Shut up in the back.
40
00:02:06,132 --> 00:02:07,961
I've already bought everything
41
00:02:07,985 --> 00:02:10,309
for the big birthday
dinner at mine tonight.
42
00:02:10,536 --> 00:02:12,249
And it was
supposed to be a surprise,
43
00:02:12,273 --> 00:02:14,939
- but now, obviously, I've...
- That's so lovely.
44
00:02:14,965 --> 00:02:16,914
That's sweet of you. Who's coming?
45
00:02:16,954 --> 00:02:18,349
- Oh, all the best ones.
- Mm?
46
00:02:18,373 --> 00:02:20,263
- Er, we're talking you...
- Mm.
47
00:02:20,287 --> 00:02:21,499
Me...
48
00:02:24,105 --> 00:02:25,465
- What, that's it, just us?
- Yep.
49
00:02:25,490 --> 00:02:27,293
- Just us?
- And a takeaway?
50
00:02:27,328 --> 00:02:28,991
That's like every Friday night.
51
00:02:29,015 --> 00:02:31,328
- That's not a surprise.
- Well, I called round,
52
00:02:31,389 --> 00:02:33,969
and everyone who picked
up said they were busy.
53
00:02:34,630 --> 00:02:37,421
- Even Joao.
- Jamie, I've told you, the Brazilians...
54
00:02:37,679 --> 00:02:40,060
they're a quiet, reserved people.
55
00:02:40,185 --> 00:02:41,244
You know, they don't...
56
00:02:41,279 --> 00:02:43,344
have a big party culture out there.
57
00:02:44,071 --> 00:02:46,308
You must have asked other
people. What about Patrick?
58
00:02:46,433 --> 00:02:49,085
Oh! Yeah, Patrick said yes.
59
00:02:49,125 --> 00:02:51,409
- Oh, great.
- Then I told him it was your birthday dinner,
60
00:02:51,433 --> 00:02:54,437
and he suddenly remembered he
had to go to his mum's funeral.
61
00:02:54,562 --> 00:02:56,311
She died six years ago.
62
00:02:56,912 --> 00:02:58,905
And they're only burying her now?
63
00:02:58,985 --> 00:03:00,463
No, Jamie, it's an excuse.
64
00:03:00,487 --> 00:03:02,462
I can't believe that
no-one else is coming.
65
00:03:03,058 --> 00:03:04,332
Do you think it's something to do
66
00:03:04,356 --> 00:03:06,512
with what happened at
your birthday last year?
67
00:03:06,568 --> 00:03:09,634
It was a mistake to go straight
from that job to the karaoke club.
68
00:03:09,658 --> 00:03:12,603
In my defence, I had no idea that
place was lit with UV lighting,
69
00:03:12,627 --> 00:03:16,105
and if I had... well, I would have
changed my clothes after the hit.
70
00:03:16,145 --> 00:03:17,705
I mean, how did they know it was blood?
71
00:03:18,100 --> 00:03:20,352
- Could've been urine.
- Or semen.
72
00:03:21,584 --> 00:03:24,740
Can I just say, it
definitively was not semen.
73
00:03:25,897 --> 00:03:28,734
- But I had a whole day planned.
- Well, I'm sorry.
74
00:03:29,043 --> 00:03:32,401
This muppet decided to wear
a wire to Mr K's meeting,
75
00:03:32,425 --> 00:03:34,335
so now we've got to deal with him.
76
00:03:34,411 --> 00:03:37,581
We've already sat here
for hours waiting for Mr K to call.
77
00:03:37,785 --> 00:03:40,889
You don't want to waste
your precious birthday, Fran,
78
00:03:40,970 --> 00:03:42,758
waiting to... you know...
79
00:03:42,782 --> 00:03:44,524
I can hear everything.
80
00:03:44,560 --> 00:03:46,751
K-I-L-L him.
81
00:03:46,776 --> 00:03:47,867
Yeah, and I can spell.
82
00:03:47,897 --> 00:03:50,104
It's kind of a requirement
of getting a law degree.
83
00:03:50,169 --> 00:03:51,478
I didn't have any choice.
84
00:03:51,502 --> 00:03:54,127
It was either wear a
wire or do 25 years!
85
00:03:54,158 --> 00:03:56,105
Yeah, whatever, pal. Mr K said...
86
00:03:56,318 --> 00:03:59,231
we sit and we wait, and
that's what we're gonna do.
87
00:03:59,265 --> 00:04:01,025
So why don't we do the birthday here?
88
00:04:01,105 --> 00:04:04,000
- Because that would be super weird.
- Oh, go on.
89
00:04:04,024 --> 00:04:06,761
Now the adrenaline's worn
off, I'm actually pretty bored.
90
00:04:06,816 --> 00:04:09,465
- Nobody asked you.
- Let's put this to the vote.
91
00:04:09,545 --> 00:04:13,902
Those in favour of celebrating
Fran's birthday within the van,
92
00:04:13,926 --> 00:04:15,314
raise your hand.
93
00:04:16,491 --> 00:04:20,187
Well, if I could raise my
hand, I would. I love birthdays.
94
00:04:20,225 --> 00:04:22,398
- Well, you don't get a vote.
- It's two to one.
95
00:04:22,625 --> 00:04:25,090
We are celebrating!
96
00:04:25,120 --> 00:04:27,305
Whoo-hoo!
97
00:04:39,142 --> 00:04:42,238
- Hello?
- Oh, hi! Er, Keith?
98
00:04:42,363 --> 00:04:43,621
Yeah?
99
00:04:44,202 --> 00:04:46,928
It's Fran.
100
00:04:46,959 --> 00:04:48,791
That was my good ear. It's Fran.
101
00:04:48,842 --> 00:04:51,826
- Oh, hey, Fran.
- It's my birthday today.
102
00:04:56,288 --> 00:04:58,006
OK, and erm...
103
00:04:58,030 --> 00:05:01,085
I was just having some
people round tonight.
104
00:05:03,393 --> 00:05:04,590
Keith?
105
00:05:05,650 --> 00:05:06,933
Keith?
106
00:05:14,497 --> 00:05:16,194
Next customer, please.
107
00:05:16,745 --> 00:05:18,992
Hello. Erm, how you doing, mate?
108
00:05:19,042 --> 00:05:24,233
Can I, er, have a birthday
McFlurry for my best friend, please?
109
00:05:24,259 --> 00:05:26,025
Birthday isn't a flavour.
110
00:05:26,105 --> 00:05:28,779
OK, two Smarties,
please. What do you want?
111
00:05:28,803 --> 00:05:30,495
- Don't ask him.
- Why not?
112
00:05:30,525 --> 00:05:32,985
We don't have to feed him, just
take care of him until Mr K calls.
113
00:05:33,009 --> 00:05:35,985
- After Eight, please.
- Do you do After Eight?
114
00:05:36,009 --> 00:05:38,096
No, that promotion
ended months ago.
115
00:05:38,120 --> 00:05:40,246
OK, they don't have After Eight.
116
00:05:40,594 --> 00:05:43,223
- What?
- Yeah, it was a promotion. It's ended.
117
00:05:44,294 --> 00:05:45,759
- Ask again.
- No, don't.
118
00:05:45,783 --> 00:05:47,950
- Go...
- Are you sure about the After Eights?
119
00:05:47,974 --> 00:05:49,939
Listen, mate, you're
not hearing me.
120
00:05:49,969 --> 00:05:52,379
I can't make you an
After Eight McFlurry
121
00:05:52,403 --> 00:05:55,196
if I literally don't have
the After Eight stuff.
122
00:05:57,206 --> 00:05:58,777
Could you try improvising?
123
00:05:58,801 --> 00:06:01,180
- I haven't got it!
- Well, all right.
124
00:06:01,256 --> 00:06:02,785
Keep your hair on.
125
00:06:03,775 --> 00:06:05,885
I think we've had a definitive answer
126
00:06:05,909 --> 00:06:07,148
on the chocolate and the mint.
127
00:06:07,178 --> 00:06:09,218
I love you dearly, it
was quite close proximity.
128
00:06:09,244 --> 00:06:10,980
- Sorry.
- Did you have lasagne?
129
00:06:11,006 --> 00:06:13,580
- I did, yeah.
- Wow, that's still very much in the mix.
130
00:06:21,416 --> 00:06:24,915
I can't believe you actually
made him an After Eight McFlurry.
131
00:06:24,960 --> 00:06:27,561
Well, we have to do something
while we wait for Mr K's call.
132
00:06:27,597 --> 00:06:29,581
You have arrived
at your destination.
133
00:06:29,625 --> 00:06:31,540
- Do you want some more?
- Yeah.
134
00:06:32,615 --> 00:06:34,741
Can you taste After Eight?
135
00:06:35,730 --> 00:06:37,505
- Who's that?
- I don't know.
136
00:06:43,243 --> 00:06:46,005
- Hi.
- Hello. Erm, are you Fran?
137
00:06:46,341 --> 00:06:47,669
Who's asking?
138
00:06:47,937 --> 00:06:49,624
The Human Spider.
139
00:06:51,119 --> 00:06:53,094
- Right.
- Are you the stripper I ordered?
140
00:06:53,118 --> 00:06:54,381
Did you order a stripper?
141
00:06:54,411 --> 00:06:56,694
Erm, no, the Human Spider.
142
00:06:56,729 --> 00:06:59,148
The agency said you needed
me for a birthday party?
143
00:06:59,173 --> 00:07:01,721
Well, there must have been a mix-up.
I thought I'd ordered a stripper.
144
00:07:01,745 --> 00:07:03,321
Oh, well, they do
those as well, you know,
145
00:07:03,345 --> 00:07:05,849
strippers, gorilla-grams,
magicians, freaks, whatever,
146
00:07:05,879 --> 00:07:08,753
- I just go where I'm told, really.
- Great, well, I'm telling you to just piss off.
147
00:07:08,777 --> 00:07:10,246
Well, hang on, he's here.
148
00:07:10,371 --> 00:07:12,771
- You love animals.
- Yeah, I do, I love animals.
149
00:07:12,795 --> 00:07:14,933
I love cats and dogs and donkeys.
150
00:07:14,957 --> 00:07:17,376
I'm just not that into grown
men dressed as Spider-Man.
151
00:07:17,501 --> 00:07:20,400
No, not Spider-Man. Every time!
152
00:07:20,450 --> 00:07:22,956
The Human Spider, there's
a big difference, pal.
153
00:07:22,980 --> 00:07:25,116
- Do you wanna pop round?
- Yeah, sure.
154
00:07:25,146 --> 00:07:26,545
Jamie, what...?
155
00:07:28,479 --> 00:07:30,529
Right.
156
00:07:30,654 --> 00:07:32,705
- Get out.
- OK. OK.
157
00:07:35,417 --> 00:07:37,790
Have you got someone
from the agency already?
158
00:07:37,866 --> 00:07:39,921
- I'm not from the agency.
- Sorry.
159
00:07:39,956 --> 00:07:42,145
Your agency has a guy
with a bag over his head?
160
00:07:42,225 --> 00:07:43,683
Who orders him?
161
00:07:43,759 --> 00:07:45,708
Finally! Somebody said...
162
00:07:45,743 --> 00:07:47,455
I agree... He makes, like,
163
00:07:47,500 --> 00:07:50,661
ten times more than me, as
well. I just can't understand it.
164
00:07:52,225 --> 00:07:53,726
So who's this guy?
165
00:07:54,408 --> 00:07:56,065
I'm er...
166
00:07:56,544 --> 00:07:58,135
Er, I'm an old friend.
167
00:07:58,811 --> 00:08:02,579
But I don't get to see these guys
very often because I'm always...
168
00:08:03,144 --> 00:08:05,487
tied up in court.
169
00:08:05,881 --> 00:08:07,598
In fact, I should be there now.
170
00:08:07,992 --> 00:08:10,749
And when my clients
realise that I'm not coming,
171
00:08:11,006 --> 00:08:13,127
they're gonna kill me.
172
00:08:13,521 --> 00:08:15,107
They're gonna kill me, mate!
173
00:08:18,540 --> 00:08:20,867
I didn't ask for your life story, mate.
174
00:08:22,721 --> 00:08:25,397
Right, er, let's get
started. Where do you want me?
175
00:08:25,453 --> 00:08:27,716
- What do you do?
- Oh! I'm a writer.
176
00:08:27,740 --> 00:08:29,276
But you know, just sending stuff out,
177
00:08:29,300 --> 00:08:30,905
trying to remain positive.
178
00:08:30,985 --> 00:08:33,225
She meant as the man-spider.
179
00:08:33,673 --> 00:08:35,330
Oh. Right, sorry.
180
00:08:35,354 --> 00:08:37,878
Right, well, it in that case...
181
00:08:37,934 --> 00:08:39,095
Erm...
182
00:08:39,575 --> 00:08:42,705
forget everything you think
you know about the Human Spider
183
00:08:42,785 --> 00:08:45,865
and set your minds to "blown".
184
00:08:48,048 --> 00:08:49,663
Sorry. Hang on.
185
00:09:22,843 --> 00:09:25,373
- I didn't expect to be moved but...
- Whoo! Oh!
186
00:09:25,498 --> 00:09:28,559
I didn't... I didn't think I was
gonna have it in me today but...
187
00:09:28,609 --> 00:09:30,629
when that bass kicks in, man!
188
00:09:30,754 --> 00:09:32,148
I feel like I can do anything.
189
00:09:32,194 --> 00:09:36,168
You could've sung Happy Birthday,
but that was... powerful.
190
00:09:37,183 --> 00:09:39,304
Bit rude. Not to clap.
191
00:09:39,470 --> 00:09:42,405
- You could at least...
- Firstly, I can't see anything,
192
00:09:42,430 --> 00:09:45,727
and secondly, I can't
clap, my hands are tied!
193
00:09:45,762 --> 00:09:47,505
Sorry, what is going on?
194
00:09:53,558 --> 00:09:56,143
Is that all... part of
the act, do you think?
195
00:09:56,185 --> 00:09:57,865
Erm, can we let him go?
196
00:10:05,302 --> 00:10:06,692
That's a no, then.
197
00:10:20,845 --> 00:10:22,022
Hello?
198
00:10:22,582 --> 00:10:25,085
Hello? Kirsty, it's Fran.
199
00:10:25,165 --> 00:10:27,005
Oh. Right.
200
00:10:27,285 --> 00:10:30,543
- Hey. You came up as a private number.
- Yeah.
201
00:10:31,325 --> 00:10:32,461
Erm...
202
00:10:32,517 --> 00:10:35,228
listen, I wondered if you wanted
to come to my birthday tonight.
203
00:10:35,405 --> 00:10:37,067
Tonight? Erm...
204
00:10:37,525 --> 00:10:39,245
er, I'm not sure.
205
00:10:39,459 --> 00:10:42,805
Listen, Kirsty, if it's about
last year's karaoke, then...
206
00:10:42,883 --> 00:10:45,045
I'm sorry, we didn't realise
there'd be UV lighting,
207
00:10:45,069 --> 00:10:47,583
- and it looked like blood, but it wasn't...
- Sorry, Fran.
208
00:10:47,613 --> 00:10:49,739
Or urine. Erm...
209
00:10:50,097 --> 00:10:51,977
And it definitely wasn't semen.
210
00:10:52,001 --> 00:10:53,945
Can I call you back?
211
00:10:54,165 --> 00:10:56,646
I'm about to go through a tunnel.
212
00:10:57,328 --> 00:11:00,338
But... this is your home number.
213
00:11:00,919 --> 00:11:02,217
H... hello?
214
00:11:02,545 --> 00:11:03,743
Kirsty a no, then?
215
00:11:03,767 --> 00:11:07,717
Oh, no, she's gonna phone me back.
I think it's likely she... Yeah.
216
00:11:07,842 --> 00:11:09,445
Any news from Mr K?
217
00:11:09,525 --> 00:11:10,680
No.
218
00:11:11,049 --> 00:11:12,372
Oh.
219
00:11:14,629 --> 00:11:16,679
Oh, shit.
220
00:11:16,804 --> 00:11:18,330
Look who's here.
221
00:11:22,885 --> 00:11:24,854
Oh... my God!
222
00:11:24,885 --> 00:11:26,303
You fancy her.
223
00:11:26,605 --> 00:11:29,177
Oh, God, no, I don't.
No! God, not remotely.
224
00:11:29,302 --> 00:11:33,545
Not my type. I don't go for
that obviously hot... thing.
225
00:11:51,879 --> 00:11:54,394
- Fran.
- Liz.
226
00:11:54,426 --> 00:11:56,170
- Jamie.
- Jamie.
227
00:11:56,209 --> 00:11:58,250
Sorry, that's my name. Charles.
228
00:12:00,194 --> 00:12:01,664
Nice hair.
229
00:12:01,929 --> 00:12:05,420
- What have you done to it?
- I washed it. You should try it sometime.
230
00:12:05,559 --> 00:12:07,410
What are you idiots doing here?
231
00:12:07,475 --> 00:12:10,828
- This is our canal.
- Oh, YOUR canal? Who do think you are...
232
00:12:12,805 --> 00:12:14,752
God, someone who owns a canal.
233
00:12:17,205 --> 00:12:19,590
- Oh, Ratty from Wind In The Willows.
- That's a river.
234
00:12:19,635 --> 00:12:21,328
- Why are you helping her?
- Sorry.
235
00:12:21,352 --> 00:12:24,337
- Don't apologise. It's weak.
- Sorry... Ah, I've done it again.
236
00:12:24,387 --> 00:12:27,761
Excuse me? Any chance
of loosening this bag?
237
00:12:28,685 --> 00:12:30,165
Or maybe a bigger bag?
238
00:12:30,245 --> 00:12:32,815
- I mean, not silly big, obviously...
- Get back in the van!
239
00:12:35,638 --> 00:12:36,880
Who the fuck is that?
240
00:12:36,930 --> 00:12:39,538
Nobody, Liz. Just a
target, we're all over it.
241
00:12:39,562 --> 00:12:42,333
- What's with his party hat?
- It's Fran's birthday.
242
00:12:42,449 --> 00:12:44,146
Oh, many happy returns.
243
00:12:44,620 --> 00:12:48,256
Ooh, are you guys free tonight?
We're having a birthday dinner.
244
00:12:49,365 --> 00:12:52,062
- They won't be...
- Definitely. We'd love to.
245
00:12:52,451 --> 00:12:54,460
- Really?
- No.
246
00:12:54,561 --> 00:12:56,846
Good. I'm glad you said that,
'cos we were joking anyway
247
00:12:56,871 --> 00:12:58,200
- and...
- Oh, really?
248
00:12:58,225 --> 00:12:59,841
'Cos I was just messing with you.
249
00:12:59,886 --> 00:13:01,325
Of course I wanna come.
250
00:13:01,941 --> 00:13:03,078
Really?
251
00:13:03,552 --> 00:13:05,026
Nope. Ha!
252
00:13:07,258 --> 00:13:09,315
If the offer is still on the
table, I would love to come.
253
00:13:09,339 --> 00:13:12,245
- I'm on antibiotics, so I can't drink...
- Shut up, Charles!
254
00:13:12,433 --> 00:13:14,367
Anyway, we gotta bounce.
255
00:13:14,418 --> 00:13:17,085
Mr K's put us straight on another job.
256
00:13:17,165 --> 00:13:19,113
Big money.
257
00:13:24,685 --> 00:13:26,179
You wouldn't be a darling and dump this
258
00:13:26,203 --> 00:13:27,542
- in the canal for us, would you?
- Of course.
259
00:13:27,566 --> 00:13:30,803
Enjoy your dinner. Sounds
like it's gonna be great
260
00:13:33,125 --> 00:13:35,448
You're actually missing
out, cos we're gonna have...
261
00:13:35,645 --> 00:13:37,625
Not that it's just us.
There's lots of people.
262
00:13:37,649 --> 00:13:38,903
We're gonna have an amazing night.
263
00:13:38,927 --> 00:13:40,585
- Amazing night.
- Round at mine.
264
00:13:40,609 --> 00:13:41,949
- Yep.
- Oh, sorry, Fran,
265
00:13:41,973 --> 00:13:43,371
I can't hear you!
266
00:13:43,395 --> 00:13:44,406
What?
267
00:13:44,430 --> 00:13:45,768
You gotta talk louder!
268
00:13:45,814 --> 00:13:48,575
I'm gonna have a really good birthday!
269
00:13:51,307 --> 00:13:53,581
I'll put Charles down as a maybe.
270
00:13:53,605 --> 00:13:54,923
OK!
271
00:14:02,325 --> 00:14:04,894
Do you guys
know any party games?
272
00:14:06,510 --> 00:14:08,245
Oh, film. OK...
273
00:14:08,325 --> 00:14:09,989
Erm, Die Hard?
274
00:14:12,942 --> 00:14:14,311
Die Hard 2?
275
00:14:16,885 --> 00:14:18,179
Aladdin?
276
00:14:18,926 --> 00:14:20,345
Oh, I don't know.
277
00:14:20,411 --> 00:14:23,491
I've been guessing for half an hour
and I haven't got... What's this?
278
00:14:23,552 --> 00:14:26,897
- If I could see...
- We're not taking that bag off.
279
00:14:26,921 --> 00:14:29,325
- Why?
- Because he'll see our faces.
280
00:14:29,349 --> 00:14:31,081
What if Mr K decides to let him go?
281
00:14:31,107 --> 00:14:33,839
You invited me to your
party. Let me join in.
282
00:14:33,874 --> 00:14:36,845
- I didn't invite you to anything.
- Hang on. I've got an idea.
283
00:14:40,725 --> 00:14:43,233
Right er... OK.
284
00:14:45,045 --> 00:14:46,857
Just one minute.
285
00:14:47,365 --> 00:14:49,181
There. Oh, Jamie!
286
00:14:49,205 --> 00:14:51,219
No, listen, I didn't take the bag off.
287
00:14:51,245 --> 00:14:54,338
- I just cut some eyeholes so that he could...
- See. See us.
288
00:14:54,376 --> 00:14:56,465
Well, it's done now.
289
00:14:56,805 --> 00:14:59,885
Right, I can see now
why you're a bit annoyed.
290
00:15:01,476 --> 00:15:02,965
Hello.
291
00:15:03,616 --> 00:15:05,187
Oh, FYI, guys?
292
00:15:05,238 --> 00:15:07,194
I was doing Pinocchio.
293
00:15:07,605 --> 00:15:10,072
Ah, why did you tell
us? I was gonna guess.
294
00:15:10,097 --> 00:15:11,935
What do you mean that's Pinocchio?
Why didn't you just do that?
295
00:15:11,959 --> 00:15:15,405
- What's that?
- That's Pinocchio's nose growing. It's sort of...
296
00:15:15,550 --> 00:15:18,381
That's standard how to... Pinocchio!
297
00:15:18,405 --> 00:15:20,309
I think I saw a different version.
298
00:15:20,657 --> 00:15:22,020
Can I do one?
299
00:15:22,292 --> 00:15:24,045
Go on, knock yourself out.
300
00:15:31,725 --> 00:15:34,026
- Riverdance.
- Yes!
301
00:15:34,405 --> 00:15:36,581
Mm. You see? He can do it...
302
00:15:36,605 --> 00:15:38,293
and he's got his hands
tied behind his back.
303
00:15:38,317 --> 00:15:41,518
- That's because he's extremely good at it.
- Yeah. Thanks, Jamie.
304
00:15:41,885 --> 00:15:43,885
- You're having fun, though?
- No.
305
00:15:44,023 --> 00:15:45,386
I am.
306
00:15:48,901 --> 00:15:51,357
Is Mr K ever going to call?
307
00:15:56,645 --> 00:15:58,401
Do you wanna open your present?
308
00:15:58,765 --> 00:16:00,497
Maybe later, you know, just...
309
00:16:00,566 --> 00:16:02,636
Oh, go on, open it.
310
00:16:08,805 --> 00:16:11,139
Look. There we are.
311
00:16:11,593 --> 00:16:14,421
God. Can you believe how
long we've known each other?
312
00:16:14,447 --> 00:16:18,203
I won't lie. Sometimes it
feels like a lot longer.
313
00:16:19,137 --> 00:16:20,753
And who are these peo...?
314
00:16:21,085 --> 00:16:22,640
- Who are these people?
- Oh, yeah,
315
00:16:22,666 --> 00:16:25,221
I could only find one
photo of us that fit,
316
00:16:25,245 --> 00:16:27,557
so I kept the stock one
so it wouldn't look weird.
317
00:16:28,219 --> 00:16:30,037
I tell you what, that
looks like Kylie Barn.
318
00:16:30,085 --> 00:16:32,181
The girl that used to
fiddle with herself in RE?
319
00:16:32,205 --> 00:16:33,785
Captain Birdseye.
320
00:16:33,823 --> 00:16:36,203
Yeah. Do you know she's
got a dental practice now?
321
00:16:36,266 --> 00:16:37,541
She set it up with her husband.
322
00:16:37,565 --> 00:16:39,369
Ooh, I wouldn't want those
fingers near my mouth,
323
00:16:39,393 --> 00:16:40,621
- I tell you.
- No.
324
00:16:40,645 --> 00:16:43,120
Don't know why I'm laughing at
her. At least she's got a life.
325
00:16:43,180 --> 00:16:44,417
What have I got?
326
00:16:44,534 --> 00:16:46,715
A sham marriage, a knackered van,
327
00:16:46,745 --> 00:16:48,565
and RSI in my trigger... Look at that.
328
00:16:48,645 --> 00:16:49,861
I know what you mean, Fran.
329
00:16:49,885 --> 00:16:53,203
I think if I had my life again,
I'd make different decisions.
330
00:16:53,405 --> 00:16:55,693
Stop using my skills
331
00:16:55,763 --> 00:16:58,404
to help terrible people
get away with murder,
332
00:16:58,450 --> 00:16:59,954
sometimes literally.
333
00:17:00,025 --> 00:17:02,039
I've wasted so much time
334
00:17:02,064 --> 00:17:04,221
mixing with the wrong
people for the wrong reasons.
335
00:17:04,245 --> 00:17:05,705
I hear you.
336
00:17:05,786 --> 00:17:07,579
We were friends with this boy at school,
337
00:17:07,609 --> 00:17:09,507
you know, bad boy, you know the type.
338
00:17:09,553 --> 00:17:11,896
He used to make us smoke with him
339
00:17:11,920 --> 00:17:14,546
and play pranks on all
the teachers. Anyway,
340
00:17:14,683 --> 00:17:19,285
one day, he was trapped in the
kiln and was baked to death.
341
00:17:19,546 --> 00:17:21,616
They had to close down
the art department.
342
00:17:21,803 --> 00:17:23,671
Really ruined it for the rest of us.
343
00:17:25,445 --> 00:17:27,362
Yeah, that wasn't really what I meant.
344
00:17:28,005 --> 00:17:30,260
I guess I'm just saying that...
345
00:17:30,605 --> 00:17:33,022
nobody's life works out as they planned.
346
00:17:33,285 --> 00:17:36,461
You know? Everyone ends up
doing stuff they're not proud of.
347
00:17:36,572 --> 00:17:38,561
And in the end...
348
00:17:39,085 --> 00:17:40,621
the most important thing
349
00:17:40,645 --> 00:17:45,045
is that the people who know
you accept you for who you are.
350
00:17:46,866 --> 00:17:48,179
God, you know what?
351
00:17:48,685 --> 00:17:50,861
For a guy that spent the
day with a bag on his head,
352
00:17:50,885 --> 00:17:53,587
you are absolutely right.
353
00:18:02,884 --> 00:18:04,091
Hello?
354
00:18:07,217 --> 00:18:08,494
Yeah.
355
00:18:09,765 --> 00:18:11,115
Understood.
356
00:18:15,695 --> 00:18:17,023
Please.
357
00:18:19,577 --> 00:18:21,083
No. I...
358
00:18:21,107 --> 00:18:23,661
You don't have to do
this. Just speak to Mr K,
359
00:18:23,685 --> 00:18:25,581
just tell him that I'm sorry, OK?
360
00:18:25,605 --> 00:18:28,902
- Come on, he's a reasonable guy.
- He is not a reasonable guy.
361
00:18:29,285 --> 00:18:32,021
- Jamie?
- It's not her decision. Don't look at her.
362
00:18:32,045 --> 00:18:33,384
Please.
363
00:18:33,744 --> 00:18:35,601
- Turn around.
- Oh, my God.
364
00:18:35,625 --> 00:18:37,365
This is really happening.
365
00:18:39,765 --> 00:18:41,841
Oh, my God.
366
00:18:45,963 --> 00:18:49,289
Only joking! I'm just joking!
367
00:18:49,321 --> 00:18:51,043
He said you're free to go.
368
00:18:51,106 --> 00:18:53,214
That was a really good
one. That was...
369
00:18:53,246 --> 00:18:56,837
It's just a birthday prank.
It's just... Your face!
370
00:18:56,888 --> 00:18:59,645
Your face was
unbelievable. It was just...
371
00:19:19,049 --> 00:19:20,885
You really had me going there.
372
00:19:20,965 --> 00:19:22,605
Oh, seriously, though...
373
00:19:22,685 --> 00:19:24,407
what you doing tonight?
374
00:19:28,087 --> 00:19:29,930
I'd like to propose a toast.
375
00:19:29,965 --> 00:19:31,445
Oh.
376
00:19:31,525 --> 00:19:33,597
- To birthdays...
- Yay!
377
00:19:33,645 --> 00:19:35,325
And to new friends.
378
00:19:35,405 --> 00:19:36,999
To new friends.
379
00:19:37,074 --> 00:19:40,457
And to birthdays not spent
cry-eating cake alone...
380
00:19:40,501 --> 00:19:42,285
in a karaoke booth.
381
00:19:44,285 --> 00:19:46,036
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
382
00:19:46,074 --> 00:19:48,567
Oh, I almost forgot. Back in a sec.
383
00:19:48,731 --> 00:19:50,567
Do you want some more wine?
384
00:19:50,605 --> 00:19:54,013
- Er, ooh, yes, please.
- All right, coming straight up.
385
00:19:57,327 --> 00:19:59,252
Oh. You've got a text.
386
00:19:59,285 --> 00:20:02,459
Is it one of my mates just
finally remembering my birthday?
387
00:20:02,483 --> 00:20:06,228
Er, no, no, look, it's
from Mr K. He says...
388
00:20:06,264 --> 00:20:09,152
He says, "Have you done it
yet?" Have you done what yet?
389
00:20:16,629 --> 00:20:18,731
He didn't say I could go, did he?
390
00:20:22,965 --> 00:20:24,621
Did you just keep me alive
391
00:20:24,645 --> 00:20:27,348
so that you could have guest
at your birthday dinner?
392
00:20:37,759 --> 00:20:39,085
Sorry...
393
00:20:39,645 --> 00:20:41,561
you fucking bitch.
394
00:20:58,046 --> 00:21:00,062
I mean it's one thing
killing somebody, but
395
00:21:00,086 --> 00:21:02,166
popping her tits in a laminator.
396
00:21:07,326 --> 00:21:10,074
I'm not going to get so
hungry in the next 2 hours
397
00:21:10,098 --> 00:21:13,627
that I give up millions of
pounds, I'm not a cartoon bear.
398
00:21:20,131 --> 00:21:23,448
Did you skip lunch? Because
you got some hungry eyes girl.
399
00:21:30,845 --> 00:21:32,045
Oh fuck!
400
00:21:35,479 --> 00:21:38,352
You bloody killed me!
401
00:21:38,408 --> 00:21:42,205
- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -
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