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1
00:01:15,284 --> 00:01:16,886
Good evening Mr. and Mrs.
North and south America,
2
00:01:16,910 --> 00:01:19,276
and all our ships at sea, let's
get a fresh flesh... -Flash!
3
00:01:19,371 --> 00:01:20,932
Congress today has called
an emergency session,
4
00:01:20,956 --> 00:01:22,366
but as yet no one has shown up.
5
00:01:22,457 --> 00:01:23,851
And the president refuses
to issue a statement,
6
00:01:23,875 --> 00:01:25,270
having locked himself
and the vice president
7
00:01:25,294 --> 00:01:26,830
in his bath-room
early this morning.
8
00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:28,439
However, the first lady
urges all, and I quote,
9
00:01:28,463 --> 00:01:31,250
"seek comfort in
the Bible," unquote.
10
00:01:31,341 --> 00:01:33,206
A bulletin just in,
the world's top scientists
11
00:01:33,302 --> 00:01:34,904
are holding a conference
in Washington, D.C.,
12
00:01:34,928 --> 00:01:36,608
awaiting a statement
from professor Gordon,
13
00:01:36,638 --> 00:01:38,919
world authority on animal
behavior and renowned physicist.
14
00:02:06,251 --> 00:02:09,368
Gentlemen, we are
in big trouble.
15
00:02:09,463 --> 00:02:11,419
Sex madness perils planet!
16
00:02:11,506 --> 00:02:12,837
Extra! Read all about it!
17
00:02:12,924 --> 00:02:14,630
Sex madness perils planet!
18
00:02:14,718 --> 00:02:16,128
Get it now, read all about it!
19
00:02:16,219 --> 00:02:17,709
Sex madness perils planet!
20
00:02:18,889 --> 00:02:21,756
Hey, scram you horny jerks!
21
00:02:23,268 --> 00:02:24,849
Gentlemen!
22
00:02:24,936 --> 00:02:27,678
As I have told you,
we are in big trouble.
23
00:02:27,773 --> 00:02:29,764
I think there is no need
for me to describe to you
24
00:02:29,858 --> 00:02:32,395
the incredible chaos
our beloved planet
25
00:02:32,486 --> 00:02:34,442
has been plunged into.
26
00:02:34,529 --> 00:02:37,145
Of the disgrace-ful acts
which are being committed
27
00:02:37,240 --> 00:02:38,525
at this very moment!
28
00:02:38,617 --> 00:02:40,699
In every apartment,
on every street corner,
29
00:02:40,786 --> 00:02:42,276
or on the rooftops!
30
00:02:42,371 --> 00:02:46,284
In grass huts in the jungle,
in igloos in the arctic.
31
00:02:47,584 --> 00:02:50,041
In airports, in markets,
32
00:02:50,128 --> 00:02:53,211
in movie houses, in the parks!
33
00:02:53,298 --> 00:02:54,834
Yes, we are in big trouble.
34
00:02:54,925 --> 00:02:56,461
Doctor Gordon...
35
00:02:56,551 --> 00:02:58,587
All of us here are aware
of the total degradation
36
00:02:58,679 --> 00:03:00,510
that has overcome the masses,
37
00:03:00,597 --> 00:03:02,037
but what are we
going to do about it?
38
00:03:03,058 --> 00:03:04,639
What is causing it?
39
00:03:04,726 --> 00:03:07,638
Now I say it's a virus and
we must find a vaccine for it!
40
00:03:07,729 --> 00:03:08,889
It is not a virus,
41
00:03:08,980 --> 00:03:11,471
any fool can see it's
a case of mass hypnosis!
42
00:03:11,566 --> 00:03:13,181
Hypnosis... ha!
I've done research
43
00:03:13,276 --> 00:03:16,188
and traced the cause to
cans of bad passover tuna.
44
00:03:18,365 --> 00:03:19,855
Tuna fish, tuna fish!
45
00:03:19,950 --> 00:03:21,736
This guy's got
Mercury on his brain!
46
00:03:29,126 --> 00:03:30,491
Gentlemen!
47
00:03:30,585 --> 00:03:33,998
Gentlemen, we must be calm!
48
00:03:34,089 --> 00:03:38,002
Future generations are depending
on decisions made here today.
49
00:03:38,093 --> 00:03:41,677
Now, I have discovered
three things about this madness.
50
00:03:41,763 --> 00:03:45,472
Number one, not all
areas are affected.
51
00:03:45,559 --> 00:03:49,393
Look around you, are anyone
of you sexually aroused?
52
00:03:49,479 --> 00:03:50,594
Yes, ha-ha-hal
53
00:03:50,689 --> 00:03:53,055
anyone of you, huh? No!
54
00:03:53,150 --> 00:03:55,391
Not all areas have
been affected.
55
00:03:55,485 --> 00:03:57,851
Number two, my son,
who has been rep-resenting
56
00:03:57,946 --> 00:04:00,813
United States at the tenth
international ice hockey
57
00:04:00,907 --> 00:04:02,772
playoffs in Tibet,
58
00:04:02,868 --> 00:04:06,656
has discovered what appears
to be a great beam of light
59
00:04:06,747 --> 00:04:09,284
proceeding from some
far off planet
60
00:04:09,374 --> 00:04:11,660
whose appearance is simultaneous
61
00:04:11,752 --> 00:04:14,494
with the first
occurrence yesterday.
62
00:04:14,588 --> 00:04:18,080
Number three,
I discovered my wife...
63
00:04:18,175 --> 00:04:20,962
In bed with the garbage man.
64
00:04:27,976 --> 00:04:29,557
But what about
your son, professor?
65
00:04:29,644 --> 00:04:31,259
Did he find anything else out?
66
00:04:31,354 --> 00:04:33,166
Yes professor, what are
you holding back from us?
67
00:04:33,190 --> 00:04:34,350
What's the scoop?
68
00:04:34,441 --> 00:04:36,181
My son is at this very moment,
69
00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:39,484
'on his way back to this country
and as soon as he has landed...
70
00:04:39,571 --> 00:04:42,187
We shall all find out.
71
00:07:49,344 --> 00:07:51,300
Mable towers, mable towers,
72
00:07:51,388 --> 00:07:53,549
we're experiencing foul weather.
73
00:08:04,776 --> 00:08:06,437
Sorry!
74
00:08:10,657 --> 00:08:14,570
Oh, oooh, I'm sorry.
75
00:08:14,661 --> 00:08:15,821
Oh, that's all right.
76
00:08:15,912 --> 00:08:17,868
Is this your first flight?
My first drink.
77
00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:25,751
It's a terrible storm,
78
00:08:25,839 --> 00:08:28,000
do you think we're
going to make it?
79
00:08:28,091 --> 00:08:30,753
Don't worry.
80
00:08:30,844 --> 00:08:33,301
These new Fordent Trimotors are
the safest things in the sky.
81
00:08:41,896 --> 00:08:43,887
My name is Dale Ardor,
what's yours?
82
00:08:43,982 --> 00:08:46,268
Flesh. Flesh Gordon.
83
00:08:46,359 --> 00:08:48,315
Oh, professor Gordon's son?
84
00:08:48,403 --> 00:08:50,143
Why yes.
85
00:08:50,238 --> 00:08:51,728
Sir, look out!
86
00:09:13,887 --> 00:09:15,502
Control yourself, Dale!
87
00:09:15,597 --> 00:09:18,589
Control yourself, Dale! Dale!
88
00:09:18,683 --> 00:09:20,639
Con-control yourself, Dale!
89
00:09:22,228 --> 00:09:25,345
Sir, I've got a giant boner!
90
00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:26,930
Well slap the damn thing down.
91
00:09:27,025 --> 00:09:28,025
I can't!
92
00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:29,128
I've got to keep this
thing under control.
93
00:09:29,152 --> 00:09:30,152
I can't!
94
00:09:32,405 --> 00:09:34,942
Mable towers, mable towers.
95
00:09:35,033 --> 00:09:37,695
You got two horny
son-of-a-bitches here.
96
00:09:37,786 --> 00:09:39,447
We're signing off.
97
00:10:07,690 --> 00:10:09,521
Dale! There's no one
at the controls!
98
00:10:09,609 --> 00:10:10,609
The plane's going down!
99
00:10:10,693 --> 00:10:12,058
Go down, go down!
100
00:10:12,153 --> 00:10:15,520
Oh yes, oh yes. Oh, Flesh.
101
00:10:19,452 --> 00:10:22,444
Flesh! Flesh!
102
00:10:24,374 --> 00:10:26,660
Oh, Flesh!
103
00:10:29,671 --> 00:10:31,832
Flesh!
104
00:10:35,885 --> 00:10:37,295
Let me go!
105
00:10:37,387 --> 00:10:38,467
Flesh!
106
00:10:43,476 --> 00:10:45,387
Flesh... oh!
107
00:10:53,736 --> 00:10:55,727
Dale. We'll have to bail out.
108
00:11:03,997 --> 00:11:07,455
Flesh, oh my god, ooh.
109
00:11:07,542 --> 00:11:09,578
Oh my god!
110
00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:19,045
Just hold on!
111
00:11:19,137 --> 00:11:20,468
I can't hold anymore!
112
00:11:20,555 --> 00:11:22,716
Ooohhh. Oh!
113
00:11:34,527 --> 00:11:37,018
Flesh, mmm.
114
00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:48,155
Dale?
115
00:11:48,249 --> 00:11:50,706
Dale, darling,
are you all right?
116
00:11:50,793 --> 00:11:52,533
You called me "darling."
117
00:11:52,629 --> 00:11:55,336
Oh, Flesh, what's happening?
118
00:12:04,182 --> 00:12:06,013
- Can you walk?
- I think so.
119
00:12:14,609 --> 00:12:16,941
Here, put this on.
120
00:12:28,289 --> 00:12:30,405
Flesh, what's that?
121
00:12:31,668 --> 00:12:33,229
Come on, maybe we can
get to a telephone there.
122
00:12:33,253 --> 00:12:34,663
Stop.
123
00:12:34,754 --> 00:12:37,040
Not another step further.
124
00:12:37,131 --> 00:12:39,167
I know what you've
come here for.
125
00:12:39,259 --> 00:12:41,341
But you're not going to get it.
126
00:12:41,427 --> 00:12:43,839
Look, I don't know
who you think we are,
127
00:12:43,930 --> 00:12:47,548
but this girl's hurt, and we
gotta get to a telephone.
128
00:12:47,642 --> 00:12:49,745
You see, we were flying along
in this airplane from Tibet,
129
00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:52,260
when suddenly we were hit by
this sex ray from outer space.
130
00:12:52,355 --> 00:12:54,095
And this unrestrained
sex orgy ensued,
131
00:12:54,190 --> 00:12:56,306
which both of
the pilots joined in.
132
00:12:56,401 --> 00:12:57,753
When I noticed the plane
was going down,
133
00:12:57,777 --> 00:12:58,812
I took over the controls
134
00:12:58,903 --> 00:13:00,103
but they broke off in my hand.
135
00:13:00,154 --> 00:13:01,439
So you see the young lady,
136
00:13:01,531 --> 00:13:03,146
nearly overcome
with sex madness,
137
00:13:03,241 --> 00:13:06,074
and myself, bailed out just
before the plane crashed.
138
00:13:06,160 --> 00:13:07,525
And we landed just over there.
139
00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:09,781
Do you take me for a fool?
140
00:13:09,872 --> 00:13:12,113
Do you think I don't know
you've come here to steal
141
00:13:12,208 --> 00:13:14,665
the secret plans to
my new interstellar,
142
00:13:14,752 --> 00:13:17,664
hydrocombustion, miracle
patented, micro-teflon,
143
00:13:17,755 --> 00:13:20,667
nuclear, gamastaddle
rocketship-plane-missle!
144
00:13:20,758 --> 00:13:23,875
Which was twenty
years in the making.
145
00:13:23,970 --> 00:13:26,052
And employs a new
updraft design,
146
00:13:26,139 --> 00:13:28,926
which lifts the ship
on small spirals
147
00:13:29,017 --> 00:13:31,759
of synthetic strontium pellets.
148
00:13:31,853 --> 00:13:33,639
Do you think I don't know that!
149
00:13:33,730 --> 00:13:35,812
Well, I've never
even heard of it.
150
00:13:35,898 --> 00:13:38,105
So you're barking up
the wrong tree.
151
00:13:38,192 --> 00:13:39,557
Come here, young lady.
152
00:13:39,652 --> 00:13:41,643
I would like to conduct
a little experiment,
153
00:13:41,738 --> 00:13:44,104
you see there's evidence that
exposure to the sex ray,
154
00:13:44,198 --> 00:13:45,904
increases the size of
the secondary...
155
00:13:45,992 --> 00:13:47,357
- Jerkoff!
- What?
156
00:13:47,452 --> 00:13:50,410
Flexi Jerkoff, I thought
I recognized you.
157
00:13:50,496 --> 00:13:53,112
Why... why you must be Flesh,
158
00:13:53,207 --> 00:13:55,539
professor Gordon's son.
159
00:13:55,626 --> 00:13:58,914
I was wondering why you knew
so much about the sex ray.
160
00:13:59,005 --> 00:14:02,918
Come, let me show you the ship.
161
00:14:03,009 --> 00:14:05,000
Gosh, let me introduce you.
162
00:14:05,094 --> 00:14:08,006
Dale Ardor, this is
doctor Flexi Jerkoff.
163
00:14:08,097 --> 00:14:10,179
How do you do?
164
00:14:13,061 --> 00:14:15,518
So you see, I've actually
discovered which planet
165
00:14:15,605 --> 00:14:17,345
the sex ray is coming from,
166
00:14:17,440 --> 00:14:20,853
and fortunately, the straddle
ship was ready just in time.
167
00:14:20,943 --> 00:14:23,730
Oh, you can't know what
it was like, out here,
168
00:14:23,821 --> 00:14:26,107
all alone when the sex ray hit.
169
00:14:26,199 --> 00:14:28,064
It was hell!
170
00:14:28,159 --> 00:14:31,367
Fortunately, the rocket was
completed before that happened,
171
00:14:31,454 --> 00:14:35,447
and the design was
not influenced.
172
00:14:36,542 --> 00:14:38,078
You look so funny.
173
00:14:51,641 --> 00:14:53,802
Oh, the likeness is incredible.
174
00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:55,758
I was able to get
most of the parts
175
00:14:55,853 --> 00:14:57,935
from the Sears catalogue.
176
00:14:58,022 --> 00:14:59,291
And you really think
it will make it to
177
00:14:59,315 --> 00:15:01,055
the outer reaches of
the solar system?
178
00:15:01,150 --> 00:15:02,890
It's got to.
179
00:15:02,985 --> 00:15:06,398
It's the last hope humanity has.
180
00:15:06,489 --> 00:15:09,071
Flesh... Dale...
181
00:15:09,158 --> 00:15:10,944
Will you come with me?
182
00:15:11,035 --> 00:15:12,775
It will be a dangerous trip,
183
00:15:12,870 --> 00:15:15,657
and I don't know what we're
likely to encounter out there,
184
00:15:15,748 --> 00:15:17,739
but someone has
got to save the earth
185
00:15:17,834 --> 00:15:20,291
from the treacherous
clutches of that evil ray.
186
00:15:23,548 --> 00:15:24,708
What do you think, Dale?
187
00:15:24,799 --> 00:15:27,085
Flesh, let's do it.
188
00:15:27,176 --> 00:15:29,087
Sure, why not,
we'll give it a try.
189
00:15:29,178 --> 00:15:30,509
Wonderful!
190
00:15:30,596 --> 00:15:32,803
The planet's orbit will
bring it closest to the earth
191
00:15:32,890 --> 00:15:35,176
in approximately...
192
00:15:35,268 --> 00:15:36,849
Six minutes!
193
00:15:36,936 --> 00:15:38,517
And there's much
work to be done.
194
00:15:38,604 --> 00:15:40,185
Come, follow me.
195
00:15:56,038 --> 00:15:57,744
Where do you want these, Doc?
196
00:15:57,832 --> 00:16:00,244
Right over there
Flesh, storage bin C.
197
00:16:31,657 --> 00:16:33,113
What's this gizmo do, Doc?
198
00:16:33,201 --> 00:16:35,487
Don't touch that dial!
199
00:16:35,578 --> 00:16:38,695
I had an assistant once
who touched that dial.
200
00:16:38,789 --> 00:16:40,780
Touch that dial.
201
00:16:47,215 --> 00:16:49,046
Gee Doc, you really
got a lot of neat stuff.
202
00:16:49,133 --> 00:16:50,777
Did it take you a long time
to put it all together?
203
00:16:50,801 --> 00:16:53,793
Don't bother me now,
Flesh, it's almost ready.
204
00:16:53,888 --> 00:16:55,844
Get the door.
205
00:17:00,102 --> 00:17:02,138
Which button, Doc?
206
00:17:02,230 --> 00:17:06,098
That one.
207
00:17:15,743 --> 00:17:18,951
Ignition.
208
00:17:19,038 --> 00:17:20,494
- Ready, Dale?
- Ready, Flesh.
209
00:17:20,581 --> 00:17:23,163
All right, hang on.
We're taking off.
210
00:17:26,546 --> 00:17:28,502
Fire rocket one.
211
00:17:42,603 --> 00:17:44,594
Fire rocket two.
212
00:18:14,093 --> 00:18:15,879
Hang on now,
213
00:18:15,970 --> 00:18:18,211
we're going through
the moronosphere.
214
00:19:12,318 --> 00:19:14,900
Look, Dale!
215
00:19:14,987 --> 00:19:16,818
The moon!
216
00:19:16,906 --> 00:19:18,396
The earth!
217
00:19:18,491 --> 00:19:20,447
Oh, it's beautiful.
218
00:19:25,915 --> 00:19:29,078
Wow! I can see the Great Lakes!
219
00:19:29,168 --> 00:19:31,625
There's lake Ontario,
lake Michigan,
220
00:19:31,712 --> 00:19:33,373
lake superior...
221
00:19:33,464 --> 00:19:34,499
What is it, Dale?
222
00:19:34,590 --> 00:19:35,776
The sex ray,
we're heading right for it,
223
00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:37,415
change course quick!
224
00:19:38,928 --> 00:19:41,920
It's... it's jammed, Flesh,
I can't move it!
225
00:19:42,014 --> 00:19:44,551
Let me try!
226
00:20:52,585 --> 00:20:54,104
Another episode like
that, and I'll be ready
227
00:20:54,128 --> 00:20:55,664
for the old folk's home.
228
00:21:08,100 --> 00:21:11,934
Hey Doc, what sort of planet
does it look like to you?
229
00:21:12,021 --> 00:21:14,057
Definitely inhabited, Flesh.
230
00:21:14,148 --> 00:21:16,230
No natural force could
have affected us
231
00:21:16,317 --> 00:21:18,808
the way that sex ray did.
232
00:21:18,903 --> 00:21:21,269
And look at those green
areas over there...
233
00:21:21,363 --> 00:21:23,900
It's probably forest
or jungle, I should think.
234
00:21:23,991 --> 00:21:26,448
And those are desert
areas over there.
235
00:21:26,535 --> 00:21:28,776
This planet even has
frigid polar regions,
236
00:21:28,871 --> 00:21:31,328
not unlike those of Earth.
237
00:21:31,415 --> 00:21:35,499
Let's have a closer look,
shall we.
238
00:21:41,425 --> 00:21:43,711
Hang on, we're going down.
239
00:21:53,395 --> 00:21:54,726
Forgive me, your protuberance,
240
00:21:54,814 --> 00:21:57,521
but at this moment an
alien ship approaches Porno.
241
00:21:57,608 --> 00:21:59,894
Probably the earth people.
242
00:21:59,985 --> 00:22:01,441
Bring the ship down,
243
00:22:01,529 --> 00:22:03,565
but I want the earthlings
brought to me unharmed.
244
00:22:03,656 --> 00:22:05,647
Understand?
245
00:22:05,741 --> 00:22:07,527
Yes, your protuberance.
246
00:22:32,268 --> 00:22:34,554
Not too close, look!
247
00:22:34,645 --> 00:22:36,636
Do you suppose they're friendly?
248
00:22:58,711 --> 00:23:02,124
The starboard
gammamodulator's been hit!
249
00:23:02,214 --> 00:23:04,546
- I'll fix it.
- Oh no!
250
00:23:04,633 --> 00:23:06,669
I can't control the ship, Flesh!
251
00:23:06,760 --> 00:23:10,548
- Hold on, Jerkoff!
- Do something, Flesh!
252
00:23:10,639 --> 00:23:12,379
I think we're going to crash.
253
00:23:12,474 --> 00:23:16,262
Oh! Oh, no,
what's going to happen?
254
00:23:16,353 --> 00:23:17,433
Hurry, Flesh!
255
00:23:17,521 --> 00:23:19,887
I'm hurrying, Jerkoff,
I'm hurrying!
256
00:23:19,982 --> 00:23:21,017
Save us!
257
00:23:21,108 --> 00:23:22,143
Oooooohhhhhh.
258
00:23:22,234 --> 00:23:23,519
I'm trying to!
259
00:23:23,611 --> 00:23:25,021
Hurry Flesh!
260
00:23:25,112 --> 00:23:27,023
We're in deep trouble Flesh.
261
00:23:27,114 --> 00:23:29,275
Ah, come on, Jerkoff!
262
00:23:29,366 --> 00:23:30,776
Oh, Flesh, do something!
263
00:23:30,868 --> 00:23:32,028
- Hurry!
- Dale, quick!
264
00:23:32,119 --> 00:23:33,346
Give me a Bobby pin! Come here!
265
00:23:33,370 --> 00:23:34,530
Here's one!
266
00:23:34,622 --> 00:23:37,159
Oh...
267
00:23:37,249 --> 00:23:39,490
Save us.
268
00:23:41,712 --> 00:23:43,623
Jerkoff, I think I've fixed it!
269
00:23:43,714 --> 00:23:45,545
- Oh, god!
- You're right.
270
00:23:45,633 --> 00:23:48,045
She's beginning
to respond to the controls.
271
00:23:48,135 --> 00:23:50,091
All right now, hang on.
272
00:23:50,179 --> 00:23:52,386
Hold on Dale.
273
00:23:53,682 --> 00:23:56,424
The ship's falling apart!
274
00:23:56,518 --> 00:23:58,600
- Hold on, Dale!
- I'm holding on.
275
00:23:58,687 --> 00:24:00,643
I'm taking her down.
276
00:24:32,680 --> 00:24:35,467
Dr. Jerkoff, Dr. Jerkoff!
277
00:24:35,557 --> 00:24:37,343
Are you all right?
278
00:24:37,434 --> 00:24:40,141
Oh, Flesh. I think so.
279
00:24:40,229 --> 00:24:43,562
Is the ship badly
damaged, Flesh?
280
00:24:43,649 --> 00:24:45,293
I don't know, let's go
outside and have a look.
281
00:24:45,317 --> 00:24:47,558
Yes.
282
00:24:47,653 --> 00:24:49,314
Oh, Dale.
283
00:24:49,405 --> 00:24:52,693
Just a moment, I think
I have something here.
284
00:24:52,783 --> 00:24:54,739
For, uh... yes.
285
00:24:58,163 --> 00:25:00,825
It was my mother's.
She was buried in it.
286
00:25:16,348 --> 00:25:20,432
Good, there's oxygen
on this planet.
287
00:25:20,519 --> 00:25:23,181
This is the strangest
place I've ever seen.
288
00:25:23,272 --> 00:25:25,208
I wonder why they didn't
send the welcoming committee?
289
00:25:25,232 --> 00:25:27,223
They did, look!
290
00:25:29,069 --> 00:25:30,730
Quick, into that cave!
291
00:25:34,742 --> 00:25:37,575
Sist and decease!
292
00:25:51,300 --> 00:25:53,256
Quick, in here!
293
00:25:58,766 --> 00:26:02,350
Hep, hep, hep.
294
00:26:02,436 --> 00:26:06,054
Hep, hep, hep.
295
00:26:06,148 --> 00:26:09,686
Left, left, left.
296
00:26:09,777 --> 00:26:11,108
You men search over there.
297
00:26:11,195 --> 00:26:13,060
Left, left, left...
298
00:26:19,870 --> 00:26:21,326
They'll be coming back.
299
00:26:21,413 --> 00:26:23,654
Let's go this way,
maybe there's another way out.
300
00:26:45,521 --> 00:26:48,058
It's so strange in here.
301
00:26:48,148 --> 00:26:50,560
Flesh, it almost looks alive.
302
00:26:50,651 --> 00:26:53,893
What is it, Flesh?
303
00:26:53,987 --> 00:26:55,898
I'm not quite sure.
304
00:27:19,847 --> 00:27:22,714
And what unusual
formations and textures.
305
00:27:22,808 --> 00:27:25,925
Why, this is like no
rock known to science.
306
00:27:26,019 --> 00:27:27,179
It's.
307
00:27:27,271 --> 00:27:28,932
It's not hard like a rock,
308
00:27:29,022 --> 00:27:30,228
it's...
309
00:27:30,315 --> 00:27:31,771
Whoaaaaaaaaal
310
00:27:35,404 --> 00:27:37,144
great galaxies!
311
00:27:40,826 --> 00:27:42,441
What is it Doc?
312
00:27:42,536 --> 00:27:45,403
Some species of penisaurus,
I should think.
313
00:27:58,844 --> 00:28:00,380
This way!
314
00:28:22,492 --> 00:28:24,028
Jerkoff! She'd down!
315
00:28:24,119 --> 00:28:25,950
What... oh, oh!
316
00:28:27,581 --> 00:28:28,991
Better get this, Jerkoff.
317
00:28:33,170 --> 00:28:36,412
Oh, you beast, get away from me!
318
00:28:36,506 --> 00:28:38,246
You stink!
319
00:28:43,931 --> 00:28:45,091
All right, Flesh.
320
00:28:45,182 --> 00:28:46,763
Stand aside.
321
00:28:51,396 --> 00:28:53,637
Oh, no!
322
00:29:02,449 --> 00:29:06,317
Left, left, left...
323
00:29:19,633 --> 00:29:21,624
Ah, ha.
324
00:29:34,982 --> 00:29:36,893
Oh!
325
00:29:40,862 --> 00:29:43,194
Flesh!
326
00:29:43,282 --> 00:29:44,692
What was that?
327
00:29:46,034 --> 00:29:48,400
The earth people.
It came from down there.
328
00:29:48,495 --> 00:29:50,031
After them. - Run.
329
00:29:52,291 --> 00:29:53,781
Nol
330
00:29:53,875 --> 00:29:56,457
there they are.
331
00:29:59,214 --> 00:30:01,330
What?
332
00:30:05,095 --> 00:30:06,710
Take the earthlings alive.
Tie them up.
333
00:30:06,805 --> 00:30:09,512
- I got dibs on the girl.
- The blonde giant's mine.
334
00:30:09,599 --> 00:30:11,635
Leave the bearded one for me.
335
00:30:44,217 --> 00:30:45,820
Your sickness, we have
captured the earth people,
336
00:30:45,844 --> 00:30:47,630
and await your command.
337
00:30:47,721 --> 00:30:49,882
The earth people, eh?
338
00:30:52,642 --> 00:30:57,102
Bring them to me at once.
339
00:30:57,189 --> 00:30:59,475
Fetch the earth people here!
340
00:30:59,566 --> 00:31:02,649
His sickness will
seeeee theeemmmm!
341
00:31:02,736 --> 00:31:06,604
Stop shouting, you dildo.
342
00:31:36,686 --> 00:31:40,645
Why have you come
to the planet Porno?
343
00:31:40,732 --> 00:31:43,223
To destroy the terrible
sex ray that has brought
344
00:31:43,318 --> 00:31:46,526
chaos to our
beloved planet Earth.
345
00:31:46,613 --> 00:31:49,946
I should think
you'd be thanking me.
346
00:31:50,033 --> 00:31:52,900
But no matter.
347
00:31:52,994 --> 00:31:56,862
No power in the universe
can ever hope to squelch
348
00:31:56,957 --> 00:32:01,621
the infinite force
of my sex beam.
349
00:32:01,711 --> 00:32:03,952
But why must you do this thing?
350
00:32:04,047 --> 00:32:06,003
The earth is a peaceful planet
351
00:32:06,091 --> 00:32:08,082
and poses no threat to you!
352
00:32:10,512 --> 00:32:13,345
I'll tell you later.
353
00:32:16,351 --> 00:32:19,058
But, how did you get here?
354
00:32:19,146 --> 00:32:21,728
The straddle ship I constructed.
355
00:32:21,815 --> 00:32:24,181
A scientist, eh?
356
00:32:24,276 --> 00:32:27,143
I could use a brain like yours.
357
00:32:27,237 --> 00:32:28,477
Guards!
358
00:32:28,572 --> 00:32:32,156
Take him to the laboratory
and show him what to do.
359
00:32:33,368 --> 00:32:36,360
No, no, no!
360
00:32:43,295 --> 00:32:46,833
Bring the earth woman closer.
361
00:32:46,923 --> 00:32:49,380
No! No!
362
00:32:51,887 --> 00:32:55,505
By the goddess Yumi,
you are beautiful!
363
00:32:55,599 --> 00:33:00,389
My eyes have never beheld
such loveliness.
364
00:33:00,479 --> 00:33:04,142
You shall be my bride!
365
00:33:04,232 --> 00:33:05,312
Nol
366
00:33:05,400 --> 00:33:09,063
ohhhh, she is exquisite,
367
00:33:09,154 --> 00:33:13,067
she is exquisite.
368
00:33:13,158 --> 00:33:14,944
Take your filthy,
vellow hands off her!
369
00:33:16,119 --> 00:33:16,733
Don't touch her, I'll kill you!
370
00:33:16,828 --> 00:33:18,034
Silence! Get him off me!
371
00:33:18,121 --> 00:33:19,361
Take him!
372
00:33:19,456 --> 00:33:23,074
Take him to the sex depletor
and bring me his essence!
373
00:33:23,168 --> 00:33:25,500
It should add immeasurably
to the pleasure
374
00:33:25,587 --> 00:33:27,578
of our wedding night.
375
00:33:29,174 --> 00:33:30,289
Stop.
376
00:33:30,383 --> 00:33:33,341
The blonde giant
shall not be depleted.
377
00:33:33,428 --> 00:33:36,886
Amora. As queen of darkness,
378
00:33:36,973 --> 00:33:39,840
and guardian of
the sacred power pasties,
379
00:33:39,935 --> 00:33:42,267
you have the privilege
to spare him only
380
00:33:42,354 --> 00:33:45,596
if he survives
the torture I ordain.
381
00:33:46,900 --> 00:33:51,314
I sentence him to
trial by ordeal.
382
00:33:51,404 --> 00:33:53,315
So be it, then, Wang.
383
00:33:53,406 --> 00:33:56,239
But if he survives, he's mine!
384
00:33:56,326 --> 00:33:58,157
To the arena with him!
385
00:35:52,150 --> 00:35:54,732
To the depletor with him!
386
00:35:54,819 --> 00:35:58,812
He's mine, he's mine, he's mine,
387
00:35:58,907 --> 00:36:01,273
he's mine, he's mine!
388
00:36:08,249 --> 00:36:10,160
After them, you ninnies!
389
00:36:45,245 --> 00:36:48,829
Sleep now, and forget.
390
00:36:48,915 --> 00:36:51,531
Forget all.
391
00:36:51,626 --> 00:36:56,336
We shall love, and my body...
392
00:36:56,423 --> 00:36:59,961
Will be linked
forever with yours.
393
00:37:01,803 --> 00:37:07,639
When you awake, you shall
be my king of darkness.
394
00:37:57,901 --> 00:38:00,233
Oh, Gordon...
395
00:38:46,241 --> 00:38:48,527
Your protuberance, we have
spotted queen Amora's ship
396
00:38:48,618 --> 00:38:50,074
over the forest kingdom.
397
00:38:51,704 --> 00:38:55,288
Shoot them down,
and bring them to me!
398
00:38:55,375 --> 00:38:57,036
But your assholiness,
399
00:38:57,126 --> 00:38:59,367
the forest people and we
are sworn enemies.
400
00:38:59,462 --> 00:39:01,190
We could not survive
a landing in this realm.
401
00:39:01,214 --> 00:39:04,706
Are you afraid of
a few vegetables?
402
00:39:04,801 --> 00:39:07,258
I gave you my orders!
403
00:39:07,345 --> 00:39:10,007
I will be obeyed!
404
00:39:10,098 --> 00:39:13,181
Yes, degenerate one.
405
00:39:13,268 --> 00:39:15,850
Make ready for the ceremony!
406
00:39:15,937 --> 00:39:19,429
Porno shall have
a new queen tonight.
407
00:39:20,984 --> 00:39:23,100
Out of my way, dildo!
408
00:39:37,375 --> 00:39:39,832
Guard, I need your help.
409
00:39:39,919 --> 00:39:42,410
Here, hold that.
410
00:39:42,505 --> 00:39:45,463
This, hold that too...
411
00:39:45,550 --> 00:39:48,292
And this also, please...
412
00:39:48,386 --> 00:39:50,297
And just one more thing,
413
00:39:50,388 --> 00:39:52,754
that's it.
414
00:39:52,849 --> 00:39:54,760
Very good.
415
00:39:54,851 --> 00:39:56,762
Put up your hands!
416
00:40:11,534 --> 00:40:13,741
Down, please.
417
00:40:36,059 --> 00:40:37,219
Give me the keys.
418
00:41:13,096 --> 00:41:15,883
Oh, come in me!
419
00:41:15,974 --> 00:41:18,465
Damn, you magnificent giant.
420
00:41:19,769 --> 00:41:23,387
Come, come, come!
421
00:41:23,481 --> 00:41:26,473
And bind us forever in darkness.
422
00:43:44,914 --> 00:43:46,074
- W...
- A
423
00:43:46,165 --> 00:43:47,826
- N...
- G.
424
00:43:47,917 --> 00:43:50,750
Emperor Wang is the one for me,
425
00:43:50,837 --> 00:43:54,295
without him, the planet Porno,
426
00:43:54,382 --> 00:43:57,715
would be ever so forlorno.
427
00:44:13,442 --> 00:44:16,605
Francis Newberry.
428
00:45:06,537 --> 00:45:08,243
Jerkoff!
429
00:45:08,331 --> 00:45:11,869
Flesh! I thought you were Amora.
430
00:45:11,959 --> 00:45:13,870
This is all I could
find to wear.
431
00:45:13,961 --> 00:45:16,794
How'd you get away
from Wang's palace?
432
00:45:16,881 --> 00:45:20,624
When I discovered Wang's
plan to destroy Amora's ship,
433
00:45:20,718 --> 00:45:22,925
I overpowered the guard
with a radium gas
434
00:45:23,012 --> 00:45:25,003
I developed in Wang's
laboratory.
435
00:45:25,097 --> 00:45:27,554
And, disguising
myself as a pirate,
436
00:45:27,642 --> 00:45:30,634
followed the bomber ship and
swooped down to rescue you.
437
00:45:32,897 --> 00:45:34,853
What about Dale?
438
00:45:34,941 --> 00:45:37,808
Even at this very moment,
the ceremony which will render
439
00:45:37,902 --> 00:45:41,190
Dale and Wang man and wife
draws ever nearer
440
00:45:41,280 --> 00:45:43,441
its fateful conclusion.
441
00:45:43,532 --> 00:45:45,568
It's no use, Flesh.
442
00:45:45,660 --> 00:45:49,778
Alone, we would be
powerless to stop it.
443
00:45:49,872 --> 00:45:51,863
Flesh, look!
444
00:45:51,958 --> 00:45:54,620
I had led an evil life.
445
00:45:54,710 --> 00:45:57,167
And my thoughts have
arisen from the seeds
446
00:45:57,255 --> 00:46:01,214
of darkness and greed.
Take these stones.
447
00:46:02,551 --> 00:46:05,258
These are the source
of my power.
448
00:46:05,346 --> 00:46:07,803
And with them, destroy Wang
449
00:46:07,890 --> 00:46:11,178
and his insidious schemes.
450
00:46:11,269 --> 00:46:14,602
These, my power pasties,
451
00:46:14,689 --> 00:46:18,602
are the only force that
can stop the sex beam.
452
00:46:20,111 --> 00:46:23,353
Once accomplished, earthlings,
453
00:46:23,447 --> 00:46:27,156
my spirit shall at
last rest in peace.
454
00:46:32,873 --> 00:46:36,582
She was a noble woman, Flesh.
455
00:46:36,669 --> 00:46:39,251
Took a lot of guts.
456
00:46:39,338 --> 00:46:43,422
She was a brave scout.
457
00:46:43,509 --> 00:46:47,127
Come on, Doc, we haven't
got much time to lose.
458
00:46:47,221 --> 00:46:49,132
Wait a minute Doc,
I can't go like this,
459
00:46:49,223 --> 00:46:51,430
I feel silly.
Don't worry, Flesh.
460
00:46:51,517 --> 00:46:53,803
I think I've got something
for you in the ship.
461
00:47:13,539 --> 00:47:16,201
Come on, Jerkoff,
we've got to stop Wang!
462
00:47:18,085 --> 00:47:19,825
- All right, Flesh.
- Come on!
463
00:47:19,920 --> 00:47:21,911
Oh please.
464
00:47:23,632 --> 00:47:27,090
Left, left, left, left...
465
00:47:34,810 --> 00:47:36,641
Left...
466
00:47:36,729 --> 00:47:39,311
There they are!
467
00:47:54,246 --> 00:47:56,703
You may...
468
00:47:56,791 --> 00:47:59,498
Kisssss the bride.
469
00:47:59,585 --> 00:48:02,418
Ahhh, ha-ha...
470
00:48:02,505 --> 00:48:06,544
Come here, my little bottle cap.
471
00:48:06,634 --> 00:48:09,501
Get away from me
you slimy snail!
472
00:48:09,595 --> 00:48:10,960
Oh!
473
00:48:18,854 --> 00:48:21,186
That's all for this
rancid affair, you Turkey!
474
00:48:24,110 --> 00:48:26,396
Stop!
475
00:48:27,571 --> 00:48:28,981
The wedding's over, Wang!
476
00:48:31,659 --> 00:48:33,399
After them, you dildos!
477
00:48:40,418 --> 00:48:42,500
Amateurs!
478
00:48:44,797 --> 00:48:46,628
The pasties, Jerkoff!
479
00:48:54,473 --> 00:48:56,589
All right, Wang, where is she?
480
00:48:56,684 --> 00:48:57,969
What have you done with Dale?
481
00:48:58,060 --> 00:48:59,780
So help me if you lay
a hand on her I'll...
482
00:48:59,854 --> 00:49:02,186
You're too late, you fool!
483
00:49:02,273 --> 00:49:04,264
She was spirited away
barely a breath
484
00:49:04,358 --> 00:49:06,974
before love's first kiss.
485
00:49:07,069 --> 00:49:11,483
I have been robbed of my
beautiful virgin bride.
486
00:49:11,574 --> 00:49:13,610
Shall I give it
to him now, Flesh?
487
00:49:13,701 --> 00:49:15,783
Not now Doc,
he's been through enough.
488
00:49:31,260 --> 00:49:34,798
If you find her,
tell her I love her!
489
00:49:42,938 --> 00:49:45,395
Stop fighting me foolish
woman, I'm trying to save you!
490
00:49:45,483 --> 00:49:46,723
Halt!
491
00:49:46,817 --> 00:49:48,353
I have brought the earth girl.
492
00:49:48,444 --> 00:49:49,980
Follow me.
493
00:49:54,867 --> 00:49:57,153
No, no, where are you taking me!
494
00:49:59,872 --> 00:50:02,488
No, no, take me back to Flesh.
495
00:50:05,794 --> 00:50:08,456
I no!
496
00:50:08,547 --> 00:50:10,287
Nol
497
00:50:22,686 --> 00:50:24,517
The earth girl.
498
00:50:27,650 --> 00:50:29,891
We've been hoping you'd drop in,
499
00:50:29,985 --> 00:50:33,022
ever since we heard of your
opposition to emperor Wang.
500
00:50:35,783 --> 00:50:38,240
But, perhaps I should explain.
501
00:50:44,875 --> 00:50:46,786
Am chief Nellie.
502
00:50:46,877 --> 00:50:49,710
Commander of the vast
and powerful
503
00:50:49,797 --> 00:50:52,834
Amazon underground of Porno.
504
00:50:52,925 --> 00:50:56,292
An organization solely
devoted to the over-throw
505
00:50:56,387 --> 00:51:00,300
of Wang and his corrupt
male chauvinist regime.
506
00:51:00,391 --> 00:51:02,006
But what does that
have to do with me?
507
00:51:06,814 --> 00:51:09,772
Our spies have been
watching you closely,
508
00:51:09,858 --> 00:51:13,316
because of your determined
and flagrant dislike
509
00:51:13,404 --> 00:51:16,817
of Wang and his cohorts...
510
00:51:16,907 --> 00:51:19,614
We, uh, have decided to
initiate you into our ranks.
511
00:51:23,455 --> 00:51:26,197
But I want the earthman,
Flesh Gordon.
512
00:51:26,292 --> 00:51:29,659
You will be of more
use here with us.
513
00:51:29,753 --> 00:51:31,994
No! No...
514
00:51:45,269 --> 00:51:47,681
Wait, what are you doing?
515
00:51:47,771 --> 00:51:49,011
I've gotta get back to Flesh!
516
00:52:13,922 --> 00:52:16,880
Ranks in formation,
for selection inspection.
517
00:52:35,778 --> 00:52:37,643
Mmm, very nice face,
very pretty.
518
00:52:41,241 --> 00:52:43,698
Nice nipple.
Ohhhh, yes, mmm-mmmbh...
519
00:52:46,038 --> 00:52:50,156
Pretty hair, nice, shiny...
520
00:52:50,250 --> 00:52:53,333
What are you doing
to your nipples, zerig?
521
00:52:53,420 --> 00:52:56,332
They look very nice. Very nice.
522
00:52:56,423 --> 00:52:59,915
Face is nice...
Turn around, let's see.
523
00:53:00,010 --> 00:53:01,375
Bend over, let's see.
524
00:53:01,470 --> 00:53:03,131
Oh, yeah, real nice.
525
00:53:03,222 --> 00:53:05,588
Very nice. Nice bottom.
526
00:53:09,645 --> 00:53:11,931
Mmmm, no! No good.
527
00:53:12,022 --> 00:53:14,183
Step forward.
528
00:53:16,735 --> 00:53:19,772
Oh excellent, excellent,
prepare yourself, you'll do.
529
00:53:26,203 --> 00:53:29,195
No, no! Oh!
530
00:53:53,063 --> 00:53:55,099
Flesh! Flesh!
531
00:53:55,190 --> 00:53:58,023
No! Get away!
532
00:53:58,110 --> 00:54:01,273
Flesh! No! No!
533
00:54:04,992 --> 00:54:07,825
Get away! Get away!
534
00:54:10,539 --> 00:54:12,780
Flesh!
535
00:54:12,875 --> 00:54:14,536
Flesh! Flesh!
536
00:54:14,626 --> 00:54:16,491
Flesh! Nol
537
00:54:16,587 --> 00:54:17,622
Jerkoff.
538
00:54:17,713 --> 00:54:19,399
I heard Dale... she's in
some sort of trouble.
539
00:54:19,423 --> 00:54:21,317
Jerkoff, I hear Dale...
She's in some sort of trouble.
540
00:54:21,341 --> 00:54:23,548
Dale!
541
00:54:23,635 --> 00:54:27,048
Get away! Get away!
542
00:54:30,058 --> 00:54:32,174
We're in some sort of pit, Doc.
543
00:55:34,873 --> 00:55:35,783
Here let me try.
544
00:55:35,874 --> 00:55:37,580
Try to get us outta here.
545
00:55:44,132 --> 00:55:45,747
Didn't work.
546
00:55:45,843 --> 00:55:47,629
Stand back, Flesh.
547
00:55:56,019 --> 00:55:58,556
Come on, Doc.
548
00:56:13,036 --> 00:56:14,401
There she is, Doc.
549
00:56:14,496 --> 00:56:16,407
Good lord, Flesh, they're dykes!
550
00:56:16,498 --> 00:56:18,910
Dykes!
551
00:56:23,005 --> 00:56:25,246
Don't any of you
try anything now.
552
00:56:25,340 --> 00:56:27,420
I've got the power pasties and
I know how to use 'em.
553
00:56:29,970 --> 00:56:31,801
You, get back there
with the others.
554
00:56:33,140 --> 00:56:34,846
I know your kind.
555
00:56:36,435 --> 00:56:38,096
Now what were you
doing down here?
556
00:56:38,186 --> 00:56:39,926
What were you doing with Dale?
557
00:56:41,440 --> 00:56:43,226
Get back there!
558
00:56:52,409 --> 00:56:54,274
Jerkoff!
559
00:57:27,110 --> 00:57:29,522
No, no! You might hit Flesh.
560
00:59:37,699 --> 00:59:39,485
What happened to it, Flesh?
561
00:59:42,788 --> 00:59:44,403
An arrow.
562
00:59:44,498 --> 00:59:46,534
A poison tipped arrow, in fact.
563
00:59:50,504 --> 00:59:54,088
Whoever you are,
we owe you our lives.
564
00:59:54,174 --> 00:59:55,960
Nonsense.
565
00:59:56,051 --> 00:59:58,133
I was happy to
do it, for you see...
566
00:59:58,220 --> 00:59:59,926
I'm prince Precious,
567
01:00:00,013 --> 01:00:02,470
rightful heir to
the throne of Porno.
568
01:00:02,557 --> 01:00:05,469
Years ago this planet
was a veritable paradise,
569
01:00:05,560 --> 01:00:07,972
but Wang, a maniacal botanist,
570
01:00:08,063 --> 01:00:11,055
whose organ was devoured
by a crazed penis flytrap,
571
01:00:11,149 --> 01:00:14,016
could not tolerate the existence
of so much pleasure.
572
01:00:14,111 --> 01:00:16,898
And so, banding together
an army of the impotent
573
01:00:16,988 --> 01:00:19,479
and frustrated,
and armed with a small,
574
01:00:19,574 --> 01:00:21,360
but effective, sex ray,
575
01:00:21,451 --> 01:00:24,067
plunged my palace
into carnal chaos,
576
01:00:24,162 --> 01:00:27,325
and took it over, exiling me,
577
01:00:27,415 --> 01:00:29,622
and my few advisors,
to what is now known as
578
01:00:29,709 --> 01:00:31,415
the forest kingdom.
579
01:00:31,503 --> 01:00:33,869
Then you feel that, together,
580
01:00:33,964 --> 01:00:36,831
we might put an end
to Wang's savage reign.
581
01:00:36,925 --> 01:00:40,383
And that our new cosmic
friendship might inspire
582
01:00:40,470 --> 01:00:43,257
an everlasting bond
of kindness and love
583
01:00:43,348 --> 01:00:45,555
between the peoples
of this planet and yours.
584
01:00:51,064 --> 01:00:53,976
If there's anything
I can ever do to repay you.
585
01:02:02,510 --> 01:02:05,627
Stay a while, Flesh,
the fun's just beginning.
586
01:02:05,722 --> 01:02:07,678
I'd like to, Precious,
but I can't.
587
01:02:07,766 --> 01:02:09,757
I'd better get back to the lab
with doctor Jerkoff
588
01:02:09,851 --> 01:02:11,762
and help him work on
the destructo beam.
589
01:02:11,853 --> 01:02:13,969
Come, I'll go with you.
590
01:02:52,519 --> 01:02:54,555
Oh, Flesh, I was just
going to send for you.
591
01:02:58,817 --> 01:03:00,523
What happened, Doc?
592
01:03:00,610 --> 01:03:02,350
Any scientist could
tell you, Flesh.
593
01:03:06,032 --> 01:03:08,694
Now, the beam is finished
and ready to be tested.
594
01:03:08,785 --> 01:03:10,776
Now, if my calculations
are correct,
595
01:03:10,870 --> 01:03:14,203
one blast from my device
and Wang's odious sex ray
596
01:03:14,291 --> 01:03:16,873
will be utterly smashed
to smithereens.
597
01:03:16,960 --> 01:03:18,575
Well, how does it work, Doc?
598
01:03:18,670 --> 01:03:19,910
I'll show you.
599
01:03:20,005 --> 01:03:22,712
First, we have to attach
the power pasties.
600
01:03:22,799 --> 01:03:24,960
Let me help you.
601
01:03:27,971 --> 01:03:30,838
Now, over there is a scale
model of Wang's sex ray,
602
01:03:30,932 --> 01:03:33,344
surrounded by an
electromagnesium force field
603
01:03:33,435 --> 01:03:35,551
so impervious,
that were it not for
604
01:03:35,645 --> 01:03:37,931
the energy of queen Amora's
power pasties,
605
01:03:38,023 --> 01:03:40,605
we could never hope
to destroy it.
606
01:03:40,692 --> 01:03:44,526
Now, stand back.
607
01:03:44,612 --> 01:03:47,604
Watch this.
608
01:03:50,118 --> 01:03:52,074
- Wow!
- Fantastic, doctor.
609
01:03:52,162 --> 01:03:53,197
That's incredible.
610
01:03:53,288 --> 01:03:55,153
Congratulations. Congratulation.
611
01:03:55,248 --> 01:03:56,863
It works, Jerkoff.
612
01:03:56,958 --> 01:03:58,448
It's the eighth
wonder of the world.
613
01:03:58,543 --> 01:03:59,703
I knew it would.
614
01:03:59,794 --> 01:04:02,957
Then all we have to do
is mount it in a ship.
615
01:04:03,048 --> 01:04:05,915
And blow Wang's
evil ray to atoms.
616
01:04:06,009 --> 01:04:07,840
Then we can go home,
can't we, Flesh?
617
01:04:07,927 --> 01:04:09,838
With good luck,
and good weather, Dale,
618
01:04:09,929 --> 01:04:11,590
we'll be home tomorrow night.
619
01:04:11,681 --> 01:04:13,137
Oh, Flesh.
620
01:04:13,224 --> 01:04:15,215
- Let me prepare the ship.
- Yes, yes.
621
01:04:15,310 --> 01:04:17,096
To the ship!
622
01:04:34,412 --> 01:04:37,199
Your aloneness, the earthmen
have invented a gun,
623
01:04:37,290 --> 01:04:39,622
with which they plan
to destroy our sex ray.
624
01:04:39,709 --> 01:04:41,074
Ah!
625
01:04:41,169 --> 01:04:43,285
I have had enough
of these meddlers!
626
01:04:43,380 --> 01:04:45,712
They have interfered with
the affairs of my regime
627
01:04:45,799 --> 01:04:47,630
for the very last time,
628
01:04:47,717 --> 01:04:51,175
and they will be stopped.
629
01:04:54,015 --> 01:04:57,348
Now, listen carefully.
630
01:05:16,454 --> 01:05:18,536
Doc, we're getting close
to Wang's palace.
631
01:05:18,623 --> 01:05:21,615
Just one more minute,
Flesh, I'm almost ready.
632
01:05:24,170 --> 01:05:26,252
Careful!
633
01:05:26,339 --> 01:05:29,046
This device has a delicate
electromagnetic balance.
634
01:05:29,134 --> 01:05:31,500
Any disturbance can
blow us all to atoms!
635
01:05:33,930 --> 01:05:36,342
There it is, Jerkoff,
the sex ray.
636
01:05:41,938 --> 01:05:44,850
It's the forest flyer,
sound the alarm!
637
01:05:48,903 --> 01:05:51,019
They've spotted us,
Jerkoff, get ready.
638
01:05:57,412 --> 01:05:58,993
Now!
639
01:06:01,916 --> 01:06:03,952
Stop him!
640
01:06:04,043 --> 01:06:05,043
He...
641
01:06:06,963 --> 01:06:09,329
Get him. My pasties!
642
01:06:14,262 --> 01:06:16,218
Pull the ship up, quick!
643
01:06:18,516 --> 01:06:20,802
- It's stuck!
- Let me give it a try.
644
01:06:27,817 --> 01:06:29,978
Flesh, we're doomed!
645
01:06:50,673 --> 01:06:52,914
We've stopped falling,
what's happened?
646
01:06:53,009 --> 01:06:55,170
We've fallen into
some sort of magnetic beam.
647
01:06:55,261 --> 01:06:57,126
It's drawing us safely down.
648
01:06:57,222 --> 01:06:59,554
But why would Wang
want to save us?
649
01:06:59,641 --> 01:07:01,427
He doesn't! Look!
650
01:08:17,260 --> 01:08:21,173
When last seen, our hapless
heroes were about to be crunched
651
01:08:21,264 --> 01:08:25,052
into oblivion by the perverted
Wang's chomping jaws.
652
01:08:25,143 --> 01:08:27,634
Is there no justice on Porno?
653
01:08:33,192 --> 01:08:35,183
Dale, this is yours.
654
01:08:38,865 --> 01:08:41,072
Dr. Jerkoff.
655
01:08:44,037 --> 01:08:46,699
Here's one for you, Flesh.
656
01:08:54,380 --> 01:08:57,622
Dale, are you all right?
657
01:08:57,717 --> 01:09:01,209
I'm all right, Flesh.
658
01:09:01,304 --> 01:09:04,762
It's really a shame
about that other guy,
659
01:09:04,849 --> 01:09:07,636
stealing your pasties like that,
660
01:09:07,727 --> 01:09:09,968
and he was my best boy.
661
01:09:10,063 --> 01:09:13,521
What ever happened
to the other fellow?
662
01:09:13,608 --> 01:09:17,146
We only had four parachutes.
663
01:09:17,236 --> 01:09:19,397
Oh.
664
01:09:38,800 --> 01:09:40,461
Come on, we've
got to get to Wang.
665
01:09:50,395 --> 01:09:52,977
Come on, Flesh, let's go!
Hurry up!
666
01:10:11,874 --> 01:10:13,830
There he goes, after him.
667
01:11:02,800 --> 01:11:06,634
Your struggles are useless!
668
01:11:06,721 --> 01:11:10,714
You are trapped
and you shall not live!
669
01:11:10,808 --> 01:11:13,720
I have tolerated your feeble
attempts to thwart me
670
01:11:13,811 --> 01:11:16,803
for the very last time!
671
01:11:16,898 --> 01:11:22,018
We have ways of dealing
with you, yankee.
672
01:11:25,239 --> 01:11:31,030
See how you like
my royal flush, earthling!
673
01:11:37,376 --> 01:11:38,832
- What is it?
- The floor!
674
01:11:45,802 --> 01:11:49,169
Oh, no.
675
01:11:57,396 --> 01:12:00,729
- There used to be one.
- That's it, earthlings.
676
01:12:00,817 --> 01:12:04,935
Goodbye, Gordon. Sweet dreams.
677
01:12:06,906 --> 01:12:09,147
Oh.
678
01:12:09,242 --> 01:12:11,107
Here it comes.
679
01:12:16,833 --> 01:12:18,869
Bye, bye!
680
01:12:20,253 --> 01:12:22,460
- Nice knowing you, Flesh.
- Yes, it was, thank you.
681
01:12:37,520 --> 01:12:40,853
♪ Flesh Gordon is dead hey ♪
682
01:12:40,940 --> 01:12:44,899
♪ Flesh Gordon is dead hey ♪
683
01:12:44,986 --> 01:12:46,942
♪ Flesh is dead ♪
684
01:12:47,029 --> 01:12:48,860
♪ Gordon is dead ♪
685
01:12:48,948 --> 01:12:52,440
♪ Flesh Gordon is dead ♪
686
01:12:52,535 --> 01:12:55,368
♪ baby Flesh Gordon is dead ♪
687
01:13:05,131 --> 01:13:08,794
♪ Flesh Gordon is dead ♪
688
01:13:08,885 --> 01:13:12,753
♪ Flesh Gordon is dead ♪
689
01:13:12,847 --> 01:13:14,712
♪ Flesh is dead ♪
690
01:13:14,807 --> 01:13:16,889
♪ Flesh is dead ♪
691
01:13:16,976 --> 01:13:20,059
♪ Flesh Gordon is dead ♪
692
01:13:20,146 --> 01:13:22,888
♪ dead dead dead dead ♪
693
01:13:35,620 --> 01:13:39,363
♪ Flesh Gordon is dead ♪
694
01:13:39,457 --> 01:13:43,700
♪ Flesh Gordon is dead ♪
695
01:13:43,794 --> 01:13:45,125
Your lowness.
696
01:13:50,343 --> 01:13:53,301
Oh-oh, great impotentate,
I have done as you commanded,
697
01:13:53,387 --> 01:13:55,924
and I brought you
the power jewels.
698
01:13:56,015 --> 01:13:58,301
Though the earthmen cannot
now destroy the sex beam,
699
01:13:58,392 --> 01:14:00,257
they're alive and loose in
the palace...
700
01:14:00,353 --> 01:14:01,593
Never mind that,
701
01:14:01,687 --> 01:14:02,915
I have dealt with them already!
702
01:14:02,939 --> 01:14:04,895
Give me the Jewel.
703
01:14:07,610 --> 01:14:12,855
Did the nasty spy
frighten my babies?
704
01:14:12,949 --> 01:14:15,315
Never mind that,
705
01:14:15,409 --> 01:14:19,322
little wangy-pangy is going
to take care of you all.
706
01:14:23,459 --> 01:14:27,919
Wangy favors you with a trinket,
707
01:14:28,005 --> 01:14:32,669
my little peanut-butter cup.
708
01:14:35,763 --> 01:14:38,049
Hmm.
709
01:14:48,025 --> 01:14:50,016
Mmm.
710
01:14:57,076 --> 01:14:59,067
What do you mean it's stuck?
711
01:14:59,161 --> 01:15:01,322
- It's stuck!
- Stuck?
712
01:15:01,414 --> 01:15:03,700
What do you mean, stuck?
713
01:15:03,791 --> 01:15:05,452
Stop!
714
01:15:05,543 --> 01:15:07,408
. Flesh Gordon!
715
01:15:12,008 --> 01:15:14,499
The Jewel, Wang!
The Jewel, where is it?
716
01:15:14,593 --> 01:15:15,673
Gimme that Jewel,
717
01:15:15,761 --> 01:15:17,531
or so help me I'll finish
you right here and now!
718
01:15:17,555 --> 01:15:18,920
Let me have him, Flesh.
719
01:15:19,015 --> 01:15:21,552
I've been waiting for this
moment for a long time.
720
01:15:21,642 --> 01:15:23,678
The Jewel, Wang, where is it?
721
01:15:23,769 --> 01:15:25,805
You guess!
722
01:15:33,571 --> 01:15:36,984
- Am I gettin' warm?
- Oh, very warm.
723
01:15:37,074 --> 01:15:39,986
- Is it this, Flesh?
- No, that's not it.
724
01:15:59,764 --> 01:16:02,471
Give me that Jewel.
725
01:16:04,769 --> 01:16:06,680
Give me that Jewel
this minute, do ya hear?
726
01:16:06,771 --> 01:16:08,386
Ah, I can't, it's stuck.
727
01:16:08,481 --> 01:16:10,096
What do you mean, it's stuck?
728
01:16:10,191 --> 01:16:11,772
Gimme that Jewel!
729
01:16:13,402 --> 01:16:14,687
I can't!
730
01:16:14,779 --> 01:16:17,987
Idiot, you thought you
could defy me,
731
01:16:18,074 --> 01:16:21,658
but you have yet to tangle
with my rapist robots.
732
01:16:31,545 --> 01:16:33,501
It's stuck!
733
01:16:59,198 --> 01:17:02,315
Oh, I wish I had
a picture of this.
734
01:17:02,409 --> 01:17:04,320
Give me that Jewel
this minute, do ya hear?
735
01:17:06,163 --> 01:17:09,621
Flesh!
736
01:17:20,219 --> 01:17:23,336
What-a-way to go, eh, earthman?
737
01:17:23,430 --> 01:17:27,264
In a flash
of mechanical ecstasy.
738
01:17:31,730 --> 01:17:34,142
Flesh! Flesh!
739
01:17:34,233 --> 01:17:37,600
Flesh! Flesh!
740
01:17:37,695 --> 01:17:38,935
Flesh!
741
01:17:42,533 --> 01:17:45,320
No! Nol
742
01:17:59,884 --> 01:18:02,170
Fools!
743
01:18:02,261 --> 01:18:04,172
Idiots!
744
01:18:06,765 --> 01:18:09,097
What do you think you're doing?
745
01:18:09,185 --> 01:18:11,551
What-a-way to go, hey, Wang?
746
01:18:14,481 --> 01:18:17,939
You have not heard
the last of Wang.
747
01:18:31,874 --> 01:18:34,081
Flesh, come on,
we can't let Wang get away.
748
01:18:34,168 --> 01:18:35,578
Never mind Wang now,
749
01:18:35,669 --> 01:18:37,705
we have to get the Jewel
and save the earth.
750
01:18:37,796 --> 01:18:39,707
That reminds me...
751
01:18:47,014 --> 01:18:48,345
Oh, I can't, I can't!
752
01:18:48,432 --> 01:18:50,923
Spit it out!
753
01:18:51,018 --> 01:18:53,760
It's stuck!
754
01:19:20,422 --> 01:19:25,633
A plague, a pox,
a pestilence of storm!
755
01:19:25,719 --> 01:19:29,962
Anything, anything,
oh, great one!
756
01:19:30,057 --> 01:19:34,391
The fate of all evil
rests in your hands!
757
01:19:34,478 --> 01:19:40,223
Arise, arise, and destroy
your enemies,
758
01:19:40,317 --> 01:19:44,856
and avenge the glorious
cause of perversion!
759
01:20:02,006 --> 01:20:06,215
Ooh, boy.
760
01:20:06,302 --> 01:20:10,170
I just love murder.
761
01:20:10,264 --> 01:20:12,380
Out of my way, you little fart.
762
01:20:23,485 --> 01:20:25,476
A monster's work is never done.
763
01:20:28,240 --> 01:20:30,071
Oh.
764
01:20:32,411 --> 01:20:35,403
Oh, yeah. Mmm-mmm_
765
01:20:44,465 --> 01:20:48,128
Oh, fuck.
766
01:20:50,554 --> 01:20:54,172
Stop, look...
767
01:20:54,266 --> 01:20:57,929
Listen.
768
01:20:58,020 --> 01:21:01,729
Too late now,
my imbecilic siblings!
769
01:21:01,815 --> 01:21:05,228
The sex ray is too
good for your Earth!
770
01:21:05,319 --> 01:21:07,981
I'm going to burn
your fucking planet
771
01:21:08,072 --> 01:21:10,438
to a fucking crisp!
772
01:21:14,036 --> 01:21:15,572
Watch your back!
773
01:21:17,164 --> 01:21:19,155
Well...
774
01:21:19,249 --> 01:21:21,205
Mmm.
775
01:21:22,711 --> 01:21:24,201
How delightful.
776
01:21:30,469 --> 01:21:32,005
He's got Dale!
777
01:21:32,096 --> 01:21:35,054
Quick Jerkoff, use
the destructo beam to kill him!
778
01:21:38,852 --> 01:21:41,764
I dare not, at this
distance there's too great
779
01:21:41,855 --> 01:21:43,891
a risk of hitting Dale.
780
01:21:43,982 --> 01:21:46,519
If only we could get closer.
781
01:21:46,610 --> 01:21:49,852
Wait a minute, we'll
use Wang's rocket ship.
782
01:21:49,947 --> 01:21:51,903
Come on.
783
01:21:55,202 --> 01:21:57,363
Ah, you and I are going
to be good friends.
784
01:21:57,454 --> 01:21:59,410
Coochie.
785
01:22:01,625 --> 01:22:04,458
And...
786
01:22:04,545 --> 01:22:06,536
Wow.
787
01:22:12,177 --> 01:22:15,635
Well, this is the tower
of murder,
788
01:22:15,722 --> 01:22:17,883
and it's where I hang out.
789
01:22:23,772 --> 01:22:25,808
Oh, oh, no.
790
01:22:30,028 --> 01:22:32,314
Are you having a good time?
791
01:22:39,329 --> 01:22:41,194
Come on, Jerkoff.
792
01:22:43,667 --> 01:22:45,282
Ooh, Flesh!
793
01:22:45,377 --> 01:22:47,493
Flesh, save me.
794
01:22:47,588 --> 01:22:49,419
God, it's high.
795
01:22:53,969 --> 01:22:56,005
Hmm.
796
01:23:01,393 --> 01:23:03,304
Yes, you're incredible.
797
01:23:03,395 --> 01:23:05,727
I wonder how
you'd look in black...
798
01:23:05,814 --> 01:23:09,557
Nylons.
799
01:23:09,651 --> 01:23:14,645
What do you think of that, hmm?
800
01:23:14,740 --> 01:23:17,106
Hmm? Huh?
801
01:23:22,623 --> 01:23:25,160
Oh...
802
01:23:25,250 --> 01:23:28,993
Hmm-hmm.
803
01:23:32,758 --> 01:23:35,340
Hmm-hmm.
804
01:23:42,768 --> 01:23:47,683
I just want
to look at your tits.
805
01:23:50,275 --> 01:23:52,311
There she is, Doc.
806
01:24:05,207 --> 01:24:07,368
Hey, they're getting serious.
807
01:24:10,504 --> 01:24:11,869
Okay, Doc, get ready.
808
01:24:11,964 --> 01:24:14,046
Ready, Flesh.
809
01:24:14,132 --> 01:24:15,497
Fire!
810
01:24:19,763 --> 01:24:21,094
Doc, you missed!
811
01:24:21,181 --> 01:24:23,092
I know I missed. I'll get him.
812
01:24:25,060 --> 01:24:27,927
Well, I never.
813
01:24:38,991 --> 01:24:41,107
Up yours, Gordon.
814
01:24:46,456 --> 01:24:52,122
Oh, wow, uhf, pain.
815
01:24:53,839 --> 01:24:57,002
And now, you get...
816
01:24:57,092 --> 01:24:59,378
Yours.
817
01:25:01,263 --> 01:25:03,345
Get away.
818
01:25:10,981 --> 01:25:13,393
My ass.
819
01:25:21,283 --> 01:25:23,569
My ass.
820
01:25:33,545 --> 01:25:37,163
Pain, humiliation. Hemorrhoids.
821
01:25:47,100 --> 01:25:50,433
- Dale, are you all right?
- Oh, Flesh.
822
01:25:50,520 --> 01:25:53,512
Gordon.
823
01:26:03,825 --> 01:26:06,157
Let's do it fast, Flesh!
824
01:26:06,244 --> 01:26:09,281
For this you'll pay.
825
01:26:09,373 --> 01:26:12,957
No one burns my ass
and lives to get laid.
826
01:26:16,254 --> 01:26:17,835
Oh, shit!
827
01:28:05,739 --> 01:28:08,481
- Goodbye, Jerkoff.
- Goodbye, prince.
828
01:28:08,575 --> 01:28:10,406
And Dale.
829
01:28:12,704 --> 01:28:14,319
- Goodbye Flesh.
- Precious.
830
01:28:14,414 --> 01:28:15,620
We'll miss you around here.
831
01:28:15,707 --> 01:28:17,185
Don't worry, Precious,
I'll be back,
832
01:28:17,209 --> 01:28:19,074
and next time it'll
be a friendly visit.
833
01:28:19,169 --> 01:28:22,627
With Wang out of the way and
his terrible regime dispersed,
834
01:28:22,714 --> 01:28:25,751
the universe is once again safe
for democracy and freedom,
835
01:28:25,842 --> 01:28:27,457
and the right
of all due happiness,
836
01:28:27,552 --> 01:28:29,042
each according
to his own personal
837
01:28:29,137 --> 01:28:31,093
religious convictions.
838
01:28:37,479 --> 01:28:39,765
Goodbye, Flesh.
839
01:28:39,856 --> 01:28:41,596
- Goodbye.
- Goodbye.
840
01:28:41,691 --> 01:28:42,811
- Bye.
- Have a safe journey.
841
01:28:42,859 --> 01:28:43,939
- It's been grand.
- Yes.
842
01:28:44,027 --> 01:28:45,267
We'll see you. Goodbye.
843
01:28:45,362 --> 01:28:46,226
Goodbye, Precious.
844
01:28:46,321 --> 01:28:47,231
Be sure and write us.
845
01:28:47,322 --> 01:28:48,186
Take care, Precious.
846
01:28:48,281 --> 01:28:49,145
- Okay, see ya.
- Be good.
847
01:28:49,241 --> 01:28:50,606
- Bye now.
- So long.
848
01:28:50,700 --> 01:28:52,531
Adios.
849
01:29:13,348 --> 01:29:15,634
There she is, the earth.
850
01:29:26,736 --> 01:29:29,148
Oh, Flesh, there's no
place like home.
57960
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