All language subtitles for Coincoin.Et.Les.Zinhumains.S01E03.FRENCH.720p.BluRay.DTS.x264-NEO_eng

COINCOIN AND THE ALIENS
EPISODE 3 GLUE, GLUE, GLUE!!!

POLICE

Hey. Ho.

Will you stop playing cowboys?

I'm really sick of it.

Was funny the first couple of times,
but come on, six times?

No need to pout, right?

Right? On three wheels? Or two?

Or one?

Speaking of the devil...

What is it?

National police.

Is this The Block?

Yeah.

Sticking posters is regulated.

-I know.
-We saw people doing it yesterday,

right in town.

So?

Well, sticking posters is regulated.

It's the rules.

What's going on, Ny?

Oh, wow!

Right? Incredible!

What is it?

National police.

Sticking posters is regulated.

Yeah.

We saw people doing it yesterday,
right in town.

-So?
-Well, sticking posters is regulated.

Right? The rules are the rules.

What is it?

What? He's your twin?

Can't you tell?

That's funny, right?

-What is it?
-Well, national police.

Carpentier, I already said it, right?

-Yeah.
-Sticking posters is regulated.

-It's the rules after all.
-What is it?

Sticking posters is regulated.

So?

Well, sticking posters is regulated.

The rules are the rules.

What is it?

Well, you know for these posters,

some guys stuck them,
and it's against the rules.

What is it?

National police.

Is your brother on repeat or something?

Right? Carpentier?

So it's rogue posting?

Yeah, it's rogue posting.

Well, we don't do that.

The Block follows the rules.

It's not one of ours.

Bye.

Hey! Right...

They don't do rogue posting,
it's not them.

Well, no.

Okay, let's go.

There's something weird here, Carpentier.

These brothers.

Right?

They look identical.

Well, they are twins...

Nope.

They're not twins, Carpentier.

They're clowns.

Clowns?

Yep, they are.

Exactly, clowns.

Clones.

-Clowns?
-Yep, yep.

Identical clowns, Carpentier.

You mean clones, Chief.

No, perfectly similar clowns.

Totally crazy!

-So?
-So I pick up on those things.

What the hell is this?

Carpentier.

Right. Look at that!

The youth today!

Hey!

Hey. Come over here! Come on, here.

Hey!

Hey, what are you kids doing?

Are you with The Block?

Is that your rig?

Yes sir, it's mine.

Did you stick posters
with your friend yesterday morning?

Is there a problem with the kids?

I told you, no rogue posting here.

All right, I got it, sir.

That's what your brother told me.

Chief, how did you know it was
the brother and not the other?

The one who told us about the posters.

-You know how?
-No.

-It was one or the other, right?
-Well, yes.

I said the opposite to the one I thought.

But why?

I saw he didn't have the same arms.

So I thought it was the other one.

So I bet it all, right?

Preach falsehood to know the truth.

There, genius.

If you say so, Chief.

Yeah.

That's not telling us
who did the rogue posting.

That's why we came, right?

Phone.

Oh.

Hello, Mr. Prosecutor.

Wait, what? Again?

At the Blanc-Nez. On the column. No.

No. No.

No.

Oh, sorry, Mr. Prosecutor.

We'll be right there.

Hello, Ladies and Gentlemen.

Dupuy. Hello.

Hello.

-Chief.
-How are you, Mr. Prosecutor?

Thank you for coming.

Look at this.

We won't be able

to keep people

away from it.

First, it's everywhere.

Second, it's not from here.

When will it end?

There.

We're not making any progress.

How is that possible?

It's impossible?

Chief,

this is Imam Mounir.

Hello.

Carpentier?

Hello.

We are so helpless, Mr. Prosecutor.

We are humble, Priest.

We're not just going to wait here

and do nothing.

It's true, evil, all of it, it's true.

Scientists will explain this.

-Right, Doctor?
-Yes, I analyzed it all...

I did, and it's, well, everywhere.

On the cows. Always. Everywhere.

That's not helping.
Especially not our national police.

Right, Van der Weyden?

Yes, Mr. Prosecutor.

The national police is here.

Right. With Carpentier,
we're looking.

You're looking, your're looking.
What have you found?

Right now, just glue.

Glue, glue, glue.

And glue. There.

I analyzed it.

I analyzed all the samples

I found

and I did a comparison

and they're the same.

They were aliens.

Right, right, but Chief,

is it really an alien attack or not?

It's hard to say, Mr. Prosecutor.
Right?

Right? Carpentier?

We have not yet understood

the attacking process, right?

That's right.

How do they invade us?

How do they throw glue?

Looks like chewed up tobacco.

For the report.

How invading they are.

At any rate, Chief,

this case is super secret.

Super secret.

Oh, yeah.

Absolutely, Mr. Prosecutor. Yep.

Absolutely, right, Carpentier?

Van der Weyden,

get to work.

Right away, Mr. Prosecutor.

Carpentier, let's go.

Make way.

National police.

What are you doing, Chief?

Nothing.

Carpentier, get out of this parking lot

on two wheels, and fast.

You want to?

Yeah, yeah.

It will show them what the Police can do.

All of them up there.

Oh, Jesus. Look at this,
this is so beautiful!

How beautiful!

Look at that, two wheels, how beautiful.

Keep your eyes on the road,
eyes on the road.

Man is infinitely resourceful.

What a sign, what hope.

What hope, my God.

The car, it...

Carpentier! Come over here.

Come on.

I'm coming. I'm getting up, hold on.

Right.

What will they think up there?
Of what we can do?

Huh?

You held on to the wheel.

Well, who was driving, you or me?

You told me to do it.

To do it well. Not like this, right?

And in front of everyone.

It's embarrassing.

So much for infinity and hope, right?

So much for it, right.

It's okay.

Well, let's go.

Dad, I'm going swimming.

There's a kid drowning.

We should do something.

I called the police for a reason.

I bet, sir. I bet.

If I tell you that I was attacked
by a seagull,

it's because I was attacked by a seagull.

That's it.

As unbelievable as it may seem.

It's for the birds here anyway.

A bird, Carpentier.
He says it's a bird.

No. The film.

The acting.

Oh. Hey. Have you seen
this man's face?

Stop it now, Carpentier.

Is that acting too, perhaps?

Well?

Well, we're off.

We took your statement
and we'll sort it out.

That's nice, thank you.

-Bye.
-Let's go, Carpentier.

Hey, when I

give you a hand Carpentier,
don't mess it up.

Have you ever seen a seagull
attacking a man?

I heard that a woman in the UK
was attacked by three...

No, no.

It doesn't exist, that's all.

That farmer is crazy.

He scratched his own face.

We don't know why.

He's nuts.

There was no bird.
There was no good acting. Yeah.

You can't believe everything.
We have better things to do.

Uncle, these cops are really crazy.

Seagulls attack me,

and these two idiots
are doing donuts in my courtyard.

Something's not right, Jenny.

Whose place is this, Jenny?

My uncle's. You're 15 minutes early!

My car's too fast.

So you got an uncle here?

I got uncles here, there, everywhere.

I got one, he's dead.

Drowned in his manure pit.

The cops were here
and you're driving without a license.

I took the back roads,
went through fields.

They aren't about to catch me.

My uncle was attacked by a seagull.

Oh, shit! Cool. By a seagull.

It's not funny, Coincoin.
He's all scratched up.

Wanna go for a ride?

I have to go see uncle Gny.

Another one?

Told you I have uncles everywhere.

I'm not a taxi.

My love, are you feeling down?

Let's go, love.

We got you there.

A young man driving on public roads
without a license.

We're not on the road yet, sir. Look.

It's private property.

Hey.

She's right.

What's with the bird?

It's a seagull.

We found it one km from here, on the road.

It's for the investigation.

He's going back home on foot, smart move.

We'll get you one day.

Well, let's see if this is the bird
who attacked that man.

Let's go.

A seagull that veers
one km away from here,

on the road, that's odd.

Hey, Carpentier.

What am I doing?

Maybe this man
will recognize his attacker?

Huh? Huh?

Well, I had never seen
a bird attacking a man.

At the movie, yes.

-Yeah.
-But I heard that in the UK...

You're repeating yourself, Carpentier.

It's greasy and there's glue!

Would it be an alien seagull?

Chief?

I'd bet this bird isn't human.

Really?

It'd be an inhuman seagull.

That's why he attacked that man.

Chief, we should check with the scientist

before drawing conclusions.

Does a dog like bones?

Huh?

I'm in control of the case,
Carpentier, stop that.

This is the apocalypse.

The apocalypse?

The end of the world.

The end of the world, Carpentier.

The death of humankind.

All these birds going crazy.

That glue falling everywhere.

And all those blacks
who immigrate on the roads.

What do you mean, Chief?

I know what I mean.

Carpentier, I know what I mean.

All right, let's go.

There's no use in you picking me up
if I have to go on foot.

What is that crap?

I don't need help!

Why are we going this way?

What about going to my uncle?

Your uncle, yeah right!

Don't talk about my uncle!

Hey Coincoin, I'm talking to you.

Oh.

It stinks here.
Really romantic, right?

Seriously, all that shit.
It's disgusting.

Wait for me.

Hey Coincoin, wait for me.

Wait up, Coincoin.

Is he your uncle like I'm your boyfriend?

Stop it, Coincoin.
Let's find a hiding spot.

We can't see anything.

I'm going home, on foot.

Take the car.

It's useful living next door.

People don't think it's useful
living by a camp, Carpentier.

It's a pain
to live by these unfortunate people.

What do you think?

Can you understand
from your clubhouse, Carpentier?

It's easy to look nice and be
eloquent when you don't live it.

Well, travel safe, Chief.

They really hate aliens here, Carpentier.

Allahu akbar.

Allahu akbar.

Allahu akbar.

You don't remember anything?

Nothing, Carpentier.

I woke up this morning
laying here, that's all.

Were you attacked by an immigrant?

Who wanted to set you on fire?

You weren't raped I hope?

-Never know, you have to face it.
-No.

My body is untouched, Carpentier.

And I'm unpenetrable.

Nobody can do me,

understood?

Look how burnt it is, that's crazy!

I'll be back.

Are you itchy, Chief?

What? No.

What about the scientist?

Do you wanna get tested, Chief?

Take a sample, just in case.

Will you stop that, Carpentier?

If I say no, I mean it.

Chief, Chief.

There's glue everywhere.

We were waiting for it for days.

The stuff from up there.

-Are you sure?
-I am.

200%.

It looks like a collapse.

All the shit on the ground,

I'm sure.

It's so much, plus

lightning too.

-It's burnt.
-I was struck by lightning?

There was no storm, Chief.

I need to check you out, Chief.

Look, there's glue on your fingers.

Chief.

Chief.

-Chief?
-Bring the stretcher.

-Chief?
-Don't worry.

He just passed out.

I'll take care of him.

Chief?

You came back?

The scientists didn't take you away?

To get you tested?

I don't believe it.

Go, go, go... Straight ahead.

I'm really happy to see you, Chief.

Go, go, go... Straight ahead.

Here, I'll make it up to you...

Ah Ah Ah Ah

It's my pleasure, Chief.

Chief? It's so good

to see you back on your feet.

Shall I take you home, Chief?

Chief, I usually take you home.

Carpentier!

Chief, you came back?

I thought it was unusual
of you to leave like this.

I regained consciousness, Carpentier.

I'm already back at work.

You don't go to the hospital
if you're okay.

Yeah, I know,

but you lost consciousness.

Right? We don't know

what happened to you last night.

Some mysteries in life can't be explained.

Just go with the flow, Carpentier.

Instead of complicating things.

Well, you're right.

But still...

It's the national police.

It's here. Hey, don't mind me, right?

And the traffic rules.

Me too. I'd have liked to mix it up
too in my youth, young lady.

Let's go eat, right?

The traffic rules.

I'd have liked to mix it up too
in my youth, young lady.

National police.

Traffic rules. Hey.

Holly shit, is he drunk?

He's crazy. He's always like this.

Hey, I gotta go.

Coincoin, I gotta go,
it's like a one-hour walk.

What's up, Coin?

Is she your new girlfriend?

A girl. Like you.

She's pretty.

Girls are complicated, right.

No, boys are just too simple.

Girl business confuses me.

You're funny when you
like a girl, Coincoin.

Yeah, and it dulls the mind.

My love.

What are you doing?

Hey there. It's a right-a-way.
You'll see about the national police.

Hey, national police.

Traffic rules.

Are taking the red light
or are you going left?

The national police is here.

I'd have liked to love too
in my youth. Kissing.

Traffic rules.

I'm gonna tell your parents.

National police.

It's a right-a-way.

Fuck, they're all crazy.

Coincoin.

You can go, Aurec.

Bye.

Traffic checkpoints are 25%
of police work, Carpentier.

Well, maybe it's work
for our policemen, Chief.

You might be a Lieutenant now, Carpentier,

but you started as a policeman.

Don't forget where you came from.

True, but I have to know where I'm going.

Are you kidding, Carpentier?

Without these checks, we're nothing.

Nothing.

That's what a policeman does, that's it.

It's the reason for his existence.

Especially in this hole, Carpentier.

It's the heart of our work here.

We're touching bottom.

We're wasting time.

Two cars in an hour...

You're just not wired
to understand it, Carpentier.

I read a lot, you know.

Reading or not, we can

tell who's been drinking.

-Right?
-Well, yeah.

He stands out. Look who's coming.

It's that animal
driving without a license again.

What a renegade.

What does that mean?

National police. Please pull over.

Mr. Leleu, how are you?

National police.

Papers, please.

How are you, Mr. Leleu?

But...

You're with a Miss.

It's not a Miss, it's a Sir.

That guy back there.

I already checked him out,
he's from The Block.

Chief, you work while sitting down now?

Hey. Driver license, sir.

Hey. You were born the same year
as some colleagues.

Hey. Carpentier.

Chief, how are you able to be sitting
and standing up at the same time?

Hey. Oh, Mr. Leleu,
what are you doing?

Are you crazy?

You're not going to kidnap a cop, are you?

You can't blame me for doing checkpoints.

It's normal, right?

The roads would be a mess without them.

We're not really far with it anyway.

You know, Carpentier, checkpoints

are the heart of police work.

You're a Lieutenant now,
but you started as a cop.

Never forget where you came from.
You know?

You're messing around, but we're
nothing without checkpoints.

That's what we do, that's all.

We live for checkpoints, that's all.

Shit. It's that animal
driving without a license.

What? Mr. Leleu
doesn't have a license?

Carpentier, don't you see what's going on?

Refusal to obey then.

What's all this mess?

We must stop the bullshit.
It's the apocalypse, Carpentier.

Let's go.

What's going on, Chief?

Is it really the apocalypse?

It's the end of the world, Carpentier.

It's the end of the human world.

-Are you sure?
-The death of humanity.

All the birds have gone crazy.

Glue is falling everywhere.

Blacks migrate on the roads
without a license.

It's the end of the world.

The end of the human world.

That's really scary, right?

That's scary.

Did you take your medication?

Hey. Are you two together?

Hey. Here are your papers.

Just drop me off here,
my colleague will pick me up.

The meeting was at 2:00, right?

Time is time.

-Hello?
-Hello, Carpentier, where are you?

Chief?

-Well...
-Hello.

-What's...
-Carpentier?

-Well...
-Quit your acting.

Hey. It's the national police.

What's going on?

What?

Hello?

Hey. He hung up on me.

The nerves of that guy.

A prankster, pretending to be you.

Right, and he has my number.

Nobody can do me, Carpentier.

Well, Chief.

Are you all right?

You've been acting strange
since the attack.

-No?
-Nobody can

do me, Carpentier.

I didn't say anything about that, Chief.

Hello, Carpentier?

It's the national police.

What was that? You hung up on me?

Listen closely.

Hey. It's an attack, Carpentier.

It's an attack.

Come get me at The Block, okay?

Chief, your double!

-Your yourself.
-Hello?

An attack, you hear?

-What?
-Come get me, dammit.

Hey, I'm Van der Weyden.

-What?
-I'm Van der Weyden.

-Chief?
-Hello?

Yeah, it's me.

-What?
-Why?

-What?
-Who are you?

Van der Weyden speaking.

That's me, dammit! Who are you?

That's not possible!

-What?
-Hello?

What? What's going on?

-What?
-Who are you?

You know what, we're coming.

Ah.

Let's go.

Drive.

What does that mean?

Van der Weyden.

A refusal to obey.

Driving without a license.

No insurance.

It's a long list, little guy.

Just wait.

I'm gonna get him, this Coincoin.

Hey there.

Oh?

So, Coincoin, you're not

taking your car in front of me?

I don't know what you're talking about.

Driving without a license?

Going through police checkpoints?

I don't know what you're talking about.

Maybe it's better
if I catch you red-handed.

Hey. I'm not waiting here
until you come back for your car.

I'll get you one way or the other.

Plus, you're on public property.

Right. Just wait.

What the hell is going on?

Look who's coming.

On foot too.

Refusal to obey a Public Forces officer.

I don't believe it.

What is it, sir?

-Look Chief, innocent kids.
-Okay.

So?

The cat got your tongue?

It's not us, sir.

You got some nerve.

Plus, you deny the obvious. Right?

We saw you at the farm
with Carette yesterday.

We were going to see the man
who was attacked by a seagull.

And there, 50 minutes ago.

A man attacked by a seagull, sir?

I'm talking about the car you drove.

It's not me, sir.

Did you hear that, Chief?

It's not me.

Yeah. Who is it then?

Who is it then?

Well, I don't know, but it's not me.

Is he really crying?

Crying? National police.

You too, country and animals, right?

Well, yes.

Watch out, Chief, you're on the carpet.

Without the national police,
everything would be a mess.

That's right. That's right.

Sir, how are you here, but we saw you

back there less than six minutes ago?

Don't push me or you'll get it.

How can a kid your age come up
with all this nonsense?

I've never seen anything like it.
Get out of here.

Get out.

Disappear.

Just wait, you'll see.

See how the youth is, Chief?

They're good-for-nothings, Carpentier.

That's sad, really.

Carpentier.

Sir, what happened to you?

Hey, it's me, Carpentier. Dammit.

Chief? What did you do?

You were in the car!

Carpentier, don't you see glue fell on me?

Will you drop me off?

I didn't even see you get out of the car.

You did this in two seconds.

When it falls on you,
it's less than half a second.

That's amazing. Amazing.

Let's go.

Let's leave.

TO BE CONTINUED...

Shit, what's that?

Shit. Look at them.

Easy!

Subtitling: Hiventy