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1
00:01:19,551 --> 00:01:21,286
Hey. You need a ride?
2
00:01:24,256 --> 00:01:26,423
So you're still riding the bus
with all the ninth graders?
3
00:01:26,425 --> 00:01:29,459
Okay, I like
public transportation.
4
00:01:29,461 --> 00:01:31,528
It lets me stay in touch
with the youth.
5
00:01:31,530 --> 00:01:33,396
What happens when all the
youth get their licenses
6
00:01:33,398 --> 00:01:35,265
and you're the last one
on the bus?
7
00:01:35,267 --> 00:01:37,099
Sick Top 40, bro.
8
00:01:37,101 --> 00:01:38,801
It is sick, actually.
9
00:01:38,803 --> 00:01:40,102
In what circles?
10
00:01:40,104 --> 00:01:42,272
In all the circles.
That's why it's Top 40.
11
00:01:42,274 --> 00:01:44,041
Fuckin' touche.
12
00:01:45,910 --> 00:01:47,377
You wanna hear sick?
13
00:01:47,379 --> 00:01:48,380
Oh, no.
14
00:01:53,884 --> 00:01:54,885
Oh.
15
00:01:55,153 --> 00:01:56,221
What?
16
00:01:59,991 --> 00:02:02,194
- Is it weird he isn't here?
- Who?
17
00:02:03,295 --> 00:02:04,329
Ben!
18
00:02:05,330 --> 00:02:06,331
No.
19
00:02:07,098 --> 00:02:08,398
Why?
20
00:02:08,400 --> 00:02:10,333
Because you guys
have a conjoined vagina.
21
00:02:11,969 --> 00:02:13,836
You want a bite
of my corned beef sandwich?
22
00:02:13,838 --> 00:02:15,472
Uh-uh.
23
00:02:15,474 --> 00:02:19,043
Why do you close yourself off to all of
life's miracles like this? Live a little.
24
00:02:20,312 --> 00:02:23,112
I don't wanna eat anything
that has to be "corned."
25
00:02:23,114 --> 00:02:26,449
You don't like
my corned beef sandwiches...
26
00:02:26,451 --> 00:02:28,451
- you don't like my music.
- Mmm-hmm.
27
00:02:28,453 --> 00:02:30,886
I don't think
that's how friends work.
28
00:02:30,888 --> 00:02:32,589
I guess we have
nothing in common.
29
00:02:32,591 --> 00:02:34,591
Maybe we shouldn't be anymore.
30
00:02:34,593 --> 00:02:36,861
We shouldn't be friends?
31
00:02:38,129 --> 00:02:39,130
Yeah.
32
00:02:55,946 --> 00:02:56,947
What do you say?
33
00:02:58,250 --> 00:02:59,251
Not friends?
34
00:03:03,087 --> 00:03:04,121
Not friends.
35
00:03:14,533 --> 00:03:15,765
Okay.
36
00:03:36,221 --> 00:03:37,922
I think we should have sex.
37
00:03:39,391 --> 00:03:42,461
- In general?
- No, I mean right now.
38
00:03:45,163 --> 00:03:46,463
You're my little lemur.
39
00:03:46,465 --> 00:03:48,099
You're my little panda bear.
40
00:03:51,536 --> 00:03:53,303
I love panda bears!
41
00:03:53,305 --> 00:03:55,338
- Fuckin' love lemurs.
- Yeah.
42
00:04:08,587 --> 00:04:10,087
Fourth time's the charm.
43
00:04:39,151 --> 00:04:40,983
- Listen. Listen to me.
- What?
44
00:04:40,985 --> 00:04:43,486
It's getting really tiring
hanging out with you
45
00:04:43,488 --> 00:04:46,121
- while you're always on your phone.
- You do the same thing to me!
46
00:04:46,123 --> 00:04:49,325
You talk to Molly and Sally,
I swear, for 45 minutes
47
00:04:49,327 --> 00:04:50,593
- every time we hang out.
- Are you kidding me?
48
00:04:50,595 --> 00:04:51,828
You play your dumb little
fuckin' video games all the time
49
00:04:51,830 --> 00:04:54,264
with Ben on the other line,
being like, "Meh-meh-meh-meh."
50
00:04:54,266 --> 00:04:55,565
- I'm driving you home.
- I keep hearing fuckin' rumors...
51
00:04:55,567 --> 00:04:57,634
from ninth grade about you getting
blowies, which, by the way,
52
00:04:57,636 --> 00:04:59,702
I don't know
who even said, "blowie."
53
00:04:59,704 --> 00:05:02,639
Oh, I'm sorry. I don't give a fuck.
Enjoy your meal.
54
00:05:02,641 --> 00:05:04,574
I don't give a fuck.
55
00:05:20,225 --> 00:05:21,259
...angry!
56
00:05:22,194 --> 00:05:24,761
Okay, fine, you know what?
Just let's...
57
00:05:24,763 --> 00:05:27,464
What, are we posing like this?
This is so fuckin' cliche. This is cliche.
58
00:06:09,407 --> 00:06:11,309
Why did you choose Boston?
59
00:06:20,185 --> 00:06:22,719
- April, have your salmon.
- I'm not hungry.
60
00:06:22,721 --> 00:06:25,588
Well, it's been two weeks.
You need the omega threes.
61
00:06:25,590 --> 00:06:28,291
- They help your brain.
- What's wrong with my brain?
62
00:06:28,293 --> 00:06:29,726
Honey! They're good for you.
63
00:06:29,728 --> 00:06:31,828
Mom, she's allowed to
be depressed.
64
00:06:31,830 --> 00:06:33,663
- Thank you.
- No one as good as Nick
65
00:06:33,665 --> 00:06:35,498
will ever love her again.
66
00:06:35,500 --> 00:06:37,834
Agnes. Show some compassion.
67
00:06:37,836 --> 00:06:39,536
Yeah. Eat a dick, Agnes.
68
00:06:39,538 --> 00:06:42,104
April, don't tell
your sister to eat that.
69
00:06:42,106 --> 00:06:44,106
- I'll eat Nick's dick.
- Not okay.
70
00:06:44,108 --> 00:06:45,808
You little perv.
You don't even have your period yet.
71
00:06:45,810 --> 00:06:47,877
- I do have my period.
- Oh, yeah?
72
00:06:47,879 --> 00:06:49,479
- Show me your tampon.
- You...
73
00:06:49,481 --> 00:06:51,648
You got your period
and you didn't tell me?
74
00:06:51,650 --> 00:06:54,417
Wow. You guys are gonna be
single forever.
75
00:06:54,419 --> 00:06:56,352
- No, we're not.
- No, we're not.
76
00:06:56,354 --> 00:06:58,821
Meanwhile, I'm gonna marry Nick
and we're gonna own a yacht,
77
00:06:58,823 --> 00:07:00,690
and a Jacuzzi,
and a baby whale,
78
00:07:00,692 --> 00:07:04,561
and we're all gonna live in Mexico
in a beautiful Spanish-style house.
79
00:07:04,563 --> 00:07:06,329
We're gonna have five kids
and they're all
80
00:07:06,331 --> 00:07:08,264
gonna be named after
famous singers.
81
00:07:08,266 --> 00:07:11,234
Let's see. We're gonna have
Will.i.am, and we're gonna have Cher,
82
00:07:11,236 --> 00:07:13,202
but we also gotta throw in
some Beatle names,
83
00:07:13,204 --> 00:07:16,575
so we'll have Paul McCartney
and John Lennon...
84
00:08:00,485 --> 00:08:01,884
Lemme get a Coke
and a hot dog.
85
00:08:01,886 --> 00:08:03,620
One Coke.
86
00:08:03,622 --> 00:08:07,223
- And a hot dog.
- That's gonna be $4 for the Coke.
87
00:08:07,225 --> 00:08:08,925
Sorry, are you out of hot dogs?
88
00:08:08,927 --> 00:08:11,327
- No, we have hot dogs.
- Then... Then why...
89
00:08:11,329 --> 00:08:12,695
Because the smell
of your pig parts
90
00:08:12,697 --> 00:08:15,231
are gonna ruin the cinematic
experience for everyone.
91
00:08:15,233 --> 00:08:16,799
Where's your manager?
92
00:08:16,801 --> 00:08:19,969
Look, April, I like you.
93
00:08:19,971 --> 00:08:22,338
You know, I... I like
the way that blue shirt
94
00:08:22,340 --> 00:08:25,441
brings out the brown in your eyes,
you know, it's really stunning.
95
00:08:25,443 --> 00:08:27,877
But you can't tell people
what to order, okay?
96
00:08:27,879 --> 00:08:29,679
Like, let them
get the hot dogs.
97
00:08:29,681 --> 00:08:31,414
- Okay.
- Great.
98
00:08:31,416 --> 00:08:35,585
That was a great talk.
Really, really productive and...
99
00:08:38,490 --> 00:08:39,491
Yeah.
100
00:09:35,680 --> 00:09:36,612
Yo.
101
00:09:36,614 --> 00:09:38,948
Yo! We're goin' out tonight.
102
00:09:38,950 --> 00:09:40,783
I don't go out anymore.
103
00:09:40,785 --> 00:09:42,785
It'll make you happy!
104
00:09:42,787 --> 00:09:44,654
Are we going to a gun range?
105
00:09:44,656 --> 00:09:46,823
We're going to Mordecai's.
106
00:09:46,825 --> 00:09:48,593
Is that a temple?
107
00:09:49,294 --> 00:09:51,360
It's a house party.
108
00:09:51,362 --> 00:09:53,596
Don't even try to say no.
109
00:09:53,598 --> 00:09:55,465
You need to get thirsty for a dick.
110
00:09:55,467 --> 00:09:58,634
Yeah! Rebound dick!
111
00:09:58,636 --> 00:10:00,737
Oh, it's the best kinda dick.
112
00:10:00,739 --> 00:10:02,172
No, it's the second best.
113
00:10:02,174 --> 00:10:04,741
- Wait, what's the best kind?
- Love dick.
114
00:10:04,743 --> 00:10:07,846
Don't talk about love in front of April!
115
00:10:09,647 --> 00:10:12,982
Where the fuck did this
Clara girl come from anyway?
116
00:10:12,984 --> 00:10:15,685
- Her Instagram's on private.
- Trick ass bitch.
117
00:10:15,687 --> 00:10:18,621
I followed her from my fake
account at TatianaRealicious.
118
00:10:18,623 --> 00:10:23,025
Wait, she accepted someone
named TatianaRealicious?
119
00:10:23,027 --> 00:10:24,694
You dumb bitch.
120
00:10:24,696 --> 00:10:26,562
You have a fake Instagram
account that I don't know about?
121
00:10:26,564 --> 00:10:28,431
Mmm.
122
00:10:28,433 --> 00:10:29,565
You don't know
everything about me.
123
00:10:29,567 --> 00:10:31,000
When did you do that?
124
00:10:31,002 --> 00:10:33,536
What is this photo of
Shaquille O'Neal?
125
00:10:33,538 --> 00:10:34,937
I saw Shaq
at a bakery once.
126
00:10:34,939 --> 00:10:37,073
I saw Kobe in a Petco.
127
00:10:37,075 --> 00:10:40,843
It's so cool that they shop
for their own pet paraphernalia.
128
00:10:40,845 --> 00:10:43,047
Get this torture device
away from me.
129
00:10:46,351 --> 00:10:47,418
She's like
130
00:10:47,952 --> 00:10:49,018
really pretty.
131
00:10:49,020 --> 00:10:50,019
Oh.
132
00:10:50,021 --> 00:10:54,390
- Sally!
- Like, in a boring, classic way.
133
00:10:54,392 --> 00:10:55,925
Shut up.
134
00:11:01,699 --> 00:11:04,100
Ah, I love shots!
135
00:11:04,102 --> 00:11:06,538
Me, too!
136
00:11:07,705 --> 00:11:09,040
I miss Nick.
137
00:11:29,627 --> 00:11:33,097
To the universe
for testing us all.
138
00:11:33,698 --> 00:11:35,965
Huh?
139
00:11:35,967 --> 00:11:40,371
- I'm an existentialist.
- Cool. I love horses, too.
140
00:11:43,975 --> 00:11:45,109
All right.
141
00:11:50,048 --> 00:11:52,450
Oh, yeah, your tits.
142
00:11:53,051 --> 00:11:54,853
Ah, it smells bad in here.
143
00:11:56,855 --> 00:11:58,855
You're a good kisser.
144
00:11:58,857 --> 00:12:01,359
Yeah, yeah. Say...
Say more stuff like that.
145
00:12:04,128 --> 00:12:06,531
If you blow me,
I'll fuck you.
146
00:12:10,702 --> 00:12:11,936
What?
147
00:12:20,212 --> 00:12:22,013
- April. April.
- Get over here.
148
00:12:23,481 --> 00:12:25,147
- She's here.
- Who?
149
00:12:25,149 --> 00:12:26,551
You know who.
150
00:12:28,086 --> 00:12:30,220
- Is Nick with her?
- We haven't seen him.
151
00:12:30,222 --> 00:12:32,488
If this is too hard for you,
we can go.
152
00:12:32,490 --> 00:12:35,960
Or we can get you a Lyft
and you can go.
153
00:12:46,905 --> 00:12:49,440
I feel bad.
I feel so bad.
154
00:12:50,675 --> 00:12:54,110
- Should I say something to her?
- Like what?
155
00:12:54,112 --> 00:12:57,980
Like, "Hi, I'm April. I hear you're
letting the boy I love cum inside you."
156
00:12:57,982 --> 00:13:00,783
- That's so weird.
- Please don't ever say that.
157
00:13:00,785 --> 00:13:02,053
So, they're like, "Oh."
158
00:13:05,257 --> 00:13:07,525
- Want some tequila?
- Mmm-hmm.
159
00:13:09,060 --> 00:13:11,694
- I have some coke, too.
- I'd do a little coke.
160
00:13:43,628 --> 00:13:45,928
- April?
- Fucking Judas.
161
00:13:45,930 --> 00:13:47,763
What the fuck?
162
00:13:47,765 --> 00:13:51,734
"What the fuck"
to you, Benjamin.
163
00:13:51,736 --> 00:13:53,836
Uh, yeah, sorry, so I've been
to like three bedrooms already.
164
00:13:53,838 --> 00:13:55,905
You were not specific,
and this is a big-ass house.
165
00:13:55,907 --> 00:13:57,907
Are you having
sex with her, too?
166
00:13:57,909 --> 00:14:00,109
What? Clar... No, no,
we're just friends.
167
00:14:00,111 --> 00:14:03,612
No, who the hell is this girl?
How come I've never heard of her?
168
00:14:03,614 --> 00:14:06,782
Okay, Clara, uh,
her parents are like my godparents,
169
00:14:06,784 --> 00:14:10,086
and we kinda grew up together
and we used to take baths.
170
00:14:10,088 --> 00:14:12,121
- With each other. You know?
- Oh!
171
00:14:12,123 --> 00:14:14,123
That's so cute.
Tell me more.
172
00:14:14,125 --> 00:14:17,260
Right. I don't know why
this is a thing, you know,
173
00:14:17,262 --> 00:14:18,995
'cause she's, like, moved here,
she doesn't have any friends...
174
00:14:18,997 --> 00:14:20,129
And you thought,
175
00:14:20,131 --> 00:14:22,064
"Before I show her
the Chinese Theatre,
176
00:14:22,066 --> 00:14:23,632
she should see Nick's penis?"
177
00:14:23,634 --> 00:14:25,103
I didn't think that,
178
00:14:26,171 --> 00:14:28,137
but maybe she hasn't
seen it yet.
179
00:14:28,139 --> 00:14:32,041
I'm gonna break into your house
and force feed you ghost peppers.
180
00:14:32,043 --> 00:14:35,745
- That's incredibly specific.
- I am gonna hunt you down
181
00:14:35,747 --> 00:14:37,613
when you're old
and you're sick,
182
00:14:37,615 --> 00:14:39,249
and I'm gonna
turn off the oxygen.
183
00:14:39,251 --> 00:14:42,651
I'm gonna tell weird stories
at your funeral,
184
00:14:42,653 --> 00:14:44,221
- so no one remembers you accurately.
- Okay,
185
00:14:44,223 --> 00:14:46,156
I don't wanna play
your death threat game,
186
00:14:46,158 --> 00:14:48,225
and I don't wanna be in the middle
of whatever weird, toxic shit...
187
00:14:48,227 --> 00:14:51,093
You're not in the middle.
You're fuckin' taking their side!
188
00:14:51,095 --> 00:14:54,030
I'm not taking their side,
because there are no sides, April.
189
00:14:54,032 --> 00:14:55,232
- You're making this up. It's all in your head.
- Yes, you are.
190
00:14:55,234 --> 00:14:56,832
Hey! Hey! Hey, hey!
191
00:14:56,834 --> 00:14:58,100
This is a private area.
192
00:14:58,102 --> 00:15:00,172
Right.
It's my parents' bedroom.
193
00:15:01,839 --> 00:15:02,840
Mordecai?
194
00:15:04,675 --> 00:15:05,710
Yes?
195
00:15:06,644 --> 00:15:09,179
- That's Mordecai.
- It is.
196
00:15:09,181 --> 00:15:10,713
- Ben, do you know this person?
- I do know this person.
197
00:15:10,715 --> 00:15:12,681
- You know this person?
- We're leaving.
198
00:15:12,683 --> 00:15:14,184
- Thank you.
- We're leaving.
199
00:15:14,186 --> 00:15:15,720
You're so strict.
200
00:15:16,788 --> 00:15:18,990
So strict. Okay.
201
00:15:24,929 --> 00:15:26,798
Bedrooms are
off limits, guys.
202
00:15:47,352 --> 00:15:48,586
It's not me, Mordecai.
203
00:15:52,657 --> 00:15:53,691
Hi.
204
00:15:58,163 --> 00:15:59,164
You're April.
205
00:16:00,332 --> 00:16:01,333
Uh-huh.
206
00:16:02,800 --> 00:16:03,801
Clara.
207
00:16:05,370 --> 00:16:06,704
I'm aware.
208
00:16:10,442 --> 00:16:12,710
Have... Have you seen keys
for a Volvo?
209
00:16:19,318 --> 00:16:20,319
No.
210
00:16:22,854 --> 00:16:24,053
Is that it?
211
00:16:24,055 --> 00:16:26,722
No, I just...
I saw you walking in here and I thought
212
00:16:26,724 --> 00:16:28,325
maybe I should say something.
213
00:16:28,327 --> 00:16:29,559
About your keys?
214
00:16:29,561 --> 00:16:33,996
No, forget the keys.
That was just like an icebreaker.
215
00:16:33,998 --> 00:16:36,000
It's still icy as fuck
in here.
216
00:16:37,236 --> 00:16:39,135
Okay.
217
00:16:39,137 --> 00:16:40,938
Maybe this was a bad idea.
218
00:16:42,474 --> 00:16:44,006
That's astute.
219
00:16:44,008 --> 00:16:46,677
I didn't know about you
until two days ago.
220
00:16:49,448 --> 00:16:53,483
Also, I'm pretty sure
I'm gonna throw up,
221
00:16:53,485 --> 00:16:55,154
if that makes you
feel any better.
222
00:16:55,987 --> 00:16:57,021
A little.
223
00:16:58,357 --> 00:16:59,824
Do you wanna go do a shot?
224
00:17:03,127 --> 00:17:04,727
I don't drink.
225
00:17:04,729 --> 00:17:06,795
♪ Bling-bling, bitch
Do my own thing, bitch
226
00:17:06,797 --> 00:17:07,963
♪ Fuck a wedding ring
227
00:17:07,965 --> 00:17:09,199
♪ That ding a ling
was just a fling, bitch
228
00:17:09,201 --> 00:17:12,435
♪ Looking out for my mama
and my day one bitches
229
00:17:12,437 --> 00:17:15,037
♪ Independent women
We accumulatin' riches
230
00:17:15,039 --> 00:17:18,107
♪ Blowing haters kisses
Forever fly misses
231
00:17:18,109 --> 00:17:19,942
You know this song!
232
00:17:19,944 --> 00:17:21,344
I don't really...
Not really.
233
00:17:21,346 --> 00:17:23,246
You know, I can hear you
singing it.
234
00:17:23,248 --> 00:17:24,548
- I don't know.
- That's not the rules.
235
00:17:24,550 --> 00:17:26,782
You have to sing if you know the song.
You know I'm right.
236
00:17:26,784 --> 00:17:29,386
- I don't know...
- You know I'm right. You have to. Come on.
237
00:17:29,388 --> 00:17:31,321
♪ Lemme tell you how
bitches really be
238
00:17:31,323 --> 00:17:32,988
♪ Here's me, here's JP
239
00:17:32,990 --> 00:17:34,257
♪ Reportin' live
from the streets
240
00:17:34,259 --> 00:17:35,425
♪ And you best believe
241
00:17:35,427 --> 00:17:37,092
♪ That I got the keys
And I got the trees
242
00:17:37,094 --> 00:17:38,127
♪ And I got the tweets
243
00:17:38,129 --> 00:17:39,895
♪ Ain't no stopping
these prophecies
244
00:17:39,897 --> 00:17:42,232
♪ Am I a thot
for lovin' Ciroc
245
00:17:42,234 --> 00:17:44,867
♪ Gucci or not
I'm a cheat 'cause I got
246
00:17:44,869 --> 00:17:47,437
♪ All my hot girls
with me and we
247
00:17:47,439 --> 00:17:50,773
♪ Dance around
and bounce those titties
248
00:17:50,775 --> 00:17:52,375
- Yes, yes, yes, yes!
- You can do that.
249
00:17:52,377 --> 00:17:54,344
♪ Dance around
and bounce those titties
250
00:17:54,346 --> 00:17:55,445
Come on.
251
00:17:55,447 --> 00:17:57,414
♪ Dance around
and bounce those titties
252
00:17:57,416 --> 00:18:00,115
♪ Dance around
and bounce those titties
253
00:18:00,117 --> 00:18:02,385
♪ Bling-bling, bitch
Do my own thing, bitch
254
00:18:02,387 --> 00:18:03,553
♪ Fuck a wedding ring
255
00:18:03,555 --> 00:18:04,820
♪ That ding a ling
was just a fling, bitch
256
00:18:04,822 --> 00:18:07,359
♪ Bling-bling, bitch
Do my own thing, bitch...
257
00:18:08,360 --> 00:18:10,160
Oh, fuck.
258
00:18:10,162 --> 00:18:12,795
♪ Eenie, minnie, moe
How many niggas is ready to go?
259
00:18:12,797 --> 00:18:13,862
♪ Down on a bitch
for the Galaxy 4
260
00:18:13,864 --> 00:18:15,030
♪ 99 reasons
why niggas ain't shit
261
00:18:15,032 --> 00:18:16,233
♪ Shit is not funny
The mission is critical
262
00:18:16,235 --> 00:18:18,468
♪ Setting yourself up
for disses and ridicule
263
00:18:18,470 --> 00:18:19,802
♪ Talk to these hoes and I got
them to switch on you
264
00:18:19,804 --> 00:18:20,838
♪ Talked to ya mom and now
she gonna shit on you ♪
265
00:18:27,312 --> 00:18:29,080
I can hold my own hair.
266
00:18:34,852 --> 00:18:37,322
You were the one
who was supposed to puke.
267
00:18:37,589 --> 00:18:38,990
Sorry.
268
00:18:40,425 --> 00:18:41,859
How do you feel?
269
00:18:43,262 --> 00:18:44,463
Hungry.
270
00:18:45,297 --> 00:18:46,529
Oh.
271
00:18:46,531 --> 00:18:49,466
I saw some fancy cheese
in the fridge.
272
00:18:49,468 --> 00:18:52,168
- Please, stop.
- Stop what?
273
00:18:52,170 --> 00:18:54,337
Why are you
being so nice to me?
274
00:18:54,339 --> 00:18:57,840
What, I mean, what?
Do you want me to be like a bitch to you?
275
00:18:57,842 --> 00:18:59,409
Kind of.
276
00:18:59,411 --> 00:19:01,946
I want a reason to give you
a black eye.
277
00:19:04,449 --> 00:19:06,151
God, your eyes are pretty.
278
00:19:07,084 --> 00:19:08,487
Your eyes are pretty.
279
00:19:09,588 --> 00:19:11,789
And your boobs,
they're like...
280
00:19:12,857 --> 00:19:14,025
really good.
281
00:19:14,426 --> 00:19:16,058
No.
282
00:19:16,060 --> 00:19:18,463
It's a push-up bra. Feel.
283
00:19:22,066 --> 00:19:23,568
Could I ask you something?
284
00:19:24,035 --> 00:19:25,036
Yeah.
285
00:19:26,605 --> 00:19:28,440
Why isn't Nick here with you?
286
00:19:30,208 --> 00:19:33,075
I don't know. Ask Ben.
287
00:19:33,077 --> 00:19:35,846
- They are so gay together.
- I know.
288
00:19:55,634 --> 00:19:56,967
I'm gonna...
289
00:19:57,935 --> 00:19:59,003
You have to go?
290
00:20:01,072 --> 00:20:02,073
Yeah.
291
00:20:06,977 --> 00:20:09,346
They look friendly.
292
00:20:09,348 --> 00:20:11,283
They're not friendly,
they're just...
293
00:20:12,284 --> 00:20:13,918
my friends.
294
00:20:18,390 --> 00:20:21,023
Well, it was nice
to meet you.
295
00:20:21,025 --> 00:20:23,328
Yup. It was less bloody
than I envisioned.
296
00:20:24,196 --> 00:20:25,464
Take my number.
297
00:20:27,499 --> 00:20:29,534
I... Uh...
298
00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:31,001
What?
299
00:20:32,704 --> 00:20:34,373
What about...
300
00:20:35,273 --> 00:20:36,274
Nick.
301
00:20:37,041 --> 00:20:40,042
Yeah. That person.
302
00:20:40,044 --> 00:20:41,446
I don't have to tell him.
303
00:20:44,316 --> 00:20:46,182
Well...
304
00:20:46,184 --> 00:20:48,117
good luck
with your keys. I'm...
305
00:20:48,119 --> 00:20:51,086
Oh, my God, just take
my phone number.
306
00:20:56,060 --> 00:20:57,195
Have you lost
your damn mind?
307
00:20:58,530 --> 00:21:00,196
What happens
when she gets jealous?
308
00:21:00,198 --> 00:21:02,198
I'm not forcing her
to hang out with me.
309
00:21:02,200 --> 00:21:03,733
Oh, yeah, you just gave her
your cell phone number for what?
310
00:21:03,735 --> 00:21:07,270
- Shits and gigs?
- Chill, Benjamin.
311
00:21:07,272 --> 00:21:09,071
Oh, my God. You know,
you and April are the only two people
312
00:21:09,073 --> 00:21:10,340
who call me that?
313
00:21:10,342 --> 00:21:12,475
Which is exactly why
we should be friends.
314
00:21:12,477 --> 00:21:14,244
That's a really
flimsy argument.
315
00:21:14,246 --> 00:21:15,745
What if I'm the one
who gets jealous?
316
00:21:15,747 --> 00:21:17,313
Why... Why would
you get jealous?
317
00:21:17,315 --> 00:21:20,283
Because she's like the...
The long-term ex.
318
00:21:20,285 --> 00:21:22,117
Yeah, but I'm pretty sure
relationships with sex
319
00:21:22,119 --> 00:21:25,321
take priority over relationships,
you know, without sex.
320
00:21:25,323 --> 00:21:27,925
Then I guess we're just gonna
have to scissor.
321
00:21:29,628 --> 00:21:33,263
Look, I'm asking you
to do me a favor, okay?
322
00:21:33,265 --> 00:21:35,198
- It depends.
- Are you kidding me?
323
00:21:35,200 --> 00:21:36,599
I helped you with all those fucking
shelves with the Swedish names...
324
00:21:36,601 --> 00:21:38,535
Then what is it?
325
00:21:38,537 --> 00:21:41,671
Just don't hang out with April.
326
00:21:41,673 --> 00:21:44,543
And if you do, please,
stop hooking up with Nick.
327
00:21:45,377 --> 00:21:47,479
Huh? Just pick one.
328
00:22:09,701 --> 00:22:10,735
Send it.
329
00:22:13,103 --> 00:22:14,172
Send it.
330
00:22:15,507 --> 00:22:17,173
What if you don't respond?
331
00:22:17,175 --> 00:22:18,710
Why would I
give you my number?
332
00:22:19,678 --> 00:22:21,511
Well...
333
00:22:21,513 --> 00:22:23,482
Maybe Nick is balls deep
inside you.
334
00:22:24,249 --> 00:22:25,283
Maybe.
335
00:22:27,686 --> 00:22:30,120
But on the other hand...
336
00:22:30,622 --> 00:22:31,656
fuck it.
337
00:22:39,464 --> 00:22:40,465
Send.
338
00:22:43,133 --> 00:22:45,268
- So, you know I...
- What do you...
339
00:22:45,270 --> 00:22:47,437
- You go.
- No, you.
340
00:22:47,439 --> 00:22:51,374
I was just gonna say,
I stalked you on Instagram.
341
00:22:51,376 --> 00:22:55,012
- You did?
- Yeah, like 106 weeks.
342
00:22:55,747 --> 00:22:58,348
Well, I stalked you, too,
343
00:22:58,350 --> 00:23:01,651
but, uh, only made it to
that Shaquille O'Neal post.
344
00:23:01,653 --> 00:23:03,820
I just wanna hug him,
you know?
345
00:23:03,822 --> 00:23:05,622
- Sure.
- And fuck him.
346
00:23:05,624 --> 00:23:08,560
Wait, how did you see that photo?
My account's on private.
347
00:23:09,861 --> 00:23:13,363
I had a friend follow you
from a fake account.
348
00:23:13,365 --> 00:23:16,234
Your friend
is TatianaRealicious?
349
00:23:17,302 --> 00:23:19,435
- Yes.
- Oh, my God,
350
00:23:19,437 --> 00:23:22,272
that answers
so many questions.
351
00:23:22,274 --> 00:23:23,540
Did... Okay.
352
00:23:27,445 --> 00:23:29,345
So you're just
not going to school?
353
00:23:29,347 --> 00:23:32,348
I mean, I might, one day.
354
00:23:32,350 --> 00:23:34,185
I forgot that's even an option.
355
00:23:34,753 --> 00:23:36,452
What made you move here?
356
00:23:36,454 --> 00:23:39,856
I don't know. Just to move here.
Fresno sucks.
357
00:23:39,858 --> 00:23:41,324
That's so baller.
358
00:23:41,326 --> 00:23:46,863
Yeah, I'm ballin' real hard using my
employee discount to buy oven mitts.
359
00:23:46,865 --> 00:23:50,233
- You can cook, too?
- What, you can't cook?
360
00:23:50,235 --> 00:23:53,236
I put chocolate
in the microwave before,
361
00:23:53,238 --> 00:23:55,137
with, like, some marshmallows
and stirred peanut butter in,
362
00:23:55,139 --> 00:23:57,742
- and I can eat that.
- Don't tell people that.
363
00:24:00,245 --> 00:24:01,513
Someone's coming.
What do I do?
364
00:24:01,846 --> 00:24:03,214
Nothing.
365
00:24:06,251 --> 00:24:07,383
Hi.
366
00:24:07,385 --> 00:24:08,753
Hello, dog.
367
00:24:10,288 --> 00:24:13,156
You never peed
outside before?
368
00:24:13,158 --> 00:24:14,759
What do you use
for toilet paper?
369
00:24:15,627 --> 00:24:16,828
You drip dry.
370
00:24:20,365 --> 00:24:22,365
It's pooling against my shoe!
371
00:24:36,915 --> 00:24:38,781
Just take the test again.
372
00:24:38,783 --> 00:24:40,950
I can't bring
my mom's car to Boston.
373
00:24:40,952 --> 00:24:43,853
Well, yeah, but at some point in
your life you're gonna want your own.
374
00:24:43,855 --> 00:24:45,555
I do have
my learner's permit.
375
00:24:45,557 --> 00:24:46,558
That's good.
376
00:24:47,726 --> 00:24:48,760
It's expired.
377
00:24:49,561 --> 00:24:51,728
Oh.
378
00:24:51,730 --> 00:24:55,264
Nick used to get so pissed
having to drive me everywhere.
379
00:24:55,266 --> 00:24:57,433
What the fuck is up
with his tinted windows?
380
00:24:57,435 --> 00:25:00,903
He thinks
he's a drug lord, clearly.
381
00:25:00,905 --> 00:25:04,674
Right, because all drug lords drive
around in their shitty Jettas,
382
00:25:04,676 --> 00:25:07,243
listening to Carly Rae Jepsen.
383
00:25:07,245 --> 00:25:09,381
He truly loves her.
384
00:25:10,582 --> 00:25:12,217
He's not being ironic?
385
00:25:12,984 --> 00:25:14,550
- No.
- Fuck.
386
00:25:17,389 --> 00:25:20,323
Did he always used to
put your nose in his mouth?
387
00:25:20,325 --> 00:25:21,658
Literally all the time.
388
00:25:21,660 --> 00:25:23,760
What, is that
supposed to be sexy?
389
00:25:23,762 --> 00:25:25,764
I have no idea.
I actually had to Google it.
390
00:25:27,666 --> 00:25:32,435
What about when he grabs your boob
like it is a tightly-sealed jar?
391
00:25:32,437 --> 00:25:34,237
- Okay, thank you.
- Yes.
392
00:25:34,239 --> 00:25:36,274
I would get freakin' bruises.
393
00:25:39,477 --> 00:25:42,514
What about when he refers to
his dick as a quidditch stick?
394
00:25:47,318 --> 00:25:49,888
He... He hasn't done that
with me.
395
00:25:57,562 --> 00:25:59,497
I think we should
make some rules.
396
00:26:00,532 --> 00:26:02,467
- I concur.
- Cool.
397
00:26:05,804 --> 00:26:08,805
First rule,
no talking about Nick.
398
00:26:08,807 --> 00:26:10,973
Second rule, no telling Nick.
399
00:26:10,975 --> 00:26:14,977
Ooh. Okay, so rule 2B
should be no social media.
400
00:26:14,979 --> 00:26:17,814
- That's so smart.
- Yeah.
401
00:26:17,816 --> 00:26:20,750
And if things get weird,
we have to tell each other.
402
00:26:20,752 --> 00:26:22,587
- These are really good rules.
- Yeah.
403
00:26:24,289 --> 00:26:25,621
I feel like we're
in Fight Club.
404
00:26:25,623 --> 00:26:29,292
Yeah. You can be Brad
Pitt and I'll be George Clooney.
405
00:26:29,294 --> 00:26:33,362
Well, you can be George Clooney if
you want, but he wasn't in Fight Club.
406
00:26:33,364 --> 00:26:36,768
Oh. Well, I watched it
when I was on whip-its.
407
00:26:37,769 --> 00:26:39,635
Okay, is this crazy?
408
00:26:39,637 --> 00:26:41,337
Probably.
409
00:26:45,710 --> 00:26:50,379
So, um, should we, like,
make out now, or...
410
00:26:50,381 --> 00:26:51,950
I did already
touch your boob.
411
00:26:52,917 --> 00:26:54,786
- That's true.
- Yeah.
412
00:26:58,089 --> 00:26:59,424
Good night.
413
00:27:04,629 --> 00:27:09,465
Just so, um, we're clear,
I'm not actually a lesbian.
414
00:27:09,467 --> 00:27:12,935
I feel like I've been giving you
some lesbian undertones and, like...
415
00:27:12,937 --> 00:27:16,674
I did... I did, uh,
make out with my friend Sally once...
416
00:27:17,976 --> 00:27:19,408
but I didn't enjoy it.
417
00:27:19,410 --> 00:27:20,943
- I was worried. I'm glad.
- Yeah.
418
00:27:20,945 --> 00:27:22,914
Thank you for the clarification.
419
00:27:25,850 --> 00:27:28,620
You can drive away now.
420
00:27:31,956 --> 00:27:33,892
- Bye!
- Bye!
421
00:27:37,896 --> 00:27:39,731
Whoo! Clara!
422
00:27:58,016 --> 00:27:59,081
No!
423
00:28:07,091 --> 00:28:09,494
- I got him for you.
- For me?
424
00:28:21,105 --> 00:28:22,038
It's bad.
425
00:28:22,040 --> 00:28:23,675
Clara to the stockroom.
426
00:28:25,543 --> 00:28:27,476
Clara, please come to the back.
427
00:28:27,478 --> 00:28:29,047
Yep. That's what
we're gonna do.
428
00:29:19,231 --> 00:29:20,732
Do you want a bite
of my patty melt?
429
00:29:21,833 --> 00:29:23,532
I'll have a bite
of the bread part.
430
00:29:23,534 --> 00:29:25,501
Just the toast?
431
00:29:25,503 --> 00:29:27,837
- I don't wanna ingest weird meat.
- No.
432
00:29:27,839 --> 00:29:29,007
Open your mind.
433
00:29:30,541 --> 00:29:32,110
Right there. The cheesy part.
434
00:29:32,844 --> 00:29:33,845
Fine.
435
00:29:38,616 --> 00:29:41,019
- Oh, my God. Mmm.
- It's so good, right?
436
00:29:43,755 --> 00:29:45,821
- What?
- Nothin'.
437
00:29:45,823 --> 00:29:48,791
Just the first time
I get to see you guys in action.
438
00:29:48,793 --> 00:29:49,794
And?
439
00:29:51,263 --> 00:29:53,095
And I feel like a traitor.
440
00:29:53,097 --> 00:29:54,364
Oh, you're blowing this
out of proportion.
441
00:29:54,366 --> 00:29:57,702
Yeah, maybe we measure proportions
differently, you and I...
442
00:29:58,670 --> 00:30:00,503
And Nick.
443
00:30:00,505 --> 00:30:02,538
- Are you gonna tell him?
- Hmm?
444
00:30:02,540 --> 00:30:05,641
- Are you a rat, Benjamin?
- Yeah, a cheese-eating rat?
445
00:30:05,643 --> 00:30:07,576
Do you wanna know
what happens to rats?
446
00:30:07,578 --> 00:30:11,181
- They get their toes cut off.
- They get shanked in their sleep.
447
00:30:11,183 --> 00:30:13,983
They get their carbon monoxide
detectors disabled.
448
00:30:13,985 --> 00:30:16,852
They get their sunscreen stolen,
you ginger fuck.
449
00:30:16,854 --> 00:30:18,120
There it is.
450
00:30:18,122 --> 00:30:19,855
Yeah.
451
00:30:19,857 --> 00:30:22,159
You guys are perfect
for each other, you know that?
452
00:30:23,628 --> 00:30:24,662
Oh, shoot.
453
00:30:26,265 --> 00:30:28,533
- Oh, I need to take mine, too.
- Yeah.
454
00:30:28,933 --> 00:30:30,666
What?
455
00:30:30,668 --> 00:30:32,835
- Benjamin, what day is it?
- It is Tuesday.
456
00:30:32,837 --> 00:30:34,605
- Tuesday.
- Tuesday.
457
00:30:42,981 --> 00:30:44,183
So, what's up with April?
458
00:30:45,783 --> 00:30:47,284
You mean Clara?
459
00:30:47,286 --> 00:30:48,784
No, I saw Clara yesterday.
460
00:30:48,786 --> 00:30:49,921
I meant April.
461
00:30:53,958 --> 00:30:57,495
Don't go to your weird,
silent place.
462
00:30:58,763 --> 00:31:00,098
Give me the shit.
463
00:31:02,567 --> 00:31:03,568
Um...
464
00:31:04,635 --> 00:31:06,236
Yeah, uh,
I don't really know.
465
00:31:06,238 --> 00:31:09,705
I guess she's...
She's still, um, working at The Palace.
466
00:31:09,707 --> 00:31:10,708
Hmm.
467
00:31:11,909 --> 00:31:13,511
Is she hookin' up
with anyone?
468
00:31:25,056 --> 00:31:26,989
I'm way too high
for this shit.
469
00:31:26,991 --> 00:31:28,926
Dude, what shit?
470
00:31:30,795 --> 00:31:33,263
Look, she doesn't tell me anything
because she knows I'd tell you...
471
00:31:33,265 --> 00:31:35,232
So, you are
talking to her, then.
472
00:31:35,234 --> 00:31:39,302
Let's not talk about 'em back to back
like this. It makes everything weird.
473
00:31:39,304 --> 00:31:42,071
All right, dude. You're the one
who brought her up, not me.
474
00:31:42,073 --> 00:31:44,008
What? Which one?
475
00:31:46,811 --> 00:31:49,945
Clara, dude. Are you okay?
476
00:31:54,353 --> 00:31:56,321
Ooh, you're done, dude.
477
00:31:56,954 --> 00:31:58,020
You're toast.
478
00:32:02,927 --> 00:32:04,163
It's a normal question.
479
00:32:05,397 --> 00:32:06,896
I don't know.
480
00:32:06,898 --> 00:32:08,931
How many people
have entered you?
481
00:32:08,933 --> 00:32:12,369
Can we not talk about my vagina
like it's a room, please?
482
00:32:13,738 --> 00:32:14,872
I asked you first.
483
00:32:18,709 --> 00:32:19,710
One.
484
00:32:21,712 --> 00:32:22,780
So...
485
00:32:23,981 --> 00:32:24,982
Yeah.
486
00:32:26,318 --> 00:32:27,319
Got it.
487
00:32:28,986 --> 00:32:31,120
- And?
- What?
488
00:32:31,122 --> 00:32:33,057
- It's your turn, woman.
- Mmm...
489
00:32:34,125 --> 00:32:36,259
- Four...
- That's not that bad.
490
00:32:36,261 --> 00:32:38,428
...teen.
491
00:32:38,430 --> 00:32:40,397
What? There's not
a lot to do in Fresno.
492
00:32:40,399 --> 00:32:42,199
I'm not judging you.
493
00:32:42,201 --> 00:32:45,335
Good, 'cause if I were a man,
you'd call me awesome.
494
00:32:45,337 --> 00:32:47,204
Well, you are awesome.
495
00:32:47,206 --> 00:32:49,738
I don't even think
I know 14 full people.
496
00:32:53,111 --> 00:32:54,112
Who were they?
497
00:32:56,047 --> 00:32:57,081
Well...
498
00:33:00,885 --> 00:33:03,220
I lost my virginity to Henry.
499
00:33:03,222 --> 00:33:06,023
It took him three times
to break my hymen.
500
00:33:07,692 --> 00:33:10,160
And then, there was Dario.
501
00:33:10,162 --> 00:33:12,295
He was an exchange student
from Palermo,
502
00:33:12,297 --> 00:33:14,797
and he taught me
how to make pasta.
503
00:33:14,799 --> 00:33:16,235
He also gave me chlamydia.
504
00:33:17,169 --> 00:33:19,469
So who was number three?
505
00:33:19,471 --> 00:33:23,105
Oh, no, Dario was,
like, number six.
506
00:33:23,107 --> 00:33:24,807
I'm just giving you
the highlights.
507
00:33:24,809 --> 00:33:27,412
What, you want me to tell you
about all 14 of them, you weirdo?
508
00:33:28,746 --> 00:33:31,080
And then there was Micah.
509
00:33:31,082 --> 00:33:32,915
From summer camp.
510
00:33:32,917 --> 00:33:35,218
We were counselors together.
511
00:33:35,220 --> 00:33:36,719
And then he cheated on me.
512
00:33:37,955 --> 00:33:39,123
I really liked him.
513
00:33:40,958 --> 00:33:43,728
God, I just wanna be
disrespected like once.
514
00:33:44,962 --> 00:33:46,265
You really don't.
515
00:33:48,900 --> 00:33:50,269
Were any of them serious?
516
00:33:55,907 --> 00:33:56,974
Not really.
517
00:33:58,243 --> 00:33:59,244
What about Ben?
518
00:34:00,044 --> 00:34:01,078
What about him?
519
00:34:02,314 --> 00:34:03,846
Have you ever...
520
00:34:03,848 --> 00:34:05,981
Oh, my God, no!
521
00:34:05,983 --> 00:34:10,052
That would be like incest.
Not the hot kind.
522
00:34:10,054 --> 00:34:12,121
What is the hot kind of incest?
523
00:34:12,123 --> 00:34:15,327
It's like a sexy stepbrother or something.
524
00:34:17,262 --> 00:34:19,196
You should do Ben.
525
00:34:19,198 --> 00:34:22,898
Oh, I don't know. I can't picture
him having an actual penis, you know?
526
00:34:22,900 --> 00:34:24,867
Oh, no, he does.
527
00:34:24,869 --> 00:34:28,405
I mean, unless some sort of accident
has happened since our baths.
528
00:34:28,407 --> 00:34:32,242
Ah. Yes, your famous baths.
529
00:34:32,244 --> 00:34:34,076
A massive baby peen.
530
00:34:39,551 --> 00:34:42,918
You know, Ben is also
best friends with...
531
00:34:42,920 --> 00:34:44,387
Right.
532
00:34:44,389 --> 00:34:47,192
- And you and Nick, you're...
- Rules.
533
00:34:47,892 --> 00:34:49,060
Oh, right.
534
00:34:57,269 --> 00:34:58,337
Hey, baby.
535
00:35:03,874 --> 00:35:04,875
Hey.
536
00:35:05,810 --> 00:35:07,011
I've really missed you.
537
00:35:08,580 --> 00:35:12,083
You don't know how lost
I've been without you.
538
00:35:14,051 --> 00:35:15,886
That's all I've wanted to hear.
539
00:35:18,122 --> 00:35:20,856
I was only gone
for five minutes.
540
00:35:20,858 --> 00:35:22,325
What?
541
00:35:22,327 --> 00:35:24,126
I should've been with you
from the very beginning.
542
00:35:24,128 --> 00:35:25,295
Hello?
543
00:35:25,297 --> 00:35:26,962
My little panda bear.
544
00:35:26,964 --> 00:35:28,331
You're my little lemur.
545
00:35:28,333 --> 00:35:30,966
I'm the lemur.
I'm the lemur!
546
00:35:30,968 --> 00:35:32,235
I fuckin' love lemurs.
547
00:35:33,838 --> 00:35:36,872
Driver? Shut the partition.
548
00:35:36,874 --> 00:35:39,177
'Cause we gonna fuck!
549
00:35:41,912 --> 00:35:43,415
It sucks
being third wheel, huh?
550
00:36:03,067 --> 00:36:05,067
Where have you been?
551
00:36:05,069 --> 00:36:07,004
You know, just hangin' out.
552
00:36:08,072 --> 00:36:10,039
With who?
553
00:36:10,041 --> 00:36:12,342
Various people.
Get out of my closet.
554
00:36:12,344 --> 00:36:14,076
So you're rebound fucking?
555
00:36:14,078 --> 00:36:15,412
What? No.
556
00:36:15,414 --> 00:36:18,947
Rebounds are healthy.
I had two after your father found Maria.
557
00:36:18,949 --> 00:36:20,650
- Mom.
- What the fuck, Mom?
558
00:36:20,652 --> 00:36:24,121
Look, I am a three-dimensional
human being who's had sex.
559
00:36:24,489 --> 00:36:25,722
And UTIs.
560
00:36:25,724 --> 00:36:30,993
And I have this little vibrator,
and I have had many orgasms.
561
00:36:30,995 --> 00:36:33,896
Your father put his penis
into me and you two came out.
562
00:36:33,898 --> 00:36:36,433
- Stop talking forever!
- Okay, never again, Mom!
563
00:36:36,435 --> 00:36:38,268
Fine. Fine.
564
00:36:38,270 --> 00:36:39,569
Who is the rebound with?
565
00:36:39,571 --> 00:36:42,372
If you say you're back with
Nick, I'll actually kill myself.
566
00:36:42,374 --> 00:36:46,977
It's not Nick. It's not a rebound.
It's just, like, this girl.
567
00:36:47,646 --> 00:36:49,379
Oh, shit!
568
00:36:49,381 --> 00:36:51,314
- That's not what I meant.
- What did you mean?
569
00:36:51,316 --> 00:36:53,216
Do you just finger each other
really hard?
570
00:36:53,218 --> 00:36:55,951
Okay! It is platonic,
and can you leave now?
571
00:36:55,953 --> 00:36:57,554
How did you know
about fingering?
572
00:36:57,556 --> 00:37:00,490
I'm 13, Mom.
I know all about fingering.
573
00:37:00,492 --> 00:37:04,461
I find that shocking. I did not
know about fingering until college.
574
00:37:04,463 --> 00:37:07,996
I find that shocking after your
history lesson on your vagina.
575
00:37:07,998 --> 00:37:12,537
I did that to illustrate a point,
not to humiliate your sister.
576
00:37:19,110 --> 00:37:20,278
A whale!
577
00:37:20,645 --> 00:37:21,646
What?
578
00:37:22,414 --> 00:37:23,548
There was no whale.
579
00:37:24,383 --> 00:37:26,349
I just want your attention.
580
00:37:26,351 --> 00:37:30,255
- Oh. I'm just tryin' to get my shift covered at work.
- Hmm.
581
00:37:34,426 --> 00:37:35,427
Okay.
582
00:37:36,728 --> 00:37:38,161
Can we roll around
and make out now?
583
00:37:38,163 --> 00:37:39,564
- Yes.
- Finally.
584
00:37:43,602 --> 00:37:46,236
People think that
Pirates of the Caribbean
585
00:37:46,238 --> 00:37:49,339
was like the best adaptation
of a Disneyland ride,
586
00:37:49,341 --> 00:37:52,442
but I really don't think
Tomorrowland got enough credit.
587
00:37:52,444 --> 00:37:55,211
Tomorrowland is a land,
not a ride.
588
00:37:55,213 --> 00:37:57,682
Hmm. That's actually
a really good point.
589
00:38:01,753 --> 00:38:04,554
Would you wanna
go sometime?
590
00:38:04,556 --> 00:38:06,324
I have...
I have a Platinum Pass.
591
00:38:07,759 --> 00:38:09,628
Oi! Krillholtz!
592
00:38:13,432 --> 00:38:14,932
Yeah. Yup.
593
00:38:17,469 --> 00:38:18,470
Really quick.
594
00:38:19,337 --> 00:38:20,670
You ready to go?
595
00:38:20,672 --> 00:38:24,209
I mean, yes, but technically I
have like two more hours of this.
596
00:38:26,311 --> 00:38:27,345
Here you go.
597
00:38:28,513 --> 00:38:30,348
For when you have
real keys one day.
598
00:38:36,221 --> 00:38:37,353
Clara.
599
00:38:37,355 --> 00:38:39,458
Okay, don't be weird about it.
It's just a keychain.
600
00:38:41,593 --> 00:38:42,661
Okay, let's go.
601
00:38:43,628 --> 00:38:46,229
Where are we going?
Where do you wanna go?
602
00:38:46,231 --> 00:38:49,131
Wherever your heart desires.
603
00:38:49,133 --> 00:38:50,134
Okay.
604
00:38:52,604 --> 00:38:55,273
- Palm Springs?
- What's in Palm Springs?
605
00:38:56,274 --> 00:38:59,209
I don't know.
It's pretty far.
606
00:38:59,211 --> 00:39:01,377
Ooh, maybe we could get
mochis from Trader Joe's.
607
00:39:01,379 --> 00:39:03,381
No, fuck that.
We're going to Palm Springs.
608
00:39:22,834 --> 00:39:24,300
My dear...
609
00:39:26,136 --> 00:39:27,804
I don't do deep breaths.
610
00:39:27,806 --> 00:39:30,640
Just breathe. Look. He's right there.
It's gonna be super simple.
611
00:39:30,642 --> 00:39:34,412
Palm Springs, Palm Springs,
Palm Springs.
612
00:39:44,756 --> 00:39:45,955
Oh, my God.
613
00:39:45,957 --> 00:39:50,760
I heard acid can get, like,
stuck in your spinal column
614
00:39:50,762 --> 00:39:52,495
and then you have
flashbacks forever.
615
00:39:52,497 --> 00:39:56,366
Yeah. Less talking
and more drugs, please.
616
00:39:56,368 --> 00:39:59,704
Maybe when we're home, when we're in
like a really familiar environment...
617
00:40:02,807 --> 00:40:04,209
You're welcome.
618
00:40:21,793 --> 00:40:23,361
The colors.
619
00:40:24,796 --> 00:40:27,799
Lango Faringi!
620
00:40:34,138 --> 00:40:37,742
Snucky plonko!
621
00:40:41,846 --> 00:40:43,615
Garmu!
622
00:40:56,695 --> 00:40:58,363
Are mine too blue?
623
00:41:00,498 --> 00:41:01,499
Huh.
624
00:41:02,901 --> 00:41:05,437
I think it means
you have enough oxygen.
625
00:41:06,571 --> 00:41:08,571
Or it means something
is wrong with me,
626
00:41:08,573 --> 00:41:10,775
and that's why
I'm always really cold.
627
00:41:13,778 --> 00:41:15,513
Is this betters?
628
00:41:23,722 --> 00:41:27,525
What am I gonna do when I'm
freezing in Boston without you?
629
00:41:29,761 --> 00:41:32,464
Wear a jacket
made of my skin.
630
00:41:36,935 --> 00:41:38,336
Okay, but...
631
00:41:39,871 --> 00:41:42,271
how am I gonna make friends?
632
00:41:42,273 --> 00:41:46,342
What are you talking about?
You're gonna make so many new friends.
633
00:41:46,344 --> 00:41:49,912
I'm not cool
and confident like you.
634
00:41:49,914 --> 00:41:52,917
I can't just move somewhere
and figure everything out.
635
00:41:53,652 --> 00:41:55,518
Are you kidding me?
636
00:41:55,520 --> 00:41:58,156
I have nothing figured out.
You, you have...
637
00:41:59,491 --> 00:42:00,925
this whole path.
638
00:42:03,595 --> 00:42:04,663
I really don't.
639
00:42:06,364 --> 00:42:07,932
At least you have a plan.
640
00:42:08,700 --> 00:42:11,534
I suck at making plans.
641
00:42:11,536 --> 00:42:13,371
I don't even know
what I care about.
642
00:42:14,773 --> 00:42:16,775
What about canary school?
643
00:42:17,842 --> 00:42:21,246
Like studying birds?
644
00:42:32,824 --> 00:42:35,324
- I meant... You know what I meant?
- Hmm?
645
00:42:35,326 --> 00:42:36,893
I meant culinary.
646
00:42:36,895 --> 00:42:41,931
I made dinner for you
one time. Once.
647
00:42:41,933 --> 00:42:46,269
Yeah, but you'd be like the
coolest chef on the planet...
648
00:42:46,271 --> 00:42:49,607
like with a bunch of tattoos,
getting to cook pasta all day.
649
00:43:04,489 --> 00:43:06,224
I miss my family.
650
00:43:09,327 --> 00:43:10,628
You can have mine.
651
00:43:14,032 --> 00:43:15,500
Can I meet them?
652
00:43:16,801 --> 00:43:18,303
You really want to?
653
00:43:19,537 --> 00:43:20,605
I really do.
654
00:43:25,543 --> 00:43:26,544
Hey.
655
00:43:27,378 --> 00:43:28,379
Hmm?
656
00:43:32,450 --> 00:43:33,785
You're my best friend.
657
00:43:38,923 --> 00:43:40,658
You're my best friend.
658
00:43:52,470 --> 00:43:54,937
I learned about Fresno once
during social studies.
659
00:43:54,939 --> 00:43:56,906
It was part of the Gold Rush.
660
00:43:56,908 --> 00:43:59,277
Interesting.
But I don't think it was.
661
00:44:00,612 --> 00:44:01,911
Well, maybe I'm confused.
662
00:44:01,913 --> 00:44:04,614
Maybe Fresno is just famous for
having a bunch of whorehouses.
663
00:44:04,616 --> 00:44:05,882
Agnes.
664
00:44:07,886 --> 00:44:10,987
I, uh... I drove through Fresno
once on my way to San Francisco.
665
00:44:10,989 --> 00:44:12,256
It looked really nice.
666
00:44:12,258 --> 00:44:14,524
Oh. Well, that's because you didn't stop.
667
00:44:16,127 --> 00:44:18,528
So, how long
have you been here?
668
00:44:18,530 --> 00:44:20,630
- A month and a half.
- Oh, do you like it?
669
00:44:20,632 --> 00:44:23,866
Yeah. I'm still tryin' to
figure everything out, but yeah.
670
00:44:23,868 --> 00:44:25,568
How did you and April meet?
671
00:44:25,570 --> 00:44:27,069
How about you let her
chew her food, Mom?
672
00:44:27,071 --> 00:44:29,939
No, Mom.
That was such a great question.
673
00:44:29,941 --> 00:44:32,610
I mean, considering
she's fucking Nick.
674
00:44:35,013 --> 00:44:36,946
I am seriously going to
fuck you up.
675
00:44:36,948 --> 00:44:38,648
- Girls!
- Maybe I should go.
676
00:44:38,650 --> 00:44:40,082
No! Agnes should go.
677
00:44:40,084 --> 00:44:41,884
Why are you mad at me?
You should be mad at her!
678
00:44:41,886 --> 00:44:43,786
- You're insane.
- I'm in love.
679
00:44:43,788 --> 00:44:45,121
With my ex-boyfriend!
680
00:44:45,123 --> 00:44:47,390
You mean with her
current boyfriend, you dumbass!
681
00:44:47,392 --> 00:44:48,958
Okay, I'm sorry.
She loves Nick?
682
00:44:48,960 --> 00:44:50,726
Stay out of it, slut!
683
00:44:50,728 --> 00:44:54,332
All right.
Are you really seeing him?
684
00:45:00,071 --> 00:45:03,539
Thank you.
Thank you for the salmon.
685
00:45:03,541 --> 00:45:05,543
- Good riddance.
- Clara...
686
00:45:06,811 --> 00:45:08,077
Suck my dick, Agnes.
687
00:45:08,079 --> 00:45:09,745
- You suck my dick.
- You suck my dick.
688
00:45:09,747 --> 00:45:11,047
- You suck my dick!
- No, you suck my dick!
689
00:45:11,049 --> 00:45:13,484
Enough with the dick sucking!
690
00:45:36,441 --> 00:45:39,176
Wow. This is
impressive wrapping.
691
00:45:49,053 --> 00:45:50,455
Are you sayin' I'm smelly?
692
00:45:50,889 --> 00:45:51,956
Sometimes.
693
00:45:53,858 --> 00:45:56,058
Do you want your real present?
694
00:45:56,060 --> 00:45:57,061
Yes.
695
00:46:01,200 --> 00:46:02,600
For you.
696
00:46:08,606 --> 00:46:11,874
- You love it?
- No way! No way!
697
00:46:11,876 --> 00:46:14,710
- It's limited edition.
- I know. I love it!
698
00:46:14,712 --> 00:46:17,749
Holy cow! Yeah!
699
00:46:18,049 --> 00:46:19,617
No! Stop!
700
00:46:21,119 --> 00:46:23,819
I don't wanna
smell like a boy!
701
00:46:28,160 --> 00:46:30,660
Spare some shampoo,
Dumbledore?
702
00:46:30,662 --> 00:46:32,495
Oh.
703
00:46:32,497 --> 00:46:36,034
You mean this bottle of Pantene,
which is actually a horcrux?
704
00:46:36,734 --> 00:46:39,502
Accio Pantene.
705
00:46:39,504 --> 00:46:42,038
Wingardium leviosa Pantene.
706
00:46:42,040 --> 00:46:44,174
Protego Pantene.
707
00:46:44,176 --> 00:46:46,511
Expecto patronus Pantene.
708
00:46:51,649 --> 00:46:54,652
- Do you like this manly beard?
- Yes, I do.
709
00:47:10,269 --> 00:47:11,936
I love you.
710
00:47:13,205 --> 00:47:15,071
I love you harder.
711
00:48:13,798 --> 00:48:14,964
- Great. Yeah.
- Did you see that?
712
00:48:14,966 --> 00:48:17,666
- I thought...
- Yeah, right. It's beginner's luck.
713
00:48:17,668 --> 00:48:20,337
- You look so cute. You're so cute.
- Natch.
714
00:48:34,286 --> 00:48:36,087
Santa Barbara's not that far.
715
00:48:37,088 --> 00:48:39,158
I could come see you
on the weekends.
716
00:48:39,624 --> 00:48:40,625
Yeah.
717
00:48:59,677 --> 00:49:02,745
- So should I just invite Nick, or...
- That's not funny.
718
00:49:02,747 --> 00:49:05,184
- I think it'd be pretty funny.
- Well, we don't.
719
00:49:06,717 --> 00:49:08,717
April gets to invite her friend.
Why can't I invite mine?
720
00:49:08,719 --> 00:49:11,254
- I'm your friend, too, Ben.
- Ah, but you're also Nick's.
721
00:49:11,256 --> 00:49:13,122
- Can you not say his name?
- Why?
722
00:49:13,124 --> 00:49:14,859
Because we have rules.
723
00:49:17,028 --> 00:49:19,128
Oh, yeah, that's, uh...
That's great.
724
00:49:19,130 --> 00:49:21,030
That's really gonna keep
this whole thing together, huh?
725
00:49:21,032 --> 00:49:22,800
And speak of the devil.
726
00:49:23,668 --> 00:49:25,067
Okay.
727
00:49:25,069 --> 00:49:26,169
Hey, Nick, buddy.
728
00:49:26,171 --> 00:49:27,970
Hey, what's up?
You wanna go eat?
729
00:49:27,972 --> 00:49:29,738
Yeah, actually
I'm eating right now.
730
00:49:29,740 --> 00:49:31,974
- I 'm gonna fucking kill you.
- Um...
731
00:49:31,976 --> 00:49:33,077
With my cousin.
732
00:49:34,912 --> 00:49:36,745
Ger... Gerald.
733
00:49:36,747 --> 00:49:39,282
You have a cousin named Gerald?
734
00:49:39,284 --> 00:49:41,151
Well, where are you at?
I'll just come meet you.
735
00:49:41,153 --> 00:49:43,886
- He wants to meet up.
- Tell him you're far away, dingus.
736
00:49:43,888 --> 00:49:46,956
I'm... I'm far away.
At a fair.
737
00:49:46,958 --> 00:49:48,124
- You're at a fair?
- No.
738
00:49:48,126 --> 00:49:49,925
- Don't say "affair."
- Not "affair."
739
00:49:49,927 --> 00:49:53,230
A fair, as in like a fair with a Fer...
Ferris wheel.
740
00:49:53,232 --> 00:49:54,464
Not "affair."
741
00:49:54,466 --> 00:49:56,031
He's my cousin,
that would be...
742
00:49:56,033 --> 00:49:58,067
That would be incest.
743
00:49:58,069 --> 00:49:59,171
And not the hot kind.
744
00:50:02,006 --> 00:50:03,306
You're digging a hole.
745
00:50:03,308 --> 00:50:05,908
Yeah, buddy, anyway,
me and Gerald are just diggin' holes
746
00:50:05,910 --> 00:50:07,977
- at the fair, and, um...
- Dude.
747
00:50:07,979 --> 00:50:09,446
How fucked up
are you right now?
748
00:50:09,448 --> 00:50:10,913
You wanna
hang up the phone now?
749
00:50:10,915 --> 00:50:12,249
I gotta... Gerald's...
I gotta, man...
750
00:50:12,251 --> 00:50:13,949
I gotta go.
I love you, though.
751
00:50:13,951 --> 00:50:16,253
Be safe. Bye! Bye. Bye.
752
00:50:16,255 --> 00:50:18,821
- What the fuck was that?
- Why would you pick up?
753
00:50:18,823 --> 00:50:20,825
Oh, why would you put me
in this position?
754
00:50:21,293 --> 00:50:22,925
How 'bout that?
755
00:50:33,004 --> 00:50:34,937
See how easy that was?
756
00:50:34,939 --> 00:50:36,406
That was...
757
00:50:36,408 --> 00:50:40,042
You guys are like two geniuses who
use the pull-out method, you know?
758
00:50:40,044 --> 00:50:43,380
One day you're gonna fuck
while you're ovulating,
759
00:50:43,382 --> 00:50:46,316
and you're going to
have a baby.
760
00:50:46,318 --> 00:50:48,453
Well, I like the pull-out method, so...
761
00:50:52,123 --> 00:50:53,458
Holy shit.
762
00:50:54,959 --> 00:50:56,091
And he knows.
763
00:50:56,093 --> 00:50:57,396
Why is he calling you?
764
00:50:58,497 --> 00:50:59,929
I don't know.
765
00:50:59,931 --> 00:51:02,365
He's outside right now.
With a machete.
766
00:51:02,367 --> 00:51:03,999
And he's gonna
cut us into cubes,
767
00:51:04,001 --> 00:51:06,003
and he's gonna put us in
trash cans all over the city.
768
00:51:08,407 --> 00:51:10,507
I'm gonna let it
go to voicemail.
769
00:51:10,509 --> 00:51:12,211
You should see what he wants.
770
00:51:12,511 --> 00:51:14,177
What?
771
00:51:14,179 --> 00:51:15,180
What?
772
00:51:19,418 --> 00:51:20,483
Okay.
773
00:51:20,485 --> 00:51:21,486
Um...
774
00:51:22,521 --> 00:51:25,455
- Hello?
- Hey, dawg.
775
00:51:25,457 --> 00:51:26,922
How can I help you?
776
00:51:26,924 --> 00:51:29,892
By not talking to me
like you're a robot.
777
00:51:29,894 --> 00:51:32,231
- How can I help you, Nick?
- That's better.
778
00:51:33,498 --> 00:51:34,763
Thank you.
779
00:51:34,765 --> 00:51:37,500
I just wanted to call
and say thanks for the text.
780
00:51:37,502 --> 00:51:39,436
I didn't know
what to write back.
781
00:51:39,438 --> 00:51:41,371
- Uh-huh.
- So I just called instead,
782
00:51:41,373 --> 00:51:44,407
which, I guess,
creates the same kinda problem.
783
00:51:44,409 --> 00:51:47,109
Yeah, it kinda does.
So, um...
784
00:51:47,111 --> 00:51:52,182
Hey, I'm sorry about Clara.
785
00:51:52,184 --> 00:51:55,385
You know, it just...
It happened really fast and...
786
00:51:55,387 --> 00:51:59,955
Yeah. Um, you don't
need to explain anything.
787
00:51:59,957 --> 00:52:01,892
Ben says that
she's a great girl.
788
00:52:03,528 --> 00:52:04,529
Well...
789
00:52:10,469 --> 00:52:11,470
Okay.
790
00:52:12,404 --> 00:52:13,405
Bye.
791
00:52:15,274 --> 00:52:16,408
Bye, April.
792
00:52:22,414 --> 00:52:26,549
You just really felt the need
to text him "Happy Birthday"?
793
00:52:26,551 --> 00:52:30,919
You know, me talking to him or not
talking to him wasn't specified rules.
794
00:52:30,921 --> 00:52:33,891
Because it's...
so obvious.
795
00:52:38,430 --> 00:52:40,163
Are you still
in love with him?
796
00:52:40,165 --> 00:52:41,166
No.
797
00:52:43,067 --> 00:52:44,200
Are you in love with him?
798
00:52:44,202 --> 00:52:45,203
No.
799
00:52:46,305 --> 00:52:47,572
I would tell you that.
800
00:52:51,876 --> 00:52:53,312
There's a party on Saturday.
801
00:52:54,413 --> 00:52:57,913
You wanna go together,
like, in disguise?
802
00:52:57,915 --> 00:53:00,883
Is it that
Bruno Shabaz thing?
803
00:53:00,885 --> 00:53:02,252
Yeah. You know about that?
804
00:53:02,254 --> 00:53:03,620
Yeah.
805
00:53:03,622 --> 00:53:05,157
Uh, Nick's going.
806
00:53:08,193 --> 00:53:10,460
Okay, so let's just skip it.
807
00:53:10,462 --> 00:53:13,165
I was probably just gonna
go with him.
808
00:53:18,337 --> 00:53:19,338
Yeah.
809
00:53:25,444 --> 00:53:26,877
So...
810
00:53:27,679 --> 00:53:29,281
I'll just skip it.
811
00:53:29,681 --> 00:53:30,881
Cool.
812
00:53:34,453 --> 00:53:35,454
Cool.
813
00:53:46,698 --> 00:53:49,501
Well, whatever.
I'm so over high school parties anyways.
814
00:53:50,702 --> 00:53:54,237
- Yeah, me, too.
- Yeah, we've evolved.
815
00:53:54,239 --> 00:53:57,139
Your ID is kinda bootleg, though.
816
00:53:57,141 --> 00:53:59,242
It says you're vision impaired?
817
00:53:59,244 --> 00:54:01,511
I did that for realism.
818
00:54:01,513 --> 00:54:04,216
Okay, but it says
that you're 5'11".
819
00:54:05,116 --> 00:54:07,049
That was a typo.
820
00:54:07,051 --> 00:54:09,386
You should've got it done
from these guys that we met.
821
00:54:09,388 --> 00:54:12,020
- They're Romanian.
- Mmm-hmm.
822
00:54:12,022 --> 00:54:15,625
I mean, if I don't get in,
we can just do something else.
823
00:54:15,627 --> 00:54:18,263
You're gonna get in.
It's gonna be fun.
824
00:54:19,231 --> 00:54:20,963
Yay.
825
00:54:20,965 --> 00:54:24,099
Oh, we're gonna
miss you so much!
826
00:54:24,101 --> 00:54:26,436
Oh, you have to
visit us in Miami!
827
00:54:26,438 --> 00:54:27,606
Oh, my God.
828
00:54:28,206 --> 00:54:29,674
Oh, my God!
829
00:55:00,739 --> 00:55:02,705
Bold move, Krillholtz.
830
00:55:02,707 --> 00:55:04,374
Are they in the vicinity?
831
00:55:04,376 --> 00:55:06,509
Why? What do you
have planned?
832
00:55:06,511 --> 00:55:08,711
Nothing. I wanna stay as far
away as humanly possible.
833
00:55:08,713 --> 00:55:10,145
Right. Okay,
they're over there,
834
00:55:10,147 --> 00:55:11,949
- so we're gonna go this way and have a great time...
- Thanks, Ben.
835
00:55:13,185 --> 00:55:14,286
That's not chill.
836
00:55:25,430 --> 00:55:26,531
What'd you expect?
837
00:55:33,605 --> 00:55:35,273
- Thank you.
- Mmm.
838
00:55:37,609 --> 00:55:39,776
Pass me that bottle
of brown stuff.
839
00:55:39,778 --> 00:55:42,712
I'm not passing you
licorice schnapps.
840
00:55:42,714 --> 00:55:43,515
Why not?
841
00:55:46,384 --> 00:55:48,286
Because you're not
a homeless person.
842
00:55:50,155 --> 00:55:51,523
Ugh!
843
00:55:53,758 --> 00:55:56,495
- Well, that's rich.
- What?
844
00:56:00,465 --> 00:56:01,566
Ah.
845
00:56:02,434 --> 00:56:03,366
Hmm.
846
00:56:03,368 --> 00:56:05,802
- Are you okay?
- Yeah.
847
00:56:05,804 --> 00:56:10,105
It's just, uh... that girl
Ben was with earlier...
848
00:56:10,107 --> 00:56:11,710
You mean your ex-girlfriend?
849
00:56:13,545 --> 00:56:15,678
How do you know about that?
850
00:56:15,680 --> 00:56:17,447
I have the Internet.
851
00:56:19,484 --> 00:56:21,551
Who's Brad Pitt?
852
00:56:21,553 --> 00:56:27,757
Um, that is my friend,
Olivia, from home.
853
00:56:27,759 --> 00:56:31,561
We're just, like,
obsessed with Fight Club.
854
00:56:31,563 --> 00:56:33,496
Maybe we should just go.
855
00:56:33,498 --> 00:56:36,299
Why should we go?
She can go.
856
00:56:36,301 --> 00:56:38,301
Right, but you know what?
I'll split the Lyft with ya,
857
00:56:38,303 --> 00:56:40,403
we can get some food on the way.
It'll be dope. Let's bounce. Let's go.
858
00:56:40,405 --> 00:56:43,640
I just got here. Why is everyone always
tryin' to get me to leave the party?
859
00:56:43,642 --> 00:56:47,544
Everyone isn't. Ben is,
in order to save lifelong relationships.
860
00:56:47,546 --> 00:56:49,146
You know what?
Let's just stay.
861
00:56:50,549 --> 00:56:51,683
And have fun.
862
00:56:53,652 --> 00:56:55,151
Yeah, okay. Fuck it.
863
00:56:55,153 --> 00:56:56,555
- Let's have fun. Cheers.
- Yeah.
864
00:56:57,856 --> 00:56:59,289
Do you wanna go?
865
00:56:59,291 --> 00:57:01,190
No. Why?
866
00:57:01,192 --> 00:57:04,327
I mean, I don't know if
you're uncomfortable she's here.
867
00:57:04,329 --> 00:57:05,564
I'm not uncomfortable.
868
00:57:06,765 --> 00:57:08,498
Okay.
869
00:57:08,500 --> 00:57:09,701
Is it uncomfortable for you?
870
00:57:10,535 --> 00:57:11,536
No.
871
00:57:13,705 --> 00:57:15,240
I'm not uncomfortable at all.
872
00:57:22,914 --> 00:57:26,649
You know, there's a, like,
a really wicked EDM scene in Boulder,
873
00:57:26,651 --> 00:57:30,920
and they do, like,
these insane laser shows at Red Rocks.
874
00:57:30,922 --> 00:57:33,425
I didn't know you were
a laser enthusiast.
875
00:57:34,659 --> 00:57:37,327
I'm a huge laser enthusiast.
876
00:57:42,167 --> 00:57:44,469
That's one of the many things
that you don't know about me.
877
00:57:45,904 --> 00:57:47,339
I'm sorry.
878
00:57:49,341 --> 00:57:52,477
Man, it's gonna be weird when we
don't see each other regularly.
879
00:57:56,514 --> 00:57:58,450
I mean, you could
always come visit me.
880
00:57:59,818 --> 00:58:01,451
For sure.
881
00:58:01,453 --> 00:58:03,920
I'm gonna bring
my laser arsenal.
882
00:58:03,922 --> 00:58:05,788
- I mean, that was implied.
- Yeah.
883
00:58:05,790 --> 00:58:07,957
One goes like, "Pew-pew-pew."
884
00:58:07,959 --> 00:58:10,226
The others are like,
"Zing-zong, zing-zong."
885
00:58:10,228 --> 00:58:11,694
- Your lasers make noises?
- Uh-huh.
886
00:58:11,696 --> 00:58:14,366
Okay. That's... That's cool.
887
00:58:38,723 --> 00:58:39,824
Oh.
888
00:58:41,826 --> 00:58:43,361
Let's just go say hi.
889
00:58:43,728 --> 00:58:45,294
Uh...
890
00:58:45,296 --> 00:58:46,831
It's just weirder not to.
891
00:58:49,267 --> 00:58:51,934
- Hey, guys.
- Oh! Sorry.
892
00:58:51,936 --> 00:58:55,507
This is the dance party area.
For dancers.
893
00:58:57,809 --> 00:59:01,244
- Yo! Nick, what's up, man?
- What's up, man?
894
00:59:01,246 --> 00:59:02,947
Um, April, this is Clara.
895
00:59:04,349 --> 00:59:05,817
Nice to meet you.
896
00:59:07,519 --> 00:59:09,187
Nice to meet you, too, Claire.
897
00:59:09,554 --> 00:59:11,387
It's Clara.
898
00:59:11,389 --> 00:59:13,656
You have
a very firm handshake.
899
00:59:13,658 --> 00:59:15,992
- Very strong.
- So do you.
900
00:59:15,994 --> 00:59:19,529
- Do you work out?
- Do I work out my hands?
901
00:59:19,531 --> 00:59:23,466
Okay. I'm so glad we can all be
here, and it's not awkward.
902
00:59:23,468 --> 00:59:24,600
Right.
903
00:59:24,602 --> 00:59:27,437
Not all of us are
as drunk as you are.
904
00:59:27,439 --> 00:59:31,841
Well, it is the last party
of our high school.
905
00:59:31,843 --> 00:59:34,644
Seems like you're having
a difficult time moving on.
906
00:59:34,646 --> 00:59:38,614
Should we get shots?
I want shots. Shots.
907
00:59:38,616 --> 00:59:40,516
- Yes, please. Nick?
- Yes! Can't wait.
908
00:59:40,518 --> 00:59:42,654
Yes. That would be great.
I'll take one.
909
00:59:43,588 --> 00:59:45,922
Can we go, please?
910
00:59:45,924 --> 00:59:47,724
Actually, we're just gonna go.
911
00:59:47,726 --> 00:59:48,727
Yeah?
912
00:59:58,303 --> 00:59:59,738
Go ahead and say it.
913
01:00:00,939 --> 01:00:02,538
Say what?
914
01:00:02,540 --> 01:00:03,541
Everything.
915
01:00:05,043 --> 01:00:06,478
I'm an idiot.
916
01:00:08,646 --> 01:00:10,046
I don't think we should do this
in front of Steve.
917
01:00:10,048 --> 01:00:12,348
- Oh, fuck Steve! Come on.
- Jesus!
918
01:00:12,350 --> 01:00:14,751
This is what you've been
waiting for. Lay it on me.
919
01:00:14,753 --> 01:00:16,853
Yeah, well, what are you?
A dock worker?
920
01:00:16,855 --> 01:00:20,089
- Lay it on me!
- No yelling in the Lyft, please.
921
01:00:20,091 --> 01:00:23,559
Look, I don't have to tell you you're
an idiot. You know you're an idiot.
922
01:00:23,561 --> 01:00:25,762
- Well, she's the one who started it.
- We're not six years old, April!
923
01:00:25,764 --> 01:00:27,830
Oh, don't yell
in the Lyft, Ben!
924
01:00:27,832 --> 01:00:29,599
I thought you wanted me
to lay it on you.
925
01:00:29,601 --> 01:00:30,833
Well, I changed my mind.
926
01:00:30,835 --> 01:00:32,804
- What is it you want?
- I don't know.
927
01:00:42,680 --> 01:00:44,580
- Sorry.
- Get out!
928
01:00:44,582 --> 01:00:46,618
Like, get out here?
929
01:00:54,459 --> 01:00:55,627
Yeah, let's stop.
930
01:01:06,671 --> 01:01:08,538
- It's there.
- What?
931
01:01:08,540 --> 01:01:09,541
Nothing.
932
01:01:11,543 --> 01:01:12,544
Okay.
933
01:01:19,450 --> 01:01:22,554
- I'm gonna order a new car.
- Absolutely.
934
01:01:28,693 --> 01:01:30,562
- Surging.
- Is it?
935
01:02:28,820 --> 01:02:30,920
Are you here to murder me?
936
01:02:30,922 --> 01:02:33,758
I don't think murderers tell
their victims they're outside.
937
01:02:47,872 --> 01:02:49,040
Where's Clara?
938
01:02:51,743 --> 01:02:54,145
I don't know. She's at home.
939
01:02:56,481 --> 01:02:57,914
Did you leave
with Ben last night?
940
01:02:57,916 --> 01:03:00,217
We split a Lyft.
941
01:03:00,219 --> 01:03:03,220
Clara's tits looked
pretty vibrant last night.
942
01:03:03,222 --> 01:03:05,056
Can we not talk about her?
943
01:03:06,691 --> 01:03:07,692
Why?
944
01:03:08,559 --> 01:03:09,928
She's your girlfriend.
945
01:03:10,828 --> 01:03:12,463
She's not my girlfriend.
946
01:03:13,665 --> 01:03:15,965
Then what is she?
947
01:03:15,967 --> 01:03:17,936
This isn't the conversation
I wanna have.
948
01:03:19,204 --> 01:03:21,472
What conversation
did you wanna have?
949
01:03:27,578 --> 01:03:29,147
I think about you
all the time.
950
01:03:36,788 --> 01:03:39,689
And then,
seeing you last night...
951
01:03:39,691 --> 01:03:41,090
You broke up with me!
952
01:03:41,092 --> 01:03:43,695
- You broke up with me.
- After you brought it up.
953
01:03:44,929 --> 01:03:46,231
That was hypothetical.
954
01:03:49,067 --> 01:03:50,702
Don't you miss me at all?
955
01:04:01,746 --> 01:04:03,079
Oh.
956
01:04:03,081 --> 01:04:05,184
Okay. Oh!
957
01:04:42,920 --> 01:04:44,820
We out, motherfucka!
958
01:04:44,822 --> 01:04:46,789
Fuck you, Ms. Leinart!
959
01:04:46,791 --> 01:04:48,824
- Fuck you!
- Fuck you!
960
01:04:48,826 --> 01:04:52,030
- I hate your blazers!
- I hate you, Dad!
961
01:04:53,265 --> 01:04:55,365
Attention.
962
01:04:55,367 --> 01:04:59,269
April Krillholtz eats hummuswith her fingers.
963
01:04:59,271 --> 01:05:04,174
Attention. Nick Ellis can't
pronounce the word "arugula."
964
01:05:04,176 --> 01:05:05,841
Arugyula.
965
01:05:05,843 --> 01:05:08,178
- Arugula.
- Arugyula.
966
01:05:08,180 --> 01:05:09,945
Arugula.
967
01:05:09,947 --> 01:05:13,849
Attention. April Krillholtz used
to flirt with me in history class.
968
01:05:13,851 --> 01:05:16,919
Oh, my God. You texted me
cute little monkey emojis
969
01:05:16,921 --> 01:05:19,191
while we were learning about genocide.
970
01:05:20,259 --> 01:05:22,259
Yeah.
971
01:05:22,261 --> 01:05:24,729
It's 'cause I had
a demented crush on you.
972
01:05:26,365 --> 01:05:28,933
I'm pretty sure that you had
a crush on me, too.
973
01:05:33,238 --> 01:05:36,275
Attention. I'm pretty sure that
you had a crush on me, too.
974
01:05:38,310 --> 01:05:39,811
I don't recall.
975
01:05:42,747 --> 01:05:44,082
So then, we just...
976
01:05:45,983 --> 01:05:49,221
dated for two years
after that because...
977
01:05:55,294 --> 01:05:57,296
I had a huge crush on you.
978
01:06:42,274 --> 01:06:45,308
- You fucking lying whore.
- What?
979
01:06:45,310 --> 01:06:46,811
He broke up with me.
980
01:06:53,885 --> 01:06:56,051
Hey!
981
01:06:56,053 --> 01:06:58,020
- He just showed up at my house.
- Oh, really?
982
01:06:58,022 --> 01:07:00,055
How long after you showed up
at the party?
983
01:07:00,057 --> 01:07:03,893
- That's not why I went.
- Okay. Why'd you go?
984
01:07:03,895 --> 01:07:08,130
I had English with Bruno Shabaz.
You don't even know him!
985
01:07:08,132 --> 01:07:10,300
Bruno Shabaz is not the point!
986
01:07:10,302 --> 01:07:12,169
If it were the other way
around, you would've gone.
987
01:07:12,171 --> 01:07:14,337
You don't fucking know that!
988
01:07:14,339 --> 01:07:17,274
You loved boxing me
out of my own life.
989
01:07:17,276 --> 01:07:20,976
And you loved making me your
creepy boyfriend placeholder.
990
01:07:20,978 --> 01:07:22,077
That's not true!
991
01:07:22,079 --> 01:07:24,880
Using me so you could
sneak your way back to him!
992
01:07:24,882 --> 01:07:26,183
Well, at least you got
everything you wanted,
993
01:07:26,185 --> 01:07:29,386
acting like... Like he was your
wife and I was your mistress.
994
01:07:29,388 --> 01:07:31,754
I'm sure you
would've loved that, April.
995
01:07:31,756 --> 01:07:33,925
What the fuck does that mean?
996
01:07:35,294 --> 01:07:38,263
I am not the one that's
fucked like half of Fresno.
997
01:07:46,271 --> 01:07:50,407
Have fun on your bus ride
back to Mommy's.
998
01:07:50,409 --> 01:07:53,842
I was with him for two years.
You were with him for two months.
999
01:08:00,452 --> 01:08:02,154
You know you're fired, right?
1000
01:08:03,522 --> 01:08:08,493
You've, uh, exhibited limited
personal growth, so...
1001
01:08:16,568 --> 01:08:17,969
We have to tell Nick.
1002
01:08:19,238 --> 01:08:20,803
About you and Clara?
1003
01:08:20,805 --> 01:08:22,871
About you and me.
1004
01:08:22,873 --> 01:08:24,574
That's a hilarious joke.
1005
01:08:24,576 --> 01:08:28,846
Just to be clear,
you were also in those bushes, buddy.
1006
01:08:30,182 --> 01:08:33,183
I'm developing an ulcer
talking to you right now.
1007
01:08:33,185 --> 01:08:36,118
You're 18 years old.
You're not developing an ulcer.
1008
01:08:36,120 --> 01:08:38,588
Funny story. I actually
had an ulcer when I was 12.
1009
01:08:38,590 --> 01:08:40,390
You should
see a doctor, then.
1010
01:08:40,392 --> 01:08:41,393
I did.
1011
01:08:42,994 --> 01:08:45,395
He told me to avoid
stressful situations.
1012
01:08:45,397 --> 01:08:47,830
He's gonna find out eventually.
1013
01:08:47,832 --> 01:08:52,870
Well, isn't that the most familiar sentence
in the history of this fucking summer. I...
1014
01:08:54,306 --> 01:08:56,073
I know. I just...
1015
01:08:57,008 --> 01:08:59,041
We're all leaving.
1016
01:08:59,043 --> 01:09:01,478
Right. And before we go to college,
we should all hate each other.
1017
01:09:01,480 --> 01:09:03,879
Forever.
1018
01:09:03,881 --> 01:09:06,583
I feel like if we have this shit
hanging over our heads,
1019
01:09:06,585 --> 01:09:08,917
then we would
hate each other forever.
1020
01:09:08,919 --> 01:09:11,088
Shit that you created.
1021
01:09:12,957 --> 01:09:15,360
At least this gives us
some kind of chance.
1022
01:09:19,598 --> 01:09:21,300
We could do it together.
1023
01:09:24,001 --> 01:09:25,370
Strength in numbers.
1024
01:09:43,255 --> 01:09:44,523
I feel like an asshole.
1025
01:09:46,123 --> 01:09:47,526
You're not the asshole.
1026
01:09:49,294 --> 01:09:50,395
Obviously.
1027
01:09:51,530 --> 01:09:53,097
You're the asshole.
1028
01:09:57,935 --> 01:10:00,172
Okay, well,
there's one other thing.
1029
01:10:05,477 --> 01:10:07,011
I'm friends with Clara.
1030
01:10:07,646 --> 01:10:10,415
Or, we were friends.
1031
01:10:11,148 --> 01:10:12,417
Are you Brad Pitt?
1032
01:10:15,187 --> 01:10:18,223
I wasn't trying
to hurt you. Or...
1033
01:10:19,558 --> 01:10:23,228
I was. I was trying
to hurt you at first...
1034
01:10:24,663 --> 01:10:26,498
but then
I just really liked her.
1035
01:10:36,241 --> 01:10:38,510
Please don't let me ruin
things for you and Ben.
1036
01:11:56,555 --> 01:11:58,190
Oh.
1037
01:12:07,566 --> 01:12:08,567
Whenever you're ready.
1038
01:12:29,421 --> 01:12:30,422
Hey.
1039
01:12:32,089 --> 01:12:33,325
Want half this cookie?
1040
01:12:35,827 --> 01:12:37,696
Is it sativa or an indica?
1041
01:12:41,131 --> 01:12:42,767
It's a hybrid.
1042
01:12:51,576 --> 01:12:52,577
No hat.
1043
01:12:54,412 --> 01:12:55,514
What do you think?
1044
01:12:59,618 --> 01:13:02,285
I'll be home in two months.
1045
01:13:02,287 --> 01:13:05,087
I've never been away from you
for more than two weeks.
1046
01:13:05,089 --> 01:13:07,490
Seems like the world
will keep spinning.
1047
01:13:07,492 --> 01:13:09,592
Yeah, you have this little
strumpet to keep you company.
1048
01:13:09,594 --> 01:13:11,761
- Kiss my fat ass.
- You kiss my fat ass.
1049
01:13:11,763 --> 01:13:13,496
- You kiss my fat ass.
- You kiss my fat ass.
1050
01:13:13,498 --> 01:13:15,765
- You kiss my fat ass.
- You kiss my fat ass.
1051
01:13:15,767 --> 01:13:17,800
No! We were going to
have one dinner
1052
01:13:17,802 --> 01:13:21,271
that does not end in talk of
kissing asses and sucking dicks.
1053
01:13:21,273 --> 01:13:23,406
Your mouths are staying away
from each other's genitals.
1054
01:13:23,408 --> 01:13:24,807
Your mouths are staying
on your faces
1055
01:13:24,809 --> 01:13:27,277
and eating this fucking salmon
that I made.
1056
01:13:27,279 --> 01:13:29,212
You're my daughters,
my only two daughters,
1057
01:13:29,214 --> 01:13:32,415
and you're growing up,
and April is going off to college,
1058
01:13:32,417 --> 01:13:36,286
and we are gonna make
a very fucking nice memory!
1059
01:13:36,288 --> 01:13:39,255
All right, they
do this in France.
1060
01:13:39,257 --> 01:13:40,258
Ooh!
1061
01:13:41,159 --> 01:13:42,592
I'll clean that up.
1062
01:13:42,594 --> 01:13:44,160
All right. Cheers.
1063
01:13:44,162 --> 01:13:46,229
Mom, you are so cool
right now.
1064
01:13:46,231 --> 01:13:47,832
Yeah, I know. Thank you.
1065
01:13:50,602 --> 01:13:53,305
Just so you know,
I'm over Nick.
1066
01:13:55,507 --> 01:13:56,906
You can have him,
if you want.
1067
01:13:56,908 --> 01:13:59,876
Oof. He peaked
in the 11th grade.
1068
01:13:59,878 --> 01:14:02,912
But there's a boy in my class
I've been texting.
1069
01:14:02,914 --> 01:14:04,914
Isn't that
a little young for you?
1070
01:14:04,916 --> 01:14:06,783
He shaves.
1071
01:14:14,459 --> 01:14:17,662
- Hey, is April here? I just need to talk to her for...
- Ugh!
1072
01:14:20,198 --> 01:14:21,700
That girl's here!
1073
01:14:37,816 --> 01:14:41,417
I... I kinda had
this whole speech planned...
1074
01:14:41,419 --> 01:14:43,221
but I'm not really sure
if it was any good.
1075
01:14:45,357 --> 01:14:48,560
I'd still be interested
in hearing it.
1076
01:14:50,462 --> 01:14:51,696
Well...
1077
01:14:52,631 --> 01:14:55,198
basically the main thing was,
1078
01:14:55,200 --> 01:14:57,934
I'm sorry for getting angry
at you because you were upset.
1079
01:14:57,936 --> 01:15:00,572
that I was fucking
your ex-boyfriend.
1080
01:15:01,539 --> 01:15:04,175
If you follow that.
1081
01:15:04,542 --> 01:15:05,777
I do. Yeah.
1082
01:15:07,245 --> 01:15:10,915
And I'm sorry for
throwing Icee at your face.
1083
01:15:11,683 --> 01:15:13,318
You threw it at my boobs.
1084
01:15:14,619 --> 01:15:16,254
I was aiming for your face.
1085
01:15:18,390 --> 01:15:19,724
Well, I deserved it.
1086
01:15:21,793 --> 01:15:23,161
You were right.
1087
01:15:24,462 --> 01:15:28,166
I went to that party because I
was jealous you were with him.
1088
01:15:28,933 --> 01:15:29,934
I know.
1089
01:15:32,537 --> 01:15:36,608
But really, I was jealous
that he was with you.
1090
01:15:38,877 --> 01:15:40,812
I had a lot of fun with you
this summer.
1091
01:15:43,415 --> 01:15:44,683
Me, too.
1092
01:15:47,752 --> 01:15:49,554
I'm sorry I fucked it up.
1093
01:15:51,556 --> 01:15:55,960
Well, can we un-fuck it up?
I mean, when do you leave?
1094
01:15:57,829 --> 01:16:00,298
Tomorrow. At 3:00.
1095
01:16:00,865 --> 01:16:02,200
So...
1096
01:16:02,834 --> 01:16:03,835
Oh.
1097
01:16:06,471 --> 01:16:09,708
I was gonna show up
at your door in the morning.
1098
01:16:11,276 --> 01:16:12,711
I was gonna drive there.
1099
01:16:14,512 --> 01:16:15,914
Because I drive now.
1100
01:16:18,883 --> 01:16:21,951
You got your license?
Krillholtz!
1101
01:16:28,760 --> 01:16:29,761
So...
1102
01:16:30,729 --> 01:16:31,694
where are we going?
1103
01:16:31,696 --> 01:16:34,664
You're the one that's leaving.
You choose.
1104
01:16:34,666 --> 01:16:37,433
- So you're staying in LA?
- For now.
1105
01:16:37,435 --> 01:16:39,635
I'm thinking about checkin' out
some canary schools.
1106
01:16:42,440 --> 01:16:44,741
'Cause I'll be back
in November.
1107
01:16:44,743 --> 01:16:46,676
- Mmm-hmm.
- And December.
1108
01:16:46,678 --> 01:16:49,345
And summer,
so June, July, August.
1109
01:16:49,347 --> 01:16:50,813
And we can FaceTime.
1110
01:16:50,815 --> 01:16:53,750
So, like,
a long-distance relationship.
1111
01:16:53,752 --> 01:16:57,453
Exactly. But without the sex.
1112
01:16:57,455 --> 01:17:00,825
Good. Because I love you,
but I'm not gonna have sex with you.
1113
01:17:03,728 --> 01:17:04,763
What'd you say?
1114
01:17:06,030 --> 01:17:07,832
I said we are never fucking.
1115
01:17:09,667 --> 01:17:11,436
You said you loved me.
1116
01:17:13,438 --> 01:17:15,638
Oh, my God... Yeah, I love you.
Don't ruin the moment.
1117
01:17:15,640 --> 01:17:18,641
But I want to ruin it!
I love you, too.
1118
01:17:18,643 --> 01:17:22,011
I love you so much!
1119
01:17:23,114 --> 01:17:26,382
Okay, but you, you love me.
1120
01:17:26,384 --> 01:17:28,417
- Where are we going?
- I don't know.
1121
01:17:31,589 --> 01:17:32,624
All right.
1122
01:17:34,058 --> 01:17:35,059
You love me.
1123
01:17:36,027 --> 01:17:37,328
Oh, God.
76627
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