subtitlecat.com

All language subtitles for All.American.Christmas.Carol.2013.WEBRip.x264-RARBG

Afrikaans

Albanian

Amharic

Arabic Download

Armenian

Azerbaijani

Basque

Belarusian

Bengali

Bosnian

Bulgarian

Catalan

Cebuano

Chichewa

Chinese (Simplified)

Chinese (Traditional)

Corsican

Croatian

Czech

Danish

Dutch

English

Esperanto

Estonian

Filipino

Finnish

French

Frisian

Galician

Georgian

German

Greek

Gujarati

Haitian Creole

Hausa

Hawaiian

Hebrew

Hindi

Hmong

Hungarian

Icelandic

Igbo

Indonesian

Irish

Italian

Japanese

Javanese

Kannada

Kazakh

Khmer

Korean

Kurdish (Kurmanji)

Kyrgyz

Lao

Latin

Latvian

Lithuanian

Luxembourgish

Macedonian

Malagasy

Malay

Malayalam

Maltese

Maori

Marathi

Mongolian

Myanmar (Burmese)

Nepali

Norwegian

Pashto

Persian

Polish

Portuguese

Punjabi

Romanian

Russian

Samoan

Scots Gaelic

Serbian

Sesotho

Shona

Sindhi

Sinhala

Slovak

Slovenian

Somali

Spanish

Sundanese

Swahili

Swedish

Tajik

Tamil

Telugu

Thai

Turkish

Ukrainian

Urdu

Uzbek

Vietnamese

Welsh

Xhosa

Yiddish

Yoruba

Zulu

Odia (Oriya)

Kinyarwanda

Turkmen

Tatar

Uyghur

Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:22,790 --> 00:00:26,190 - * Here comes christmas, lots of toys * 2 00:00:26,227 --> 00:00:29,427 * come on now, make some noise * 3 00:00:29,463 --> 00:00:31,773 * christmas trees and the christmas lights * 4 00:00:31,799 --> 00:00:34,469 * come on, baby, hold me tight 5 00:00:34,502 --> 00:00:37,412 * i got you under the mistletoe * 6 00:00:37,438 --> 00:00:40,138 * and here comes christmas, a-don't let go * 7 00:00:42,776 --> 00:00:45,806 * here comes christmas, don't let go * 8 00:00:45,846 --> 00:00:48,576 * here comes christmas, santa's sleigh * 9 00:00:48,616 --> 00:00:51,346 * rudy in front to light the way * 10 00:00:51,385 --> 00:00:54,115 * i need more time to get it done * 11 00:00:54,155 --> 00:00:56,655 * i need more time for christmas fun * 12 00:00:56,690 --> 00:00:59,590 * i'm all ready for the christmas snow * 13 00:00:59,627 --> 00:01:02,827 * and here comes christmas, a-don't let go * 14 00:01:05,166 --> 00:01:08,596 * and here comes christmas, a-don't let go * 15 00:01:08,636 --> 00:01:10,736 * mamas and papas and kids and dogs * 16 00:01:10,771 --> 00:01:13,611 * to find a place where they wait for christmas logs * 17 00:01:13,641 --> 00:01:16,711 * santa, please hurry now, don't be late * 18 00:01:16,744 --> 00:01:19,214 * whoa! it's a special date 19 00:01:19,247 --> 00:01:21,117 * hey 20 00:01:40,934 --> 00:01:44,314 * here comes christmas, time to eat * 21 00:01:44,338 --> 00:01:47,178 * that turkey and gravy gonna be so sweet * 22 00:01:47,208 --> 00:01:49,838 * look at the presents underneath the tree * 23 00:01:49,877 --> 00:01:52,577 * i wish everyone was as lucky as me * 24 00:01:52,613 --> 00:01:55,483 * a christmas angel wants us to know * 25 00:01:55,516 --> 00:01:58,416 * that here comes christmas, a-don't let go * 26 00:02:01,389 --> 00:02:03,789 * here comes christmas, don't let go * 27 00:02:03,824 --> 00:02:06,634 * your mamas and papas and kids and dogs * 28 00:02:06,660 --> 00:02:09,400 * to find a place where they wait for christmas logs * 29 00:02:09,430 --> 00:02:12,570 * santa, please hurry now, and don't be late * 30 00:02:12,600 --> 00:02:15,170 * whoa! it's a special date 31 00:02:15,203 --> 00:02:17,713 * here comes christmas, lots of toys * 32 00:02:17,738 --> 00:02:20,538 * a-come on now, and make some noise * 33 00:02:20,574 --> 00:02:23,344 * the christmas trees and the christmas sights * 34 00:02:23,377 --> 00:02:26,247 * a-come on, baby, now a-hold me tight * 35 00:02:26,280 --> 00:02:28,780 * i got you under the mistletoe * 36 00:02:28,816 --> 00:02:31,716 * a-here comes christmas, a-don't let go * 37 00:02:31,752 --> 00:02:34,662 * i'm all ready for the christmas snow * 38 00:02:34,688 --> 00:02:37,358 * a-here comes christmas, a-don't let go * 39 00:02:37,391 --> 00:02:40,191 * the christmas angel wants us all to know * 40 00:02:40,228 --> 00:02:42,658 * yeah! 41 00:02:42,696 --> 00:02:44,866 * that here comes christmas 42 00:02:44,898 --> 00:02:47,668 * a-here comes christmas 43 00:02:47,701 --> 00:02:50,671 * yeah! yeah 44 00:02:50,704 --> 00:02:52,814 * come on, santa 45 00:03:24,805 --> 00:03:26,865 - that is cindy wegman. 46 00:03:26,907 --> 00:03:28,577 just look at her -- 47 00:03:28,609 --> 00:03:31,009 three kids, three different daddies... 48 00:03:31,044 --> 00:03:33,284 and barely a penny to her name. 49 00:03:33,314 --> 00:03:36,324 she's never gonna make something of herself. 50 00:03:36,350 --> 00:03:37,620 she's gonna go right in the dumper. 51 00:03:37,651 --> 00:03:39,391 - mm-hmm. 52 00:03:39,420 --> 00:03:41,790 - let's find some contour to make your face look smaller. 53 00:03:49,530 --> 00:03:51,330 doodle, look at this crap. 54 00:03:51,365 --> 00:03:53,765 christmas -- it's for suckers. 55 00:03:55,336 --> 00:03:56,836 whoa. 56 00:03:58,506 --> 00:04:00,666 are you gonna control your kid? 57 00:04:00,708 --> 00:04:03,508 - skoal, don't go breaking stuff, sweetie! 58 00:04:03,544 --> 00:04:05,784 come on! 59 00:04:05,813 --> 00:04:07,523 geez. 60 00:04:10,984 --> 00:04:13,354 - ah! cindy wegman. 61 00:04:13,387 --> 00:04:16,587 i see you popped out another one. 62 00:04:16,624 --> 00:04:18,494 - you slumming at the dollar king again? 63 00:04:18,526 --> 00:04:20,356 - dollar king is about the last place you can go 64 00:04:20,394 --> 00:04:22,064 to get your hair done since your mom passed. 65 00:04:22,095 --> 00:04:24,565 you ever think about picking up the scissors again? 66 00:04:24,598 --> 00:04:25,928 - no. 67 00:04:25,966 --> 00:04:29,996 - i think you should reopen girl curl... 68 00:04:30,037 --> 00:04:32,867 even if it's just for christmas. 69 00:04:32,906 --> 00:04:34,976 - work is for suckers. 70 00:04:35,008 --> 00:04:36,908 - aah! 71 00:04:36,944 --> 00:04:39,414 hmm. was that one of yours? 72 00:04:39,447 --> 00:04:43,617 hey. kids. what are you gonna do? 73 00:04:43,651 --> 00:04:46,821 - guess you do hair better than you raise kids. 74 00:04:51,124 --> 00:04:55,064 i'm not trying to tell you how to live your life, wayne. 75 00:04:55,095 --> 00:04:58,625 i'm just giving you valuable advice -- for free! 76 00:04:58,666 --> 00:05:00,426 - i know, mr. wink. 77 00:05:00,468 --> 00:05:02,468 i just need a little more advance on my paycheck. 78 00:05:02,503 --> 00:05:05,073 being that it's christmas, these kids need things. 79 00:05:05,105 --> 00:05:06,835 - these aren't even your kids! 80 00:05:06,874 --> 00:05:09,544 i mean, she's got like three or four of them 81 00:05:09,577 --> 00:05:11,037 all from different daddies. 82 00:05:11,078 --> 00:05:12,908 cindy wegman is a hit and run -- 83 00:05:12,946 --> 00:05:16,616 you hit it... and then you run. 84 00:05:16,650 --> 00:05:18,420 you got a future, boy. 85 00:05:18,452 --> 00:05:19,922 don't end up being the dum-dum daddy 86 00:05:19,953 --> 00:05:21,863 that winds up paying for her mistakes. 87 00:05:21,889 --> 00:05:23,059 you know what i'm saying? 88 00:05:23,090 --> 00:05:24,760 - i do. 89 00:05:24,792 --> 00:05:26,732 thank you, sir. 90 00:05:26,760 --> 00:05:29,660 so, can i have the advance? 91 00:05:29,697 --> 00:05:31,057 - are you just... 92 00:05:31,098 --> 00:05:33,668 when i'm talking... 93 00:05:33,701 --> 00:05:36,041 no! 94 00:05:36,069 --> 00:05:37,809 get out! 95 00:05:39,172 --> 00:05:40,912 - get out! 96 00:05:48,982 --> 00:05:50,152 - ohh. 97 00:05:51,419 --> 00:05:52,919 - you missed it, mom. 98 00:05:52,953 --> 00:05:56,693 - go tell some sucker you haven't eaten since tuesday. 99 00:05:56,724 --> 00:05:57,964 - excuse me, ma'am. 100 00:05:57,991 --> 00:05:59,391 can i have some money to buy some food? 101 00:05:59,427 --> 00:06:00,827 it's christmas. 102 00:06:00,861 --> 00:06:02,961 - here we go, dear. 103 00:06:02,996 --> 00:06:06,166 - yes! 104 00:06:06,199 --> 00:06:07,639 my turn. 105 00:06:07,668 --> 00:06:08,868 - oh. good job. 106 00:06:08,902 --> 00:06:10,472 okay. all right. 107 00:06:10,504 --> 00:06:13,444 mommy's gonna win them scratchers, ready? 108 00:06:18,011 --> 00:06:20,651 you know what? screw christmas. 109 00:06:20,681 --> 00:06:22,651 nobody is getting anything this year. 110 00:06:22,683 --> 00:06:24,853 - baby, you shouldn't use that kind of language 111 00:06:24,885 --> 00:06:26,085 in front of the kids. 112 00:06:26,119 --> 00:06:28,589 - what? "screw's" not a bad word, wayne. 113 00:06:28,622 --> 00:06:30,622 hey, can you, um, put all this on your tab? 114 00:06:30,658 --> 00:06:32,958 - cind, i got to pay your rent tomorrow, 115 00:06:32,993 --> 00:06:35,563 and christmas is right around the corner, 116 00:06:35,596 --> 00:06:38,996 and wink's not been giving me the overtime hours that i need. 117 00:06:42,936 --> 00:06:44,196 - please? 118 00:06:44,237 --> 00:06:46,137 - okay. 119 00:06:50,911 --> 00:06:53,781 - * on the 12th day of christmas, my true love sent to me * 120 00:06:53,814 --> 00:06:56,224 * 12 drummers drumming, 11 pipers piping * 121 00:06:56,249 --> 00:06:58,119 * 10 lords a-leaping, 9 ladies dancing * 122 00:06:58,151 --> 00:06:59,951 * 8 maids a-milking, 7 swans a-swimming * 123 00:06:59,987 --> 00:07:01,487 * 6 geese a-laying * 124 00:07:01,522 --> 00:07:06,462 * 5 golden rings * 125 00:07:06,494 --> 00:07:08,034 * 4 calling birds, 3 french horns * 126 00:07:08,061 --> 00:07:09,801 * 2 turtledoves * 127 00:07:09,830 --> 00:07:11,800 * and a partridge in a pear tree * 128 00:07:11,832 --> 00:07:14,502 - cindy, can we turn the lights on the tree this year? 129 00:07:14,535 --> 00:07:16,165 - no, baby, it's too expensive. 130 00:07:16,203 --> 00:07:19,073 - this christmas is gonna suck -- just like the rest of them. 131 00:07:19,106 --> 00:07:20,906 - hey! don't sass me. 132 00:07:20,941 --> 00:07:23,081 besides, i ain't never read anywhere 133 00:07:23,110 --> 00:07:25,110 that christmas has to have lights. 134 00:07:25,145 --> 00:07:26,545 you know, the stars in the sky 135 00:07:26,580 --> 00:07:27,980 was all they had back in the day. 136 00:07:28,015 --> 00:07:30,845 - but -- - but nothing. zip it. 137 00:07:30,884 --> 00:07:32,954 - don't zip me. you ain't my mama. 138 00:07:32,986 --> 00:07:34,486 randy's my daddy. 139 00:07:34,522 --> 00:07:36,492 - zip it, or go back to your own trailer. 140 00:07:37,958 --> 00:07:39,588 - thank you, constantine. 141 00:07:39,627 --> 00:07:40,927 you may be dead, but you'll live on forever, 142 00:07:40,961 --> 00:07:42,031 here on the "masters of music." 143 00:07:42,062 --> 00:07:43,602 we'll be right back. 144 00:07:43,631 --> 00:07:45,231 - dang. 145 00:08:03,551 --> 00:08:05,791 - how far can that thing shoot? 146 00:08:05,819 --> 00:08:09,919 - well, it, uh, depends on the trajectory of the pipe. 147 00:08:09,957 --> 00:08:12,227 do you know what trajectory means? 148 00:08:12,259 --> 00:08:14,089 - no. 149 00:08:14,127 --> 00:08:16,897 it's the angle at which a flying object 150 00:08:16,930 --> 00:08:18,530 travels through the air -- 151 00:08:18,566 --> 00:08:20,926 most commonly used by, uh, ballistics experts, 152 00:08:20,968 --> 00:08:22,868 but can be applied to paintball, 153 00:08:22,903 --> 00:08:25,613 and, uh... of course, santa's sleigh. 154 00:08:25,639 --> 00:08:28,939 - oh, yeah. of course. everybody knows that. 155 00:08:42,122 --> 00:08:46,292 hey, look at you all grown up. 156 00:08:47,294 --> 00:08:49,564 - hey, randy. 157 00:08:49,597 --> 00:08:50,757 - shoot-dang, randy. 158 00:08:50,798 --> 00:08:51,868 i saw your match on tv last week. 159 00:08:51,899 --> 00:08:52,969 you were awesome. 160 00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:54,740 you like that? 161 00:08:54,768 --> 00:08:56,868 a little choke hold with the rattail -- 162 00:08:56,904 --> 00:08:58,244 my signature move. 163 00:08:58,271 --> 00:09:02,681 say... are you losing weight there, twinks? 164 00:09:02,710 --> 00:09:04,080 - i don't know. 165 00:09:04,111 --> 00:09:06,051 maybe a little right around here. 166 00:09:06,079 --> 00:09:08,119 yeah. 167 00:09:08,148 --> 00:09:09,878 - what a-- what are you doing back here? 168 00:09:09,917 --> 00:09:12,687 - came for harley's daddy's funeral. 169 00:09:12,720 --> 00:09:14,860 sorry, boy. your daddy was my bro. 170 00:09:14,888 --> 00:09:17,628 - geez, i figured you'd forget about all of us 171 00:09:17,658 --> 00:09:18,958 once you went semi-pro. 172 00:09:18,992 --> 00:09:20,262 - well, even when you go big-time, 173 00:09:20,293 --> 00:09:21,963 you still got to remember the little folk. 174 00:09:21,995 --> 00:09:24,765 - hey! 175 00:09:24,798 --> 00:09:25,968 hey! 176 00:09:25,999 --> 00:09:27,299 where do you think you're going? 177 00:09:27,334 --> 00:09:29,344 - jake marley's funeral. 178 00:09:29,369 --> 00:09:30,839 - no, no. 179 00:09:30,871 --> 00:09:32,271 i'm not paying you to go to the funeral 180 00:09:32,305 --> 00:09:33,705 of cindy's kid's dead daddy. 181 00:09:33,741 --> 00:09:35,641 - harley needs me there for support. 182 00:09:35,676 --> 00:09:36,836 and it's christmas! 183 00:09:36,877 --> 00:09:38,777 - she's gonna run you into the ground. 184 00:09:38,812 --> 00:09:40,052 mark my words. 185 00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:42,220 i know. i know. 186 00:09:42,249 --> 00:09:44,219 - what the hell is that? 187 00:09:44,251 --> 00:09:46,051 that's a tater gun. 188 00:09:46,086 --> 00:09:47,686 you want to try it? 189 00:09:47,721 --> 00:09:49,791 - hell yes, i do. is there a tater in it? 190 00:09:49,823 --> 00:09:50,793 - not yet. 191 00:09:50,824 --> 00:09:52,994 - well, let's put one in it. 192 00:09:53,026 --> 00:09:54,726 grab the propane. 193 00:09:56,096 --> 00:09:58,826 there you go. 194 00:10:01,669 --> 00:10:03,899 how you doing down there, twinks? 195 00:10:03,937 --> 00:10:06,807 - it's good. it's coming along. - okay. good. 196 00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:09,740 all right. that's good. that's good. 197 00:10:09,777 --> 00:10:12,047 - i'm getting light-headed. 198 00:10:17,217 --> 00:10:19,187 - you do it, harley. 199 00:10:27,360 --> 00:10:28,760 - nice! 200 00:10:28,796 --> 00:10:31,026 - awesome. 201 00:10:31,064 --> 00:10:33,104 there. 202 00:10:33,133 --> 00:10:35,403 - harley, come on! we're gonna be late! 203 00:10:35,435 --> 00:10:38,165 oh. 204 00:10:38,205 --> 00:10:39,805 you're here. 205 00:10:39,840 --> 00:10:41,710 - well, i couldn't miss jake's funeral. 206 00:10:41,742 --> 00:10:43,912 in fact, i think me and him did it 207 00:10:43,944 --> 00:10:46,384 with all the same people, including you. 208 00:10:49,216 --> 00:10:50,376 remember that? 209 00:10:50,417 --> 00:10:52,687 - tsk. how could i forget? come on. 210 00:10:52,720 --> 00:10:53,950 - daddy! 211 00:10:53,987 --> 00:10:55,157 - oh! hey! 212 00:10:55,188 --> 00:10:57,258 oh, man. you miss your daddy. 213 00:10:57,290 --> 00:10:58,690 let me get a look at you. 214 00:10:58,726 --> 00:11:01,356 whoa. 215 00:11:01,394 --> 00:11:03,764 - i knew you'd come home for christmas. 216 00:11:03,797 --> 00:11:05,967 i knew you would. what'd you bring me? 217 00:11:05,999 --> 00:11:07,939 - um... yeah. 218 00:11:07,968 --> 00:11:11,338 mer-- merry christmas, honey. 219 00:11:11,371 --> 00:11:12,871 okay. 220 00:11:12,906 --> 00:11:14,066 enough of all this sappy crap, 221 00:11:14,107 --> 00:11:15,907 'cause we have a funeral to go to, 222 00:11:15,943 --> 00:11:17,883 and i need you to watch doods and skoal like i asked you. 223 00:11:17,911 --> 00:11:19,151 - but i want to go, too. 224 00:11:19,179 --> 00:11:20,949 - brandie, you didn't even know him. 225 00:11:20,981 --> 00:11:22,351 - daddy. - come on! 226 00:11:22,382 --> 00:11:24,282 - go on back inside, and i'll be back. 227 00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:35,100 - what was daddy like? 228 00:11:35,128 --> 00:11:36,728 - dang, boy. 229 00:11:36,764 --> 00:11:38,804 we're on our way to your dead daddy's funeral, 230 00:11:38,832 --> 00:11:40,302 we got randy in town, 231 00:11:40,333 --> 00:11:42,973 and you're trying to put mama through a pop quiz? 232 00:11:43,003 --> 00:11:44,273 give it a rest, okay? 233 00:11:44,304 --> 00:11:46,744 - i'm just asking 'cause i think it's right. 234 00:11:46,774 --> 00:11:48,184 - he was a dummy, okay? 235 00:11:48,208 --> 00:11:50,978 all he cared about was his stupid paintball, 236 00:11:51,011 --> 00:11:53,411 always off at a dang tournament somewhere, 237 00:11:53,446 --> 00:11:56,216 and then right before he was about to go pro, 238 00:11:56,249 --> 00:11:58,349 right before we could have gotten 239 00:11:58,385 --> 00:12:00,085 that pro money for alimony, 240 00:12:00,120 --> 00:12:03,120 he had to go and die -- right before christmas, too. 241 00:12:03,156 --> 00:12:04,456 what a jerk. 242 00:12:04,491 --> 00:12:07,391 no help with the kids' presents again. 243 00:12:08,929 --> 00:12:11,059 - we're getting presents this year? 244 00:12:11,098 --> 00:12:13,768 - no, baby, not this year. 245 00:12:13,801 --> 00:12:17,471 claw machine ain't been too good to mama. 246 00:12:39,192 --> 00:12:41,162 - yeah? 247 00:12:41,194 --> 00:12:42,904 - hello, there. 248 00:12:42,930 --> 00:12:45,230 uh, i'm amanda -- social services. 249 00:12:45,265 --> 00:12:46,895 is your mommy home? 250 00:12:46,934 --> 00:12:47,534 - no! 251 00:13:02,115 --> 00:13:05,085 - no guns no glory paintball is where the funeral is? 252 00:13:05,118 --> 00:13:07,348 - well, your daddy had a one-track mind. 253 00:13:07,387 --> 00:13:10,887 - is that why you never married him... 'cause of paintball? 254 00:13:10,924 --> 00:13:12,234 - no, i never married him 255 00:13:12,259 --> 00:13:13,959 because i was only with him one night, okay? 256 00:13:13,994 --> 00:13:15,834 i mean, maybe two, but that's no reason 257 00:13:15,863 --> 00:13:17,463 to fall in love with somebody forever. 258 00:13:21,034 --> 00:13:22,904 - whoa! what happened to you? 259 00:13:22,936 --> 00:13:24,536 - dang tater came flying out of the sky, 260 00:13:24,571 --> 00:13:27,111 drilled me in the head when i was riding down the highway. 261 00:13:27,140 --> 00:13:29,210 - geez. - i'm okay. 262 00:13:29,242 --> 00:13:30,612 how you holding up? 263 00:13:36,616 --> 00:13:38,216 - hey, wayner. 264 00:13:38,251 --> 00:13:42,291 nice bike, for a girl. 265 00:13:42,322 --> 00:13:44,392 - hey, why don't you two boys, um, go in there? 266 00:13:44,424 --> 00:13:46,934 why don't you find your uncle bob and your aunt marge, 267 00:13:46,960 --> 00:13:49,060 and we'll see you in there? you got him, wayne? 268 00:13:49,096 --> 00:13:50,626 - okay. - okay. yeah? 269 00:13:50,663 --> 00:13:52,373 see you guys in there. - love you, mom. 270 00:13:54,267 --> 00:13:57,967 - seen you on tv last week in that match with thunder rains. 271 00:13:58,005 --> 00:13:59,265 looking good. 272 00:13:59,306 --> 00:14:00,966 - you seen my signature move? 273 00:14:01,008 --> 00:14:01,978 - yeah, i saw it. 274 00:14:03,476 --> 00:14:06,106 - flag? 275 00:14:06,146 --> 00:14:08,016 ma'am, flag for our fallen brother? 276 00:14:08,048 --> 00:14:10,348 flag? 277 00:14:10,383 --> 00:14:12,193 flag. 278 00:14:12,219 --> 00:14:17,019 - your family raises the bar for new levels of embarrassment. 279 00:14:17,057 --> 00:14:20,257 - what? it... it's patriotic. 280 00:14:20,293 --> 00:14:22,163 - be careful with that. 281 00:14:23,496 --> 00:14:25,426 - how you holding up there, buddy? 282 00:14:25,465 --> 00:14:26,625 - i'm fine. 283 00:14:26,666 --> 00:14:28,466 - i'm here for him, bob. 284 00:14:28,501 --> 00:14:31,401 - do we have to look at the dead body? 285 00:14:31,438 --> 00:14:33,908 - no. no one is looking at a dead body today. 286 00:14:35,208 --> 00:14:36,378 - okay. did you hear that? 287 00:14:36,409 --> 00:14:38,179 he's allergic to something here. 288 00:14:38,211 --> 00:14:40,311 - maybe it's the flowers. are there daisies? 289 00:14:40,347 --> 00:14:42,477 we're gonna have to go now, bob. 290 00:14:42,515 --> 00:14:45,245 i cannot leave. i just -- where's cindy? 291 00:14:45,285 --> 00:14:47,045 - oh, she's probably not gonna show. 292 00:14:47,087 --> 00:14:49,617 - you know, you still look like a piece of pie 293 00:14:49,656 --> 00:14:53,026 just waiting for a big load of ice cream to top you off. 294 00:14:53,060 --> 00:14:54,660 so what's up with the wayner? hmm? 295 00:14:54,694 --> 00:14:57,434 - i don't know. he's cool, and he takes good care of us. 296 00:14:57,464 --> 00:15:00,104 - you really think you got a life with this college boy? 297 00:15:00,133 --> 00:15:01,533 - i don't know. 298 00:15:01,568 --> 00:15:06,068 - it's lonely on top, cind -- 299 00:15:06,106 --> 00:15:08,636 i mean, the circuit. 300 00:15:08,675 --> 00:15:12,105 the fans, they ain't always kind. 301 00:15:12,145 --> 00:15:13,505 - give me some time. - don't! 302 00:15:13,546 --> 00:15:15,346 - your mouth's saying "don't," 303 00:15:15,382 --> 00:15:17,622 but your body's saying "don't stop." 304 00:15:17,650 --> 00:15:19,220 - why you trying to take advantage of me 305 00:15:19,252 --> 00:15:20,452 when i'm feeling all weak inside? 306 00:15:20,487 --> 00:15:21,717 - you ain't weak. 307 00:15:21,754 --> 00:15:23,464 nobody has ever taken advantage of you. 308 00:15:23,490 --> 00:15:25,330 it's always the other way around. 309 00:15:25,358 --> 00:15:28,228 - that's like you to say. 310 00:15:30,230 --> 00:15:32,200 - why don't you take a hit off of that? 311 00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:35,570 - hi, there, peepers. 312 00:15:35,602 --> 00:15:37,002 - please don't call him that. 313 00:15:37,037 --> 00:15:39,367 - it's a nickname, mom! it's cool! 314 00:15:39,406 --> 00:15:40,666 - yeah, marge. it's cool. 315 00:15:40,707 --> 00:15:42,577 - rattail randy is a kick-ass nickname. 316 00:15:42,609 --> 00:15:44,209 nicknames are cool. 317 00:15:44,244 --> 00:15:46,654 - did you hear that, mom -- kick-ass nickname! 318 00:15:46,679 --> 00:15:48,149 would you please 319 00:15:48,181 --> 00:15:50,051 not use language like that in front of tim? 320 00:15:50,083 --> 00:15:51,283 bob! 321 00:15:51,318 --> 00:15:53,548 - yeah. randy. watch the language. 322 00:15:55,188 --> 00:15:56,558 - okay. we're gonna wait in the car. 323 00:15:56,589 --> 00:15:59,489 come on. 324 00:15:59,526 --> 00:16:03,396 - bye, harley. bye, aunt cindy. 325 00:16:03,430 --> 00:16:05,430 bye, rattail randy. 326 00:16:05,465 --> 00:16:08,365 - bye, peepers. 327 00:16:08,401 --> 00:16:11,641 well... guess we should go look at him. 328 00:16:11,671 --> 00:16:13,141 come on. 329 00:16:17,210 --> 00:16:20,780 ew. dang. nailed him right in the eyeball. 330 00:16:20,813 --> 00:16:23,053 whew. well, he would've wanted it this way. 331 00:16:23,083 --> 00:16:25,123 shoot, yeah, he would. 332 00:16:25,152 --> 00:16:26,792 - he did always say that funerals 333 00:16:26,819 --> 00:16:29,319 should be more like a going-away party. 334 00:16:29,356 --> 00:16:32,026 and it's christmas, for crying out loud! 335 00:16:32,059 --> 00:16:35,099 - go figure -- he only bought a sixer. 336 00:16:37,664 --> 00:16:39,104 - he's cold. 337 00:16:39,132 --> 00:16:40,802 - nah. that's the ice. 338 00:16:40,833 --> 00:16:42,543 cooler sprung a leak. 339 00:16:42,569 --> 00:16:44,069 sip? 340 00:16:44,104 --> 00:16:45,274 - i don't drink. 341 00:16:45,305 --> 00:16:47,065 - your loss. 342 00:16:47,107 --> 00:16:49,637 - all right. y'all take your seats. 343 00:16:51,711 --> 00:16:54,051 dearly beloved, 344 00:16:54,081 --> 00:16:57,321 we are gathered here to bid farewell to our friend. 345 00:16:57,350 --> 00:17:03,090 jacob ate, breathed, slept, and died a paintballer. 346 00:17:03,123 --> 00:17:05,593 sadly, he took one final paintball to the eye, 347 00:17:05,625 --> 00:17:07,425 pushed it so far back into his brain, 348 00:17:07,460 --> 00:17:08,800 he hemorrhaged. 349 00:17:08,828 --> 00:17:11,258 damn fool not wearing his goggles. 350 00:17:11,298 --> 00:17:14,568 hey, and let this be a reminder to you -- 351 00:17:14,601 --> 00:17:16,601 always wear your goggles, 352 00:17:16,636 --> 00:17:20,406 which we provide complimentary here at no guns no glory 353 00:17:20,440 --> 00:17:22,110 paintball and fun park. 354 00:17:22,142 --> 00:17:23,812 oh, and don't forget to get 355 00:17:23,843 --> 00:17:27,413 your 10 %-merchandise-off coupons on your way out -- 356 00:17:27,447 --> 00:17:30,277 good through the entire holiday season. 357 00:17:30,317 --> 00:17:33,387 jacob marley, in your honor, 358 00:17:33,420 --> 00:17:36,090 we are dedicating our new 359 00:17:36,123 --> 00:17:40,733 afghanistan field of battle to you, brother. 360 00:17:40,760 --> 00:17:43,630 now raise 'em and shoot, boys. 361 00:17:52,139 --> 00:17:53,769 okay, honey. 362 00:17:53,806 --> 00:17:56,606 so, i'm gonna -- uh, i'm gonna go for a ride with randy. 363 00:17:56,643 --> 00:17:58,653 i just need to feel the wind in my hair 364 00:17:58,678 --> 00:18:00,878 and mourn the loss of your dead daddy, okay? 365 00:18:00,913 --> 00:18:02,683 - um, okay, but... 366 00:18:02,715 --> 00:18:04,115 - what? 367 00:18:04,151 --> 00:18:06,591 wayne, you take care of him for me? 368 00:18:06,619 --> 00:18:10,189 - sure, cind, but i can mourn with you if you want. 369 00:18:10,223 --> 00:18:12,393 - you're so sweet! 370 00:18:12,425 --> 00:18:14,155 you're so sweet. 371 00:18:14,194 --> 00:18:16,434 but you don't really know him like randy and i did. 372 00:18:16,463 --> 00:18:18,433 - um, mom. 373 00:18:18,465 --> 00:18:20,895 are you gonna make it back in time for my play tonight? 374 00:18:20,933 --> 00:18:22,743 - you're in a play tonight? 375 00:18:22,769 --> 00:18:25,509 - yeah, i'm playing scrooge's nephew in "a christmas carol." 376 00:18:25,538 --> 00:18:26,708 mama, i told you about it. 377 00:18:26,739 --> 00:18:28,309 - oh! yes! just kidding! 378 00:18:28,341 --> 00:18:30,841 of course i'm gonna be at your play tonight. 379 00:18:30,877 --> 00:18:33,207 - okay. 380 00:18:33,246 --> 00:18:35,276 - that's a promise -- i will be there. 381 00:18:36,816 --> 00:18:38,486 - i love you, mama. 382 00:18:38,518 --> 00:18:40,118 - oh, baby, i love you. 383 00:18:50,463 --> 00:18:53,573 * oh, man, i ain't never seen her sober * 384 00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:57,470 * always with a drink in her hand * 385 00:19:00,807 --> 00:19:03,407 so, uh, you get the kids anything good 386 00:19:03,443 --> 00:19:04,813 for christmas this year? 387 00:19:04,844 --> 00:19:06,384 - i'm sure wayne will. 388 00:19:06,413 --> 00:19:08,383 - so you're really gonna marry the wayner? 389 00:19:08,415 --> 00:19:09,845 - well, you ain't stepping up. 390 00:19:09,882 --> 00:19:12,452 besides, you don't make a good father figure. 391 00:19:12,485 --> 00:19:15,255 and you're the prize picture of motherhood. 392 00:19:17,224 --> 00:19:18,964 - well, if i get one more, i make $100. 393 00:19:18,991 --> 00:19:20,791 - well, you better get it in there, 394 00:19:20,827 --> 00:19:22,697 'cause you know what i get if i win? 395 00:19:22,729 --> 00:19:24,499 i take you over to that table 396 00:19:24,531 --> 00:19:26,931 and just spank you like a bad chicken. 397 00:19:29,536 --> 00:19:31,936 - mm. looks like i win either way. 398 00:19:31,971 --> 00:19:33,811 whoo! 399 00:19:35,842 --> 00:19:39,452 - i wear the chain i forged in life. 400 00:19:39,479 --> 00:19:42,849 i made it link by link and yard by yard. 401 00:19:42,882 --> 00:19:47,692 i cannot rest. i cannot stay. i cannot linger anywhere. 402 00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:50,660 - speak comfort to me, jacob. 403 00:19:50,690 --> 00:19:52,760 - i have none to give. - mom. 404 00:19:52,792 --> 00:19:55,502 - i cannot rest. i cannot stay. - shh. 405 00:19:55,528 --> 00:19:58,668 - i have to go to the bathroom. 406 00:19:58,698 --> 00:19:59,998 - can you just hold it, buddy? 407 00:20:00,032 --> 00:20:02,672 - the doctor said not to hold it. 408 00:20:02,702 --> 00:20:03,972 - he has to go, he has to go. 409 00:20:04,003 --> 00:20:05,473 - remember what happened at the aquarium? 410 00:20:05,505 --> 00:20:06,665 - shh. - yes, i remember. 411 00:20:06,706 --> 00:20:08,006 - don't shush me. 412 00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:09,440 go. 413 00:20:11,278 --> 00:20:12,848 - i-i wasn't. 414 00:20:12,879 --> 00:20:15,449 - that's why i'm the better parent. 415 00:20:20,420 --> 00:20:23,990 - rematch! i'm calling a rematch! 416 00:20:46,413 --> 00:20:49,423 oh, timmy. 417 00:20:53,320 --> 00:20:55,020 - aah! aah! please don't hurt me! 418 00:20:55,054 --> 00:20:56,894 - come on, peepers. maybe you'll like it. 419 00:20:56,923 --> 00:20:58,533 - i don't like urinal cakes! 420 00:20:58,558 --> 00:21:00,558 - how do you know if you haven't even tried it? 421 00:21:00,593 --> 00:21:01,593 - no! 422 00:21:05,765 --> 00:21:08,065 - you two, come here! 423 00:21:08,100 --> 00:21:09,570 you like being kicked in the nuts? 424 00:21:09,602 --> 00:21:10,872 no? no? 425 00:21:10,903 --> 00:21:12,573 - how about you? - no. 426 00:21:12,605 --> 00:21:13,905 - i think you like being kicked in the nuts. 427 00:21:13,940 --> 00:21:15,510 huh, timmy? want to give him a nut pie? 428 00:21:15,542 --> 00:21:17,912 kick him as hard as you can! go on! 429 00:21:18,978 --> 00:21:20,748 - ooh-hoo-hoo! 430 00:21:20,780 --> 00:21:22,380 come on, peepers. 431 00:21:22,415 --> 00:21:24,375 bye, ladies. - you're dead, you little runt! 432 00:21:24,417 --> 00:21:26,387 - timmy. listen. 433 00:21:26,419 --> 00:21:29,459 i don't think we should mention this to your mother, okay? 434 00:21:29,489 --> 00:21:30,959 but good job in there! 435 00:21:30,990 --> 00:21:32,760 - i kicked some butt, right? 436 00:21:32,792 --> 00:21:34,692 - uh, you kicked some nuts! 437 00:21:34,727 --> 00:21:37,527 come on. 438 00:21:39,699 --> 00:21:41,469 - hey. 439 00:21:41,501 --> 00:21:42,801 - where have you been? 440 00:21:42,835 --> 00:21:44,395 harley was looking for you. 441 00:21:44,437 --> 00:21:46,607 - i'm here. what? i'm just a little late. 442 00:21:46,639 --> 00:21:48,409 - you missed the whole play. 443 00:21:48,441 --> 00:21:49,841 - i did? - yeah. 444 00:21:49,876 --> 00:21:51,506 - the credits rolling? 445 00:21:51,544 --> 00:21:53,084 no. 446 00:21:55,748 --> 00:21:57,518 - "are the credits rolling"? 447 00:21:57,550 --> 00:22:00,690 you have time to pop your head back out of the back seat. 448 00:22:00,720 --> 00:22:03,520 she smells like my uncle's camper. 449 00:22:03,556 --> 00:22:05,726 - what did that smell like? - like beer. 450 00:22:05,758 --> 00:22:08,558 like beer and sorrow. 451 00:22:08,595 --> 00:22:10,025 - come on. let's get the car. 452 00:22:10,062 --> 00:22:12,432 goodness. 453 00:22:12,465 --> 00:22:16,365 - hey, wegman, your mom's finally here. 454 00:22:16,403 --> 00:22:17,373 - how do you know? 455 00:22:17,404 --> 00:22:18,574 - 'cause the smell of booze 456 00:22:18,605 --> 00:22:20,135 and used condoms just filled the air. 457 00:22:21,874 --> 00:22:25,384 oh, wait -- she's never even used a condom before. 458 00:22:25,412 --> 00:22:28,112 - hey! there you are! 459 00:22:28,147 --> 00:22:29,617 you were great! 460 00:22:29,649 --> 00:22:31,049 - how would you know? 461 00:22:31,083 --> 00:22:33,753 - huh? oh. didn't you hear the applause? 462 00:22:33,786 --> 00:22:34,946 everyone loved you! 463 00:22:34,987 --> 00:22:36,687 - yeah, i heard it. 464 00:22:36,723 --> 00:22:39,833 but i didn't see you, mama. you missed it. 465 00:22:39,859 --> 00:22:44,059 - come here. give me a hug. 466 00:22:44,096 --> 00:22:46,396 i promise i'll be at the next one, okay? 467 00:22:46,433 --> 00:22:47,903 - i'll see ya. 468 00:22:47,934 --> 00:22:50,644 - hey! you have to forgive family. 469 00:22:50,670 --> 00:22:52,570 that's the rules, harley. 470 00:23:14,761 --> 00:23:16,701 you got a lot of nerve, 471 00:23:16,729 --> 00:23:18,899 showing up here late for your boy's show. 472 00:23:18,931 --> 00:23:20,701 - yeah. 473 00:23:20,733 --> 00:23:23,873 well, he couldn't have seen me if i came. 474 00:23:23,903 --> 00:23:25,943 i'm dead on earth, remember? 475 00:23:25,972 --> 00:23:30,182 besides... i'm enlightened. 476 00:23:30,209 --> 00:23:32,079 enlightened? 477 00:23:32,111 --> 00:23:33,811 - well, there's a whole lot of cool stuff about being a ghost, 478 00:23:33,846 --> 00:23:37,016 but the enlightened part, well, that's a bitch. 479 00:23:37,049 --> 00:23:39,649 i mean, trust me, it's a whole lot better 480 00:23:39,686 --> 00:23:41,846 not knowing nuttin' about nuttin' -- 481 00:23:41,888 --> 00:23:43,458 kind of like the way you live. 482 00:23:43,490 --> 00:23:44,660 - you know what? if you're here to haunt me, 483 00:23:44,691 --> 00:23:45,831 just get on with it. 484 00:23:45,858 --> 00:23:47,658 - why? 'cause randy's in town, 485 00:23:47,694 --> 00:23:50,164 and you're sneaking around so you can get busy? 486 00:23:50,196 --> 00:23:52,466 randy ain't gonna fix your problems. 487 00:23:52,499 --> 00:23:55,599 you got to fix them yourself. 488 00:23:55,635 --> 00:23:58,095 and i'm here to give you a second chance. 489 00:23:58,137 --> 00:23:59,137 - pbht! 490 00:23:59,171 --> 00:24:00,911 i don't need no second chance. 491 00:24:00,940 --> 00:24:03,710 - the heck you don't. i hear talk up here, cind. 492 00:24:03,743 --> 00:24:06,553 if you don't make some changes, they're coming for you. 493 00:24:06,579 --> 00:24:08,619 - don't you worry about me. i'm fine. 494 00:24:08,648 --> 00:24:11,578 - you ain't fine, cindy. all right? you ain't even close. 495 00:24:11,618 --> 00:24:14,618 you got to support them kids. you need a job. 496 00:24:14,654 --> 00:24:16,864 - wayne takes care of that. okay? 497 00:24:16,889 --> 00:24:18,529 i'm done. bye. 498 00:24:18,558 --> 00:24:20,888 - all right. suit yourself. 499 00:24:20,927 --> 00:24:22,927 you've been warned. 500 00:24:25,598 --> 00:24:27,798 - she saw you with lyle. that was good. 501 00:24:27,834 --> 00:24:30,704 - did aunt cindy touch you with her dirty welfare hands? 502 00:24:30,737 --> 00:24:32,067 - yes. 503 00:24:32,104 --> 00:24:34,944 - hey, champ. you were great tonight. 504 00:24:34,974 --> 00:24:36,284 - thank you, uncle bob. 505 00:24:36,308 --> 00:24:38,038 - marge? 506 00:24:38,077 --> 00:24:43,017 - i really think you look handsome in what you have on. 507 00:24:43,049 --> 00:24:46,049 i like it more than what you normally wear. 508 00:24:46,085 --> 00:24:47,745 it's clean. 509 00:24:47,787 --> 00:24:50,187 - um, uncle bob. 510 00:24:50,222 --> 00:24:53,192 i was wondering if i could have a ride home. 511 00:24:53,225 --> 00:24:56,025 - what about your mom? she finally showed. 512 00:24:57,764 --> 00:24:59,534 hey. 513 00:24:59,566 --> 00:25:01,166 you know she loves you, right? 514 00:25:01,200 --> 00:25:04,670 even though she has a strange way of showing it sometimes? 515 00:25:04,704 --> 00:25:07,214 - yeah. i know. 516 00:25:07,239 --> 00:25:08,909 - let's get some hot chocolate. 517 00:25:08,941 --> 00:25:12,111 - ooh! yum-yum. 518 00:25:22,321 --> 00:25:25,221 - what are you looking at, four-eyes? 519 00:25:25,257 --> 00:25:27,687 you don't remember me? 520 00:25:27,727 --> 00:25:30,327 - okay, i didn't make the play. sue me! 521 00:25:30,362 --> 00:25:32,972 - but you went to school here. 522 00:25:32,999 --> 00:25:34,769 - yeah, i went to school here. 523 00:25:34,801 --> 00:25:37,241 - i was in your 10th grade class. 524 00:25:37,269 --> 00:25:42,009 - you were in my 10th grade class? 525 00:25:42,041 --> 00:25:45,651 you don't look a day over like... 526 00:25:45,678 --> 00:25:48,208 polly prissy pants. 527 00:25:48,247 --> 00:25:50,347 - i never liked that nickname. 528 00:25:50,382 --> 00:25:51,852 - you're dead. 529 00:25:51,884 --> 00:25:55,054 you had that accident... 530 00:25:55,087 --> 00:25:58,187 with a donkey. 531 00:25:59,892 --> 00:26:03,302 yes. that's right. 532 00:26:03,329 --> 00:26:05,029 - are you a ghost, too? 533 00:26:05,064 --> 00:26:08,074 yes. and i'm here to help you. 534 00:26:08,100 --> 00:26:09,000 - crap. 535 00:26:09,035 --> 00:26:11,095 - if that's possible. 536 00:26:11,137 --> 00:26:12,867 - no, thanks. 537 00:26:12,905 --> 00:26:15,635 - this is a very important christmas for you and your kids. 538 00:26:15,675 --> 00:26:18,945 - you know what? christmas-schmishmas. 539 00:26:18,978 --> 00:26:20,648 - come on. 540 00:26:29,255 --> 00:26:31,715 - tears of joy. 541 00:26:31,758 --> 00:26:34,958 - oh, i look like a big sweet bun. 542 00:26:34,994 --> 00:26:38,404 you look like elizabeth taylor. 543 00:26:38,430 --> 00:26:41,870 - well, you look like marilyn monroe. 544 00:26:41,901 --> 00:26:43,971 and i don't know what you look like. 545 00:26:46,105 --> 00:26:49,035 so, have you taken your little ones to see santa? 546 00:26:49,075 --> 00:26:52,775 - i don't trust no man who wants to get dressed up in a costume 547 00:26:52,812 --> 00:26:54,652 and put little kids on his lap. 548 00:26:54,681 --> 00:26:57,121 right, cind? 549 00:26:57,149 --> 00:26:59,819 - cindy, i'll bet santa came to your house 550 00:26:59,852 --> 00:27:02,252 and brought you some beautiful presents. 551 00:27:02,288 --> 00:27:04,688 - our trailer don't have a chimney. 552 00:27:04,724 --> 00:27:06,234 - well, i don't know, cind. 553 00:27:06,258 --> 00:27:08,428 maybe santa made a mistake, and... 554 00:27:08,460 --> 00:27:12,000 i think he left something for you here at the shop. 555 00:27:12,031 --> 00:27:13,771 - there ain't no chimney here, either. 556 00:27:13,800 --> 00:27:15,100 - go on. take a look. 557 00:27:17,236 --> 00:27:19,836 dig around. 558 00:27:22,775 --> 00:27:25,205 - this is for me! 559 00:27:29,048 --> 00:27:31,318 - oh, my goodness. 560 00:27:31,350 --> 00:27:33,450 - hairdresser like you needs her own kit. 561 00:27:33,485 --> 00:27:34,785 - thank you, mama! 562 00:27:34,821 --> 00:27:36,691 - you're welcome, sugar. 563 00:27:36,723 --> 00:27:38,733 merry christmas, little girl. 564 00:27:38,758 --> 00:27:42,058 - you got a good mama, and a wonderful santa. 565 00:27:42,094 --> 00:27:43,904 - wanda, do you have any idea how long it's gonna be? 566 00:27:43,930 --> 00:27:45,100 i been waiting here. 567 00:27:45,131 --> 00:27:46,871 - doris, if i would've known 568 00:27:46,899 --> 00:27:48,699 you were so all-fire in a hurry to get your hair done, 569 00:27:48,735 --> 00:27:50,695 i would have told you to, uh, let cindy do it. 570 00:27:50,737 --> 00:27:53,067 - oh, goodness gracious. now, i don't know. 571 00:27:53,105 --> 00:27:54,735 - she can do it. isn't that right? 572 00:27:54,774 --> 00:27:56,484 - yes, she can. and you should trust me 573 00:27:56,508 --> 00:27:58,308 because she's as good as her mama, 574 00:27:58,344 --> 00:28:00,814 and she might even be better. now get in the car. 575 00:28:00,847 --> 00:28:03,947 - over here. right here. 576 00:28:03,983 --> 00:28:06,023 - you won't regret it. 577 00:28:06,052 --> 00:28:08,022 - you know what i see? 578 00:28:08,054 --> 00:28:09,724 - what? 579 00:28:09,756 --> 00:28:11,316 a couple middle-aged women 580 00:28:11,357 --> 00:28:14,357 that think a good haircut's gonna make their christmas? 581 00:28:14,393 --> 00:28:17,963 - i see a very happy little girl on christmas morning. 582 00:28:17,997 --> 00:28:20,967 - oh, yeah. just what kids love to do -- 583 00:28:21,000 --> 00:28:24,900 sweep up split ends and wash hair out of the plumbing. 584 00:28:24,937 --> 00:28:27,767 - i think that's exactly how you liked 585 00:28:27,807 --> 00:28:30,207 spending your christmas morning. 586 00:28:30,242 --> 00:28:33,852 - nice try, prissy pants. what else you got? 587 00:28:33,880 --> 00:28:35,350 - come on. 588 00:28:36,916 --> 00:28:40,446 - what kind of good-for-nothing waste of oxygen 589 00:28:40,486 --> 00:28:42,986 can't even cook a dang turkey?! 590 00:28:43,022 --> 00:28:45,492 aah! it's hot on my foot! 591 00:28:45,524 --> 00:28:46,994 - well, now you hang on. 592 00:28:47,026 --> 00:28:48,186 - damn broken foot! 593 00:28:48,227 --> 00:28:50,997 - there's some good meat in there. 594 00:28:51,030 --> 00:28:53,500 - i'm gonna set this bird free! 595 00:28:53,532 --> 00:28:56,942 this bird's gonna fly! 596 00:28:58,938 --> 00:29:02,208 - i think he just gave us "the bird." 597 00:29:04,543 --> 00:29:07,513 - that ain't funny. 598 00:29:07,546 --> 00:29:10,046 - get in he-- i don't care. get in. 599 00:29:10,082 --> 00:29:11,552 - you don't care. that's right. 600 00:29:11,583 --> 00:29:13,023 that's what you always say. 601 00:29:13,052 --> 00:29:14,552 "i don't care"! "i don't care"! 602 00:29:14,586 --> 00:29:16,786 - get in the dang house! - "i don't care"! 603 00:29:16,823 --> 00:29:18,223 - it's christmas time! 604 00:29:18,257 --> 00:29:19,987 - "i don't care." how many times i heard that?! 605 00:29:20,026 --> 00:29:21,556 it's always your fault! 606 00:29:21,593 --> 00:29:23,103 - let's go in. 607 00:29:23,129 --> 00:29:24,459 - well, it ain't my fault! 608 00:29:24,496 --> 00:29:26,126 - nothing's your fault! 609 00:29:26,165 --> 00:29:28,265 - you don't understand these easy ovens, ross! 610 00:29:28,300 --> 00:29:29,470 they are very complicated! 611 00:29:29,501 --> 00:29:30,841 - complicated? 612 00:29:30,870 --> 00:29:32,470 are you calling me a dummy? 613 00:29:32,504 --> 00:29:35,984 - you're acting like a dummy, and you are ruining christmas. 614 00:29:36,008 --> 00:29:38,178 - no! i ain't no dummy. 615 00:29:38,210 --> 00:29:39,850 - oh, you are a dummy. 616 00:29:39,879 --> 00:29:43,449 you are a d-u-m-m-apostrophe-y -- dummy. 617 00:29:43,482 --> 00:29:45,322 dummy, dummy, dummy! 618 00:29:45,351 --> 00:29:47,351 - i am not a dummy, and i will ruin christmas! 619 00:29:47,386 --> 00:29:49,156 i will ruin christmas! 620 00:29:49,188 --> 00:29:50,518 - oh, ross! for god's sake! 621 00:29:50,556 --> 00:29:53,926 put the tree down. put the dang tree down. 622 00:29:53,960 --> 00:29:55,560 you are ruining it. 623 00:29:55,594 --> 00:29:59,334 you are ruining everything, and you're scaring the kids. 624 00:29:59,365 --> 00:30:01,225 oh. 625 00:30:03,635 --> 00:30:05,065 - well... 626 00:30:05,104 --> 00:30:07,044 you want to open some presents, kids? 627 00:30:07,073 --> 00:30:08,473 ross, did you get the presents? 628 00:30:08,507 --> 00:30:11,437 - i didn't buy nobody no presents. 629 00:30:11,477 --> 00:30:17,477 i spent our money on a sweet chevelle for me. 630 00:30:17,516 --> 00:30:20,016 and i'm gonna get my behind 631 00:30:20,052 --> 00:30:23,592 the heck out of loserville! 632 00:30:25,892 --> 00:30:27,932 what are you looking at? 633 00:30:27,960 --> 00:30:29,560 - you ruined the tree. 634 00:30:29,595 --> 00:30:32,325 - you want a dang christmas tree? 635 00:30:32,364 --> 00:30:34,104 you got a dang christmas tree. 636 00:30:39,005 --> 00:30:40,235 - oh, for crying out loud. 637 00:30:40,272 --> 00:30:41,612 - how you liking it so far?! 638 00:30:41,640 --> 00:30:44,380 i think it's pretty dang good myself! 639 00:30:46,345 --> 00:30:49,275 there. you got a tree that ain't going nowhere, 640 00:30:49,315 --> 00:30:51,175 just like the rest of these losers 641 00:30:51,217 --> 00:30:52,447 in this dang trailer park. 642 00:30:52,484 --> 00:30:55,254 me? 643 00:30:55,287 --> 00:30:57,057 i'm free as a bird. 644 00:30:57,089 --> 00:30:59,289 and i'm gonna fly, broken foot and all! 645 00:30:59,325 --> 00:31:01,325 bobby. 646 00:31:01,360 --> 00:31:03,460 i want you to take of your sister and your mama. 647 00:31:03,495 --> 00:31:06,295 because you're the man of the house now. 648 00:31:08,400 --> 00:31:10,470 i'm flying! 649 00:31:23,349 --> 00:31:25,349 - ahh. 650 00:31:27,219 --> 00:31:29,319 go on. 651 00:31:29,355 --> 00:31:32,015 - you okay? 652 00:31:32,058 --> 00:31:33,658 - oh, sorry -- is this the part 653 00:31:33,692 --> 00:31:36,932 where i'm supposed to cry and feel all empty inside? 654 00:31:36,963 --> 00:31:39,073 - oh, i-i'm not here to tell you 655 00:31:39,098 --> 00:31:41,268 how to feel or what to do, cindy. 656 00:31:41,300 --> 00:31:43,140 - mm. you could've fooled me. 657 00:31:49,241 --> 00:31:52,711 - * noel, noel 658 00:31:52,744 --> 00:31:56,184 * noel, noel 659 00:31:56,215 --> 00:31:59,545 - just you and me for christmas today, harley. 660 00:31:59,585 --> 00:32:02,515 - what a cute baby harley was. 661 00:32:02,554 --> 00:32:05,464 - grandma's napping, and your mom will be home soon. 662 00:32:07,159 --> 00:32:08,359 - wait -- i don't remember this christmas. 663 00:32:08,394 --> 00:32:09,704 where was i? 664 00:32:09,728 --> 00:32:11,698 - i thought you'd never ask. 665 00:32:11,730 --> 00:32:14,300 - do it, twinkie! come on! do it again! 666 00:32:14,333 --> 00:32:16,273 come on, twinkie! do it! do it! 667 00:32:18,104 --> 00:32:21,444 yeah, twinkie! yeah! 668 00:32:21,473 --> 00:32:23,543 - i'm starting to feel a little loose. 669 00:32:23,575 --> 00:32:26,275 - come on, twinkie! come on! 670 00:32:26,312 --> 00:32:29,022 do it! come on! 671 00:32:29,048 --> 00:32:31,278 do it, twinkie! do it! 672 00:32:33,485 --> 00:32:34,745 - all right. 673 00:32:34,786 --> 00:32:37,516 finally you take me somewhere good. 674 00:32:37,556 --> 00:32:40,986 - * joyful, all ye nations rise 675 00:32:41,027 --> 00:32:44,297 * join the triumph of the skies * 676 00:32:44,330 --> 00:32:46,530 - here. drink. 677 00:32:46,565 --> 00:32:49,195 - no, thank you. i don't drink. 678 00:32:49,235 --> 00:32:50,395 - you don't drink?! 679 00:32:50,436 --> 00:32:53,206 everybody drinks. look. 680 00:32:53,239 --> 00:32:56,639 how do you think, you know, people are gonna... 681 00:32:56,675 --> 00:32:58,605 get together? 682 00:33:00,046 --> 00:33:01,376 - oh, god. 683 00:33:01,413 --> 00:33:03,053 don't tell me you haven't done that, either. 684 00:33:03,082 --> 00:33:05,082 - let's just drop it. 685 00:33:05,117 --> 00:33:09,657 - no. unh-unh. how are old are you -- like 16? 686 00:33:09,688 --> 00:33:11,658 - 17. 687 00:33:11,690 --> 00:33:13,090 - 17? 688 00:33:13,125 --> 00:33:14,555 okay, you need to loosen up. 689 00:33:14,593 --> 00:33:17,733 i had my first baby at 15. drink now. 690 00:33:17,763 --> 00:33:19,733 - but there are rules. 691 00:33:19,765 --> 00:33:22,625 - rules-schmools. it's a flipping party. look. 692 00:33:22,668 --> 00:33:27,168 - * veiled in flesh, the godhead see * 693 00:33:29,675 --> 00:33:32,475 that wasn't so bad! 694 00:33:32,511 --> 00:33:34,651 i kind of liked it. 695 00:33:34,680 --> 00:33:36,220 - well, breaking the rules 696 00:33:36,248 --> 00:33:38,448 is always better than not breaking the rules. 697 00:33:38,484 --> 00:33:39,694 - mmm. 698 00:33:39,718 --> 00:33:43,058 - * hark the herald angels sing 699 00:33:43,089 --> 00:33:44,489 - hey! 700 00:33:44,523 --> 00:33:45,693 what? come here. 701 00:33:45,724 --> 00:33:50,404 - oh! yeah! yeah! oh! 702 00:33:50,429 --> 00:33:53,429 - you know, i don't remember jake being so romantic, 703 00:33:53,465 --> 00:33:55,195 'cause i love to be romanced. 704 00:33:55,234 --> 00:33:57,304 - are you loving my loving? 705 00:33:57,336 --> 00:33:59,166 mm. 706 00:33:59,205 --> 00:34:01,105 - but wait. but do you have a condom? 707 00:34:01,140 --> 00:34:03,210 - that ain't gonna happen twice. 708 00:34:03,242 --> 00:34:05,782 randy. i should have known. 709 00:34:05,811 --> 00:34:09,381 - what about jake -- the father of your son, 710 00:34:09,415 --> 00:34:10,845 the guy whose room you're in? 711 00:34:10,882 --> 00:34:13,522 - dang. jake ain't nothing but a paintballer -- 712 00:34:13,552 --> 00:34:15,792 no future and currently dead, by the way. 713 00:34:15,821 --> 00:34:18,361 kind of sad, though. he didn't shoot blanks. 714 00:34:18,390 --> 00:34:21,860 you're useless! 715 00:34:21,893 --> 00:34:24,603 - geez, i was just having fun. 716 00:34:24,630 --> 00:34:26,370 i'm gonna get a refill. 717 00:34:32,438 --> 00:34:34,808 - you guys seen randy? 718 00:34:38,444 --> 00:34:40,414 excuse me. 719 00:34:40,446 --> 00:34:42,306 oh, my god! 720 00:34:42,348 --> 00:34:44,148 ohh! what is that? 721 00:34:44,183 --> 00:34:47,723 - it's pizza with a hint of hard-boiled egg. 722 00:34:47,753 --> 00:34:49,393 - that's disgusting. 723 00:34:49,421 --> 00:34:51,721 - i don't know whether to be grossed out 724 00:34:51,757 --> 00:34:53,857 or hungry again. 725 00:34:53,892 --> 00:34:55,592 - okay, you have serious problems. 726 00:34:55,627 --> 00:34:56,857 look, have you seen randy? 727 00:34:56,895 --> 00:34:58,595 me and him are supposed to hook up. 728 00:34:58,630 --> 00:35:01,230 - no. 729 00:35:01,267 --> 00:35:03,597 - have you seen randy? 730 00:35:03,635 --> 00:35:07,165 - excuse me. 731 00:35:07,206 --> 00:35:09,376 y-you can see me? 732 00:35:09,408 --> 00:35:10,808 - well, yes. 733 00:35:10,842 --> 00:35:12,482 if you're standing right there, i can see you. 734 00:35:12,511 --> 00:35:15,581 - what? no. no. how did that happen? 735 00:35:15,614 --> 00:35:18,324 - have you seen him or not? 736 00:35:18,350 --> 00:35:22,290 - i, um -- no, i haven't. 737 00:35:22,321 --> 00:35:25,821 - have another drink, why don't you? 738 00:35:25,857 --> 00:35:28,857 - i think i will. 739 00:35:32,231 --> 00:35:33,671 - randy? 740 00:35:33,699 --> 00:35:34,669 - pam. 741 00:35:34,700 --> 00:35:35,730 - randy? 742 00:35:35,767 --> 00:35:37,337 randy? 743 00:35:43,275 --> 00:35:44,935 - come with me and party! 744 00:35:44,976 --> 00:35:46,876 - * on the 12th day of christmas, my true love sent to me * 745 00:35:46,912 --> 00:35:49,222 * 12 drummers drumming, 11 pipers piping * 746 00:35:49,248 --> 00:35:51,348 * 10 lords a-leaping, 9 ladies dancing * 747 00:35:51,383 --> 00:35:53,223 * 8 maids a-milking, 7 swans a-swimming * 748 00:35:53,252 --> 00:35:59,232 * 6 geese a-laying, 5 golden rings * 749 00:35:59,258 --> 00:36:01,528 * 4 calling birds, 3 french hens * 750 00:36:01,560 --> 00:36:02,830 * 2 turtledoves 751 00:36:02,861 --> 00:36:08,401 * and a partridge in a pear tree * 752 00:36:08,434 --> 00:36:10,274 - mm. 753 00:36:10,302 --> 00:36:12,372 - i thought you were my friend. 754 00:36:12,404 --> 00:36:13,674 - oh, hey, pammy. 755 00:36:13,705 --> 00:36:14,665 uh, we was just looking for you. 756 00:36:14,706 --> 00:36:16,306 - yeah, looks like it. 757 00:36:16,342 --> 00:36:18,242 - pam, where have you been? - thanks a lot, cind. 758 00:36:18,277 --> 00:36:20,407 i mean, having jake and a baby isn't enough? 759 00:36:20,446 --> 00:36:22,406 you just got to have it all, don't you? 760 00:36:22,448 --> 00:36:24,818 you know something? you just -- you suck as a friend 761 00:36:24,850 --> 00:36:26,550 a-and as a mother and -- 762 00:36:26,585 --> 00:36:28,615 and -- and -- well, you just -- you plain suck! ah! 763 00:36:32,324 --> 00:36:33,594 - that was kind of harsh. 764 00:36:33,625 --> 00:36:34,825 - ew. 765 00:36:43,935 --> 00:36:45,935 - oh, wow. you had eggs, too. 766 00:36:45,971 --> 00:36:49,781 - get away from me. i want to be alone. 767 00:36:49,808 --> 00:36:51,538 - okay. 768 00:36:51,577 --> 00:36:55,647 - i'm gonna be in so much trouble. 769 00:36:55,681 --> 00:36:58,021 i suck at being a ghost! 770 00:37:02,421 --> 00:37:05,491 - hey, can we get out of here? this party blows. 771 00:37:05,524 --> 00:37:07,794 - you, cindy wegman, 772 00:37:07,826 --> 00:37:11,356 are a bad, bad person. 773 00:37:11,397 --> 00:37:13,397 - what? i didn't do nothing. 774 00:37:13,432 --> 00:37:16,302 - i was supposed to teach you something about yourself, 775 00:37:16,335 --> 00:37:18,035 and i failed! 776 00:37:18,069 --> 00:37:20,669 hey, everybody fails, okay? 777 00:37:20,706 --> 00:37:22,466 that's life. 778 00:37:22,508 --> 00:37:24,838 - you didn't learn poop from me! 779 00:37:24,876 --> 00:37:26,606 you're hopeless! 780 00:37:26,645 --> 00:37:29,845 ohh. oh, god. i need a bathroom. 781 00:37:34,953 --> 00:37:36,893 - i didn't do nothing. everybody fails. 782 00:37:36,922 --> 00:37:38,622 - mom, come on. wake up, mom. 783 00:37:38,657 --> 00:37:40,287 - what? 784 00:37:40,326 --> 00:37:41,626 - mom, there's someone here -- - harley? 785 00:37:41,660 --> 00:37:44,600 look at you all grown up. 786 00:37:44,630 --> 00:37:45,900 - mom? 787 00:37:45,931 --> 00:37:47,331 - hi. 788 00:37:47,366 --> 00:37:48,626 whoa. 789 00:37:50,001 --> 00:37:52,871 whoa. i need to slow my roll. 790 00:37:52,904 --> 00:37:54,744 i was just dreaming up a storm last night. 791 00:37:54,773 --> 00:37:56,643 - there's someone here from social services. 792 00:37:56,675 --> 00:37:59,005 you got to talk to her and make her think you're a fit mother. 793 00:37:59,044 --> 00:38:01,914 - a fit mother? you don't think i'm a fit mother? 794 00:38:01,947 --> 00:38:03,717 - well... - come here. 795 00:38:03,749 --> 00:38:05,749 i know i might not always act right, 796 00:38:05,784 --> 00:38:07,824 but you know i'm always gonna be there 797 00:38:07,853 --> 00:38:09,493 for you no matter what, right? 798 00:38:09,521 --> 00:38:11,091 - right. 799 00:38:11,122 --> 00:38:14,692 just... here. look. 800 00:38:14,726 --> 00:38:16,356 here. put this on. 801 00:38:16,395 --> 00:38:19,595 geez. 802 00:38:19,631 --> 00:38:20,871 - come on. 803 00:38:22,801 --> 00:38:24,871 - hello? hello? who's there? 804 00:38:27,072 --> 00:38:29,442 - decorating. 805 00:38:32,511 --> 00:38:34,851 - nice shot, little man! 806 00:38:36,615 --> 00:38:37,975 - so sorry about the mess, 807 00:38:38,016 --> 00:38:40,116 but we were not expecting company. 808 00:38:40,151 --> 00:38:41,691 - amanda jones, 809 00:38:41,720 --> 00:38:44,120 department of children and family services. 810 00:38:44,155 --> 00:38:46,015 quite a place you have here. 811 00:38:46,057 --> 00:38:48,557 do you mind if i look around? 812 00:38:48,594 --> 00:38:49,804 - oh, absolutely not. 813 00:38:49,828 --> 00:38:52,098 please, mrs. jones, have a look-see. 814 00:38:58,637 --> 00:39:00,607 - yep. that right there is pure gold. 815 00:39:00,639 --> 00:39:03,609 that's a real lock of constantine's hair -- 816 00:39:03,642 --> 00:39:04,882 the lead singer. 817 00:39:04,910 --> 00:39:06,750 god rest his soul. 818 00:39:06,778 --> 00:39:09,418 yeah, i probably would've sold you one night, harley, 819 00:39:09,448 --> 00:39:10,878 just to be with him, hmm? 820 00:39:10,916 --> 00:39:13,486 why is she jotting that down? 821 00:39:17,756 --> 00:39:19,156 - where are you going? 822 00:39:19,190 --> 00:39:20,830 - to talk with tim in town. 823 00:39:20,859 --> 00:39:22,029 - what? now? 824 00:39:22,060 --> 00:39:23,160 - yeah, i promised uncle bob. 825 00:39:23,194 --> 00:39:25,004 - i'll drive you. 826 00:39:25,030 --> 00:39:26,870 - mom, i told uncle bob -- - i don't care. 827 00:39:26,898 --> 00:39:29,768 please don't leave me alone here with her. 828 00:39:29,801 --> 00:39:32,501 - these bullies are hassling tim again, 829 00:39:32,538 --> 00:39:34,508 and just because someone had him kick them in the nuts. 830 00:39:34,540 --> 00:39:35,870 - well, that's not my fault! 831 00:39:35,907 --> 00:39:38,577 it's his dingdong haircut and his silly eyeglasses 832 00:39:38,610 --> 00:39:40,410 that make him get in trouble! 833 00:39:40,446 --> 00:39:42,506 - mom! - oh, you know what i mean. 834 00:39:42,548 --> 00:39:43,948 come on. 835 00:39:43,982 --> 00:39:46,492 i'm your mother, and you're staying right here. 836 00:39:46,518 --> 00:39:48,018 damn kids! - dang kids. 837 00:39:48,053 --> 00:39:49,923 da-- dang kids. 838 00:39:49,955 --> 00:39:51,585 yeah, they're always listening 839 00:39:51,623 --> 00:39:53,663 to their friends and not their parent. 840 00:39:53,692 --> 00:39:56,092 - it, um, appears the only items 841 00:39:56,127 --> 00:39:58,427 you have in your refrigerator 842 00:39:58,464 --> 00:40:02,004 are two cans of cheese-please and a liter of pop? 843 00:40:02,033 --> 00:40:04,043 - yeah, it's -- it's grocery day. 844 00:40:04,069 --> 00:40:05,969 - it's grocery day! it's grocery day. 845 00:40:06,004 --> 00:40:07,174 look, i know these kids. 846 00:40:07,205 --> 00:40:08,865 they -- they eat a full balanced diet 847 00:40:08,907 --> 00:40:10,877 'cause they're still growing and crap, so... 848 00:40:10,909 --> 00:40:13,139 - oh. so you do have a job? 849 00:40:13,178 --> 00:40:15,478 - no! working's for suckers! 850 00:40:15,514 --> 00:40:16,654 skoal! 851 00:40:16,682 --> 00:40:18,052 - i'm, actually -- um, 852 00:40:18,083 --> 00:40:20,653 i'm, like, in this transitional phase right now. 853 00:40:20,686 --> 00:40:23,686 - i've seen enough. 854 00:40:28,960 --> 00:40:30,660 uh, who is she? 855 00:40:30,696 --> 00:40:32,056 i-i don't have her on my list. 856 00:40:32,097 --> 00:40:33,967 - oh. um, she ain't really mine. 857 00:40:33,999 --> 00:40:36,499 see, her daddy is my friend with benefits. 858 00:40:36,535 --> 00:40:38,765 so she just comes around here sometimes. 859 00:40:38,804 --> 00:40:41,644 - right. hmm. well, it's been a pleasure. 860 00:40:41,673 --> 00:40:44,713 - oh. thank you. so, we cool here? 861 00:40:44,743 --> 00:40:45,943 - based on my evaluation, 862 00:40:45,977 --> 00:40:47,947 you don't meet the minimum requirements 863 00:40:47,979 --> 00:40:49,779 for the department of child care. 864 00:40:49,815 --> 00:40:51,015 - what? what does that mean? 865 00:40:51,049 --> 00:40:52,849 - we'll be in touch. 866 00:40:52,884 --> 00:40:54,054 - let me see that. 867 00:40:54,085 --> 00:40:56,685 - that is confidential! 868 00:40:58,289 --> 00:41:00,729 - you still got to take me to town. 869 00:41:00,759 --> 00:41:03,829 - no, i can't go dressed like this. get in there. 870 00:41:14,606 --> 00:41:16,836 - cindy, what are you doing here? 871 00:41:16,875 --> 00:41:19,175 - don't you "cindy" me, you back-stabbing son of a bitch! 872 00:41:19,210 --> 00:41:20,280 - language! 873 00:41:20,311 --> 00:41:21,551 - or was it you, marge? 874 00:41:21,580 --> 00:41:23,150 - what is this all about? 875 00:41:23,181 --> 00:41:24,921 - what's this all about?! 876 00:41:24,950 --> 00:41:27,020 your lard of a wife called the government people on me 877 00:41:27,052 --> 00:41:28,552 to take my kids away! 878 00:41:28,587 --> 00:41:32,087 - i am big-boned, and that is the way god made me. 879 00:41:32,123 --> 00:41:36,133 - marjorie? - i was doing my civic duty. 880 00:41:36,161 --> 00:41:40,131 - the kids could use a little more stability, cind. 881 00:41:40,165 --> 00:41:41,895 - oh. what kind of a person 882 00:41:41,933 --> 00:41:44,303 doesn't want their own mother to be with their kids?! 883 00:41:44,335 --> 00:41:46,935 - cindy, you don't deserve those kids. 884 00:41:46,972 --> 00:41:49,942 you need to take a good long look at yourself. 885 00:41:49,975 --> 00:41:52,835 you rely on everybody to do things for you. 886 00:41:52,878 --> 00:41:54,708 you know, your kids don't even expect 887 00:41:54,746 --> 00:41:56,546 christmas presents this year from you 888 00:41:56,582 --> 00:41:58,652 because they know that, if you had one cent, 889 00:41:58,684 --> 00:42:00,294 you'd spend it on yourself, 890 00:42:00,318 --> 00:42:02,618 or you'd put it in some stupid scheme that doesn't pay off. 891 00:42:02,654 --> 00:42:05,324 and on top of that, my little timmy has a black eye 892 00:42:05,356 --> 00:42:07,656 for the christmas portrait this year 893 00:42:07,693 --> 00:42:10,163 because harley was too busy saving your butt, 894 00:42:10,195 --> 00:42:12,325 instead of walking him home from town. 895 00:42:12,363 --> 00:42:13,803 and i'm sorry i said "butt." 896 00:42:13,832 --> 00:42:15,672 okay? don't say that. mommy is mad. 897 00:42:15,701 --> 00:42:17,971 - bob! are you gonna say anything?! 898 00:42:20,639 --> 00:42:23,169 - she does have a point, cind. 899 00:42:25,343 --> 00:42:28,583 fine. fine. 900 00:42:28,614 --> 00:42:29,824 you know what? 901 00:42:29,848 --> 00:42:31,718 i don't need any of you guys, okay? 902 00:42:31,750 --> 00:42:34,990 and, peepers, i'm really sorry about your eye. 903 00:42:37,956 --> 00:42:40,326 - is aunt cindy mad at me? 904 00:42:40,358 --> 00:42:42,328 it's okay, honey. 905 00:42:42,360 --> 00:42:43,860 just -- just eat. 906 00:42:43,895 --> 00:42:45,795 let's just wash the day off of us, okay? 907 00:42:45,831 --> 00:42:47,071 none of this happened. 908 00:43:05,250 --> 00:43:07,050 hey! 909 00:43:07,085 --> 00:43:08,285 what are you doing here? 910 00:43:08,319 --> 00:43:10,759 - oh, uh... nothing. 911 00:43:10,789 --> 00:43:14,159 i'm just -- um, just, uh, cutting school. 912 00:43:14,192 --> 00:43:15,992 - oh! 913 00:43:16,027 --> 00:43:17,227 well, you seen wayne? 914 00:43:17,262 --> 00:43:18,802 - no. 915 00:43:18,830 --> 00:43:21,000 why -- why would i have seen wayne? 916 00:43:21,032 --> 00:43:23,032 - 'cause he works here. 917 00:43:23,068 --> 00:43:25,098 - well, um... yeah. 918 00:43:25,136 --> 00:43:27,636 no, i... i haven't seen him. 919 00:43:27,673 --> 00:43:28,873 - okay. cool. 920 00:43:30,976 --> 00:43:34,976 there you are, my little worker bee. 921 00:43:35,013 --> 00:43:36,083 - hey, baby. 922 00:43:36,114 --> 00:43:37,084 - hi. 923 00:43:37,115 --> 00:43:38,375 hope you don't mind, 924 00:43:38,416 --> 00:43:40,686 but i charged a few things on your account. 925 00:43:42,854 --> 00:43:45,164 hey, wink. can i have a sec? 926 00:43:45,190 --> 00:43:47,230 - yeah. 927 00:43:47,258 --> 00:43:49,158 - hi, wink. 928 00:43:49,194 --> 00:43:50,704 hey. 929 00:43:53,064 --> 00:43:54,304 hit... and run. 930 00:43:54,332 --> 00:43:56,372 - i don't know, cind. 931 00:43:56,401 --> 00:43:58,741 we got to watch the spending. 932 00:43:58,770 --> 00:44:01,110 and these scratchers? 933 00:44:01,139 --> 00:44:03,839 - well, what if we won, though? 934 00:44:05,443 --> 00:44:07,183 - and donkey soap? 935 00:44:07,212 --> 00:44:10,182 - no, it's supposed to be really good for your face. 936 00:44:10,215 --> 00:44:12,715 cleopatra used it. 937 00:44:12,751 --> 00:44:15,751 wayne, you have your whole college fund to fall back on. 938 00:44:15,787 --> 00:44:17,917 come on. 939 00:44:17,956 --> 00:44:20,086 - my mama and daddy saved up that money 940 00:44:20,125 --> 00:44:22,925 so i could have a life outside of the trailer park. 941 00:44:22,961 --> 00:44:26,201 - well, what's wrong with the trailer park? 942 00:44:26,231 --> 00:44:27,401 - nothing. 943 00:44:27,432 --> 00:44:29,232 - do you love me, or don't you? 944 00:44:29,267 --> 00:44:32,367 - of course i do. that's why i'm still here. 945 00:44:32,403 --> 00:44:34,413 - well, if you're still here, 946 00:44:34,439 --> 00:44:37,339 then let's make the most of it, right? 947 00:44:40,879 --> 00:44:43,349 can you do me a favor before you get off? 948 00:44:43,381 --> 00:44:45,021 - what? 949 00:44:46,952 --> 00:44:50,022 apparently, the kids should eat more than just cheez whiz. 950 00:44:50,055 --> 00:44:52,915 can you pick up some food? 951 00:44:52,958 --> 00:44:56,028 thank you. 952 00:44:56,061 --> 00:44:58,261 you're the best. 953 00:45:17,348 --> 00:45:20,818 oh, my... 954 00:45:20,852 --> 00:45:23,422 oh, my rock goodness! 955 00:45:28,159 --> 00:45:31,529 i am your ghost of christmas present. 956 00:45:31,562 --> 00:45:33,102 - hi! 957 00:45:34,399 --> 00:45:36,169 - it's okay. 958 00:45:36,201 --> 00:45:38,841 you can touch. 959 00:45:45,210 --> 00:45:48,380 i can't believe you died at the end of your christmas video. 960 00:45:48,413 --> 00:45:51,383 that must have really sucked. 961 00:45:51,416 --> 00:45:52,976 - no worries. 962 00:45:53,018 --> 00:45:55,148 even the ladies up there love the rock gods. 963 00:45:55,186 --> 00:45:56,446 you know what i mean? 964 00:45:56,487 --> 00:45:59,357 yeah. 965 00:45:59,390 --> 00:46:01,790 - you'll see when you get up there... 966 00:46:01,827 --> 00:46:04,297 which is gonna be pretty soon. 967 00:46:04,329 --> 00:46:06,299 - oh. 968 00:46:06,331 --> 00:46:08,571 yeah, yeah. i heard. 969 00:46:08,599 --> 00:46:10,999 well, yeah, i ain't living so good, 970 00:46:11,036 --> 00:46:13,136 but what are you gonna do? 971 00:46:13,171 --> 00:46:14,541 - i'll show you. 972 00:46:14,572 --> 00:46:15,872 - okay. 973 00:46:15,907 --> 00:46:17,877 - let's get this party started. 974 00:46:20,078 --> 00:46:22,178 - we've already done this one. 975 00:46:22,213 --> 00:46:25,253 - things aren't always what they appear. 976 00:46:29,520 --> 00:46:33,590 - what a double-crosser! pam and randy?! 977 00:46:33,624 --> 00:46:36,834 he's supposed to be back in town to see me. 978 00:46:36,862 --> 00:46:38,962 - let's just see how this plays out. 979 00:46:38,997 --> 00:46:40,297 - ugh. 980 00:46:40,331 --> 00:46:42,171 - you want me to give you a tour? 981 00:46:42,200 --> 00:46:44,970 - i want a tour of the inside. 982 00:46:45,003 --> 00:46:47,343 - oh. he don't need a damn tour. 983 00:46:47,372 --> 00:46:49,512 he's been here a million times. 984 00:46:49,540 --> 00:46:52,410 - i'm not a psychic or anything, but... 985 00:46:52,443 --> 00:46:55,853 i don't think she's gonna give him a tour -- 986 00:46:55,881 --> 00:46:58,581 not of the house, anyway. 987 00:46:58,616 --> 00:47:01,116 - okay, i need a drink. 988 00:47:01,152 --> 00:47:03,322 - christmas time -- everybody needs a drink. 989 00:47:03,354 --> 00:47:04,594 i'll take a cool one. 990 00:47:04,622 --> 00:47:06,622 - here you go. 991 00:47:06,657 --> 00:47:08,287 - salud. 992 00:47:08,326 --> 00:47:09,526 - i'm pissed. 993 00:47:09,560 --> 00:47:11,030 - salud. 994 00:47:13,899 --> 00:47:17,169 - * on the 12th day of christmas, my true love sent to me * 995 00:47:17,202 --> 00:47:19,402 * 12 drummers drumming, 11 pipers piping * 996 00:47:19,437 --> 00:47:21,337 * 10 lords a-leaping, 9 ladies dancing * 997 00:47:21,372 --> 00:47:23,012 - brandie! 998 00:47:23,041 --> 00:47:24,581 - * 7 swans a-swimming, 6 geese a-laying * 999 00:47:24,609 --> 00:47:29,049 * 5 golden rings 1000 00:47:29,080 --> 00:47:31,520 - they grow up so fast these days, don't they? 1001 00:47:31,549 --> 00:47:32,979 - what is she doing here? 1002 00:47:33,018 --> 00:47:34,388 - i wonder where she gets it. 1003 00:47:34,419 --> 00:47:38,319 - * and a partridge in a pear tree * 1004 00:47:54,539 --> 00:47:56,139 - hey, i still got it. 1005 00:47:57,475 --> 00:48:00,105 - we still got it. 1006 00:48:00,145 --> 00:48:01,575 - you know, i cannot believe 1007 00:48:01,612 --> 00:48:04,082 that dirty ho is sleeping with my man. 1008 00:48:04,115 --> 00:48:07,445 i thought wayne was your man. 1009 00:48:07,485 --> 00:48:09,485 - that's not the point, okay? 1010 00:48:09,520 --> 00:48:13,020 dang ghosts are screwing up my life. 1011 00:48:14,325 --> 00:48:18,425 what's the world coming to? 1012 00:48:18,463 --> 00:48:20,533 this is my mama's place. 1013 00:48:22,133 --> 00:48:23,633 hey! loser! 1014 00:48:23,668 --> 00:48:26,198 go drain it somewhere else! 1015 00:48:27,638 --> 00:48:32,438 - so you do care a little bit -- a very little bit. 1016 00:48:32,477 --> 00:48:34,107 - what? no! 1017 00:48:34,145 --> 00:48:37,075 i didn't ask my mama to leave me this place. 1018 00:48:37,115 --> 00:48:38,515 - so why didn't you sell it? 1019 00:48:38,549 --> 00:48:40,519 - 'cause. - 'cause why? 1020 00:48:40,551 --> 00:48:43,591 - 'cause i just didn't, okay? 1021 00:48:45,456 --> 00:48:47,456 kind of makes me think about my mama sometimes. 1022 00:48:47,492 --> 00:48:49,632 - what'd you say? i couldn't hear you. 1023 00:48:49,660 --> 00:48:53,060 - i said it kind of makes me think about my mama sometimes -- 1024 00:48:53,098 --> 00:48:55,328 big, fat, hairy deal. 1025 00:48:55,366 --> 00:48:57,636 - let's go. 1026 00:48:57,668 --> 00:48:59,438 - oh, come on. 1027 00:48:59,470 --> 00:49:03,310 like i don't see this guy enough every day. 1028 00:49:03,341 --> 00:49:05,381 - all right. i got you. 1029 00:49:05,410 --> 00:49:08,310 you're looking for something adventurous and sexy, right? 1030 00:49:08,346 --> 00:49:13,576 i got you this sporty model -- very popular, top-of-the-line. 1031 00:49:13,618 --> 00:49:15,088 - it is a beautiful machine. 1032 00:49:15,120 --> 00:49:16,750 - oh, yeah. 1033 00:49:16,787 --> 00:49:21,027 - but i'm looking for something a little more family-oriented. 1034 00:49:21,059 --> 00:49:23,159 - oh! got you! 1035 00:49:23,194 --> 00:49:25,334 little lady prego, huh? huh? 1036 00:49:25,363 --> 00:49:27,073 uh, no. no. 1037 00:49:27,098 --> 00:49:29,668 - but i have plenty of cash for a down payment, so... 1038 00:49:29,700 --> 00:49:32,700 - ohh! what an idiot! 1039 00:49:32,737 --> 00:49:36,437 who tells a car salesman they have a pocket full of cash? 1040 00:49:36,474 --> 00:49:38,344 - but did you notice 1041 00:49:38,376 --> 00:49:42,606 he was looking for something "family-oriented"? 1042 00:49:45,583 --> 00:49:48,093 does it matter that you're not in love with him? 1043 00:49:48,119 --> 00:49:50,359 - you said it -- cash, tax. 1044 00:49:50,388 --> 00:49:52,158 - okay, next. 1045 00:49:52,190 --> 00:49:55,230 - is that all you got to say? 1046 00:49:56,627 --> 00:49:59,297 - she is a grown woman. she's not a child. 1047 00:49:59,330 --> 00:50:01,500 timmy, on the other hand, is your child. 1048 00:50:01,532 --> 00:50:03,202 - but she is my sister. 1049 00:50:03,234 --> 00:50:04,644 - i know you don't unders-- 1050 00:50:04,669 --> 00:50:08,109 - oh! i don't what? i don't understand? 1051 00:50:08,139 --> 00:50:09,739 i have siblings, too, but they're adults, 1052 00:50:09,774 --> 00:50:11,284 and they can take care of themselves. 1053 00:50:11,309 --> 00:50:12,539 - well, maybe you're right. 1054 00:50:12,577 --> 00:50:14,507 - she has to fail. she has to learn to fail. 1055 00:50:14,545 --> 00:50:17,245 - i can't believe she's getting to him. 1056 00:50:17,282 --> 00:50:20,252 - but christmas will not be the same without them! 1057 00:50:20,285 --> 00:50:22,345 - no, it won't. no, it won't. 1058 00:50:22,387 --> 00:50:24,587 we won't have to watch a picnic full of people 1059 00:50:24,622 --> 00:50:26,792 eating roast beef and gravy with their fingers 1060 00:50:26,824 --> 00:50:28,734 and then taking the bottom of their shirts 1061 00:50:28,759 --> 00:50:30,229 and wiping their mouths. 1062 00:50:30,261 --> 00:50:31,631 and then to top it all off, 1063 00:50:31,662 --> 00:50:33,632 the burping and the farting that happens -- 1064 00:50:33,664 --> 00:50:35,704 it makes the dog walk away, it's so disgusting! 1065 00:50:35,733 --> 00:50:37,343 - okay, okay. 1066 00:50:37,368 --> 00:50:39,638 last year was pretty bad -- i admit it. 1067 00:50:39,670 --> 00:50:41,670 - yes, it was pretty bad. 1068 00:50:41,706 --> 00:50:43,736 it was a white trash christmas. 1069 00:50:43,774 --> 00:50:45,144 i hate saying that, 1070 00:50:45,176 --> 00:50:46,806 but it was a white trash christmas, 1071 00:50:46,844 --> 00:50:49,214 and i am not having that again this year. 1072 00:50:49,247 --> 00:50:52,147 - okay, so you're saying you're not gonna have them here? 1073 00:50:52,183 --> 00:50:54,153 - i am saying that, bob. 1074 00:50:54,185 --> 00:50:56,815 i am saying that. look at this. huh? 1075 00:50:56,854 --> 00:50:58,364 - ugh. 1076 00:50:58,389 --> 00:51:00,329 - that is a symbol of status 1077 00:51:00,358 --> 00:51:02,328 and achievement and class -- 1078 00:51:02,360 --> 00:51:06,130 something your sister will never know anything about. 1079 00:51:06,164 --> 00:51:09,104 and if she was smart -- and we know she's not -- 1080 00:51:09,134 --> 00:51:11,844 she would take that stupid hammered gold record 1081 00:51:11,869 --> 00:51:14,809 and sell it and sign the beauty shop over to us. 1082 00:51:14,839 --> 00:51:18,109 - "stupid record's" uncalled for. 1083 00:51:18,143 --> 00:51:19,783 - okay, i cannot do this anymore. 1084 00:51:19,810 --> 00:51:21,180 i cannot do this anymore. 1085 00:51:21,212 --> 00:51:22,382 - what?! honey! what?! 1086 00:51:22,413 --> 00:51:23,583 - i've had it. 1087 00:51:23,614 --> 00:51:24,784 - what are you doing?! 1088 00:51:24,815 --> 00:51:27,115 - look, we need you. 1089 00:51:27,152 --> 00:51:29,252 but we need 100 % of you. 1090 00:51:29,287 --> 00:51:30,457 - you've got it! 1091 00:51:30,488 --> 00:51:31,658 - no, we don't. 1092 00:51:31,689 --> 00:51:33,659 - baby, please, don't -- - come on. 1093 00:51:33,691 --> 00:51:35,431 - don't go. i'm -- i'm begging you. 1094 00:51:35,460 --> 00:51:37,230 - looks like he loves her to me. 1095 00:51:37,262 --> 00:51:39,302 that is pathetic, bob! 1096 00:51:39,330 --> 00:51:42,300 - we're gonna go stay with my parents for a while. 1097 00:51:42,333 --> 00:51:44,573 - it's christmas. 1098 00:51:44,602 --> 00:51:45,802 - that is so wrong. 1099 00:51:45,836 --> 00:51:47,706 she knows how bad bobby felt 1100 00:51:47,738 --> 00:51:50,338 when our daddy left us on christmas. 1101 00:51:50,375 --> 00:51:51,875 - i don't want to leave! 1102 00:51:51,909 --> 00:51:54,649 i want a christmas here with everybody! 1103 00:51:54,679 --> 00:51:56,149 - honey, it's okay. just come. 1104 00:51:56,181 --> 00:51:57,581 i don't want to go! 1105 00:51:57,615 --> 00:51:59,775 - we're just gonna go with grandma and grandpa 1106 00:51:59,817 --> 00:52:02,317 for a little while and have christmas over there. 1107 00:52:02,353 --> 00:52:06,363 you got to make a choice -- it's either her or me. 1108 00:52:13,631 --> 00:52:15,731 - so, are we done? 1109 00:52:15,766 --> 00:52:17,236 - almost. 1110 00:52:17,268 --> 00:52:19,338 well there ain't nothing here 1111 00:52:19,370 --> 00:52:21,470 at the dollar king that i don't know about. 1112 00:52:21,506 --> 00:52:22,706 - are you sure about that? 1113 00:52:22,740 --> 00:52:24,410 'cause if you're sure about that, 1114 00:52:24,442 --> 00:52:25,782 i'll make you a wager. 1115 00:52:25,810 --> 00:52:28,710 - oh, yeah? and what do i get if i win? 1116 00:52:28,746 --> 00:52:30,516 - i'll leave you alone. 1117 00:52:30,548 --> 00:52:31,818 - hmm. 1118 00:52:31,849 --> 00:52:33,519 and what do you get if you win, 1119 00:52:33,551 --> 00:52:35,591 which you won't, but what do you get? 1120 00:52:35,620 --> 00:52:37,360 - you get cleaning supplies, 1121 00:52:37,388 --> 00:52:39,718 and you clean up your mom's old salon. 1122 00:52:39,757 --> 00:52:41,487 - that's it? 1123 00:52:41,526 --> 00:52:43,956 just clean up her salon and not actually work there? 1124 00:52:43,994 --> 00:52:45,364 - that's up to you. 1125 00:52:45,396 --> 00:52:47,626 deal. 1126 00:52:50,901 --> 00:52:52,671 well, if you don't shake, 1127 00:52:52,703 --> 00:52:54,243 then how are you gonna know i'm not gonna keep my word? 1128 00:52:54,272 --> 00:52:55,872 - i trust you wouldn't break your word 1129 00:52:55,906 --> 00:52:57,676 with the one and only constantine. 1130 00:53:00,511 --> 00:53:03,651 you're probably right. i probably won't. 1131 00:53:09,687 --> 00:53:12,517 see? i knew harley skipped school! 1132 00:53:14,325 --> 00:53:15,755 - maybe he was lying. 1133 00:53:15,793 --> 00:53:19,603 - lying? harley don't lie to me. 1134 00:53:19,630 --> 00:53:23,970 - take a closer look and think really hard. 1135 00:53:24,001 --> 00:53:25,401 - okay. 1136 00:53:25,436 --> 00:53:28,636 - it's christmastime. school is out. 1137 00:53:28,673 --> 00:53:30,813 it's 9:00 p.m. at night. 1138 00:53:30,841 --> 00:53:33,981 - wow. yeah, i guess you're right. 1139 00:53:34,011 --> 00:53:36,581 i wonder why harley would have lied about skipping school. 1140 00:53:36,614 --> 00:53:38,684 - well, maybe... 1141 00:53:38,716 --> 00:53:41,486 he's hiding something. 1142 00:53:41,519 --> 00:53:44,389 - huh. 1143 00:53:44,422 --> 00:53:49,492 harley has a shirt with his name on it?! 1144 00:53:49,527 --> 00:53:52,457 he has a job! 1145 00:53:52,497 --> 00:53:54,527 that little bastard. 1146 00:53:54,565 --> 00:53:56,365 - literally. - hey. 1147 00:53:56,401 --> 00:53:59,001 what does he need money for? 1148 00:53:59,036 --> 00:54:02,706 i mean, if he has a job, then i should be getting... 1149 00:54:02,740 --> 00:54:04,540 - you should ge getting what? 1150 00:54:04,575 --> 00:54:07,505 - well, i should just know about it because he's my son, 1151 00:54:07,545 --> 00:54:10,315 and i should know about everything that he's doing. 1152 00:54:10,348 --> 00:54:13,018 - mm-hmm. so if you knew about this job... 1153 00:54:13,050 --> 00:54:15,550 you wouldn't buy all that needless crap 1154 00:54:15,586 --> 00:54:18,456 on his credit account, ask him to bring home pop, 1155 00:54:18,489 --> 00:54:20,389 cheez whiz, and lotto tickets? 1156 00:54:20,425 --> 00:54:21,655 that wouldn't happen? 1157 00:54:26,864 --> 00:54:28,574 - ah, champ. 1158 00:54:28,599 --> 00:54:31,739 they got you stacking toilet paper. 1159 00:54:31,769 --> 00:54:33,969 - merry christmas, uncle bob. 1160 00:54:34,004 --> 00:54:35,674 and i'm... 1161 00:54:35,706 --> 00:54:37,436 i'm sorry about tim's black eye. 1162 00:54:37,475 --> 00:54:39,775 - oh, he'll be fine. 1163 00:54:39,810 --> 00:54:42,950 i'm not too merry, though. marge left me. 1164 00:54:42,980 --> 00:54:44,780 - how come? 1165 00:54:44,815 --> 00:54:47,515 - oh, it's nothing. she'll be back... 1166 00:54:47,552 --> 00:54:48,722 i hope. 1167 00:54:48,753 --> 00:54:51,723 anyway, i'm here for you. 1168 00:54:51,756 --> 00:54:54,016 is this what you wanted? 1169 00:54:54,058 --> 00:54:56,328 - yeah. thanks for doing this, uncle bob. 1170 00:54:56,361 --> 00:54:58,561 i mean, they wouldn't send the bill out to a kid. 1171 00:54:58,596 --> 00:55:00,796 - hey, champ, you don't have to do this. 1172 00:55:00,831 --> 00:55:04,301 - um, i know, but... i kind of have to. 1173 00:55:11,542 --> 00:55:14,412 thi-- this is like the whole check. 1174 00:55:14,445 --> 00:55:15,775 - yeah. let me take -- 1175 00:55:15,813 --> 00:55:18,683 - no. no, uncle bob. i... 1176 00:55:18,716 --> 00:55:21,016 i need to take care of us. 1177 00:55:21,051 --> 00:55:22,891 - all right. 1178 00:55:22,920 --> 00:55:25,790 you endorse it right here and sign it right to the dwp. 1179 00:55:25,823 --> 00:55:27,463 - well, i guess that's why the power 1180 00:55:27,492 --> 00:55:28,862 didn't get turned off last month. 1181 00:55:30,861 --> 00:55:33,631 hey. 1182 00:55:33,664 --> 00:55:35,774 - i'm proud of you, champ. 1183 00:55:35,800 --> 00:55:37,500 you're becoming quite the little man. 1184 00:55:37,535 --> 00:55:39,665 uh, i-i mean big man. 1185 00:55:39,704 --> 00:55:41,574 - thanks, uncle bob. 1186 00:55:41,606 --> 00:55:44,436 - all right. let's get out of here. 1187 00:55:44,475 --> 00:55:47,105 it's christmas eve. 1188 00:55:47,144 --> 00:55:50,824 - so that how the electric bill was paid last month. 1189 00:55:50,848 --> 00:55:53,148 - cindy, where did you come from? 1190 00:55:53,183 --> 00:55:56,853 - i was just here. i was shopping around. 1191 00:55:59,123 --> 00:56:01,933 so why'd you -- uh... why'd you get a job? 1192 00:56:03,661 --> 00:56:05,661 - i mean, the bills had to get paid somehow. 1193 00:56:05,696 --> 00:56:07,666 - well, you shouldn't have to worry about that. 1194 00:56:07,698 --> 00:56:09,398 - well, what's good having a big-screen tv 1195 00:56:09,434 --> 00:56:10,644 if you can't watch it? 1196 00:56:13,604 --> 00:56:15,844 come here. 1197 00:56:15,873 --> 00:56:18,713 all right. 1198 00:56:18,743 --> 00:56:20,553 i'm -- uh, i have to go now, so 1199 00:56:20,578 --> 00:56:22,178 - phew. 1200 00:56:22,212 --> 00:56:24,782 i thought for a second that maybe you actually cared 1201 00:56:24,815 --> 00:56:26,145 about somebody other than yourself. 1202 00:56:26,183 --> 00:56:27,853 - where are you going, mama? 1203 00:56:27,885 --> 00:56:29,145 i made a promise 1204 00:56:29,186 --> 00:56:30,756 to someone that i-i want to keep. 1205 00:56:30,788 --> 00:56:32,988 - what about your promises to your kids? 1206 00:56:33,023 --> 00:56:34,733 - i intend to keep those, too. 1207 00:56:38,996 --> 00:56:40,596 - have a good time. 1208 00:56:40,631 --> 00:56:42,601 come on, bud. 1209 00:56:45,903 --> 00:56:48,673 whatever. 1210 00:56:55,079 --> 00:56:57,009 boo! 1211 00:56:57,047 --> 00:56:58,847 - baby, i've been looking all over for you. 1212 00:56:58,883 --> 00:57:00,523 - wayne, i don't have time right now. 1213 00:57:00,551 --> 00:57:01,891 - come on! you're gonna love this! 1214 00:57:01,919 --> 00:57:03,719 - what? oh, you got a minivan? 1215 00:57:03,754 --> 00:57:05,164 so what? 1216 00:57:05,189 --> 00:57:06,789 - no, that's not the surprise. 1217 00:57:06,824 --> 00:57:08,894 oh, boy, do i have a christmas present for you. 1218 00:57:08,926 --> 00:57:10,856 wait -- how'd you know i got a minivan? 1219 00:57:10,895 --> 00:57:12,625 - what? 1220 00:57:12,663 --> 00:57:14,103 - how'd you know i got -- never mind. come on. 1221 00:57:14,131 --> 00:57:15,601 i want you to see your present. 1222 00:57:15,633 --> 00:57:16,803 okay. 1223 00:57:16,834 --> 00:57:17,874 - come on. 1224 00:57:17,902 --> 00:57:19,642 just keep your eyes closed. 1225 00:57:19,670 --> 00:57:20,970 - they're closed. 1226 00:57:21,005 --> 00:57:22,835 - no peeking. turn. 1227 00:57:22,873 --> 00:57:24,213 you ready? 1228 00:57:24,241 --> 00:57:25,581 - yeah. 1229 00:57:25,610 --> 00:57:27,040 - ta-da! 1230 00:57:27,077 --> 00:57:29,107 - merry christmas! 1231 00:57:29,146 --> 00:57:30,716 oh, my -- 1232 00:57:34,752 --> 00:57:36,892 wow! 1233 00:57:36,921 --> 00:57:38,721 wayne! 1234 00:57:38,756 --> 00:57:40,886 this is mine? i own this? 1235 00:57:40,925 --> 00:57:42,885 - all yours. 1236 00:57:42,927 --> 00:57:45,597 - i have never gotten anything this nice 1237 00:57:45,630 --> 00:57:47,100 in my entire life, wayne. 1238 00:57:47,131 --> 00:57:49,771 - so then... you like it? 1239 00:57:49,800 --> 00:57:52,140 'cause the guy i got it from said it's in great condition. 1240 00:57:52,169 --> 00:57:53,969 - matsui, your favorite co-- 1241 00:57:54,004 --> 00:57:56,574 - please stop talking. i just need a minute. 1242 00:57:56,607 --> 00:57:58,177 ahh. 1243 00:57:58,208 --> 00:58:00,238 oh, yeah. 1244 00:58:00,277 --> 00:58:01,777 this is my helmet? 1245 00:58:01,812 --> 00:58:03,212 - that's your helmet. put it on, baby. 1246 00:58:03,247 --> 00:58:05,747 it matches the bike. you look so good. 1247 00:58:05,783 --> 00:58:08,223 thank you. 1248 00:58:09,754 --> 00:58:10,964 how'd you afford this? 1249 00:58:10,988 --> 00:58:13,588 - don't worry about it. it's a gift. 1250 00:58:13,624 --> 00:58:15,034 - is it from your college fund? 1251 00:58:15,059 --> 00:58:16,929 - i was born in a trailer park, 1252 00:58:16,961 --> 00:58:19,801 i was raised in a trailer park, 1253 00:58:19,830 --> 00:58:21,730 i'm assistant manager of the dollar king, 1254 00:58:21,766 --> 00:58:22,966 and my woman is cindy wegman. 1255 00:58:23,000 --> 00:58:24,270 - what? 1256 00:58:24,301 --> 00:58:25,871 - that's who i am, baby. 1257 00:58:25,903 --> 00:58:27,543 - as long as you're sure. 1258 00:58:27,572 --> 00:58:30,072 - well... you see, baby... 1259 00:58:30,107 --> 00:58:33,277 meeting you brought so much joy in my life and -- 1260 00:58:34,912 --> 00:58:36,612 and i don't want that joy to end, 1261 00:58:36,647 --> 00:58:38,547 so i was thinking, maybe you'd do me the honor of... 1262 00:58:47,357 --> 00:58:49,227 - whoo! 1263 00:58:56,867 --> 00:58:58,297 - you got to be kidding me. 1264 00:58:58,335 --> 00:59:00,065 - want to go for a ride? 1265 00:59:00,104 --> 00:59:03,614 - what? you ditch wayne for a rich guy or something? 1266 00:59:03,641 --> 00:59:05,811 - nope. wayne bought it for me. 1267 00:59:05,843 --> 00:59:07,813 - where did wayne get that kind of cash? 1268 00:59:07,845 --> 00:59:09,045 - working. 1269 00:59:09,079 --> 00:59:11,119 i know. go figure. 1270 00:59:11,148 --> 00:59:12,948 - huh. 1271 00:59:12,983 --> 00:59:14,993 scooch over. 1272 00:59:15,019 --> 00:59:16,789 i don't ride back door. 1273 00:59:16,821 --> 00:59:18,161 - compromise? 1274 00:59:18,188 --> 00:59:20,988 - come here. 1275 00:59:21,025 --> 00:59:22,655 ohh. 1276 00:59:36,206 --> 00:59:38,006 - when do we get our presents? 1277 00:59:38,042 --> 00:59:39,642 - your butt's your present. 1278 00:59:39,677 --> 00:59:41,207 - your mom's butt's your present. 1279 00:59:41,245 --> 00:59:43,675 - your mom's butt's both of our mom's butt, so shut up. 1280 00:59:43,714 --> 00:59:46,624 - guys, can we make this christmas not be about butts? 1281 00:59:46,651 --> 00:59:49,321 - well, my butt's out of here -- no presents, no brandie. 1282 00:59:49,353 --> 00:59:51,393 - hey! you sit your butt down! 1283 00:59:51,421 --> 00:59:53,191 down. 1284 00:59:53,223 --> 00:59:55,963 we're having christmas together if it kills us. 1285 00:59:55,993 --> 00:59:57,633 - when's mama coming home? 1286 00:59:57,662 --> 01:00:00,302 - it's christmas, buddy. she'll be here. 1287 01:00:00,330 --> 01:00:03,030 - yeah, bud. don't worry. 1288 01:00:08,138 --> 01:00:10,978 - i always wondered what it would be like 1289 01:00:11,008 --> 01:00:14,078 on a brand-new harley under a beautiful tree. 1290 01:00:18,015 --> 01:00:19,275 - no. keep it on. 1291 01:00:19,316 --> 01:00:21,846 - say we lose these for a couple hours, huh? 1292 01:00:24,388 --> 01:00:27,218 - oh, my god. 1293 01:00:27,257 --> 01:00:29,387 - what? 1294 01:00:31,128 --> 01:00:32,298 oh, my god. 1295 01:00:32,329 --> 01:00:34,359 get off. - what? 1296 01:00:34,398 --> 01:00:35,768 - randy, get off. - what?! 1297 01:00:35,800 --> 01:00:37,000 - just get off my bike. - no! 1298 01:00:37,034 --> 01:00:38,004 - get off my bike. - no. 1299 01:00:38,035 --> 01:00:39,335 - i got to marry wayne. 1300 01:00:39,369 --> 01:00:41,869 wayne should be here doing this with me! 1301 01:00:41,906 --> 01:00:43,336 whew. 1302 01:00:43,373 --> 01:00:44,883 oh. 1303 01:00:44,909 --> 01:00:46,079 randy, get off! 1304 01:00:47,812 --> 01:00:49,382 hey! well, what about what we had together? 1305 01:00:49,413 --> 01:00:51,923 randy, you were with pam at the christmas party. 1306 01:00:51,949 --> 01:00:53,119 come on. 1307 01:00:54,752 --> 01:00:56,822 - well, how the hell am i gonna get out of here?! 1308 01:00:56,854 --> 01:00:59,194 it's christmas! 1309 01:00:59,223 --> 01:01:01,333 god! 1310 01:01:03,861 --> 01:01:06,131 - you pissed away your college fund 1311 01:01:06,163 --> 01:01:08,103 on a harley for cindy wegman?! 1312 01:01:08,132 --> 01:01:11,972 bet you never rode neither one of them, you dummy. 1313 01:01:12,002 --> 01:01:13,942 now you can't even get back to work 1314 01:01:13,971 --> 01:01:15,441 'cause you're so sobbing so hard 1315 01:01:15,472 --> 01:01:17,312 about the fact that she took off! 1316 01:01:17,341 --> 01:01:21,111 - but i love her. 1317 01:01:22,780 --> 01:01:24,010 - you should be sobbing about the fact 1318 01:01:24,048 --> 01:01:25,818 that she took off with all your money. 1319 01:01:29,920 --> 01:01:32,790 - all right. get ahold of yourself! 1320 01:01:32,823 --> 01:01:34,833 it's christmas eve! 1321 01:01:34,859 --> 01:01:36,329 look. 1322 01:01:36,360 --> 01:01:38,830 you put in some long hours here, 1323 01:01:38,863 --> 01:01:40,733 and you do some overtime -- 1324 01:01:40,765 --> 01:01:42,765 heck, by the time you're 40... 1325 01:01:45,035 --> 01:01:46,935 - there you are! 1326 01:01:49,807 --> 01:01:51,337 of course i'll marry you. 1327 01:01:51,375 --> 01:01:53,375 why don't you just say so? 1328 01:01:53,410 --> 01:01:54,810 - really? - yeah. 1329 01:01:54,845 --> 01:01:56,045 what the heck else am i gonna do? 1330 01:01:56,080 --> 01:01:57,750 - do you love me? 1331 01:01:57,782 --> 01:02:00,022 - if wink wasn't here, i'd show you just how much. 1332 01:02:00,050 --> 01:02:01,490 - don't mind me. 1333 01:02:01,518 --> 01:02:03,388 - but since he is, 1334 01:02:03,420 --> 01:02:07,260 i'm just gonna take the minivan and i'm gonna get used to it. 1335 01:02:07,291 --> 01:02:09,491 i'll see you back at home, okay? 1336 01:02:09,526 --> 01:02:12,326 - wink, please don't make him work too late. 1337 01:02:12,362 --> 01:02:13,832 no, i won't. 1338 01:02:17,401 --> 01:02:18,901 - see? she does love me! 1339 01:02:18,936 --> 01:02:21,836 - get off! 1340 01:02:21,872 --> 01:02:23,412 for as bright as you are, 1341 01:02:23,440 --> 01:02:26,180 you are as dumb as a bag of hammers -- 1342 01:02:26,210 --> 01:02:28,110 dumb, dumb, dumb! 1343 01:02:31,949 --> 01:02:34,479 - oh. 1344 01:02:34,518 --> 01:02:36,518 dang it. 1345 01:02:36,553 --> 01:02:37,923 you looking for this? 1346 01:02:37,955 --> 01:02:42,155 oh, not now. really? 1347 01:02:42,192 --> 01:02:44,432 - where are you headed? 1348 01:02:44,461 --> 01:02:47,161 - to what i promised the last ghost i would do. 1349 01:02:47,197 --> 01:02:49,367 clean up your mama's shop? 1350 01:02:49,399 --> 01:02:51,339 no, you ain't. 1351 01:02:59,243 --> 01:03:01,213 - this ain't right. 1352 01:03:01,245 --> 01:03:03,205 this ain't the salon. 1353 01:03:03,247 --> 01:03:04,547 - this is like -- 1354 01:03:04,581 --> 01:03:06,821 - scrapbooking place. 1355 01:03:06,851 --> 01:03:08,291 - what the heck? 1356 01:03:08,318 --> 01:03:10,188 - it looks god-awful, don't it? 1357 01:03:16,360 --> 01:03:19,060 - hey, i know that laugh. 1358 01:03:19,096 --> 01:03:21,266 i know that laugh! 1359 01:03:21,298 --> 01:03:24,028 mama. 1360 01:03:26,003 --> 01:03:27,403 - you look terrible. 1361 01:03:27,437 --> 01:03:29,167 - well... 1362 01:03:29,206 --> 01:03:31,406 - what's up with the creepy black robe? 1363 01:03:31,441 --> 01:03:33,981 - robe's part of the tradition 1364 01:03:34,011 --> 01:03:37,151 for, uh, ghosts of christmas future. 1365 01:03:37,181 --> 01:03:40,121 anyway, after you married wayne, 1366 01:03:40,150 --> 01:03:43,320 you sold the place to bob and marge. 1367 01:03:43,353 --> 01:03:47,063 you never did get no job. 1368 01:03:48,525 --> 01:03:50,255 well, i actually think it looks kind of nice. 1369 01:03:50,294 --> 01:03:52,404 - oh, you like the way this looks? 1370 01:03:52,429 --> 01:03:54,099 it looks like a magazine or something. 1371 01:03:54,131 --> 01:03:55,331 it's got no soul. 1372 01:03:55,365 --> 01:03:57,565 i mean, honey, look what you let happen 1373 01:03:57,601 --> 01:04:00,171 to the salon that i built with my own hands. 1374 01:04:00,204 --> 01:04:02,874 - it's quaint! 1375 01:04:02,907 --> 01:04:04,307 - yeah. 1376 01:04:04,341 --> 01:04:07,081 then marge went even hog-wild 1377 01:04:07,111 --> 01:04:10,511 after she got it all in the divorce. 1378 01:04:10,547 --> 01:04:13,177 - wait -- bob and marge got a divorce? 1379 01:04:13,217 --> 01:04:14,647 - yeah. 1380 01:04:14,684 --> 01:04:18,024 see? i knew the future looked bright. 1381 01:04:18,055 --> 01:04:19,215 i knew it. 1382 01:04:19,256 --> 01:04:20,486 yeah. 1383 01:04:20,524 --> 01:04:22,294 they didn't get along so well 1384 01:04:22,326 --> 01:04:24,626 after, you know, the incident with... 1385 01:04:24,661 --> 01:04:26,431 little tim. 1386 01:04:26,463 --> 01:04:28,303 - what happened with tim? 1387 01:04:31,435 --> 01:04:33,635 - hey, hey! 1388 01:04:33,670 --> 01:04:35,210 what happened to tim? 1389 01:04:35,239 --> 01:04:36,939 - oh. oh. oh. 1390 01:04:36,974 --> 01:04:39,444 so suddenly you care about tim, huh? 1391 01:04:39,476 --> 01:04:42,006 - i've always cared about peepers! 1392 01:04:47,051 --> 01:04:48,351 - what happened to my harley? 1393 01:04:48,385 --> 01:04:49,915 - remember the phrase, 1394 01:04:49,954 --> 01:04:51,624 "i'd rather push a harley than ride a honda"? 1395 01:04:51,655 --> 01:04:53,155 - yeah. 1396 01:04:53,190 --> 01:04:55,090 - that's for people who could afford them. 1397 01:04:55,125 --> 01:04:56,685 you were too good to ride a honda, 1398 01:04:56,726 --> 01:04:58,156 but too lazy to work 1399 01:04:58,195 --> 01:05:00,055 to make the money to keep a harley. 1400 01:05:00,097 --> 01:05:01,467 now, come on. 1401 01:05:01,498 --> 01:05:03,528 this is hurting me just as much as it hurts you. 1402 01:05:05,002 --> 01:05:07,072 - makes me realize i was a bad mama. 1403 01:05:08,472 --> 01:05:10,242 you never did learn how to cook, 1404 01:05:10,274 --> 01:05:12,584 and wayne took to eating the pimento loaf 1405 01:05:12,609 --> 01:05:14,539 at the dollar king all day long. 1406 01:05:14,578 --> 01:05:16,348 - dang. 1407 01:05:16,380 --> 01:05:18,150 wayne! 1408 01:05:18,182 --> 01:05:21,022 wake up, you lard. it's time for work! 1409 01:05:21,051 --> 01:05:23,051 it's christmas. 1410 01:05:23,087 --> 01:05:26,087 - so? the dollar king ain't never closing! 1411 01:05:26,123 --> 01:05:28,193 - i quit. 1412 01:05:28,225 --> 01:05:29,455 - quit? really? 1413 01:05:29,493 --> 01:05:32,403 well, you know that wink's gonna die, 1414 01:05:32,429 --> 01:05:34,659 and you're gonna get promoted. 1415 01:05:36,333 --> 01:05:38,473 - i can't believe wink never promoted me. 1416 01:05:38,502 --> 01:05:39,742 he promised. 1417 01:05:39,769 --> 01:05:43,409 baby, he promised. 1418 01:05:43,440 --> 01:05:46,280 - what a loser! 1419 01:05:46,310 --> 01:05:48,250 you know, i thought, of all the losers 1420 01:05:48,278 --> 01:05:50,108 in all the different trailer parks, 1421 01:05:50,147 --> 01:05:51,717 that wayne was gonna be different. 1422 01:05:51,748 --> 01:05:53,248 - he would've been, too, 1423 01:05:53,283 --> 01:05:55,223 but behind every great man is a great woman. 1424 01:05:55,252 --> 01:05:57,092 - are you saying i ain't a great woman? 1425 01:05:57,121 --> 01:05:58,561 - you think it was better for him 1426 01:05:58,588 --> 01:06:00,558 to buy you a harley than to go to college? 1427 01:06:00,590 --> 01:06:02,260 - it was for me. - oh, look around. 1428 01:06:02,292 --> 01:06:03,592 you really think 1429 01:06:03,627 --> 01:06:06,197 that this was better for you in the long run? 1430 01:06:07,597 --> 01:06:10,667 - let me guess -- that's me in the box. 1431 01:06:10,700 --> 01:06:12,600 i ain't afraid of dying. 1432 01:06:12,636 --> 01:06:16,236 - look around. funeral parlor's pretty empty. 1433 01:06:16,273 --> 01:06:18,013 - so? 1434 01:06:18,042 --> 01:06:19,742 it's not like i'd be around to care. 1435 01:06:21,245 --> 01:06:23,545 though, actually, i did think wayne might be here. 1436 01:06:23,580 --> 01:06:25,450 he was pretty good about obligations. 1437 01:06:25,482 --> 01:06:27,482 - wayne died a year ago. 1438 01:06:27,517 --> 01:06:30,147 saw a commercial for i.t.t. technical college 1439 01:06:30,187 --> 01:06:32,787 and began crying so hard his throat done closed up 1440 01:06:32,822 --> 01:06:34,492 and couldn't get no more air. 1441 01:06:34,524 --> 01:06:37,234 strange occurrence. 1442 01:06:37,261 --> 01:06:39,101 suffocated to death. 1443 01:06:39,129 --> 01:06:41,069 - hmm. 1444 01:06:41,098 --> 01:06:42,798 see? look. somebody loves me. 1445 01:06:42,832 --> 01:06:45,102 here comes bob. 1446 01:06:45,135 --> 01:06:47,335 he's always good about obligations, too. 1447 01:06:47,371 --> 01:06:52,281 - i have laid awake many a night, thinking to myself, 1448 01:06:52,309 --> 01:06:56,049 "there ain't no one that can get through to this woman. 1449 01:06:56,080 --> 01:06:57,480 "and every day, 1450 01:06:57,514 --> 01:07:00,254 "with the train wreck of a life that you've led, 1451 01:07:00,284 --> 01:07:01,794 "somehow you'd get by... 1452 01:07:01,818 --> 01:07:06,118 without a care for anyo but yourself." 1453 01:07:09,693 --> 01:07:12,563 i never thought i'd say this, but... 1454 01:07:12,596 --> 01:07:15,166 i'm glad you're gone! 1455 01:07:15,199 --> 01:07:19,139 - all these years, he's been wishing for me to die? 1456 01:07:19,169 --> 01:07:21,609 - you ruined my life! 1457 01:07:21,638 --> 01:07:23,208 - oh, sir! 1458 01:07:23,240 --> 01:07:25,080 sir, i understand this is an emotional time, 1459 01:07:25,109 --> 01:07:26,479 but i can't let you hurt these flowers. 1460 01:07:26,510 --> 01:07:29,550 - i was just leaving. 1461 01:07:32,782 --> 01:07:34,622 - uncle bob. 1462 01:07:34,651 --> 01:07:36,851 - who's that? 1463 01:07:36,886 --> 01:07:38,586 - i'm glad you came. 1464 01:07:38,622 --> 01:07:42,262 - oh, that must be skoal. he always had a wild streak. 1465 01:07:42,292 --> 01:07:46,102 - what happened with tim, that was my fault and not hers. 1466 01:07:46,130 --> 01:07:47,560 - wait -- what? what happened with tim? 1467 01:07:47,597 --> 01:07:49,167 did -- did he come out or something? 1468 01:07:49,199 --> 01:07:50,369 - keep watching. 1469 01:07:50,400 --> 01:07:53,100 - no, champ, it was hers... 1470 01:07:53,137 --> 01:07:55,537 and mine, a little bit, for letting it happen, 1471 01:07:55,572 --> 01:07:57,612 but not -- not you. 1472 01:07:57,641 --> 01:08:00,211 you were a victim, son... 1473 01:08:00,244 --> 01:08:03,214 just like tim. 1474 01:08:03,247 --> 01:08:06,547 you know, harley, you were always special to me. 1475 01:08:06,583 --> 01:08:08,423 - harley? 1476 01:08:08,452 --> 01:08:11,262 - i love you, uncle bob. 1477 01:08:11,288 --> 01:08:14,418 i'm sorry again. 1478 01:08:31,908 --> 01:08:33,808 - this is a mistake. 1479 01:08:33,843 --> 01:08:36,153 he would make me throw back pennies from the wishing well. 1480 01:08:36,180 --> 01:08:38,520 he would -- he would never steal from anybody. 1481 01:08:38,548 --> 01:08:41,318 - the money was running out, the bills were piling up, 1482 01:08:41,351 --> 01:08:43,391 wayne's paycheck from the dollar king 1483 01:08:43,420 --> 01:08:46,160 just went into the negatives with all your spending, 1484 01:08:46,190 --> 01:08:48,190 and that damn harley kept breaking down 1485 01:08:48,225 --> 01:08:49,525 and needing to be fixed. 1486 01:08:49,559 --> 01:08:52,629 - but i wouldn't have asked him to fix it. 1487 01:08:52,662 --> 01:08:54,532 - you didn't need to ask. 1488 01:08:56,433 --> 01:08:58,273 and tim -- 1489 01:08:58,302 --> 01:09:00,842 - tim looked up to harley and couldn't say no. 1490 01:09:00,870 --> 01:09:02,540 - did he die in the robbery? 1491 01:09:02,572 --> 01:09:03,742 - no. the clerk did. 1492 01:09:03,773 --> 01:09:05,943 tim dropped the gun, and it went off. 1493 01:09:05,975 --> 01:09:07,505 - well, what happened? 1494 01:09:07,544 --> 01:09:10,184 - tim died the first night in the county jail. 1495 01:09:10,214 --> 01:09:11,684 they cooked his food in peanut oil. 1496 01:09:11,715 --> 01:09:13,175 - ohh. 1497 01:09:13,217 --> 01:09:14,577 well, hey. 1498 01:09:14,618 --> 01:09:16,248 aren't you gonna make a crack about that? 1499 01:09:16,286 --> 01:09:18,286 i mean, typical, right? he's such a little wussy. 1500 01:09:18,322 --> 01:09:20,592 he couldn't even make it through one night at the clink, 1501 01:09:20,624 --> 01:09:22,464 and it wasn't 'cause he was shanked, either. 1502 01:09:22,492 --> 01:09:23,892 it's 'cause of a peanut allergy. 1503 01:09:23,927 --> 01:09:25,527 i mean, what a lame-ass, right? 1504 01:09:25,562 --> 01:09:27,302 - it's not funny! 1505 01:09:27,331 --> 01:09:28,871 - rest in peace, mom. 1506 01:09:33,370 --> 01:09:36,540 harley? 1507 01:09:36,573 --> 01:09:38,283 harley! 1508 01:09:38,308 --> 01:09:41,848 you know your mama loves you, right? 1509 01:09:41,878 --> 01:09:43,378 harley! 1510 01:09:43,413 --> 01:09:45,353 harley. 1511 01:09:45,382 --> 01:09:47,352 you love your mama, right? 1512 01:09:47,384 --> 01:09:50,694 harley? harley, you love your mama, right? 1513 01:09:50,720 --> 01:09:52,390 harley! 1514 01:09:52,422 --> 01:09:54,362 harley, you love... 1515 01:09:54,391 --> 01:09:55,991 - mama. are you all right? 1516 01:09:56,025 --> 01:09:57,555 - am i a good mama? 1517 01:09:57,594 --> 01:09:59,264 - you know i love you. 1518 01:09:59,296 --> 01:10:01,226 - that's not what i asked you. 1519 01:10:01,265 --> 01:10:02,725 - well, you're my mama. 1520 01:10:02,766 --> 01:10:04,696 and that's all that matters. 1521 01:10:04,734 --> 01:10:07,274 - but you know i love you, right? 1522 01:10:07,304 --> 01:10:10,574 - i know that you've got your own way of showing it. 1523 01:10:16,613 --> 01:10:18,653 are you okay? 1524 01:10:19,916 --> 01:10:23,316 i got some things to figure out. 1525 01:10:25,489 --> 01:10:27,689 harley. 1526 01:10:27,724 --> 01:10:31,304 i love you very, very much, all right? 1527 01:10:31,328 --> 01:10:33,398 but i need you to go back to bed now. 1528 01:10:33,430 --> 01:10:38,940 - mama, if you need anything, i'm here. 1529 01:10:38,968 --> 01:10:43,408 and i will do anything for you, mama. 1530 01:10:43,440 --> 01:10:46,810 you know that. right? 1531 01:10:46,843 --> 01:10:50,753 - i do know that, and that's what worries me. 1532 01:10:50,780 --> 01:10:51,980 come here. 1533 01:10:55,952 --> 01:10:58,992 now you get on back to bed, 'cause tomorrow is christmas. 1534 01:10:59,022 --> 01:11:00,422 - but, mama. 1535 01:11:00,457 --> 01:11:02,687 - go on. do as you're told. 1536 01:11:02,726 --> 01:11:05,426 - good night. - good night. 1537 01:12:37,987 --> 01:12:39,887 - ho, ho, ho. 1538 01:12:39,923 --> 01:12:41,663 you've reached bob, marjorie, and tim. 1539 01:12:41,691 --> 01:12:42,991 we're at the outlet mall, 1540 01:12:43,026 --> 01:12:44,526 shopping for your christmas presents, 1541 01:12:44,561 --> 01:12:46,061 so we can't take your call right now, 1542 01:12:46,095 --> 01:12:47,755 but we sure do want to talk to you. 1543 01:12:47,797 --> 01:12:49,627 leave a message at the sound of the beep. 1544 01:12:50,934 --> 01:12:52,444 - hi, uncle bob. 1545 01:12:52,469 --> 01:12:56,039 um... i'm sorry that i called so late -- 1546 01:12:56,072 --> 01:12:59,612 or early -- but i'm worried about mom. 1547 01:12:59,643 --> 01:13:03,153 i think she's leaving us. 1548 01:13:03,179 --> 01:13:08,179 and i'm sorry if i woke you up. 1549 01:13:08,217 --> 01:13:10,687 and merry christmas. 1550 01:13:33,943 --> 01:13:35,113 - right on... 1551 01:13:36,613 --> 01:13:38,013 ...everything. 1552 01:13:42,586 --> 01:13:43,886 uh-huh. 1553 01:13:49,959 --> 01:13:52,059 make sure you're in focus. 1554 01:14:01,137 --> 01:14:03,107 well 1555 01:14:03,139 --> 01:14:05,509 finally come to your senses? 1556 01:14:05,542 --> 01:14:07,942 want to spend some quality time with the rattail? 1557 01:14:07,977 --> 01:14:09,677 - do you have a second to talk? 1558 01:14:09,713 --> 01:14:11,153 - yeah. 1559 01:14:11,180 --> 01:14:12,720 it's gonna have to be on the road, though. 1560 01:14:12,749 --> 01:14:14,949 i'm leaving for yuma tonight. 1561 01:14:14,984 --> 01:14:16,754 - oh. well, it's christmas. 1562 01:14:16,786 --> 01:14:18,756 - yeah, well, i got a match tonight... 1563 01:14:18,788 --> 01:14:21,118 "x-man for xmas." 1564 01:14:21,157 --> 01:14:23,557 hey, you know what? you should come. 1565 01:14:23,593 --> 01:14:25,193 - hmm. 1566 01:14:25,228 --> 01:14:26,828 well, that's kind of what i wanted to talk to you about. 1567 01:14:26,863 --> 01:14:29,933 - really? 1568 01:14:42,011 --> 01:14:43,981 - is it christmas yet? 1569 01:14:44,013 --> 01:14:47,783 - yeah, skoal. it's christmas. 1570 01:14:47,817 --> 01:14:49,687 - where's mama? 1571 01:14:49,719 --> 01:14:51,659 - i don't know. 1572 01:14:56,893 --> 01:14:58,063 hello, mama? 1573 01:14:58,094 --> 01:14:59,634 - no. hey, buddy. 1574 01:14:59,663 --> 01:15:01,163 it's your uncle bob. is your mama there? 1575 01:15:01,197 --> 01:15:02,867 - no. 1576 01:15:02,899 --> 01:15:05,569 - okay, i got this crazy note from her. 1577 01:15:05,602 --> 01:15:08,272 - we got one, too. but we haven't opened it yet. 1578 01:15:08,304 --> 01:15:10,214 - hold on a second, buddy. i got another call. 1579 01:15:11,641 --> 01:15:12,911 - bob, tim is gone! 1580 01:15:12,942 --> 01:15:14,742 - marge, just calm down. 1581 01:15:14,778 --> 01:15:16,948 - he's gone, and i have a note here from your crazy sister. 1582 01:15:16,980 --> 01:15:18,150 i think she took him. 1583 01:15:18,181 --> 01:15:19,281 - hold on, honey. 1584 01:15:19,315 --> 01:15:20,815 - what? "hold on"? 1585 01:15:20,850 --> 01:15:22,120 did you not hear what i said? 1586 01:15:22,151 --> 01:15:24,591 bob? 1587 01:15:24,621 --> 01:15:25,961 - uncle bob? - hey, buddy. 1588 01:15:25,989 --> 01:15:28,019 look, your aunt marge got a note, too. 1589 01:15:28,057 --> 01:15:29,657 i'm gonna come over there, 1590 01:15:29,693 --> 01:15:31,803 and i'm gonna pick you up, so get ready. 1591 01:15:31,828 --> 01:15:33,198 - okay. 1592 01:15:33,229 --> 01:15:34,799 - okay, i'll see you in a second, bud. 1593 01:15:34,831 --> 01:15:36,001 - okay. bye-bye. 1594 01:15:36,032 --> 01:15:38,772 bob. bob. 1595 01:15:38,802 --> 01:15:40,572 do you hear me, bob? 1596 01:15:40,604 --> 01:15:43,344 oh, what i am gonna do that white-trash sister of yours! 1597 01:15:43,372 --> 01:15:46,282 - honey, calm down. everything's gonna be just fine. 1598 01:15:46,309 --> 01:15:47,709 i will meet you there. 1599 01:15:49,078 --> 01:15:50,908 - bob. 1600 01:15:50,947 --> 01:15:53,047 bob? 1601 01:15:53,082 --> 01:15:55,182 bob? 1602 01:16:10,399 --> 01:16:12,299 - have you seen tim? 1603 01:16:12,335 --> 01:16:14,665 - no. why? 1604 01:16:14,704 --> 01:16:16,344 - he isn't here? 1605 01:16:16,372 --> 01:16:18,372 - i don't know. i just got here. 1606 01:16:18,407 --> 01:16:20,337 - why don't you ever know anything? 1607 01:16:20,376 --> 01:16:21,806 - i... i know she's -- 1608 01:16:21,845 --> 01:16:22,875 - he might not even -- 1609 01:16:22,912 --> 01:16:24,952 - hey. you're all here! 1610 01:16:24,981 --> 01:16:26,181 come on. come on in. 1611 01:16:31,721 --> 01:16:33,861 - honey. 1612 01:16:33,890 --> 01:16:35,660 oh, honey, what happened to your hair? 1613 01:16:35,692 --> 01:16:36,862 and where are your glasses? 1614 01:16:36,893 --> 01:16:38,663 - look at me, mom. i'm cool! 1615 01:16:38,695 --> 01:16:40,255 - i don't understand why she -- 1616 01:16:40,296 --> 01:16:41,966 - can you calm down, you beast, okay? 1617 01:16:41,998 --> 01:16:44,068 his haircut ain't gonna cost you nothing. 1618 01:16:44,100 --> 01:16:46,370 it's a freebie, and i can't believe i'm even saying that. 1619 01:16:46,402 --> 01:16:47,972 all right. hop down. 1620 01:16:48,004 --> 01:16:49,414 aah! 1621 01:16:49,438 --> 01:16:52,078 - i think you might still need these, though. 1622 01:16:52,108 --> 01:16:53,808 come here. - this is lovely. 1623 01:16:53,843 --> 01:16:55,813 yeah, he's got it. 1624 01:16:55,845 --> 01:16:59,075 - so you just remember that cool comes from the inside, okay? 1625 01:16:59,115 --> 01:17:01,275 mwah! hee-haw! 1626 01:17:01,317 --> 01:17:02,917 - how did you pull this off? 1627 01:17:02,952 --> 01:17:04,352 - let's just say that... 1628 01:17:04,387 --> 01:17:05,987 mama made me do it. 1629 01:17:06,022 --> 01:17:08,062 - mama, can we open our presents now? 1630 01:17:08,091 --> 01:17:09,791 - of course you can, baby. 1631 01:17:09,826 --> 01:17:12,226 harley, make sure you get all the right ones, okay? 1632 01:17:12,261 --> 01:17:13,861 - we get our own presents this year? 1633 01:17:13,897 --> 01:17:15,397 - yep. 1634 01:17:15,431 --> 01:17:18,901 and i didn't even use the claw machine. 1635 01:17:18,935 --> 01:17:20,065 - what about me? 1636 01:17:20,103 --> 01:17:22,813 - of course you. honey, come here. 1637 01:17:22,839 --> 01:17:24,809 come here. 1638 01:17:24,841 --> 01:17:26,411 but you know your daddy is away in yuma. 1639 01:17:26,442 --> 01:17:28,782 he had a match. but i told him i'd take 1640 01:17:28,812 --> 01:17:31,182 real good care of you. 1641 01:17:31,214 --> 01:17:33,924 - here, brandie. 1642 01:17:42,425 --> 01:17:46,825 - so, you need to start dressing a little more respectable. 1643 01:17:46,863 --> 01:17:49,003 - this is really great what you did. 1644 01:17:49,032 --> 01:17:51,132 we are gonna be so happy together! 1645 01:17:51,167 --> 01:17:55,397 - um, can i give this to you outside? 1646 01:17:57,173 --> 01:17:59,343 awesome. bye, baby. come on. 1647 01:17:59,375 --> 01:18:01,275 - come here, champ. let me look at you. 1648 01:18:01,310 --> 01:18:03,180 - look at me, dad. - look at that! 1649 01:18:03,212 --> 01:18:06,222 she made you stronger, too, huh? 1650 01:18:13,823 --> 01:18:16,493 here. open it. 1651 01:18:19,028 --> 01:18:23,028 - your hammered gold record? 1652 01:18:23,066 --> 01:18:25,936 - well, i figured it would take care of your account 1653 01:18:25,969 --> 01:18:27,499 over there at the dollar king, 1654 01:18:27,536 --> 01:18:29,836 'cause i know all that wasn't cheap. 1655 01:18:29,873 --> 01:18:31,843 - wow. 1656 01:18:34,944 --> 01:18:36,754 the harley? 1657 01:18:36,780 --> 01:18:40,280 and the ring, too? 1658 01:18:40,316 --> 01:18:42,286 does this mean "no"? 1659 01:18:42,318 --> 01:18:44,148 'cause i love you. 1660 01:18:44,187 --> 01:18:45,917 - oh, wayne, you only love me 1661 01:18:45,955 --> 01:18:48,055 because we live in this crap town. 1662 01:18:48,091 --> 01:18:50,431 but when you get to where you're going, 1663 01:18:50,459 --> 01:18:53,859 you're gonna find somebody that you deserve to be with. 1664 01:18:53,897 --> 01:18:56,227 you don't deserve to be in a trailer park. 1665 01:18:56,265 --> 01:18:58,765 you're gonna do big things in this life -- 1666 01:18:58,802 --> 01:19:01,002 important things. 1667 01:19:01,037 --> 01:19:02,267 - you really think so? 1668 01:19:02,305 --> 01:19:04,365 - i know so. 1669 01:19:04,407 --> 01:19:06,407 okay, so i have one more gift for you, 1670 01:19:06,442 --> 01:19:08,012 but you have to turn around. 1671 01:19:12,415 --> 01:19:13,975 - hey! 1672 01:19:14,017 --> 01:19:17,917 - well, now you're all ready for college! 1673 01:19:17,954 --> 01:19:21,324 come here, wayne. merry christmas. 1674 01:19:23,059 --> 01:19:25,389 - oh. excuse me. excuse me, miss? 1675 01:19:25,428 --> 01:19:28,258 yeah. i-is the salon open? 1676 01:19:28,297 --> 01:19:30,267 - c-c-can you see that we're in the middle of something? 1677 01:19:30,299 --> 01:19:32,269 - cind, you might want to... 1678 01:19:32,301 --> 01:19:34,141 ma'am, i apologize for her. 1679 01:19:34,170 --> 01:19:37,370 she can be a tad on the abrasive side sometimes. 1680 01:19:37,406 --> 01:19:40,006 but her heart's in the right place. 1681 01:19:40,043 --> 01:19:42,883 - look at you using all these big college words already. 1682 01:19:42,912 --> 01:19:44,482 - i'm sorry. i didn't mean to intrude. 1683 01:19:44,513 --> 01:19:46,483 i just wanted to know if the salon was open, 1684 01:19:46,515 --> 01:19:48,575 'cause i wanted, you know, a redo or a rebirth. 1685 01:19:48,617 --> 01:19:50,347 - you know, i've heard all the stor-- 1686 01:19:50,386 --> 01:19:51,546 - hey, listen, i really don't need 1687 01:19:51,587 --> 01:19:53,317 to hear your life story, okay? 1688 01:19:53,356 --> 01:19:54,856 can you come back in an hour, and i'll fix that mess? 1689 01:19:54,891 --> 01:19:57,161 - okay. an hour. 1690 01:19:57,193 --> 01:19:58,363 cindy. 1691 01:19:58,394 --> 01:20:00,134 - what? 1692 01:20:00,163 --> 01:20:02,073 - you should be nice. 1693 01:20:04,133 --> 01:20:07,373 merry christmas. 1694 01:20:19,582 --> 01:20:22,022 wayne. 1695 01:20:22,051 --> 01:20:24,391 you take care. 1696 01:20:36,432 --> 01:20:38,902 - see, you could wear that to the sizzler or the prom. 1697 01:20:38,935 --> 01:20:40,235 that is gorgeous. 1698 01:20:40,269 --> 01:20:41,599 - it's growing on me. 1699 01:20:41,637 --> 01:20:44,407 okay. 1700 01:20:44,440 --> 01:20:47,510 - i wanted to thank you for what you did for tim. 1701 01:20:47,543 --> 01:20:49,183 it pains to say this, 1702 01:20:49,212 --> 01:20:52,022 but i've never seen him look happier. 1703 01:20:52,048 --> 01:20:53,618 - so is this some sort of an apology? 1704 01:20:57,020 --> 01:20:58,890 - well, look, i'm sorry, too. 1705 01:20:58,922 --> 01:21:00,362 so... 1706 01:21:00,389 --> 01:21:03,029 - uh, uh. baby steps. 1707 01:21:03,059 --> 01:21:06,399 i agree. 1708 01:21:12,035 --> 01:21:14,395 - is everything okay, ladies? 1709 01:21:14,437 --> 01:21:16,167 - yes. 1710 01:21:16,205 --> 01:21:19,275 - ah! i knew it! 1711 01:21:21,244 --> 01:21:23,914 - so, bob, i was thinking about a christmas gift for you. 1712 01:21:23,947 --> 01:21:26,517 - oh, no. this is all the gift i need. 1713 01:21:26,549 --> 01:21:29,119 - since mama handed me this store, 1714 01:21:29,152 --> 01:21:32,962 and she's your mama, too, why don't we become partners? 1715 01:21:32,989 --> 01:21:34,459 - oh. 1716 01:21:34,490 --> 01:21:36,560 i-i don't think that would be such a good idea. 1717 01:21:36,592 --> 01:21:39,362 - um... you know, it might not be a bad idea. 1718 01:21:39,395 --> 01:21:42,125 look, there is -- there's a line outside the door. 1719 01:21:42,165 --> 01:21:46,995 - but we can talk about that, but not today. 1720 01:21:47,036 --> 01:21:50,036 today is christmas. 1721 01:21:50,073 --> 01:21:52,243 - well, merry christmas, you two. 1722 01:21:52,275 --> 01:21:53,935 - merry christmas. 1723 01:21:53,977 --> 01:21:55,607 - and merry christmas, kids! 1724 01:21:59,048 --> 01:22:01,418 now, you guys... 1725 01:22:01,450 --> 01:22:03,720 i know i don't say this enough, 1726 01:22:03,752 --> 01:22:08,092 but i love you more than anything in this entire world. 1727 01:22:08,124 --> 01:22:09,564 and that's why i named you 1728 01:22:09,592 --> 01:22:13,062 after some of my favorite things -- cheez doodles. 1729 01:22:14,730 --> 01:22:17,130 skoal. 1730 01:22:17,166 --> 01:22:18,366 brandie. 1731 01:22:18,401 --> 01:22:19,641 - but you didn't name me. 1732 01:22:19,668 --> 01:22:21,638 - i know, but i still like brandie. 1733 01:22:21,670 --> 01:22:24,540 and i love you like you're one of my own. 1734 01:22:24,573 --> 01:22:28,683 'cause family is very important, okay? 1735 01:22:28,711 --> 01:22:31,181 family is all we really got. 1736 01:22:31,214 --> 01:22:33,984 and, harley, my angel. 1737 01:22:34,017 --> 01:22:38,017 you know i've always loved you the most. 1738 01:22:38,054 --> 01:22:40,624 i'm just kidding. i love all you guys. 1739 01:22:40,656 --> 01:22:42,056 but i love you. 1740 01:22:44,260 --> 01:22:46,660 and this is for you. 1741 01:22:46,695 --> 01:22:48,095 - thank you, mama. 1742 01:22:48,131 --> 01:22:49,331 - you're welcome. 1743 01:22:49,365 --> 01:22:52,235 - * noel, noel 1744 01:22:52,268 --> 01:22:54,638 - it's just a little something. 1745 01:22:54,670 --> 01:22:56,440 - i love it, mama. 1746 01:22:56,472 --> 01:22:59,142 - oh, don't go bs'ing me, boy. 1747 01:22:59,175 --> 01:23:03,305 it's, uh -- it's supposed to be like when you -- 1748 01:23:03,346 --> 01:23:05,176 when you don't have something, 1749 01:23:05,214 --> 01:23:07,324 but it's like -- it's like it means something, 1750 01:23:07,350 --> 01:23:08,720 but it's... 1751 01:23:08,751 --> 01:23:10,151 help me. you know what i'm saying? 1752 01:23:10,186 --> 01:23:12,316 - a symbol? - yes! a symbol! 1753 01:23:12,355 --> 01:23:14,315 dang! wayne must have been teaching you 1754 01:23:14,357 --> 01:23:15,657 while i was out doing... 1755 01:23:15,691 --> 01:23:17,391 doing my thing. 1756 01:23:17,426 --> 01:23:21,556 so, that is supposed to remind you 1757 01:23:21,597 --> 01:23:23,427 of where you've come from, 1758 01:23:23,466 --> 01:23:26,196 but not where you're going, okay? 1759 01:23:26,235 --> 01:23:29,665 and that's probably me in there with my feet up on the recliner 1760 01:23:29,705 --> 01:23:32,705 after a hard day at girl curl -- just lazy. 1761 01:23:34,143 --> 01:23:35,343 make it snow! 1762 01:23:38,647 --> 01:23:40,277 all right. 1763 01:23:40,316 --> 01:23:43,546 - this is one badass christmas! 1764 01:23:43,586 --> 01:23:45,786 - tim, watch your language! 1765 01:23:45,821 --> 01:23:47,591 - * we wish you a merry christmas * 1766 01:23:47,623 --> 01:23:50,093 * we wish you a merry christmas * 1767 01:23:50,126 --> 01:23:52,296 * we wish you a merry christmas * 1768 01:23:52,328 --> 01:23:54,398 * and a happy new year 1769 01:23:54,430 --> 01:23:57,370 * good tidings to you 1770 01:23:57,400 --> 01:23:58,570 - mega hug. 1771 01:23:58,601 --> 01:24:00,101 - * to you and your kin 1772 01:24:00,136 --> 01:24:02,106 * good tidings for christmas 1773 01:24:02,138 --> 01:24:04,608 * and a happy new year 1774 01:24:04,640 --> 01:24:08,410 - well... i think that pretty well. 1775 01:24:08,444 --> 01:24:10,454 - she's a changed person! 1776 01:24:10,479 --> 01:24:12,419 - aw, she'll blow it. 1777 01:24:12,448 --> 01:24:15,278 but today she's having a good one. 1778 01:24:17,153 --> 01:24:19,393 - * we won't go until we get some * 1779 01:24:19,422 --> 01:24:21,262 - only one for you. 1780 01:24:21,290 --> 01:24:24,090 okay. 1781 01:24:24,127 --> 01:24:25,257 - ahh! 1782 01:24:25,294 --> 01:24:26,864 - hey. 1783 01:24:26,895 --> 01:24:28,725 - merry christmas. 1784 01:24:28,764 --> 01:24:30,274 cheers. 1785 01:24:30,299 --> 01:24:31,469 - salud. 1786 01:24:31,500 --> 01:24:33,270 - merry christmas. 1787 01:24:36,372 --> 01:24:38,112 - i love christmas. 1788 01:24:38,141 --> 01:24:39,711 - i love this. 1789 01:24:42,211 --> 01:24:45,251 - * we wish you a merry christmas * 1790 01:24:45,281 --> 01:24:47,551 * we wish you a merry christmas * 1791 01:24:47,583 --> 01:24:49,723 * we wish you a merry christmas * 1792 01:24:49,752 --> 01:24:52,462 * and a happy new year 1793 01:24:52,488 --> 01:24:54,588 * we wish you a merry christmas * 1794 01:24:54,623 --> 01:24:57,193 * we wish you a merry christmas * 1795 01:24:57,226 --> 01:24:59,396 * we wish you a merry christmas * 1796 01:24:59,428 --> 01:25:01,858 * and a happy new year 1797 01:25:01,897 --> 01:25:04,467 * we wish you a merry christmas * 1798 01:25:04,500 --> 01:25:13,540 * and a happy new ye-e-ear 1799 01:25:13,576 --> 01:25:17,106 * yeah! hey, hey! 1800 01:25:24,787 --> 01:25:27,487 - jingle bells! jingle bells! 1801 01:25:27,523 --> 01:25:29,163 jingle all the way! 1802 01:25:29,192 --> 01:25:32,602 oh, what fun it is to ride 1803 01:25:32,628 --> 01:25:36,328 on a one-horse open sleigh! 1804 01:25:36,365 --> 01:25:37,525 yeah! 1805 01:25:37,566 --> 01:25:38,896 yeah! 1806 01:25:38,934 --> 01:25:41,804 yeah! can i hear a "jingle bells"?! 1807 01:25:41,837 --> 01:25:45,267 - * dashing through the snow, in a one-horse open sleigh * 1808 01:25:45,308 --> 01:25:48,608 - * o'er the fields we go, laughing all the way * 1809 01:25:51,414 --> 01:25:54,184 - * jingle bells, jingle bells 1810 01:25:56,452 --> 01:25:59,962 - * oh, what fun it is to ride in a one-horse open sleigh * 1811 01:25:59,988 --> 01:26:01,818 - hey! 1812 01:26:01,857 --> 01:26:05,657 - * jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way * 1813 01:26:05,694 --> 01:26:08,834 * oh, what fun it is to ride... * 1814 01:26:08,864 --> 01:26:11,434 - * jingle all the way 1815 01:26:11,467 --> 01:26:13,837 - * oh, what fun it is to ride 1816 01:26:13,869 --> 01:26:17,509 * in a one-horse open sleigh 1817 01:26:17,540 --> 01:26:19,280 - * jingle bells, jingle bells 1818 01:26:19,308 --> 01:26:21,438 * jingle all the way 1819 01:26:21,477 --> 01:26:24,377 * what's the part where robin and batman say something? * 1820 01:26:24,413 --> 01:26:26,923 - * batman smells, robin laid an egg * 1821 01:26:26,949 --> 01:26:28,779 - * oh, what fun it is to ride in a one-horse open sleigh * 1822 01:26:28,817 --> 01:26:30,587 hey! 1823 01:26:30,619 --> 01:26:35,619 - * oh, what fun it is to ride in a one-horse... * 1824 01:26:37,826 --> 01:26:44,526 - * oh, what fun it is to ride in a one-horse open sleigh * 1825 01:26:44,567 --> 01:26:46,397 - * sleigh! 1826 01:26:46,435 --> 01:26:51,235 * yeah-hey-hey, yeah-hey 127763