All language subtitles for After.All.These.Years.2013.1080p.WEBRip.x264-RARBG

Okay, so, I'll call you,

and maybe Michael can barbecue,
that sound good?

I am so starving.
I haven't eaten all day.

Why don't you
just relax?

Look how perfectly
it turned out.

Besides, since
when do you eat?

When you bring me food?

Okay! Enough.

Audrey!

Congratulations!

Christine! We're so glad
that you could come.

Now, the guy over there,
in the blue--

don't make it
obvious!

- Single?
- No, no, no.

Very, very married.

Why are
all the good ones taken?

May I borrow my wife
for a little dance perhaps?

You don't have to
dance with me.

Yes, I love to
dance with you.

-Hey!
-Did you eat anything?

How many drinks
have you had?

Just the one.
And a half.

Excuse me.

Mrs. D, this food
is really amazing!

I would only
do it for your parents.

Phyllis!
What are these?

Polenta cake with
heirloom tomato relish.

I love that you can just
eat them with your fingers.

Say, would you mind
giving Anita the recipe?

For what?
To look at?

We just wanted to
thank you all for coming,

and especially
Phyllis and Carter dietrichson

for being such good friends

and for throwing us
this beautiful party!

We're just--

we feel very, very blessed
to be here with our son,

and our family and our friends,

and after 30 years,

Michael and I
are especially lucky

to still have each other.

Thank you,
thank you, thank you.

Thank you, thank you.

I know most
of you know

that I'm not too good
with speeches,

but, Audrey, I wanted
to get you something

that would tell you
how much you mean to me,

and here it is.

Michael!

I can't believe...
What did you do?

Honey...

Thank you!

Looks like
it was made for this room.

Michael,
you know me so well.

You know, I have a feeling

that we're going to have friends
parading through our bedroom

for the rest of our marriage,

just to look at it.

Sweetie!
You old softie. What?

Hey, do you know
how few husbands

would allow themselves
to feel so openly?

Why don't you just
let it out?

Come on.

I'm in love with Christine.

You're in love with Christine?

Christine vole
from your office?

You can't imagine
how terrible I feel.

I've been hanging onto this
for six months.

No, no, no, no!
This is all in your head!

It's a fantasy!

No, she loves me, too.

She was just at our party!

She was toasting our happiness.

I'm-- I'm gonna throw up.

Well, how do you
think I feel?

I mean, I feel so...
I feel so dirty.

It-- no!

Don't look at me like that!
It's nobody's fault!

Yes, it is somebody's fault.

It is your fault,
and Christine's.

These things happen!

Okay, okay. All right.
Wait, wait, Michael.

I get it, I get it.

Maybe it's been
too easy,

too comfortable with me.

And lots of men
go through this,

but I promise you,
you will get over her.

Get over her?
I want to marry her!

What?

That summer, I went through

all the dumped wife
stages of grief.

Denial...

Have you changed
the locks and security codes?

I'm telling you, Anita,

Michael's gonna
come to his senses

and come home.

You would actually
take him back?

Well, that's not really
even a question,

because he is coming back.

You know, we have a history.

He is not worth what
he's putting you through!

Yes, he is.

-You are too good for him.
-No, I'm not!

Anger...

You know
what really gets me?

The man who knew me
most intimately

basically said,
"no, thank you.

I don't think
I want her anymore!"

And yet,
you'd still take him back?

Only if he were cut up
into bits and pieces.

Bargaining...

Maybe if
I got my eyes done,

or maybe
a partial...

Despair...

And finally, acceptance--

how much
for the golf clubs?

75 cents a club.

Need a pair of shoes?
Look at these.

Brand-new.

$150 in the store,
but for you, five bucks.

How are you going to
explain this to Michael

when he comes home?

He is not coming
home, Phyllis.

As hard as it is
to imagine my life

without him,

once the divorce
is final,

he's going to
marry Christine,

and I need to move on.

My son was grown
and on his own.

I no longer had anyone
to come home to,

and the only man who had been
in
my bedroom for months

was Peter Thomas...

The host of forensic files.

I couldn't sleep

because I didn't want to
take any more pills,

and all I had
to look forward to

was deciding
what my next snack would be.

Was I in the mood
for grilled cheese,

frozen quesadillas,
egg rolls--

My god. My god!

Michael? Michael!

Okay, this isn't funny.

Police emergency.

Yeah. I-i--
I need to report a murder.

Hello? Hello, ma'am?
Are you there?

I might have
done something wrong.

I might have interfered
with the crime scene.

See, I wasn't sure

if my husband was dead,

so I tried to
pull the knife out of his chest.

I'm really sorry,
detective...

-Mulligan.
-Mulligan.

Clearly, you can understand
that I wasn't thinking.

I understand,
Mrs. Brandon.

Now, listen. Um...

You think you're up to
answering a few questions?

Mrs. Brandon?

Yes. Time is a factor,

and I know the first 72 hours
are crucial.

What was
your husband's occupation?

He was the president

of Brandon associates.

It's a research company
in the city.

Would you mind if
I just take a sedative?

Or four?

Just a few more
questions first.

Like, you see,

what I don't understand is,

if your husband moved out
several months ago,

why did he, all of a sudden,
drop by uninvited

in the middle of the night?

I don't know.

And I just-- I just
can't believe this.

Is it possible,
just possible,

that you mistook
your husband

for a burglar
and just...

What? And that I stabbed him
in self-defense? No!

No.

But...

Perhaps someone was
out to get him.

Right.

And they followed him
all the way from the city,

our here
to shore haven,

because they knew

they could kill him
at your house?

All right, I know that
that sounds crazy,

but it's possible.

Did your husband
have any enemies?

No. Well, I don't know.

I don't know
if he's an "enemy,"

but his ex-partner, Artie green,
certainly had motive.

When Michael squeezed him
out of the company,

Artie hacked into
the computer files

and wiped out
an entire program library,

and it cost them a fortune.

Mr. Brandon
call the police?

Yeah. Yeah, ended up
fining Artie $600,000,

which, you know,
could be a motive.

So where's
Mr. Green now?

He lives in the city.
And look at this.

Well--

Michael left his shoes
by the door.

And this is
important because?

In the 30 years
I was married to this man,

he never once
took off his shoes,

no matter how many
times I asked him to.

All right,
just for argument's sake,

assuming
you're telling the truth,

maybe-- maybe your husband
took off his shoes

because he didn't
want you to hear.

This is a significant change
in his normal behavior pattern.

Now, I think that
you should look into this.

Mrs. Brandon.

Mrs. Brandon! Please.

- Mrs. Brandon.
- Make sure you check--

to see that there are more than
one set of tire tracks.

Well, if there are,

they could have easily
been made earlier,

a couple of days ago.

There was an episode
of dateline

a few weeks ago--

-yes, yes, I see.
-...Where the husband--

please, just
let us do our jobs.

Of course, I know.
You're the experts.

I was only trying to...

Trying to help.

I'm standing
outside the residence...

Mrs. Brandon, wait!
I'm not done!

Look, I need to call my son

and tell him that
his father was murdered

before he hears about it
on Twitter.

...How long
this person has been dead

and how that person died.

Detectives
are now on the scene...

- Hey, you've reached Alex.
- You know what to do.

Hi, honey, it's me.

Listen, can you call me
as soon as you get this?

It's really important. Okay?
Love you.

So, your husband
left you

for Christine vole
back in April?

Yes.

When was
the last time

you saw or spoke
to your husband?

Two or three
days ago.

We met at
the lawyers' office

to settle everything.

Right. And Ms. Vole says
you had a heated argument,

that your husband intended
to disinherit your son, Alex.

I think,
under the circumstances,

it was quite
a civil conversation.

You turned
Alex against Christine!

He didn't need any help
from me!

You know what?

He is not getting
dime one from me!

And what did you ever
do that was worth

what this shyster's
asking for?

Do you have, like, a year
for me to list everything?

Yeah! Here we go!

I helped you
start your business--

Christine said you were
gonna say something like that.

And you know what else she said?

"I now take credit cards
as well as cash?"

You're old!

I'll kill you!

So, what you're trying to say,
Mrs. Brandon,

is that now that
your husband is dead,

you inherit
his entire estate

and can provide
for your son?

Yes.

So?

Money and revenge,
classic motives.

I didn't do it!

But maybe it was,
a burglar?

Maybe someone
saw Michael drive up.

He had $600 in his wallet,

and his watch
was still on his wrist.

So it was someone who knew him.

I'm thinking
that might be true.

I didn't do it.

-Audrey!
-Audrey?

Would you believe
the police tried to

keep us from coming in?

If you don't mind,

I need to go
and talk to my friends?

No, but stay close to home.

I still have
a few questions to ask.

Wouldn't want you

skipping town,
now, would we?

-We might have a few--
-have a heart!

Yeah, I know what
Michael turned into,

but for the longest time,
he really was super.

Yeah.

Yeah, no, he was also
the jerk that left you.

What was
he doing here, anyway?

What? You didn't
invite him?

No! No, I'm telling you,
I have no idea why he came,

and I'm sure
the police don't believe me.

Well, we know
you're innocent,

but I'm gonna find you
a good lawyer.

First, I'm going
to make you

some lemon verbena tea.

Yeah, they're really
going to let her

into the crime scene

so she can brew
a cup of herbal tea.

You know, Anita,

I thought
Michael leaving me

was the worst thing
that could ever happen.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

It would seem
you're in a tight spot.

I've taken the Liberty

of talking to my contacts
in the d.A.'S office.

You'll be
relieved to know

they won't arrest you
until after the funeral.

Arrest me?

No, no, no, no.

The evidence
is all circumstantial.

I mean, yeah, he was stabbed
in my kitchen with my knife--

Mrs. Brandon.

There isn't a shred of evidence

there was anyone in your house
that night

other than
you and your husband.

So you think I'm guilty?

Doesn't matter what I think.

It's what the government thinks
that counts.

No, I was set up!

I-I can not tell you how many
episodes of snapped I've seen

where the wife
was in the exact same--

Mrs. Brandon,
this is not an episode

of some preposterous TV show.

Even if we hired
Sherlock Holmes,

how could you pay for it?

They're going to
freeze your accounts.

Well, then what am I
supposed to do, Mr. Keyes?

Please, try and stay calm,
Mrs. Brandon.

There'll be plenty of time
for hysteria later.

Now, assuming that you can't
find another suspect

the police will find
more compelling,

I'd advise you to plead guilty,

for reduced charges.

And that's my best option?

To plead guilty
and go to prison?

One of the downsides
to murder, yes.

I need you to
find me another lawyer,

who doesn't automatically
assume that I'm guilty.

I will make some calls,
I promise.

Carter, any ideas?

What did
the police ask you?

If we'd seen or heard anything
the night of the murder.

Of course, we said we hadn't.

Carter, what time
did you get home that night?

About 11:00.

And were you here at the house
all night, Phyllis?

No, I was
at the garden club.

I got home about 10:00, 10:30.

Yeah, and did you go
right to bed?

You know me, I suddenly
felt like baking brioche.

Did you notice
any cars near the house?

Any activity at all?

I was driving home
with my friend, Mandy.

We were too busy talking.

I wish I'd been
more alert.

Don't you, Carter?

No!

I refuse to tolerate
this sick farce another minute!

Don't you say
another word!

I don't care that she's
your best friend, Phyllis!

Mike was my best friend,
and you killed him!

What are you
talking about?

You cannot honestly believe
that I killed him!

Get out of my house!

Don't you ever come near us
or call us again!

Carter, we can't
allow them

to put her in handcuffs
and take her way.

Allow them?
We should applaud them.

I had no choice.

I was desperate.

I had to throw myself
on my enemy's mercy.

Hi. I'm here to see
Christine vole.

Coming!

Carol, thank god.

Audrey! What are you--
Audrey! Audrey--

stop it! Stop it!
Stop it!

Get out!

Christine, I think

you know me
well enough to know

that I would never
kill Michael.

I think
you're quite deranged.

How you have the impudence--

now, look. I just
need to know why

Michael was at my house.

-I'm calling the police.
-Christine!

The police are about
to arrest me

for a crime I didn't commit.

Now, I need your help.

Isn't that the understatement of
the century.

First, you bleed him dry--

you know what? Not that
it's any of your business,

but I helped Michael
start Brandon associates.

I know,
before I was even born,

and then you got
your old boyfriend,

David larabee,

to be his first big client,
yada, yada, yada.

Did you try to kill him, too?

Don't you even care

about them finding
who actually killed Michael?

I think the police
have their girl.

So help me, Christine,
if you don't tell me

what he was doing
at my house--

i-- I am looking for answers!

The only thing
you're looking at

is 15 to 20
in the big house.

Christine?

My... god.

Wow, you don't waste any time,
do you?

And he's wearing Michael's robe!

Who is this?

This is my father,
you stupid kangaroo.

This is Michael's
deranged ex-wife.

No, no! Not ex-wife.

I am his widow.

His killer!

And she came here
to kill us, too.

I think you'd better
be leaving now.

Okay, okay, okay!
I'm leaving.

But before I go,

I believe
you have something of mine.

No, no, no, no!

No, no, no, no!

Michael
gave that to me!

No, no!!

Do you have any idea

how much
that painting costs?

Mom, what's going on?
Are you okay?

Alex, where have you been?

I have been calling and calling!

I've been camping
in New Hampshire,

and my phone
ran out of juice.

What's going on?

All right, honey, you have to
come home right away.

Something terrible
has happened to your father.

Alex.

Mom.

I am so glad
you're home.

I'm not
wearing a tie tomorrow.

Alex, you have to,
out of respect.

After what he did?

Mom! He broke up our family.

He didn't leave you,
honey, he left me.

And whatever happened
between the two of you,

he was still your father.

How can they
arrest you?

That's the craziest thing
I've ever heard.

Are they actually gonna drag you
from the cemetery

and toss you into jail?

I don't know.

I don't know.

You again.

You know, it's still
not too late, Mrs. Brandon.

I'm sure you have

a perfectly reasonable
explanation.

You tell me now,

and maybe I can
work something out for you.

There is nothing to tell.

Then I'll see you
at the funeral.

And that was it--

the moment I knew
I had to save my own life.

What was I
getting myself into?

Innocent widows
don't go on the lam.

And how would it look

that I skipped
Michael's funeral?

What would Alex think of me?

The truth was,

Michael and I had said
our goodbyes.

But I needed to find out

what else was going on
in his life

for the past few years,

and that would lead me
to his killer.

But were the cops
waiting to gun me down?

First and foremost,

I knew I had to
get into the city,

then come up with
a list of people to talk to.

After that,
I'd just have to wing it.

Was this the craziest plan
of all time?

Maybe,

but it was
the only plan I had.

What was I thinking?

Were Michael's friends
and employees

really going to help me?

Please no, please no,
please no, please no.

Okay... okay.

This is good.
Good, good, good...

That's good.

I decided to start
with Michael's enemy,

Artie green,

a man so reclusive,

he ordered his meals
delivered online.

What?

Package from...

Standard-tech.

Just leave it.

I can't.

You have to sign for it.

Audrey?

Boy, are you in trouble!

Artie? How you doin'?

Not dead,

unlike some people
I could mention!

Okay, Artie, just let me in.

Go away.

Please?

I'm not listening.

Hey, Artie.
You got some mail out here.

Let's see what this is.

Dear.

Artie, there's something here
from the f.B.I.

Looks like
they're not done with you yet.

Time to renew

your subscription
to dork digest.

Have the police been here?

I don't have to talk to you.

Well, you do
if you want me to leave.

What did they ask?

What you'd expect.

Where was I
when Michael was murdered.

And? Where were you?

I was dancing the "marinera"
in Peru.

Where do you
think I was?

Do you have any idea

who might have had
a grudge against him?

Yeah! You.

Well, you too!

I'm not the only one
that he dumped once he made it.

But I'm not the one
that's wanted dead or alive.

I could call the cops right now,
they'd be here in two seconds!

Yeah, but then, Artie, then
you'd have to talk on the phone,

and you would hate that,
wouldn't you?

Is it true that

you haven't been out of
this place in months?

Artie, I don't know.

Are you sure you want to
risk going outside?

I mean...

God-knows-who down there?

Man, and then
you'd have to go down

to the police headquarters

and be interviewed...

And they're just gonna

bring up all of the past,
all that past, all over again.

I just...

Artie, listen to me.

I did not kill Michael.

The reason I ran from the police

was so that I could
try to find out who did.

You can't stay here!

All I need is a few minutes
of you on your computer.

-Absolutely no way!
-It'll take maybe 10 minutes--

I don't want to be
an accessory to anything.

I can't handle
the pressure!

Even the thought of it
has me sh... shaking!

Fine.

Then I'm staying.

Go!

Shoo!

Shoo!

Okay. Okay.

What do you want?

All right, I need you

to pull up
Michael's appointment calendar

and phone logs
for the last three weeks.

I don't think I can
break into their system.

They put up a whole
new security firewall

since I left.

No, come on!
A smart guy like you?

Of course you can.
Come on.

Phone logs and calendar.

Now vamoose!

I just have to
study this.

Okay, now, on the day
that he was murdered,

Michael had a 10:00
meeting with his bank,

an 11:30 conference call
with a "c.R.M.,"

whoever that is.

C.r. Macnamara.
Couldn't have been him.

He's based out of
Jackson hole, Wyoming.

And he's in a wheelchair.

A 12:45 brunch

with Chuck Tatum
from melcott American.

Then there's just a long
list of incoming calls

that afternoon--

David larabee,
Carter dietrichson...

And two calls
from Gretchen Van horne,

with a "please call back."

I can't believe
he fired her.

He fired Gretchen?

Yeah!

But she was
so devoted to him!

She used to call the house

and they'd talk business,
like, every night.

He got very good
at getting rid of people.

Okay, I need you to bring up
his phone log again?

Didn't you say
you were leaving?

Trust me,
I won't be offended.

I'm sure you have far more
important people to threaten.

Just access it and I'm gone.

I need to know the last time

that Michael made
an outgoing call

to Gretchen Van horne.

Last thing!

May 31st.

About a month
after he fired her.

So that was about six weeks
before Michael was murdered.

Why all of a sudden
is she pursuing him?

And why didn't he
return her calls?

So long, farewell,
auf wiedersehen... goodbye!

Okay, but, Artie,
you have to promise me

you won't
call the police.

I never saw you.

I never spoke to you.

Just one more thing.

Agh!

Gretchen Van horne's office.

Hi.

This is the super
from Ms. Van horne's building.

We got a terrible problem
with burst pipe

in apartment above hers.

Lots of...

...flooding!

Tell her she must come home now.

Thanks, Artie.

Hey, Artie? You don't still
think I did it, do you?

Yes. And let me be
the first to say,

we that were his victims
thank you.

Hi, Gretchen.

Hi, doll.

Gretchen,
I have a gun.

I don't want to use it,
but don't tempt me.

Honestly, Audrey.

Okay, now,
I want you to laugh

and make it look like

we're having
a great time.

You did not
just say that.

Gretchen.

You should know,
I have very high blood pressure.

Spare me.

Why did you keep in touch
with Artie green?

As a favor to Michael.

He wanted someone to monitor
Artie's hostility level.

Would you please
take off your shoes?

I just had
the aubusson shampooed.

Sit down!

And how hostile was Artie?

Well, how hostile
would you be

if the business partner
you trusted ruined your life?

Listen, doll, I get

that you're trying to
pin Michael's murder

on someone else,

but Artie is an agoraphobe,
a shut-in.

Do you really think
that people are

going to believe
he left his place

and traveled all the way
to the suburbs

just to kill your husband?

All right, I get your point.

Why did Michael fire you?

What does that have to do
with anything?

I am trying
to reconstruct his life,

so that I can get a handle on
who might have killed Michael.

Well, I didn't do it.

Okay, okay.

Listen, Gretchen, Gretchen.

I am on your side.

I always told Michael

that you were the best
business publicist in town.

I mean, you made
his reputation,

so why...
Why let you go?

Was it because of Christine?

'Cause I heard that you two

just, you know,
didn't get along.

Well, who said that?

I mean,
we're not meilleures amies,

but that's past history.

I demand you tell me
who is spreading such slander!

Christine!

She wouldn't
tell you anything.

Not me,

but she told
everyone else in town.

She has been saying
that you are losing your edge,

and that's why
she had Michael fire you.

Christine?

Gretchen, I would not
put up with that

if I were you.

Nothing I did
was good enough for her.

Did that tarantula tell you

that she was desperate
to be on morning Joe?

What did she think?

I could just wave my magic wand
and presto, change-o,

turn her into bethenny frankel?

Tsk. Listen.

I'm 15 minutes late for lunch.
Just let me call my client.

Stop!

You'd been trying to
get Michael to rehire you,

but he wouldn't even
return your calls.

So what are you
trying to say?

I killed him?

Publicists don't kill.

Wives kill.

Tell me something.

Is Christine good
at what she does?

It doesn't really matter.

Michael was crazy about her.

Besotted, really.

You should see
some of the emails

that he sent me about her.

And was it mutual?

No. Baby was b-o-r-e-d, bored.

Michael wasn't important enough.

Ms. Van horne?
Are you all right?

No! Call 911.

Yes, ma'am.
Right away.

This is great.

Gretchen, you...

She's got jet-black hair,

she's wearing a green jacket
and she's crazy.

-Is she armed?
-She's carrying a gun!

-Is she still there?
-I'm not sure.

Jet-black hair
and a green jacket!

She just left here.

Where did she go?

I don't know!

She just left, you moron!

All right,
come around back!

...Back-up.

Suspect is female
with black hair,

wearing a green jacket.

Suspect is armed and dangerous.

I repeat:
Armed and dangerous. Over.

No, no, no!

My purse!

Just when you think
it can't get any worse,

it does.

My suspicions about Christine
had only been strengthened,

but now I had no money,
no phone,

and no one to help me.

My life had been turned
into a combination

of every bad TV movie
ever made.

All I needed now
was a sponsor.

I was exhausted,
my feet were killing me,

but all I could think about
was how hungry I was.

I swear
on a stack of bibles,

I didn't plan it.

Hey!

But then, I would swear
on a stack of bibles

I never did such a thing.

Come back here!

I tried to focus.
Where to next?

There had to be somebody
who could help me.

Come on!

Mrs. B?

J.j.? J.J. Sefton!

I am so...
So glad to see you.

I guess I shouldn't
ask what's new.

No, you shouldn't.

J.j., I-I don't know
what I would've done

if I hadn't run into you.

I am so, so tired,
I can't even think straight.

You're still not
thinking straight, Mrs. B.

I'm not?

There's a $100,000
reward on your head.

Are you serious?

Your husband's company
put up the money.

For a hundred "g"s,

I would sell
my grandmother's wheelchair

out from under
my grandmother.

No, no.

No, no, no, no, no.

No, not the j.J. Sefton
who used to ride his skateboard

inside my house,
you'd never do that.

That j.J. Sefton was

best friends with my son.

Relax.

This j.J. Sefton will help you

because he's impressed
that you are still at large.

Thank you.

Look, um, not that
I don't appreciate it,

but you do realize that
you could get in trouble?

Do you need a fake I.D.
Or a passport?

'Cause I got a guy who...

No, all I need is
a place to sleep tonight,

and to get word to Alex
that I'm okay,

and tell him where
his car is parked,

and then to find out
what's going on at the house.

Piece of cake.

You hungry?

Yes. Yes. Yes.

I tried to sleep,

but all I could think about

was getting somebody in

to clean this place
once a week.

I was surrounded by dirt.

Why wasn't Michael
wearing shoes in the house

the night of the murder?

He certainly didn't
leave them by the front door

to be considerate.

No... there was something else.

Forget about sleeping.

I could always sleep
when I was free,

or in the slammer.

I had work to do.

I soon discovered

that both of
Christine's parents were dead.

Wow! You don't waste
any time, do you?

This is my father,
you stupid kangaroo!

That wasn't the only thing
Christine was lying about.

It turns out she'd been married
and divorced twice

and is the mother
of a child.

Maybe Michael found out
and confronted her.

Makes me sick

to think I left a fine woman,
a wonderful wife and mother,

the love of my life...

For a lying sack of trash
like you!

But why would she kill him
in my kitchen?

Christine vole's office,
please?

Yes. This is Barry detweiler.

I'm a fact-checker
at newsday.

I'm just calling to confirm

that it was Ms. Vole
who authorized

the reward for
Mr. Brandon's killer?

And Ms. Vole's
correct title, please?

"Acting president."

Thank you.

That is all I need.

So, Christine doesn't need to be
Michael's widow and heir.

With Michael dead,
she gets promoted

with a salary boost
and stock options.

She is a power
in her own right.

And that,

sergeant mulligan,

is what we professionals
call "a motive."

You got to hand it to her,
that's a pretty little scheme.

You want me
to call her assistant back,

see if I can get more info?

No, no, no.
She's paid to keep confidences.

Aw, too bad
you can't get her fired.

I bet she would
talk then.

Helen nickerson.

Who?

She used be
Michael's secretary.

He called her
"the witch of wall street,"

and he fired her
right before he left me.

Look who
the cat dragged in.

Helen, I'm sorry to
barge in on you like this,

and, no, I didn't do it.

Aw, who are you
kidding, dearie?

Traded you in
for a newer model,

and you killed him!

I'm just so glad
that I found you home.

Where would I go?

You work for a man,
you work for a company

for 18 years,

you think you'd expect
some security and some loyalty.

Instead, it's "thanks a lot,"
and out with the garbage.

Hey, I know just how you feel.

But didn't Michael give you
a big settlement?

Not as much as
I deserved.

What am I gonna do now?

Who's going to hire me
at this point of my life?

Now, come on!

Now, there are a lot of
things you could still do.

I mean,
look at this place.

With your eye,
you could be a decorator.

Please, dearie.

Both of us are unwanted goods.

Correction.

At least
you're wanted.

Of course
they chose this picture.

Helen, now, come on.
You're an intelligent woman.

Do you honestly think

that if I was planning
to kill Michael,

that I would've
done it so stupidly?

I don't think you planned it.

I think you probably just
went crazy for a moment.

If you think

there's even the slightest
possibility that I didn't do it,

then please, please, just
give me the benefit of the doubt

and answer my questions.

Thank you.

So, according to my sources,

Christine was
involved with a man

who was old enough
to be her father.

Jeff sheldrake.

Jeff sheldrake, the head of
metropolitan-Wells?

Are you sure?

Yeah, apparently,

they had,
a lot of long lunches...

Like, "until 5:00" long.

Did Michael know about this?

I wouldn't be surprised
if he did.

How did Michael and Christine
meet, anyway?

Dr. Dietrichson
introduced them.

Carter?

He brought her
up to the office one day,

and they all
went out for lunch.

But how on earth
would Carter know Christine?

I mean,
he's a plastic surgeon.

Unless she was
one of his patients.

Could I swear
to it? No.

But I've seen
that model nose of her's

all over town.

It was pretty soon
after that

that she went to
work for Michael

and the phone calls from Mandy
stopped.

Mandy? Who's Mandy?

You don't think that

you're the only one that
Michael left for Christine,

do you, dearie?

I never met her,

but I'm sure
she was a real prize.

It was before
he met Christine.

There were a lot of
calls from a "Mandy."

You're looking good!

It's my friend, Mandy.

She's making me run
three nights a week.

Remember?

She's a lawyer
at my old firm.

I was always amazed

that Michael
found time to work.

Is there anyone else
I should know about?

Not that
I found out,

but,
Joan larabee might know.

Joan larabee?
Why would I ask Joan larabee?

She talked with Michael
two, three times a day.

I-i-I'm sorry.

I think that you have her
confused with someone else.

Nobody would ever confuse
Joan larabee with anybody.

And was Michael have an affair
with Joan, too?

No, no.
I don't think so.

I think she got her jollies
from hearing about

what he was doing,

and he got his from telling her.

If you really want to know
all about the women

in your husband's life,

don't ask me,
ask Joan larabee.

So, after all those years,

you had no idea
that he was cheating on you?

No. None.

I mean, you think
you know somebody, and--

come on! He must've
left you some clues.

No. I'm telling you,

I was completely
blindsided.

I mean, you know,

I know that our marriage
wasn't perfect,

but when I looked around,

it seemed to be as good
as anybody else's. Thank you.

Did you ever
cheat on him?

Never!

You were never even tempted?

Well, you know...

Once.

Who was he?

My old college boyfriend,
David larabee.

L-- "larabee" larabee?

Married to Joan?

Yep.

Ho-ho-ho,
ho-ho-ho!

The plot thickens.

When Michael needed clients,

I called David,

and invited him to shun Lee,
which used to be "our place."

Well, he looked amazing,

and we could still
make each other laugh.

Michael, for all of his charms,
was not a funny guy.

Okay, come on,
come on, come on.

Cut to the juicy part.

Nothing happened.

David was a total gentleman.

No, he had moved on.

He had a gorgeous wife,
gorgeous life,

but I did convince him
to give Michael a chance.

In fact...

David called Michael
the day that he was killed.

You should call him.

No, I-I can't.

Why not? He can help you.

I mean, I mean-- no.

At this point,
we are practically strangers,

and I doubt he'd help me.

Besides, Joan's the one
who would know something,

and she would never
talk to me.

Forget it.

Hello?

Hey, it's me.
Can you talk?

Yes!

You're alive!

And well, except when
I imagine myself

in the prison cafeteria
wearing an orange jumpsuit.

Have you seen Alex?

Yes, yes, he came over
to dinner after the funeral,

which, pardon the pun,
was deadly.

Aud, I think
you got to know this.

You know
your Nemesis, mulligan?

He's got this new theory.

He says the reason
you skipped town

is you didn't want
to draw attention

to the real killer.

Yeah? And who
is that supposed to be?

Alex.

He said he interviewed
all of Alex's friends

and they all said

that Michael and he
didn't get along.

No! That-- that's crazy!

I mean,
they don't have any proof.

And besides, Alex was
in New Hampshire,

camping with his friends
on the day Michael was murdered.

No, they think
he was lying.

There's actually a photo
of him in the city

the day of the murder.

I gotta
deal with this.

Where are you going?

I have no choice.

I'm turning myself in.

The police think
that Alex is the killer.

Whoa, whoa!

Get out of my way.

Do you think I'm gonna
let my son be arrested

for a crime
he didn't commit?

-I thought you were smart.
-I am smart!

Really? Because
a smart person would realize

that you're doing exactly
what the cops want you to do--

turn yourself in.

That's why
I didn't tell you.

You knew?

Alex told me
when I called,

but don't you think

that if they had
anything real against Alex,

that they would've
charged him by now?

Yeah, but he lied about
being in New Hampshire!

My god!

Then they're definitely gonna
put him on death row!

Relax.

Alex is cool.

If you turn
yourself in now,

the cops are gonna stop looking
for the real killer.

So, what do you
think I should do?

I found you a lawyer.

Before you do anything rash,

I need you
to talk to Joey lilac.

There's a person
named "Joey lilac?"

Mr. Lilac?

Joey. And...

This is "tiny."

Hello, tiny.

You know,
you're doing something right.

I've seen your
picture everywhere,

but until you
sat down beside me,

I didn't notice you.

Well, nobody notices
middle-aged women.

We might as well
be invisible.

Stop it.

J.j. Was right,
you're a looker.

A regular Tina Louise.

You know,
I shouldn't even be here,

what with you taking a powder.

But if anyone sees us,

I'm just a regular bloke
taking his dog for a walk.

Besides, you don't
have the money for my retainer.

How do you know that?

A mate in
the d.A.'S office told me

they've frozen your assets.

Now, I could apply
to lift the freeze

to pay your legal fees,

but I'd have to produce you.

You want to be produced?

No, thank you.

I figured as much.

So why did you come?

Let's just say
your story intrigues me.

Besides,
money has a way

of finding its way
into my pocket.

Now, can you think of anyone
else who might have done it?

You know,
besides the girlfriend?

Well, I did
just find out

that Christine
was having an affair

with Jeff sheldrake,

who she claimed
was her father.

She could've
put him up to it.

Men...

Throughout the ages,

have succumbed to the wiles
of the female sex,

ever since Delilah.

And maybe Michael
found out about it.

But that doesn't explain

what they were
doing in my kitchen.

Let me do a little digging.

Now, I can't get the lab reports
until you're indicted,

but I can talk
to a detective mate

and see if he can come up
with a few pieces of paper.

Thank you,
mister-- Joey.

But I've got to be honest.

The cops are angry.

Right.

And the time is almost past

where we can make
any kind of deal for you.

Hang tight.

All right?
Tiny, come on.

Come on!

So why did Carter
introduce Christine

to your husband
in the first place?

That's what
I intend to find out.

Okay, boss.

What's the plan?

Well, for one thing,
you're staying here.

Why can't I help you?

You've already helped me
in more ways than you know.

Then you'd better take this.

It may come in handy.

What? No, no, no, no, no.

I-I-I wouldn't trust myself
with a real gun.

It's fake.

It is?

Well, in that case, okay.

Wow, it just looks so real.

What, you don't think
I'd give you a piece of junk?

Thanks, j.J.

Thank you.

-What the--
-keep driving, Carter.

I'm driving straight
to the police, you lunatic.

I hope you realize--

I'm not gonna
get away with it.

Blah, blah, blah.

Are you crazy? Do you know
how much that phone cost me?

That's gonna be you,
if you don't shut up.

Now, I want you to get off
at the next exit.

Pull over.

I will do
no such thing.

Do you know what kind
of neighborhood this is?

Now, Carter, I may not
be able to kill you,

but believe me, I can
shoot you where it hurts.

Now pull over.

Now kill the engine
and the lights.

Keys.

You're not gonna throw
those out the window,

are you?

Well, that depends on

whether you answer
my questions or not.

Why did you call Michael
on the day he was killed?

His chin.

He wanted to
clean up his jawline.

My Michael?

Yeah, well, he wasn't your
Michael anymore now, was he?

All right. Touche.

Then why did he come
to my house that night?

I honestly don't know.
Would you please just

move that thing
out of--

just calm down, Carter.
You just tell me the truth,

you'll get out of here
alive and intact.

You introduced
Christine to Michael?

Right?

Yes.

Why?

She was
a casual acquaintance.

She'd heard about
Michael's company

and she asked me
to arrange a meeting.

Were you having
an affair with her?

Of course not!!

Were you having
an affair with her?

What does that have to
do with anything?

And was it still going on

when you introduced her
to Michael?

Yes.

Does Phyllis know?

No! And don't you
tell her.

She's been having
a hard enough time

as it is lately.

She's been a good friend
to you, Audrey.

You just
leave her alone.

You must have
been furious

when she dumped you
for Michael.

Yeah, well, I wasn't
angry enough to kill him.

What do you
know about Mandy?

Who?

He was involved with
someone named Mandy

before Christine.

Is that the same Mandy
Phyllis runs with?

I never heard of her.
Now would you please let me go?

Just,
one last question.

Christine's nose.

Did you fix it?

Yeah.

So, Carter

was having an affair
with Christine as well.

It was something,
but I needed a lot more.

If you really want to
know all about

the women
in your husband's life,

don't ask me,
ask Joan larabee.

The problem was,

there was no way Joan larabee
would ever help me.

J.j. Was right,
I had to talk to David.

But would David talk to me?

Come on.

Pick up, please.

I'm leaving now.

I should be there
in 20 minutes.

Order me a Martini.

David?

Who is this?

It's Audrey.

Audrey.

What the hell happened?

Where are you calling from?

Look, I'm sorry
to ambush you like this,

but I have no choice.

Look, Audrey,
I-I can't get involved.

I just need you to get
some information from Joan.

That's it.

Look, I have to go.

You know,
before Michael left me,

he told me that he had
some information

on a certain company
that you were acquiring

that he thought the s.E.C.
Might find very interesting.

Really, Audrey?

What? What do you got?

Well,
I'd be pretty stupid

if I told you.

Then don't bother.

Don't--

Come on.

Okay, don't hang up.
Don't hang up.

I am sorry, um,
and I'm out of quarters.

Look, Audrey,
I'm walking out the door,

and I'm late for something.

This'll just take a minute.

I'm sorry, David. I...

Look, you don't
owe me anything.

Then why call?

Old acquaintance?

I am out of options...

Please just tell me
what I need to say to you

to get you to help me.

"I'll buy you a drink."

Audrey.

David.

There's not much
I can tell you.

Michael was Joan's friend.

But you talked to him on
the day he was killed.

What? What did you
talk about?

I don't really remember.

It had to be
business-related.

I only had a business
relationship with him.

Did you and Joan

spend time with
Michael and Christine?

You didn't know?

Sorry.

I feel like such an idiot.

You know, apparently,
everyone else did.

Do you know about
any other women

that Michael
was involved with?

I know Joan mentioned some other
woman before Christine,

but, to be honest, i--

I don't remember
any details.

Could you ask Joan for me?

I know she'd never
tell me anything.

David, please.

I wouldn't ask you
if I wasn't desperate.

Come on.

Where are we going?

Back to my place.
Joan's out of town.

No, I don't want you
to be seen there with me.

We can go to a hotel.

Relax. That's not on my agenda.

Besides, we need to
get you someplace safe.

You do realize that
you're harboring a fugitive?

When a man gives you a "yes,"
Audrey,

you don't warn him about
the lousy bargain he's made.

Fair enough.

Mrs. Larabee, please?

It's not our policy
to put calls through.

I'm not interested
in what your regulations are.

This is her husband.

Connect me now.

Do you have
any idea what time it is?

Sorry to wake you.

I need some information
about Brandon associates.

Can't it wait?

I'm in agony!

Some "recovery center"
this is.

Doctors have me

switching sides
every two hours.

The least they can do

is baste me with
a Mai Tai-and-morphine marinade.

I'll have them
send up another round

when we're through.

Is it a tummy-tuck?

Fine.

What?

Can Christine run the company
as well as Michael?

Well, Michael seemed
to think so,

but it was breaking his heart

she was cheating on him
with Jeff sheldrake.

What'd she ever see
in that pretentious stiff?

Trust me,
you'd be amazed

what a woman

will overlook when a man
is worth what he is.

Michael was terrified

that if he couldn't compete,
he'd lose her.

Why did he go back
to his old house?

Would you believe
it was to get a bill of sale

from some awful painting
he'd given Christine?

If you knew what it was worth,
you'd faint.

And to think
he originally bought it

for that old school-marm
he was married to.

Who was the...

The woman that Michael was
involved with before Christine?

Mary? Mitzi?

Mitzi?

It was Mandy.

Was Michael as crazy about her
as he was Christine?

Well, he dumped her
for Christine,

so draw your own conclusions.

Really, David, is this
what you consider important?

Do you even comprehend
the torture

that I've been put through?

I won't be able to sleep
on my tummy for months!

I guess I just missed
hearing your charming voice.

Well, darling,

this charming voice
has two more words for you,

and they're not
"happy birthday."

Well...
She sounds nice.

No, no, David,

I don't need
your money, really.

Thank you.

You hungry?

This is
one classy joint.

Maybe not
up to the level

of that firetrap
we stayed at in Bali.

Yeah, well, what is?

No, no. Me.

What was it
called again?

Did it have a name?

The bagas ubud.

...ubud! Right.

My mother was so horrified
when I told her about that.

She called it

"the bad bedbugs."

She wasn't far off
from the truth.

Yeah.

How is your mother?

She died
a few years ago.

You know, she never
really trusted Michael.

I wonder if maybe that
blinded me to his faults,

you know, just to
prove her wrong.

She was always
crazy about you, though.

She always used to ask,

"whatever happened
to that nice boy David?"

I often ask myself
the same thing.

You know that time
we had lunch at shun Lee?

When I introduced
you to Michael?

It was the first time I'd been
in that place in over 20 years.

Come on!

We used to eat there,
like, twice a week.

First time I'd been
in that neighborhood

in 20 years.

Hasn't changed much.

Joan and I were
happy for about...

Six months.

Took me that long
to realize

we'd gotten married

because each of us
thought "it was time."

Her old man thought
I was a comer.

She had the life I wanted.
Thought I wanted.

Anyway, my life is my own.

I have a wife when I need one.

-Geez.
-Are you okay?

-Yeah.
-I'll get you a towel.

What, you think
this is funny?

I just had this suit
made for me in London.

God! I sound like Joan.

Just shoot me now.

I'm sorry.
No, I only do stabbings.

What are we laughing at?

I'm walking
through life

embalmed,

and you're an accused killer
on the lam.

That's true...
But other than that,

Mrs. Lincoln,
how did you enjoy the play?

Best show in town.

You missed a little.

So...

Michael's shoes
were by the front door.

Yeah, for the first
time in his life.

But the police said
that was because

he was sneaking
into the house?

Well, that's what they said,
but you--

there's something

that doesn't seem
right about that.

Maybe if he was
wearing boots.

Still like a cheap red
with a screw-top, right?

Sweet of you to remember.

But why would the killer
take off Michael's shoes?

I don't know.

And it was all just for
a receipt for a painting?

Did you know where it was?

I don't know. I never...

I never really
thought about it.

Either the killer took it,

or he hadn't found
what he was looking for,

and it's still there.

If Christine
was the killer,

she obviously
didn't find it,

or she'd have sold
the painting by now.

But is Christine

really capable of murder?

But then she'd have to
run the company all by herself.

That's what
we need to find out.

As you know,

I've had a long relationship
with Brandon associates.

I would hope it's been
profitable for both of us.

For you, maybe,
but not for me,

which is why
I am dropping your services.

You don't want to
make that mistake.

Your report

on Norton-Hazeltine

could have been done
by a second-rate sophomore

at any third-rate
college.

I don't accept that.

You're no more fit
to run a research company

than your boyfriend was.

I'm very qualified.

Your background is finance,
isn't it?

What makes you think
you can oversee

a hundred or so academic types?

By creating a vp slot
solely for quality control,

and I guarantee you--

you can't guarantee
anything.

All I'm asking for

is two months

to turn you around.

Please.

Not at these rates.

25% off your billing
for the next two months.

And, after
the trial period,

a blanket 10% on
what you're paying now,

and I will
freeze that rate

for two years.

You had those figures worked out
before you came here.

A girl likes
to come prepared.

I'll give it some thought.

Thank you.

I apologize.

I should've asked you
how you were doing.

This must be
a terrible time for you.

I'm a wreck.

A wreck. It's...

Not just Michael's death,

it's the fact
that he was murdered.

Did you hear his psycho wife
tried to kill me, too?

My god.

I'm just...

I'm lucky I'm alive.

I knew her.

Years ago.

I can't believe she's capable
of that kind of violence.

To look at her,

you'd never suspect it,

but I hear she has some boy-toy
stashed away somewhere.

She's been planning this
for years.

I was just
the icing on the cake.

You're a little more
than icing.

Did you know that
after he moved in with me,

I started getting

all these sick
phone calls from her?

From Audrey?

She'd disguise her voice,

and it came from
a blocked number,

but who else
had the motive, right?

Michael could
make a woman crazy.

But not you.

It takes a lot
to make me crazy.

I'm sure it does.

By the way,
i, um, accept your terms.

We'll speak again
in two months.

Hopefully sooner.

I'd like that.

I'd like that a lot.

Wow. Is there
anything that

that woman wouldn't do
to get what she wants?

She may not be
carrying a weapon,

but she is definitely
armed and dangerous.

So, you think
she killed him?

She could have done it.

But Jeff sheldrake,

Helen nickerson,
Gretchen Van horne,

and Artie green
all had strong motives, too.

And don't forget about Carter.

You know, Michael
stole Christine from him.

But here's what I don't get.

Why did Christine
need to create

such an elaborate story
about phone calls?

Well, I don't know,

I just know
I didn't do it.

Then who did?

Mandy!

You can't go back
to shore haven.

The cops are going to be
looking for you,

and you know your house
is under surveillance.

Yeah, well,
I don't have a choice.

Then I'm coming with you.

Absolutely not.

You know, if they catch me,
then they'll catch you.

How are you even
going to get there?

I rented a car.

How? They'd have taken
one look at your license and--

"Lorraine minosa?"

How did you get this?

I got a guy.

You don't have to
do this, aud.

I'll fly you somewhere
on a private plane,

give you
whatever you need.

You can slip into
a whole new life.

Wow.

If I told you

I never think
about second chances,

I'd be lying.

But I'm a mother
and I can't leave my son.

I understand.

And, plus, I don't
want to spend

the rest of my life
on the run,

and I don't want
to mess up yours.

Maybe that's what I need.

So, who's the boy-toy
you've got stashed away?

Well, you know,
there are so many of them,

I really can't remember
all their names.

Take this.

Only I have the number.

You sure I can't
come with you?

David.

I want you to know
that whatever happens--

I know.

Me too.

Wait a minute.

I almost forgot.

You know...

We'll always have Paris.

You not
killing Michael

might be the best thing
that ever happened to me.

Hello?

Hey, it's me.
Can you talk?

Hey, Susan.
I can't talk right now.

The police are here.

They're asking me questions
about Audrey Brandon.

-Hi.
-Hi.

Have a sandwich
and a soda.

Thank you.

Now, I couldn't
pry the tire report

out of the police lab,

but I got a mate
to give me the highlights.

You weren't
hallucinating.

There were two different
sets of tire tracks

in your driveway
that night.

Your husband's car
has pirelli p-zeros.

The others were michelin mxp.

So this is good news?

Well, it's not like
having what's her name--

-...the girlfriend--
-Christine.

...get a guilt-fit and offer
a videotaped confession,

but it's not bad.

No, no. It corroborates
part of my story.

Just a small part,
to be honest,

but it's a start,

and, you know, something for me
to take up with the d.A.

-Okay.
-Meanwhile...

You stay put.

Sure, Joey.

Come on, tiny!

Only I had
too much at stake

to "stay put."

I knew the risk
I was taking,

but at least I had
my good friends to count on.

But would
Phyllis help someone

who had abducted
her husband at gunpoint?

My god! Audrey!

How are you?

I'm fine. I'm fine.

Look, I'm really,
really sorry

about what happened
with Carter.

I guess you are under
a lot of pressure.

I really am.

How on earth
did you get a gun?

Well, it's a long story.

Audrey?
Did you do it?

No!

Okay.

I just needed you
to look me in the eye

and tell me that.

Listen to me, Phyllis.

I need you to help me
find your friend, Mandy.

Mandy? Why are you
interested in Mandy?

She's the one who had
an affair with Michael

before he started up
with Christine.

I don't think so.

I don't believe that
for a second.

Mandy's flat-chested
and she has big teeth.

People say she can eat an apple
through a tennis racket.

Besides, she just
made partner,

and she's working
all the time.

Well, do you know
where she lives?

She just moved.
I think morwood Crescent.

Do you know which house?

It's a split-level, but then,
they're all split-levels--

-you must have her number?
-Let's go inside?

No, no, I don't
want to go in there.

Carter might--

no, Carter's
not home yet.

Look, we need to talk
through things calmly.

Are you hungry?

I've got a pomme dartois
in the oven.

Phyllis! Please!

I'm sorry.

I was just
trying to help.

What do I do?

Run!

I need backup now.
She's heading to the forest.

Police! Freeze!

What is going on?

What is-- what--
my god!

You look like
Zelda Fitzgerald,

after she went nuts!

What happened?

- The police shot me.
- What?

My god, we've got
to get you to the hospital!

No, no, no. No, no, no.
Then they'd arrest me.

It's only a graze,
not like I hit an artery or--

What're you doing
look at this.

Bleeding all over the floor!

-David--
-David?

- Yeah.
- You okay?

No, I'm fine.

Good. Listen.
I have some news for you.

No, she's not fine.
My god.

I spoke to Joan,

and I found out
something interesting.

You did?

Okay, Joan
distinctly remembers

Michael describing Mandy

as "beautiful, elegant,
and oversexed."

I don't know,
maybe Phyllis was

talking about
a different Mandy.

Or Mandy's attractive,
and Phyllis was lying?

But why?

All right, we've got to
get over to Phyllis's,

we've got to
find out the truth!

Anita? Do you know where--
my god!

She's here.

I'm gonna hold her
and you call the police!

-Ted! Ted! Ted!
-Let her go!

Let her go!

Get this off!

Have you taken leave
of your senses?

You're harboring
a fugitive here!

This is my best friend.

I'm going to prove
to everybody

that she's innocent!

Innocent?
Like Lizzie borden?

How are we gonna
get you to--

I forbid you to get
involved, Anita!

Do you understand?
Forbid.

Would you relax
already?

Relax?

I am a podiatrist,

and you're turning me
into an accessory.

Here.
I swiped Ted's gun.

I don't need it.

I still have
my fake one.

You need a real one.

I don't intend
to shoot anybody.

Take it.

You know I'm claustrophobic.

Hello, officer.

Evening.

Yes, officer. Anita Dixon.

You remember me? Here.

Right.

Listen, officer,

Audrey Brandon left my house two
minutes ago.

What did she want?

Where did she say
she was going?

I don't know.
She was very agitated.

Um, she said, she--

she parked her rented car
at Melvin place.

It's a blue Toyota.

Please let me in
to see Mrs. Dietrichson.

We really need to
calm each other down.

All right.
Let her go.

Thank you.

All right,
let's round it up.

Thank you,
thank you.

All right, guys.
Let's go! Move. Move.

My god!

Can you believe
this nightmare?

Are you all right?

-Yes.
-Is Carter home?

No, he's not home yet.

God.

What are you doing?

Shh!

Come on.

-Phyllis--
-what? What's going on?

Audrey is innocent.

I can vouch for her.

And she's been shot.

My god.
Are you okay?

-I-I will be.
-This is a nightmare!

Yeah, tell me
about it.

That is why
we need your help.

-Come on, Phyllis, please.
-What do you want me to do?

Mrs. Dietrichson?
Is everything all right?

What?

Tell him we're fine,

that we're just
trying to unwind.

Mrs. Dietrichson!

-Mrs. Dietrichson!
-What are you doing?

-Shh!
-Be quiet.

Hello?

Why did you tell Audrey
that Mandy was ugly?

Because she is.

That's not what Michael
told Joan larabee.

I don't know what
you're talking about, Audrey.

Besides, how can I think
logically, stuffed in a closet?

Didn't you say that
Mandy dropped you off

the night of the murder?

-So?
-So she could've easily--

...driven back to
Audrey's right afterwards.

How do I know?
I don't know where she went.

Why did Carter tell me
he'd never met Mandy?

Maybe he was confused.

Can we please get out of
this Marx brothers stateroom?

Wait a second!

What?

Mandy doesn't exist,
does she?

Phyllis!

You tell me the truth,
or so help me god,

I'm gonna hit you

over the head
with a teapot.

I needed a way to get out
at night occasionally.

It was just a little lie
that grew and grew.

Then why did
his ex-secretary

say that a woman
named "Mandy"

kept on calling him
at the office?

I don't know! Didn't you say
that woman was a crazy old lush?

Besides, there's more than
one Mandy in the world.

Well, the woman
that Michael was

having an affair
with was Mandy.

It wasn't Mandy.
I don't know who she--

- my god.
What?

Mandy is Phyllis,
and Phyllis killed Michael!

No!

Help!

It's kidnapping!
And murder!

Be very careful,
Mrs. Brandon.

Likewise.

Look. I talked to your lawyer
a few hours ago,

a Mr. Joey lilac.

You have a lawyer
named Joey lilac?

Now, he made
some very good points.

Maybe you do have
a reasonable explanation

for all this,

but I must ask you
to put the gun down.

Are you gonna put yours down?

I'm afraid I can't do that.

Well, then
I'm afraid I can't either.

Should I proceed?

Yes, please.

I am so confused!

Okay, the morning
after the murder.

I saw two men from
your forensics unit

making molds of

tire tracks
on my front lawn,

but they were made

from two different tires.

Check Dr. and Mrs. Dietrichson's
tires for a match.

This is simply insane.

Phyl, this isn't a chat,
this is a monologue.

All right, then.

May I please sit down?

Thank you.

Now, both Carter and Phyllis

denied having seen Michael
in the neighborhood

on the night of the murder,

but a few days later,

I asked Phyllis what time
she got home that night.

I got home about 10, 10:30.

And did you go
right to bed?

You know me. I suddenly
felt like baking brioche.

This is significant
because why?

-It's not!
-Quiet!

Phyllis prides herself
on doing it the classic way--

no shortcuts!

Where the dough goes through
three risings.

-At least.
-Which means that...

She wouldn't finish baking
until 4:00 in the morning.

The question is, why
was she up baking at that hour?

After she committed
the murder,

Phyllis was wired,
she couldn't just go to sleep.

I mean, she needed
some sort of an outlet.

You're saying that,
after the garden club,

I killed Michael,

then went home
and baked brioche?

Trust me, it's delicious!

Before he met Christine vole,

my husband was having an affair
with a woman named "Mandy,"

who was, in reality, Phyllis.

Is this true?

Of course not. It's crazy!

They spoke constantly
from his office.

Check your phone records,
you'll see.

This puts
a whole different

light on the story,
doesn't it?

You can't possibly be
taking any of this seriously.

You poor little thing.

You've really have snapped,
haven't you?

Michael dumped Phyllis
for Christine,

the same woman
who was having an affair

with her husband, Carter.

She then made
a series of

threatening phone calls
to Christine.

Have your people check

those phone logs, too.
The point is,

Phyllis felt doubly betrayed,
and she wanted revenge.

I suppose I lured
Michael to your house, too?

No, no, that was just
an unfortunate coincidence.

-Me?
-Yes, you.

Sergeant?

Just give me a couple of
minutes, Turner. I'm busy here.

Michael was terrified

that he was losing
Christine to another man,

and so he gave her
an expensive painting

that he had
bought for me.

She hated it
and wanted the cash instead.

He had left the bill of sale
at the house,

so he came home to find it

at an hour
he figured I'd be asleep.

Unfortunately for him,

he arrived at the same time
Phyllis was coming home

from her garden club meeting.

I have been
patient long enough.

You've got to end this.

No, I'm not
leaving Christine.

I love you, and I think
you're making--

stop it, stop it!
Stop it! It's over!

You and I are done.
We're through, all right?

Not that
there was anything--

Phyllis had given up her job,

her marriage was empty,

and then Michael took away
the only thing she had left--

hah!

...hope.

That's your big story?

No. That's
just the prologue.

Phyllis then got rid of
all her fingerprints,

which is why none were found
in the house.

You remember how I told you

Michael never took off
his shoes?

Yes...

The sprinklers had been on
earlier that night.

The ground was wet.

Phyllis would've had to
get rid of their footprints

in the house...

She knew that the police
would be suspicious

if Michael's shoes were muddy

but the floor
was still sparkling-clean.

So she took them off,

and she did something that
Michael would never do...

She placed them neatly
at the front door.

So Phyllis killed Michael,

and then she stayed
and cleaned up after?

Wow, that is class.

Phyllis then
raced back to her house,

where she waited

for her husband, Carter,
to come home.

It was then

that she started
making the brioche.

This is all lies.

I have never had
an affair with anyone.

I was your friend,
Phyllis.

You slept with my husband,
you killed him,

and then you tried
to pin it on me!

I took a bullet
for you!

No way. Wait. Wait a minute!

You got shot? When?

Tonight!
One of your men shot me

while I was running from here
earlier.

No, no, no, no.

That's impossible.

None of my men have
discharged their weapons.

We thought
you were shooting at us!

Well, it wasn't me.

It couldn't have been her.
She was outside with me.

Well, who shot you, then?

-You let me in!
-Sir, you can't go in there!

Let go of me!
Let go!

Carter!

You're the one
who shot me tonight.

Officer, I just now
got back from the city.

Dr. Dietrichson, please,
have a seat.

Turner, wait outside for me.

Have a seat!

Now, Phyllis lied
to me earlier tonight.

You were home!

And Phyllis tipped you off.

Audrey! My god.

Then you called the police...

Because you knew

that I was gonna have to run
into those woods,

and you shot me!

The bullet grazed my arm
and then hit a tree,

and I can show you
the tree.

I betcha anything the bullet
is gonna match Carter's gun.

Carter...

Did you know that Phyllis was
having an affair with Michael?

No. I will not
be put through this again.

Go ahead,
shoot me if you must.

Dr. Dietrichson, please.
Answer the question.

You're taking her side now?

You're gonna have to
answer sooner or later.

Carter,
you don't have to

say anything
without an attorney present.

No, sergeant.

I'm sure Phyllis
would never be unfaithful.

Carter...

Please,
tell the truth.

Just because Phyllis
was having an affair

with Michael

doesn't automatically
make her a murderer.

Audrey Brandon
murdered her husband.

That is all I need to say.

Now, look,
Mrs. Dietrichson.

Dr. Dietrichson,

I'm not gonna pull
the wool over your eyes,

but if you cooperate
with me right now,

I will make sure

that none of your dirty laundry
is made public.

-Hey!
-Whoa!

-Hey!
-Hey!

Backyard!
Backyard!

-Backyard!
-Phyllis!

No, no.

-Police!
-Freeze!

-Phyllis!
-Phyllis, no!

-Freeze!
-Stop right there, lady!

Freeze!

-Freeze!
-No!

I did not
see that coming.

I think we got her, sir.

Get out of the pool, ma'am.

Not even loaded.

It's not?

Oops. Sorry.

Carter, what happened

on the night
of Michael's murder?

All right,
I'll take it from here.

Carter?

What happened

on the night
of Michael's murder?

Phyllis was...

Very flush.

She told me
she'd been running.

That had always been her excuse
to get out of the house

to see Michael.

I thought
it had started up again.

And when
did you hear

about the murder?

Be quiet!

And when did you hear
about the murder?

The next morning.

I found the clothes
she'd been wearing,

and in the pocket
was the bill of sale

for the painting
Michael had been looking for.

I just knew
she had done it.

And yet,

you were willing
to let me go to jail

for the rest of my life?

Wouldn't you do the same
for someone you loved?

You were bluffing
when you said

you saw the bullet
hit the tree, weren't you?

What am I,
a German Shepherd?

You think I can see
a bullet hit a tree

in the dark?

Good bluff, though.

You know,
if you watched

the true crime shows,

you would know how
these things are done.

It's not
brain surgery.

You were brilliant.

Well, thank you.

A little help
from my friends.

Well, you're not
off the hook yet.

Well, you did run.

Are you kidding me?

I saved your bacon.

How would you like to see
Audrey on the view?

"Cops go after
innocent widow."

I think
she's too classy for that.

Try me.

And that's only
the beginning.

Joey lilac will have
every publisher in town

fighting over who gets
to make a book deal.

I'll see of I can get the d.A.
To drop the charges.

Yes, so maybe you should.

Now, may I please
go home and see my son?

Be my guest.

Thank you.

-Goodnight.
-'Night.

Ho, ho, ho!

What the...

You're, like, famous now.

I've been bragging
to all my friends.

I think it would be
"infamous."

What?
What happened here?

No, it's nothing,
it's just...

Come inside. I have
something to show you.

Did you
buy me a drink?

Maybe.

Hello.

That tastes nice.

Yes.

My god.

Okay, okay.

What?

This whole, like,
last week has been...

Well, nothing
short of surreal.

Turns out you know how to handle
yourself pretty well.

Yeah, well,
I had a little help.

But still.

Look at where it led me.

Back to Chinese take-out.

I'll be back tomorrow.

Free and clear,

except for the paperwork.

Would you make a wish?

What do you know?

Already came true.

Garlic.

Soy sauce.

Moo goo gai pan?