Original subtitles

- [Tig] There were toys made in your likeness?

- Oh yeah, not Barbie but like dolls, like Barbie dolls.

- Who are you?

(laughing)

- [Alexa] Please welcome, Tig Notaro.

- Hi, welcome to Under a Rock with Tig Notaro.

I'm Tig Notaro.

I don't watch many movies or TV shows

so I'm really bad at recognizing famous people.

And on this show I interview famous people

to try and figure out who they are.

So please welcome this person.

(lively music)

Hi. - Hello, how are you?

- I'm good, thanks for being here.

- Yeah, thanks for having me.

- So, um,

great, well, ah

are you thirsty?

- Yeah, sure.

Love me some water.

- Where are you from?

- I was raised in New York.

- Okay. - Yeah.

- For a second I thought I detected a Louisiana accent.

- Oh, my husband's from Alabama.

- Ah, it was close.

- Yeah, there's a vacuum there

from when I lost my New York accent

so I kinda picked up the southern from him.

- Nice. (laughs)

I don't know why I feel like I need to tell you,

this is a cue card. - Okay.

(laughs)

Good to know.

- Is there anyone you are often mistaken for?

- Sarah Michelle Gellar. - Okay.

- Not necessarily because of look

but because of other reasons.

- What are they?

- Because we both have three names, mainly.

- Ah,

I have three names.

My first, middle, and last.

- Yeah, mine too, mine too.

- Yeah, and you use all three, you're known,

like people all three of your names.

- [Melissa] You're almost there.

- Do you have a catchphrase?

Like, Git-R-Done!

- The closest I have is probably, woohoo!

(laughs)

- People tuning in, they would be like, oh,

as soon as they click to this show they'd be like,

oh my god, there's the woman that says woohoo.

- No. - Okay.

- That's not what they would say at all.

- Do you know who I am? - I don't.

- Okay, Alexa, who is Tig Notaro?

- [Alexa] Mathilde Tig O'Callaghan Notaro

is an American stand-up comic,

writer, radio contributor, and actress.

The special Tig Notaro: Boyish Girl Interrupted

was nominated in 2016 at the 68th Primetime Emmy Awards

for Outstanding Writing for a Variety Special.

- Awesome, that's great. - I don't do high fives.

- Oh, sorry. (laughing)

Good to know.

- But this is what, if somebody goes to high five me

this is, I'll teach you what I do.

Question?

(laughing)

And then-- - Can I steal that?

- You can, but there's more to it.

Question?

- Can I high five you? - No.

(laughs)

- What if you get this?

- I do this.

(laughing)

You know what, I'm gonna do a fun fact about you,

this is a fun fact about you.

Wow.

- Uh oh.

- You own five Picassos.

- Yes, I own five Picassos, two Rembrandts,

one Dali, and one Degas.

- Are you? - I like art.

- Do you like art?

- I do, I like art. - You do?

- You know, I went to school for a little while in Florence.

- And do you speak Italian?

- I'm trying, I take lessons a lot.

- Can I hear some?

- No. - Please.

Just any,

meatball.

(speaking in foreign language)

- I don't know, oh! - You just told me your name.

- I did just tell you my name.

- So your name is Melissa. - So you got the first part.

- Melissa boom boom. - Mhm, mhm.

That's pretty close actually.

(laughing)

- Melissa Boom Boom? - Yeah, yeah.

- Okay, Melissa.

(laughing)

What's your last name?

(laughing)

Your father was a lobster wholesaler.

- Yeah, yeah.

- I didn't know that about you?

- He was, I know, now my dad's actually an oyster breeder

but he was a lobster wholesaler.

- People have their passions.

- I know, he's got his maternity ward

and he impregnates the oysters, it's crazy.

- He impregnates the oysters?

Okay, when did you get famous

for the thing that your famous for?

- Probably

in my teen years when I was about 13.

- Do you sing?

- No.

- Would you mind-- - No.

Do I have to sing in Italian?

- No, I was gonna say, would you mind solving this.

- Oh, yeah sure, yeah, no problem.

Got it, I got it, let's see, almost there,

my son taught me this, I know how to do this.

Hold on, the middle ones are always, let's see if I can...

- Okay, give me that. - I don't understand it.

(laughing)

- This will help me figure out who you are immediately.

(laughing)

- Those are hard to use.

- Woohoo!

(laughing)

- Exactly.

Those are fun, have you ever used those?

- I haven't,

when would I ever need.

I guess if I went to gay pride, I'll be honest, I'm gay.

- Yeah? - Yeah.

- I've been dabbling in homosexuality for decades.

- For a long time. - For decades.

(laughs)

God, I can't wait to find out who you are.

- You want me to give you a clue?

- I do.

- All right, let's see.

- Ooh,

- So this

- a cat.

- would be the best symbol of me,

this would be sort of-- - Are you cat girl?

- Some people might call me that,

walking down the street they might be like,

hey, you worked with that cat.

- Oh, you work with a cat?

- He won't shut up.

- Okay.

- My most known co-star I'll say.

- Your most-- - There's also a stand up.

That you might know. - There's a stand up?

- Caroline Rhea. - I do.

So you're from, um,

the Teenage Witch.

(laughs)

- Yes, but you still don't know my name.

- I don't.

You know, my wife watched that show.

- Really? - Yeah.

- Sabrina the Teenage, are you Sabrina?

- Yes. - You're Sabrina.

- Yeah. - Okay.

And your name is Melissa-- - Boom boom.

So I've got a good clue here for ya.

Melisten up.

- Melisten up?

That is not the first time you've used that.

- Believe it or not it is, actually is.

But I'm gonna use it from here on out.

- Do you wanna hear what is my go to?

When people ask me I'll tell 'em my name is Tig

and then they say, oh, is that short for Tigger?

And then I say,

no, it's long for Ti.

(laughs)

- That's brilliant.

And that's why you have your own show.

- Yes, yes it is.

- All right, well Melisten up,

Joan of Arc was a teenage witch, so take this to heart

because I don't want to explain it again.

Boom.

- Melissa Joan Hart. - There you go!

- I've heard of you.

(audience applauds)

I figured it out, I figured it out!

- Now I wanna ask Alexa, who's Melissa Joan Hart?

- [Alexa] Melissa Joan Hart is an American actress.

She had starring roles as the titular characters

in the sitcoms Clarissa Explains It All,

Sabrina the Teenage Witch, and Melissa and Joey.

- And soon to be No Good Nick on Netflix

but we'll talk about that next time.

- Congrats on your new show.

- Yeah, well here, I'm gonna leave you with my pussy.

(audience laughs and applauds)

- Thanks so much for being here.

- Thank you, it was really fun, that was fun.

- Take that back.

- You don't want it? - No.

(cat meows)