Original subtitles

Say anything!

Help!

Help!

Selena, have you seen Turbo?

Selina, have you packed him?

For God's sake, I'm looking for it.

Can't have lost him.

For the weekend to go away, you choose the one before we're moving house.

We've already been through this, Selina.

OK. Just so I can get this straight, you are going to drive 150 miles to see a

bloke that hasn't contacted you in over ten years?

It's not a bloke, it's Timmy.

OK, well, whatever his big secret is, could he not have just told you on the

phone like a normal person?

Sounds like he's been having a rough time.

So have you, Danny.

Help what?

Spend some time apart.

You know what, Danny?

You take all the time you need.

Don't fall down a mountain or get murdered.

Love you!

Are you both okay?

Yeah, we're fine.

I don't understand some people. They're just idiots.

They're all the same.

Sure you're okay? Yeah, we'll be alright.

Till the next time.

Well, be safe.

Hello? Oh.

Sorry. Oh my god, sorry.

I didn't realise anyone was in here. You lost?

Yeah, I guess. Is this the... Girl's dorm.

Yeah. Sorry.

Are you hiking this weekend?

Yeah, I'm supposed to be meeting some friends, but they haven't arrived yet.

I'm meant to be here with my fiancé, but... Long story.

Danny. Erin.

Well, I'll go find the boys dorm.

The mixed.

Exciting.

I'm sorry. Do it again.

Oh, yes.

Does he just lick my space radars?

Yeah, I think so.

Little shit.

It's quite a big shit, actually.

Sign here.

£500 charge if you lose that.

£500? Make sure that door stays locked.

Right, I will.

Dorms are that way.

Thanks. Oh, do you have any Wi-Fi? No.

Hey, Hugo.

Hey, what are you up to this weekend?

Oh, not a lot, just packing.

Did Danny go to his thing in the end?

His reunion thing?

Yep, yes, he did.

Why, for something?

I know.

Well, if you are bored and you want to, I don't know, just chat or we could do

some work or something. Just let me know, yeah?

Okay. Thanks, Hugo.

Anytime. Catch you in a bit, yeah?

Oh, shit.

Not again.

Sorry, I didn't know anyone was in here.

Hi.

Okay.

Dan Dada.

Dandelino.

Seeing is believing. You made it.

Is Timmy here?

I haven't seen anyone yet.

I can't get through to him on the phone or anything.

Sounds like Timmy. Do you have any idea what this is about and why we're here? I

was hoping you'd tell me that.

So, how are you and Selina anyway?

I didn't know you drove a van.

I don't.

Usually.

Artillery firing, coming!

Take over!

You bell-end.

Danny. Caddy. You good?

Yeah, I'm all right.

I've lost an each of them off.

Shall we get a pint?

Same old caddy.

I should only have one, really, actually.

What would you like then?

I just have a... Bollocks to this. I ain't wearing that.

Well, you reckon Timmy's patient zero and that's what the big secret is?

Out of all of us, he's definitely the one that would chow down on a bat.

Come on, you pair of lightweights, get it down, yeah?

I'll get it next round and same again, yeah?

Yeah, all right. Can't we enjoy a beer, fucking hell?

Oh, you know what Caddy's like?

Is that someone under the bridge?

Yeah.

Freaky fucker, though.

Before you cross the bridge to Elles, you have to make a sacrifice to

Cuthrell.

The bridge outside?

Yeah.

Right. Did you not make a sacrifice before you crossed the bridge?

What kind of sacrifice?

Your soul.

Drink? No, my friend's got us covered.

Thrill.

Hey guys, it's been a while.

There's no luxury spa for me in this video because I'm staying in a hostel.

Yes, you did hear that correctly.

If you thought Covid was bad, check this out.

Wish me luck.

You know, I'm actually a bit nervous. Are you?

It's been a long time. Look.

You look so young.

Well, my mum's got Saffy this weekend and the restaurant's closed for a

refurb, so I'm going to make the most of this.

Come on.

Let's hit the pub.

Ready?

Ready.

Let's do this.

You know, there'll be plenty more coming. Yeah.

Erin.

Sonny. Hi.

Can I get you a drink?

Good, thank you. I don't drink, actually.

Obviously, other than water, else I'd die, but... OK.

What can I get for you, love?

Um, we're fine, thanks.

Something for the wife?

No, she's not my wife.

Dirty weekend?

No.

Just some water, please.

Blimey. Cheap date you pair, ain't ya?

So, um, where you from?

London. And you?

Well, I was born in Scotland, my mother's French, my father's Hawaiian,

and I live in Oxford.

Sorry. Full disclosure.

Enjoy your waters.

Don't worry.

Your secret's safe with me.

excuse me i've just got to go and see if i can get some phone reception good luck

with that

Guys, look who I found loitering outside.

Hiya! Chrissie!

How are you doing? You made it. Yeah, good, Sian. How are you? Good to see

you. Oh, we shouldn't hug. I bloody knew you'd like a junior.

Yeah, you are.

The caveat's obligatory, isn't it?

Phoebe,

you look good.

Sian didn't tell me that you were coming.

Well, surprise!

And look at you all. None of you have changed one bit. Any of you.

I don't know about that.

You look in great shape, Danny.

Can't be easy with kids.

Excuse me.

I just need to go to the toilet.

What did I say?

Honest mistake, Evie. Don't worry.

What do you mean?

Oh, did you see Dristin's filming around here?

You still talk to him?

He comes into the restaurant sometimes with Ewan McGregor.

Bloody hell. I did tell him we were meeting for the weekend, but actually

I'm not sure he can make it, to be honest. I think he might be too busy.

Too busy to rub shoulders with the likes of us, you mean?

Oh, speak of the devil.

Timmy with yet more mysterious text messages.

Have you all got signal?

Yeah, two guys, mate.

Kelly, what do these mean?

It's OS coordinates for the GPS map.

Blimey, I feel like I'm in the Flipping Goonies.

There you go.

Looks like he wants to meet us at Black Hill tomorrow.

Well, well, well.

The plot thickens.

The place is supposed to be cursed.

The hills have a high.

Oh, don't, Caddy.

I do hope he hasn't taken up Satan-worshipping and all.

You'll be surprised by Timmy.

You must be thirsty

There you are!

Guys, I need to do this video quickly.

So, this is my luxury accommodation for the weekend.

What do you think, guys?

Nice. Nightcap?

Yes, please.

Go on in.

Has anyone seen a blood socket anywhere?

Try under your bed.

This reminds me of drama camp. Do you remember that? Oh, my God.

Put on your walking boots.

We're going round Jericho. Left, right, left, right, left, right, left. Right,

left, right, left, right, left, right, left.

Do you mind if I just get some sleep? I'm still a bit jet lagged.

What's that?

What?

There's something outside.

What is it? Could be an owl.

Owl?

Weirdest fucking owl I've ever seen.

You got what you need there, mate?

I have some jacket.

It's so warm, isn't it? I was actually given it by one of my sponsors when I

was creating content in the fjords.

Yeah, it's beautiful there.

Have you ever... Think

I'm gonna brush my tuggies.

Right. Early start tomorrow, guys. Bring that light out for me, cats.

Night-night, children.

Night, caddy.

See you.

Great.

Hey, mate.

Have you got any phone reception here?

What happened to Owlman?

Owlman? Yeah, you know.

Weirdy beady guy. Looks like an owl that's flown into a window.

He fucked up well before I got up and I was a pro 500.

Hoorah.

Well, Chrissie, can you take a picture, please?

Sure. Whereabouts? Just over there?

Shit. Are you all right, mate?

I can't find any signal. I need to text Selina.

You got a problem, dickhead?

No. Sorry. Turn around then, you prick.

Excuse me.

Your word, knobhead.

Did you throw a milkshake at a horse yesterday?

Why don't you all just piss off back home, yeah?

Yeah, it was you. I saw you driving off.

Were you like deaf or something?

I don't know what you're talking about, mate.

Yeah, so fuck off, you cunt.

You think I'm scared of you, you fucking wanker.

How about we all take a chill go, eh?

Yeah. You want a slap?

Listen, why don't you go and do something productive with your lives?

Who's this bowtie then?

It's your boyfriend or something.

Right, kids, you've had your fun. Now it's time for you to jog on.

That was a good little boy.

Yeah.

Go on, babe.

Let's go.

Britain is bouncing back with bars and restaurants starting to fill up.

But what are you most looking forward to now lockdown has been lifted?

We'd love to hear your thoughts, so text in... Have you been to Chris's

restaurant, guys? It's amazing.

You're welcome, any time.

Thanks. Take you off on that.

Oh, my God, that is beautiful, isn't it?

Did an online foraging course during lockdown.

I foraged in Greg's skip once.

Bad days, that was.

Shut up, Caddy.

So are there lots of edible mushrooms around here?

Apparently there's loads.

I did a bit of research before I came.

Yeah. Keep your eyes peeled because morels go for over a grand a kilo.

You're kidding, aren't you? Look at that. Yeah.

Mushrooms are fucking disgusting.

Nice sauteed with a bit of butter, though.

On some sourdough bread. Mmm.

They're garlic.

And pepper.

Is that those fucking yobbs again?

I think that's... ..Ram Richards.

Radio off.

How you doing?

How are you?

Do you really think I'd miss this?

How's it going, guys?

Seeing. Doing well?

Hollywood. Good to see you, mate. How's it going?

So where's Timmy?

We're meeting him up there.

Okay, nice.

Oh, everyone, this is Price.

Come on, don't be shy.

Say hello, Pricey.

Hey.

Hi, Price.

Price is helping me with a bit of a project.

Oh, sounds exciting.

So what kind of project?

Well, it's top secret.

Shall we?

I swear I know that guy, man.

Ram fucking Richards.

Captain Star Trap.

That guy's rich, bro.

Feels like we've never been apart, guys.

Actors Workshop crew, ride or die, motherfuckers! Pew, pew, pew!

Such a shame that it had to close down.

I miss the workshop.

You're still performing, aren't you, Sam?

No, not since class.

Man, you should totally get back into it. You were good.

I don't think so.

Oh, Hollywood.

Can you abort Margot Robbie with you? No offence, pal.

I'm taking.

One more shrimp, Chris.

Make anything with these?

Well, there's a few around my area, so I don't think I'll bother.

Look at that grin.

Must be the new fella.

Certainly keen.

Okay, press record.

Ready? And action.

So, after surviving my first night, I'm on top of the world!

How was that?

Marvellous.

Thank you.

X marks the spot.

Still no Timmy.

Oh, my God, is that a sheep skull? Oh, that's gross.

There's something carved in it. It's like a star thing. Pentagram, pentagram.

Well, Bryce is your man for the local legends.

The famed fable of Jack the Wizard and the Devil's Bridge.

No, I'm all right, Hollywood.

Sorry, do you mind not taking any pictures, please?

I wasn't filming round.

Right, it's OK, Izzy. I know. Look, actually, guys, I don't mean to sound

like a tosser. If you've quite finished, do you mind popping your phones in here

for me, please?

What? Hey.

I need my phone.

Thank you, Chrissie.

There's Tim.

Bloody hell.

He's put the coordinates in wrong.

Guys, come on. They'll be safe in here with me. I promise.

Yeah, my agent would be kind of pissed if she knew I was here. We just need to

protect Ram from any unwanted publicity.

I'm sure you understand.

Can't get any signal anyway.

Thanks, Mum.

Not a chance.

Just no selfies, please. I love you guys.

You reckon that really was the guy from that dog film?

Fuck's sake, dude.

You twats are proper fucking boring.

I've got threesome legs.

Fucking you'd be like fucking a primary school kid.

We should follow him.

Yeah, man.

And rub all his shit.

Yeah.

And I might get a selfie too.

It was a bit grim, wasn't it? Yeah, very.

Oh, my God, Bram Richards.

Bram Richards?

Bram Richards?

Captain Stalmack? Social distancing, please.

Bram, I've watched all your movies.

Got them all on DVD and Blu-ray. Can we just ask no social media, please? Oh, my

God, Chosen Child.

That bit where your son's dying in your arms.

I was in bits.

My husband, well, he's my ex-husband now, was like, Tasha, daft cow, what are

you crying for? And I was like, shut up, Keith, this babby's dead.

And he was like, it's just a bloody film, Tash. And I was like, I know it's

a bloody film, but it's bloody sad, isn't it?

We're going to go now. Can I have that?

No.

My favourite, though. My favourite, though.

It's got to be Power Pups.

Bloody love that film.

You can tell a lot about a man by the way he treats his dog.

OK, ladies, thank you. Yeah, we've got to go now. Just a polite reminder, no

social media, please. Sorry, sorry, me walking on. Thank you. I'll let you go

with your little walk, Ram Richards.

Bye, Ram Richards!

Stop, stop now. Oh, my God.

Hey!

Good one.

Is she still fucking tailing us?

I've had a lot worse than that, mate.

There was this one woman who used to do portraits of me using her own menstrual

fluid. Wow.

The most recent one's been sending things through to Ram's agent. I can't

quite say how we know, but we're pretty sure... We're pretty sure they've got

ginger pubes.

Oh, my God.

Why do you think I'm leaving the States?

Don't worry, Captain Starbuck.

I'll look after this weekend.

Come on, double time.

Left, right, left, right, left, right, left, right, left, right, left, right,

left, right, left, right, left, right, left, right, come on!

Let's push it, come on!

Let's lose them!

Come on, she ain't gonna catch up, is she?

What are they? Wait up, guys!

You do know where you're going, right, Paddy?

Oh, you bellend.

Got the map the wrong way round.

Need to be heading up there.

That's mine.

What?

That's my bra.

It was given to me by one of my sponsors.

Okay, this isn't funny anymore.

Are you famous, mate?

You were in that dog film, weren't you?

Oi, pussy-o!

Oh, that film was proper shit, mate. Yeah, it's fucking white shit, you pussy

-claw, man.

Yo, is that watch real?

I said, why don't you lot just fuck off?

Touch me, bruv.

Fucking makers, Grandad.

We don't want any trouble, Brian.

These are our woods, yeah?

Yeah, our fucking woods.

It's all right.

We're leaving.

Oi, lanky twat, what's she talking to you about? Shut the fuck up! Back off,

kid.

Seriously, who do you even want now?

Kevin!

Oh my god, he's got a knife!

I've always wanted to say this.

That's a knife.

Past your bedtime, Kevin.

Now it, Keenan.

Watch your back, dickhead.

Why don't you lot just fuck off home, eh?

I'm worried about home alone. The tupper wanks at him.

Sorry, I'm not interrupting anything, am I?

Just avoiding packing, really.

Great. Chinese.

Getting prepared, look.

And chicken balls and chips, your favourite.

You know me too well.

I'm obviously too predictable.

Is it too early?

It's a no, then.

Oh, my God. That is beautiful.

Look at this.

I forgot my socks.

Oh, I did it. Yes, mate.

Whoa!

Whoa, Jesse!

Whoa!

Danny, look what I found scurrying around the bushes.

Oh, my God, look, it's Timmy.

Timmy!

All right, Timmy?

Hi, Timmy. About time.

Bit cold in there, Caddy.

About booking time, Timmy.

Before he went prison, my dad used to live on a farm just over that hill.

Beautiful air, isn't it?

So you're going to tell us what this is all about then?

What's with all the clues?

Did you have to burn my bra, Tim?

Right.

Where do we start?

Where do I start?

So my dad died about two months ago.

Oh shit, sorry mate.

Oh my god, Timmy, I'm so sorry.

Yeah man, that's awful.

Is that... I just... I needed to... Come

on, you lot, stop pissing around. Where are they?

I'm sorry, yeah.

Sorry. It's all right, it's all right.

There's no rush.

Yeah? I mean, we've only been waiting 12 hours, Danny, but... Yeah, well, it's

probably easier if I just show you. I can take you there now.

Put your phone in the box, please.

This is Price Winters. He's a personal friend of mine and an incredibly

talented screenwriter.

Guilty as charged.

Fucking kids of Nick McKex!

Oh,

Cuddy.

This place is a bit haunted for me.

Back when I was a kid, we came on holiday here.

Caravan trip.

I told my dad I got into drama school.

Dramas for puffs, he said.

Shit, man.

I got used to it, to be honest.

The only time I ever really felt safe or happy

was with you at a workshop.

Sodding kids.

Oh, Caddy.

Maybe we should call the police.

No, I'll find them. They're ferrets.

You rock it well, Cads.

Suits you.

Look at that view.

We should all do this again sometime.

Guys, it is good to be home.

So is Danny having a nice time?

I have no idea.

He's not been in touch.

He's obviously having too much fun.

Well, maybe we should do the same.

Here we go. After your glass.

Okay. Thank you.

Do you think we'll be able to tempt Tanya Tyrell to the dark side?

Yeah, I think we can definitely make her a tempting offer.

Well, in terms of publishers, we're a good fit, aren't we? Yeah, a tight fit.

A tight fit.

Interesting choice of words.

What have you got?

Sweet. It's a magic.

Really? Yeah. Magic mushroom?

Shit.

I haven't texted Selina. Can't get any bloody signal up here.

How is married life? You've got a kid, haven't you?

She's about a teenager by now.

My son would have been eight this October.

Man, I'm so sorry. It's all right.

We only found out when Sian told us.

If it was my Safi, I don't know what I'd do. I just... I'm so sorry.

Danny.

I don't know what happened, but...

You are a good man.

Oh, gosh, look at those. They're beautiful.

I fucking hate mushrooms.

That's dripping.

Oh, God, that's rank.

Howdy, cowboy.

Howdy, cowgirl. Hey, Erin, did you see some yubs go by here recently? Yeah, I

went past two guys and a girl in tracksuits.

Yeah, that's them.

Little bastards. You wait till I get hold of them.

So, where are you headed?

I'm just going to head back and grab a shower. Not smelling too fresh, so...

Yeah.

I mean, you don't smell.

Well, you smell great.

Guys, where are we heading?

That way.

How are things, then, with Danny?

Danny is just Danny.

Well, maybe it will do you some good, you know, having some time apart and you

can just think about what you really want.

You know, I'm always here.

Thanks, Hugo.

Cheers. Cheers.

Selina wanted us to do couples counselling.

My head wasn't in the right place for it, I don't think.

There's a lot of blame going around.

For what?

Well, I blamed her for not being able to swim. She blamed me for everything else.

OK, yeah.

Not being able to swim is kind of a deal-breaker.

Sorry, that must sound really weird.

Hungry?

Yeah, starving, actually.

Jeremy's caring.

Erm...

I'm clean, don't worry.

I don't know about that. The shower's definitely calling in.

Cheeky git.

There's a cute photo.

What was he like?

He was just the most amazing,

funny, just loving.

Little boy.

Sorry.

And there it goes.

What made you and Selina want to try counselling?

I... We lost our son.

In an accident.

God, Danny, that's... Hey, that's all right.

Shit happens.

I know, like, I will never be able to understand what you've been through.

I do know that you are a strong, talented,

beautiful woman.

My sister, Emmy.

She was a student, and it's ironic really.

Spent the majority of her medical degree in the hospital as a patient.

Shit. I'm sorry.

At least it wasn't a rat.

Once.

I locked myself in my car

in our garage.

Whose pipe coiled my...

I've got an electric car.

Keep smiling, Danny.

It's nearly ready, guys.

Smells delish. Where's Danny?

Back up there with that bird.

What are you making?

Wild mushroom risotto.

Friday's special.

I've got some special mushrooms here if anyone wants any.

I fucking hate mushrooms.

Well, pick them out then, Caddy.

Well, if anyone wants any, I'm just going to place them just over here,

just in case anybody changes their mind.

That's what it's about.

I want that fucking watch.

We're gonna get it, don't you worry.

I've got an idea.

Wait here.

Fuck you don't.

Danny!

Where's your lady friend, man?

I need my phone, please.

Yeah, it's just that we all agreed that we weren't going to be using a phone.

Seriously, I'm getting sick of this shit. Give him his bloody phone back,

it's getting ridiculous.

I know you're used to calling all the shots Dristin, but I'm sorry, we're not

in Hollywood now.

All right, love, calm down. Piss off!

And I'm not your love, so don't tell me to calm down.

What's going on?

Is everything all right?

I don't give a shit who you are.

Just give him his fucking phone back. Guys, we're not trying to be awkward.

Now! Listen, Evie, we're not trying to upset anyone, okay? Do not fuck with me.

What the fuck are they doing?

Just give it some time.

No, you fucking didn't.

So how's your grandma doing?

She is in hospital.

When's the scan?

Franco?

Franco?

I said... Franco?

Yeah,

well, let me know what they say, okay?

I miss you, amore. Oh, I miss talking to you too.

I'm excited to be with you. I know, I'm so excited to see you.

I want you so badly.

Oh, that's hot, babe. I need you to send me a wife, Chrissy.

Sorry, you need what? To send me a wire, Chris.

What do you need? Franco?

Franco? Do you mind?

Yeah, okay, just, just, just, yeah.

Alright.

We did it.

Thanks, Chrissie. It looks lovely.

Cheers. This looks amazing.

Oh, thanks, Wallypie. Yes, here is where I'm going to get my massage later.

Yes, I hope there's a happy ending too.

So, come on, Timmy.

What is it you're going to show us?

Oh, well, now that we're all here... Say hello, Price.

Hey, Evie and your lovely followers.

I don't mean to be difficult, but why don't we put our phones away?

And enjoy this wonderful countryside.

Oh, Pixie Luceven, don't be mean. I quite like his hair like that.

I'm not telling him that.

Oh, for fuck's sake.

You know what?

Whatever.

Thank you.

I know. How about a little game of spin the bottle?

Caddy, we're not 15 anymore.

Okay, truth or dare then?

Okay, truth.

Timmy, can you explain what the fuck's going on?

So, here it goes.

So, the actors' workshop closed down when the studio burned down.

They reckon it were druggies. That was so awful.

Go on, Timmy.

I broke in.

And then...

I torched it.

What?

My mum was in hospital.

My dad was in prison again. I was angry.

I needed money.

You all could have been something.

You all could have had a crazy life. Ram, especially you, Zian.

I'm sorry I messed it all up.

I'm sorry I couldn't confess it until now.

I completely understand if you can't forgive me.

Well, I appreciate you telling us.

Yeah.

We all make mistakes.

I mean, it's a pretty huge fucking mistake.

But it's all good, mate.

Yeah.

What if they give you ten?

Couldn't you have told us all this on FaceTime?

That's what I've been trying to tell you.

I think my dad buried something in these woods.

So we are like the Goonies.

Hey, you guys!

Seriously, I'm not joking.

It's okay, Timmy. I believe you.

If you'd just let me finish my risotto, I'll go help you do.

Okay, then.

Well, well, well.

Timmy the little outlaw.

I guess I'm just a chip off the old bar.

Okay, truth.

Evil.

Who's the better kisser?

Cabby or Sian?

I never kissed Sian. Don't lie.

Okay, whose turn is it next?

Dristin? I've got it.

Let's do a past life regression.

Can you really regress us?

Let's find out, shall we?

Sounds amazing.

Sounds like a load of bollocks.

What the fuck are they doing?

Trying to listen, you moron.

Now that you're all sitting nice and relaxed, slowly breathe in to the count

of four.

Slowly breathe out to the count of five.

With each breath, you drift deeper and deeper.

Breathe in.

With each breath, as you listen to my voice, you drift deeper and deeper.

Now picture roots growing from the soles of your feet.

For this is a magic forest where many miraculous

matters may materialize.

peeking out through the trees as your spirit guide.

Follow it wherever it may lead you.

Now you see a doorway in the center of a tree.

You open it and go down the stairs.

Down, down,

down.

There is nothing to be afraid of.

You now find yourself

in a different time, in a different place.

What can you hear?

As you listen to my voice, you can travel through time and space back to

the present.

On the count of ten, I'll bring you back.

Ten. Nine.

Ten. Seven.

Six.

Whenever you are ready, you may open your eyes.

That was fucking mental.

Did fuck all for me.

That was weird.

Thanks for sharing, Danny.

Anyone else?

There's someone in the woods.

Feels real, right?

I feel like I need a pint.

Evie, did you hear that?

I feel really good.

Yeah.

So do I.

Fuck this.

fucking it please guys maybe we should all stick together it's

okay chrissy bryce will keep an eye on him yeah i got you

that's all right chrissy i'll go get him i

feel strange

Oh shit.

Hey!

Guys, I think we have a problem.

Houston, we have a problem.

I got 99 problems, but a bitch ain't one.

Guys, I think we might be high.

Oh, God.

Caddy, stop messing about.

Did you see it?

Anyone, did you see?

Bush! Now, Chrissie, don't panic, but I think we might be

tripping. What?

These are legs.

Yeah, they are, Chrissie. You got two of them.

Come on, Price.

Let's go find Danny and Gabby.

Oh, man, I didn't sign up for this. No, but it's a pretty cool plot twist, eh?

Guys, these are my legs.

Look at my legs. Isn't this incredible?

Yeah, let's get them going. Left, right, left, right.

Who's going to help me dig?

Do you know the story of Jack the Wizard and the Devil's Bridge?

Jack begged the Devil to build a bridge from the land of the Angles to the

kingdom of the Celts, but the Devil apprised.

If I build you this bridge, then you must sacrifice unto me the first

soul that crosses, for I am.

Jack was a clever man, and he threw a bone across the bridge, and his dog went

to get it.

Not quite the soul the demon was looking for.

And that made the cuthral mad. And she devoured Jack's soul, too. Forever

entombing it in the bridge's stove.

Forever.

Poor doggy.

Are you lost?

It's okay.

It's okay.

Can't hide from me. I'll find you.

Come here, little crow. I'll show you.

Wait.

Please.

Let's not. Please.

Where did you bury it, you old bastard?

You know Timmy's birthday?

We must have been like 17 or something.

Why didn't you kiss me?

You're going way back there.

Don't cry. I'm not crying.

I don't cry.

Ciao, Cristina. It's Franco.

Listen, my nonna's medicine would now cost $42,000.

Please. I'm desperate.

I can borrow.

Per favore. He sent my bank again.

Just... stop.

You ungrateful little shit.

Hey.

Hey, Price.

You alright?

Yeah.

Yeah, I'm fine.

What are you looking for, soft lad?

Where did you get that?

Give it here.

No.

What did you just say?

I said no.

What did you say?

You don't get to hurt me anymore.

Never again.

Well, well, well.

Look what the little boy's grown into, eh?

Fuck you.

That's my boy.

I had feelings for someone else.

Who?

Caddy.

It was Caddy.

Did you ever tell him?

You know that voice in your head?

Geoff, I wish you'd just shut up.

You two at it again!

It's a fucking history. We're beating ourselves to it.

Randy, what happened to your head? Forget your head.

I joined the fucking world because of you!

You're a fucking liar and all!

Let it open!

Caddy.

Caddy, wake up.

Caddy! Wake up!

Caddy!

Caddy, wake up! Caddy!

I was getting knocked out more often.

Guys, guys, we're found here.

What the fuck, Timmy?

You look like you've seen a ghost.

Stay with me.

Come on. Okay.

Stay right here.

You're okay. You're okay.

Stay with me. Stay with me. Okay.

Okay. You're okay. He's okay.

Okay. Okay. Calm down, Selena.

Calm down. I've got him. I've got him.

Go and get your phone.

Go and get your phone. Call the ambulance.

Selina!

Ambulance!

Breathe. Breathe.

Please.

You come back to me.

Why did you leave me?

No, no, stay!

Don't leave me, please!

Don't leave!

Just makes you realize how small we are, doesn't it?

Just starlight harvesting star matter.

Amen, brother.

Wow.

No, no, no, no, it was here. I swear it was here. If you say so, Timmy.

I'm telling the truth, honestly.

Look, Timmy, I think you brought us all out here. You spiked us with mushrooms

and now...

Can we just leave this person?

Guys.

I need the toilet.

Oh shit.

The number two?

Uh-huh.

Don't go far.

Stay where we can hear you. Don't be gross. I'm not letting you listen.

Oi, oi.

Caught your pants down, eh, love? Get the fuck away from me.

You know, you're actually kind of fucking fit, you know.

What the fuck are you doing, Caelan?

Shut up.

Fuck off.

I think me and you are going to have some fun, darling.

What the fuck was that? What the fuck?

Come on!

Evie, what the fuck?

What time is it? It's about midnight.

Do you think we should... Yeah, probably.

Yeah, we probably should.

Probably should what?

Did you just hear that?

Caddy, be careful.

Hi, guys. Sweet baby Jesus.

Isn't the sky incredible tonight?

Danny, you're soaking.

And I'm alive.

Wait. Chrissie?

There's blood.

What? Chrissie?

Danny, get your phone.

Price has got it!

What are we doing? Chrissie!

Stop!

And cut!

Is that Al, then?

Hello.

Am I still high?

So, guys, this is Geoff.

That's my fucking knife.

Rhyme, explain yourself now.

I like no gloves.

Sorry. He's an actor.

Like you guys.

Rather trained, actually.

We asked Geoff to do a little bit of role play for us this weekend. For our

project. So we could get a bit of footage.

Where did we meet again, Geoff?

Amsterdam, smoking a pancake.

Geoff, you are an artiste. I just made that up.

It's pretty good, actually. Thank you.

You branched me, you motherfucker.

Oh, so my character's name is Cuthrail.

Cuthrail. Cuthrail.

And no, I'd never do that. Not without a stunt coordinator present, darlings.

I'm a lion.

Little bastard. You wait till I get hold of him. I did alert the local

authorities and they have been detained.

Apparently they're rather notorious around these parts. You paid...

Whatever his name is. Jeff.

Just get a living shit out of us. Just so you can research your film.

Say cheese.

You won't say cheese!

We weren't exactly expecting everyone to be off the heads of fucking mushrooms,

were we?

Works as a plot twist though, right? Yeah, it totally does.

Chrissie, did you know about this from the start?

No, I only found out five minutes ago.

I just...

I thought it'd be fun to play dad when you rocked up. Chrissie, you were

magnificent. Bravo, bravo.

Oh, Timmy found his treasure.

No way.

Go, Timmy.

I was hoping to donate it to charity, you know, to help kids like me.

I think that's a great idea to me.

Let me know if there's anything I can do to help.

Yeah, am I?

Thanks, I will.

Drinks on Timmy.

Bryce, shall we?

It's time for the singers to sing.

It's time for the filmmakers to do their thing.

It's time for the fathers to have more sons and daughters.

Put on your walking boots,

we're going round Jericho.

It's time for the people to move,

we're going round Jericho.

We've got something to prove,

we're going round Jericho. Left, right, left, right, left, right, left, right,

left, right. We're going round Jericho.

It's our time.

It's our turn.

There's things that we've learned.

A new wave is coming.

A new wave is coming.

The tide is turning.

It's our time.

You're glad you came.

Of course I am, darling. Of course I am.

Hey, Danny!

What happened to you guys last night?

Long story. This is Alfie, my fiancé. Oh, mate. How's it going?

Good, actually. Yeah, good.

Oh, congratulations on your engagement.

Thank you.

Nice to meet you. Oh, excuse me.

I just need to take this.

Got a good one there.

Yeah, it's nice. I like it.

It's not for me.

No, of course not.

Has anyone seen a plug socket anywhere?

Do you mind?

Of course.

It's for my wife. Yeah, yeah.

Pleasure to meet you. Thank you.

I can't even be arsed.

Did you get through to Franco?

Yeah.

And are you excited about the first big meetup? Hey Chrissie. Hey.

Mind if I sit here?

Feel free.

I think I might take a rain check.

Thanks Pricey Weisy.

You're welcome.

Cheers. Cheers.

I'll be out of your gaff by the end of the month.

Thank you though.

I appreciate it.

Sorry?

I love you, man.

You're a big guy.

You know I am actually gay, right?

Love you, brother.

Love you too.

Thank you.

Cheers to that.

Cheers.

Go team!

Go team. Go team.

To fame. To fame.

And fortune.

And fortune. Cheers, everyone.

Guys, can I just say how much we appreciate everything you did for us

last night?

And we've been talking. See an owl as Jack the Wizard.

I think I'm going to need more than a part in your movie to forgive what you

did to us last night.

Yeah, fair enough.

How much footage did you get last night, Geoffrey?

Wanna see?

Yes!

What the fuck?

Budget with you lot?

Yeah, just forward this bit. That's got to be illegal.

Your right hook's deadly, mate.

Nathan. God, look at this guy, he's amazing.

Kevin!

I love that. I love that.

Delete that now.

Nice bit of blinson.

Look at that snack release.

Don't even think about it.

So this is a famous Devil's Bridge, is it?

I found something.

Say goodbye.

Did you paint the sharks as blue?

His name may be Tristan, but it's Ram to me.

Whey, blow the ram down.

Exchange knots for the U.S. of A.

Whey, blow the ram down.

Blow the ram down, boy, blow the ram down.

Pull down his pants and blow the ram down.

We're singers and actors, filmmakers and all.

Whey!

It's time for the lions to roar, roar It's time

for the weak to be strong, strong It's time for the

dancers to dance Put on your walking

boots We're going round Jericho

All the singers to sing, sing.

It's time for the filmmakers to do their thing.

It's time for the fathers to have more sons and daughters.

Put on your walking boots.

We're going round Jericho.

It's time for the people to move.

We're going round Jericho.

We've got something to prove We're going around cherry-coated