Original subtitles

Previously, on Eternally Yours.

So that we can be together forever, until the end of time.

Charles bites Liz's neck.

His marriage is literally never-ending.

You see, this is why I only marry humans.

You have fun till they croak, and then you get a new model. How's that working

out for you? People are living a little longer than they did back in the day.

Love you. I love you more.

Well, something is very weird. You've been together two months, she's never

let you come to her house? My family, we're just...

Different. I'll understand, I promise.

Charles and Liz bare their fangs at Max.

Max?

These are my parents.

I don't want you dating a human. You are being so unfair.

How come he gets all the good traits? We're twins.

I mean, I'm half vampire too.

Hey, we are working on developing some of your powers.

Come on, come on, move, damn it. Come on, Nora, let's go.

A marble bust flies through the air, hitting Max.

Max? Are you okay, Max?

What if we turn him into a vampire?

I think that would fix this. He might pull through.

Charles?

Charles bites Max's neck.

His eyes open.

Max?

Max stirs in a bunk bed. Max?

Hey, sleepyhead.

Emma?

Where am I?

You're at my house.

Um, Max, what do you remember from yesterday?

Ah, I remember I...

Found out that vampires are real and that you and your whole family are

vampires, which was a lot to process.

Uh-huh. There's still a bit more to process.

Do you remember the accident?

There was an accident?

Don't worry. It's not uncommon after trauma for there to be some memory loss

around the event.

Speaking as a medical professional.

I mean, you're a vet.

No. You remember Mort? He's one of the twin sons of the other family in the

coven. What's up?

Hey.

Um, I'm sorry. What accident? What happened?

Yeah, okay. So you were accidentally hit in the head with a marble bust.

My bad.

Haven't quite mastered the telekinesis thing yet. Yeah, we actually didn't know

if you were going to make it. So, to save you, my dad bit you and now you're

a vampire.

Excuse me?

Yeah.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You're undead, dude. It really sucks.

Not now, Mort. Get it?

Sucks. Because you're a vampire?

Max sits up, hitting his head on the top bunk. Damn it, Mort.

We're gonna have to tell Ma that again, aren't we?

A title appears.

Eternally yours.

In the kitchen. So then I told him again. And this time he didn't scream,

he just stared off. Went catatonic. It was creepy.

Well, it's a big change.

Honestly, for both of us. I'm crazy about Max.

But we've been together six weeks, and now Dad turns him into a vampire?

At your mother's request.

He was going to die, Charles.

It's all just so zero to 60.

I mean, moving in, it's a lot of pressure to put on a new relationship.

Well, that's the rules.

He's got to join our coven. We broke him, we bought him.

In a way, we're all broken.

My boy.

Deep. Hey, everyone. Good morning.

Hello, Charles. Nice robe.

Looks soft.

Max, you seem...

Oddly good.

Oh, because the whole me being a vampire thing?

Yeah. Yeah, well, I was sitting up there staring at the wall, and a thought

occurred to me, and I was like, what if I am not a vampire?

Excuse me?

Which I don't feel any different than I did yesterday.

And, like, I'm looking at these glasses of blood, which probably seem delicious

to all of you, but to me, as a non-vampire, it kind of makes me want to

vomit. Yo, slow your roll.

This is Primo Steve, man. Steve is the name of the guy from Craigslist who

sells us his own blood.

We think it's his own.

Sweetie, your skull was caved in and healed in 12 hours.

Well, I am sort of a quick healer.

I take a daily calcium chew. For God's sake, you were bitten by a vampire and

you turned into a vampire. Why is that so hard to understand?

Just hear me out.

Wear the fangs. Because I've spent the last five minutes concentrating as hard

as I could, and I've got nothing.

You know, the fangs and the powers, those all can take some time to develop.

Okay, but isn't it possible that when Charles bit me, he gave me enough

vampire venom to heal me, but not enough to turn me into an actual vampire? Well,

I mean, I guess it's possible, but... Aha!

Booyah! Babe, didn't we decide after Scrabble that you're not a booyah guy?

For sure, my man.

Oh, my God, what time is it? I have to get to work.

What? Wait. No, no, no, no. No, you're not going anywhere.

But I... Despite your desperate protestations, you are a baby vampire.

And you have no idea how to be out among the living yet. There's a lot you don't

understand, Max. And until you're really familiar with how this all works... Yes,

you could be exposed, which directly endangers us.

And now you are staying here until further notice. Do you understand me?

Okay, Max. Just humor my dad until we figure out what's really going on.

Please?

Fine.

I love you, Barry. Damn it! Yes, you are!

Charles flings a microwave with his mind.

Charles! Calm down. We don't even eat.

Well, my wife does, and she doesn't know we're vampires.

What? Oh, boy. My bad.

Phyllis? You didn't hear anything.

Oh, hey, guys.

What happened to the microwave?

In Charles and Liz's bedroom.

Ugh. I can't believe we're stuck with this guy. Well, he's here, so let's try

to make the best of it.

Who knows?

Maybe you and Max could become friends.

I've got enough friends, thank you.

But do you?

What's that supposed to mean?

It's just you don't really hang out with anyone besides me.

I have friends.

What about Nathaniel? The candle maker?

Charles, he died 200 years ago.

Really?

God, I knew it had been a minute.

Look, men often struggle with maintaining friendships after marriage.

They get rusty.

And you've been married for 500 years. That's a lot of rust.

For your information, I have a friend at work.

Who?

Eric. Okay, I've never heard you mention his name before.

Be that as it may, he is my friend. He's my good friend. In fact, he and I are

having lunch today.

After I ask him, which I will do.

In the bathroom.

I don't know why I do this. It's pointless.

A mirror's reflection only shows Charles' suit.

So, while technically I have been assigned to keep you here, I don't want

you to feel like, you know, my prisoner.

We're just two dudes hanging out. But if I try to leave? I will hunt you down and

put you in a cage in the basement.

Oh. So, what are we thinking?

Sports center?

Excuse me.

Max answers his phone.

Hey, Benji.

Where the hell are you? We have our presentation in 30 minutes. Crap. Is

that today? What do you mean, is that today?

Max, all the department heads are going to be there. This is a huge deal.

Shoot. Uh, yeah, that's going to be a little tricky. I'm sort of under the

weather.

Who's on the phone? Who's that guy? Where are you? Uh, it's just a guy that

lives at Emma's house. Your girlfriend lives with a guy?

Wait, I thought you weren't feeling well.

What is going on?

Uh, I should go.

No, no, Max, Max. I need you. I just clicked the PowerPoint. You're the

talker. Max?

Is everything all right?

Yeah. Yeah, that was just my friend, Benji. Is he a werewolf?

I don't think so.

Okay, well, you should ask him.

Legally, he has to tell you if he is.

Can't be too careful, BV.

Baby vampire.

I don't know, I'm just trying it out.

No, yeah, yeah, it's very clever.

Speaking of which, I actually think I am getting a little, uh, peckish.

Yeah, for some blood.

Oh, hot damn!

It's kicking in!

Yeah, blood's in the fridge, bro. Have at it. Well, I don't know how to prepare

it. Oh, you literally just pour it, like, in a cup.

Well, I'm not up on the portion size yet.

I got you, bud.

Let me fix you up a nice tall glass of Steve.

Thanks.

Jesse walks out.

Max grabs his jacket and phone, then hurries toward the front door.

Yeah, man, so I do want to warn you ahead of time. We do still pee, okay,

but it will be pure red on account of the blood.

Jesse returns.

Max? He scans the living room.

Bro, if you got invisibility power, I am going to be beyond jealous.

Uh-oh.

In a break room.

Damn it.

What, is this copy machine made by Prussians?

Oh, Eric.

I know that laugh anywhere. Do you share a deep-seated hatred for the people of

Prussia? No, I just... It was funny the way you said it.

Well, as long as we're connecting, perhaps we take things to the next

level.

What does that mean?

Well, we could go to lunch. We could do Thai or Mexican.

Just not a Prussian place, I'll tell you that much.

Aren't there Prussian places?

Look at us batting it back and forth. The banter. Yeah, no, no, I'd love to,

but I brought my lunch from home today.

Charles knocks over a container of food with his mind. Oh, no.

That was insane. How did that even happen?

Totally insane.

So how about Mexican?

It's a wonderful cuisine, which I know as a person who eats food.

Max, I'm home.

Hey, listen, don't freak out. This is going to sound kind of bad, and that's

because it's kind of bad.

I lost Max. Are you serious?

What do you mean you lost Max?

I turned my back for like a second and he disappeared. Now I know what you're

thinking. Did he develop invisibility powers? I do not think so because of the

lack of audible talking.

Also, would invisibility power make his clothes disappear?

It's an interesting question.

Jesse, focus. Did you search the area? Did you even look for him? I was going

to. I was. But then Phyllis came back from the salon.

In a flashback.

Bang. The hair is looking fire.

Thanks. Is that a new sweater set?

Yeah, I got it 50% off at T.J. Maxx.

Get the hell over here.

Phyllis slides across the floor into his arms. The thing with the floor happened

again. We'll have to get it looked at.

Damn it, Jesse!

It's not my fault. She's aging like a fine wine.

This is not good.

Who knows what sort of trouble he could be getting into out there. He doesn't

know how to deal with any of it. Between the sun and the werewolves. We didn't

even tell him about the vampire hunters.

Ugh, I hate those guys. They're like obsessed with us. Get over it. Okay, we

need to find Max. We should split up.

I will call Charles. Yes, no, no, no, Liz, please. Can we not tell Charles

that I lost Max?

It's just, I don't need to be hearing about this for the next two centuries.

Yeah, I think it might be better if we deal with this ourselves. Dad already

hates Max enough.

Yeah, remember when I borrowed Charles' ascot for the 1893 Chicago World Fair

and then left it on the Ferris wheel?

Dude brought that up Monday.

Okay, Emma, think.

Where could Max be? Oh, you know what? Before he disappeared, he got a call

from a guy named Benji.

Benji, Benji, that's a friend from work. That must be where he is. All right,

let's go.

Yes, okay. Let me just run upstairs and tell Phyllis we're leaving. Give me 10,

15 minutes tops.

Jesse! Well, excuse me for modeling a healthy relationship.

You know, you two aren't even supposed to be home right now. This is our time.

In a conference room.

So our proposal is to optimize interdepartmental communication

pathways. Max's skin burns as sunlight streams through a window.

Oh, my God!

Am I excited about these feedback loops.

Does anyone smell smoke?

Please hold your questions till the end, Kathy.

So for the next slide, you'll see that implementation is split into three

phases.

Phase one...

A large group passes the doorway. Oh, my God.

Benji mouths, what are you doing?

Oh, sorry. Did somebody shut that door?

The door shuts itself.

Thank you.

Dave?

Where was I?

Phase one.

Yes, so for the first phase, we will... An executive rolls his head from side to

side.

We will... Max eyes his neck.

I'm gonna step out for a second.

Benji, can you take over?

Max, Max, Max, Max!

I,

uh, I just do the clicking.

But I am integral.

Oh, excuse me. Hi.

Would you mind formally inviting us in?

Oh, I don't work here.

You can still invite somebody in. It's not a big deal. Ma'am, please, come on.

Why are people so weird about this? This has got to be the dumbest part of being

a vampire.

Sir? Sir? Hey, dude. In the tie.

Nice kicks.

Do you mind if we come in?

Oh, hi.

Hello. In the office.

Oh, man, I could never have a corporate job.

I mean, look at this drone wasting away his short, pointless life. What?

Oh, sorry.

I meant to telepathy that to you guys. Hi.

We're looking for Max Marshall. I think he works on this floor. She is his

girlfriend. He doesn't need to know that.

We didn't hear anything.

Well, don't wipe him. Hi.

Can I help you? Yes. Hi. Again, we're looking for Max.

Um, he works on this floor. It's no concern of yours who she's dating.

Uh, okay.

Uh, well, Max is actually giving a presentation today. He's out at the

Tacoma office.

Tacoma? Okay. Thank you.

So he's at a different office?

Tacoma. It's like 45 minutes away.

It's too far to super speed. Why does it only work in cheetah-like short bursts?

It's just for catching prey. It's not for long-distance traveling. I hate to

say it, but your dad's office is right by there. Oh, God, he's not going to be

happy. Okay, maybe don't mention my role when Mac's getting out. Jesse.

It's going to be the Ascot incident all over again.

Charles and Eric share a table in a restaurant.

You're not getting anything?

No, I'm good.

Yeah, I've got a massive tapeworm, actually.

Oh, sorry.

The old ball and chain.

Liz? Yeah, could I call you back? I'm a little busy.

What do you mean he's gone?

Where is he?

In a bathroom, Max leans over a sink. He splashes water on his face.

This is not happening.

He faces the mirror, but finds no reflection of himself.

Max?

Are you okay?

Yeah, sorry. I just thought I wasn't feeling well. Dude, I am dying in there.

I can't, man.

You have any idea what I'm going through?

Benji struggles with a paper towel dispenser.

You should have brought extra t-shirts.

Cut myself in the dispenser.

His finger bleeds.

Max approaches, his open mouth exposing his fangs.

He lifts his clawed hands over Benji.

I might have to click left-handed. I didn't practice that.

Max?

Where'd he go?

Oh, my God.

Charles? What just happened?

I didn't hurt Benji, did I? No, and we shall discuss this no further here.

What is wrong with me?

It's my best friend.

I fell.

We fell.

She eyes Charles, pinning Max to the floor, then leaves.

At home.

We gave you one instruction to not leave the house. Was that so difficult to

follow? I didn't think I was really a vampire.

Jesse, you were supposed to be keeping an eye on him. How could you lose him?

This is the Ascot incident all over again. There it is. Look, I had

everything under control, but then Phyllis came waltzing in with this brand

new sweater set. I'm only human. You're literally not.

Okay, but I am a vampire, which we all know is one of the horniest undead

creatures out there.

Dad, gross.

No.

It's a beautiful thing to love so intensely.

Okay, it's no one else's fault, all right? I am the one who didn't listen,

okay? I made a dumb mistake, and I'm sorry.

I just didn't want to believe that this could really be happening, that

everything about my life was going to be different.

But now I know that it is. Oh, if only your words were enough.

Dad, he's apologizing. He's broken my trust.

His actions today could have led not only to the death of his friend, a

tragedy in and of itself, which I get as someone who has a friend named Eric who

loves barbacoa.

What's going on? Charles made a friend. We're very proud of him. But even worse

was his blatant disregard for our safety.

Because, you know, you risked not just exposing yourself, but this entire

coven. I didn't think that it would be such a... No, you didn't think, Max.

That's the problem.

You see, a coven is not just a living arrangement.

It's true, B.V.

You're part of something bigger than yourself now.

There's no I in coven.

Right? Yeah. Which is why Max could no longer be part of this coven.

What? What? He has to move out. Can't I just put him in the cage? Charles.

Max will not be safe on his own. Yeah, didn't you say something about

werewolves? Doesn't he have to stay with us? I mean, what happened to be broken

we bought him? The council only demands that we find him accommodation.

Therefore, I have put a call in to the Winnipeg coven, and they are willing to

take him. Provided I throw in six pints of Steve.

Dad, this is insane. Charles, Max showed very poor judgment, but to banish him

seems a bit cruel.

Yeah, I don't want to go to Winnipeg. No one wants to go to Winnipeg, but my mind

is made up.

Fine, Dad.

But if he goes, I go. Are you joking? Just this morning you were bemoaning

that things were moving too fast between you two.

What?

Well, yeah, this is fast.

And historically, I'm not the best when it comes to commitment. I freak out and

bail and I break hearts and ruin lives.

And sure, yeah, one time I burned down a city.

Oh, yes, Chicago.

We blamed that cow.

I'm sorry, is this going to get to a good part?

The point is...

I'm scared, but not so scared that I'm willing to give up on us.

So unless you're willing to lose me too, Dad, Max stays.

Emma takes Max's hand.

Fine! He can stay.

Yes! Thank you, Charles.

You won't regret this.

But if you want to be one of us, then you truly need to be one of us. Yeah.

Yeah, absolutely.

100%.

What does that mean? In the kitchen.

All right, Max.

It's time.

You got this, babe.

I mean, I guess I did swallow a lot of my own blood when I got my wisdom teeth

out. This is sort of like that. It's just another person's. Just shut up and

drink it. Okay.

Here we go.

Drink the blood.

Max drinks a glass of blood.

He wears a thoughtful expression.

Actually, not bad. It's kind of sweet.

Steve's the best.

Yeah.

His smile fades.

He drinks more.

Tilting his head back, he finishes the glass.

There you go.

Oh, hey, everyone.

What's going on?

Max is just trying V8 juice for the first time.

He likes it.

In Charles and Liz's bedroom. You know I meant what I said.

I am proud of you for putting yourself out there with Eric.

Uh-huh.

Charles, are you even listening?

Sorry. Uh, I'm just waiting for Eric to text me back.

After our lunch, I texted him to make sure he got home safely, of course.

Okay. Well, I'm sure he'll write back soon.

It's just, it's been a while.

But, uh, perhaps he did not receive it. I'm gonna text him again.

Charles, no.

We've been through this before.

In a flashback.

I'm telling you, just wait for Claude to raven you back.

How can I be sure that he got the first raven?

Charles, put the bird down.

You're right, you're right.

No, I don't want to pull the old double raven.

What was that?

Just an exclamation point to my earlier message.

It's technically not a new text.

Have I blown it? I've blown it. It's okay.