Original subtitles

(tense orchestral music)

Get up, get up!

Ha!

Get up!

(man shouting)

Get up now, get up, move along now, move along!

(man shouting)

Get up there, now!

Get up there, move along, move along!

(man shouting)

Whoa, whoa!

Welcome to Boulder, gents, welcome.

Here you are.

Poker chips compliments of Mayor Nard Lundy.

Just waltz right over to the El Dorado Saloon

and ante yourself into a fortune.

Remember to vote.

It's Nard Lundy's town, let's keep it that way.

Welcome to Boulder, sir.

Thank you, son.

Here you are.

Compliments of the mayor.

Now why should the mayor give me free poker chips?

Election time's coming in two weeks.

Just the mayor's way of making sure

you remember his name come voting time.

Vote?

I can't vote.

I don't even live here.

I just came here to see my daughter and her husband.

Good!

You've got family here.

That's just the same as a resident.

Now don't forget to vote.

It's Nard Lundy!

(upbeat piano music)

(gun firing)

(liquid splattering)

Just like I always figured.

Jeff Rose is full of pickle juice.

(laughing)

I'm Captain Oren Hayes, late of the Texas Rangers.

That man you just shot full of holes

happens to be my son-in-law.

You tell me where I can find his newspaper office?

Yeah, around the corner there to the right.

Papa!

Captain Hayes!

Sweetheart, Jeff.

What are you doing so far from Texas?

Why didn't you let us know you were coming?

Well, I thought I'd surprise you.

I haven't seen you since you were married.

I've been retired from the Rangers now for some years.

And you got lonesome.

Well, a man just can't quit.

Can't sit around and listen to your arteries harden.

I want some action, travel.

Helps starve the blood.

Well, we're real happy to see you.

And you stay as long as you please.

Thank you Jeff, thank you.

Say, looks like you've got quite a business going here.

But, uh, tell me something son,

what are whose wanted posters on you around town?

Oh, those aren't wanted posters, Papa.

Those are campaign posters.

Jeff is a candidate for mayor.

Well, the way they're shooting his picture full of holes,

I'd say you're not wanted.

Well, Mayor Lundy's a very clever opponent, Captain.

Owns most of this town

and runs it from his Helldorado Saloon.

Well, ha, ha, ha, Charlie, how are you?

You look wonderful?

Sheila, my dear, lovely as always. (laughs)

Well, how are you, Ed?

(bright, cheerful music)

Fellow come in on the stage a couple of minutes ago Mayor.

Old fellow.

Says he used to be with the Texas Rangers.

And Jeff Rose is his son-in-law.

Well, if he's old, he shouldn't worry you Clyde.

And if he doesn't live here, he can't vote for Jeff,

so he doesn't worry me.

Either of you seen this new edition of The Sentinel?

He's got your whole record in there.

Mine too.

Yours too, Clyde.

All the facts and figures, the dates, all the grafts,

the payoffs, all the illegal taxes.

Well, he says I ain't a proper judge.

He says I'm guilty of malfeasance, whatever that is.

It means you are a walking whiskey vat

and you bought your Justice of the Peace office years ago

from Charlie Reaves.

But I've still got my office.

Only because I keep you there.

Don't forget that, Your Honor.

Now why don't you just shut up, Amos?

You know, a smart man who's handy with words,

he's a tough opponent.

But when he starts to smear you with the truth,

he is deadly.

Yeah, yeah, but if this paper ever

gets to the Governor's office.

Get the boys altogether.

Round up every copy of this that's in circulation.

Buy them, steal them, take them, but get them.

Been telling you all along Nard,

you give that newspaper fellow too much room.

Now the old ways got things done right.

Oh, no, no, no, no, Clyde, I'm not the sort of man

to use force when gentle persuasion will serve.

Why don't you get your deputies together

and pay yourself a little call on Mr. Rose, mm?

You sure raked this Lundy over the coals.

Well, if it's a battle he wants let's give it to him.

I'll pitch in and help.

Do me good.

Little action is what I need.

(door clattering)

You here on law business, Sheriff?

No, we're just a bunch of plain citizens.

We've come to tell you that we don't hold with your brand

of mud-slinging, name-calling politics.

And we don't want you printing nothing more.

Nothing.

Now wait a minute, Sheriff.

You can't interfere with the freedom of the press.

You keep out of this you old moss-horn.

Moss-horn?

Listen, young fellow, on your best day

you couldn't curry mules in my outfit.

Papa!

(wood clattering)

Papa!

(grunting)

(grunting)

All right, let's get out of here.

Let's get out of here.

Jeff, Jeff?

Yes. Jeff?

Jeff, you've got to give up.

Lundy's too powerful.

He's too dangerous.

Maybe next time he'll order Sheriff Barnes to use his gun.

That's exactly why he got to be fought and beaten.

Jeff, the best thing for you to do

is strap on your own gun

and fight him in his way.

Captain Hayes, I know gun play was necessary in the days

when you were with the Texas Rangers,

but if we're ever going to have progress in the West,

we've got to learn to fight our battles

with ideas and words.

Son, looks like you've kind of run out of words.

(sighs) Maybe Hannah's right.

Maybe I should give up.

You know, a lot of people were glad to see me

run against Lundy, but none of them

would lift a finger to help.

I know a handful of men, just three who could

straighten out Lundy and his gang in a hurry.

Who's that Captain?

Fastest guns in the West.

Finest riders.

Top scouts.

Crack men who served with me on the River Brages

and brought law and order to the Lone Star state.

The pride of the Texas Rangers.

(tense music) (telegraph clicking)

First off, I'll send to Abilene for Nash Crawford.

His gun was quicker than the blink of a cougar,

faster than the flick of prairie dog's tail.

You'll see a gun, mister,

and you'll be dead before it clears out.

(glass shattering)

Gosh Grandpa, is that exactly the way you

had the shoot out with Sam Vance?

Well, of course the saloon weren't

all cluttered up with gee-gaws and dinguses like this.

Now you fellows clean this up 'fore your ma sees it.

And this the exact kind of gun you carried

in the Texas Rangers, isn't it Grandpa?

Well, it's a mite smaller than my Colt .45,

more like a hideout gun.

What's a hideout gun?

Well, come on over here and I'll tell you about it.

Sit yourself down there.

Now I recall I was wintering in the bend

on the San Sava River, east of Manardville, see?

The Captain sent me on a scout after a fellow

who was wanted for murder and horse thieving.

Well boys, that's when I got my first taste

of a hideout gun.

You see--

What was that crash I heard in here a minute ago?

Oh, my fault, Ellie.

Had a little accident with a lamp.

I suppose the Texas Rangers just

won another battle against overwhelming odds?

(somber music)

Run along boys.

It's time for your nap.

Oh mom, Grandpa was just going tell us about--

It'll keep, it'll keep.

Do like your ma says

Pa, I know you don't mean any harm.

But you've got to stop filling the boys'

heads full of those blood-curdling fairytales

about fighting horse thieves and Indians.

Fairy tales?

Well, them things really happened.

Fact is, I ain't even told the kids the bloodiest ones yet.

(telegraph clicking)

Next, I'll send to Kansas City for Jason Fitch,

second best man with a gun

and the finest scout in the Rangers.

He has eyes like a hawk in the daytime,

eyes like an owl at night.

(tense music)

Captain, don't ride out after them two fellows.

I know they're a mile off, but I can tell they're Comanches.

That big one's a chief.

I can tell by the mark on his forehead.

I can see the tip of a feather sticking up

behind a boulder way off there to the south.

That's a feather of a scissor-tail fly catcher.

There's another Comanche beneath it.

(wood clattering)

It's an ambush, them Redskins bushwhacked us!

Oh, you must have been a marvelous scout, Mr. Fitch,

to recognize all those terrible Indians so far away.

Takes eyes like an eagle, Miss Fletcher.

I'm Mrs. Murphy.

Ah yes, you're Mrs. Murphy not Miss Fletcher.

Say, you're a pretty little thing.

Mr. Fitch, you're really much too bold at times.

I once had a shoot out with three dudes

over a woman like you.

Mr. Fitch!

Real catalog woman she was, pretty little thing

just like you.

Mr. Fitch!

Mr. Fitch, Mr. Fitch!

Find your own woman, boy.

This telegram just came for you.

Somebody's dead.

It don't have a black border.

Let's see it.

Can you tell me what that says, Ms. Murphy?

I need my strong glasses for reading.

It says, Brazos.

(dramatic music)

Brazos?

That's the old code word of our company.

It means trouble.

Strap on your guns and hit the trail.

What else does it say?

There's just an address.

Sully's Mine on Feather Wash south of Boulder, Nevada.

Signed, Captain Oren Hayes.

Captain Oren Hayes?

Our old outfit's back in action.

I gotta light out for Nevada fast.

We'll help you get packed Mr. Fitch.

How can I help Captain Hayes?

Don't you feel up to it?

Sure, I feel up to it.

And over it and way past it.

Nevada's a long way from Kansas City.

I haven't got no horse, nor artillery,

and no money to make a trip if I did.

Well, maybe when I don't show up,

the Captain will think I'm dead.

Maybe I ought to be.

Good night.

(somber music)

(knocking)

Come on in, it's your house.

Boy just delivered this telegram for you.

Who in tarnation would send me a telegram?

(paper rustling)

What's it say, Pa?

Brazos!

That's all, Brazos?

No, there's a address here too.

Sully's Mine on Feather Wash south of Boulder, Nevada.

And it's signed Captain Oren Hayes,

my old Captain from the Texas Rangers, Ellie.

He needs me.

He's calling me to ride again.

You mean it's trouble?

Shooting and fighting?

Brazos, it's the old code word.

He always used it to call us together.

Well, it's a kind of reunion.

Pa, it's been years since you've heard

from Captain Hayes and--

Every man in our outfit'll come a-running

when he hears that word, Brazos.

But your outfit's all broken up and spread

over the whole country, retired.

No Ranger retires perpendicularly.

Well, it's an awful long way to Nevada.

Yeah, well it was a far piece down to New Oasis,

past Fort Clark and up the Devil's River

and on to Beaver Lake

to hit the Kickapoos, but we made it.

Well, how are you going to eat and sleep along the way?

What were you going to do for money?

Oh, I saved a little.

From what?

From not spending it.

Well, if your mind's made up, then I guess I can

I only kiss you goodbye and wish you good luck.

Yes sir, I'll just throw this gear on my horse--

Pa!

What?

You don't own a horse.

(dramatic music)

And last, but not least,

I'll send for Gentleman George Agnew.

We called him the Gentleman because

of his spotless character, his courtly manners,

his spit and polished appearance.

(body thudding)

(sighing)

Now, I'm telling you, Gentlemen George,

you stay out of this saloon for good.

Doggone Mack, I'm going to miss going

in that saloon of yours.

You know when I get to liking a man I freeze to him.

Well, I'm freezing you out.

Now there's your cards.

And don't try using that slippery deck again.

Next place, you're liable to wind up full of holes.

Well, so they caught you pulling a little flim-flam

and jiggery-pokery with the cards again, huh, George?

Sheriff, I just filled out

an inside straight fair and square.

Now, I could have used this ace or this deuce,

but the deuces wasn't wild.

No, Mack didn't throw you out just for the exercise.

(laughs) That joke was on Mack.

All I did was reach in my pistol pocket for my harmonica.

Here, I'll play you a little piece.

(upbeat harmonica music)

Uh, George, I think you best move on out of range.

Now why don't you go on home and get some sleep?

I ain't got no room, Frank.

I've been doing all my sleeping in Mack's saloon in yonder.

Oh well, if you need a bed, I could toss you in jail.

Jail, what for?

For most anything.

For inciting a riot, for littering up the streets.

Now, now come on.

I don't want to put you to all that bother, Frank.

I'll just find myself another saloon.

George, you have used up every saloon

in the whole Oklahoma territory.

Well, there must be somebody

building a new one around here somewheres.

George, George Agnew?

You?

I got a telegram for you, George.

Who in the world would be sending me a telegram?

Let's see this thing here.

Oh.

Yeehaw, Brazos!

What does that mean?

I'm wanted.

Well, now that don't surprise me none.

Who by?

The Texas Rangers.

My old Captain wants me to come up to Nevada.

You know I've got to get me

a broom-tailed filly for and ride.

(comical orchestral music)

George, you danged old fool!

Come back here!

Hee-yah, faster, get along, yah, faster!

Hee-yah, get along, yah, yah, yah.

Why you long-legged, U-knecked, broom keel,

the first time I ever seen on jackass riding another.

Now who are you calling a jackass?

You old moss-back, bull-winded, kettle-bellied--

George!

Nash!

(laughing)

Hey, good to see you.

Good to see you again.

You answering the Captain's call?

Yep, figured he had real need of good fighting men.

But I don't know, seeing as how he called on you.

Why you old coot.

Who got them two cattle rustlers

down in Bandeer County that time?

I did.

I winged them for you.

(laughing)

George, uh, you're looking a little poorly.

Kind of scummy and gone to grass-belly.

You don't look like you wintered too good yourself.

And who helped you up on that horse?

You must be 95 if you're a day.

Well, I reckon my gun ain't aged none.

(laughs) I reckon that's what counts, Sergeant.

Then let's ride.

Yah, Brazos.

(laughing)

(triumphant orchestral music)

Jason! Nash!

George.

Jase! (laughs)

Jason!

George, I know you're a sight for sore eyes!

Well, your eyes must be mighty sore, Jace.

I'm Nash Crawford!

Oh sure, I'd know you anywhere Nash.

Red hair, straight as a ramrod, skinny waist like a girl's.

Well, by jingles the Captain sure called up

the best men of the old outfit.

And the Captain don't like to be kept waiting,

so let's move out.

(upbeat music)

♪ Well all you Texas Rangers, wherever you may be ♪

♪ I'll tell you of some trouble that happened once to me ♪

♪ Our Captain, he informed us one dark and stormy night ♪

♪ Before you reach the river boys ♪

♪ You'll have yourself a fight. ♪

♪ The weather, it was dreadful ♪

♪ The rain came down like stones. ♪

♪ The wind was even stronger ♪

(singing drowned out by footsteps)

♪ I saw the Indians coming ♪

♪ I heard him give a yell ♪

♪ My feeling at that minute, no mother's son can tell. ♪

(comical classical music)

(upbeat harmonica music)

Yahoo!

I hate to say this, sir.

I know they were your best men, but I'm worried.

What do you mean, son?

They're a little old, aren't they?

Yes, I guess they are.

But then maybe so am I.

My boy, a man never really sees himself

till he looks at the friends he once knew.

Yahoo!

(George shouting)

What are we going to do Captain?

Well, I certainly am not going to tell them how I feel.

Sure, they're old.

They haven't got much left.

But they proved they're still Rangers by answering my call.

All they need is something that needs them,

something that needs doing.

I know that feeling too.

I just wish I hadn't let you get into this.

Now you stop fretting, Jeff.

We're gonna get you elected mayor.

All right, all right, Sergeant call assembly.

You heard the Captain, fall in.

Assemble you juggly, wrinkle-horned.

I'm assembled.

Well, assemble lengthwise.

Assembled neat and proper Captain.

All right men.

Now you know why I've called you altogether.

Yeah, to roust out some tinhorn mayor

and his four-flushing gang.

I say lead us right in and clean them out tonight, Captain.

Hold it, Nash, hold it.

You see, Lundy has the support of a corrupt judge,

gun-happy sheriff, plus all his deputies.

Well, if there ain't more than 20 of them,

Captain, I'll ride in and get them myself.

Now hold it, hold it men.

If this comes to a showdown it could be well, quite a fight.

We haven't been together in some time.

Maybe we ought to sharpen up for a couple of days.

You know, some of us might be just a little rusty.

I ain't rusty, Captain.

Practice my draw almost every day.

I've been training a couple

of young fellows down in Abilene.

I guess you ain't heard, Captain.

I've been making it a name for myself

in that Oklahoma territory from one end to the other.

You figured wearing these specs is slowing me down?

Ain't so.

Just holding me up sharper in other ways.

I can smell what a man's fixing to do.

I can hear the sneeze of a flea.

You can?

All right, men, that's good, but we're wasting time.

Election is only a week off.

Jeff, you ride in town tonight.

Tell Lundy he's got until tomorrow morning

to clear out, along with his crooked friends.

And--

If you don't take the warning, Captain Hayes

and his Rangers are gonna ride in at down,

ready for a showdown.

Oh, I am disappointed in you Jeff.

I thought you were strongly against violence and gunplay.

I don't think there'll be any.

I'd figure you'll go.

Texas Rangers?

They're a mean bunch.

Maybe I ought to injunct a legal paper against them.

Whereas, the people of this here town

declare that all troublemakers looking to make trouble--

Why don't you save that

for your next Supreme Court decision. (stammers)

Go finish your beer, will you?

Well, thank you.

You said that old fella wouldn't worry you none

when he rode into town.

Ah, it's just a bluff.

Jeff Rose would never sanction open warfare.

You'll do nothing about it?

You're just going to sit there and let them Rangers

ride in free?

Ex-Rangers Clyde.

They got no authority here.

Sure, sure, let them ride in free, but if any of them

start making any trouble you have got a sworn duty

to put down any attempt at gunplay on the streets

of our fair town, Sheriff.

Now you're talking, Nard.

Real shootout on Main Street.

(bright piano music)

(tense orchestral music)

(hooves clopping)

Captain Hayes of the Texas Rangers, sir.

Have you received my ultimatum?

Captain, I just couldn't believe that you were serious.

(laughs) I have the greatest admiration

for the reputation of the Rangers.

But I do believe that you have no true military authority

and certainly not here in the state of Nevada.

That's a legal ruling, section four, article two.

Let all men known by the--

(laughs) All right Judge.

We are here to as a private company

of vigilantes Mr. Mayor to preserve law and order

and to ensure an honest election.

How would you propose to do that, sir?

By seeing you and your associates

out of this town now, by force, if necessary.

Captain, as you see, we are unarmed.

I'll give you one minute to get armed.

Captain (laughs), we are a peaceable town

of law and order.

We do not want any bloodshed on our streets.

Now, why can't we settle this

obvious electioneering stunt in a sporting matter, eh?

(laughs)

Why don't we have a shooting contest?

The losers to leave town.

Now, you select your best marksman and fastest draw.

Now when I shout draw go for your gun.

(tense music)

Ready?

Draw!

(gun firing)

(crowd laughing)

Well Captain, you wanted a fair draw.

I figured he was gonna to count first.

Let me have him.

I can outdraw you the best day you ever lived, Sheriff.

That's my son-in-law, you idiot.

Oh.

Captain, I'm afraid that you and your men

have been the victims of some poor advice.

Boulder is a friendly and peaceful town.

Now if you'll all just step inside to the Helldorado,

I'll stand drinks all around.

That makes sense to me.

Mount up!

Retreat and re-form.

Oh.

(dramatic music)

Well Jeff, it's just like you always said,

the West has changed.

Things aren't what they used to be.

(chuckling)

They certainly aren't.

(crowd laughing)

(clapping)

It was a good try!

And it was more than anyone else in this town

has ever had the nerve to do.

Thank you, Madam.

Oh, I'm not madam.

It's Miss, Miss Cassie McGuire.

Cassie McGuire?

The famous singer and dancer?

Boy, I once paid $2 in Tombstone to see you perform.

Doggone, I saw you in a saloon in Tulsa.

And they couldn't get another in that place that

wanted to take a good look at you.

How nice it is to run into old friends like this!

Can I offer you all a drink?

No, I don't think we should.

Captain, you going to turn down another drink?

Well, Mayor Lundy doesn't approve

of any business coming into my place anyway.

Well in that case, Miss McGuire,

we accept your offer with pleasure.

Good!

Come on!

Singer, dancer, and you own a saloon?

Say, you're a pretty little thing.

Aw!

(laughing)

I never had the honor

of serving a whole company of Rangers before.

I ain't been in the Rangers for quite a spell Cassie.

Guess that was plain to see

when I drawed down the Sheriff out there.

Well, there was a day when you

were the fastest gun in the west, Nash.

Much obliged Captain.

But I reckon today I'm just a, well,

I guess I'm just the biggest windbag.

You know, I didn't even get a shot off.

You ain't alone Sergeant.

Only thing I've shot off in the past few years

is my big mouth.

Now, come on, I don't want any of that kind

of talk around here.

I didn't invite you in here to hold a wake.

I just wanted you to know

that there's some folks in this town

who are mighty proud of what you all tried to do.

It's a dirty shame when a whelp like Lundy

puts a squeeze on a pretty little thing like you.

Ah, I've been hanging on hoping Jeff would

beat him in the election next week.

And I'm going to keep hanging on

until Lundy is plum wore out.

Or until he shoots me.

And even then, they're going to have

to pound me into a boothill like a steak.

'Cause I'm just too stubborn to lie down.

(chuckling)

Yee-haw, she'd have been some Texas Ranger.

Touchy as a teased snake.

That's a lot of mad Irish on the prod.

You know when a little petticoat like that

keeps losing and fighting back, what's ailing us?

(dramatic orchestral music)

You know, Jace, is right.

We only lost the first skirmish.

No fellow in the wrong can stand up against a fellow

that's in the right and keeps on coming.

Oh.

Men, first of all, I want to tell you

that I'm grateful for the way you responded

to my call quickly and loyally, no questions asked.

I appreciate that.

But I want to apologize for doing it.

You see, I had forgotten that you had retired honorably

from the Rangers and set up new lives for yourselves

because you were, well, you were tired of guns and fighting.

No, that ain't so Captain.

We just used up all the bad Indians

and the outlaws in Texas.

We just cleaned ourselves out of business.

We didn't retire.

We just ran out of something to do.

No, no, there was a time when we could have

set this town on its ear.

But we've got to face it.

We're over the hill now.

And me, well, I'm just a witless old blockhead

to bring you all the way out here on a wild goose chase.

Captain, you all done speech making?

Yes, I'm all done, Nash.

Except if anybody wants any help or money to get home?

I ain't going home, not yet!

Not 'til I get done what I came here to do.

I ain't never crawled with a tail

between my legs in my life.

And I'm too old to take on any new bad habits like that now.

Hold it, Nash!

Now Captain, look, just set yourself down

and let me loose jaw a spell, huh?

Just a minute.

You can't pull rank on me.

You're only a first Sergeant.

I'm pulling age on you!

Age, age, that's all we got working for us now.

Ain't that what you just said?

Yeah.

You know, I got laughed at out there today.

It's a feeling I ain't never had before.

And I tell you, it don't sit easy with me.

Well, you almost outdrawed him Nash.

Almost gets a man a quick funeral.

We got to go along with what the Captain said.

Time's been tailing us, and it's overtook us.

All right, so we are a mite older.

A man needs food 'til he's dead.

Sometimes a man's dead when he ain't no use anymore.

Yeah, I know what you mean.

Now look, we got plenty of youth left in us.

I've been totalling up these years

and it figures there's something

around 275 years of fighting savvy

in this outfit put altogether in a lump.

We can whip this Lundy and his gang

if we just go at it right and use the right artillery.

What do we use?

What do we use?

We'll use our wits!

Well, maybe they've gone rusty too.

Or we wouldn't have come running up

here like a bunch of young buckos in the first place.

It ain't so.

We all come here a-running because we was needed.

We packed our bowie knives and our saddlebag and our Colts

and there's one thing we didn't pack in there.

That's our wits!

All right.

All right, Nash, but the election is only a week off.

What have you got in mind?

Well now, Captain, do you recall

how we rounded up them tinhorn gamblers in Chimney Butte?

Yeah!

And how we bamboozled that big gang

of Comanchero horse thieves on the border?

Yeah.

Trickery and deception.

The old theory, divide and conquer!

That's it.

Get inside the enemy camp.

Gnaw away at his vitals without him knowing it.

Do you know, this might work.

It just might work here!

(tense music)

I got an idea.

It's horse high, bull strong, and hog tight.

(upbeat music) (crowd chattering)

Well, I've got (mumbles drunkenly).

I just said 30 days or $30. (laughs)

Hey, ain't that one of the old moss-backs

that rode into town today?

Yeah, it's the one I blew the hat off of.

What's he up to?

Flip-flopping around like a wall-eyed mule in the windstorm?

He's probably come back to even up the score.

Couldn't find his gun in the daylight.

(laughs)

I'll go down to the jail.

You go across there and prod him

with some of your legal talk.

Well, now hold on Clyde.

You're the lawman.

He's got nothing against you.

Now go on.

(stammers)

Howdy, are you one of those old Rangers

that rode into town today?

Well, I reckon I can call that hand.

You looking for somebody?

No, nobody in particular.

Well, it appeared to me that you were tailing the sheriff.

You look like one of the honest men around here.

I don't suppose you got any love

for the crooked law this town, huh?

Well, maybe.

Well, I'm tailing the Sheriff right enough.

But I ain't such a good shot no more.

I got to get just the right distance and the right light

and all, but sooner or later, I'll kill him.

Mister, you happen to be talking to Judge Amos Polk,

duly constituted to order all felonious

and unruly gunslingers strung up.

Judge Polk?

Well now, I'm glad it's you.

You're a friend of Mayor Lundy's, ain't you?

Well, we closely associated yeah.

Well, I've been hired by the mayor to do this job.

Why, that's impossible.

Oh, the mayor's a smart politician.

He knows the sheriff ain't helping his election chances any.

With the law man and his gunnies gone,

the mayor's racket'll look a whole lot cleaner.

And he can pick himself a nice, shiny new sheriff.

But Lundy wouldn't have, (stammers), but why you?

Well, I just blew in and now I'll be blowing right out.

Then he won't have me around and he won't owe me nothing,

except the nice bundle I already got in my pocket here.

It's a lie!

Lundy wouldn't do it!

(hand thudding)

That old buzzard's loose between the ears.

Maybe the old man's better than you think he is, Clyde.

Maybe he just let you outdraw him today to get you off-guard

and make you get careless.

(chair clattering)

(dramatic music)

Well, I guess they're on their way to see Lundy.

He's started something.

Got him nibbling at the bait real good.

No, no Clyde, no, no, no.

I do not want you gunning down an old man like that.

But he's out to get me!

He told Amos.

That's right!

Down at the duel.

Well, what are you so worried about?

You already proved you could outdraw him.

He's tailing me!

You've been tailed before.

Nard, let me get him.

I'll make it real easy for him, get real close.

Let him reach first.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Besides he is no competition for you Clyde. (laughs)

Anyway, the town has already laughed him out.

Now Clyde, they're on your side now, but if you kill him,

they're gonna turn against you.

It would give them a nasty taste

in their mouth right before election.

You're willing to let him get me?

Well Clyde, let me put it to you this way, if you get him,

I'm going to have to take that little star away from you

and get me a more peace-loving sheriff, hm?

(laughs)

(coughs)

(crowd chattering)

You gonna raise or call, Steel?

I'm pondering.

I already got my last month's wages and half the next.

The cards have never been so good to me.

You're too many for me fella.

Streaks like that ain't natural.

I just call.

Pair of aces, king high.

I got a pair of aces with a little four high.

(dramatic music)

Well, I guess you fellas got the bulge on me.

Sure know when to lose don't you, Dobie, them dinky pots.

Wait a minute.

You opened, as I recall.

Yeah, that's right, Dobie.

You got your openers.

What's the difference?

I told you you had me beat.

It's real plain that you didn't want to show openers.

You had three aces.

I don't know where I got 'em.

Easy.

You did the shuffling and dealing.

Yeah, and I cut.

Now, I don't want to hold up a good poker game

over some picky little squabbles over the rules,

but seven aces in one deck, (whistles),

that's a lot of aces.

Maybe it's a bad deck?

Been mighty good to you, 'til now.

You saying I rigged this deck, Steel?

I'm saying it.

(tense music)

(gun firing)

Well, we got one deputy on the ground and three in here.

Very clever, George.

I'm just glad they didn't catch you

making hanky panky with the cards.

Oh, they were easy marks.

I could've put 10 aces in that deck.

But I just didn't want to show off my talent.

I hope all this flim-flam works,

but Lundy knows we're still hanging around this town.

He can't see us doing anything

that'll jeopardize his security.

And he knows Nash is still tailing that sheriff.

That don't bother him none.

Ain't his hide.

He's already seen a sample of my shooting.

Well, maybe he's figuring

that we're thinking on something.

Yeah, thinking is one thing that's

bound to give the mayor fits.

He can't tax it.

He can't stop it.

And he can't even tell when anybody's going it.

Hey, this is going to work out just fine.

And we still got three more days 'fore election.

It's about time for me to go take another hard twist

on the sheriff's tail.

Reckon he sees me following him in his sleep now.

That is if he's doing any sleeping. (laughs)

What about Jason?

Is he seeing to his assignment?

Oh yeah, right about now I figure

he ought to be setting old Judge Polk's shirttail on fire.

(laughing)

(sighs) You're a mighty generous man, Jason.

Well, it ain't often a man gets the honor

and the privilege of drinking with a famous judge

appointed by the governor himself.

(laughs) Well, I got a secret for you Jason.

I wasn't appointed by the governor. (laughs)

I paid $10 for my office, two buffalo skins,

and a case of whiskey.

No, (laughs) say, that's a good one.

Why didn't you buy the mayor job?

What did you want to be a judge for?

Well, I wanted to be where I could

do people the most good.

And by golly, I was too because I wasn't in there two days

and I let 10 of my best friends out of jail.

That's doing good. (laughs)

A man does good like that ought to get hisself a medal.

Yeah.

Shame Mayor Lundy's fixing to dirty

up such a fine reputation.

Mayor Lundy, what's that Jason?

I just can't sit still for a thing like that.

I'll tell you what, Your Honor, why don't you

sell me your office and get out before he does it to you.

I'll give you $100 for it.

That's 1,000% profit.

Well, Nard Lundy can't do that to me.

He needs me.

I make some mighty tricky decisions for him.

Why I even had a couple of fellas hung for him once.

I know it's hard for an honorable man like you to swallow.

But Lundy's fixing to dump you just before the election.

No!

He's got to.

The governor got a hold of a copy of Jeff Rose's paper.

Well, I'm not going to take the blame

for this all by myself.

He's just as guilty as I am!

That's what he's fixing to do.

He's gonna have a real housecleaning,

clean up this town.

Show the folks that he's just an honorable, upright man

taken in by a couple of crooks, like you and Sheriff Barnes.

Barnes?

Why Lundy hired a gunnie to kill him.

Well, I guess he was a mite more fond of you.

Excuse me.

(door thudding)

You're boiled, Amos.

Get out.

You try it, Nard.

We're in this thing together.

You're not gonna dump me.

(laughs) Amos, what in the world are you screaming about?

Nobody's gonna dump you, no.

You (stammers).

Still, it might be kind of a good idea

if you started thinking about retiring, you know.

You could go out to California and take it easy.

You're not gonna edge me out.

I got all of my records hid away.

And if I go down, I'm gonna drag you with me. (laughs)

(door thudding)

It him him like a blast of buckshot.

Old Judge Polk is ornery eyed

and hunting for grass. (laughs)

Well, it's only three days before election.

Lundy doesn't even seem disturbed.

Well, there's one thing you can figure, he ain't done.

Yeah, he ought to be feeling the burr

under his blanket anytime now.

I'm a little concerned

about Judge Polk and Sheriff Barnes.

They're behaving in a most peculiar manner.

I'm afraid somebody or something has gotten to them.

Well, the judge is running real scared about something.

That's a fact.

I figured Sheriff was just a little edgy

about that old gunnie tailing him night and day.

Well, why don't you tail him Steel.

I want to know everyone he talks to and everywhere he goes.

And Tucker, follow the judge the same way.

(tense orchestral music)

Steel!

What are you tailing me for?

Well Sheriff, Mayor Lundy ordered me to follow you, and--

Figured the old man couldn't get me.

Hired you to do the killing, huh?

Now wait just one minute.

If I wait any longer, I'll be dead.

(gun firing)

(dramatic music)

Two deputies down and two to go.

(tense music)

Tucker, are you following me?

I'm just keeping an eye on you, Judge.

You don't need to.

I've been keeping on eye on His Honor.

And I've been keeping an on you mister.

Well, both of you can just get.

My orders to trail the Judge come right

from the Mayor himself.

Lundy put you on me?

That's funny, the Mayor gave me the same job.

You know, this is a mighty confusing town.

You can't tell who's out to get who.

Lundy wouldn't hire an old hammerhead like you.

Not when he's got us.

Gentlemen, maybe I can outshoot you.

I got 100 hard dollars that says I can.

Now you want ante up or pass the buck?

I ain't got $100.

Me neither, but I'd sure like to get yours, mister.

Well, just throw yourselves in the pot.

I'll put the hundred and if you lose you both,

you just get out of town.

Good.

Let me at that hundred.

Now hold on, what's the contest?

Wing shooting for distance and accuracy in the dark.

Wing shooting?

Yeah.

For what?

See that flock of geese coming over?

I'm gonna to get that bull goose.

You boys just picture yourselves one out of the flock.

(gun firing) (dramatic music)

Ha ha, I guess you boys got

what they call a touch of night blindness.

Maybe we ought to try something easier

like three cushion or ricochet shooting.

Yeah, we'll try it.

Come on then.

Now, you see that light in Cassie's saloon over there?

I'm gonna to shoot through the door, shoot that light out.

That bullet's going to bounce

against that potbellied stove,

ricochet across the street, hit that antelope in front

of the pikesmith's shop, ricochet across the street again,

hit that cowbell over that store,

come back towards me, and I'm going to catch

that lead slug with my teeth.

Ain't a man alive that good.

(laughing)

(gun firing)

(metal clanging) (bell ringing)

You know, I was a mite bit off on that shot.

If I hadn't caught that bullet with my teeth,

it might have passed by me and hit one of you boys

right between the eyes.

Now, you want to try your hands

or you just want to get on your horses and ride?

We'll uh, we'll be riding.

You boys ought to find good work back east.

Of course, there ain't no calls for any real shooting.

(laughs)

It ain't safe here no more.

All my deputies are either dead or they left town!

I ain't got no back up!

You shot one of them yourself.

Well, I figured, somebody said that.

You figured?

Somebody said!

What is the matter with Clyde, anyway?

You just falling apart or something, Clyde?

You falling apart?

Is this job gotten to be too big for you, hm?

Or maybe you'd just as soon not be

part of my new administration after I get reelected, huh?

(dramatic music)

My price has come down, Your Honor.

It's $50 now.

Well, I'll take it.

It'll pay the stage fare to Mexico.

For good and valuable consideration here paid over,

I do hereby hand you the right and title honor

and almaments of my office.

And what the Almighty has joined up, let no man monkey with.

(tense orchestral music)

Hey, hey!

Hey!

Hey, hey!

Hey, hey!

Ho!

Hey hey!

Right on schedule, two days before election.

But Lundy's still here.

I reckon it's time to pay him a little visit.

Gentlemen, gentlemen, gentlemen, come in.

Come in, come in.

We're a little crowded in here,

but I'm sure we can squeeze you in. (laughing)

What's your pleasure?

We're here to see you out of town.

Oh dear, I thought we had settled all that foolishness.

You're through, Lundy.

The judge and the sheriff just took off on the last stage.

Oh?

Well, small loss.

Matter of fact, it'll allow me to dispense

some patronage after I'm elected, eh? (chuckles)

New blood.

Matter of fact, I must thank you

for helping me to clean house.

Why without your tinhorn judge and your gun-happy sheriff,

people will begin to get the feel

of what it's like to be free.

Yeah, maybe the people will vote you out.

I believe that people will vote the way I recommend.

Mm-mm, you can't scare them into voting for you.

Your gunmen have left town.

You just ain't got no protection.

That is where you're wrong.

You know, I was puzzled at first.

But then it suddenly occurred to me

what you gentleman were up to.

So I imported an entirely new staff of associates.

Now I believe I must ask you

to get out of town, now, by high noon!

It's a bluff.

Gentlemen, allow me to introduce you.

(tense music)

These men happen to be the deadliest guns in the West today.

Big Red Connors, Little Billy Ford,

the Martin brothers,

Frank Mace,

Lafe Jordan.

(laughs)

(dramatic music)

(tense music)

Papa, you have got to give up.

It's no use.

Honey, we almost had Lundy whipped.

This time we'll do it.

Please Papa, he said be out of town by high noon.

It's almost that time now.

Things are a lot worse than they were

when we started Captain.

Jeff, we can't back down now.

We won the support and the respect of all the townspeople.

And they're ready to vote for you.

You really believe your handful of old Rangers

can make a stand against that gang of lawless cutthroats?

My men are setting up our first line of defense now.

This town will long remember the gunfight

at Cassie's corral.

(tense music)

Sun's about dead center.

Be careful of that mirror, boys.

I had it shipped all the way from New York

in the good old days.

Don't you worry, Miss Cassie.

If we bust it, we'll get you a bigger and better one

from that fancy mail order house called Monky Ward's.

(hammer thudding)

Hand me that war cap.

Now give me some of that clear.

Miss Black, we certainly appreciate your help

and the use of your establishment.

I'm only afraid it's going to suffer considerably.

Can't suffer anymore than it's already been suffering.

Well, I think you better be on your way

over to the General Store.

Oh, good luck, Captain.

Thank you.

(horse whinnying)

High noon!

They've had their chance.

Now let's run them out.

(men shouting)

(upbeat harmonica music)

They're holed up in there.

Apparently they didn't take my warning seriously, huh?

I didn't think they'd be foolish enough to fight.

Well, this won't take long.

Two or three of you, break in there.

Tell them to get on their horses and ride.

(door thudding)

We're in this room!

(fabric rustling)

(guns firing) (glass shattering)

(guns firing)

(horses whinnying)

They split it up, get outside!

(wood thudding)

Ah, get something heavy to ram it!

Wait a minute, use the piano.

(bullet splashing)

(grunting)

(gun clicking)

He hit you?

No, just got me between draws.

Get down in the street.

Flush them out.

All right, ram it.

(screaming) (explosion roaring)

Sounds like they've got an army!

Let's get out of here!

(dramatic music)

(guns firing)

(upbeat music)

They're heading for the Helldorado.

Stay out of here now.

I don't want my place shot up.

Too bad.

You've got the best hole up town.

Now get in there.

Scatter, scatter!

(woman screaming)

I'll take the balcony and get them from above.

You 'em slow up down here.

Freeze or I'll let you have it!

(glass shattering)

(gun firing)

(wood clattering)

(grunting)

(glass clattering)

(tense music)

Here's another.

I guess-- Stop!

(hooves clopping)

There goes that tinhorn that hired us without pay.

(dog barking)

Just let us get our horses.

Maybe we can catch him before he gets too far.

No warrants for you here.

You can go.

But we don't want you back.

Don't worry.

Robbing banks and jumping claims is faster, easier,

and it pays a whole lot better.

(cheering)

(applauding)

And so, my friends, thanks to the courage

of Captain Hayes and his valiant Texas Rangers

this town can now look forward to the start of a new era.

As your duly elected mayor, I promise a new day

that will last a long, long time.

Honest lawmen, true justice in our court.

We may never be a big town, but we'll be peaceable,

quiet, and happy.

Raising our children in an atmosphere

free of gambling, vice, and corruption.

(audience applauding) (audience cheering)

And to completely erase our soiled and tarnished past,

we'll even change the names on a lot of things.

(audience applauding) (audience cheering)

(crowd laughing)

Well, I reckon it's time for us to be riding.

You want me to help you up

on that horse, you old droophorn?

Any of you fellows come up wanted for hanging,

I'll be glad to try your case.

I'm a $50 judge now, you know.

(laughing)

I'm proud of you boys.

Best outfit a man ever headed up.

That goes for me, too.

I hope you all come back real soon.

Next time, I'll do my spider dance for you.

(laughing)

I sure would like to be here, Miss Cassie, that next time.

(somber music)

Captain, if you need us, if it ain't too long, that is.

Attention!

(horse whinnying)

(gentle orchestral music)

Well, this is where I take the south fork for Abilene.

And if I head east I'll be in the territory of Oklahoma.

I reckon if I split the difference between you,

I ought to come out somewhere near Kansas City.

Say, you know them two young fellas

I said I've been training down in Texas?

Yeah.

They're only seven and eight-year-old.

They're my grandsons.

What will you train them for, to be heartbroke?

Well, I reckon there's a few things

I can still teach them.

Like not making some of the fool mistakes I done.

That's always the way it is.

When a man starts handing out good advice,

he ain't up to set no more bad examples.

Well now, I ain't heard of you

winning no big battles in Oklahoma.

Well, I started a bunch of them

at every saloon down there.

I just wasn't there at the finish.

You know Sergeant, it must be nice to have your own home

and your family and watch your grandkids grow up.

I sort of got a family in Kansas City.

These old timers in this old folks home.

We could put you up in Abilene, George.

We got many places for you to bed down.

That is, if--

No, thank you, Sergeant.

I'll just go back to Oklahoma and find myself a new saloon.

You know something?

Since I've been up here I've got my old knack back

with the cards again.

I just might get myself a lucky streak a-going down there.

(laughing)

I reckon I got enough to tell the folks back home

to last out the rest of my time.

(laughs) You know, I've been accused

of telling tall tales before,

but just wait until they hear this one. (laughs)

Well, I guess we'd better be riding out.

So long and good luck, fellas.

Well, so long Rangers.

We'll get together again real soon.

Well, say, so long.

So long.

(peaceful orchestral music)