Original subtitles

Great, but I can see you thinking.

Less thinking.

Empty your mind. I want you blank-eyed and slack-jawed.

Stare into space.

That thousand-yard stare.

That's it.

That's it. Right there. Yes!

We got it!

Someone get her some cocaine.

Her name is Lola Falana.

Sorry, Murphy, above your pay grade. Come on, Hoffman!

Ms. Falana was on her way to becoming America's next supermodel until

yesterday, when she was corseted to death in a fashion shoe for Popular

Magazine. She's the fifth supermodel to be killed in the last two months, and

Vice President Perry has declared a national emergency.

The fear is we're only a few murders away from ordinary-looking women

appearing on magazine covers.

My third foster mom was a supermodel, so this one hits really close to foster

home. Has the FBI looked into it?

The female body inspectors are completely stumped, so it falls to us.

Since all the models died at a popular magazine photo shoot, we're going to

commence an undercover operation at the magazine's headquarters in Tulsa,

Oklahoma, the fashion capital of the U.S. God damn it! What the hell do a

bunch of ex-cops know about fashion?

Shit! Fashion is perception, and I know everything about perception.

The shoe was intended to enhance the calf, the pant was invented to show off

the buttocks, and the shirt is nothing but a hat for the pants.

Look, we're heading into an unfamiliar world with mysteries around every dark

corner. But after that, we're going to solve this crime.

So in the immortal words of Tim Gunn, make it work!

is a map of the world is a map of the world you can see she's a beautiful girl

she's a beautiful girl and everything around her is a silver pool of

light people who surround to feel the benefit of it it makes you count

children captivated and i found

Excuse me. I'm here to interview with Anna some more.

Tribeca! Tanner?

What are you doing here?

I'm on a secret mission to investigate dead models.

What about you?

I'm looking into embezzlement at the parent company.

Oh, my God!

What are you undercover as? A lunatic?

No, as Miss Samore's second assistant.

Honey, girl, look, luckily she won't be in for another 30 minutes.

She's coming off the elevator.

My driver was 15 minutes late this morning. I never called your driver. And

the proofs that you were supposed to send me last night are not in my email.

Would you call Darian and find out if he wants to do lunch today? I don't even

know who Darian is. And please, not the Cliff House.

What in God's name is this?

Oh, this is a stromboli. It's kind of like a calzone, but more like a pizza on

the inside.

And what are you and your stromboli doing sitting in front of my desk?

I am here to...

Interview to be your new assistant of course you are have you even read

popular magazine?

Yeah, yeah, I was particularly fond of last spring

story about tops That was our best-selling issue

Well, we might give you a shot after all Tom

We're really going to have to do something about this.

Looks like she's wearing a garbage bag.

Is there any more egg roll?

There is one left. Where is it?

We found some DNA on her skin that definitely isn't hers.

Well, that's promising, but presumably a lot of people were touching her that

day. Hairstylists, makeup artists, perverts. I can assure you this person

did not touch her. What makes you so sure?

The reason this person never touched her is because he lives in Peru and has

never visited the U.S. Maybe Felana did a modeling gig in Peru.

Checked her passport. She's never been to Peru.

That's a real head-scratcher.

How old did you say this model was again?

I didn't.

22. Now I have.

No, she's not 22.

Look at the tan line on her finger.

So she was married, big deal. It's on the wrong hand.

That's a yo-yo string tan line.

Well, I'll be damned. She's right.

The yo-yo craze was late 80s, early 90s at the latest. This woman either

inherited the best genes in the world, or something's keeping her looking

incredibly young.

All right, here's what we do. We fly down to Peru, and we have a talk with

this guy with the DNA.

Here's the kicker.

You can't have a worthy guy. He's been dead for two years.

Chubster. Ugo.

Dump truck.

Revenge of the blob.

Denny, why is it so difficult to find models who can actually wear the clothes

we feature?

We had skinnier ones, but they fell through the subway grates. I'll find

some more, Mrs. Moore.

Lady, come on, shoo. Shoo, shoo, shoo, shoo.

Denny? Yes?

Where's the new boy?

You know, the boxy one?

You mean me?

Oh. God.

My son wants to read the new Harry Potter book, and I want you to get it

for me. I don't think there is a new Harry Potter book. I read in Newsweek

magazine that J.K. Rowling was thinking of writing a ninth book. I want that

book on my desk by this afternoon.

Absolutely.

So these models dying, crazy, huh?

Models die, that's the business.

Now, if you're quite finished with your exclusive interview, I need someone to

muck up the staples.

Yes, ma'am.

And, um, will you do something to step up your look?

This is a fashion magazine, not a macaroni grill.

Is it really that important?

It's just clothes.

We were supposed to regroup. She's working late for that woman again.

Not what she cares about lately.

I'm gonna hit the head.

Sorry.

I was doing some forensics tests on the other dead models.

Charo was supposed to put them back in their graves. Not before I've completed

my analysis.

What? You're gonna read the faces of dead people?

You'd be surprised how much the dead have to say. I wish I had stayed in

school. We found DNA from several different dead Peruvians on all five

models. This is difficult for me to say, but I'm stamped.

Sorry, stumped. None of the women had ever been to Peru?

And none of the Peruvians had been here. Damn it, I hate the weird ones.

Would it be too much to ask to have a robbery gone wrong, resulting in three

dead and two wounded?

Ugh.

Sorry I'm late. I'm dealing with, like, nine different things.

Okay, send.

Hey, guys, what's up? Sorry I'm late. I'm dealing with, like, eight different

things.

This is the first night you've worked late in a row.

When are you gonna take some time to work on this case?

I am working on this case, which means that I have to maintain my cover.

But I'm here now, so what's up? Okay, well, all five models... That's her. I

gotta go. I forgot to give her Harry Potter and the clump of hair.

Well, gee, if you get a chance to, I don't know, tell us what you've learned

so far!

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anna Samour definitely knows something. I asked her about the

models, and she got real squirrely.

Ugh.

That's kind of all I got right now, but we can check in later in the week. We

have to go to Peru.

Oh, my God, that sounds so fun. No, it's because all the models... Yeah, no, I'm

on my way. Okay, all right, guys, call me when you get back from Peru, and

we'll totally set up a lunch or something.

TTFN.

TTFN? Feels very pushed.

I got the manuscript, and I had J.K. Rowling change Harry's name to your

son's name.

Fine.

Everything okay?

Magazines going under.

Did you ever think about doing

anything else?

Like when you were a little girl, did you ever have a dream?

All I ever wanted was to be beautiful and fashionable and a fireman.

Well, it's not too late.

There's fires everywhere nowadays.

I like you, Angie Tribeca.

You've got a good head on your shoulders.

But your face could use some work.

Try this cream.

Once at night and once in the morning and twice during the day.

I think you'll find in a week you'll be staring at a 45-year-old in the mirror.

You know, Anna, these plasters... Please leave. OK.

The hell's the guide? He's dead.

What? Jaguar got him back by the river.

I'm sure I've seen these names before.

Let me run them through the database.

You're here at your pleasure, sir. Whatever customs or ancient traditions

you have here, we would like to respect.

I'm just going to enter them into the computer.

Gracias for that.

Computer, search mode.

What's he doing?

I'm at some kind of prayer.

We switched to voice mode about three years ago.

Search names Pedro Martinez, Nomar Garcia-Para, Manny Ramirez, David Ortiz,

Wade Boggs.

Searching.

Don't. You'll hallucinate.

Oh, wow.

It seems like these were just drifters who were in the wrong place at the wrong

time. Well, I don't know how you run things down here, Major Chicano, but in

America, killing is a crime unless it's done by a rich person.

No, it's a crime down here as well, Senor Atkins.

There's a notation next to each one that says gordo.

Gordo is how you say in English... Gordon? A gourd?

Like we have a joke down here.

Your mama so gordo Machu Picchu climbs her.

Like mountainous?

Possessing many steps?

Fat.

The victims were all fat.

Can I have a cookie?

We're out.

But he's eating one. I brought it from home.

Package for Special Division Force?

I'll sign for it.

It's here, sir.

Let's go.

So this is our fat Peruvian?

Wow. The standards for beauty down there must be really high. I mean, this guy is

absolutely not fat.

Look at all this extra skin.

This man was obese.

So what, he lost weight through diet and exercise?

Not a chance.

It appears someone sucked all the fat out of his body. What? How do you know

that?

Look at the buttocks.

See that pinprick?

Someone tapped this ass.

Someone tapped this ass hard.

I cannot seem to get this ensemble to pop.

Don't ask me. I don't know Jack about fashion. Mr. Moore said if I come up

with some great ideas for the September issue, she'll take me to Fashion Week in

Baghdad. Then I can crack this whole embezzlement thing wide open.

I don't know. I just think it has too much going on.

What if you just went simpler?

Tribeca, you just dressed her as a cop. Look, nobody in the fashion industry is

ever going to look at this and think... I love it.

Neutral colors, clean lines.

It's a man, it's a woman.

This. This is what I want for the September show.

It was my idea.

I think it's absolutely brilliant.

Say, if you're not too busy, would you like to join me for Fashion Week in

Baghdad? Oh, I couldn't possibly say no to that.

Count me in.

Excellent.

Here's to Maria Charo, whose birthday is next week.

Thank you, thank you. You're all too kind.

My birthday is today.

Oh, my God, Schultz, how could I have forgotten?

You said you had a breakthrough on the case.

The discovery that fat had been sucked out of all the Peruvian victims got me

thinking. What is fat used for?

It's in our food.

They use it in soap.

Plastic bags.

It's even in crayons.

But did you know that it's also a common ingredient in many beauty products,

including moisturizers?

Whoa!

So I went back and did tests on all the dead models and found out that they all

use the same age-defying face cream.

Someone is selling a face cream with human fat in it? That begs the question.

Does it work?

Someone's smuggling illegal human fat into the country. We need to find out

who. Whoever's doing this is narcissistic, vain, shallow, obsessed

with appearance and willing to do anything to cling to whatever sliver of

youth that's slowly slipping from their fingers. Yes, but does it work?

Angela Giles. Hey, it's me. I'm stuck at the office.

How long are you guys going to be there?

It's Scholz's breakthrough and you're missing it. It's not like I don't want

to be there.

Which reminds me, I'm not going to be there tomorrow for your realization.

I'm going to be on a flight to Baghdad.

Dad, what the hell is going on? Do you know how many girls would die for this

job? Yeah, five.

And we just found out that they all had a face cream that had fat from murdered

Peruvians in it.

Human fat and face cream?

Okay, that sounds insane.

I gotta go. We're almost finished with the September issue, and we have to get

to Kinko's before it closes.

Well, listen, Mom, you need to decide what your priorities are.

Tomorrow, we're planning a really big bust, and if you don't show up, I guess

we'll know what you chose.

AJ, come on.

AJ?

You know, the more I think about it, the more I realize that you'd be the perfect

model for our new cop look.

Well, I've never been a model before, but I have been wearing clothes since I

was 12.

Hands in the air!

Get them up!

Right now!

Pay the police.

Any other questions?

No, man, we're cool.

What the hell is this?

Heroin. I know it's heroin!

Where's the fat? I don't know what you're talking about.

Heroin.

Real fur.

A decent studio comedy.

I don't know, sir. It should be here.

Listen, sir, double hard. It's a boiling hot day out here, and I don't have time

for nonsense!

Wait a minute.

What smells delicious?

Hand me that knife.

Well, well, well.

Somebody had a big breakfast.

Please, I have to deliver this fat or Miss Samor will kill me. Wait a minute.

Samor's running this whole thing?

Tribeca, she's in Baghdad without backup. What do we do?

If only we had a plane.

You know how to fly a plane?

Of course.

Shit.

It's a stick.

Perfect.

Loving it.

Now. Show me sexy.

Amazing. Let's take five.

You are absolutely transcendent. Why don't we replenish your energy with a

little snack?

Oh, I could eat something.

Spoken like a true model.

I believe these are your favorites.

You got the full stromboli stack from Stromboli Shack?

Had them flown in specially.

Tanner? What are you doing?

It was supposed to be me at the fashion show, not you.

Those were my designs that were supposed to have been picked.

For God's sake, Danny, put away the gun.

Fashion is a cutthroat business. It's every man, woman, and underage Romanian

girl for themselves.

And you would say that, Miss Amore. That's why you've been embezzling money

from the parent company's accounts.

What is this?

It's a bust.

Danny Tanner, fashion police.

And you're also under arrest for attempted murder.

That's Tromboli's point.

Oh, my God.

All of them? Or just that one?

I don't know. But if she was trying to kill you, it's because you knew

something she didn't want you to know.

All I know is that there's human fat in the face cream that you gave me.

You're under arrest for the murder of five supermodels.

Don't you understand?

They were all getting too old.

That cream might have staved off the inevitable for a few years, but in the

end, they're all going to turn 24.

Do you want to see a 24-year-old hag staring at you from the cover of a

magazine? Do you?

Do you?

Do you?

Take her away, Tanner.

Tanner.

Thanks, man.

It's all good, Tribeca.

It's all good.

I'm not sure we're airports.

Now you're just disoriented!

I can see our car!