Original subtitles

It's called eSports, and it's real professional video gamers going head-to

-head as a stadium full of people watch oh And here he comes the defending

voyage quest champion phone devil 666 and see if we can get a word mr. Devil

mr. Devil can I get two words from you?

Sure, yes A win for you today would bring your team one step closer to the

World Championships in Pyongyang. Are you feeling the pressure?

The Big Bone dominates Voyage Quest. That's an undisputed fact.

And anyone who gets in his way is going to be looking at the business end of a

complanium broadsword. No more questions.

Hey, hey, hey, can I get your autograph?

Oh, yeah, sure.

Should I make it out to you? Oh, my God!

Green Devil 666 is the non-thegare of 22-year-old professional gamer Paul

Boneson.

Sorry, Murphy, above your pay grade. Come on, Hoffman!

Boneson plays a game called Voyage Quest for a professional gaming team known as

SharkSpark. The attack, which you're seeing now, has taken his fingers out of

the running for the world championship.

Sir, I thought we were taking cases outside of law enforcement.

like international espionage and haunted trains.

Damn it, Mom, your unique brand of skepticism is going to tear this team

apart. Fortunately, I anticipated Tribeca's rock-hard cynicism.

Therefore, this briefing will be given by the director of the Special Division

Force itself, Vice President Joe Perry.

Bone Devil 666 is the nom de guerre of a 22-year-old gamer. Sorry, Joe, I covered

that. You were further down the road than I thought.

Did Tribeca show her unique brand of skepticism? That's exactly where we are.

The video gaming industry brings more money into the U.S. economy than

missiles, oil, and coffee cup sleeves combined.

If a foreign entity wants to disrupt that industry, we want to know about it.

And ideally, we want to stop it. You know what I just heard you say?

I'm sending you to prison for 20 years. Oh, my God. Are you still on that? It's

been, like, 20 years.

You locked me up and threw away the key.

I didn't know that was the only copy.

Look, Tribeca.

That was a different time. Back then, putting people in jail was all the rage,

and I guess I just jumped on the bandwagon.

All I care about is the safety of this nation. That's why I brought you on

board. Because I knew I could count on you.

So, can I count on you to care about the safety of our nation?

Yes, sir.

All right, then.

BoneDevil666 is recovering in a hospital bed in Little Rock, Arkansas.

It's the gaming capital of the United States.

Find out who attacked him and why.

And, even though everything you're doing will be perfectly legal, don't tell

anyone anything unless you follow up with, just kidding.

So you didn't get a look at the guy who attacked you?

I just remember he was wearing a ski mask.

Lose the attitude, you little...

Now, it's gonna be painful, but I want to get your fingers moving.

I can't do it.

Who are these people?

What are they doing here?

We're trying to get to the bottom of who attacked Mr. Boneson. A better question

might be, who are you? And an even better question might be, if

prostitution is the oldest profession in the world, who earned the money to pay

for the first prostitute?

I'm Becky Bunker, and it's obvious what happened.

Someone, who probably doesn't stand for the national anthem, didn't want him to

become world champion.

Yeah, well, it doesn't seem like Mr.

Jellyfingers over here even cares about the world championships.

You couldn't be more wrong. Voyage Quest is his life. I don't know who told you

otherwise. Actually, Beck, I'm just done with this whole thing.

I think I'm just gonna get a job teaching animals to play video games.

You don't know what you're saying, grown devil. We had plans, right? We were

gonna buy that Fuddruckers with your winnings.

Trebecca.

Right away, sir.

This just in. The attacker turned himself in to Little Rock PD. He's at

the station now.

Don't you think we should have a word with him before somebody else does?

How much longer do I have to wait here?

I'm trying to confess to a crime!

Take a number.

I want answers.

I want them now!

Just

do

it. Just get it over with. We just want to know what happened.

They're going to come after me, man.

They're going to kill you because of what you did to Paul Boneson? Yes!

Keep me quiet.

Do you know them?

It's my team.

It's Sharkspark. They're me. I'm them. Why would Sharkspark want to go after

its own players?

It's all about coins, man.

All they want is coins.

They? The company?

It's the company working with the gamers, working with the mafia, working

with the CIA, working with a temp agency.

This is a riddle wrapped in a sudoku, tied up with a crossword, suspended over

the jumble, and they're gonna come after me.

I'm a dead man.

Look. We're going to keep you safe. You can't keep me safe from them. We're

supposed to try.

Let me take him to a motel, sit with him until he calms down.

Are you sure?

We don't even really know what's going on.

You said it yourself, it's a stupid case.

You have nothing to worry about.

I won't let you out of my sight.

I'm gonna run in for some beer real quick. You want anything?

Could you please hurry?

Yeah, totally. I'll be right back.

Should I get this ski mask?

You know what?

I'm never gonna use this.

Crazy sale on knives, dude!

You want one?

I'm getting you one.

Yo!

They're doing free tank rides!

You gotta try it!

Shit, right, the beer.

Finally.

Can we get out of here?

No need, dude.

Beer's on me.

You're a fudge-sickle. You're a cream-sickle. You're a bomb-pop.

Hey!

Hey!

A man died here! Have a little respect!

I want in!

I found something.

What the hell is that?

It's like a dollar, but not.

No, no, no. It's got too many colors.

It's a euro.

Maybe fake money from a board game? Look at this seam of silver going through it.

It's a euro.

It's money they use in Europe. Whatever it is, it scares the hell out of me. I

can slip this to a contact I have at the Mint off the record.

So we have a kid carrying some kind of spooky money in his pocket.

A euro.

Someone needs to go undercover with this.

Shark Spark gaming team.

I'll do it.

Mom, you've never played a video game in your life.

I played Simon.

That's not a video game. It had a battery. No, it needs to be me.

The one good thing about being abandoned at the age of two is that every foster

home I was placed in had a different video game system.

AJ's our man. No. No, no, no. It's too dangerous.

I must have missed the meeting where you decide which missions I go on and which

I don't. It was on the calendar. I am not saying this as your mother. I am

saying this as somebody who has 30 years of experience.

20 of which were behind bars.

You listen to me, you little punk. Hey!

Break it up! You stay out of this! Hey!

Hands off the big man!

Everybody's picking on Tribeca and I don't like it! Break it up!

Where's AJ?

What do you want, idiot?

Heard you downed a couple gamers.

Thanks, Google News Alert.

What else you got for me?

Oh, well, just so happens I'm looking for a new team.

Sorry, new phone.

Who dis?

Look, we both know gold coins are where it's at, bro.

Just so happens I just took second place at the Slovenian Voyage Quest

Championships with over 10 million gold coins.

Slovenia? That's hardcore.

Baguette Bardot, 1-800-555-1212, won that, didn't she? You don't beat

Baguette Bardot.

Not on her worst day.

Come on in.

Have a seat. Grab a headset.

You can show us what you got.

Oh.

Want a little something to get your engine running before I check you out?

Uh, I don't recognize that brand.

That's because it's illegal, bitch.

It's strawberry lemonade mixed with horse adrenaline.

They used to give it to the NASA monkeys to keep them awake in space.

Well, sure, I'll try it.

Okay, so all you gotta do is grab the spear, kill a lesser nerblet, and raid

his hut for the coins.

That sounds easy!

Yeah, right.

Now do it.

Well, why stop there?

Tie my hands.

And... go.

You can have Ozzy's room.

We haven't seen Ozzy for a couple days, so I guess all the stuff is yours now.

Hey, man, is that the bathroom? Because this horse adrenaline is going right

through me. Yeah, don't freak out if you fill up the whole bowl, okay?

Welcome to Shark Spark.

Hello?

You got a bad washer in here. I should have one in my truck.

Okay, thanks.

So you're the new number one around here.

Looks that way.

Being number one comes with certain perks.

And what are those?

Full medical, dental, and optical coverage, including one pair of free

glasses per year.

Designer brands included?

Oh, yes.

Sounds like I'm going to be well taken care of.

Oh, I almost forgot.

You get a free team shirt.

Do I get the team bra?

Let's see how good of a player you are.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

You're amazing.

You want to give it a shot?

No, I don't understand these games. I just like to watch.

Ooh, grab the coins. Grab the coins. What is it with you people and the

coins? It's not how you win. God, this mattress sucks.

What is it with you people and getting killed?

He's crazy. He'll stop at nothing.

Who? You don't understand.

This is so much bigger than... No, no, no. Wait, wait. Don't start that. Just

let me think.

Gold coins. Everybody wants gold coins.

Then this kid somehow has got piles of fake money. It's got to be connected.

It is connected. I can tell you. Just shut up for a second. I'm trying to

piece this thing together.

What if it isn't fake money?

What if it's real money and the coins are... He's laundering money. Kenya,

just be quiet for five seconds.

Okay, so you got fake money going in, real money coming back. Oh, it's

laundering. Of course.

Bone devil, he doesn't want to collect coins, so he's useless.

So Ozzy takes him out, but Ozzy's got a big mouth, so they take Ozzy out. Ozzy's

dead? Kenya, just shush.

You need to protect me, because if he thinks I talked, he's... Look, I am

definitely good at protecting people. You don't need to worry about that.

But I need to meet this big guy who's running everything.

Absolutely not. No way. Oh, come on.

There's no way I can finish it.

It's an international money laundering scheme. The money changes hands through

the gold coins in Voyage Quest.

Oh, and those weird paper rectangles we found?

They're called euros.

This is from my buddy at the Mint.

They're called euros.

Oh, and Becky, who was Bone Devil's girlfriend but is now my girlfriend,

I'll get to that in a second, she's going to arrange a meet-up with the head

of the whole operation.

That's great. We'll go in as a team, fully armed. No, no, no.

It has to be only me.

No, we... All right, just don't let your guard down because some floozy let you

jiggle her love button.

You can't push someone else's button in this game. You can in Simon. All right,

everybody, just stop.

All right, AJ, it's all you.

Come

in.

Come in.

Pay no attention to the rainbow.

So beautiful, don't you think?

Firebird!

Bienvenue. Welcome.

My name is Pierre Cardin.

And I hear that you are the new chef du jeu video.

Yeah, I guess. I mean, some people think I'm pretty good.

Pretty good.

Pretty good, mon dieu.

But you delight me with your modesty.

He's actually one of the best I've ever seen.

You know, people love to throw around this word, best.

Best buy.

Seattle's best coffee.

This country's best yogurt.

But these are just words, no? Would you be willing to, say, stake your life on

the fact that you are the best?

I'm not sure I follow.

This is the latest in VR gaming.

You will be completely, totally immersed in the virtual landscape of Voyage

Quest. You will not only see and hear everything around you, but this is also

what we call total biological simulation.

Or total BS.

Wouldn't that be TBS?

Very funny.

What I mean to say is that this game will connect to your central nervous

system.

Whatever the avatar experiences in the game, the game player will experience as

well. If, for example, your avatar were to die,

the human controller would die as well.

Mom! Jesus Christ, AJ, get out of there!

All right, let's give this a whirl.

Now, how exactly do you make the... The game is now connected to your spinal

cord.

Honey, oh, okay.

Okay, so you got tennis, ping pong.

Keep scrolling down.

Voyage quest.

Now hit the virtual start button.

I'm in.

Wow!

So real.

I can feel the breeze.

Becky,

what the hell?

Back at Bardot?

The world's best gamer.

Enchanté.

Obviously, the only way for me to actually know if you are the best is for

you to play my champion.

So, the rules will be as follows.

If Baguette wins, well, you die.

But if you win, I will allow you to arrest me for money laundering and

international espionage.

Angela Giles, Jr.

He's made.

He's made! I don't like this!

We wasted an entire half sandwich!

Jules, you have to hack into the game. You have to get him out of there!

It's... beautiful.

Space...

Control Blanket!

Can I give him... Grease Pencil!

Banana Peel!

Ice Mushroom!

Fire Blade!

Clove of Poster Mason! Porn of Plenty!

Simon says you're dead.

No.

You son of a...

Cardan's

in the wind.

Cardan's in the wind!

Don't sweat it. We'll pick you up in 20.

Cardan will get his.

Roger that.