Original subtitles

Bring it all in, because now is the time.

Rick, don't get mad, but I stole your portal gun. What the fuck, Morty? I told

you I didn't want the damn selfie 800 times.

Look, whatever the hell is going on between you and the president has

nothing to do with me. So where did you go? I can't tell you. Rick, you should

tell my mom. She might be a clone. No, I told her she wasn't. Well, isn't that

what you tell a clone? Oh, for Christ's sake. Rick, my mom and dad are getting

back together. What? No, she's not a clone.

Well, she says it doesn't matter if she is or isn't because now she loves my dad

and she wanted me and Summer to come home. We're hiding from you so you don't

kill her. Nick, she's a clone in a place I picked that you will never find. So

don't look for us.

Come on, bitch. Oh, you come on, bitch. I'm out. I'm done.

Cut.

So I live, and I'm in charge, and you can't see. You're a terrorist. You're an

enemy of the state, and you hit me in the balls ten minutes ago. The office of

the president can't coexist with a living dog that won't submit to him. I

mean, decide, decide.

But he's locked up in Area 51 already, so that doesn't count.

Mr. President, I'm making a deal.

If you let me use your get-up-ass-off-brand deficit-tripling

teleporter, if you go take care of something, you'll never see me again.

Yes, dear.

If it's a trooper, stand down.

Yeah, yeah, I hope you hear it.

This ends now.

Dad? If you're my dad. Of course you're not my dad. You're here with a gun

because I'm a plumber.

I guess I have all your daughter's memories, so I guess I was her, which

makes me related to her, but I don't relate to her. She left her family. And

me. Which means I relate to them. So if you kill me, fine.

You're not killing her. But you're killing a real family.

And instead of doing that, will you just go away?

Are there like infinite timelines?

Can't you just move to one where I don't know I'm a clone and where a different,

identical version of your...

Authentic, so-so, crazy bitch of a daughter can keep making you proud of

being somewhere else.

Beth, you crazy bitch, you're my daughter.

I brought this here to kill Jerry.

Jesus Christ!

Yeah, yeah, yeah, you win, Jerry.

You win!

No amount of genius can stop your dumb, mediocre, vacuous roots from digging

into everything and everyone around you and draining them of any ability to vent

you off.

Well, I couldn't have anything for you to say then. I appreciate it. Morty,

where's my portal gun? Let's get out of here.

I'm staying here, Rick. Are you?

Nobody gets it. Nothing you think matters matters.

This isn't special.

This is happening infinite times across infinite realities.

Including this?

Yes!

Just not to say that it subjectively wasn't funny. Are you going to stay?

There's infinite timelines, Morty. Why would I stay in the one where I trashed

the White House and became an enemy of America and the lowest status character

in my idiot family?

I can't put my makeup on.

I have to stay strong, but I have to keep talking.

Dad, we can't talk to Jerry that way anymore.

We're a real family now.

In your case, things will be like season one, but more strange. Now Jerry and I

are happily buried parents and the idea that I was motivated by a fear of being

weak can be a shoe.

And Sierra, you've never used that. You are a fool.

It's not like Brooke would tell us.

I'm fucking up my makeup already.

And I'm crying already. You look good.

I have a shoe. I can't do it.

You know she look good. Look how good she is.

It's truck month.

Time to be fearless and bold.

It's time to stop waiting.

It's time for you to be a lamb.

Now during Ram Truck Month, get 1.9% financing for 72 months or 10% below

MSRP.

You just got me

Oh

Did he kill you?

I got more in the chamber.

The fuck

is

wrong with you

What are you doing?