Original subtitles

I'll tell you what, Frank.

Your cousin Marvin, he's not coming because he's got the gout.

Who has the gout at 45?

The gout. He's too young. I'm telling you, I don't believe it. I think he's at

the track. He's got a gambling problem.

The man has gout, Estelle. Gout. What do you want him to do? Crawl here on his

hands and knees?

What about your sister Shirley? A hair appointment?

She has a hair appointment on Rosh Hashanah?

She'd rather get her hair done than come spend time with her family.

Look at the family.

I don't blame. Don't bring Shirley into this, okay? Don't bring Shirley into

this. Look at your family. Nothing but a bunch of losers and lowlifes. Lazy

losers. Austin, put your phone down.

It's holiday for God's sakes. What are you talking about? I'm doing this.

What's he doing?

Look at him. He's doing nothing.

Look, look, look.

He's watching porn. Porn.

On the day of the holiness.

Yeah, he gets that porn stuff from you. That's my son, the doctor. So you leave

my son, the doctor, alone, okay?

I'm like your brother, the electrician.

Look at me. I can change a light bulb. What kind of family member is that?

I'm a doctor. I can change a light bulb. He's not a doctor yet, Estelle. He's in

medical school.

Okay, almost.

All right, he's watching the anatomy, so he's de-stressing.

Okay, so are we going to get this holiday done? We're going to get this

started, and we're going to have a blessed, blessed holiday. Let's get it

done. So we need you. Oh, my God. I remember when the horn was a lot bigger

than this.

It was on sale.

We're going to do the horn.

Yes, we have to do the horn. It's part of the holiday tradition.

Give me the horn.

Blow the horn. Blow it already.

Blow the horn. Don't blow the horn.

Okay, I'll blow the horn.

There. You happy?

Can we please eat now?

Yes. So let's start.

First... For the Happy New Year, we must start with something sweet.

We're going to start with the apples and the honey.

Okay?

What are you doing?

Austin, can you get your stepsister, Lily? Get her off the phone.

Me? Yeah, you. Get her off the phone. Be a good example, please.

She's your daughter. Get her off the phone.

So we have to have sweet holiday starting or else the year is going to be

sour. It has to be sweet.

What are you guys talking about?

These kids have not learned anything over the years.

Thank you, Austin, my little boy. Thank you so much.

At least he can do one thing right.

He does a lot right. You leave him alone.

He's almost as lazy as your sister, Shirley.

Leave Shirley at it? What about Marvin and his tracksuit? I guarantee you he

comes walking in in his tracksuit.

Marvin this Marvin that what is to do with Marvin?

You're right. You know what?

Yeah, they're being really loud Why are we interrupting your phone respect?

Do you remember the day before I married you that brisket was only $1.99 a pound

ever since then it's just gone up and up and up brisket not like Marvin brisket

this What are you guys arguing over? Do you think brisket's my fault now? Of

course it is. If I wouldn't have married you, it'd still be $1.99.

Oh, my God. If I wouldn't have married you, never mind. Where would you be?

Where would you be? You'd still be out in the fields milking cows.

No, you remember Harvey?

Yeah, I remember Harvey.

He's the one that did the brisket on your son.

Harvey wanted to marry me.

Ha! You should have married Harvey, Mom.

The guy makes nothing with all the coupons he gives out.

My god, let's change the subject, please.

We're gonna start the week, right? We have to start it out sweet Are you are

you we're supposed to be sweet like honey that you keep saying? Yes. So

honey, how's your school?

School is great Pre-med college. Yeah, I know perfect attendance. The teacher

loves me, right? I go in there after class I asked her I'm like, hey, what

are the answers to this homework that you assigned us? Like how am I supposed

to know this stuff?

She literally sit there and give me all the answers. Yeah, he didn't know

anything. He's gonna be so successful.

Maybe if you had more Jewish friends, you'd be more focused.

More Jewish friends?

All my friends are Jewish.

It's your daughter that has all the shiksas. Look at her. She sits on the

phone the whole time just, yeah, yeah, yeah. She doesn't even know we're

talking about her. You leave my little girl alone.

She doesn't even know we're talking about her. She's a sweetheart. Thank

you. You see?

Let's go back to being sweet.

Gosh, Brisket, think about all the other things that went up since then.

Not you.

Not me? How could you say that?

Every night I try and I try and I try.

It's not my fault I'm getting old.

Well, maybe we should see that doctor.

Again with the doctor.

Listen, if you can find them with a decent price, then maybe I'll go. Oh,

again with the price.

You get quality. You get what you pay for. Look what happened at his brisk.

It's not my fault. The coupon said 35% off. I didn't realize they were gonna

take 35% off.

I don't know. I don't know. You want an apple, honey? Let's try. Let's try to be

sweet. Why are you so worried about brisket? We have apples, bananas,

grapes, bread. Some people don't have bread.

Thank you for looking at the positive side. That's my son.

Yeah, she put this whole spread together for us.

Thank you, Austin.

Thank you so much.

Speaking of bread, I heard you invited the Goldbergs. You know I hate the

Goldbergs, don't you? The husband, always with that lame joke about the

penguin and the rabbi. The penguin and the rabbi. It's funny. It's called

humor. You don't have a sense of humor. It's not funny. Frank, it's hilarious.

It's anti-funny. It's the opposite of funny. It is not funny.

You're anti-funny, Frank.

How dare you?

Respect me in my own home. Oh.

Are you listening?

No, I'm not.

What's wrong?

Enough with the phone already. Put down the phone. She's not even listening. You

understand that we're here to commemorate the new year.

You guys are just arguing. It's kind of annoying.

Well, this is our heritage. This is your family and we have to do... My heritage.

I can't get through to her no matter what.

How do you expect me to?

I don't know what we're going to do.

Austin, can you please be a good influence on your little sister?

Yes, that's...

What I'm doing? Remember when you borrowed the car? You didn't even fill

it up with gas. What's the number one rule?

Borrow the car? Fill it with gas.

Is that so hard to remember?

He's even listening to me. I don't understand.

His mind is always... Yes, gas this, gas that. I'll fill the car up.

Speaking about gas, remember how much that was when we got married, Frank?

Yes, it was cheaper.

And after I married you, everything became more expensive.

Oh, gosh. I can't wait that. Your son, all he worries about is what's on his

phone. Naked ladies. I don't understand if he's going to be a doctor. There's no

reason to be looking at porn. He'll be looking at me It's anatomy Frank. It's

anatomy and not to be this anatomy that his phones over there. Look at your

daughter She didn't even acknowledge we talked to her. She's a social. Yeah,

just that I'd rather not speak That's go listen to them sweetheart.

You keep doing what you're doing

Well, I don't understand.

How could you forget the butter? Where's the butter?

Come with me. You have to help me find the butter.

Everything I do in this family, I don't understand why I gotta do everything.

Oh, who put this spread together?

And the whole house is only one little thing of butter. I don't understand.

You went to go do grocery shopping.

Did you forget what today was?

How could I forget? You were harping on it for the last month.

I'm so happy to see them getting along.

There's no reason why they shouldn't get along.

I know.

Fine.

You don't have to twist my arm.

I should probably cut it off. How much weight have you gained?

Too much.

Hello?

Oh, yeah. I'm still at dinner.

Look at that.

She's even on the phone.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, I'm just eating right now.

Oh my gosh, that's so funny. I thought.

Yes, it did.

Honey, please don't spoil your appetite.

Well, I'll call you in a little bit.

Okay.

I'm kind of glad Morgan didn't show up.

So am I. I know.

You know how much money I spent on this?

Thank God it's only once a year.

Why the hell is the honey over there? Bring the honey back. I don't

understand. The honey was here and now it's over there. It should be right

here. Your daughter probably moved it.

Don't get no honey on the carpet.

You know how much it'll cost to clean that carpet?

We'll just have to get a new one.

Oh, we'd have to make them work.

They can get jobs.

They got two hands. They got two feet.

It's not while he's in school.

All he does is party all day.

He's in school.

This is gonna be a doctor. When's he gonna be a doctor? How long has he been

excluded in school for?

It's already been four or five years, I think.

How long does it take?

Please. You promised me that you would at least respect our traditions and our

heritage. I am. I'm doing everything right.

You're only 99% there, honey.

Speaking of which, your father's right.

Your father's right.

He's always right, Mom.

We need to put your head wrap on.

What? The phone, the head wrap?

Once she sits at the table, we have to cover her head and honor the tradition.

What are you doing?

Maybe we'll just wait until she gets to the table. She's busy now, so let's just

wait. Once she's in her seat, we'll try it again.

You can at least make me happy for 10 seconds. There you go. There's your 10

seconds. 10 seconds.

There you go.

Thank you. Thank you. At least.

Oy vey.

I asked for so little.

And I asked for a lot.

And I get so little.

It's not my fault.

I'm not a grower. I'm a shower.

I don't know what happened to you.

What happened to me? What happened to you?

You know I need estrogen.

I think estrogen is on sale.

It's either that or my beautiful

head of hair.

I'll give you that much.

It's so thick we can't even see your yarmulke.

It's there.

I see it.

Graves before the bananas? Are you crazy?

You can't have grapes before the bananas. What's wrong with you?

Damn it Estelle. Every time I think you're doing good, you're doing bad.

Oh my gosh.

And that's what I see about you Estelle.

You're telling me that I have a problem.

If I have a problem, it was marrying you.

Do you understand?

Yeah, I'm gonna slice the banana right now. You ready for yours?

I could've married Betty Horowitz!

No you couldn't have.

You're married to my mom, okay?

Why do I always gotta get lip from your son?

I don't understand.

Because like a good boy, he stands up for his mother.

Who do you think's paying for your medical school, huh?

Huh? Mom.

Mom's paying for it through me.

Why do you think I married you? She did something right.

That's right. It's the only thing you did right.

Oh, gosh.

I don't know where this marriage is going.

But it better get there fast.

How'd you like my horn blowing?

It was a little bit better this year. It was a lot better this year. You need

some room?

Here you go.

It was definitely a lot better this year.

So, Lily, what do you plan to do this new year?

What?

What are you planning to do this new year? What are your hopes and dreams and

aspirations as we start this new year?

My hopes and dreams and aspirations?

Honestly,

I can't think of any right now.

Sweetie, are you still dating that boy, Osho?

What? Are you still dating that boy, Herschel?

Herschel? Uh... I... Um, no, I'm not. I don't think so.

What happened?

He was so nice.

Yeah, but I think we're kind of, like, in the middle of breaking up.

You know, his father was an attorney.

Do you even care?

Not really.

You should.

Having an attorney in the family would be a big thing.

I guess.

It'd be really good.

Better than an electrician.

Again with the electrician.

But, I mean, what do you guys know? You guys argue all the time. I don't really

think you're in a place to give advice anywhere.

Well, it's not about that. It's about your security, your future.

You have to look at the future, not just what you're doing day to day.

I normally would tell you to not listen to her, but that you should listen.

And about my cousin being an electrician.

At least he's making money.

Unlike our son there, who's still in medical school. I feel like he's been in

there for way too long.

You know that it's seven years.

Seven years?

Seven years? He's been already in there for how long?

That's a pretty long time.

You stay out of this. Me and your mother are arguing.

Oh, shit.

I don't know. You don't know. I know. We have to start the new year on a good,

sweet foot.

We're going to start.

Sweet foot? What does that even mean? Sweet foot?

How about sweet hands?

If it weren't for marrying you, I would have been somebody already.

Why don't you guys just get divorced?

Get divorced? What's wrong with you? Because we don't have enough money to

pay for the rabbi. We gave it all for Austin's school.

You know that it's from... Austin, Austin, Austin.

Yes, you remember Rabbi Benjamin Wildman, don't you?

Yeah, I'm going to be a doctor.

Yeah, I'm going to be a doctor.

We sure hope so.

I don't care.

We're all banking on that, son.

Literally. That's why you paid for it.

Well, then bring your grades up.

Perfect attendance, like I said.

Just because you're there doesn't mean you're learning.

I'm tired of seeing B's and C's.

You got to get A's.

Well, I get distracted.

Everybody gets distracted.

Well, you know that C students are the ones that rule the world.

How do you figure that?

It's a saying. Who needs a straight A when you can pass with a C? It's your

fault for me listening to you about this whole modernization.

Our children have tattoos.

How are we going to bury them in a Jewish cemetery?

I knew that that was going to happen. Every time you see my tattoos, you have

to say that. Like, get over it.

I'm perplexed. It's very hot in here.

Again with the hot. You understand electricity is expensive.

I keep the air conditioner at a nice breezy 89 degrees.

It's hot in here. It's warm. Even the kids are working up a sweat.

You didn't hear our people complaining when they crossed the desert, did you?

It was hot then.

It's hot now.

What does it matter?

We're not in a desert now.

I'm hot.

Just pretend you are.

I don't want to hear your complaints anymore. I'm literally still at the

stupid dinner. Oh my gosh.

So much going on right now.

I'm making sure they have some plates.

I mean, I don't know. Give me like 30 more minutes and I'll call you back.

Yeah, I know. I'm so annoying. I should be done by now.

So did you even hear from Marvin?

No, I think he was in a car accident.

First it's the gal, then it's the trap.

What is this I'm hearing?

Are you making plans?

You know you have to stay here until two days from now.

Lily, are you listening to me?

What? Sorry.

You can't be making plans with your friends today on Rosh Hashanah. You

gotta stay here.

Oh yeah, definitely.

Definitely nothing.

I'm gonna keep your window locked.

Do you hear how she talks to me?

Our daughter's learning bad habits from our son.

He's gonna be more respectful.

She learns from him, you know.

She looks up to him.

She may not want to admit it, but it's true.

It looks like he's looking up to her right now.

It works both ways, Frank.

So, Lily, what are your hopes and aspirations?

I don't think you already asked this.

Don't talk back to your mother.

Just answer again.

I don't have any.

The mouth on me. Is that a good answer?

Have you considered going to medical school?

Yeah, I could probably do it.

How are your grades in college right now?

They're good.

Listen, little girl, you're the smartest daughter I know, all right? If it wasn't

for you, we don't know where we would be.

So you're going to have to make a choice.

If you go to school, great. If you don't, we're going to have to send you

to the old country.

You want to visit Israel?

Um, I mean, like, I'd really rather not do any of that.

But what about marrying Harvey?

I don't want Harvey.

Is there anyone that you want? No.

She doesn't want Harvey or Herschel.

Maybe she just hasn't met the right guy. Can you make, like, a non, like, date?

No Excuse me one thing boring about

You have to look at your future CPAs doctor lawyer

Modernization

talk to your dog. Talk some sense of truth.

She's our daughter. Why are you guys fucking?

Kind of weird We're cutting grapes because our people didn't have anything

when they crossed the desert. Do you understand?

So one grape had to be sliced into eight slices for eight different families to

be able to sustain themselves.

You must learn these things. I don't understand how you don't know this.

Um, yeah, I know that.

Then don't ask me silly questions.

You know what? Sorry, it won't happen again, Dad.

You're damn right it won't happen again.

Maybe it's her learning and retention Are

you trying to say that our little girl can't focus?

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. She probably gets that from you

You

have to admit between the two of us I'm the sharper

one

I'm not ignoring you. You know that, Frank.

And now you're cutting apples and bananas?

See what I mean? No retention whatsoever.

What did your father say about the grapes?

There were three million people crossing the desert.

Alright? They had two bananas, four apples, and one bushel of grapes. And

that had to feed all of them.

It had to be sliced up into tiny little pieces.

Now do you get it? No.

Are you paying attention?

Not really.

You should.

These kids nowadays.

I really think we should think about sending her to Israel over the summer.

Can you find a cute boy for me to go with?

As long as... Not these nerds. I'm done with the nerds, okay? I already have to

get up with you guys.

How dare you?

She does understand that our people are not nerds. Not at all.

No. You like money, don't you? I love money, but I don't like the nerdy money.

I don't know what to tell her.

I don't either.

Hello?

We're getting with the hangout.

I know.

Dinner's taking so long.

We just don't shut up.

Ridiculous because like I've been trying to literally get out of this we do it

every fucking

Whatever. I'll stay for two days.

Very good.

Then I can go live my life?

After that, yes.

Finally. You can do what you want.

I know I can do what I want.

Don't forget, your sister looks up to you.

Okay?

I'm trying to set a good example.

I am.

Perfect attendance.

I'm in medical school. She said she wants to go.

Yeah.

I don't know how we're going to be able to afford two children going to medical

school.

We'll have to go see the accountant.

Let's see if we can figure out a way to manage it.

Maybe cash in one of those IRAs or something?

I know this is kind of a stretch, but do you think possibly, honey, if we go

visit the accountant, you think maybe you...

Could possibly, you know, you know.

No, I don't know.

Tell me, expand, Frank.

The same reason I married you. You could perhaps use your feminine wiles to win

him over. Oh, of course.

For a second, I thought you were going to say I had to get a job. No, of course

not. Okay. I'm just saying, wear something sexy and flattering.

Like this?

No, the dress that goes even lower.

Okay, I will.

He'll dig that a lot. Oh.

You're such a devil's friend. I'm always thinking.

Yeah, you are.

Oh, shit.

Either that or otherwise you're going to have to find a coupon. Do you guys ever

stop talking? Just wondering.

The mouth on you.

Continue, continue.

I don't understand how there's no respect from them.

I don't know.

Shit.

I'll do everything right for you guys.

I'm like the best daughter you could ask for, so.

Austin, can I ask a favor from you? What do you need?

I'm going to need you one day to please talk to your little sister and explain

to her the hierarchy of this family.

Are you even listening to me? No, he's not.

Well,

this is how it works, Austin.

First comes me, then comes your mother, then comes you, and then your little

sister. Why am I laughing?

Because you're the youngest.

I knew I was last.

And you always try to act like I'm the best.

You're only last because you're the youngest.

How does she not understand that?

I mean, they do say save the best for last.

Save the best for last.

On this beautiful day, the things that are asked of us.

They're very difficult, you know.

I know.

It's hard to just survive off a fruit.

But we're starting a whole new year.

And we have to count our blessings.

And we still have to plan. We have to plan for the future.

I really hope you're not ruining your appetite.

Talking to both of you.

The only thing I've seen exchanged between either of you is honey.

Here, do you want a banana?

No.

She can't handle a banana.

A grape.

It's too starchy.

I'll have a grape, I guess.

Make sure you slice it. No, a whole grape for one person? Are you crazy?

I don't have it.

It's a holiday.

Let her have it. That one grape, you need to feed ten families.

Oh, shit.

First grape.

I ate one, too.

Oh, shit.

You guys expect so much of me.

It's ridiculous.

Maybe we are being a little bit too hard on her, you think? It's possible.

There's not a manual that comes with being a parent, though. Maybe if she

brought up her grades. Maybe you should get one.

Maybe if she brought up her grades, we'd be nicer.

You know what? Maybe that's a good idea.

You and I should create a manual on how to be the perfect parents.

We already are the perfect parents. Yes. And even if we made a manual, she

wouldn't be able to read it.

No, but we can make money off of our manual.

You mean other parents. Oh, that's a great idea. Yeah, we can sell it.

I like that. I like that. Because after all, we are model parents.

Oh, my goodness.

Agreed.

It'd be nice to have income coming from somewhere else. Yeah.

Let's start working. I mean, at least you guys made this stuff.

That's the best thing you could do.

And if we were able to make just a few more dollars, I'd be able to bring the

AC from 89 degrees to 88.

Frank, what is the humor you have?

What humor?

I'm being honest.

Oh my gosh.

I cannot wait to go out tonight.

Excuse me?

I wasn't talking to you until now.

Frank,

talk to her.

Sweetie, you're not stepping one foot out of this house. I hope you're aware

of that.

Yeah, for sure. Whatever you say, Dad.

Yeah, you see? She understands.

I'm still thinking about the manual.

We're going to have to do the parenting manual.

You can write it. I'll sign it.

Okay. Now I have to do all the work.

What else do you do around here?

Oh my goodness.

Look at the spread.

What do you... The house is great.

But it's filthy.

You haven't cleaned for the last month.

That will be my prayer for the new year.

Okay?

I will work on it, Frank. What are you going to work on?

You know what I'm going to work on?

I'm going to work on having you be quiet for once.

Can you be quiet for once?

Look how he talks to me.

The day you get straight A's is the day I'll take orders from you. That's the

only thing you guys have to say. Just be quiet.

Jeez.

The day your brother gets straight A's is the day I'll take orders from him.

Until you have those three little letters on the back of your name that

say PhD, don't tell me anything. Yeah, it's coming. Don't worry.

You know what the problem is?

Which problem?

Our son's problem.

We have so many. He wasn't spanked enough as a child.

The Bible does say, spare the rod for the child.

What it should say is, smack the child more than once.

Careful your blood sugar.

I know you're right.

I'm still hot That is a lot I need to watch all this fruit

all the sweet

It's ridiculous.

It's a different generation now. I don't understand.

What's your favorite color on me, pink or red?

Who are you talking to, Lily?

You guys.

Our favorite color on you?

Yeah. Pink, of course. You're a girl.

I'm going to wear that tonight.

Thank you.

You should wear red.

Red? Red is for hussies.

Okay, red.

Excuse me, friend.

Like my lovely wife.

Look.

Surely you just...

Okay,

so red dress.

Pink is for little girls.

So cute can't wait to get it you're gonna be quiet I'm gonna be quiet

So we can enjoy this lovely day Mmm

you like this dress perfect color red not pink

She's gonna have another thing coming if she thinks she's gonna get out of this

house tonight.

Austin, you don't have plans, do you? Not for two days.

Okay, good.

What a good boy he is. You see that? I know.

I know.

Hopefully he rubs off on his sister.

Yes. Please, teach her.

We need you to rub off on her.

He's doing something Look

how beautiful

I

Wonder what time the Goldbergs

are coming over. Oh my gosh.

I hope they lost the address

With any luck, they've fallen into a ditch.

I love the sense in your brain. You need some room, honey?

Come on, honey.

Come on, boy. Come here.

Come here. Come here, silly.

You guys

are

still cutting up fucking fruits?

Watch your language. It's not becoming of a lady to curse.

Listen to your mother.

Yeah, I do listen to her.

You

know

she really should have her head wrap on right now.

She has no respect for her culture. I know.

It'd be nice if while she was distracted,

you were able to wrap it around her head.

I tried once. You see where that got me? You didn't get me too far.

You know, she almost put your hand up.

What you don't have any nice friends that perhaps you can introduce to your

little sister

Maybe

you can bring one

of them home so we can meet them

The sooner you find a nice boy, the sooner you can get married.

Wouldn't that be nice? Wouldn't you like to get married?

I mean, I don't know.

Like, you have so many questions.

How am I supposed to focus?

Give me one thing to focus on.

You can focus on your future. How about that? I do.

All the time. I do everything that you guys ask of me.

She says it, but I don't believe it You

could

always be a little better

It's not

what you do wrong

It's what you don't do right.

What don't I do right?

Almost everything.

Almost.

So do you

know who's moving into the...

old Feinstein house.

Who? I was asking if you knew.

No, I didn't.

Thank you.

There you go.

Yeah, that house has been vacant forever.

You mean down the one on Mabel Street?

Yeah, it's a beautiful house.

I think Sarah Roth is the listing agent on it.

Yes, it sounds it's gonna raise the cops in our area.

You know, perhaps if we had a little bit more income, we could look into getting

it and then we could rent it.

Exactly. You guys need more income so that I can go shopping more.

Will you please help him with this? Will you please help him?

You know what? The clip. Take the clip. Remove the clip.

Open it. Open it. There you go.

All right, pop it off. Now, make sure you thread it properly.

There we go.

Yeah, perfect.

Looks great.

Missy. Thank you. Oh, God, please don't try again.

Listen to her.

Listen to her.

What? You got to have some respect in this house, and especially on this day.

Why? Please. Please.

Attempt one more time.

I mean, like, if you insist, I guess.

Like, it's not that big of a deal.

Okay. How about if you care about this, I might let you go out tonight. How

about that? I'm going out regardless, but... How dare you talk to me in this

fashion?

Yeah, that looks good. It's just so hard to do this while you're moving around

like that, but You look like that beautiful singer. What was her name?

Stacey Hatch.

No idea who that is.

Your mother does.

Mom, get that on her head, please.

I try.

It's just hard.

What matters is that you try.

Thank you, Frank. Thank you. She always tries and fails, but it's okay.

But now you look lovely.

Whatever.

I always look lovely, Dad.

Yes, I know you do.

Like the worst dinner in the world. Are you guys not done yet?

You guys haven't even started.

We're in the middle of something.

We know that, bub.

I'll drink.

Mom, get these plates out the way.

Not until everybody comes and we go through our regular ceremony for New

Year's.

It's a new year for us, and we're still waiting. Do you think Morgan's going to

bring it?

No. I doubt it.

What about the Goldsteins? Are they coming?

Don't talk to me about the Goldsteins again.

He doesn't want to hear about the Goldsteins, Mom.

I hate them.

I don't know why you invited them.

Because they got money.

They got money, but they're not bringing anything with them. They expect us to

feed them.

That is true, Frank.

You're right. You're right about that. They always come empty-handed every

year. Why don't you tell them to bring something?

Tell them to bring something.

That would be rude.

You can't say it.

They just have to know it.

Exactly.

It's like there's a friggin' earthquake or something. I don't understand.

They're doing something right.

Yes, it's so dramatic.

Maybe we're not dramatic enough.

Hey, watch your mouth at the table.

Well,

one good thing, he got her to put her phone down.

Boston can be a good boy when he tries.

Maybe that's the destruction she needs.

What she needs is a good spanking. That's what she needs.

You always say that, Dad. Like, relax.

I'm a good girl.

Again, she says it. I just don't believe it.

Oh, Frank.

You got something to say?

No. Good. Keep your mouth shut.

Frank.

After 34 years of marriage, you're finally learning.

Talking to me I'm talking to you the day that you stops talking to me That'll be

the day my dream comes true, right?

I can't imagine how lovely the silence will be But

that's why you look

you guys do not love each other

What do you do?

What do you do about love?

A lot more than you do.

You haven't even had a boyfriend yet.

I don't need one.

Oh, you're so smart, this one. Ooh, come on, come on. Yes, like that.

They just don't understand after 30 years of marriage what love looks like.

This is what it looks like.

What, yelling at each other at the table all day? That's what it looks like?

Oh, Frank.

What is it now, Estelle?

No, I just, I'm very grateful. I'm looking forward to this new year. You

should be grateful. You're married to me.

Oh, Frank, it's always about you.

Frank this, Frank that.

Why shouldn't it be about me? That's what I don't understand.

You try to make it about you when it should always be about me. You're right.

And maybe our kids, maybe.

It's always about me.

Again, I love that she believes in fairy tales.

Honey, you know that if I wasn't born, you wouldn't be born.

Which means that it's automatically about me.

Are you talking to me?

Of course I was talking to you. Who else would I be talking to?

I don't know.

I thought you were talking to her.

Remember, you're my sweet little girl.

She's my old sour patch of a

cabbage.

I called you a cabbage, honey.

Frank, you don't even know what you're talking about anymore. Of course, I'm

your sweet little girl.

I think I've had it. Will you give me a drink?

Absolutely.

Here you go, honey.

Thank you. You're welcome. You need your nutrition.

Boy remember that the next time that you're bad-mouthing your mother how she

fed you grapes You kids don't they don't know how lucky they have it they don't

I'm lucky I have you mom I don't know how this guy you're lucky you have a

house over your head. That's all I want to say about my dad Mom's the bitchy one

Excuse me. See how she talks to me. She's always right though.

You gotta admit you are the bitchy one

If it wasn't so hot in here, I wouldn't be so bitchy. Again with the hot? Yeah,

it's hot.

Maybe if you didn't have hot flashes, you wouldn't feel so hot.

Exactly that.

Maybe one of your loser family members has an AC company.

I know a guy that knows AC.

Do you?

Can you get a good deal?

No, not for you.

What? Maybe...

A good deal for me is a good deal for you.

10% off.

Maybe you should try for 15.

Or I can use my feminine wiles on him.

What do you say, Frank?

Maybe? What do you think?

Do you think mom can entice your friend?

Maybe. Probably not.

My mom's a nice lady.

Thank you.

Nice.

I don't know. That's kind of a stretch.

Exactly. The only thing stretching around here is your belt, Frank.

It's only because you cook so good.

Aw, thank you.

She does not cook good. Don't lie to her.

Listen, once a year, I gotta give her a compliment.

Yeah, sure.

Give one good compliment.

Sorry.

This new year, we will all try to be more positive as a family.

Why are we not positive?

You're saying I'm not positive.

Frank. I think that sounds negative.

Oof.

Watch your language at the table.

Sorry, Mom.

Sorry.

Every year, Austin's with the oohs and the ahs. I don't understand.

Can't he just eat like a normal person?

It's turning out to be nice. I'm happy.

I'm happy you're happy. Thank you, Frank.

You're very welcome.

Thank you. Thank you for all that you do for this family.

I do a lot.

We know you do.

As long as you don't let us forget it.

We appreciate you.

Hopefully our children understand it.

I think they're beginning to come around.

I can only hope.

She's so damn popular.

It's almost time for me to go out.

I'm going to have so much fun tonight.

What's the number one rule, honey?

Remember, if you borrow the car, you fill it with gas.

Are you listening to me?

That's blatant disregard though, Frank.

Wait and just record.

No, she understands.

She had to stay home for two days. I did, but as long as you don't have a

head wrap in your hair.

Yeah,

yeah.

You're definitely my ultimate.

Yeah.

That's so fun.

Yeah, for sure.

Just meet me outside Okay

Okay,

I'll see you soon bye girl

Sweet New Year, huh? Yeah.

Now you're getting it. There you go.

L'chaim.

You want another one?

Cheers.