Original subtitles

A material, a material, a material, a

material

Some boys kiss me, some boys hug me, I think they're okay.

If they don't give me proper credit, I just walk away.

And I just walk away. And I'm a tear in the world. I'm a tear in the

world.

Ava,

this car's so hard to get out of. That's the point. Anyone who ever gained baby

weight can't fit.

Hi.

Okay, how do I look? Total rock star.

Thank you.

Oh my God! Hey, hey!

Come over here! Come here!

Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful!

Beautiful?

Gorgeous? Finally, I thought you said five minutes. I think it's a wine

article in your warm water.

Thank you.

Cigarette? Gross.

Where's Mick?

He's over there making out with some 12-foot doll model.

What?

JK!

I'm sorry, I love you.

What up, Tans?

What's up?

Johnny from the show wants to meet you.

He's going to be on the cover of Teen Vogue next week. You should think about

it. You're going to be at my party.

Your party?

Don't you mean our party? And wait until you see the fierceness that I'll be

wearing. Oh, my God! Aren't you Baz from Long Island?

I cried so hard last week when you caught Tan doing it with your dad.

Is she going to kill herself?

Tune in on Wednesday night after American, huh?

Oh, gropey.

You want me to sign your abs?

Oh, my God. Yeah, that would be great.

I love the way that you spell your name.

You are such a creative genius.

Ava, don't let it bother you. He loves you.

He's just used a random house.

Whatever. I just cannot wait until we announce our engagement.

You have a little smash.

You should use daddy's smudge read lip sealer. I feel beauty genius.

I love it. I will make love to it. I know you will.

I know I will. Go have fun. Hit your mind.

Hey, Jose.

Hey. Tansy.

Tansy. Hi.

Come with us. Tara Reid and Fred Nirst are going to karaoke.

You guys, if I have to hear them do Spice Girls one more time, I hate

classic flops.

Such a downer lately.

Yeah. I'm going to have to give you some of my Prozac if you don't chill out.

Guys, to be honest with you, I didn't even want to come tonight. I wanted to

stay home and finish... Are you insane?

You know Marnique feeds everything to us weekly. Do you really want the writing

that you want to stay home on a Thursday night and fill out some weird college

application?

We are the Faisal Marchetta, and Faisal Marchetta does not study chemistry.

Babe, I'm missing you out here. Come on.

Come on y'all, let's do it. Come on, let's go.

You would be amazed at how many people could improve even damaged skin if they

were just treated properly.

Now, exposing your skin to harsh chemicals and to the sun, this is a

nightmare for the skin.

If you start with an all-natural regimen, this will cure most of the

skin's difficult problems.

One of the biggest problems is actually over-treating the skin.

Now, take toner for example.

The person who has influenced me the most in my life is my father, Victor

Marchetta.

Though he's gone now, I'll always remember him in his lap, concocting the

perfect lipstick.

I'll never forget the time he taught me the dangers of using FD&C artificial

colors.

Good luck with the close bedroom, mother.

Un ciclón pasó por ahí anoche.

Un exageres. Un exageres? Two exageres with this sad excuse of a breakfast.

I don't even think low-carb is going to cut it this morning.

I am so bloated. Can I just have hot water and cayenne pepper and maple syrup

and lemon?

I need to cleanse.

I don't need an aspirin. Me too.

Hey, Tans, give it a rest.

You can't keep sitting here watching dad's old T-vote shows from two years

ago for the rest of your life.

Plus, that skin show is disgusting. I find it comforting, Ava.

Oh, that's so sweet.

And creepy.

Plus, I've got to clear up some space here.

Mick likes me to watch all of his shows, and this week, Raz and his dad get in a

fist fight. Amy, give it. We're talking Golden Globe material.

No, stop.

Oh, really? You got a lot of screenings? Well, your next one's going to be from

the slammer. You're on TV, pal.

For Channel 10 News, I'm Ned Nakamori. You are ripping people off.

I hate that cheese whiz.

Ava, you are so hot. Love, Mick.

P.S. Don't forget to watch me tonight after American Idol.

Love him.

Ava. It's my engaged memory.

Thank you very much.

The gate is open.

That's huge. How romantic is he?

Look at that.

He has such great taste.

Ava, you picked that out. Well, yeah, but he likes it.

It's huge.

Oh, girls.

Do you like it? Yes.

Come on, come on, come on.

You have a meeting to go to right now.

Can we reschedule?

Yeah, I can go tomorrow.

No. Tomorrow. No, no, we cannot do that again. Not reschedule. This is charity.

Oh, that reminds me. I cleaned out my closet for your church's clothes drive.

Thank you.

Homeless people love Dolce Gabbana.

Let me take this.

Thanks.

Thanks. No problem, Miss Marchetta.

Thanks. You said that already.

Oh, right.

Tansy.

I've got to come to the office more often.

Looks nice.

Hi, Jasmine.

Hi. Hey, hey, hey.

Hi. My gorgeous girls.

Are you hungry?

Let's get some food. Come on.

You're too thin, both of you. You're too nice.

Hey, let me ask you girls a question.

Seriously.

What do you think of this tie, huh?

It's off the chain, right?

This is rocawear.

Rocawear. And yes, it's nice. I like it. You look very handsome.

Rocawear?

Can I get some snacks?

I want an assortment for these girls.

This is Jayden.

She's our new intern.

Hi, Jayden.

Nice to meet you.

Hey, Jayden.

I love your dress.

Thank you.

Maybe when I'm done with it, I'll give it to you.

Let's go in my office. I need to talk to you about something.

On the DL.

Look who I have here.

Hi, Pam.

How are you? Hello, my darling.

Hold my calls, Pam. Sure thing. Oh, Craig is waiting.

Hi, Craig.

Hi, Craig. How are you, girls?

Good. How are you? Great. All right.

Let me put this as delicately as I can.

Our future is in the crapper.

Thank you, Pam.

You may depart.

Why not?

Very nice.

Thanks. There's no new product.

The truth is, without Victor Marchetta, there is no Marchetta Cosmetics.

And so this is what you're going to inherit when you take over the company

in July, and I'm no longer your trustee.

I mean, do girls even want to run this place?

Well, I mean, you're going to be, you know, doing most of the running, right?

Yeah, sure, yes. Yes, of course. Of course I am, if you keep me on. But

there is another option.

Jaden, do me a favor, would you please, sweetheart, and split, go, out.

Thank you. Oh, well.

We have information that Fabiella is going to make an offer on this company.

Fabiella. Ooh.

That's Daddy's worst enemy.

All right, just listen to what Craig has to say.

I prefer very, very hard pressure.

Uh, yes, I'm sorry, I'm scheduling a shiatsu.

What?

What'd you say?

The author, Fabiella.

Yeah, right. Okay.

If the numbers come in from Fabiella tomorrow where I expect them, I mean, we

could pay off our creditors and still have a unit for each of you. A unit?

Unit. A hundred mil.

And you girls could spend that cheddar however you'd like.

I could finance Mick's independent movie with that.

Ava? What?

He wrote a really good script, Hansy.

It'd be like an investment.

This is Daddy's legacy that we're talking about.

All right, chill, chill. Everybody chill out. Just relax.

We'll think about it. There's no rush here. We'll take our time.

In the meantime, let's go see some charities and earn ourselves a tax

credit. Come on.

We specialize in making large print books available to seniors who suffer

from macular degeneration or just plain bad eyesight.

We also offer storytelling to the very elderly.

Yet, for some reason, this is not considered important by the federal

government, which is why we're in need of private funding.

Please, help our aged neighbors enjoy the gift of reading.

Thank you.

That was very touching. Thank you so much. We'll let you know by the end of

the week. Thank you.

We're actually going to take off, too.

Tansy, remember, she has a really important appointment.

We like the breast cancer lady and the animal cruelty lady. And the animal

cancer lady. The rest is all up to you guys.

Thank you.

Was there an animal breast lady?

She was first.

Do you think Tommy's going to be mad?

No, how can he be? He knows we only have six hours to get ready for the gala. Oh,

excuse me. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Oh.

Oh,

no. Am I late? I thought my appointment was in ten minutes.

Not bad for a guy in a suit from Men's Warehouse.

Huh? You're one of the charity people, right? Yeah.

Henry Baines.

Greater Los Angeles Free Legal Clinic.

Medical clinic?

No, we help people who can't afford an attorney.

Here, let me give you my card.

Wait, so you don't even help people with terrible diseases?

Uh, no, we help people who are poor.

Right, but that's not a terrible disease, per se. I mean, they don't even

have a ribbon for that.

Okay, I guess I'll have to look into that one. Oh, by the way, a little

preparation age under those eyes will really get rid of the puffiness.

Tansy!

Can my sidekick fit in your bag? Sure.

Okay, well, give me your lip gloss. I'll put it in mine. You put it in yours,

okay? Okay.

People Magazine, are you excited

about tonight's event?

We are. Of course.

We feel so excited just to be able to remember our father like this. Well,

what I want to know, how do you stay so toned? I mean, you got runner's legs.

Thank you.

So do you.

Make this actually in Long Beach filling a very special episode of Long Island.

Is it true you engaged?

Ever did you hear that?

I'm so if you make it into people

will sell a lot of lipstick

It's so nice to see you. You look beautiful. I love the outfit. Where did

you get all this stuff? We watched that episode. It was so great.

Ava. Oh, my God. We love that show. We cried.

We all cried.

We should send her some. Oh, look. There's Fabiella.

Now, remember, be charming, but don't let her think you're too easy.

Okay.

Hi.

Look at you two. So hot. I'm blinded.

Thank you. Now, about the offer.

I knew Vic a long time.

And let me tell you, we had a relationship that was built on mutual

respect. That's why I'm here.

To see you two so grown up in charge, c'est magnifique.

Now, I've got the market cornered on the 35 and ups, and you've got the Gen Y

crowd. Together, we are unstoppable.

Oh. I'm sorry, I just saw one of my ex-husbands over there. Some advice,

girls. Never go younger. Even by a month.

A hard bar is no substitute for wisdom, girls. Remember that.

Okay.

Well, well, well.

Tommy! A powwow of squaws.

Fabiella.

I'm sorry, but I can't have you talking business with my girls tonight.

Of course.

Enjoy your evening, darling. Thank you. And you as well. Come along, sweeties.

Thank God you saved us.

Keep smiling. She's still watching.

From his early days in the South Bronx when he brewed his cosmetics in pots on

his own little stove to the rise of the top of the cosmetics world, Victor

Marchetta always remembered the words of Winston Churchill.

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.

Before his tragic death two years ago, he sought to help others. When his first

product line became a huge success, they donated a portion of the product to his

neighbor elementary school.

Family was always a top priority.

He raised his daughters on his own.

The shares of the principal are so important to him.

They've become the beautiful, charming young women we see here today.

Oh, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Charlene, forgive me.

I was fortunate to know a side of Vic that few others did.

We grew up together.

And for that, he brought the old Tomcat along as his number two.

Oh, oh.

I'm all about this phone television.

I love things in me.

He creates Madonna's first look.

Her second and third looks. Not to mention Alice Cooper and Marilyn Manson.

All beautiful, beautiful women.

But his two best girls were always his daughters.

Ladies and gentlemen, please give it up for Ava and Tansy Marchand. Girls.

you know, he totally got stuck with all of the tormented teen angst years and

the car accidents.

Let's go to the channels.

Oh, hey, the Game Show Network.

I love it. I love it.

Oh, go to Channel 10. The girls are on television.

They're on the news.

Hey,

Mom, Dad, check out your TV. I want to thank everyone so much for coming out

tonight and honoring our... What is this?

But what if the cosmetics you trusted make you look good? I'm so proud of him.

And we're proud to be the face of his company.

Hey, put it on the screen.

Yeah, put it up. The product gave them terrible scars and infection.

While developing their nitrate, it appears founder Victor Marchetti

deliberately covered up his discovery of some shocking and permanent side

effects. Oh, my God. Perfect. Yeah.

until i started using the bar shed every day

This is bad. The stock's going to plummet. Don't say

anything to anybody. I'll take care of everything.

Go. Just go and sit there. Eat something. Go.

Drug companies have gone out of business from similar scandals.

At this hour, we have very few answers to the questions raised by the chilling

images. One thing is certain.

For two of Los Angeles's most celebrated socialites, life is about to change.

Ava, this is so weird.

We're here all alone.

Stop creeping me out.

How do regular people deal with this?

They get pets.

Getting attention headache.

Versus spa when you need one.

This stuff smells so good.

I mixed rose water with tea tree oil and avocados.

It's very invigorating.

You're good at this stuff.

Just like Daddy.

Thanks.

You're lucky you have a real skill.

Unlike moi.

Ava. What?

You have skills.

Tons of them.

Like? Like commanding a room for one.

You could get people to do anything for you.

I think one day you could run Marshetta. Don't say Marshetta.

I never want to hear about that company again.

You know, I don't think Dad did anything wrong.

Maybe in a couple days this will all just die down.

Yeah, maybe.

That feels so great.

There's nothing I love better than getting my temples rubbed.

Except new shoes.

What was that?

So much for this dying down.

I'm never going to get into a college now.

Not everything is always about you, Tansy.

No, it never is, unless it's you telling me what to do. And if I do, it's trying

to help you. And you know what? Sometimes it gets so annoying.

You know what? Don't even give me that older sister martyr act, okay?

Ava! What?

Ew! I don't want to hear it, okay? Stop it!

Why don't you just go open the window, if the smoke bothers you so much, and

then you can see how much everybody loves us! Stop it! Stop!

You don't smoke!

We need a suite, and can you have the room service people send up two orders

of your wasabi mashed potatoes as soon as possible?

We are in serious need of comfort food.

Right away.

Nick still isn't answering.

Neither is Tommy.

So sorry, your credit card's been declined.

What? No, this is a corporate platinum card.

It has no limit.

Try it again.

Pierce, your account's been closed.

What? Hey!

What are you doing?

Stop! You know what? I'm going to take those scissors and I'm going to cut up

your summer 2003 banks, you little nasty little hotel troll.

Shh. Shh.

Okay. Please,

let's just go. I just want to get out of here. Craig, what the hell is wrong with

our credit cards?

Stop it. Oh, yeah, didn't I tell you? I had to cancel all your cards. No, you

didn't tell us that.

The company's in trouble.

Everything's leveraged to the hilt. That means no credit cards, no cash, nada.

What? We're broke?

Hey, can you hold on a sec? I'm trying to swing myself on Tiger Woods' cart.

Craig, if you put us on hold, I'm gonna come over to that golf course and... And

I'm gonna tee off on your face!

Craig! One more thing.

There's an emergency board meeting set for tomorrow at 4. Be there. And wish me

luck with Tiger Woods. I will not wish you luck with Tiger Woods!

Come on.

It's calling us.

Turn around.

Man, we got to get a better ride.

We can't be rolling up through the club as a poopty.

I know, man. I feel you.

You got what you got, you know? Yeah.

Yo.

Yo,

ladies. Let me help you with that.

Thanks.

Mm-hmm.

The keys are inside, okay?

Just try to be careful. Thank you.

Let's go, man. Snap.

At least it has valet.

I'm rich!

Look at you both.

I'm so glad you're here.

Considering we went from Tiffany's to Target in one single night.

I made some tea.

Are you sure you have room for the two idiotos that burnt down their house?

Idiotas. And you are not idiotas. Here, let me help you with this. I always have

room for you two here, my babies.

You can stay in my daughter bedroom.

You have a daughter?

Mm-hmm. Yeah, I have two.

They live with my mother in Colombia.

Lizzie, how come you never told us that?

Because you never asked.

Caliente. Gracias. Well, why don't they live here with you?

Have you ever heard of post-9-11 immigration delays?

Uh-huh.

Los terroristas have one.

Okay, girls, come on. Let's go to sleep.

It's very late. It's almost 2 o'clock.

You want to feel very comfortable here.

Let me fix this for you.

Good night, my girls.

Good night.

It's so weird not being at home.

Because we're not having a home.

Ava, why does all this stuff look so familiar?

Because it used to be ours.

Daddy must have given it to her.

I didn't even recognize it at first.

My puppy sticker collection is still here.

My popcorn scratch and sniff.

It still smells like popcorn.

I feel like Daddy's still alive and he's just going to come and save us.

Well, he's not.

And Mick's still not answering his cell.

His battery must have died.

That's really not important right now, Ava.

I'm announcing my engagement tomorrow.

My life is not ending just because Dad screwed up some dumb, ever-do formula.

What?

I'm never talking to you ever again.

Fine.

Who's gonna get the light, Eva?

Okay, time to wake up.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

And here, practice your Spanish.

I am so glad I rescued my dress.

To have lost them would have been a tragedy.

Tell me about it. I have no idea what I'm going to wear to the party.

I have no clothes.

Yes, you do.

I still have the hand-me-downs you gave me for the church drive.

And not too many homeless are our size, too, anyway.

Okay, I'm done here. I'm leaving.

Where are you going?

You're the laddies.

And then I'm off to Sassy Mates to see if they take me back after all these

years.

Some of us have to work for a living.

Oh, and girls, please behave.

Don't burn down the house.

Lock the door. See you later.

Do you remember this?

This was yours. Do you want it back?

No.

Not bad.

It's cute.

I feel so last year.

Calm down. Reggio's really in right now.

Oh.

Oh. Hi.

It's the red Mercedes.

What do I look like, a valet?

Yes. Honey, there's no valet here.

God's personal joke.

I think he said we need to get on the two, and then switch to the 37,

and then on the six.

On the six!

Just like J-Lo.

And then, and then we gotta get on the two. But a different two than the first

two. This is ridiculous.

Somebody has gotta come pick us up.

You're right.

Friends don't let friends take public transportation, especially the bus.

Ava, I've heard about the bus.

People pee on the seats.

They pee. They don't pee on the bus.

Yo, it's Mick.

Tune in Wednesday night. Wait for the beep.

Mick, baby, it's Aby. Where are you?

What's going on? I mean, I've called you like a million times.

We're announcing our engagement in like two hours.

Call me, call me, call me, okay?

But don't worry about Tans and I. We're on our way. Oh, I just got here.

Bye. Love you.

Go ahead.

Baby.

What? I'm not tipping you until I know how your service is.

$1.35 each.

Fine. I'm not cheating.

We're going to 273 Benedict Canyon.

Good for you.

Ow!

Why are they stuffing them?

It smells in here. I know.

I couldn't feel that.

Excuse me.

I'm not got some personal joke.

I'm his entire comedy routine.

That's why in Japan, women have their own watches.

Ava, I can't do this anymore. I've got blisters and I don't even really want to

come.

Tansy, this is my engagement announcement party.

Everybody already knows you're engaged.

I mean, they knew when you started wearing that promise ring and saying you

guys were just friends.

Come on.

No.

Yeah, all right.

Take care of that, yeah.

Hi. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

It's Ava and Tansy Marchetta. I'm sorry, you're not on the list.

I am Mick's fiancé, okay? I wrote the freaking list.

It's Marchetta, with an M. You know, like, like Manolo. Yeah, I know who you

are. My mama used to like to wear your lipstick.

Yeah, but I bet if she had the same skin shade as you, she'd like the, um...

Mama died last year.

Maybe now I know why.

Do you know how mad Mick is going to be when he finds out how you treated us?

You're done. He is going to be so pissed.

Look, Etienne.

Etienne. Etienne, hey.

Etienne. He can't hear you.

Go.

Etienne, it's us. We're outside and this guy is letting us in.

Actually, I decided not to go to the party because my throat is a little

tender. Turn around.

I'm looking at you on the patio.

That's not me.

We're being totally dissed.

By Etienne.

Yeah. He worships us. Well, he was going to go straight for us.

You know what? He's not straight for us anymore.

And you know what? Etienne's not even Brazilian.

David.

Oh, Saul.

Thank God. I know, baby, I know.

Look, we've been on this bus, and we've been hiking around, and then this guy

won't even let us in.

Just take me to go and see Mick.

Yeah, actually, that won't be happening now.

As his agent, I have to look after Mick's best interests, and the thing is,

Long Island is about to squeak into the top ten, and let's face it, you're a

liability now. So as far as the engagement goes, I think we're going to

have to pass.

Pass? What are you saying? Are you dumping me? Well, technically, Mick's

dumping you.

Look, I have to think long-term, and a career choice like... Okay, right.

Look, from a business standpoint, you know, I get where you're coming from,

okay?

But look, on the other hand, this was my engagement day.

And I risked my life to save this dress, so you know what you can tell your

client?

Karma! I'll let him know. Oh, and one other thing. What?

We're going to need the ring back.

Oh, come on. You know what else?

Long Island is a really bad show.

Tate it. This is a disaster.

Our sales have plummeted precipitationally, and the retailers

have already returned almost 90% of our shipments.

Jaden, for heaven's sake, get him a moist towel or something.

Carry on.

Carry on. Yes, well, uh, Fabiola did make us an offer.

It was lower than we hoped for, but in light of present circumstances... How

much is it for?

How much is it for?

60 cents on the dollar for all our private stuff. 60 cents? It's actually

quite generous. I mean, it could go down again next week.

What?

Oh.

If we sell to Fabiello, what happens to the Marchetta name?

If we're lucky, we disappear quietly.

Quietly disappear?

What about your investigation?

Well, I looked into the Abadou file.

Thank you, Pam.

And, uh... I don't know how to tell you this, but...

There were some problems in the testing stage, and your father, for whatever

reason, decided not to deal with it.

What he's saying is that the complaints are legit.

I'm sorry, girls.

Tommy, you're not just gonna, like, accept this, right?

I mean, you're gonna track down those people from the story, and... Yes, yes,

I'm gonna try. I threatened to sue, but Nakamori won't give up his sources.

People, can we pick up Vazir?

Yes. All right. Let me be frank here.

This company was already a sinking ship with this new publicity scandal

with the Titanic.

It's unfortunate but true.

And this is an excellent opportunity for the shareholders to save their hides.

It's a great opportunity.

Oh, I gotta pee.

Thank you for sharing.

Oh, my God. I am a federal emergency.

No wonder Mick dumped me. What are we doing in here, Ava?

No, I just needed a second to think.

Come on, let's just go in there and vote to sell this stupid company that Dad

totally screwed up. Hey, look, Daddy wasn't perfect, okay?

But getting things right was so important to him.

What do you mean?

I don't know. I haven't figured it out yet.

But I know I want to get my hands on those test files.

We vote no.

We don't believe our father is guilty of any wrongdoing. The board doesn't need

your votes to pass this.

Now let's get this thing done.

I've got a plane to Maui in an hour. All those in favor, bring this offer to the

stockholders for approval with our recommendation to sell.

I'm going to extend.

Yes. I will see you all in 30 days at the stockholders' meeting.

You... Hey,

hold back. Come on,

come on, come on.

Step back.

Step back.

Step back a couple of feet.

Stay back.

Guys. There they are.

Come on.

Come

on.

This is Brad Tibby at E, and I'm actually following Marchetta's scissors

right here in downtown.

Sure. Rick, um, you were amazing.

We owe you big time.

And I never welch on a debt.

Despite what you might read in the papers.

Don't worry.

I'll collect on that later.

And I never believe what I read in the papers.

Good.

Geez chance he's a parking attendant he's cute

Can

we

have a word with you in your office you're looking at it

This is a really embarrassing emergency.

Oh, I'm sorry. My private suite's being redone. It's either here or the

janitor's closet.

Okay. We need a lawyer.

A free lawyer.

Wait a second.

You two want me to work for you pro bono?

But you're rich.

Haven't you been watching TV?

We're destitute.

I don't watch TV.

Besides, you're not destitute. I mean, come on, you've got cars and houses.

Yeah, we sort of burned the house down. And our car got stolen.

Besides, everything we own belongs to the company. And they want to sell us to

Fabiella. For only $60 million.

Each.

Obviously, we need help.

Look, this is a place where underprivileged people come for help.

Not privileged people who don't want to sell their company.

But our privilege got taken away from us.

Yeah. And don't you think that it's fishy that Fabiella wants to buy us and

then this scandal just falls in her lap?

Yeah, but shit happens.

I mean, it's a coincidence that I can't pay my phone bill on the same day that

my student loan is overdue, but it's the way it is.

Look, if Fabiella wants to buy your company, why don't you just sell it?

Then you'll have all your money and everything will be fine.

Henry, money doesn't buy happiness.

I know that. Do you?

I don't know, but that... That's not the point. The point is that we don't want

our father's reputation to just go down in ruins.

And we need somebody to be on our side.

Yeah.

What it sounds like you guys really need is a private investigator to look into

this. Well, do they have pro bono private investigators?

Uh, no.

They're actually pretty pricey.

Look, you guys might want to look into getting a job.

In the meantime, I can look into some of the legalities here.

Yes! She has a degree in medieval literature from Harvard.

She'll make a great addition to your staff at Medieval Times.

Yeah, happy jousting.

Oh, God.

Bless you.

Do you girls have your resumes?

We had headshots, but we lost them in the fire.

Okay.

Doris, do you have any Motrin?

Um, what are your skills, girls?

Oh, we can dance. You mean, like, dancing. We're really good dancers.

No, I mean, like, can you type?

Oh, can we type?

We're good.

We can do, like, ten IMs a minute.

See?

Yeah.

Great. Um, listen, girls. Um, I don't think that you need an employment

agency. I think you girls need an unemployment agency and a typing class.

Feel better.

I cannot believe we didn't get our unemployment money.

I mean, we've never even been employed.

Shouldn't that mean that we would get more unemployment?

Oh, what a tragedy.

Right up there with the federal deficit.

You know, maybe we should launch a congressional probe, huh?

My feet hurt so bad.

I need new shoes.

How am I supposed to get new shoes without unemployment money?

Hey, you want to try my Issa spirits?

You know, my cousin Constanza, she walked all the way here from Colombia in

a pair of those.

Really? No, but they're very comfortable.

Okay, you guys, enough with the shoe talk already.

What are we supposed to do about money?

How about sassy maids? They're always hiding people.

Ew. Ew.

Well, I guess not.

But you know what, girls?

I don't work for you anymore.

So while I am cleaning up after Wooly Mix in Bel-Air, I really would

appreciate a little bit of help around here.

Oh.

See you later.

This is enough to make me go vegan.

It's for my boss. He's in this water dispute, and he wants me to find all

kinds of papers just from all kinds of places.

You know, it would probably be easiest if I just... It is amazing what you can

do with a really good push-up bra. We should do that, Ava. Heck yeah, come on.

Do what? Start wearing push-up bras?

No. Become investigators.

Then we wouldn't have to pay anyone.

And you were the one that said you wanted to get your hands on those vials.

Yes.

Let's do it.

Investigators.

Inez was right.

These babies are amazing.

They're so comfortable.

I'm never going to wear Jimmy Choo's again.

Bite your tongue.

These are going to be my investigator shoes.

Just got to get my size.

Hi, Pam.

Oh, you girls look nice.

Really? We're wearing your charity handouts.

Fantastic.

You're taking off.

Hey. Hey.

Something wrong?

No, no, no. We just came to help out and see if, you know, anybody needed

anything. I don't need cats in box office.

Well, I wish I could stay a while, but, uh, damage control... Fabiella's on line

one. She'd like to speak to the girls.

Mm-mm.

Ew. I think you're gonna... No, no.

You're just gonna know we're fighting about her.

No.

Hi, Fabiella.

Kinder, how are you?

I've been so concerned. Are you well?

We're fine.

Good. I'd like you to come to the office tomorrow for a little chat.

Businesswoman to businesswomen.

Katzenbach, too, of course.

I'll send my car.

I'll see you at one.

We're not going anywhere near that crazy's office. No.

Maybe we should go. Eva. Whatever you think, you know. We should go see what

she has to say. It's up to you if you want to go.

Have you seen Tansy and Eva?

No. I think they left.

Oh, thank God.

I asked them to change that toner in the copier and they said, why does it need a

toner? Does a copy machine have large pores?

I think that's a perfectly reasonable question.

Necesita toilet paper in last stall, por favor.

Disgusting.

And you got super serious.

It's a disguise.

You know, I don't know why we didn't just ask for the emergency test files.

Okay. Rule number one, don't trust anyone.

That's true when it comes to dating B-list TV stars and in business.

Okay. Walk like Lucy.

Yep.

Ava, come on. Hold on, they should be right here.

Well, they're not, so can we just go?

Come on, I'm geeking out here.

My autonomic nervous system is launching stress hormones.

Come on, you know that biochemistry calms me down.

Come on!

They're not in here.

Maybe they're still in Tommy's office.

Okay, let's go.

Damn

it.

Ava, come on, this is not smart. Let's go. Hold on, wait, wait.

Do you know how to pick a lock?

What do you think I look like, Ma? A gangbanger?

Nice outfits.

Rick, we're interning.

Obviously, I mean, with those bags.

Oh, your hair looks really nice today.

Maybe you could help us with something.

In Tommy's office.

All right, let's just make it fast.

Do you have a bobby pin? I do.

How'd you learn that?

I was a gangbanger.

I'm just kidding.

But I did have my juvie moments.

I can't believe I let you guys talk me into this.

I could... I can get arrested.

I can get fired.

This whole thing was her idea.

Look, I promise you're not going to get fired, okay?

In fact, whenever we're in charge again, we're going to promote you.

We're going to make you head of the whole parking lot.

Parking lot?

Why do you think I work in the parking lot?

Um, because you park our car.

We don't have a parking attendant.

Oh, really?

I parked your car because I'm nice.

I'm a lab technician.

Look, I'm glad you two lovebirds are having so much fun over there.

Meanwhile, I just found all the files. Look, ever do night cream formulas, lab

analysis, test results, and names and numbers of all the people we tested. Oh,

my God. We got to get out of here. Come on. What?

Why?

We had break-ins?

You guys really didn't pay any attention to the business, did you? No, apparently

not. Kind of.

I really like chemistry.

Get out of here. So do I. That's why I worked down in the lab.

I love it. I've actually been filling out all my applications. No way to wear

it. Hey, while I can really appreciate this whole exchange of sexual banter

here, there's dogs outside. They want to rip our faces off.

Yeah, let's go.

Okay, so are we outside the fence now? Yes, we're safe here.

Here, take this. What?

Okay, here, give me your bag.

Don't drop that.

Hold up.

Come on.

These shoes rock.

I don't even feel like I'm going to plummet to my death at any moment. Speak

for yourself.

Okay, I'll go first.

What? Go where first?

Down there.

No, not into the trash.

Frank, no!

Tansy, no. Wait.

Tansy, I am serious. Do not. You can do it. Do not. Don't pretend you're diving

in the ocean in St. Bart's. No, I can't. This is so not St. Mark's.

Come on, Ted.

I smell Jasmine.

We have it piped in.

I love Century City.

The Marchettos are here.

Please make yourselves comfortable.

Thank you.

Hey.

These are so ugly.

Oh.

Velvet. Sweet.

Hey, remember, we have to speak our language.

Can I offer you some coffee, latte, espresso, cappuccino, mocha,

caramel macchiato, chai tea?

Oh, I'd kill my firstborn for a caramel macchiato.

Honey, if you knew my firstborn, you'd kill him for a lot less than that.

You? I'll take a chai tea.

Janet, make it happen.

Now tell me, tell me the truth.

Are you well?

Are you truly, truly well? Because if you're not, I have two of the most

wunderbar psychiatrists on my payroll, and I'd be so pleased to lend you one.

Thanks.

Entrez.

I'll have one of those espressos, Janet, with the chocolate shavings.

easy coming to the office every day when you have a spot like this. Yeah, this

way no one can pack heat, huh?

Just breathe.

Relax.

Now I know things have really sucked big time for you Lakely girls, but all

that's about to change.

I want your company.

I want you to make the deal.

You want to be a chemist? Be my chemist.

Go to any college you want.

You want to travel?

The ancient ruins of Pompeii, the bronzed island boys of Mystique await

you. Do it on my dime.

I want you girls to be the face of my new line.

A line we create together.

But our reputations have been completely ruined.

Oh, I'll clear his name.

I'll make your father a hero again.

Listen up. My father, Morris Fabrinsky, Pulled himself up by his bootstraps to

become mattress king of Atlantic City.

Everybody called him a crook.

But his memory means everything to me.

I know what you're going through.

Thank you.

Oh, Tran, Bob, hurrah.

Why don't you give the girls foot rubs?

Oh.

Tran?

Better yet.

Why don't you massage Ava's temples?

Remember,

girls, I can give you everything you ever wanted.

So, maybe Fabiella wasn't so bad after all. Ava. What?

I cannot believe you. I mean, one temple rub and you... Wait.

How psychic was she about how much you liked those?

So she did her homework.

But that doesn't just mean we're going to give up and sell, right?

JK.

Well, you're going to help me go through these lists, right?

Yes. But if Dad did it, we sell.

And if he didn't, we fight.

Okay.

Out of the thousand tested, 153 people had adverse reactions.

So I divided up all the phone numbers.

I'm going to start calling people.

Let's do this.

It's like I'm walking under ladders, or the mirror's about to break. Like a

black cat's walking next to me, that I can't seem to shake. Seems like only

yesterday, my life was going my way. I was calling to talk to you about your

reactions to that.

waiting for me to fade away into the gray

and i try to tell myself

Wow, that's another one.

She said her rash was nothing like the story on TV.

What?

Tansy, wake up. 92 through 103.

Thank you so much. Okay, great. Thank you.

Well, that was the last one.

That woman's doctor said she had nothing but a rash.

This is crazy.

Not one person had long-lasting side effects.

Where did Nan Nakamori find all these victims for his story?

Tian, no!

What did you do, baby? What did you do, huh?

Oh, Russ.

I love you so much. I'm so sorry I slept with your dad.

It's okay.

It's okay.

We

have

to get you to the hospital.

Three months worth of birth control pills.

Oh, hey. What are you doing here?

I thought you were the pizza.

I brought you these.

And where's your sister? I thought you two were borderline Siamese.

I thought you didn't watch TV.

It smells like beef in here.

That's the carniceria.

Is that why you came here? To smell my office?

Ha-ha.

So, interesting books you've got here.

What is this, pleasure reading?

My sister works for the New York Review of Books, so she sends me the ones with

the funniest titles.

And yes, I do read them. I like to read.

So, sister, huh?

That's something we have in common?

Yeah, it's probably about the only thing we have in common.

Well, you're awfully quick to judge.

As much as I'm enjoying your spontaneous attack on my character and office smell,

would you do me a favor and get to the point?

Just a second.

Hey, Tams. Hey, check this out. I compared the formula in the testing to

the current Everdue formula, and Dad changed it. No way. Yes way. He took the

isopropyl anilate out, but there's no records of this in the files.

I'm telling you, Ava, this thing is screwier than Courtney Love. Okay,

well...

You don't have a case.

What? Not one of these people had a permanent reaction.

And then we find out that the formula was changed.

Someone had to have fabricated those testimonials. You don't have any proof,

though. Yes, we do. No, you don't. Sure we do.

No, you don't.

Okay, fine.

We don't.

With us today is Ned Nakamori, the reporter who first broke that story in

Los Angeles.

Ned, is it true that this is the end for the troubled company? Is a sale to

Fabiella Cosmetics imminent?

That's right, Christiane.

It's expected that when Marchetta Cosmetics shareholders vote in less than

two weeks, they will overwhelmingly approve a sale to arch-rival Fabiella.

Let's hope new leadership will prevent another atrocity, like the one I brought

to light a few weeks ago.

I always had perfect skin.

All I wanted was a good moisturizer.

Yes, hi. Um, I need a Los Angeles number for KLAE.

Hello. Hey.

What's your name?

Jean. Hi, Jean.

I'm Tina.

Hey, Tina.

Did anyone ever tell you you look like Tansy Marchetta?

Thanks. You're much prettier, though.

Thanks. I'm sure you're a lot nicer than they are.

What spoiled jerk screwing over all those people like that? Hey, Gene.

Believe it or not, I'm actually on the prowl for some of those release forms

that people have to sign before they go on television.

I mean, everyone you air has to sign one of those things, correct?

That's right.

I was wondering if I could just get a little look-see in that file.

Oh, I am not authorized to do that.

Gene, I'm going to be in so much trouble.

My boss needs them for a TV emergency.

If you could just help me this eensy-weensy little bit.

You're going to be quick, right?

What the hell's going on in here, Jean?

Well, well.

What have we here?

Her boss is having a TV emergency.

Gene, you must be a stone moron. Do you know who that is?

That's Tansy Marchetta.

No.

You're in big trouble.

Sorry, it's not exactly sushi Roku, but... Are you kidding?

This stuff is so much better than sushi.

You haven't had Domino's before?

One's at Brigitte's white trash hoedown party, but other than that, our chef

always made us low-carb pizza.

Good Lord.

Look, thanks for helping us.

All of our so-called friends have treated us like lepers since this

happened. I know about the leper thing. I was a debate team nerd in high school,

so... Really?

That's cute. Nerds are, like, really in right now.

Yeah. They weren't back then.

A beautiful girl like you wouldn't have given me the time of day.

I don't know about beautiful.

I've gained two pounds since I've been poor.

I used to make fun of regular people with their eye bags and their love

handles, but worrying about money is really tiring.

I got my first eye bag yesterday.

You could use a little preparation aid for that.

You still look pretty great to me.

Well, my mom was a model, so looking great was considered a genetic

requirement.

Where is your mom, anyway?

She's in Europe with an Egyptian prince.

She changed her name to Isis, and she calls us her cousins.

We get emails every few years.

You want to know something really funny, though?

I can remember living in this teeny tiny little walk-up.

And being really happy.

I mean, Tansy doesn't remember that, but... I totally do.

You're different than I thought you were, Ava Marchetta.

That's my cat, Clarence Darrow. Whatever, it was vomitous. I hate cats.

Well, excuse me.

Oh, what? You think I'm overreacting? He's a cat.

He looks like he has rabies. Come on. How can you stand this? This is like an

episode of Fear Factor. I'm sorry I don't live in a mansion and have a

chihuahua with a pedicure. Oh, and what, because you work in a cesspool, you

think you're like Gandhi or something?

What about you? You're all frosting and no cupcake.

I am cupcake, okay? And you are pretentious and sloppy.

Thank God I didn't kiss you. You would have needed a tetanus shot.

Oh, because I would have let you kiss me.

You were practically in my lap.

I was reaching for more pizza.

Sure you were.

I was, and you know what? You can't talk to me like that. You know why?

You work for me.

You're fired.

You can't fire me. I'm helping you out for free.

You're still fired.

What?

Hello?

What? Hi.

Hey Sue, check it out.

Looks like one of them fancy prostitutes from the promenade hotel got herself

cold busted.

No, I'm not a hooker.

Not that I don't respect your entrepreneurial spirits,

it's just that I don't really, it's not my thing, you know?

In fact, it's really a personal failing on my part, you know, because if I could

just get myself more organized. You got some soft skin.

Yeah, it's like a baby's.

How you do that?

Tanzania, Marchetta, trespassing and attempted theft.

That's $20,000 bail.

What kind of criminal has $20,000?

What is wrong with the justice system? That'll be peanuts for you, missy. You

know what? Hey, Henry, stop.

You can't drag me away like that, Henry.

And you know what else? The only reason that you're still here is because

Tansy's in jail.

Hey, but there's a bail bondsman around the corner. Oh, and what? He's just

gonna give me the money? No, he'll loan you the money. You just have to give him

some collateral.

I don't have any collateral.

That's my dad's watch.

It's your sister, Ava.

Sorry, Rolly.

Time for you to go. Okay, the key to soft skin, like mine, is exfoliation.

Exfoliation.

Exfoliation. Yes.

Now, LaPortia, all of that makeup is really hard on your skin.

You need to be kinder to your pores.

If only we had some kind of a scrub.

Something fine but grainy and... Oh! Oh! Oh! I got an egg roll in my bra. Just

give me a minute.

That's okay.

I got sand all up in my toe jam running from the pole pole.

Great.

Anything abrasive like this will really get rid of those dead cells.

Okay, you want to use natural hypoallergenic ingredients on your skin.

Stay away from formaldehyde.

You don't even want to know how much formaldehyde a woman swallows a year,

just from her lip gloss.

You want to use like sea kill, oatmeal, natural lactic acid.

Girl, we can't afford nothing but the cheap stuff.

And nothing that costs two bucks is going to make your skin feel this good.

Man, they just sold something like that at the Rite Aid, huh?

Tanzania Marchetta, you made bail.

Really? But we were just getting ready to start a book club.

So how dare you sneak in like that?

What in the world are you wearing? No wonder you ended up in jail.

No, girls, you're gonna drive me crazy.

You smell like Satan's armpit.

Go, go wash those things off. Go and you come here, young lady. Where do you

think you're going?

Who do you think you are?

Calling me and leaving a message? Oh, Nancy, well, Tansy's in jail, but don't

worry.

Don't worry?

You almost gave me a heart attack. Okay, I'm sorry.

I didn't know you were going to be so worried. What? Are you crazy?

Who am I if not your mother?

Look, you're the one always telling us that we act spoiled all the time and

that we don't appreciate you.

That's what mamas do.

Don't you understand?

I'm sorry, Nancy.

I am. I'm sorry.

You know...

Apart from my own two girls, you're everything to me.

I know.

And I will never let you suffer.

I love you.

And I think we love you too.

Look at you.

You remind me so much like your father.

He was a very good man.

And he was going to bring my girls over here.

He was.

I want to help you with that.

I want to finish what he started.

Route 17.

How ghetto is that?

This was your idea, Tans.

Ooh, pothole.

Told you we should have gotten the beamer.

And I told you, too expensive.

Someone's been hanging out with Henry a little too long.

Look, I went over there for help.

For us.

Yeah. You won him, Amy.

Well, what about you?

You and Rick practically, like, jump each other every time you see him.

Admit it, Tans.

I think he's hot.

I'll admit it when you admit it.

So you admit it? No, I didn't. Yes, you did. Well, then you did too.

Ava, I like Henry a lot more than I like Mick.

The thing I like about Henry is, I mean, you know, assuming that he ever talks to

me again.

He takes me seriously.

You know, like Daddy did.

I used to resent that.

And I used to think, you know, all he wants me to do is be good at everything

and take care of you, but now I think, wow, you know, he really

believed in me.

Sometimes I wish Dad had been a little harder on me.

You do?

Yeah. Look at you now, Tans.

I mean, you're the one that got the clue that's gonna get us out of this.

Then you're going to go up to UCLA and you're going to be the most genius

chemistry major that they've ever had.

Do you mean it?

Really? And, like, you know, the hottest chemistry major, too.

You know.

Margot Thorness?

So, after I had those awful, awful side effects with Everdue Night Cream, the

company offered to pay for my reconstructive surgery.

We did?

Yes, ma'am.

Did you, um, happen to have any skin problems before?

Oh, no.

No, ma'am. Mm-mm. It's funny, then, that I saw you on the eczema documentary on

KLAE.

Oh, what?

Well, see, at the time, I didn't know it was the Everdue causing the problem, so

I went to see a whole lot of doctors.

I see.

Um, do you happen to have any pictures of yourself before you had the

reactions? No.

You know, I'm a shy, delicate flower.

I really don't like being photographed.

But you have all these pictures of you with all your cats.

Yeah, but, you know...

That's more for my cats.

Really?

Oh.

Oh, my.

I need to get to church. On a Wednesday?

Yes, sugar pie.

I run a Bible study, so I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask y'all to leave. Um,

now.

Does she think that we're complete idiots?

She was so full of it. I saw her face, and you know what? That was not an

allergic reaction. Tans. That is severe eczema scarring. Tans, we're screwed.

What are you talking about?

We don't have any time left, and we have no proof.

We paid for those surgeries.

We can find those records.

Look, it doesn't even matter.

The vote is on Saturday. It's over.

It's done.

You're just going to give up like that? Yes.

This is not fair.

It's not right.

The world doesn't care, Tans.

Okay, would you just grow up?

We could die here.

You tell your friend Margo, if I catch one of her mangy cats spraying on my V

-Dub one more time, I'm setting the damn cat on fire. You hear me? On fire!

Oh, my God!

I'm sick! I hate cats! Sir!

Hey, sir!

Tant, wait!

Um, how long has Margo lived there?

She grew up here with her mama.

Thank the Lord she finally got her face fixed.

That Big Dipper mark scared me to death.

It did look like the Big Dipper.

That's what I said, remember? Priorities, Tans.

Excuse me, when did she get that mark? She was born with it.

That is lovely, sir. Just lovely.

Oh, can we get a job?

Sure.

Wait until Tommy hears about this Margo stuff. Screw Tommy.

What do you mean? You and I are taking care of ourselves from now on.

Tommy hasn't done jack.

All he's going to do is tell us that we need proof.

You know what?

He wants proof?

Fine. You and I are going to get it. Red leather, yellow leather. Red leather,

yellow leather. Ned Nakamori?

Well, well, well.

Ava and Tansy Marchetta in la flesh.

What can I do you for?

Well, have we got a scoop for you.

Wait, let me guess. It was a hoax, right?

Darling, I hear that from all my buffs.

Everyone's innocent.

Sorry I'm busy.

We're about to go to national feed.

Are you too busy to hear about a high-powered CEO involved in stock

fraud? You'll get the exclusive.

Yeah.

All we need is just this one teeny tiny little thing.

Regular Martha Stewart.

Well, except for going to jail, Paul.

You sure you know what you're doing? Sorry, I... More than anything in my

whole life.

And my office isn't too embarrassing?

Absolutely not.

Besides, there's something really comforting about this place.

I even came close to penning Clarence Darrow today.

Wow, that's a big step.

And I was wrong about you.

You are a cupcake.

Will you guys just kiss already and get it over with?

Well, hello, hello.

Hello. Oh, geez.

Nice touch.

I understand we're celebrating a merger.

Great.

Hi, how are you?

Tommy, this is our attorney, Henry.

Henry, pleasure.

How are you? And this is Craig.

I love you very much. I'll talk to you later. Hey, nice to meet you.

Hi. Hi.

Tommy let me come as his secretary today.

Pam's sick. Isn't that awesome?

Your nose.

It looks kind of like mine.

Thanks. You were my inspiration.

Buongiorno, chiclets.

I'm over the moon.

This is Nelson, my attorney.

Fabiola. I'm delighted you're here. Nelson, time to catch the clock. Good to

see you. How are you? Hi.

Cheese?

Thank you, ma'am. No, no, no. Bad for the complexion.

What is this place?

This is our lawyer's office.

Bravo on the cost-cutting measure. I always say, never spend too much money

on a lawyer. They always gouge you in the end.

I'm missing courtside blankets for this.

This better be good.

Why don't we just all take a seat and we'll get started.

I'll stand. I'll sit.

Tommy. You told us all along that we needed proof to convince the

stockholders to believe in us. And you were right.

Our father changed the Everdue formula after the initial tests.

He took out the isopropyl lanolin, which we chem nerds know can cause irritation.

Girls, I'm absolutely enthralled by the chemistry tutorial, but I'm not quite

sure I see the point.

We tracked down one of the victims.

The woman that we found wasn't scarred by Everdue night cream. She was born

with a skin disease.

She lied.

And we found her with perfect skin.

Thanks to the plastic surgeries that Marshetta paid for.

Wait a minute. How come I didn't know about this? Why don't you explain this

to us, Captain Bond? What? This is the first I've heard of.

Well, this has been quite a hoot, girls. But I've got a company to run. When

you're ready to talk merging, I'll take your call.

Hold it.

We also found the canceled checks from all of the surgeries.

Paid for out of our personal accounts.

No wonder we were overdrawn, Craig.

We also found the anonymous package sent to Nen Nakamori.

It came from you, Fabiella. You don't think I'm so desperate for this company

that I'd plant evidence. Fabiella, I'll say one more word.

You're right. Someone did plant evidence.

But it wasn't Fabiella.

It wasn't?

Ask yourself this, Nelson.

Who would have access to all of the Everdue test results?

Or access to our personal bank accounts?

Tommy. Our trustee. What? What?

What? The messenger slip you signed? You put the Marcia to zip code.

In your handwriting.

You know I've never... Can it, Katzenbach.

You set me up.

You said you could get me Marchetta on the cheap, and I said spare me the

details and make it happen.

So what?

I'm a little bit of a criminal, but hey, it's business.

Daddy didn't leave you his company so you decide to steal it. You devalued our

stock and you framed Fabiella.

You'll be facing some major SEC violations, Mr. Katzenbach.

Katzenbach.

You wannabe player.

Trying to step to these babies like a cheap soothsayer. But you've been kicked

to the curb, and your time is up. So you're gonna find yourself begging with

a little tin cup. Booyah!

All right, so what?

You girls would have been set for life.

I built this company, too, you know.

Is it my fault that I'm not some genius chemist makeup man that all the babes

are hot for?

Bravo, girls.

You deserve your company. Round one to you. I'm impressed.

You may be heavyweights yet.

Arrivederci, ma chérie.

Oh, my... Chairman Tweenie, I hope I'm not overstepping my bounds in

asking to fire Mr. Katzenbach.

Fire? Effective immediately.

Not at all, Miss Marshappen.

Sweeties, have a little simphatico, huh?

All I ever wanted was an office in Century City.

Huh?

Huh?

Your attorney's here. And mix on line one.

I'm sure he's looking for a job now that he's been killed off Long Island.

Take a message. And also, these have all been approved.

Thanks, Jaden.

Hey, sexy.

Hey, counselor.

Did I ever tell you you look so great in men's warehouse?

Come on, it's Nordstrom's.

Sales rack.

More carrot seed oil.

We want nourishment with staying power.

I'm going, like, baby's butt soft this year.

And affordability.

Good call, freshman.

Thank you.

Buenas noches, Mama.

Good night.

Good night, Mama.

You go.

Oh, that's not me. I'm looking at you on the patio. I don't know what you're

talking about.

That's not me. Run.

Give me that.

Why don't you go open the window? The smoke bothers you so much. Then maybe we

can... Ew.

I can taste it all in there.

Sorry. Don't do that.

All in favor...

All in favor, aye.

You told me you could get Marchetta on the cheap, and I said, spare me the

details.

Go ahead.

Do it. Make my day.

But you've been kicked to the curb.

Your time is up.

And I didn't forget my line. So what's up, what's up, what's up?

Exfoliation.

Yes.

Now La Fonda.

La Fonda.

Something fine, but grainy. I got a bagel in my bra. Just give me a minute.

I can't believe it.

Something fine, but grainy.

I got a chunky peanut butter sandwich in my bra. Just give me a minute.

No. I got a tube of toothpaste in my bra.

Just give me a minute.

That's okay.

Something fine and grainy.

I got a jar of maraschino cherries in my bra. If you just give me a minute.

No, that's okay.

Would you just grow up, for God's sakes?

This skin show's disgusting.

No, stop.

I find it comforting.

Well, the...