Original subtitles

I just choose to not be religious because I rather just be full-on gay and

just be you know Accepted and just be out Yo, fuck

this traffic bro get you know what make a u-turn. I'm gonna get out of this

traffic this shit's crazy Papa you you want to see the traffic?

Hey

Where is the pussy?

The vagina.

The vagina.

Where the fuck are we?

Actually we have Peter today. Where is the dick?

No. We needed a dick.

What do you mean, bro? When are you gonna come out of the closet?

Yo, when are you gonna when you're gonna come out of the closet and make some

real?

You know I gotta make that oh, he's gonna go over. Oh god. Oh, oh he went

over. Oh you fucking oh Not a fucking drive

Actually They got a fire at sushi spot right there. Yeah. Yeah, let's go You

know, yeah, you know, no, no, no, let's go eat sushi right now and then you

don't then and then we'll go eat I mean then we'll go get some then you can go

that not make the left here go around What

Bro, it's fire ass sushi, bro. Just because you can't afford sushi.

Bro, I'm on a budget, bro. You can't afford sushi, so you want to hate

daughter menu, bro.

Bro, you're fat, bro.

Don't be dead, bro. You're fat, bro.

It's because you can't afford it, huh? Yeah, you can't afford sushi.

Turn around. The sushi spot's over there.

What? Look, look, look.

Oh, shit. What, you see a dude?

Nah, dude, I'm serious.

What? Nah, there was a dude there.

That was a chick, bro, come on. That was not a chick, that was a dude.

Alright, look, let's go see if she's willing to talk to us. If not, we're

going to go have sushi, bro. Alright, good. And I'll even buy you a sushi,

like one sushi.

Just one little sushi. Just one little sushi.

Cuz you call me fat bitch so you don't get no sushi no sushi for you Like

bro Look

at

all these fucking losers like walking for their lunch break fucking losers

Fucking losers, man

Fuck walking.

She just do jiu-jitsu, bro. Yeah, man. Let's roll. She just do jiu-jitsu, bro.

Where?

Let's see.

Oh,

she's waiting for the bus.

Hey, we're here.

We're here to get you.

You're waiting for the bus, right?

Yeah, we're here to get you for the bus.

Yeah, we're the bus see that see that sign up there.

That's us It's a splitting image of what the other bus broke down is a

replacement. This is a replacement bus Like

a city bus no, this is a bus come on in I'll give you a discount a

dollar How much is the bus?

All right a quarter

Stop beating me up though.

I got bills to pay we got gas We are the city bus

Is this a

van trying to say no it's a bus don't judge us

I was just trying to break the ice.

How are you doing?

I'm good, thanks.

Uh, listen.

My name is Pierre Paul.

And this is Juan Pablo.

Juan Pablo.

And, uh... And Elmo.

Elmo the driver.

Oh, okay.

Um, you got five minutes? Can I talk to you? We just, we do funny skits, look.

What we do is we own a tube channel, and we do funny little skits, little

funny scripted stuff, you know? And we're actually looking for a girl to

help jump on our team. Have you ever done any acting or anything?

Do you have a sense of humor?

No, I've never really done anything.

Can you come talk to me a little bit?

I'm not gonna jump out of the van and grab you. I just I just want to be able

to hear you. That's all clearly All right, so like I said basically what we

do is We go around we do little funny skits For our tube channel

like we have like like a hundred thousand subscribers.

We make good money and

And we're looking for someone to join our team like we need a we need a

woman's face.

You know Okay, there's some skits. What do you do?

just tube um You said a popular tube channel?

Yeah, tube channel. Yeah, we have a tube channel I mean, I watch a few of those,

but I'm not really familiar with acting or anything like that You've never

acted? No

Okay. Well, you got a good face. As long as you have a good sense of humor. I'm

sorry. How old are you two, by the way? I got to make sure that you're... I'm

18.

You're 18?

Yeah.

Holy crap.

Winner. Good.

18 years old. Wow. How long have you been 18? Because this is kind of like

the beginning of the year.

I kind of just... Yeah, I kind of just turned 18 like in the last year.

So, yeah.

Oh, okay. Okay, cool, cool. So, you're going to turn 19 this year? Yep. Okay,

cool. so um so like i said as long as you're able to like you have

a sense of humor i could teach you how to act and how to do it it's pretty i

mean it's tube channel you know you kind of like you know it just comes you know

we just we rewrite like some dialogue and some script stuff and then we just

kind of like do it and and you know stuff like that and and uh it it's a

it's a full-time position and it pays it could pay up to like you know two three

thousand uh a week because yeah yeah we make lots of yeah we get like i

mean what on those skits what are we doing man we're making like making like

10k plus a skit on us on one you know because we get like 300 million hits so

we're making like really good money on the skits and we do four to five a week

so we're willing to split that right now we're just splitting it like three ways

oh oh wow you know i mean elmo works for food but so he's cheap he doesn't have a

percentage cut he just works for food

Yeah, he likes to eat, but he's uh, it's got to be gluten free. He's got a real

very specific. He's got a real gluten problem He gasses up when he eats gluten

Yeah, he ate a lot of straight gluten as a kid It really

fucked it. Yeah, I really fucked him up and then actually well this up my Pierre

Paul Juan Pablo actually He works for muscle candy

So there's a lot, yeah, you'd have a bigger percentage because we'd actually

give you money. Of the two to three grand a week.

Yeah, I mean, no, that's per skit even. So if we do two or three skits, you

could be making more than that.

Oh, wow.

Yep, yep.

That's a lot of money.

What do you do full-time? What do you do now? Like, do you work?

I'm a full-time student, yeah.

Full-time student, you're in college?

Yeah, freshman, yeah.

Fuck, what a waste of time, huh?

It feels like it sometimes, yeah.

What a waste of money that's gonna be huh?

So basically just in debt right now Yeah, do you pay the debt or do you did

you?

Pawn that off to your poor parents who now have to work keep working in their

older years just to pay off your meaningless schooling

Yeah

Yeah, no, we tried that whole thing, but now we make so much money we don't need

school.

Wow. Fuck school.

I wish, yeah, I wish that could, I wish I could relate.

Yeah, well, you can. What do you say? You want to, you want to give it a try

or a whirl? Are you serious? It's just like acting for your tutoring? Look,

I'll tell you what, I'll give you a hundred bucks right now just to, um,

just to, um, um.

Just the interview?

Yeah. No, the interview, uh.

Skit? God damn it.

No, when you show up and you do a... Oh, a casting.

Like a casting. Like audition.

I'll give you a hundred bucks for an audition.

For an audition?

Yeah.

I'm even paying you for the audition, yeah.

Oh, okay.

Put it away. Yeah, I'm going to give you some lines to say.

And you're just going to stay there. You're going to look right at the

camera. And then you're just going to kind of say the lines. And that's it.

And just do it with the energy and emotion.

And we'll see how you deliver.

So you said your name was?

Megan.

Megan okay so Megan all right so so your name's Megan so I just need you to look

at the camera and just be like hi yo Megan and you want to see my titties

wait okay um hi I'm Megan and wait like You said like you

want let me see yeah, you want to see my cities just look at the camera Say you

want to see my titties. This is scared.

It's yeah, it's just a skit. It's just a skit. Yeah, I mean as long as it's just

a skit It's against the views, but that's what yeah, that's the comedy

about it. That's why you got to be willing to say You know you really

really say anything like I make fun of his mom on camera all the time I don't

really mean it.

You know yeah, I haven't really had sex with his mom like well He doesn't know

that right, but I mean I kind of did but you know, but we just say it you know

what i mean like we're gonna dp your mom you know and like i mean even though it

did happen he doesn't know about it but like we say things like that and we just

you know the part of the skit we'll talk about it later yeah yeah we will yeah

we'll talk about it later so uh you know what i mean okay so yeah just go hey i'm

megan you want to see my tits okay um hey i'm megan do you want to see my tits

there you go good awesome pretty legit awesome okay so that so that's the first

part of the skit so the second part of the skit would be now just um and and

i'll give you another 100 bucks for that so the second part is just to go ahead

and uh and uh flush your titties so go ahead when you're ready no no no i can't

no i can't do that relax what but you just said the skit was hey do you want

to see my city so now we're saying yes we want to see your titties yeah so now

so now you just show your titties so when you're ready just go ahead and um

we're in a public park like i can't do i i can't

Don't get too scared. Relax.

Come back here.

Look, relax.

Okay, I get it. I get it. You know what? You play a hard bargain, alright?

You're a hard bargain. So, you know what?

You're lucky.

You're lucky we make really good money. I probably shouldn't have told you how

much money we make. That's how... I think I fucked up. So, anyways, look.

Here's 400 more.

No, like, I'm in college. Like, my friends are all in college. I can't

just... flash my tits for the internet so are you saying you're not are you

saying you're not willing to help your parents pay for college that you're just

going to take take take i'm willing you're not going to help them at all you

don't even want to try to help them i can help them in other ways than

flashing my titties to strangers yeah but like you've got to be willing to

kind of you know help them out you got to be willing to give a little bit

No, I don't want your money. I just, I can't flash my pits right here. That's,

no, I'm sorry.

I guess this is a misunderstanding. So even if I, like, even if I, I mean, I

guess maybe you're right. I guess you're not the right woman for the job.

I mean,

I mean, I got, I, look, I mean, so I guess even if I gave you a thousand, I

guess, I guess maybe a thousand.

I mean, I was going to offer it to you, but I guess. You gave me a thousand

dollars to flash my pits.

Um.

So literally... Are you... No, you're serious?

No. You're not serious right now.

Yeah, we don't really joke around, girl. I mean, I don't know if you saw... I

don't know if you saw my bankroll here.

But you see this?

I see that.

Yeah, that's a good amount of money. That's what I have to spend on like two

skits. And that's like... What is it? About $8,000 there?

At least?

So... I can give you a thousand if you're willing to show some titties.

A thousand?

For titties?

Fuck.

Look, are you nervous? Look, here. How about this? I could always, um... You

know what? We could, uh... Block her? Yeah, maybe we could give her some

blocking. Maybe she's nervous.

Oh my gosh, is this happening right now?

Hold on, hold on.

Right there, yeah. There you go.

I'm literally getting $1,000 to do this. Why don't you put your pack down here?

Are you considering it? Because I see you kind of like... I'm literally...

Okay, if I'm getting $1,000 to flash my tits, I'll just fucking do it, man. I

don't care.

Okay, just anytime.

Yeah. Look, she's nervous.

Hold it, hold it. Oh my gosh, she showed us your tits.

Okay, can I can I put them away? Yeah, I can't get in here Oh,

I mean I think that came out a little natural. Yeah, I mean what I meant to

say was are you willing to go?

on a ride with us and Kind of like make some more money

plenty I mean you saw my bankroll I'm willing we are willing to share that

with you you guys are gonna like kidnap me or

come on that's retarded don't say that I mean you said you have a camera oh

here's your thousand actually oh thanks there's more money where that came from

good job girl

Look, we'll take you home, okay?

And you get in, you talk to us, we have some, you know, we talk, negotiate, we

figure out if there's some more crazy shit that you really need to do to make

some more money, help your parents out. Think about your parents, you know, do

it for your parents.

Think about your mama, do it for your mama.

Okay, okay.

Oh, one more thing, can you turn around real quick?

Yeah, you kind of... You want to make sure you're not wearing any...

Oh, nice.

All right, so what do you say? You willing to get in, take a ride with us?

Please.

Okay, I guess. Do you take this bus all the time? Because you know it doesn't

ride. Yeah, my... It doesn't ride on this day.

It doesn't? Nah.

Fuck. I don't work on weekends.

Ah, fuck.

Okay, my fucking house is five miles down the fucking street. We can take

you. Okay. We can take you. It's close. Make some...

more money about it yeah if you're about that life about that life if you really

want to help your parents out if you're not selfish fine i'll go on a little

ride yeah yeah yeah obviously let me just adjust

my camera my settings i've just gotta that's good open this up a little bit uh

so you said what like should we just go drive straight a couple miles what do we

do just like four or five miles down yep wow you could have

Yeah, no look wow you got some money there So

what do you do you said you're a full-time student, so that's so that

should help you a lot right thousand bucks Wow

that's good. We're so glad to help out like

college kids. You know I'm an old man, so I want to sit here on this bench.

Could you mind?

Do you mind sitting here with me?

Okay. So I don't have to like yell at you.

There you go. Just have a seat. Relax right there.

There you go.

So.

So that was pretty cool man. Have you ever done anything like that?

No. You realize that you just showed your titties for money right?

Yeah. Yeah. I do realize that. It's really crazy. I've never.

It's probably the craziest thing I've done in my life.

In your short life. Yeah.

Yeah, I can't believe I'm doing this right now.

Yeah, that's... Yeah,

I mean, yeah, your parents would probably be really disappointed.

Yeah, I don't know how I'm going to tell them I got his money.

They found it. They don't know, can't hurt them.

That's true.

I guess.

That's the only way.

Look, you gotta do what you can. You gotta do what you gotta do. You know

what I mean?

So don't worry. It's fine.

You're an adult though. This is part of growing up and being an adult. You gotta

make your own decisions. You can't lean on your parents forever.

Yeah, that's true.

So sometimes you gotta do some shit.

But you didn't seem too bothered by it. You showed us the titties. You didn't

seem too bothered.

How did that feel?

Not as bad as I expected.

Do you have a boyfriend?

No. Oh, thank God. Because if you did, you'd be a really shitty girlfriend.

Yeah, he'd probably be very pissed. You'd be a really shitty thing. Thank

goodness.

Thank the gods.

So, no boyfriend.

So is college really what... I know you... Do you do well in college?

Are you doing good in college? I think I'm okay.

You like a good book girl?

Like you're really paying attention?

I try. I try. Because I feel like colleges are just big fuck festes.

Are they big fuck festes? Yeah, it's a big party and all that. All I really do

is party, honestly.

Everyone just tries to fuck you?

Everyone's just trying to invite you to their house and fuck?

Yeah. Like do they say, hey, do you want to study? Does that mean like, hey, you

want to fuck?

Yeah, honestly, yeah. All the frat boys and stuff, yeah, they're a bunch of

horndogs. So are you having your fair share of, if you don't mind me asking,

are you having your fair share of sex in college since you don't have a

boyfriend? Yeah, I am.

You are?

I am.

Wow, you said that a little too freely. I was quick, too.

Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I'm just, it happens. It's college, man.

Gonna have fun while you can.

So, you're a little free bird, huh?

You can say that.

Enjoying the sex life?

So, you're probably pretty comfortable with your body then?

Yeah. Yeah, I like to think so. So, if I throw some more money at you, would

you... Oh, sorry.

Why isn't those breaking up? I'm trying to have it rain down and it's like... I

want it to go like...

like that wow but it's not doing it anyways it gave me the wrong effect i

didn't mean to throw it at your face um anyways if i threw some money at you

would you like show us what your underwear look like um

yeah booty look pretty nice hey don't be such a perv back there whoa that booty

look pretty nice um i mean if you're are you talking about like

Don't get all nervous on me now, girl.

Come on, you just got done saying you like to fuck, you're fucking horny, you

love sex.

Oh, my God.

I know.

Yeah. I mean, you're right.

She's like, yeah, but just, look, I know we just met, but would you be willing to

show us your underwear? It's just your underwear. It's like I'm wearing a

bikini.

That's true. I guess all my bikinis are thongs anyways.

Get that girl.

Okay. I'll show you my underwear awesome yes

you're making some good life decisions you're doing great at life

most girls would say no well they wouldn't even got on the van and then

look at look at the opportunities they missed out on you know and here you are

making tons of dough

Exactly don't worry those are the same girls that are like working at the

supermarket bagging or you know working at the coffee shop Yeah, hating on other

girls talking about like ah she's probably just a little whore Oh look at

this girl. She turned around and everything.

Have you done this before?

The fuck?

She turned around and shoved her butt. What's up?

Hey, so when you do have a boyfriend, are you into kinky shit or what?

You are into kinky shit?

Yeah. Oh my god.

She's bad.

Look at that.

I like how she's still being conservative with her legs closed

though. That's okay. That's good. So they're black with some flowers on them.

Nice. Awesome.

That's cool.

That's cool.

I hope you like them. Because you paid that much money for them.

Nice.

Oh man.

No, I think, you know, don't you feel, I mean, is it, is it not so bad? Is it

freeing? You know, I think it's good to be. You ever been to like nude beach?

I haven't yet. I want, I do want to go.

I think it's good to be nude.

It does feel kind of cool right now. I haven't been, I haven't had my pants off

in front of strangers like almost ever unless I was too drunk to remember.

Really?

Yeah,

I think the world should just you know get naked and be opened up Yeah, I mean

just live freely naked naked naked naked That's how it should be

naked naked naked No, just naked naked naked

I don't know why I keep saying naked so much.

Just kind of a fun word. You ever just sat there and said naked, naked, naked?

It's a fun word. Say naked, naked, naked.

Say it with me. Naked, naked, naked.

Naked, naked, naked.

There you go.

Yeah, naked, naked, naked.

Anyways, so actually, you know, we didn't really get a good... Do you mind

us showing those tits again? Do you mind?

i guess i already did it once money just in case here

we didn't really get a good view that's all oh my god look at these little

nipples i guess why not peanut gallery

i'm getting naked

dude are you jerking off back there what what no no i'm not are you Thought we

talked about this Juan Pablo, I told you can't just go jerking. Are you come out

of there?

Come out of there. What the fuck?

Oh my god.

I am so sorry. This is so embarrassing Fuck

I'm so embarrassed. Oh my god, dude. I told you you can't just Not gonna

work

Just because she's naked doesn't mean that, like, you just go and start

jerking off in the back. It's so... What about the Me Too movement? Oh, my bad.

What about the Me Too movement, man? I can't jerk off now when there's a naked

girl. No, you can't jerk off when there's a naked girl. Not without, like,

her knowing.

What are you guys talking about? This is so unprofessional.

I'm so sorry.

You know what? I respect your rights as a woman.

We're not trying to invade that or disrespect you in any way.

He should not be jerking off while you're naked.

That's, that's so wrong. He's still doing it. He's still, I, would you, can

you? What?

Fuck, dude, you guys are a tough crowd. You know what?

Yeah, you know what? Maybe if you masturbate also.

What? Then it's not so.

It's not so bad.

It's not so bad.

What? Because then, then you're both masturbating and then it's kind of like,

eh, you know? But why would I masturbate?

Like, what?

I don't know, there's one... Would you?

There's, uh... Two, uh... Two reasons.

Um... Well, there's lots of reasons. It's all over the floor.

Yeah.

Yeah, I... Fuck.

Look, let's be honest here, alright? You said you're a super horny girl, you love

the fuck, you haven't had... When was the last time we had sex?

Like, a month.

Rich? Almost.

What?

What a whole month.

You just said you were having fun in college.

What happened?

My principal at school got mad at me. One of the

dean's counselors.

Look at this guy over here.

Are you fully erect?

What are you doing, dude?

I think he's waiting for you to masturbate. Are you going to masturbate

with him? Can we do this or is this not happening?

Look, how about this?

I'll give you some of this.

Maybe just go over there and grab it. Yeah, just grab it.

Just grab it. Maybe help him.

Okay.

I like how she just laughs and giggles.

It's like, oh my god, I'm on a bus right now.

Oh, look. You see all that money on the floor? Yeah.

Oh my god.

I said watch out.

Oh,

she's touching it.

You little pervert. What are you doing?

Touching it on the highway.

Here we go.

Everyone really touching it right now.

Oh, shit.

Yo, she's stroking it.

She's jerking you off what the fuck look at I think she likes it Look

how she's staring at your face I Didn't know you had such low

standards This is this what you like here. Is this it right here?

Fuck you must give your pussy out all the time You

must be really friendly with that pussy you must just be giving it to people If

this is what you like right here, this thing right here.

Look at her, she's really happy. You have not even stopped jerking it.

What else do you like doing?

I like doing a lot of stuff.

Are you fucking horny right now?

Maybe.

You guys got me a little horny.

Oh my god.

So if...

Like we hit a bump and like your head just kind of fell down and your mouth

just kind of landed on his dick. You just kind of let it happen.

Yeah, I let it happen.

Oh, you feel that bump? Oh, you feel that bump?

Oh, there's that bump.

Open that mouth.

And away we go.

Oh, my God. Oh, my goodness.

You gotta love college girls. You gotta love them. Oh, my God, baby. You're

gonna pay that tuition. You're gonna work.

Oh, boy. I just don't think they care. Look at it. I think they're just... They

just love sex so much that they're not thinking about... Fuck.

Damn. Oh, shit.

Yep.

Fuck everyone that would disagree with this right now. Oh, baby, yes. Like

friends, boyfriends, parents.

Let's go.

Damn.

Oh shit.

Damn.

Oh, God.

Shit.

Let me see those pretty little eyes baby.

Let me see those fucking pretty little eyes.

Keep it together, champ!

Oh my god!

Oh,

that's

good.

Yeah, you're gonna make me cum.

You're gonna make me bust a fuck.

Yeah.

Yeah,

you look like you really busted a good nut there.

We both did.

Oh my god.

What the hell?

What the hell just happened guys?

That was wild.

what the that was awesome hook it like a g uh let me ask you uh

was that like did you just like really come that hard for real like was that

what was that yeah anybody ever make you come like that no that was insane

intense huh that was so intense oh my god um

here yeah yeah yeah Let's get our matters. Let's figure out where the fuck

we're at actually I

Think

he was watching the fucking yeah,

I think he was watching us. I think he got lost

Did we get lost?

Got lost in the sauce.

Man, look at all this money on the floor.

You know what? Can we air this out, man?

All I smell is you guys' sex and sweat and stuff. Wow.

There we go.

That's better.

That's better. That's better. You want to get air, babe?

Yeah, let's step out. You want to step out? Step out real quick.

It's hot in here.

Yeah, yeah.

Oh, there's money on the ground.

Here, look, this is your shorts.

Oh, thanks.

I got you, I got you.

Oh, look, your top.

Yeah. Hey, hold on. I want to talk to her. Can I shut this door? I can't see

you. I can't see through this fucking thing. Hey, what's up?

Man, this is fucking crazy, right?

I know, right? Have you ever been out here to the Everglides?

No, this is nice.

Yeah, this is, you know, yeah, there's like... Oh, thanks. It's like alligators

and shit back there, and you know what yeah all the wildlife and shit. You've

never been back here Yeah, I gotta be careful So so basically be careful when

you're walking home because there's gators and then there's a lot of other

wildlife There's a lot of wildlife here, so just be careful. Okay. I don't know

exactly where we're at but definitely We're civilization.

I think it's more this way

What? We're driving you. Yeah, we're gonna go eat sushi.

No. No, you guys were supposed to drive me. That's what this, like, whole thing

was... I mean, it was about the money, but you guys were supposed to drive me

home. Yeah, look, we're not thieves.

So there's your stuff.

Let me see. Here, you know what? Get the door. Is the door... Yeah, you can go

ahead. We're just kidding. Go ahead.

It won't open. Here's a hard. Here's a hard lesson as you're young you'll take

with you in your older years Don't just always trust people What the fuck are

you talking about? Fuck you!

She's attacking us! Oh shit!

Bye!

She flipped me off!

You almost got me killed man!

You gotta be more on point!

She almost killed me! God dammit Paco!

I'm gonna fucking pay you on food Fuck!

One little sushi Yo pick up all the fake money How did she not know? Did she go

to school for this?

Damn, what are they teaching these girls at school? She's definitely not going to

school for economics