Original subtitles

SARA: One Thousand and One Nights.

The famous tales and legends from ancient Persia.

It was always believed

they were just stories for children,

but nothing could be further from the truth.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER] SARA: A few months ago,

a document written by

Suleiman the Magnificent himself,

Sultan of the Ottoman Empire, was found.

It's called The One Thousand and Two Night,

and he proves

that all those wonderful stories are all true.

According to his account, a lamp was found

by a young peasant boy called Aladdin

at the beginning of the 10th century.

The lamp was magic, and it granted him three wishes.

Years later, a band of robbers lead by Ali Baba

found the lamp and hid it in the desert...

[HORSE NEIGHING] ...the 40 thieves.

[EPIC MUSIC PLAYING] SARA: Another century passed,

and an explorer seeking to discover the world

came across the lamp, Sinbad the Sailor.

Besieged by pirates,

he hid the lamp somewhere in Greece.

And there,The One Thousand and Two Night ends.

Suleiman dedicated his whole life

to finding the lamp

so he could expand his empire across the globe.

But he never succeeded

and the lamp faded into oblivion. [EAGLE SCREECHING]

SARA: Until now.

[MUSIC RISES] [CHILDREN LAUGHING]

[BELL TOLLING] [BIRDS SCREECHING]

[COGS CLINKING]

[TAD GRUNTS]

[EXHALES] Huh?

Hey! Come back here! [PANTS] [SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING]

[PANTS]

There you are.

[PANTS, COUGHS]

[GRUNTS]

[SCREAMS, GROANS]

[GRUNTS, PANTS]

[SCREAMS]

[GRUNTS, SCREAMS]

[MUSIC CONTINUES] [GROANS]

[EXCLAIMS, BLOWS]

[GRUNTS]

[SCREAMS] [BELL TOLLING]

[GRUNTS]

[GRUNTS]

Olimpia Stones! Bubu!

[EPIC MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC CONCLUDES]

Olimpia Stones! What did I say about running away?

[WHINES]

Could you please stop? What's going on?

Testing, testing... Is this thing working?

[GRUNTS] Oli!

[GIGGLES]

MUMMY: Hey, Mummy Fans!

It's your bro here, all the way from London, UK.

Hey, look who's right here with me, my buddy Jeff!

Hey, Jeff! Say "what?" Oh, gross.

Belzoni, buddy, say something to my followers.

Come on! Show me some sugar. [HORNS HONKING]

Mumma! [EXCLAIMS] [GASPS, GRUNTS]

Oli, what are you doing here? [GIGGLES] Mumma!

Oli, come here! Go on. Go with Daddy

and don't be a pain in my bandages, all right?

Mummy, be careful, this is really dangerous.

Uh... Hello, I know there. I'm a professional.

[SCREAMS] [DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]

No! [GASPS]

It's okay! I'm okay! Saved by the bell.

[BELL TOLLING] [MUMMY SHOUTS]

[SIGHS IN RELIEF]

[MUSIC CONCLUDES] [INDISTINCT CHATTER]

[MOTORCYCLE WHIRRING] [MYSTERIOUS MUSIC PLAYING]

[DOORBELL CHIMES] [DOOR CREAKS OPEN]

ARCHAEOBOT: Ming Dynasty. [GASPS]

ARCHAEOBOT: 1412.

These pieces are very delicate. You should be careful.

Oh, my God! Please allow me to repair it.

Adhesive B7124

for porous surfaces should suffice.

Repair complete.

What the dev-- SARA: Oh, there you are!

I told you not to leave my side.

Sorry. I'm Sara Lavrof, from the University of Chicago.

And that thing? I am an archaeobot.

I can run, dig and translate any language, living or dead.

I know the history and customs of thousands of civilizations. [GROANS]

And I can also tell jokes! Knock-knock.

Who's there? [PLAYFUL MUSIC PLAYING]

Annie. Annie who?

"Annie thing" you can do, I can do better. [LAUGHS]

[GROANS] It's a prototype of a robot,

which they're making me test out.

It's supposed to "make our work easier."

[DOORBELL CHIMES] Darling, we're going to be late.

We've got tickets to a musical,

and I want to show off these amazing fabrics

that I got from the hotel. These foot warmers are so cool!

It's called a "bathrobe", and it's not a gift.

You have to return it.

Hi, darling, I'm Ra-Amon-Ah, great pharaoh, uh--

Colleague! She's an archaeology colleague.

We're looking for some antique darts,

19th century.

Hmm... I think I have quite a collection around here.

[BELL TOLLING] MUMMY: Woah, woah, woah, hold up. Wait a minute.

What do you mean, let's go back to the hotel?

We've only just got here!

We have to see the Changing of the Guard,

meet Sherlock Holmes, drink tea at teatime--

Yeah, sorry, Mummy, but Oli needs to eat and take a nap.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER] Oli, Oli... Always Oli!

If she's tired, just give her some coffee.

Mummy, please!

[EXCLAIMS] Kids don't drink coffee.

Oh. I'm sorry, but we're going to the hotel.

Oh, that's real nice. [BABBLING]

Let's just do what she wants to do.

Come on, buddy, don't be jealous.

Jealous? Moi?

This has nothing to do with jealousy, pal.

I'm mad because I think you love her more than me.

[BABBLES] Hey. What are you doing with that?

That's mine! Not yours. You got it?

Don't touch my stuff, kid! [GASPS, KISSES]

What did she do to my Dolores? Did she hurt you?

Come on, sweetie, let's go to the hotel.

"Sweetie?" [SCOFFS] You never call me "sweetie!"

[GROANS, EXHALES] This is all we have.

Darts! [GASPS]

Two thousand and forty-seven darts,

to be precise.

Take that thing away! Can't you switch off for a bit?

Negative. My battery lasts for three years.

Ten minutes on 5G.

Two hundred years trapped in a museum,

and now I'm free, you bring me to an antiques store.

Some friend you are... I'm sorry, but I need that dart.

It's like looking for a needle in a haystack.

They all look the same.

[ARCHAEOBOT WHIRRING] [SARA GASPS]

ARCHAEOBOT: Got it!

Would you like me to find the needle in the haystack now?

Oh, thank you, but I would've found it.

Do I detect a note of envy? [PLAYFUL MUSIC PLAYING]

Of that piece of junk? Come on, I'm just worried.

These things could put us archaeologists out of a job.

You're mistaken, Sara. I don't want your job.

I just want to do your work

so that you don't have anything to do.

Ugh. [MUSIC CONCLUDES]

[DOORBELL CHIMING] [MYSTERIOUS MUSIC PLAYING]

[RAMONA GASPS]

[EXCLAIMS IN FEAR]

RAMONA: Stars above, he is beautiful.

[DEEPLY] I'm looking for this royal dart.

Oh. RAMONA: My, my! And that voice!

Who is this god come down to earth?

SARA: Suleiman VIII,

descendant of Suleiman the Magnificent.

His family has been looking for the lamp for centuries.

Where is it? [GASPS, GROANS]

Mm.

He called himself "the Magnificent"?

Oh, from now on, call me "Ramona the Extraordinary."

[GASPS, SHOUTS]

[DOORBELL CHIMING] Hmm?

I report that the hostiles have spotted us.

[GRUNTS, PANTS] [TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]

[GASPS, SCREAMS]

[SINISTER MUSIC PLAYING]

Hmm.

[AIRPLANE WHIRRING] [TAD IMITATES AIRPLANE WHIRRING]

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

Um... [SPITS] [GASPS]

Come on, Oli. Why don't you ever eat with me?

[BABBLES, GIGGLES] You like that?

Well, one day, it'll be yours. A gift from Daddy.

I almost didn't know mine, did you know that?

But don't worry, I won't let that happen to you.

Together for always. I promise. [HEARTWARMING MUSIC PLAYING]

[BABBLES] [SCREAMS] Ah! No, Oli!

You need to use your pinkie too! No, no!

[OLI BABBLES] [MUSIC CONTINUES]

Wow...

What an artist you are... But remember,

Mummy isn't the only member of the family, right?

I'm there too.

Mumma! No. Tad. Daddy.

Look, let's put the two of us together.

[GIGGLES] This is you, this is Mum,

and this fine archaeologist is your father.

[BABBLES] [DOOR OPENS]

Tad, we need to talk. [GASPS] Mumma!

Wasn't that kid going for a nap? Off you go then.

[GIGGLES] Come on. Bye bye. Go, go, go!

Okay, look. Since we've been a little cramped at home lately,

I thought we could do some renovations.

If we take out these walls, and divide up the kitchen,

we can build a room for Ramona.

Uh... Mummy, listen, I... I know, I know.

You're wondering "what about the cockroaches?"

Don't worry. They will live right here.

And Jeff and Belzoni can sleep in this bit.

Cool, huh?

And scene is I don't have a room

on account of the tiny little squatter,

we'll put her in this little house right here.

[EXCLAIMS] What? And I'd sleep in your room.

I call the middle spot! [GIGGLES]

Mummy, just please listen for a second, okay?

We were gonna tell you

when we got back from vacation...

[GASPS] You're getting me a pony!

I'm sorry but we won't be living together.

Huh?

You know what, with Oli at home, there's...

there's not enough room for us all

and maybe it would be better for you and Ramona to move out.

This is your fault! [SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING]

Faut! Don't say that.

We're a family now, and we want to spend some time together.

But I'm your family! I always was before.

But sure, now it's all "perfect little Oli."

"Oli needs to eat, Oli needs to sleep,

Oli needs burping!" [LAUGHS]

Well, who's burping me, huh? No one! I have to do it myself!

[COUGHS, BURPS] [BURPS, GIGGLES]

Look what you're teaching her. That's gross!

Gross? She's the one who poops herself!

Tad! We need to get out of here. We're in danger.

[ENGINE REVVING]

How come we're in danger? Who's after us?

[BABBLES] The last descendant of Suleiman.

The Magnificent? What a nutcase, right?

Suleiman.

You say "Suleiman" before my name?

[HORN HONKING] [TIRES SCREECHING]

[EPIC MUSIC PLAYING] It's all here,

in the One Thousand and Two Night.

But you said nobody knew where the lamp was.

I do! It's somewhere near-- Okay, I'll shut up.

I'm sorry, I had no idea. If I'd known it were dangerous,

I never would have brought you along.

Especially not Oli.

Ugh, little princess can't get her hands dirty!

So, where's the lamp? Hidden in Buckingham Palace.

TAD: Since when?

And why haven't they said anything?

Because they don't know they have it.

At the end of the 19th century,

an English explorer found the lamp hidden in some ruins.

[ARABIC MUSIC PLAYING] SARA: He took it

and other archaeological treasures

to the capital of the British Empire

as a gift to Queen Victoria. [BELL TOLLING]

[BIRDS CHIRPING]

SARA: When the English lord first gave the queen the lamp,

she wasn't very impressed. [CHEERFUL MUSIC PLAYING]

Another teapot? Meh...

[HUMS HAPPILY]

SARA: And then the genie appeared

and offered her three wishes. [GASPS]

SARA: One would assume

she would ask to make the empire more powerful.

But the queen had other plans.

[SNICKERS] I want a bigger crown!

This one is ridiculously small. [WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYING]

SARA: The second wish was along much the same lines.

[MAGICAL TINKLING]

SARA: The queen wasted her three wishes inventing hats.

To stop the lamp from falling into enemy hands,

she camouflaged it in a place

where it would attract the least attention.

And it has remained there... until now.

[EPIC MUSIC PLAYING]

[BRAKES SCREECHING] [MUSIC CONCLUDES]

Really? This is the Royal Palace?

What a dump. It's a back entrance. Come on.

[JEFF PANTS]

Queen Elizabeth had a secret tunnel built

so that she could visit this pub without anyone knowing.

But are we just going to take the lamp?

The British keep half of my pyramids in their museums.

Nothing will happen if we take a small lamp.

There it is. [INTRIGUING MUSIC PLAYING]

The passageway opens

when you stick the dart in the right spot,

but we have to find a plank somewhere in the... [GASPS]

Right spot located!

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING]

It's easy to find the right spot when you have X-ray vision.

RAMONA: Better wise up, darling,

or that piece of junk is going to usurp your throne.

Yes, so clever.

Let's see how that metal ball thinks

it's going to get downstairs.

ARCHAEOBOT: Activating "stair mode!" [WHIRS]

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC CONCLUDES] [JEFF BARKS]

Downstairs reached. [JEFF WHIMPERS]

[BABBLES] It's so dark in here.

Let's go, Oli. Be careful with that flashlight.

[SIGHS IN ANNOYANCE]

"Careful, Oli. Don't hurt yourself, Oli.

Oh, we all love each other so much..."

No offense, darling, but you're insufferable.

Huh, you bet I am.

You would be too if you knew what I know.

This is a labyrinth.

I think it's this way. Negative. It's this way.

Ugh, how I hate that thing.

You okay, darling? Do you want to explain?

Sure! The lovebirds want to get rid of us!

Say what?

Yeah. They want to kick us out because of that little monster!

[TAD GROANS] Mumma!

I'm sorry, I had to tell him.

Oh. I wouldn't say "kick you out"

is the right expression. We just want a bit of space.

Traitor! I thought we were like sisters.

This hurts more than the scorpion

my cousin used to knock me off my throne.

[EXCLAIMS] Slave, hold me, I'm going to faint. [SCREAMS]

How could you? We're supposed to be bros!

Please let's not argue now. We need to find the magic lamp.

Oh? And what are you going to wish for, huh?

Another daughter to come and overshadow me?

Mummy, please, let's just keep going.

Remember we're not safe here. [SIGHS IN EXASPERATION]

Kick us out, after everything I've done for them?

Like not throwing them to the crocodiles.

You know what? I wish there was a thing that granted wishes.

And I would ask it to go back to the past, to Paititi,

to when I was young and everybody loved me.

But there is no such thing. [GROANS]

[ARABIC MUSIC PLAYING] [GASPS, LAUGHS MISCHIEVOUSLY]

[MUSIC CONCLUDES]

The lamp is in that display case.

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING] I'm going for it. Wait here.

SARA: Tad! [GRUNTS]

[DOGS SNORING]

Huh? [DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC CONCLUDES] You think they like dogs?

We'll have to be careful. They'll alert the guards.

Uh, keep calm and carry on, buddy.

We need that lamp, right?

Oops. No, Mummy, careful!

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING] [TAD GASPS]

[SIGHS IN RELIEF] Oopsy...

[GRUNTS] [PHONE RINGING]

Yello? [GASPS]

No, no, no, no, thank you.

I don't want to switch providers.

What? One year of free MuchoFlix? Tell me more!

[GASPS] [TOYS SQUEAKING]

[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]

[JEFF BARKS] [GASPS, GRUNTS]

[TOY SQUEAKING] [SCREAMS, SHUSHES]

All right, and do you have a minimum contract period?

I knew it! It's always in the small print! Right?

Shut up!

[TOY SQUEAKING] MUMMY: Never! No!

I don't care if you give me a new phone!

What brand is it? What are you doing?

Oh, no, no, no. I'm not interested.

Don't call me tomorrow!

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING]

Hmm... Now, which one is it?

[CLINKING] [DOGS GASPING]

[GASPS] [DOGS GROWLING]

[GROANS] [GROANS]

Ramona! Don't! [WHIMPERS]

Who wants a supercookie?

[DOGS PANT] Go get it! Fetch!

[DOGS BARK] [ADVENTUROUS MUSIC PLAYING]

[IN ENGLISH ACCENT] Hello, my babies!

No, that's not to play with.

I've told you 20 times. Leave the crown!

Such majestic ears! No wonder he's the king.

[MUSIC CONCLUDES] Is it this one? Or this one?

They all look the same.

That's an old teapot. This is the magic lamp.

How can you be so sure? ARCHAEOBOT: Because it says so.

[MYSTERIOUS MUSIC PLAYING] [GASPS] Cool!

Ooh, be careful. It's very powerful.

Ugh. Here we go again. "Be Careful.

Don't leave the gas on,

don't light that cigarette lighter."

[MOCKS] I am sick of it! Grant me my wishes, lamp!

[MUSIC CONCLUDES] Darling, you have to rub it.

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING] Really? Okay.

[MAGICAL TINKLING] [GASPS IN SURPRISE]

[EPIC MUSIC PLAYING]

Good afternoon. [MUSIC CONCLUDES]

[CROWD GASP] Huh?

What were you expecting? A hunk in a loincloth?

I do not even have time to cook dinner,

and you think I'm going to the gym?

Congratulations, you are the master of the lamp,

then as such you're entitled to three wishes.

Cool, let's see. Mummy, wait!

Don't ask for anything! It could be very... [GRUNTS]

[GRUNTS] [TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]

[PANTS, GRUNTS]

[GRUNTS] I hate being disturbed at work.

Okay, for my first wish, I'd like to--

Hold on, I haven't finished.

I must read you the basic rules of the lamp

as dictated by the agreement

concerning Magical Activities and Objects.

"One, you may not kill anyone.

Two, other people's wishes cannot be overridden.

Three, you may not use pizza toppings

that do not go with pizza,

such as pineapple or fish and chips."

[PLAYFUL MUSIC PLAYING] Don't look at me, I didn't make the rules.

[WHISPERS] [GASPS]

"Four, you may not request another thousand wishes."

[SCOFFS] I wasn't going to. No, sure. Please be responsible.

This lamp may create amazing wonders.

[EPIC MUSIC PLAYING] World peace, end global hunger, terminate injustice.

I wish Jeff could talk! What?

[MUSIC STOPS ABRUPTLY] What?

What? I can never understand his barks.

[PANTS] Another kook,

like that woman with all the hats.

[WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYING] GENIE: Granted.

[BARKS] Supercookies! Who's talking to me?

Who's talking to me? Hello, hello!

[GIGGLES]

We must stop him before he makes another crazy wish.

[GRUNTS] You may proceed to wish number two.

May I remind you that with great power

come great responsibility and--

[GASPS] I wish Belzoni could talk too!

This guy's a nut.

Darling, may I ask what you're doing?

My lamp, my wishes. [SIGHS IN EXASPERATION] Granted.

Hel-- Hello? Hello!

I can talk! At last I can say what I think.

You're all a bunch of nincompoops!

Oh, that feels so good! What is your third wish?

Do you want that thing to talk too?

That is not necessary. I can talk already.

I can even tell jokes.

What did one toilet say to the other?

You look a bit flushed. [LAUGHS]

How about you activate "shut your beak mode?"

Got that programmed? Burn!

Burn! Burn! Ba! Ba!

Mummy, you have to put them back as they were!

Never! [GRUNTS]

My third wish is to return to Paititi,

to when I was famous and everyone loved me.

What? Hmm...

Time travel, no one's ever asked me that before.

Mummy, no!

Well, the rules don't say you can't, so... granted.

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING]

Yeah, we're going to Paititi! No! I wanted to go to Egypt!

No! You can't go to the past!

No problem! I'm on it! [GROANS]

[SHOUTS IN JOY] [GRUNTS]

[GRUNTS] Oh, come on!

[SCREAMS] [SCREAMS]

No!

Thank you for using the magic lamp.

We hope you enjoyed the experience.

Please don't forget to leave a review

and follow us on Instazam.

[GRUNTS] [MUSIC CONCLUDES]

Okay, everything's fine, everything's fine.

We just have to get the lamp and--

Give it to me. [GASPS]

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING] [GRUNTS]

More friends! Hello! Here!

[GRUNTS] [SCREAMS]

[TAD GRUNTS] [TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]

[GRUNTS] [GRUNTS]

[GRUNTS][EXCLAIMS]

[PANTS][TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]

Oh, come on, come on, come on! Which way was it? [PANTS]

[PANTS]

Split up.

I want him alive.

Are we going to the park? [PANTS] I think we lost them.

[SCREAMS] [EXCLAIMS]

[CHEERS] [MUSIC CONCLUDES]

[SIGHS] Are you all right, sweetie?

[BABBLES]

[GRUNTS] Let's go before these guys show up again.

[SNIFFS] Hmm. What is it? The ground shudders.

Oh, wait, this is... the tube!

[SUSPENSE MUSIC PLAYING]

Oh! [LAUGHS]

What's that light? It's getting bigger.

[GRUNTS]

[PANTS] [PANTS]

Are we racing? Run! Run!

Choo-choo! [GASPS] No, no, no!

Hold on! [HOWLS]

[CHEERS, LAUGHS]

Stop! Stop! No, no. No, no, no!

[GRUNTS, SCREAMS]

MUMMY: [OVER SCREEN] Belzoni, buddy,

say something to my followers. [LAUGHS]

MUMMY: [OVER SCREEN] Come on! Show me some sugar.

[SCREAMS] [TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]

Huh?

[GROANS]

No, no, no! Yes, yes, yes!

[GASPS] Oh.

[MAGICAL TINKLING] [GASPS]

Aren't we a nuisance? A genie can't even take a nap.

[BABBLES] Take us to Paititi with Mummy!

Wait, wait, wait, first I must read you the rules. [WHIMPERS]

[OLI GIGGLES] [GRUNTS]

Hurry up! Okay, okay, just a second.

I need to type it.

[SULEIMAN LAUGHS EVILLY] Now!

GENIE: And... wish granted!

[GRUNTS] [JEFF EXCLAIMS]

Whoa!

[GROANS]

[TRAIN CHUGGING]

[MUSIC CONCLUDES]

[RUMBLING]

[SCREAMS] [SCREAMS]

Oli! Oli! [BABBLES]

[SIGHS IN RELIEF] [BIRDS SCREECHING]

Yes! Yes! Yes! It worked! [TRIUMPHANT MUSIC PLAYING]

We traveled back in time!

[OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING]

Oh, no. We traveled back in time!

Okay, we're in the 16th century. It's a very dangerous age.

What's that! A beautiful and harmless kitty!

[SCREAMS IN FEAR] Hi, there, kitty! Can I play?

[GRUNTS] Oli! Oli!

[PUMA ROARS] [GRUNTS] No!

Drop it! Bad kitty! Let her go!

[GRUNTS] [GRUNTS]

[ROARS]

[CRIES] It's okay. It's okay, sweetie.

I won't let anything happen to you. Remember?

Together for always. [HEARTWARMING MUSIC PLAYING]

[GASPS]

[BABBLES] No. No, no, no, not... not like that...

[SCREAMS] [LAUGHS HEARTILY]

Come on, Oli. We have to find Mummy.

[ADVENTUROUS MUSIC PLAYING]

Okay. Ready? Eddy!

[HEARTWARMING MUSIC PLAYING]

JEFF: Where are we going? To look for sticks?

'Cause if you throw a stick for me, I'll fetch it for you.

[MUSIC CONCLUDES] [BIRDS CHIRPING]

ARCHAEOBOT: My calculations indicate

that this is not necessary.

You're a talking robot in the 16th century.

You cannot draw any attention.

The probability of someone believing I'm a bird

is 0.00000... [DISTORTED]

[SYNTH MUSIC PLAYING]

[DISTORTED] Oh, yeah.

Whoa! Wait... But-- What... What's happening to me?

I detect an animal mating ritual.

Sorry, sorry, I... I can't help it!

Marry me! Let's have chicks! [EXCLAIMS]

[MUSIC CONCLUDES] Come on, guys,

we'll soon be in the Lost City of Paititi.

It's got a pyramid that will blow your mind.

Please, this is crazy.

We have to find the lamp in this century and go home.

But what for? So you can get rid of us?

No. Because this is very dangerous.

If we change the past, we could change the future.

Relax, I know this jungle like the back of my bandages.

Stick with me and absolutely nothing will happen to--

You. [TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]

Not another step. [PURRS, SPITS]

[PLAYFUL MUSIC PLAYING]

Now, we're in trouble. Don't worry.

He's a Paititi soldier. He's taking us to the city.

We'll explain everything there.

Silence! Or I will set loose the llama!

[CHEWS]

Oh, but he's adorable! Who wants me to pet him?

[GROWLS] [SCREAMS]

Huh? Come on!

[MOANS] [MOANS]

So, what's a bird like you doing in a jungle like this?

[INCA MUSIC PLAYING]

[BIRDS CHIRPING]

Here we are at last! Paititi!

[EPIC MUSIC PLAYING]

[SIGHS IN RELIEF] Home sweet home.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER] [MUSIC CONCLUDES]

[CLEARS THROAT] Excuse me, fellow citizen,

I think there's been a misunderstand-- I said "silence!"

You look very familiar.

What did you say your name was? [GRUNTS]

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING] That's your famous pyramid?

Meh...

Your Majesties! [MUSIC CONCLUDES]

I stand here before you with enemies

whom I captured in--

KING: What's that? Louder, I can't hear you!

Oh, boy... Come on.

[SCOFFS] There's no way I'm climbing that, darling.

Someone can take me on horseback.

[SCREAMS] [SCREAMS]

[SCREAMS]

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING]

[TRUMPETS BLOWING OUT OF TUNE] GUARD: Attention!

Hmm? Huh?

[PANTS] [PANTS]

Your Majesties... Oh, boy.

One moment, please. [SIGHS] [SIGHS]

KING: Get to the point, soldier!

We're in the middle of some family time.

Right away, your Majesty. Ah...

[GROANS] [GROANS]

Please allow me, Your Highness

to present to you these enemies as a token of my respect--

[TRUMPETS BLOWING OUT OF TUNE] GUARD: Attention! The crown prince!

[HUMS] [SIGHS DISDAINFULLY] Just what I needed.

Father, mother! Look what I have learned!

[FLUTE PLAYING OUT OF TUNE]

My son the artist. [LAUGHS] Such a marvel, such an honor.

Uh... Pardon me, your Majesties, but I, uh...

[FLUTE PLAYING OUT OF TUNE] Not now, Tupac.

Can't you see we're being graced

with divine music?

[INTRIGUING MUSIC PLAYING] Tupac?

Of course! Tupac! It's me! What?

Tupac is him from the past. It's Mummy 500 years ago.

Bingo. And she's my pet, Hoofy!

The most affectionate little thing in the world.

Didn't you say you were famous? Because this guy's Mr. Nobody.

It was like 500 years ago. How should I remember?

Now that you mention it, I was very lonely.

Everybody ignored me. [GASPS] Oh, no! What have I done?

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING] And I remember that rugrat too.

Another spoiled kid stealing my thunder.

Like the squatter. Ugh.

Such a little creep! Huh?

What did you say?

Oops! [TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]

Me? N-- Nothing.

You called the crown prince "a little creep."

What? No, I didn't!

Nobody dare insult the crown prince.

But I, uh... No. No, no, no...

You are expelled from the Soldier Corps of Paititi!

Oh, no. [GASPS] The shame!

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING]

[GASPS] Hmm.

Oh, no.

[BIRDS CHIRPING] [HUMS]

[WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYING] [OLI GASPS]

Huh?

Mumma? No, not "Mumma."

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING] Tad! Daddy! [GASPS] Oli!

The city of Paititi!

I never thought I'd see it in all its glory.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

[GIGGLES] Oh. [BARKS]

[MUSIC CONCLUDES] [BIRDS CHIRPING]

TUPAC: "Oh, the crown prince is so funny.

Oh, he's so perfect, he's so great at everything!"

I can't stand that little creep! [SIGHS]

None of this would've happened

if somebody hadn't stuck their nose in! [CROWD SCREAMS]

Oh, sorry. Did I scare you?

I was talking about the crown prince.

You're free to go now.

[SIGHS] What am I gonna do now? I have nothing. I'm all alone.

But you have a family who loves you so much, right?

I'm an orphan!

[PLAYFUL MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC CONCLUDES] [HOOFY PURRS]

Oh, it's true, I forgot. My life was so sad!

We have to do something. Tupac has to be a guardian!

Why?

Yeah, there are way more fun jobs out there.

If he's not a guardian, he won't become a mummy.

And if he doesn't become a mummy, you won't exist.

[PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING] MUMMY: But I want to exist!

[SCREAM ECHOES] [BIRDS CHIRPING]

[MUSIC CONCLUDES] [GRUNTS] Mum-- Mummy...

Guardian-- Exist-- You-- I-- What's up with the old guy?

Well, I know it's hard to believe, but...

we're from the future.

[MOCKS] Someone's been licking toads.

Out of my house. It's the truth.

This person in front of you is called Mummy

and he's you in 500 years' time. [GROANS]

Hoofy... attack.

[HOOFY PURRS] [TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]

[GASPS, SCREAMS]

Hoofy, no! [SCREAMS] [HOOFY BAWLS]

[GASPS, SNIFFS]

[PURRS] Oh! Hoofy!

My old friend!

Oh, I missed you! You have to believe us.

Look at this piece of junk. It's not a bird. It's a robot.

ARCHAEOBOT: Technically, I am an artificial intelligence

mounted on a mechanized system that can-- [GRUNTS]

[SYNTH MUSIC PLAYING] ARCHAEOBOT: Patience exhausted.

Cancelling disguise. I still love you.

Let's focus. [MUSIC CONCLUDES]

Mummy, tell Tupac a secret that only you know.

Hmm... Okay, I admit it.

I haven't cleaned my teeth in two years.

[GROANS] Yuck!

Something only Tupac would know, darling.

Oh. I've got it!

You have a birthmark on your heel

in the shape of a butt.

Whoa, wait. How did you know that?

[INTRIGUING MUSIC PLAYING]

[GASPS]

So, it's true... But how is that possible?

There's a magic lamp that grants wishes.

We can use it to go back to the future

and you'll be a guardian again.

[MUSIC CONCLUDES] [INDISTINCT CHATTER]

Let's see if we can get in without attracting attention.

[FLUTE PLAYING OUT OF TUNE]

Mm. What's it called again? "Churros."

Perfect for dipping in hot chocolate.

Churros? [PANTS EXCITEDLY] [SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING]

Churros! Jeff, Jeff, no!

Churros! Churros! Churros! [PANTS] Nom, nom!

Chocolate!

[GASPS] A demon dog! [SCREAMS]

[GASPS, GRUNTS] [SCREAMS]

Geronimo! Big mess! Out of here!

Jeff! [PANTS]

Oh, no! I'm going to die! [CROWD CLAMORING]

Jeff, jump! I'm a cat!

[GRUNTS] [GRUNTS]

[SIGHS] Good churro! [CHOMPS]

[GRUNTS] He tried to murder me! [SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING]

ARCHAEOBOT: According to my calculations,

and taking into account

the century that we are currently in,

the lamp is hidden in Greece. [MUSIC CONCLUDES]

It's amazing that this thing can talk.

Cool, huh? Uh... "Cool?"

Yeah, it's dope, wicked, awesome.

You know, you just say "cool." Cool.

Sorry to interrupt, but I can talk too.

[SCOFFS] You're a parrot. That's normal.

Excuse me, I'm a macaw.

And what's not normal here is your face.

Guys, enough. We have to find the lamp

and reinstate Tupac as a guardian.

We have to find a way of getting to Greece.

What's "Greece?"

A country on the other side of the ocean.

What? There's nothing on the other side of the ocean.

It ends and then you fall off.

Ugh. And a flat-earther to boot. The earth is round.

It is an ellipsoid, to be precise.

Cool!

Got it! We're in the year 1502. Christopher Columbus--

1502 is when Christopher Columbus made

his journey through Central America.

We could get to Greece on his ship.

Hey! That's what I was going to say.

It was my idea. My... idea. [SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING]

[CROWD GASPS] I'm sorry, but that lamp has to be for me.

[GASPS, GROANS] [SCREAMS]

[GROWLS] Hoofy, after him!

[GRUNTS, SCREAMS]

Ugh. The human has turned hostile.

Activating "escape mode."

[GRUNTS]

Activating "shout of pain mode." Ow...

Hold on there, my friend. I'm just a parrot. [CHUCKLES]

Polly want a cracker? [GRUNTS] Shame on you!

Done. Let's go, Hoofy.

With that lamp, I'll be King of Paititi.

And that little crown creep will know who's boss.

[MUSIC CONCLUDES] [INDISTINCT CHATTER]

Help! Help! [CROWD GASPS]

Past-me has gone crazy!

[PANTS, SCREAMS] [CROWD CLAMORING]

Oops, so sorry! [SCREAMS, GROANS]

[GRUNTS] Oh, God. Let me go!

I have the right to an attorney! [GRUNTS] Oh... What the...?

[PANTS] I do-- I do not like the look of those sardines!

Hey! Come back!

TAD: [SOFTLY] Mummy? [GASPS]

Tad, buddy! Mumma!

Oh, and Oli came too. That's great.

TAD: What happened? Where are Sara and Ramona?

MUMMY: They got kidnapped.

What? By whom? By me. I mean, past-me, Tupac.

We told him about the lamp

and now he doesn't want to be a guardian anymore.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. You can fill me in later.

Right now, we have to get out of here.

[GRUNTS] Jeff, see that rope?

Finger! No, no, no, the rope.

Oh... finger!

No, that rope! You have to bite it so it...

What's that? Sausages? Jeff, no! [GRUNTS]

[GRUNTS] Sausages! Sausages! TAD: Hang still.

I'll pull you up. [TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]

JEFF: Sausages. [BABBLES] Izard!

[SCREAMS] Oli! No sausages?

Oli! Stop! [BABBLES]

[CLUCKS] Running away, huh? Classic Oli...

That's it. Oli, the rope! You have to untie that rope!

Ope?

No, no, no, not that one, sweetie. Next to it! The rope!

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING] Wope?

That's it! Now, pull it!

[SCREAMS]

[BABBLES] Oh. Oh. Oh, no, no, no! Oli! Stop!

Would you hold still, snotface! [GIGGLES]

[CROWD SCREAMING]

Oli![CHEERS]

[GRUNTS] [LAUGHS]

[MUSIC CONCLUDES] [SIGHS IN RELIEF]

TAD: That was close, sweetie.

[BABBLES] Here.

Yeah, thanks a lot, kid, but I was going to save myself.

Okay. It says here

that Sinbad escaped from the pirates

and hid the lamp in... Greece!

[WHIMPERS] How are we gonna get to Greece?

Sara said something about a Miss Columbia or Columbo...

Columbo...? [BABBLES]

Oh, of course! Christopher Columbus!

He's got ships! We could... [CRICKETS CHIRPING]

Mummy... You said that your past-you

doesn't want to be a guardian? Can you believe it?

And the worst thing is

that if he doesn't become a guardian...

TAD: You won't exist.

[BIRDS SCREECHING] [INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING]

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

So, there I was, like, holy tamole,

face to face with the Catholic Monarchs.

So, like, these skinflints tell me

they're not paying for the trip. And you know what I do?

I take out an egg!

[GASPS] [GASPS]

So, I said to the king, "If I can stand this egg up,

you give me the cash and three ships."

And he's like, "Deal." And I'm like, "Yeah?" Bam!

[GASPS][GASPS]

The egg was cooked! And so was he, you get me?

[ALL LAUGH]

[MUSIC CONCLUDES] Tupac, this is crazy.

I guarantee that in the future you'll have a happy life.

If you stop being a guardian, you'll lose it all.

[SCOFFS] I'm going to be king of Paititi.

My life's going to be wonderful! [SCOFFS] "Wonderful," he says.

Darling, you've no idea what it takes to be king.

Of course I do. Reign, order, have subjects...

Be jealous, envious, have enemies...

Believe me, I know what I'm talking about.

Ramona was a pharaoh,

but after three days... [CLICKS TONGUE] [GASPS]

She was an adviser to Nefertiti. Aunt of Tutankhamun.

Don't start.

Her name is Ra-Amon-Ah. With pauses in it.

Listen to her. Ramona's right. Fine, you can be my adviser.

[LAUGHS] In your dreams, darling.

Not for all the gold in the world.

I can make you my queen. [PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING]

I accept. What?

[HOOFY PURRS] Have you gone crazy?

You can't be serious.

[GROWLS] [SCREAMS]

Hmm. Between reigning with this guy

or you and Tad giving me the boot,

I'll take the palace and jewels. Call me crazy.

You've lost your mind!

Don't worry, darling, I won't leave you in the lurch.

I'm not like you. [BIRDS CHIRPING]

I'll help you reign,

but you promise me you'll use one wish

to send them home. [SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING]

Done.

Pachamama, your skin is so soft!

Thank you. [CHUCKLES] I use rat's milk.

You can let go of me, by the way.

No, you let go.

[GIGGLES] No, you first. No, you.

Ugh, I'm going to throw up... [TUPAC AND RAMONA LAUGH]

Both at the same time. One, two, three! [GASPS]

You didn't let go. [LAUGHS] Neither did you. [LAUGHS]

Ugh. [RETCHES, PUKES]

All right then, queeny. Let's go get ourselves a ship.

[OWL HOOTING] [CRICKETS CHIRPING]

[SNORING] [WHISPERS] Wait. What was that?

My belly. I'm starving. [BELLY GROWLING]

No, no, no, listen. It's coming from over there...

[GASPS] [SNORING]

TAD: What happened here?

MUMMY: This is the work of past-me. I'm a genius!

[GASPS] Sara! [PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING]

Hurry, we have to get one of those ships.

[SCOFFS] No problem! Wait. Me first this time.

And I don't even want to hear you blink.

Hmph. [SAILORS SNORE]

[WHISPERS] We have to be... really careful...

[MUMMY GASPS] [SCREAMS]

[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING] Sorry,

I thought I saw a scorpion and I'm in sandals.

Gives me the heebie-jeebies! [GROANS]

Boing, boing, boing! [PHONE RINGING]

Yello?

No. I don't want to switch providers!

How did they manage to call me in the past?

What are you doing?

Let me be loudly clear about this, buddy! [TAD SHUSHES]

Do not call me again! Do you hear me?

Do not call me again! [MOANS]

[SCREAMS] Run! I clicked unsubscribe!

[INDISTINCT CHITTERING OVER PHONE] [SAILOR MOANS]

Oops! Sorry, sorry, sorry! An egg! [CHOMPS]

[ADVENTUROUS MUSIC PLAYING] [PANTS, GRUNTS]

[GRUNTS] [GRUNTS]

[GRUNTS]

Yeah! We did it! We did it! [TRIUMPHANT MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC CONCLUDES] How exciting!

I haven't been on a ship in centuries! Literally.

[JEFF PANTS]

Come on. [GRUNTS] We have to get out of here as soon as we...

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING] Hello! What's that?

Can I have some? What did you put in this?

[BELL RINGING] Intruders! Intruders!

[SAILORS GROAN] [SCREAMS]

[SCREAMS] [TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]

[GRUNTS] [GRUNTS, GASPS]

[SCREAMS]

[GRUNTS, SCREAMS] [SAILORS SCREAM]

[SCREAMS] [MUSIC CONTINUES]

[WHINES] [SAILORS GRUMBLE MALICIOUSLY]

I'm sure we can talk about this, right?

[GASPS] Mumma! [GRUNTS] [SCREAMS]

[GRUNTS, GROANS] [GRUNTS]

Oli! [GASPS] [GROANS]

[WHINES]

[PANTS] [OLI GRUNTS, BITES]

[SCREAMS] [GROWLS]

[GRUNTS] [SCREAMS]

[JEFF CRIES]

[SCREAMS] [SCREAMS]

[BABBLES] [SCREAMS]

[MOANS]

[LAUGHS TRIUMPHANTLY]

[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY] [LAUGHS MOCKINGLY]

[GRUNTS] [ADVENTURE MUSIC PLAYING]

[PANTS] [LAUGHS, GRUNTS]

[GRUNTS]

[LAUGHS MALICIOUSLY] [GRUNTS]

[SCREAMS] [SCREAMS]

[LAUGHS] Take that! [TAD GRUNTS]

[SUSPENSE MUSIC PLAYING] [GRUNTS]

[SCREAMS]

[GRUNTS] Butt-heel attack!

[SCREAMS]

Oli and Mummy to the rescue! [TRIUMPHANT MUSIC PLAYING]

[LAUGHS] Weigh anchor! Let's go. [SAILORS WHINE]

Pinzón brothers, get those bozos!

Uh... Sorry, Mr. Columbus! No! No! [CRIES] My baby!

[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING] [SCREAMS]

[EPIC MUSIC PLAYING] [SEAGULLS SCREECHING]

Boom! That was amazing! [GIGGLES]

Come on, gimme five, buddy! [GIGGLES]

I mean... You didn't do too badly for a squatter.

[EXCLAIMS AFFECTIONATELY] [HEARTWARMING MUSIC PLAYING]

What is this feeling of happiness

running through my body?

Why do I feel like crying for joy?

[BABBLES] [GASPS] It's love!

I love you, Oli!

From this day forth, we'll be the best of friends!

You've stolen my heart! [BABBLES]

Guys, focus. We have to catch Sara and Tupac.

I can't even see their ship now.

We know they're heading for Greece,

but we have no idea where.

"Beneath the holy rock in the City of the Living."

What does it mean?

And this picture, is it a barcode?

In the 12th century?

Maybe Tupac doesn't know where to go either.

Sara or the archaeobot will've worked it out.

Think, Tad, think...

[SCREAMS] Oli, no!

It's a... It's a very old document.

It's... It's not for drawing. Ouse.

[PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING] "Ouse"?

[GASPS] It's not a house!

It's the Parthenon! Oli, you're a genius!

The Parthenon is on top of a hill, the holy rock.

And the City of the Living is the Acropolis,

that's its name in Greek.

That's where Sinbad hid the lamp!

You heard him. Crew, set course for the Parthenon!

Tad will be captain, Oli and Jeff lookouts,

and I'll be an old pirate with a wooden leg

called Black Gums.

[GROWLS] [GROWLS]

Guys, calm down. [HEARTWARMING MUSIC PLAYING]

Getting there won't be that easy.

We're leagues away and the ocean is very dangerous.

We have to ration our food and water.

There might be storms...

Buddy, don't be such a party-pooper.

Look at the sun, look at the blue sky,

look at this awesome boat.

Relax and enjoy it. [UPLIFTING MUSIC PLAYING]

[SCREAMS] [SHRIEKS]

Everybody stay calm! [THUNDER RUMBLING LOUDLY]

[WHIMPERS] I'm sure it'll blow over soon!

[ELEVATOR MUSIC PLAYING]

MUMMY: Everybody stay calm! [GRUNTS]

I'm sure it will blow over soon! [GIGGLES]

[MUSIC CONTINUES]

[TAD SCREAMS] MUMMY: Everybody stay calm!

TAD: Stop talking now! [OLI CHEERS]

[INTRICATE MUSIC PLAYING]

[COOKIE SCREECHES]

[SHIP CREAKING]

SARA: The sun is at its highest point.

It's midday.

We've been traveling for three months.

If my calculations are correct, we're two days away from Greece.

Negative. We're two hours away from Greece.

Would you be quiet?

Could you maybe leave something for me to do?

I just want to help.

You just want to steal my job!

Ring, ring. Hello? Oh, yeah, one second.

It's for you. It's Envy and Jealousy.

[GROWLS ANGRILY]

[SHIP RUMBLING] [WAVES CRASHING]

[WOOD CREAKING]

SARA: Ramona?

Tupac?

[ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING]

Do you trust me?

No, but you're wonderfully handsome.

Yeah, that'll do.

[EXCLAIMS]

Open your eyes. Look at this beautiful sunset.

[INTENSE MUSIC PLAYING]

[SCREAMS] What is it? [SCREAMS]

[BREATHES SHAKILY]

[WHIMPERS]

That is not good.

[MUSIC INTENSIFIES]

[SCREAMS, GASPS] Protect your queen! [EXCLAIMS]

[CORSAIRS EXCLAIM]

Oh, hey, fellas! [GASPS]

[ALL GASP, WHIMPER]

[INTRIGUING MUSIC PLAYING]

[SCREECHES]

It's Suleiman the Magnificent!

[BLEATS]

Charmed. Ra-Amon-Ah the Extraordinary.

[BIRDS SQUAWKING]

[GRUNTS]

[ROPE CREAKS]

Look. This is what will happen if we don't find the lamp.

I'll disappear forever, and you'll never see me again.

Poof!

[GASPS, SOBS SOFTLY] [GASPS] Hey, don't worry.

Everything will be okay.

I promise.

[TENDER MUSIC PLAYING]

[HUFFS]

It's official. I'm jealous.

He's jealous! He's jealous!

I don't know what that means, but he is!

A park! A park!

[GASPS] I can't believe it. At last! We're here!

[DYNAMIC MUSIC PLAYING] [SEAGULLS SQUAWKING]

JEFF: So many trees!

I'm gonna pee on every single one of them!

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING]

So, you're looking for the lamp too?

I mean my lamp.

Actually, we already know its location.

[GROANS] [METAL CLANGS]

Your elbow accidentally hit me.

Shouldn't this kid be at school?

Silence! I'm not a kid.

He's clearly a kid.

Oh, am I? Would a kid do this?

Throw yourself overboard!

[CORSAIR SIGHS, GROANS]

[BREATHES DEEPLY, GRUNTS] [WATER SPLASHING]

I'm a man! A ten-year-old man!

And when I find the lamp,

I'll become the sultan of the empire

and I'll conquer the whole world.

And I'll have the biggest turban the world has ever seen!

And my family will respect me and stop calling me "Chickpea."

You remind more of a peanut.

Silence that parrot!

Macaw! [GAGS]

Enough time-wasting. Bring me Rib Breaker!

And a lollipop.

[SLURPS]

[FOOTSTEPS THUD LOUDLY] [TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC INTENSIFIES]

[SNORTS]

"Rib Breaker." Nickname 100% accurate.

And you should be called "Heartbreaker."

[SCREAMS, CHOKES] I love you.

[SLURPING] We can do this one of two ways.

You hold your tongues and Rib Breaker breaks your ribs

or tell me everything you know about the lamp,

and Rib Breaker breaks your ribs. [GRUNTS]

Uh, I'll tell you.

What? Seriously?

Yeah, but in return, you give me one of your wishes.

A little one. And you don't break our ribs.

Done. I won't break your ribs.

[GRUNTS]

[SLURPS] Break his ribs instead. Huh?

[SIGHS DEEPLY, CHOKES] [RIB BREAKER GRUNTS]

[EXCLAIMS] [CORSAIR GROANS PAINFULLY]

[INDISTINCT CLAMORING] CAPTAIN: Ship ahoy!

Hmm, another Spanish ship?

What?

Pity we don't have something that will let us see far away.

The spyglass will not be invented

for another 50 years, you can borrow mine.

Is your elbow going to accidentally hit me again?

You. Angry lady. [GRUNTS]

You seem smart. Use this.

[SIGHS]

[INTRIGUING MUSIC PLAYING]

SULEIMAN: You know them?

[GASPS]

Who's that? Who's that? It's future me.

They're looking for the lamp. We need to hurry!

Take these guys to prison. The rest with me.

Lanky, you're coming with us.

[MUSIC INTENSIFIES, FADES]

[INSECTS CHITTERING]

JEFF: So many steps! Twenty, two, five!

I don't know how to count!

Come on, guys.

The lamp has to be here. I can feel it.

Feel it! Feel it! [LAUGHING] Nailed it.

Oh, it's too bad your dad won't let us live together.

We would have a blast. [WHINES]

Oh, don't be sad. We'll think of something.

Guys, we have to be so careful.

[PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING]

TAD: Corsairs.

Quickly! Through here!

[MUSIC INTENSIFIES]

Sinbad hid the lamp in the Parthenon,

but the Parthenon is huge.

MUMMY: If we wanna find that lamp,

we have to think like a lamp. Uh, a lamp. I am a lamp.

What does a lamp look like? Come on. [QUIRKY MUSIC PLAYING]

It's like a little teapot!

Oh. A teapot. A spoon!

Spoon-- A little knife! [OII BABBLES]

And a fork!

Come on, come on, I think I'm getting it.

Uh, keep focus, focus.

Duh-- Come on, Oli.

[GRUNTS]

[BIRDS CHIRPING]

Sugar bowl mixer and pressure cooker!

Choo, choo!

Nope, I've got nothing.

[BIRDS SQUAWKING]

[INTRIGUING MUSIC PLAYING]

Oh! [GRUNTS]

[MUSIC FADES]

Yeah, and then you put your arms like this. [BABBLES]

That's it! We're gonna nail it in Got Talent! [GIGGLES]

Hmm, there must be some kind of passage down here.

[HUFFS] Let's play. Not now, Jeff.

Play! Play! Play! Look, Jeff.

JEFF: Stick! Fetch!

Stick! Where did the stick go? Where is it?

[ENTHRALLING MUSIC PLAYING]

[GASPS]

The compass rose. Yes!

I'm gonna need some kind of lever.

[HUFFS] Stick!

Jeff, come here. Hey, hey!

It's my stick! Find another one! Give me that!

[GRUNTS] Look, a supercookie!

[GROANS] Where? Where? Supercookie!

[STONE SCRAPES] [GRUNTS]

[GRUNTS]

[OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING] [SPIDERS SQUEAK SOFTLY]

MUMMY: That's it!

There you go. High five. [GIGGLES]

[MUMMY LAUGHS]

[SIGHS] Mummy, I'm leaving you in charge of Oli.

Hide here and don't make a single sound.

Those corsairs could be close. Huh?

Oh, yeah, sure. No problem. You just go! We'll be fine.

[MISCHIEVOUS MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC RISES]

Buddy, I just had a thought.

Why doesn't Tad want me to live with you guys, hmm?

Because he thinks I'm a clumsy, useless oaf.

Well, I'll show him how responsible I can be.

And how am I gonna do that?

By putting your life in danger! [EXCLAIMS]

[GRUNTS]

[INTENSE MUSIC PLAYING]

What's this?

Where's the lamp?

[MUMMY GRUNTS] [STATUE RUMBLING]

Remember Oli, when your dad comes out,

I'll push the statue over

and then rescue you before it squishes you.

He'll be so impressed,

he'll let us live together forever.

[BREATHES DEEPLY, GRUNTS] [STONE SCRAPES]

[MUSIC INTENSIFIES] [STONE THUDS, CREAKS]

[REFLECTIVE MUSIC PLAYING]

[GRUNTS] Guys! Guys, I've got it!

The lamp is in-- [EXCLAIMS] Oli? [STATUE RUMBLING]

[GIGGLES] [TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]

Oops. Mummy, what are you doing?

Me? Nothing.

[GASPS] Oh, no! Oli's in danger!

[COOS, EXCLAIMS]

Oli!

Relax, I'll save her.

I'm super responsible! [SCREAMS, GROANS]

[GIGGLES] Oli! [PANTS]

[BABBLES] [YELLS, GRUNTS]

[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]

[DEBRIS CLATTERING] [LOUD THUDDING]

Oops.

[GRUNTS] What did you think

"don't come out under any circumstances" meant? No... no. I was just trying--

Do you realize what could've happened to her? Look, Tad,

I was just tryna show you how responsible I am.

[COOKIE SCREECHES]

[INTENSE MUSIC PLAYING]

It's past-me.

[GASPS] They're... they're here! They're over here!

Wasn't he with Sara? Where's Sara?

Got bags? I have poop.

You're Suleiman.

The Magnificent! Where's my lamp?

There's no lamp.

Rib Breaker. [CHAIN CLINKS]

[WHIMPERS, GRUNTS]

[SCREAMS] Okay, okay! There's no lamp.

But I found that.

[ENIGMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]

The location of the lamp. At last!

Get them!

Hey, hey, careful!

I'm a mummy with rights. All right? My bones are fragile.

Wait, I didn't mean to--

Well done, lanky. You've earned your wish.

And that is why Ottoman prisons

were renowned for being totally impregnable.

Probability of escape is 0.00000003200...

If you don't shut up, I will throw the bucket at you.

...00.

Tad! Sweetie! OLI: Mommy!

Friends! I'm excited. I'm gonna wag my tail a bunch.

What are you doing here?

You in here, with the freaks. [SCREAMS]

They cornered us. I had no choice.

The main thing is to find that lamp.

We have to get to the Parthenon.

It's not there.

Sinbad left a map to find it in Ali Baba's cave

but Suleiman has it now.

Ah, it's my fault for getting you all into this.

No, it's Tupac's fault.

Sure, he's handsome. Very.

Gallant, dazzlingly charismatic. Irresistible.

But he's a snitch. An idiot.

Stop blaming everybody else for your mess-ups.

If you hadn't been so hell-bent on traveling back in time,

we wouldn't even be in this situation.

Well, I admit... [WHIMPERS]

...that jealousy made me go off the deep end a bit,

but I've matured now.

I promise to take care of Oli like a little sister.

I won't let you put her in danger again.

But, but-- You almost squashed her with a statue!

What?

MUMMY: But it was an accident. [WHIMPERS]

[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]

C... come on, we can fix this. You never fix anything!

You make things worse and worse! Oh, just tell the truth.

You don't like me, and you never have.

We just want some privacy.

You're the only person in the world

incapable of understanding something so simple!

Well, don't worry, because I soon won't exist

and I won't be a part of your precious family!

You're not our family!

Ooh, harsh.

[SCRAPBOOK THUDS]

[SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING]

[OLI SOBS]

Sara?

SARA: [SOBS] Do you remember how we fell in love?

We're together because Mummy came into our lives.

Well, well, call me Dr. Love. Not now, darling.

Mummy, if you don't exist...

Oli won't either.

[MUSIC INTENSIFIES]

[SOBS] You're bad!

[SOBS]

We have to get that lamp.

[BIRDS SQUAWKING]

Uh, hey. Your Highness, I mean, your shortness.

What... what are you gonna do with them?

Please, promise me you won't kill them.

I promise.

[SIGHS]

Rib Breaker will.

[WHIMPERS] I'll be too busy conquering the world.

My family will finally take me seriously. [GRUNTS]

You have no idea what it's like to have four siblings.

They take your stuff without permission,

pull your hair, call you "Chickpea."

But as soon as I find the lamp, they'll have to obey me.

And I'll be able to sleep in the top bunk at last! [CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]

Giddy up! [HORSES NEIGH]

[SCREAMS] [DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]

[GROANS] [GRUNTS]

[GRUNTS] Oh, I nearly got 'em.

[QUIRKY MUSIC PLAYING]

[GRUNTS] I need more. Ramona, lend me a hand.

Careful, I've just had a manicure.

[GRUNTS]

Just a bit further.

[GROANS, SIGHS] I've got no choice.

[GRUNTS]

[GROANING] Oh, come on.

[GASPS, SCREAMS]

Mummy! What? It was very cold.

And that skin is very sensitive.

[ARCHAEOBOT HUMS]

[KEYS JANGLING]

You couldn't have done that sooner?

Well, I didn't want to steal your job.

[LAUGHS] He's got an answer for everything.

[HORSES MUNCH]

[WHISPERING] All clear. Come on!

[MUNCHES]

[GASPS] Hoofy? [TENDER MUSIC PLAYING]

Hoofy, my baby! [GRUMBLES]

[DOOR SLAMMING] [GASPS]

[HORSE NEIGHING] [GRUNTS]

[SCREAMS] [MENACING MUSIC PLAYING]

[HORSE NEIGHING]

We need that map.

I don't recommend engaging with Ottoman soldiers.

The probability of survival is one in 2,937,434...

Is he always such a buzzkill? [SIGHS] Always.

[ARCHAEOBOT CONTINUOUS COUNTING]

Quick, get in there.

[NEIGHS LOUDLY]

[ENTICING MUSIC PLAYING]

[INTENSE MUSIC PLAYING]

[GASPS] Morning!

What the... Huh?

[GRUNTS] No... no! I don't wanna turn into a hideous Mummy! [GASPS]

[GRUNTS, YELLS]

[EXCLAIMS] Get them!

[HORSES NEIGH]

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING OVER INSTRUMENTS]

I promise I was gonna write to you, I swear.

Relax, darling. You were just a summer fling.

[GASPS] The shame!

Mumma? Huh?

[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]

[SCREAMS, PANTS] Let me out! [GRUNTS]

[TUPAC WHIMPERS] [OLI GASPS]

[GRUNTS]

Hey, Mummy, what are you doing?

Being responsible!

[YELLS]

[GROANS]

[LAUGHS MISCHIEVOUSLY]

Now, you won't be going anywhere. [TUPAC MUMBLES]

[GRUNTS] Tad, brake when I tell you! Got it!

Now! [GRUNTS]

[SCREAMS]

[GUARD 1 GRUNTS] [GUARD 2 GROANS]

[EXCLAIMING] Stop them now!

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING OVER INSTRUMENTS] [GRUNTS]

[YELLS] [SCREAMS]

[EXCLAIMS]

[GASPS] Mumma!

SARA: Oli, no!

[WHIMPERS]

[SCREAMS] No! Bad!

[WHIMPERS, GROANS] Oli! [GRUNTS]

[TRIUMPHANT MUSIC PLAYING]

[ALL LAUGH, CHEER]

[GRUNTS] One sec, who's driving?

♪ There was a dog Who had a horse ♪

♪ And Bingo was his name ♪

Cookie! Notify the guards!

Belzoni, get him!

Sure, send the bird.

[GRUNTS] Damn bunny eater.

[COOKIE SCREECHES]

[MUSIC INTENSIFIES]

[HORN BLARES LOUDLY] [METAL RATTLES]

[EXCLAIMS]

[GRUNTS, PANTS] [GROANS]

Well, can't you get this thing to stop moving?

Tad, we have to turn the chariot around! What?

Well, there's nothing to put in it.

I advise aborting this idea.

Sara, what are you doing?

Sorry. It's not personal.

Maybe a little. Now!

[GRUNTS]

Activating scream! [EXPLOSION]

[SCREAMS]

[DEBRIS CLATTER]

[GASPS, SCREAMS] [HORSES NEIGHING]

[TRIUMPHANT MUSIC PLAYING]

[ARCHAEOBOT MOANS IN PAIN]

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]

[GRUNTS] Punks...

[MUSIC CONCLUDES] [HORSES PURRING]

[GRUNTS] I'm sorry. Are you okay?

[STUTTERS] Did you see me? Oh, that was a blast!

[IMITATES MACHINE GUN]

I destroyed a 15th-century battle chariot!

Uh... yeah, I saw.

I'm an action machine. I feel alive!

[SHOUTS JOYFULLY] Alive!

Bad! Bad! [GRUNTS] Where's Tupac?

In there. [GROANS]

He was getting a bit tiresome, so there was no choice.

Mumma!

No, little one. I'm not Mummy and I never will...

Relax, being a mummy is really cool.

You just have to die.

What? I don't want to... [BABBLES]

Oh! What's this feeling of happiness

running through my body?

She's got your heart. Nothing you can do.

[GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING]

What's up with your hands? [TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]

[GASPS] My pianist's fingers!

[GASPS] Oli...

[HAUNTING MUSIC PLAYING]

We're running out of time.

Quick! We have to get the lamp.

[GOADS]

[HAUNTING MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING]

[EAGLE SQUAWKING]

[THRILLING MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC CONCLUDES] [SNIFFS]

Do you really think this is appropriate for a queen?

[SCREAMS]

Ooh. Are you okay?

It's too late to fix things with us now, darling.

Ali Baba's cave.

SARA: Guarded by the 40 thieves.

Hi! I'm Jeff! Do you have a ball?

Remember, I only have two wishes.

One, to help Tupac be a guardian again.

And the other, to send us back to our time.

First, we have to get that door open.

Every statue has a key. One of them has to be right...

Supercookie? Jeff, don't!

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING]

Watch out! [ALL SCREAM]

[TAD GRUNTS]

[GRUNTING]

[STONE THUDDING]

Balls! Little Balls! Throw them to me! Throw them.

Can somebody please throw one at his head?

Are you guys okay?

Don't worry. I'm here, sweetie, okay?

Together for always, remember?

[SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING]

[PANTS]

She'll come around. Don't worry.

We have to figure out which is the right key.

Which do you think it is?

That's the first time you've asked me something. [SCOFFS]

I don't know. They're all the same.

But you're the only one who can do it.

You're mistaken.

I was programmed in imitation

of the best archaeologist in the world,

you.

[GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING]

SARA: That inscription above the door...

It's in Persian, an ancient dialect.

"All or none."

Of course!

The thieves are suspicious people.

They'd never let one person go in alone.

Because he could steal the treasure!

That's it. "All or none."

We have to pull them all at once!

Can you do it? At your command, boss.

[GLORIFYING MUSIC PLAYING]

[ARCHAEOBOT SCREAMS]

My hero!

Now!

[WALLS RUMBLING]

You did it!

We did it!

Gimme five, bro!

Wow...

There it is.

[GASPS] Oh, my goodness! Look at all these jewels!

Come on!

Wait. There could be more traps. We have to be careful.

You stay here. My thoughts exactly, darling.

Anybody got a bag? I'm running out of arms!

Mummy, give me yours. Huh?

[EXCITING MUSIC PLAYING]

I've got this.

[GRUNTS, GASPS]

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING] [GASPS, GRUNTS]

[WHIMPERS] [GROANS]

I don't know why this idiot is so important to you,

but if you take one more step... [GROWLS]

See you later, alligator.

Don't listen to him! Get the lamp! Save yourselves!

[sighs] Promise me you won't hurt him!

You have my word.

[GRUNTS]

At last! The lamp is mine!

Tad, look.

[STONES RUMBLING] [HAUNTING MUSIC PLAYING]

At last, I will fulfil my destiny.

And I will conquer the world!

And I'll slap my brothers

whenever I feel like it! [LAUGHS]

It's scales! "All or none."

It needs the weight of 40 thieves.

Suleiman, put it back! It's a trap!

Uh-oh.

[SULEIMAN SCREAMING, GRUNTING]

No! Come back here!

Ha! Amateurs!

[EAGLE SHARP SQUAWKING SHARPLY] [BELZONI GRUNTING]

[GASPS]

Get her, idiots!

[GUARDIAN MOANING]

[GRUNTING]

Ha! I'm an action machine! [GRUNTS]

[GUARDIAN GRUNTS, WHIMPERS]

[OLI BABBLES]

Don't even think about touching my daughter.

[SARA GRUNTING]

I look good in anything.

Oh, my, this belonged to my great-aunt.

Those 40 thieves were such thieves!

Stupid little girl! Give me that lamp!

Oli, no, no, no! Here, to Daddy!

[BABBLES] Mumma! [GASPS]

[WHINES FEARFULLY]

[GASPS] Come to Daddy.

[GRUNTING]

I'm getting tired of seeing your face!

Why don't you go hunt some rabbits!

[OLI WHINES]

Oh, my goodness! What's going on here?

[GRUNTS] [MOANS]

[GROANS] Hey! Leave my friend alone!

[WHIMPERS, SCREAMS]

Let's go home. I'm don't wanna play anymore!

[SCREAMS FEARFULLY] [GASPS] Tupac!

[TUPAC GROANING]

[EXHALES SHARPLY] No!

[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]

[GASPS, GRUNTS]

You, the freaks! Help me! I'm just a kid!

[WHINING FEARFULLY]

BELZONI: Stop at once, you filthy bird!

[LAUGHS] Macaw power!

Tad, make the wishes!

[GROANS] You again? I was at the spa!

Well, you know the rules. You've already use one wish.

Tupac to Paititi, us to London. Tupac to Paititi, us to London.

Tad, the wishes, quickly!

TAD: We can't leave him here.

We have the lamp. Three wishes each!

We can save him!

I'll use mine and throw it to you!

I wish for you to send Suleiman

and his men home to their families.

GENIE: Granted.

[WHINES]

What? No, not to my parents!

I took their ship without permission!

[GROANS, SHOUTS] No, no! [SHOUTS] No!

Well, that's gonna give me a few years' rest.

So, what's your last wish?

There's only one way.

[SENTIMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING]

A noble sacrifice on your part.

[TYPEWRITER KEYS CLACKING] GENIE: Granted.

What have you done, Tad?

Someone has to take Tupac home.

No! There has to be another way!

Mummy, promise to take care of Oli.

Buddy! But she needs you!

Buckle up.

[SQUEALS] It's exciting!

Wait for me, darling!

Goodbye, my king! We'll always have Paititi!

I'm sorry, sweetie. I can't fulfil my promise.

[GRUNTING]

Remember me!

No, no, no! Tad!

The three wishes have been granted.

We hope you enjoy the experience,

blah, blah, blah. Review on Instazam,

blah, blah, blah. Good luck!

[GRUNTS, PANTS]

[MUSIC CONCLUDES] [INDISTINCT RUMBLING]

[GROWLS]

[GRUNTS, GROANS, PANTS]

[TUPAC MOANING]

Thank you for saving my life.

I'm sorry I got you into all this.

All that matters now

is you go back to being a guardian.

What? They won't let me back.

They still think I insulted the crown prince.

I have an idea.

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING]

[INCA MUSIC PLAYING]

People of Paititi! Please show your respect

for the crown prince's latest symphony.

[MUSIC CONCLUDES]

[PLAYS OUT-OF-TUNE FLUTE]

[CITIZENS GASP, GROAN]

You may continue.

[OUT-OF-TUNE FLUTE CONTINUES PLAYING]

[OUT-OF-TUNE TRUMPETS PLAYING]

Attention!

Oh, never mind, it's only Tupac. [PUFFS, PANTS] One sec.

[BONES CRACKING] [MOANS] Your Majesties,

I have come to reclaim my position

as guardian of the city.

Ha! A royal decree cannot be annulled.

And may I remind you

that you called the crown prince "a little creep."

Oh, I know, but I have something that will amaze you.

Hoofy! [TAD MOANING]

TUPAC: The miscreant who tried to kill the crown prince! [GRUNTS]

[GASPS] TUPAC: I pursued him the length and breadth of the globe,

and captured him in your honor!

[INTRIGUING MUSIC PLAYING] [GASPS] Uh, um.

I'm sorry, Majesty, I...

Listen... My apologies, Majesty.

I didn't mean to offend you. I was just...

[WHINES]

[INTRIGUING MUSIC INTENSIFIES]

Huh?

[lisps] Mother, Father, we will be safe with this man

and I will continue composing divine music.

[SENTIMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING]

You shall be the new Royal Guardian of Paititi.

[TRIUMPHANT MUSIC PLAYING]

Cool!

[CITIZENS CHEER]

As for the miscreant, throw him to the crocodiles.

Huh? Huh?

[MUSIC CONCLUDES]

[DOOR OPENING]

How did it go?

Relax, I persuaded them

not to throw you to the crocodiles.

Oh. [EXHALES HEAVILY]

Today. They're gonna do it tomorrow. What?

Don't worry, I'll think of something.

I'm a Guardian of Paititi, right?

That's the most important thing. Mummy and Oli are safe now.

[SENTIMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING] Thanks for everything.

[WHINES, SOBS] Buddy! Oh.

[SOBS]

[DOOR CLOSING]

[MUSIC INTENSIFIES]

[TYPEWRITER KEYS CLACKING] Well, the wish is possible

and does not break any of the rules.

But I have to warn you, it's a one-way trip.

Are you sure

this is what you want to ask for?

WOMAN: I've never been more sure.

Okay, then.

Granted!

[ENIGMATIC MUSIC PLAYING] [TAD GROANING]

Sara!

SARA: I'm always getting mistaken for Mom. [TAD SOBS]

[MUSIC CONCLUDES]

Hi, Dad.

Oli!

But how?

I used it to come rescue you.

I'm never gonna get rid of you, am I?

[GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING]

This is yours.

I didn't fulfil my promise.

You grew up without a father.

You've always been with me.

Every moment we spent together...

Every little memory...

everything I remembered about you...

has been with me all my life.

I became an archaeologist because of you.

And I swore I would find the lamp

and come and find you no matter what.

I'd have loved to see you grow up.

That's what I came to fix.

Together for always.

Together for always.

You're the best dad in the world.

[SOBS]

I wish to regain my childhood with my dad.

[ECHOES] I wish to regain my childhood with my dad. [EXCITING MUSIC PLAYING]

I love you, Dad.

I love you, sweetie. [SENTIMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC CONCLUDES]

[SNORES]

[SARA WHISPERING] Tad, here! [GASPS]

[BABBLES] [GASPS]

[BABBLES, GIGGLES] [GASPS] Sweetie!

[SENTIMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING] Buddy! We thought we'd lost you.

The genie sent us back, but the lamp's not here anymore.

Yes, it is. It's lost in Ali Baba's cave.

No one will ever use it again.

[EXCITING MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC CONCLUDES]

[LIVELY MUSIC PLAYING]

[GRUNTS] We did it!

Where are we? [GASPS] Great, sticks! Sticks!

Who wants to celebrate, family?

Family?

Now, I've been thinking,

maybe we can find an apartment with more rooms.

What do you think? Cool! We can have pajama parties!

I'm gonna need some PJ's. Will you lend me some?

ARCHAEOBOT: Isn't there a place for the archaeobot?

I can make do with something small.

I don't take up much room.

I think my office is big enough for the both of us.

Yay! Hooray!

Hooray! How about that musical?

Do you really think that after everything that's happened

I'd go to a musical with you?

Well, you'd think right! [BOTH LAUGH]

Daddy. [GASPS]

You said "Daddy," I heard you.

[BABBLES]

You don't know it, but you saved my life.

Stick! Stick! My stick!

[GASPS, GRUNTS]

May I remind you that I am a robot?

Well, nobody's perfect.

[BELL TOLLING]

[MUSIC CONCLUDES] TAD: At least we managed not to change history.