Original subtitles

You were born into a strange world Like a candle, you were meant to share the

fire I don't know where we come from, I don't know where we go But my arms are

made to hold you, so I will never let you go Cause you were born

Love your mother, yeah she's a

good one She'll build you armor and keep you warm as a hen The stars may fall

The rains may pour but I will love you evermore cause you were born

Johnny

I have to go now

Okay

You're going to be okay.

I'm fine.

Your life is going to be different now.

You know, she was a year younger than me.

It's so unfair.

Good to see you.

Bye.

Hey, babe.

He scored you some taters and matzo. Oh, my God, I love you both so much. Who the

fuck were all those people? I've never seen him before in my life.

That was very fucking random.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey.

Yeah, it's a thing now.

Are you okay?

I almost died, but then I did it.

So, yay.

So, what, do you do that, like... It's like whenever I eat. I don't like that.

It's not a big deal. You just stuck a needle in your ass. You stick a needle

of cotton in your vagina.

Okay, that's true. We all have to deal with something.

He's got the skin thing.

Oh, my God.

Is that still a thing? No, it was high school.

We could never have sex at night because he would glob his face with Vaseline.

Concealer. I love dating someone you dated. It's like we're lovers by proxy.

You guys are so good together.

And we talk about you all the time.

Well, I'm here, you know. I slept with my place in Brooklyn for like two

months.

Did you get to say goodbye?

You know, they told me she was going to make it to Thanksgiving, so... I'm so

sorry, honey.

I'm sorry.

You know, you guys are, like, the only people who said that to me today I could

actually believe. Oh, my God. It's like everybody in there had, like, a sympathy

boner. They wanted to jizz their condolence on my face.

I don't know what I'm going to do. I feel like everybody I see, they're going

to ask me what's up. I'm going to be like, my mom died, and they're going to

want me to do some, like, weepy terms of endearment sort of thing.

This makes me feel guilty like I'm not feeling the way I'm supposed to.

Hey, you feel whatever you want right now.

Call us anytime, okay?

I love you. I love you.

Oh,

you two should talk about the, um... What?

Did you tell him?

It's not the right time.

I'm gonna peg him.

It's never been a bottom before.

I could use your advice.

Oh my god, yes!

Okay, go. We'll talk. I'll text you.

Oh, and hey, don't worry. A little condolence is good for the skin.

I see what you did there.

Real help having you here.

Vicki liked you so much.

And everything you did was so supportive.

Thank you. I just wanted to thank you.

Hey, Johnny?

Hi, it's nice to finally meet you.

Sorry, I'm Edward.

I work at the hospice. I was taking care of your mom.

Oh, okay.

She told me so much about you.

Really? She talked about you all the time.

She really loved you.

Thank you.

Look, I'll leave the two of you alone, but if you ever need anything...

I appreciate it.

It was good to meet you.

Yeah.

What are you doing?

Oh, they say if you hang them upside down, they last longer.

Are you doing okay?

Just tell me I never have to see any of those people again.

I swear to God, I couldn't remember half of them myself.

Who's that woman who cried on my shoulder for like 20 minutes?

Oh, Miranda.

Yeah, she did a soap opera with your mother back in the 70s.

She probably thought there was a casting director around here someplace.

Although, uh, can I just say, like, the hospice nurse was kind of hot.

He's a good-looking kid.

Goddamn.

By the way, did you, uh, you never told your mom that

you're... I thought you did.

No.

But you told me, so I figured... That was such an awkward conversation, I

didn't want to have it twice.

Why? You told me to be Will instead of Jack.

I'm sorry?

From Will and Grace, do you remember? Like, Jack was the really queen-y,

effeminate one, and Will was the more...

straight-acting one, and you told me to be Will instead of Jack. And at the

time, I was like, okay, I'm glad we just got that reference point, but I don't

remember any of that.

It's the obligatory coming-out story I tell on all my many first dates. It's

all good. You helped me get laid a few times, Dad.

Thanks. Well, happy I could help.

She knew, though, right?

I wish you could have told her.

Yeah, I just figured I would tell her when there was somebody in my life I

felt like she should meet.

That never happened, so...

Do I look fat?

No, you look great.

I feel like I put on a ton of weight.

Because your mom decided, fuck it, she was going to eat whatever she wanted, so

I didn't too.

What do you want to do about the... You think we could go someplace special?

Yeah, I'm going to have to get back to you on that one.

So, have you seen any good movies lately?

Oh, thanks.

Oh, this is a great little movie. Did you see it?

With that girl I like from SNL?

Dad, what are you going to do?

I'm going to spend some time with my boy.

I know, but I'm not going to stay here forever. What are you going to do after

I... Don't worry about me. I'll be fine.

What did you do before?

What do you mean?

When I was a kid and I was at school and Mom was at work, like, what would you do

with yourself all day?

Johnny, what are you getting at? I don't know anything about you, Dad.

You know, and I... I would like to, now that it's just us.

Well?

What do you want to know?

Um, I don't know. Are you writing anything?

Yeah, I'm writing.

What are you working on?

Look, it's not really front of mind.

No, I'm not trying to be... Your mother was pretty much all I had time to think

about.

Why did she die?

What are you talking about? We never really talked about this. I mean, I feel

like I never got all the information.

Like, was chemotherapy ever on the table?

No, no. We didn't catch it in time, okay?

And your mother didn't want to go to the doctor until it was already too late.

Why? Because doctors are expensive, you know?

And we didn't have the money.

We'd already paid your medical bill.

Yeah, you did, and I was very thankful for that. I told you that.

Paid your rent last month, too.

Wait, hold on a second. Are you saying it's my fault?

No, honey, I... That's what you just said. Like, if I wasn't so broke all the

time, you would have gone to the doctor a lot sooner.

Johnny, I... That's... I'm gonna go for a walk, Dad. Yeah, look, I'm sorry,

okay?

Run, baby, run Until it all goes numb

You are the wind,

the flood, and the flame Nothing here can get me away You've come too far, you

care what they say Now you're the only thing in your way

now

you're the only thing in your way

fly

baby fly so nothing can get you down

sing till it all comes out

you are the wind

the flood and the flame nothing here can get in your way you've come too far to

care what they say you're the only thing in your way

My son is passionate, talented, intelligent.

He was always a lot better than me at letting things go and focusing on what's

really important and just not worrying about stupid bullshit.

Janitals.

Janitals.

Come on, penis.

Come on, penis.

I don't think he can hear you.

Too much caffeine makes me feel like I have to pee.

I get it. But I don't really have to pee. I just think I have to pee.

Anyway, hi.

Hi. Thanks for meeting me.

Of course.

I shouldn't be laughing right now. Why not?

Yesterday was my mother's... Just between you and me, your mother would

never have wanted those people.

She said, nobody's allowed to come over if they're just going to cry over me.

She thought it was a waste of time.

okay so i i uh i don't know what to say i have a million questions what was

was she like yeah i i mean she struggled for sure

i'm not gonna lie but you know it wasn't just some horrible sad kind of thing

i mean she was peaceful thankful you know

She was thankful for the sunshine and the wind chimes. And she was thankful

she could finally give up on her diet.

She had all the pink berry frozen yogurt in the world.

I forgot how the weather tricks you in LA.

You want to go for a walk?

That's it, yeah.

Sure.

So is it like a religious thing, or... Oh, no, no, no. I mean, there are

hospital chaplains in palliative care, but I'm not a... No.

I... Your mom was pretty adamant.

No priests.

She didn't want anybody praying for her. Yeah, we were pretty atheist.

Sunday morning we would just go to the movies.

Oh yeah, they told me you're a filmmaker or a writer.

Blogs and poetry and a video essay now and again. I'm trying.

Boy, you really do have to pee, don't you?

I really do?

Let's find a spot. Okay.

I wish I had been there.

I mean, you know, I wish I knew that woman you talked about, like, you know,

peaceful, thankful.

When I was a kid, she was always stressed out, you know, complaining

about everything.

And we would always fight because I was the one who would be like, Mom, like, it

doesn't matter that the Toyota cut you off on the 101, you know?

Live deep and suck out all the marrow of life.

Puts around all that was not light.

And not when I come to die.

Discover that I had not lived. Oh, my God.

You know Thoreau? I mean, I was in Dead Poets Society version. Oh, right, right,

right. You know, I watched that movie when I was a kid, and I fucking loved

it. Me too. But now I think, what do they do? They sit in a cave, and they

read poetry, and they do a school play, and the one dude makes out with the

blonde girl when she's asleep, and that's it.

Like, I did plays. I read poetry. I kiss people when they're awake.

Oh, wasn't the father in that, like, some strict conservative asshole? Yeah,

yeah, yeah.

We lucked out on that one.

It's interesting, though. You know what I mean?

Like, I always thought that it was like, you got your sorrow and your pain over

here, and you got your beauty and adventure over here, and I just had to

get from one to the other.

And the way to do that was to read Walt Whitman and stand on my desk.

These two, I think they're kind of more like...

I can't believe I met you yesterday.

Well, we can go back to small talk for a while.

What are some of your other favorite movies? Oh, God, so many.

I could recite to the 90s arthouse canon verbatim.

You sound like you watch a lot of old Hollywood.

What do you mean?

Well, your voice. It's got that... Everybody thinks that I'm British.

They're like, you have an accent. I'm like, no, I don't. They're like, yeah,

you do. They, like, argue with me. It's like I'm in the fucking Twilight Zone.

Nah, you're like Cary Grant or Clark Gable.

Catherine Hepburn.

Well, your hat's like Humphrey Bogart. Yeah, no, yeah. I'm just like... I'm

just really self-conscious about my hairlines.

Why?

I don't like the way I look.

Your mom showed me pictures of you.

I always thought you were handsome.

Really? Yeah.

Well, thank you very much.

And he came over to my place, and he looked nothing like his photo.

And he wanted to do this fetishy roleplay thing, like, oh, doctor,

doctor, look at my prostate.

God. And I'm like, why can't I just meet somebody at the grocery store?

Why can't I just trip in the street and have some gorgeous man catch me? Like a

romantic comedy.

Like a fucking gay romantic comedy. That's what I want.

As opposed to what? Like a sci-fi movie?

Sometimes I feel like my life is just like an anthology.

porn movie you know it's like every mediocre hookup i just do it so i can

think about it later when i masturbate sorry that's really embarrassing it's

okay maybe a porn movie can turn into a romantic comedy it's more like the other

way around no let's just um

let's just live long enough to find out what kind of movie it's going to be

Amen to that

It's getting late

Fuck yeah Can I walk you home?

Yeah

Can I come in for a minute?

Just to say hi to your dad.

Sure is asleep.

You take care of him, okay?

Thank you.

For everything.

You're welcome.

I want to, like, see you again.

Yeah, I'd like that.

Is that okay? Is that, like, allowed?

Your mom wanted this to happen.

What? She said to me, she was like, when my son comes home, two

of you...

Me too.

And she had this big happy smile on her face.

It's better.

We can see in their eyes that they want each other.

He wants to go deep.

Deep inside.

See ya.

Hey, hang on to it.

I'll get it later.

Okay.

Licking his lips, he advances, getting closer and closer.

He unbuckles his belt.

Revealing a massive throbbing cock.

Hey. Oh, hey.

How you doing?

I'm good. I thought you'd be asleep.

No, I'm just working on something.

Cool.

I'll see you in the morning.

Yeah, I'll see you in the morning.

Night, Dad.

Good night, son.

His eyes widen and his heart pounds in his chest.

His whole body aching for what comes next.

I call up the moon for a little consultation.

Yes, you know that I'm a happy man, but something in me's burning. Gotta push

it, push it out, push it, push it out, push it out. So much frustration.

The moon called me. back and said i'll give you some advice you gotta live a

little lighter gotta breathe a little deeper gotta suck it suck it in suck it

suck it in suck it in there's your medication