Original subtitles

Good evening. Welcome to this live presentation of the Euro Quiz.

- who is working on her own little production.

Rinske, if you're watching: All the best!

I'm very excited about tonight. I hope you are too.

So let's bring out our first contestant.

Come closer, so we can take a good look at you.

I'm just as nervous as you are. Why don't you introduce yourself.

I was married and now I'm divorced.

- What do you do for a living? - At the moment I'm not working.

Yes, that was horrible because they wanted to blame me.

I couldn't see what was going on around me.

Eelco was sitting next to me.

He wanted to sit near his mother and in Holland you must fasten...

- The seat belt. - I forgot it. I should have done it.

I didn't drive so fast but there was something...

I had to get away from...

Little Eelco banged into the window and then he was dead immediately.

I was very unhappy about the pregnancy. I hated it.

- Do you have children? - No.

This was hell...

Giving birth was hell and my body became...

Like soldiers. Bang-bang. Like lraq.

A battlefield? Do you have any hobbies?

When I didn't drink, I also had accidents -

- but I didn't have a child yet.

Suddenly you have nothing. You have a child and a husband and then...

- You have been through a lot. - I have one question.

- Can I say hello to someone? - Okay, but make it quick.

What is the capital of Albania?

What is the capital of Albania?

The capital of Albania.

It was great having you. Thank you for being here.

- Will you come along? - Where to?

You know that. Don't you want to?

Please, do show them your passport and ask to see your own home.

We've been listening to that nonsense for years. I just want to see my home.

- If you go you are a traitor. - Traitor?

- Is that you, Koulis? -

- What are you doing? - Getting dressed.

- Are you going? - I don't know.

Stop it now... Come on, Jiorgos.

- Hello? -

It's the Church of the Arch Angel. It's a mosque now.

- Who is she? - A Turkish woman.

- -

I remembered it the way we left it. But now...

Look for yourself.

Maroula's christening... Kittens.

Jiorgo's home...

Hello. Here's my ticket. I'm flying to Brussels, the capital of the EU.

Congratulations. You've won a free flight to Paris.

What a surprise!

It's clear now. You need an application form from Mr. Rouge.

- At desk no.? - You have to fly to Strassbourg.

Hello. Nice to meet you. Please have a seat.

Thank you.

Actually there is a way.

You may claim scholarship from European Structure Fund.

This might get your preference in the queue.

That's great!

So the best thing is to fly to Rome. You can meet her there.

- Did you want a window seat? - Yes.

- Was that your left shoe, ma'm? - Yes.

- Did you resent anything as a child? - Boiled carrots.

- Chinese people are...? - And your underwear is...?

- Raise your hands, please. - You better co-operate.

Should we tick off lettuce green?

- Now you can't get a visa to the US. - I don't want to go to the US.

This affects your entry visa to other countries for 30 years.

- To where? - Anywhere.

I do not want a one-way ticket!

- -

- -

- -

Good morning.

- You went in the car of your brother? - Yes.

- My brother used to sell cars. - That's what you said.

No, that was before.

Then I took the buda-buda.

The buda-buda.

How many kilometres did you go?

Are you bored as well? :)

- My father was killed. -

- - Where did you live?

- I have a map of your town. -

- - Show me the market place.

- -

- Here. - No.

You are hopeless! Hopeless! You make me feel so embarrassed.

You always make me say ugly things.

You bitch! You'll send your father and myself to Hell!

Who am l? Where do I come from? With whom will I share my life?

- being in therapy and shopping. I love sex and quizzes. I love it!

More and more questions. More and more assignments.

I'm Patrick and I'm 28. My hobbies are love, love and love.

I like animals, depressive people -

How does a deer keep in shape?

A diet? Early to bed? Therapy in time?

One can save 20 years of studies by having a chip implanted.

Dance out of happiness and win a journey to the Aboriginals.

Compute the length of cycleways. Divide it by the number of cyclists -

Why isn't gold a skin colour? And where does it come from?

What is BSE in Arabic?

How do stupid racists forget their stupid thoughts in 90 minutes?

Get the lvory Coast national team to play in your town.

Distribute the many litres of tears from parents of murdered children -

My country is a junction visisted by painters and poets.

Why don't they get out? Mustn't they admire the scenery?

How can one set a new record for creating stress?

- without altering the GNP?

What does a job applicant look like? How European can one get?

Divide the width of the smile of the average asylum seeker -