Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:02:55,145 --> 00:02:56,976
My friend just bought
one of those.
2
00:02:57,047 --> 00:02:59,572
Let me drive it.
Fantastic car.
3
00:03:00,317 --> 00:03:01,716
It's a fantastic day.
4
00:03:06,856 --> 00:03:10,656
Okay, at 3:00 this morning,
you were singing campfire songs.
5
00:03:10,727 --> 00:03:13,662
And now look at you.
What is with you, Jeana?
6
00:03:14,597 --> 00:03:17,998
Tom. I think we're gonna get
to know each other better.
7
00:03:18,068 --> 00:03:20,730
You're gonna sleep
with Tom Lindeman?!
8
00:03:20,804 --> 00:03:22,635
Yes! Yes, okay?
9
00:03:22,706 --> 00:03:24,037
Why?
10
00:03:25,108 --> 00:03:26,234
I'm in love.
11
00:03:26,309 --> 00:03:28,277
Why?!
12
00:03:28,345 --> 00:03:33,373
I don't know, because he's smart
and handsome and wonderful...
13
00:03:33,450 --> 00:03:36,283
Ach! He's on television!
So what? Everybody is!
14
00:03:37,420 --> 00:03:42,483
In two weeks, I'm gonna be
on a cruise in South America.
15
00:03:43,827 --> 00:03:46,455
We're gonna make love,
and we're gonna watch sunsets.
16
00:03:46,529 --> 00:03:50,192
And it's gonna be like we're the
only two people in the world.
17
00:03:53,103 --> 00:03:57,164
You know, if he was the last
guy on Earth, maybe I could see it.
18
00:03:57,240 --> 00:03:59,003
No, wait, I can't.
19
00:03:59,075 --> 00:04:00,770
You used to like men.
20
00:04:00,844 --> 00:04:03,540
Yeah, I used to eat dirt when I
was a kid, too. I outgrew it.
21
00:04:03,613 --> 00:04:06,081
Okay. So you like
girls now. Great.
22
00:04:06,149 --> 00:04:10,051
But this is about me, Caroline
I started dating when I was 15 years old.
23
00:04:10,120 --> 00:04:12,418
That's zero
in ten years.
24
00:04:12,489 --> 00:04:16,721
Yeah, I've dated some losers, and I've
had my heart broken, but I still believe in love.
25
00:04:17,994 --> 00:04:20,121
And I found, I found Tom.
26
00:04:21,698 --> 00:04:23,222
Can't you just
be happy for me?
27
00:04:24,067 --> 00:04:25,557
Wait, let me think.
28
00:04:27,937 --> 00:04:29,302
Mmm, no.
29
00:04:39,482 --> 00:04:41,848
Tom Lindeman
tonight or any night.
30
00:04:41,918 --> 00:04:43,852
Exactly.
Thank you.
31
00:04:43,920 --> 00:04:46,286
Listen... I need a word.
32
00:04:46,356 --> 00:04:48,551
No, no, no,
no, no, no, no.
33
00:04:48,625 --> 00:04:50,616
It's varied? Diverse?
34
00:04:50,693 --> 00:04:51,682
How about "rich"?
35
00:04:53,029 --> 00:04:56,328
Rich, thank you!
You're worthless!
36
00:04:59,636 --> 00:05:01,570
"Rich" cultural background.
37
00:05:01,638 --> 00:05:03,606
See that? Savin' my ass
on the first day.
38
00:05:03,673 --> 00:05:05,072
We're gonna
get along real good.
39
00:05:08,912 --> 00:05:10,345
Susan wants you plugged in.
40
00:05:10,413 --> 00:05:12,210
Nah, she just wants me.
41
00:05:12,282 --> 00:05:15,251
Oops. Oops. Should I say that
on TV? Hi, Susan.
42
00:05:15,318 --> 00:05:18,515
You're shooting me from the waist up, right?
'Cause we don't wanna see the blue jeans.
43
00:05:18,588 --> 00:05:20,818
Tell Lindeman to stop
yakking and get ready.
44
00:05:20,890 --> 00:05:22,721
He's there. You're fine.
45
00:05:28,998 --> 00:05:32,593
'Cause anchormen
don't wear blue jeans.
46
00:05:33,403 --> 00:05:35,303
Looking good? Blue skies?
47
00:05:35,371 --> 00:05:36,929
Clear.
48
00:05:37,006 --> 00:05:39,736
Clear. Another clear,
cloudless day in Tom's nostrils.
49
00:05:39,809 --> 00:05:41,276
How much time you need?
50
00:05:41,344 --> 00:05:43,141
I need five seconds,
is all I need.
51
00:05:43,213 --> 00:05:46,148
Alright. Here we come.
Ready, remote...
52
00:05:46,216 --> 00:05:51,313
How's that chlamydia, Susan?
Joking. Joking. Oh! Oops.
53
00:05:51,387 --> 00:05:52,786
Three, two...
54
00:05:52,856 --> 00:05:57,725
And, and, and...
Take remote!
55
00:05:57,794 --> 00:06:00,456
Hi. This is
Tom Lindeman.
56
00:06:00,530 --> 00:06:03,966
If you can't get him to listen to me,
I'm just gonna take to him next time.
57
00:06:04,033 --> 00:06:07,298
And I don't care if he's pickin'
his nose and the whole world sees it.
58
00:06:07,370 --> 00:06:09,031
Ready VT-1.
59
00:06:14,878 --> 00:06:18,746
Boys. What's this golf game
doing on here again?
60
00:06:18,815 --> 00:06:20,180
Must be a virus.
61
00:06:20,250 --> 00:06:24,414
Yeah. This, uh, virus keeps getting in
there and setting up Championship Golf Challenge.
62
00:06:24,487 --> 00:06:27,012
Really? You boys
are the challenge.
63
00:06:27,090 --> 00:06:31,584
Hey! Hey! How many times do I have
to tell you this is not a cup holder?
64
00:06:31,661 --> 00:06:33,720
Ha ha ha!
Ow!
65
00:06:33,796 --> 00:06:35,024
- You... you...
- You...
66
00:06:35,732 --> 00:06:38,326
I'm gonna get that noon anchor
job. I can feel it.
67
00:06:38,401 --> 00:06:39,663
That's great!
68
00:06:40,870 --> 00:06:43,634
I can't believe
you bought a house!
69
00:06:43,706 --> 00:06:45,264
Yup!
70
00:06:45,341 --> 00:06:46,865
I feel old.
71
00:06:48,278 --> 00:06:51,338
- In you go.
- Thank you.
72
00:06:52,615 --> 00:06:54,048
You saw that?
73
00:06:54,117 --> 00:06:55,516
Yeah.
74
00:06:55,585 --> 00:06:57,314
I tape you every night.
75
00:06:58,454 --> 00:07:01,184
Mmm...
Well then, uh...
76
00:07:01,257 --> 00:07:06,194
From the future most recognizable
face in town to his most devoted fan.
77
00:07:14,103 --> 00:07:16,162
Opens my door
any time you want.
78
00:07:18,808 --> 00:07:20,708
It's beautiful.
79
00:07:41,965 --> 00:07:43,557
Uh... Tom?
80
00:07:43,633 --> 00:07:45,157
Yeah?
81
00:07:45,235 --> 00:07:47,294
I think I need
a little more time.
82
00:07:48,071 --> 00:07:50,505
Okay. Give me about ten
minutes to set up the bed.
83
00:07:52,475 --> 00:07:54,238
That's a joke.
A defense mechanism.
84
00:07:54,310 --> 00:07:56,141
Come from rejection.
85
00:07:57,513 --> 00:07:59,310
I'm not rejecting you.
86
00:08:02,652 --> 00:08:03,983
Good.
87
00:08:07,924 --> 00:08:10,256
What... Um...
Okay!
88
00:08:13,329 --> 00:08:15,661
Jeana?
Jeana, come on!
89
00:08:15,732 --> 00:08:17,029
I was joking.
90
00:08:17,100 --> 00:08:20,763
Half-joking!
I want it to be special.
91
00:08:20,837 --> 00:08:22,270
Not like this.
92
00:08:22,338 --> 00:08:23,771
Okay, okay.
93
00:08:23,840 --> 00:08:26,673
I know you're not comfortable
getting physical with me.
94
00:08:26,743 --> 00:08:30,201
Can you tell me why?
Is it me?
95
00:08:35,985 --> 00:08:39,045
I can't believe what she
said to me. I mean...
96
00:08:39,122 --> 00:08:40,714
it's unbelievable.
97
00:08:40,790 --> 00:08:45,557
I mean, I believe it because
now it all makes sense, but... wow!
98
00:08:45,628 --> 00:08:46,788
Blue skies?
99
00:08:49,866 --> 00:08:53,700
...proposal draws the ire
of animal-lovers all over.
100
00:08:53,770 --> 00:08:56,295
Good evening, everyone.
Thanks for being with us.
101
00:08:56,372 --> 00:08:59,500
And ready, remote,
ready or not.
102
00:08:59,575 --> 00:09:01,236
She's 25 years old, okay?
103
00:09:01,311 --> 00:09:03,438
Tom! Tom?
104
00:09:03,513 --> 00:09:05,481
She seems to know all the
moves. She's right there.
105
00:09:07,083 --> 00:09:10,018
But... Ha ha ha...
Yaahh!
106
00:09:10,086 --> 00:09:11,553
Tom?
107
00:09:11,621 --> 00:09:14,556
And now we go to Tom Lindeman,
standing by live. Tom?
108
00:09:14,624 --> 00:09:16,854
And, take remote.
109
00:09:16,926 --> 00:09:20,487
Get this:
My girlfriend... okay? Me!
110
00:09:20,563 --> 00:09:21,928
My girlfriend?
111
00:09:21,998 --> 00:09:23,465
Is a virgin.
112
00:09:25,034 --> 00:09:27,628
I'll be having sex
with a complete virgin.
113
00:09:32,175 --> 00:09:36,009
I love live TV!
Oh, yeah, baby!
114
00:09:37,380 --> 00:09:39,280
You're on! You're on!
115
00:09:39,349 --> 00:09:42,876
Hi, this is Tom Lindeman,
coming to you live from downtown.
116
00:09:44,020 --> 00:09:45,544
Hello?
117
00:09:45,621 --> 00:09:47,452
What?
118
00:09:47,523 --> 00:09:49,923
No, but
Station 50 called.
119
00:09:51,260 --> 00:09:53,592
They wouldn't tell me.
120
00:09:53,663 --> 00:09:55,426
What did he say?
121
00:09:55,498 --> 00:09:58,490
Tell me! Guys... !
122
00:10:04,607 --> 00:10:06,700
Oh, wait. I think
I hear her coming in.
123
00:10:06,776 --> 00:10:08,573
Did you see
the news?
124
00:10:08,644 --> 00:10:10,373
Oh, yeah. Um...
125
00:10:10,446 --> 00:10:12,607
Your granny's
on the phone.
126
00:10:12,682 --> 00:10:14,912
Hi, Grandma. What?
127
00:10:14,984 --> 00:10:17,885
I'm your favorite
granddaughter now?
128
00:10:17,954 --> 00:10:21,014
When'd this happen?Hey, Grandma,
can I call you back?
129
00:10:23,593 --> 00:10:27,324
Get this:
My girlfriend... okay? Me!
130
00:10:27,397 --> 00:10:30,093
My girlfriend is a virgin.
131
00:10:33,202 --> 00:10:35,727
Kill, Jeana. Kill!
132
00:10:45,882 --> 00:10:47,213
I guess you saw it, huh?
133
00:10:47,283 --> 00:10:49,274
Everybody saw it.
You told the whole city.
134
00:10:49,352 --> 00:10:51,286
Come on, I didn't
mention your name.
135
00:10:51,354 --> 00:10:54,187
You didn't have to. Everyone I know
has been calling me.
136
00:10:56,959 --> 00:10:58,688
Would you talk to me?!
137
00:11:03,766 --> 00:11:04,790
I made a mistake.
138
00:11:05,868 --> 00:11:09,702
And I feel horrible, I do.
But you said so yourself...
139
00:11:09,772 --> 00:11:11,569
your virginity's
not a major thing.
140
00:11:11,641 --> 00:11:13,871
It's not.
It's a minor thing.
141
00:11:13,943 --> 00:11:15,968
But it's
my minor thing.
142
00:11:16,045 --> 00:11:17,444
I was just tellin'
my camera guy.
143
00:11:17,513 --> 00:11:19,140
You gotta admit,
it's a little unusual.
144
00:11:19,215 --> 00:11:21,445
What? I just
never did it with anyone,
145
00:11:21,517 --> 00:11:23,007
It's not like I didn't try.
146
00:11:23,085 --> 00:11:27,454
So you're saying the effort was there,
you just lacked the aptitude?
147
00:11:29,325 --> 00:11:31,520
It just hasn't
worked out. Uh...
148
00:11:31,594 --> 00:11:37,328
I'd be with a guy and we'd be headed
that way, and... stuff would happen.
149
00:11:37,400 --> 00:11:38,526
"Stuff"?
150
00:11:38,601 --> 00:11:39,966
Stuff.
151
00:11:40,036 --> 00:11:42,596
Like his ex-girlfriend
would come back from China.
152
00:11:42,672 --> 00:11:45,334
Or he'd have a court date,
and I'd never see him again.
153
00:11:45,408 --> 00:11:47,603
Or... I'd get
the chicken pox.
154
00:11:47,677 --> 00:11:50,145
You're supposed to get chicken
pox when you're a kid,
155
00:11:50,213 --> 00:11:52,738
but I would get them when I
tried to sleep with someone.
156
00:11:56,919 --> 00:12:00,685
Anyway, I was just hoping you'd be
a little more careful with the information.
157
00:12:00,756 --> 00:12:02,883
I know, I know.
158
00:12:05,161 --> 00:12:07,629
What do you wanna do?
You wanna break up over this?
159
00:12:09,932 --> 00:12:11,559
No. Do you?
160
00:12:11,634 --> 00:12:12,931
No.
161
00:12:14,971 --> 00:12:18,805
So, come on, relax.
We'll order a pizza.
162
00:12:20,543 --> 00:12:21,703
I'm not hungry.
163
00:12:41,964 --> 00:12:43,659
What are you doing?
164
00:12:48,004 --> 00:12:50,734
I wanna make love with you.
What's wrong with that?
165
00:12:52,275 --> 00:12:53,799
Nothing.
166
00:12:53,876 --> 00:12:56,344
It can be the lead story
at 11:00
167
00:13:09,492 --> 00:13:11,687
How humiliating.
168
00:13:11,761 --> 00:13:14,059
It's okay.
I'm fine.
169
00:13:14,130 --> 00:13:15,893
You must wanna
kill yourself.
170
00:13:15,965 --> 00:13:18,229
Or someone else.
Seen this?
171
00:13:20,503 --> 00:13:24,132
"Our favorite reporter, Tom Lindeman,
told everyone... and I mean everyone...
172
00:13:24,206 --> 00:13:25,798
"that his girlfriend's a..."
173
00:13:25,875 --> 00:13:27,775
Oh, my God!
174
00:13:27,843 --> 00:13:30,573
"Whoever she is, let's hope
she doesn't hold a grudge."
175
00:13:30,646 --> 00:13:31,635
Hold one.
176
00:13:31,714 --> 00:13:32,703
You have to get even.
177
00:13:32,782 --> 00:13:34,306
For women
everywhere.
178
00:13:34,383 --> 00:13:38,843
You know what really gets me, is that
technically he never really apologized.
179
00:13:38,921 --> 00:13:40,388
You broke up
with him, right?
180
00:13:40,456 --> 00:13:43,391
Of course she broke up with
him. She's not stupid.
181
00:13:46,896 --> 00:13:48,363
Excuse me.
182
00:13:48,431 --> 00:13:50,797
Can you tell me where this
is at right here?
183
00:13:52,134 --> 00:13:54,102
You're lost.
You're not even close.
184
00:13:54,170 --> 00:13:56,263
Sweet.
185
00:13:56,339 --> 00:14:00,537
Well, since I'm here, can I get, uh, can
I get, uh, some French Sumatra please?
186
00:14:00,610 --> 00:14:01,736
Whole beans.
187
00:14:04,280 --> 00:14:05,372
Okay.
188
00:14:05,448 --> 00:14:08,042
You don't break up with someone
when you've been brought together
189
00:14:08,117 --> 00:14:10,642
by something as powerful
as the triple-sneeze incident.
190
00:14:10,720 --> 00:14:11,948
The what?
191
00:14:12,021 --> 00:14:13,750
The triple-sneeze.
How I met Tom.
192
00:14:13,823 --> 00:14:15,154
You crashed into his car.
193
00:14:15,224 --> 00:14:19,854
But it was a meaningful crash. I was
driving along, and I sneezed three times,
194
00:14:19,929 --> 00:14:21,089
and then I hit him.
195
00:14:21,163 --> 00:14:22,960
Yeah. You should hit him now.
196
00:14:23,032 --> 00:14:26,559
I've never sneezed three times before in
my life. I've never been in a car accident.
197
00:14:26,636 --> 00:14:30,663
And I didn't hit the fat weather guy
from Channel 10, I hit the dreamy reporter,
198
00:14:30,740 --> 00:14:33,038
the guy I was fantasizing
about all that time
199
00:14:33,109 --> 00:14:35,100
when I was trying
to get over Charlie.
200
00:14:35,177 --> 00:14:37,941
I mean, things like that
just aren't coincidence.
201
00:14:38,014 --> 00:14:41,472
You bump into a guy like that,
and it means something.
202
00:14:41,550 --> 00:14:43,609
- Oh, sorry!
- I'm so sorry!
203
00:14:43,686 --> 00:14:45,449
I'll get it.
She pushed me.
204
00:14:45,521 --> 00:14:46,715
It's okay, it's okay.
205
00:14:46,789 --> 00:14:49,053
I'm... I'm really
not that clumsy.
206
00:14:49,125 --> 00:14:50,922
Oh! Ooh!
207
00:14:50,993 --> 00:14:53,223
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
208
00:14:53,295 --> 00:14:55,957
Uh... French Sumatra?
209
00:14:56,032 --> 00:14:57,192
Yeah, it was.
210
00:14:57,266 --> 00:14:59,063
That's her favorite, too.
211
00:14:59,135 --> 00:15:01,626
He's not... uh, it's not.
212
00:15:03,673 --> 00:15:04,662
My favorite.
213
00:15:11,547 --> 00:15:12,673
Good morning!
214
00:15:18,320 --> 00:15:19,719
She seems so normal.
215
00:15:19,789 --> 00:15:21,484
I mean, you know her
better than I.
216
00:15:21,557 --> 00:15:23,923
How comes
you couldn't tell?
217
00:15:23,993 --> 00:15:27,656
Well, gee, I guess I missed the
big "V" stamped on her forehead.
218
00:15:28,698 --> 00:15:31,565
Whatever you're thinking,
don't say it.
219
00:15:33,636 --> 00:15:37,197
We'll take it nice and slow since you
haven't seen the software before.
220
00:15:37,273 --> 00:15:40,572
And you haven't seen
the hardware before.
221
00:15:47,183 --> 00:15:49,845
Yeah, Lawrence, that was
a real exciting newscast.
222
00:15:49,919 --> 00:15:54,322
Like watching your own autopsy.
Listen, can we just talk about work?
223
00:15:56,892 --> 00:15:58,621
Oh, forget it!
224
00:16:00,930 --> 00:16:02,397
Animals!
225
00:16:07,870 --> 00:16:10,498
Oh, my God! Six hundred
firefighters know my sex life!
226
00:16:10,573 --> 00:16:12,404
Technically,
it's an anti-sex life.
227
00:16:12,475 --> 00:16:14,272
I'm not going anywhere
with you.
228
00:16:14,343 --> 00:16:15,776
What?!
229
00:16:15,845 --> 00:16:17,312
You've made my life
a nightmare!
230
00:16:17,379 --> 00:16:18,937
You think mine's
been a joyride?
231
00:16:19,014 --> 00:16:21,847
I'm off the anchor list. I don't
even know why you're upset.
232
00:16:21,917 --> 00:16:23,441
Apparently virginity's "in."
233
00:16:23,519 --> 00:16:27,615
I don't care about what's in!
I care about my private life,
and the fact that you told
234
00:16:27,690 --> 00:16:29,783
a few hundred
thousand people!!
235
00:16:29,859 --> 00:16:31,292
- So you're not going?
- No!!
236
00:16:31,360 --> 00:16:32,486
Fine!
237
00:16:32,561 --> 00:16:33,459
Norma, I need...
238
00:16:34,697 --> 00:16:36,289
No, no.
Jeana.
239
00:16:36,365 --> 00:16:37,559
Those aren't
your tickets!
240
00:16:39,135 --> 00:16:40,625
Ha ha!
241
00:16:40,703 --> 00:16:42,295
Ha!
242
00:16:42,371 --> 00:16:44,134
I'm not going.
243
00:16:44,206 --> 00:16:46,470
Are you sure,
honey?
244
00:16:46,542 --> 00:16:48,601
Yes. When can I get
my money back?
245
00:16:48,677 --> 00:16:52,272
Uh, okay...
Uh, let's see.
246
00:16:52,882 --> 00:16:56,511
Oh, dear.
Oh, okay.
247
00:16:56,585 --> 00:16:58,780
The cruise departs
13 days from now.
248
00:16:58,854 --> 00:17:01,345
Deadline for refunds
was yesterday.
249
00:17:01,423 --> 00:17:04,551
I paid $6,000
for that ticket.
250
00:17:04,627 --> 00:17:08,324
Actually, it was 6,082.
251
00:17:08,397 --> 00:17:12,527
But you could've gotten it all back if
you would have had cancellation insurance.
252
00:17:12,601 --> 00:17:15,729
I did! We did. You got
the insurance, right?
253
00:17:15,805 --> 00:17:18,330
Well, actually,
it says here that he didn't.
254
00:17:18,407 --> 00:17:21,069
Yeah, I thought I'd save us
a few bucks. 'Cause...
255
00:17:21,143 --> 00:17:23,270
Gimme my ticket, you oaf!
256
00:17:23,345 --> 00:17:24,539
Oh, so now I'm an oaf?
257
00:17:24,613 --> 00:17:27,013
Give it! I'm the one who's
been saving for years!
258
00:17:27,082 --> 00:17:29,243
I had this all planned
before we met!
259
00:17:32,822 --> 00:17:38,852
I paid you $6,000 for
that ticket! My half! Uch!
260
00:17:40,329 --> 00:17:46,734
Actually, um,
it was $6,082.42.
261
00:17:48,671 --> 00:17:50,832
That you would have
been refunded.
262
00:17:52,141 --> 00:17:54,041
If you would have had
the insurance.
263
00:17:56,812 --> 00:17:58,712
If he wasn't an oaf.
264
00:18:01,417 --> 00:18:03,749
So you guys
broke up, then?
265
00:18:03,819 --> 00:18:05,252
No.
266
00:18:05,321 --> 00:18:06,788
Why does everyone assume that?
267
00:18:06,856 --> 00:18:08,187
It's just tradition.
268
00:18:08,257 --> 00:18:13,126
We'll work it out. We just need
to talk. Everything'll be fine.
269
00:18:13,195 --> 00:18:14,890
Good!
270
00:18:16,098 --> 00:18:18,999
Nick, look at this.
Can you believe this?
271
00:18:19,068 --> 00:18:21,696
They're calling me
"a local bright spot."
272
00:18:21,770 --> 00:18:23,169
That's great,
Zsa Zsa.
273
00:18:23,239 --> 00:18:24,729
"A personality
to watch."
274
00:18:27,142 --> 00:18:28,871
And you know
what else?
275
00:18:29,745 --> 00:18:31,474
Me and Tom
are back together.
276
00:18:33,515 --> 00:18:36,712
He's taking me on
a Brazilian cruise. It's...
277
00:18:36,785 --> 00:18:37,911
He's what?
278
00:18:37,987 --> 00:18:43,391
Oh, Jeana, hello. You did... you
didn't know? She didn't know.
279
00:18:43,459 --> 00:18:49,921
That is so like Tom. I can't believe
this. I mean... Isn't he funny?
280
00:19:09,852 --> 00:19:12,013
Oh, look. Tom's twin.
281
00:19:13,188 --> 00:19:15,315
The cruise tickets.
Let's find them.
282
00:19:15,391 --> 00:19:20,226
We should break something.
Come on, it'd be good therapy.
283
00:19:22,998 --> 00:19:24,260
No.
284
00:19:27,703 --> 00:19:29,170
Does daddy like mommy?
285
00:19:29,238 --> 00:19:30,796
I think daddy
likes mommy a lot.
286
00:19:30,873 --> 00:19:34,104
Where'd mommy go?
Where's mommy going? Yes!
287
00:19:34,176 --> 00:19:35,507
Daddy, don't spank me!
288
00:19:35,577 --> 00:19:37,238
Ay!
289
00:19:42,685 --> 00:19:44,380
Aah!
290
00:19:45,521 --> 00:19:48,581
Whoa. She's hot.
291
00:19:55,030 --> 00:19:56,725
Great stuff, huh?
292
00:19:56,799 --> 00:19:59,700
So I've been getting calls
all night about that thing on TV,
293
00:19:59,768 --> 00:20:02,965
Tom Lindeman telling the whole world
his girlfriend's never had sex.
294
00:20:03,038 --> 00:20:05,233
Turns out this buddy
of mine knows Lindeman,
295
00:20:05,307 --> 00:20:07,673
happens to know that
this girl's name is Jeana.
296
00:20:07,743 --> 00:20:10,075
Let's see what else
we can find out.
297
00:20:10,145 --> 00:20:11,544
Lindeman.
298
00:20:11,613 --> 00:20:13,945
My name's Tim.
I'm a friend of Jimmy Debbs.
299
00:20:14,016 --> 00:20:15,005
Ha ha, sure.
300
00:20:15,084 --> 00:20:18,713
I work in TV production and Jimmy said maybe
you could get me in the door at Channel 8.
301
00:20:18,787 --> 00:20:20,186
I can help you out
with that.
302
00:20:20,255 --> 00:20:21,984
Great, thanks.
Oh, before I forget,
303
00:20:22,057 --> 00:20:25,254
Jimmy said you're dating this girl
I went to college with, uh, Jeana...
304
00:20:25,327 --> 00:20:27,056
- Yeah, Jeana Summers.
- Ah, that's it.
305
00:20:27,129 --> 00:20:28,460
Drive off
a really high cliff.
306
00:20:28,530 --> 00:20:31,021
You went to college with her?
Have I got questions for you.
307
00:20:31,100 --> 00:20:32,089
Why would that be?
308
00:20:32,167 --> 00:20:35,159
Twenty-eight new messages.
309
00:20:35,237 --> 00:20:38,365
Hey, Jeana. We met three years
ago at the trade show. What's up?
310
00:20:39,508 --> 00:20:42,534
It's Domination Deluxe.
We provide a valuable service
311
00:20:42,611 --> 00:20:45,876
to men in Northern California,
and we're looking for a few good vir...
312
00:20:45,948 --> 00:20:49,315
Alison Farmer, host of Channel
Eight's public affairs talk show...
313
00:20:49,385 --> 00:20:51,148
...and I'm thinking,
314
00:20:51,220 --> 00:20:54,087
m... maybe you haven't met the
right girl yet. Come to mama.
315
00:20:56,725 --> 00:20:58,852
All my friends look up to you,
and we're all waiting, too,
316
00:20:58,927 --> 00:21:00,588
So you're our hero. I mean,
you should go on Oprah.
317
00:21:00,662 --> 00:21:04,063
And my mom says I should copy everything you
do..the way you eat and sleep and talk.
318
00:21:04,133 --> 00:21:05,122
So what are you gonna
do right now? I mean...
319
00:21:05,501 --> 00:21:07,332
Channel 8 News.
May I help you?
320
00:21:15,878 --> 00:21:17,937
He seems so nice
on television.
321
00:21:18,013 --> 00:21:19,810
It's special effects.
322
00:21:19,882 --> 00:21:23,511
Oh. I don't blame you
for not sleeping with him.
323
00:21:23,585 --> 00:21:25,576
Gee, thank you.
324
00:21:25,654 --> 00:21:27,781
Neither do the other
ladies in the office.
325
00:21:29,892 --> 00:21:32,986
Listen, this trip was supposed
to be the highlight of my life.
326
00:21:33,062 --> 00:21:36,498
It still could be, right? I mean,
I could meet a guy on the cruise.
327
00:21:37,699 --> 00:21:39,633
Can't we just switch
the reservation?
328
00:21:39,701 --> 00:21:42,397
Well, I'm sorry,
but the policy is strict
329
00:21:42,471 --> 00:21:46,532
because the cruise line can't resell
your ticket when you cancel this late.
330
00:21:46,608 --> 00:21:51,045
So basically I need a boyfriend
who'll betray me sooner.
331
00:21:51,113 --> 00:21:52,876
That would work.
332
00:21:52,948 --> 00:21:55,940
And this opportunistic person
can have my ticket?
333
00:21:56,018 --> 00:21:57,883
Yes, I'm afraid so.
334
00:21:57,953 --> 00:22:00,285
He wrote us a check
for the total amount.
335
00:22:00,355 --> 00:22:07,022
But I'd suggest legal action and
have the perfect lawyer for this.
336
00:22:07,096 --> 00:22:08,927
It's my cousin Maggie.
337
00:22:08,997 --> 00:22:11,227
She used to have a little
drug problem, you know,
338
00:22:11,300 --> 00:22:14,269
but she's, like, all clean and
sober now, she's, like, a lawyer,
339
00:22:14,336 --> 00:22:17,237
and she's doing great.
She's perfect.
340
00:22:17,306 --> 00:22:22,642
Look, you cheating S.O.B,
you talk to my client again,
341
00:22:22,711 --> 00:22:24,474
and I will rip your lungs out!
342
00:22:25,647 --> 00:22:28,980
Sorry. That one kind of
tries my patience.
343
00:22:29,051 --> 00:22:32,179
He's cheating on his wife. Kind
of like my husband cheats on me!
344
00:22:34,723 --> 00:22:36,657
You know what?
Maybe I should go.
345
00:22:36,725 --> 00:22:42,493
No, no. I'm sorry. Okay, let me get a
look at you. Hmm, you're pretty.
346
00:22:42,564 --> 00:22:44,225
You sure you're a virgin?
347
00:22:44,299 --> 00:22:48,099
Doesn't matter. Okay. I need you to
look hurt. I need you to look vulnerable.
348
00:22:48,170 --> 00:22:50,365
The jury will hate him.
349
00:22:50,439 --> 00:22:54,466
Eh, God, I was
a virgin once. Didn't take.
350
00:22:55,110 --> 00:22:57,738
You know, a lot of people
think lawyers don't have sex.
351
00:22:57,813 --> 00:23:01,180
But I went to this lawyer convention,
and let me tell you something:
352
00:23:01,250 --> 00:23:06,586
This lady here...several attorneys.
At least that's what they told me.
353
00:23:08,090 --> 00:23:11,321
Enough about me.
How can I help you?
354
00:23:12,528 --> 00:23:13,893
Oh, th... that's okay.
355
00:23:13,962 --> 00:23:16,897
No, no, no. Listen to me.
You deserve me.
356
00:23:16,965 --> 00:23:19,763
We are gonna burn this guy!
Okay, let's have a little fun.
357
00:23:19,835 --> 00:23:23,293
Let's put him on the bonfire, see how
high the flame gets. Who's with me?
358
00:23:24,940 --> 00:23:26,373
She sounds perfect.
359
00:23:26,441 --> 00:23:29,638
Yeah, but I can't sue until
he takes someone else,
360
00:23:29,711 --> 00:23:33,841
so I'm getting those tickets
back. How do I do it?
361
00:23:33,916 --> 00:23:35,941
Put out a contract on him?
362
00:23:36,018 --> 00:23:37,508
Hmm. Too expensive.
363
00:23:37,586 --> 00:23:38,883
I'll chip in.
364
00:23:38,954 --> 00:23:42,583
Ever notice how your advice about men
always includes death and destruction?
365
00:23:42,658 --> 00:23:45,218
Mmm. A girl can fantasize,
can't she?
366
00:23:46,929 --> 00:23:49,727
Oh, I know. Just fix it
so he doesn't wanna go.
367
00:23:56,972 --> 00:23:59,600
Hey! Wait up!
368
00:24:03,946 --> 00:24:06,346
He'd give up those tickets
for some big story!
369
00:24:06,415 --> 00:24:12,251
He needs to save his career. And so I've
devised the Phony Fire District Scandal.
370
00:24:13,088 --> 00:24:15,056
We make believe
we're doing inspections
371
00:24:15,123 --> 00:24:18,115
of the software companies so
that we can steal the software.
372
00:24:18,193 --> 00:24:20,661
You guys convince him the
evidence is on our computers.
373
00:24:20,729 --> 00:24:22,959
So that when he comes
to me for the access,
374
00:24:23,031 --> 00:24:27,798
I trade him the information he wants
for those tickets. Both of them.
375
00:24:56,064 --> 00:24:58,760
I've seen you
around the club.
376
00:24:58,834 --> 00:25:00,734
Great.
377
00:25:08,076 --> 00:25:09,270
You know, don't you?
378
00:25:09,344 --> 00:25:10,868
Word gets around.
379
00:25:10,946 --> 00:25:13,073
On what,
the Virgin Alert Network?
380
00:25:13,148 --> 00:25:15,480
How do you guys
find this stuff out?
381
00:25:15,550 --> 00:25:17,814
Hey!
That's personal, okay?
382
00:25:17,886 --> 00:25:20,116
Oh, personal?
383
00:25:37,939 --> 00:25:41,841
Well, Glen, for your company's
needs, I'd go with these guys.
384
00:25:45,514 --> 00:25:47,914
This is fascinating,
and I think we should, uh,
385
00:25:47,983 --> 00:25:52,215
discuss this in more
"depth" at my house.
386
00:25:53,322 --> 00:25:54,516
Excuse me?
387
00:25:54,589 --> 00:25:57,217
Let me explain
something to you, Jeana.
388
00:25:58,293 --> 00:26:02,525
You haven't slept with anyone yet
'cause you haven't met the right guy.
389
00:26:04,733 --> 00:26:06,701
I still haven't.
390
00:26:06,768 --> 00:26:09,430
You gonna stab me
with that fork?
391
00:26:09,504 --> 00:26:12,871
God, I'll bet you're a real tiger
when somebody turns you on.
392
00:26:21,083 --> 00:26:22,448
Check, please.
393
00:26:36,264 --> 00:26:38,255
No, bad girl! Come on!
394
00:26:40,902 --> 00:26:44,838
Hey! A little help,
please?
395
00:26:48,076 --> 00:26:50,044
I don't wanna
get hit by a train.
396
00:26:50,112 --> 00:26:52,637
Have a seat.
Grab the wheel.
397
00:26:59,454 --> 00:27:00,546
That's good.
398
00:27:00,622 --> 00:27:02,715
Just pull on that emergency
brake in the middle there.
399
00:27:02,791 --> 00:27:03,780
Got it!
400
00:27:03,859 --> 00:27:04,848
Thank you.
401
00:27:04,926 --> 00:27:06,120
So what's wrong with it?
402
00:27:06,194 --> 00:27:08,560
It's outta gas.
The gauge is busted.
403
00:27:08,630 --> 00:27:10,097
Why don't you
get it fixed?
404
00:27:10,165 --> 00:27:13,100
Well, 'cause I like her
the way she is.
405
00:27:15,337 --> 00:27:16,964
Well, I'll see ya.
406
00:27:17,038 --> 00:27:18,835
Well, hang on. Uh.
407
00:27:19,508 --> 00:27:22,204
The only way I know
how to thank you is...
408
00:27:22,277 --> 00:27:24,472
Know where I can get
a couple spoons?
409
00:27:29,084 --> 00:27:30,949
I gotta go.
410
00:27:31,019 --> 00:27:33,010
Can't let this melt.
411
00:27:34,923 --> 00:27:37,721
Look, no offense,
but you're a guy,
412
00:27:37,793 --> 00:27:40,227
and it starts with ice cream
and deep conversations
413
00:27:40,295 --> 00:27:43,731
and "Oooh, I'm so sensitive," but
eventually, the true male comes out,
414
00:27:43,799 --> 00:27:47,599
and you'll start taking money out of
my wallet and hitting on my best friend.
415
00:27:47,669 --> 00:27:51,298
Or it comes out right now, and I have
to punch him in the nose right here.
416
00:27:51,373 --> 00:27:55,036
Well, with an attitude large enough to
crush a small country having arrived,
417
00:27:55,110 --> 00:27:56,509
I think it's safe
to call it a day.
418
00:27:56,578 --> 00:27:59,274
Yeah, well, the gas station's
12 blocks that way.
419
00:27:59,347 --> 00:28:00,473
Perfect.
420
00:28:08,523 --> 00:28:13,859
"Professor Stewart Schell says
post-initial copulative regret syndrome...
421
00:28:14,396 --> 00:28:17,422
"or losing it and then wanting it
back...is becoming more common."
422
00:28:17,499 --> 00:28:21,026
Well, listen to this: "One result
of this week's public discussion
423
00:28:21,102 --> 00:28:25,505
"has been the formation of VAGUE,
or Virgins Against Guys Under-Evolved.
424
00:28:25,574 --> 00:28:28,771
"VAGUE was organized by local women
who discovered a common bond
425
00:28:28,844 --> 00:28:33,008
"in their anger over Lindeman's
blunder." You got company, girl.
426
00:28:43,792 --> 00:28:45,623
Hi. You don't know me,
427
00:28:45,694 --> 00:28:48,322
but, the thing is, I live upstairs
and can I borrow your window?
428
00:28:48,396 --> 00:28:49,886
Sure!
429
00:28:56,204 --> 00:28:57,694
Careful, darling.
430
00:28:59,274 --> 00:29:01,708
Next time,
I'll bake cookies.
431
00:29:01,776 --> 00:29:05,473
I joined that group...
Virgins Against Guys, whatever...
432
00:29:05,547 --> 00:29:06,536
What for?
433
00:29:06,615 --> 00:29:09,641
Not because I'm pure or anything.
I just wanted to support your cause.
434
00:29:09,718 --> 00:29:12,380
It's not a cause. I'm not making
a political statement.
435
00:29:12,454 --> 00:29:13,546
Boy, are you edgy.
436
00:29:13,622 --> 00:29:14,884
I... I just wanna find a guy
437
00:29:14,956 --> 00:29:17,891
who wants to wake up with me as
much as they wanna sleep with me.
438
00:29:17,959 --> 00:29:19,085
Yo might try Finland.
439
00:29:20,462 --> 00:29:21,486
Seriously.
440
00:29:24,666 --> 00:29:25,894
Improvements?
441
00:29:25,967 --> 00:29:27,525
You wanna
get this guy, right?
442
00:29:27,602 --> 00:29:29,729
No! I want those tickets,
and I want out of here.
443
00:29:29,804 --> 00:29:30,828
We're just goosing it up.
444
00:29:33,308 --> 00:29:36,937
Wait a minute. I'm the woman.
I'm the schemer.
445
00:29:37,012 --> 00:29:39,105
The thing is,
you're not that good at it.
446
00:29:39,180 --> 00:29:40,204
I'm not?
447
00:29:40,282 --> 00:29:42,978
It wasn't a bad first effort,
it's just that we have more experience
448
00:29:43,051 --> 00:29:44,484
with this sort of thing.
449
00:29:44,553 --> 00:29:45,884
So, just what
have you done?
450
00:29:45,954 --> 00:29:47,922
You're better off
just knowing the first level.
451
00:29:47,989 --> 00:29:49,718
Oh, there are levels now?
452
00:29:49,791 --> 00:29:51,691
Relax. It's under control.
453
00:29:52,561 --> 00:29:55,894
Don't forget the nude pictures
the guy from Utah sent you.
454
00:29:58,500 --> 00:30:00,968
Alison Farmer again,
Channel 8.
455
00:30:01,036 --> 00:30:04,062
You gotta come on my show and
tell everyone where to get off.
456
00:30:04,139 --> 00:30:07,597
Oh, My God. I am looking out the
window, and there's a tornado coming.
457
00:30:07,676 --> 00:30:09,268
And an earthquake.
Gotta go.
458
00:30:12,013 --> 00:30:13,002
Hello.
459
00:30:13,081 --> 00:30:14,548
Hi, it's Tom.
460
00:30:14,616 --> 00:30:17,380
How could you give that photo
to the newspaper?
461
00:30:17,452 --> 00:30:19,079
I didn't.
462
00:30:19,154 --> 00:30:21,349
It's the one
on your desk.
463
00:30:21,423 --> 00:30:24,551
Really?Huh, you're right,
it's gone.
464
00:30:24,626 --> 00:30:27,925
Thanks for noticing. By the way,
great performance on the radio.
465
00:30:27,996 --> 00:30:31,227
Okay. That was a trick,
and I'm gonna kill Jimmy Debbs.
466
00:30:31,299 --> 00:30:34,393
Oh. You wanna know what my
favorite part was?Really?
467
00:30:34,469 --> 00:30:37,370
It was Zsa Zsa telling me that
you guys were back together.
468
00:30:37,439 --> 00:30:42,172
How could you do that after all
we had? After the way we met?
469
00:30:42,243 --> 00:30:45,041
What are you talkin' about?
You crashed into my car.
470
00:30:46,247 --> 00:30:47,737
What do you want?
471
00:30:49,084 --> 00:30:51,075
I'm comin' over tonight
to get my stuff.
472
00:30:51,152 --> 00:30:53,245
Thanks for the warning.
473
00:31:06,401 --> 00:31:07,459
Lindeman.
474
00:31:07,535 --> 00:31:09,867
Give me my ticket back!
475
00:31:09,938 --> 00:31:11,462
You cancelled.
476
00:31:11,539 --> 00:31:13,734
And if "no refund" is good
enough for the cruise line, then...
477
00:31:13,808 --> 00:31:15,969
Twice she hangs up on me.
478
00:31:16,044 --> 00:31:18,638
You should give her
her money back, man.
479
00:31:18,713 --> 00:31:22,240
You're missing the clues. Clearly,
she still wants to go with me.
480
00:31:25,987 --> 00:31:27,579
I hate him.
481
00:31:34,229 --> 00:31:37,824
We don't want that shit no more!
One, two, three, four!
482
00:31:37,899 --> 00:31:41,665
We don't want that shit no more!
One, two, three, four!
483
00:31:41,736 --> 00:31:44,500
We don't want that shit no more!
One, two, three, four!
484
00:31:44,572 --> 00:31:46,631
Face it, man. You're just
another women's issue.
485
00:31:46,708 --> 00:31:49,006
Right up there with menopause
and maternity leave.
486
00:32:03,925 --> 00:32:05,290
How's this story
affected your life?
487
00:32:05,360 --> 00:32:07,123
What is your stance
on sex education?
488
00:32:07,195 --> 00:32:09,789
I am never
talking to you people!
489
00:32:18,640 --> 00:32:22,041
Hi, Jeana. Wendy Sagen,
President of VAGUE,
490
00:32:22,110 --> 00:32:25,238
Virgins Against Guys Under-Evolved.
Isn't it great?
491
00:32:25,313 --> 00:32:28,510
You on the cover,
our group picture inside.
492
00:32:28,583 --> 00:32:32,383
We have to work together to end
male domination of social and political...
493
00:32:32,454 --> 00:32:35,252
Listen, I've had a rough day.
494
00:32:35,323 --> 00:32:38,554
Jeana, let us hear your story. We
really need you to speak at our rally.
495
00:32:38,626 --> 00:32:41,959
You know what?
Wait here.
496
00:32:44,132 --> 00:32:45,724
They're all monsters,
you know!
497
00:32:45,800 --> 00:32:49,566
Most men are criminals!
I know! I have brothers!
498
00:32:53,308 --> 00:32:55,469
It's like I'm some kind
of freak or something.
499
00:32:55,543 --> 00:32:59,240
What's wrong with people?Don't
they get enough on Jerry Springer?
500
00:33:04,285 --> 00:33:06,150
Tom has made
his choice, hasn't he?
501
00:33:06,221 --> 00:33:10,123
So why don't we both
just be big people. Okay?
502
00:33:10,191 --> 00:33:13,820
Gee, thanks for the advice.
Now, if you'll excuse me.
503
00:33:15,363 --> 00:33:16,728
Bye, Nick.
504
00:33:18,900 --> 00:33:20,629
Bye, Jeana.
505
00:33:21,402 --> 00:33:23,996
Does this have dairy in it?
506
00:33:28,143 --> 00:33:31,169
It's okay. I'm with
the fire department.
507
00:33:35,116 --> 00:33:37,448
'Course she wants me back.
That's why we're here,
508
00:33:37,519 --> 00:33:40,010
so she can deny it to my face.
Women love these games.
509
00:33:40,088 --> 00:33:41,316
If you say so.
510
00:33:42,657 --> 00:33:45,023
"A map to your stuff."
What the hell is this?
511
00:33:45,093 --> 00:33:46,754
It's a map to your stuff,
man.
512
00:33:50,298 --> 00:33:51,788
Oh, come on!
513
00:33:51,866 --> 00:33:53,356
That was
my favorite racquet!
514
00:33:53,434 --> 00:33:54,901
She is playing hard-to-get.
515
00:33:54,969 --> 00:33:56,800
I bet I know where she is.
516
00:34:07,048 --> 00:34:09,414
Come on, Jeana.
Break those balls.
517
00:34:09,484 --> 00:34:12,476
This is great.
A little sanity.
518
00:34:12,554 --> 00:34:15,455
Fleeting, though,
it may be.
519
00:34:17,325 --> 00:34:18,952
Come on,
let's get outta here.
520
00:34:19,027 --> 00:34:20,153
Listen...
521
00:34:20,228 --> 00:34:22,287
- Watch it, Igor.
- Genghis.
522
00:34:22,363 --> 00:34:24,024
Nice bonfire.
I'd say we're even.
523
00:34:24,098 --> 00:34:25,998
Yeah? We say you
owe her a cruise ticket.
524
00:34:26,067 --> 00:34:27,500
Why don't you let these two
work it out?
525
00:34:27,569 --> 00:34:28,661
Who the hell are you?
526
00:34:28,736 --> 00:34:30,294
I'm friends with Tom.
And Jeana.
527
00:34:30,371 --> 00:34:33,169
Wrong. You can't be on both
sides. It's us or them
528
00:34:33,241 --> 00:34:34,572
And "us" is leaving.
529
00:34:34,642 --> 00:34:35,631
I just have
to talk to you...
530
00:34:35,710 --> 00:34:38,008
Let go of her, you animal!
Hey, everybody!
531
00:34:38,079 --> 00:34:43,176
Everybody, it's the reporter who violated
his girlfriend's privacy on television!
532
00:34:43,718 --> 00:34:45,652
Unbelievable!
I pity your girlfriend.
533
00:34:45,720 --> 00:34:48,746
Yeah. How could
you do that, huh?
534
00:34:48,823 --> 00:34:50,017
The guy made a mistake.
535
00:34:50,091 --> 00:34:52,821
You broads expect us to be perfect
all the time. I'm sick of it.
536
00:34:52,894 --> 00:34:55,385
"Broads"? You don't know
what we're talking about, mister!
537
00:34:55,463 --> 00:34:57,522
- Hey, don't point at me.
- Don't call me a broad.
538
00:34:57,599 --> 00:34:59,260
- Toots?
- Aargh!
539
00:35:15,416 --> 00:35:18,544
Will you unpack already!
My goodness.
540
00:35:20,722 --> 00:35:22,212
Well, hello.
541
00:35:24,192 --> 00:35:26,456
This is perfect.
542
00:35:26,527 --> 00:35:28,859
The cruise ship...
543
00:35:28,930 --> 00:35:30,864
the beaches...
544
00:35:30,932 --> 00:35:33,093
the sun...
545
00:35:33,167 --> 00:35:35,431
and me.
546
00:35:38,640 --> 00:35:42,406
A fight broke out today at a
public rally at the State Capitol.
547
00:35:42,477 --> 00:35:45,378
Members of a group supporting
women who are virgins
548
00:35:45,446 --> 00:35:49,849
clashed with a construction worker
who allegedly whistled at a woman.
549
00:35:49,918 --> 00:35:52,910
Tensions have been high between
local men and women since...
550
00:35:52,987 --> 00:35:54,614
Isn't that
your grandmother?
551
00:35:54,689 --> 00:35:57,920
It is. The whole city's
off its rocker.
552
00:35:57,992 --> 00:36:01,120
Wait. How can your grandmother
be a virgin?
553
00:36:01,195 --> 00:36:03,459
It goes beyond
the issue of sex
554
00:36:03,531 --> 00:36:05,123
and one woman's privacy
555
00:36:05,199 --> 00:36:08,930
We're sick of the construction
workers, the mechanics, the car salesmen,
556
00:36:09,003 --> 00:36:12,131
all the males that are insensitive
to half the population.
557
00:36:12,206 --> 00:36:16,472
The trouble with men in this country
is that they're in this country.
558
00:36:16,544 --> 00:36:18,876
Can't we ship them
all to France?
559
00:36:18,947 --> 00:36:21,279
It's not that complicated
at all, man.
560
00:36:21,349 --> 00:36:24,182
If a girl doesn't wanna
sleep with me, that's cool.
561
00:36:24,252 --> 00:36:27,449
A train runs through
this station every 45 minutes.
562
00:36:27,522 --> 00:36:29,319
And in other news,
563
00:36:29,390 --> 00:36:32,917
several nuclear warheads are missing
from a launching site near Moscow.
564
00:36:43,571 --> 00:36:45,095
Don't worry. I'm leavin'.
565
00:36:46,874 --> 00:36:48,808
You're a photographer?
566
00:36:48,876 --> 00:36:52,004
Yep. That way, when they arrest
me for stealing your purse,
567
00:36:52,080 --> 00:36:53,945
I can take my own
mug shots.
568
00:36:54,015 --> 00:36:55,744
Listen, I'm really so...
569
00:36:55,817 --> 00:36:58,479
Look, I got a gig out at,
um, El Dorado Hills.
570
00:36:58,553 --> 00:37:00,180
Wherever that's at.
So...
571
00:37:06,427 --> 00:37:08,418
- Hey!
- Hey!
572
00:37:08,496 --> 00:37:10,726
There were six reporters
here looking for you,
573
00:37:10,798 --> 00:37:12,527
so I just gave 'em
your home address.
574
00:37:12,600 --> 00:37:15,364
Just kidding. Actually,
I gave 'em a fake address.
575
00:37:15,436 --> 00:37:18,269
So they'll probably be back
any minute to kill me.
576
00:37:18,339 --> 00:37:20,239
Hmm. Coffee?
577
00:37:27,081 --> 00:37:29,777
Listen, I'm sorry about the
other day. That wasn't really me.
578
00:37:29,851 --> 00:37:31,011
Uh-huh.
579
00:37:31,085 --> 00:37:33,986
You're never clumsy and you're
always in a good mood, huh?
580
00:37:34,055 --> 00:37:35,522
It's a powerful drug,
denial.
581
00:37:35,590 --> 00:37:38,991
I am in a good mood. I've just had
a lot of creeps in my face lately.
582
00:37:39,060 --> 00:37:42,655
And so you assume that every guy is
one, huh?It's funny how women do that.
583
00:37:49,837 --> 00:37:52,203
It's because men
are such men.
584
00:37:52,273 --> 00:37:54,833
You know, they're at least 60%
of the relationship problems.
585
00:37:54,909 --> 00:37:57,810
Sixty percent, huh?
I didn't know that.
586
00:37:57,879 --> 00:37:59,676
Maybe 70.
587
00:37:59,747 --> 00:38:02,739
Think this thing'll
make it to El Dorado Hills?
588
00:38:02,817 --> 00:38:03,841
I don't know.
589
00:38:03,918 --> 00:38:06,512
I'm new here, and I don't even
know where El Dorado Hills is.
590
00:38:07,555 --> 00:38:08,852
Let's take my car.
591
00:38:16,397 --> 00:38:21,130
It's just that every guy that looks
at me lately wants... a date.
592
00:38:21,202 --> 00:38:23,170
I wasn't asking
for a date the other day.
593
00:38:23,237 --> 00:38:26,070
As a matter of fact, I haven't
been on a date in three years.
594
00:38:26,140 --> 00:38:27,129
You're kidding.
595
00:38:27,208 --> 00:38:28,835
Nope. It's not worth
the trouble.
596
00:38:28,910 --> 00:38:30,468
I always run
to the next guy.
597
00:38:30,545 --> 00:38:32,604
Yep. You end up
regretting it, too, huh?
598
00:38:32,680 --> 00:38:36,275
I can tell by the reaction from the innocent
little frozen dessert the other day
599
00:38:36,350 --> 00:38:39,183
that you've been through the ringer,
what... three times?
600
00:38:39,253 --> 00:38:40,515
Pretty close.
601
00:38:42,290 --> 00:38:44,019
Actually, you nailed it.
602
00:38:44,092 --> 00:38:46,856
I take it you've been
burned by a woman or two.
603
00:38:46,928 --> 00:38:49,658
Try six.
So don't put it all on men.
604
00:38:49,730 --> 00:38:52,665
Six? You're
a slow learner.
605
00:38:53,835 --> 00:38:58,431
Anyway she broke it off
four hours before the wedding.
606
00:38:58,506 --> 00:38:59,700
- No!
- Yeah.
607
00:38:59,774 --> 00:39:02,971
She always did like doing things at
the last minute, God bless her.
608
00:39:03,044 --> 00:39:04,841
Oh, my God.
So what'd you say to that?
609
00:39:04,912 --> 00:39:07,244
Well, I would call
the bakery where she worked,
610
00:39:07,315 --> 00:39:10,045
and I would disguise my voice,
and I would order pastries.
611
00:39:10,118 --> 00:39:12,780
"Can I get five pastries?
I need them now."
612
00:39:13,921 --> 00:39:17,015
She gained 12 pounds eatin' the leftovers
'fore she figured out it was me.
613
00:39:17,091 --> 00:39:20,288
Oh, no!
Oh, terrific!
614
00:39:21,562 --> 00:39:22,586
Hold it.
615
00:39:27,602 --> 00:39:29,126
Okay.
616
00:39:30,271 --> 00:39:32,262
Perfect. Perfect.
There you go.
617
00:39:32,340 --> 00:39:34,308
Beautiful.
618
00:39:48,356 --> 00:39:50,017
Okay.
619
00:40:08,276 --> 00:40:10,710
I never knew my feet
looked like this.
620
00:40:10,778 --> 00:40:14,305
Yeah, well, it's amazing what you
can see when you really look, huh?
621
00:40:15,550 --> 00:40:18,041
Yeah. It is.
622
00:40:19,287 --> 00:40:23,348
So, I saw you dancing with that
friend of the bride up there.
623
00:40:23,424 --> 00:40:25,289
Did you get
her number?
624
00:40:25,359 --> 00:40:27,259
Didn't get her name.
625
00:40:27,328 --> 00:40:28,317
She liked you.
626
00:40:28,396 --> 00:40:29,829
I know.
627
00:40:30,765 --> 00:40:32,198
Fascinating.
628
00:40:32,967 --> 00:40:35,128
You really gave up
on us, didn't you?
629
00:40:37,505 --> 00:40:39,200
That's right.
630
00:40:40,474 --> 00:40:42,533
This last guy,
we had these moments
631
00:40:42,610 --> 00:40:45,170
where it seemed like
everything was possible.
632
00:40:45,246 --> 00:40:48,943
It seems to me that men and
women only really get together
633
00:40:49,016 --> 00:40:51,382
by some great
cosmic accident.
634
00:40:51,452 --> 00:40:53,283
Yeah. A fluke, huh?
635
00:40:53,354 --> 00:40:57,188
My parents are divorced.
My roommate.
636
00:40:57,258 --> 00:41:00,887
I don't know anyone who has
what they want romance-wise.
637
00:41:02,563 --> 00:41:07,865
Well, this is great, huh?Sharing
each other's painful experiences?
638
00:41:07,935 --> 00:41:09,869
I'll tell you what. I'm having
a root canal next week.
639
00:41:09,937 --> 00:41:12,167
I'll give you a call
and tell you the details.
640
00:41:16,110 --> 00:41:17,407
Cheers.
641
00:41:19,213 --> 00:41:21,010
Animal crackers,
fireflies...
642
00:41:21,082 --> 00:41:22,071
Kick the can.
643
00:41:22,149 --> 00:41:24,049
Right! Right! Me, too!
644
00:41:24,118 --> 00:41:27,679
So, um, when do I get to
see my wedding photos?
645
00:41:27,755 --> 00:41:28,847
Your what?
646
00:41:28,923 --> 00:41:30,686
The photos I took.
647
00:41:30,758 --> 00:41:33,454
Oh! The photos you,
uh, yeah, yeah.
648
00:41:33,527 --> 00:41:38,658
I'll tell you what. Here is my
business card. You just call.
649
00:41:41,135 --> 00:41:42,932
May I?
650
00:41:43,004 --> 00:41:44,130
Yeah.
651
00:41:46,540 --> 00:41:48,474
Oh, wait.
652
00:41:48,542 --> 00:41:51,978
My roommate's been getting these
weird calls, so we changed our number.
653
00:42:05,126 --> 00:42:07,117
Uh, lemme...
654
00:42:07,194 --> 00:42:09,185
I'll get the door.
Sorry.
655
00:42:15,002 --> 00:42:19,769
Okay. Mary Beth. Great red hair.
Great smile.
656
00:42:19,840 --> 00:42:23,298
Broke your heart in so many pieces
you had to pick it up with a dustpan!
657
00:42:23,377 --> 00:42:24,401
Remember that?
658
00:42:24,478 --> 00:42:27,003
Why can't I remember that?
659
00:42:33,621 --> 00:42:37,352
So you bumped into him just as you were
saying how meaningful that could be.
660
00:42:37,425 --> 00:42:41,384
And he reads a lot,
and thinks, and smells good.
661
00:42:41,462 --> 00:42:46,126
And he's got a sexy voice.
So what? He's the enemy, right?
662
00:42:49,170 --> 00:42:52,037
Well, we've been
workin' together.
663
00:42:52,106 --> 00:42:56,338
We need to know each other.
So let's bond.
664
00:42:56,410 --> 00:42:57,775
Enjoy, fellas.
665
00:42:57,845 --> 00:42:59,335
- Thank you.
- Thanks a lot.
666
00:42:59,413 --> 00:43:01,745
Hi, guys. Welcome
to Firehouse.
667
00:43:01,816 --> 00:43:05,149
My name is Julie, and I'll be
your waitress. You're Tom Lindeman.
668
00:43:05,219 --> 00:43:06,584
Yes, I am.
669
00:43:06,654 --> 00:43:09,282
Don't talk to me. Your waiter
will be right with you.
670
00:43:11,225 --> 00:43:13,386
Did you see that?A week ago,
women loved me.
671
00:43:14,628 --> 00:43:16,994
Well, I guess people
can wise up in a week, huh?
672
00:43:23,938 --> 00:43:27,066
I don't think it's in me to be
this bitter, male-bashing person
673
00:43:27,141 --> 00:43:29,575
like that lawyer.
Or you.
674
00:43:29,643 --> 00:43:31,736
I like men.
Not the ones I've met.
675
00:43:32,646 --> 00:43:34,637
You'll be much happier
once you accept
676
00:43:34,715 --> 00:43:38,082
that all the romantic notions you've
had your entire life are crap.
677
00:43:38,152 --> 00:43:40,916
And the gender you were counting
on to create your bliss
678
00:43:40,988 --> 00:43:43,388
is really just hot to get
you in bed and move on.
679
00:43:43,457 --> 00:43:47,450
Your divorce is the most depressing
thing that's ever happened to me.
680
00:43:48,896 --> 00:43:52,730
At first, it was
like this... feud?
681
00:43:52,800 --> 00:43:55,360
Yeah, a feud,
'cause I had to win.
682
00:43:55,436 --> 00:43:59,304
I had to win. I had to get her to go
on the cruise with me to save face.
683
00:43:59,373 --> 00:44:03,241
But now, I don't know, I mean,
now it's just kinda like...
684
00:44:05,079 --> 00:44:06,512
You're in love with her.
685
00:44:06,580 --> 00:44:07,911
Love? You think?
686
00:44:07,982 --> 00:44:11,349
Yeah. I can hear, I can hear it in
your voice, the way you talk about her.
687
00:44:12,286 --> 00:44:13,844
You're right.
688
00:44:13,921 --> 00:44:16,321
I'm in love with her.
689
00:44:16,390 --> 00:44:18,790
'Cause she fries my stuff,
and I should be angry,
690
00:44:18,859 --> 00:44:21,259
but I get, I don't know,
excited and everything,
691
00:44:21,328 --> 00:44:23,091
and I guess I'm thinking
about her.
692
00:44:23,164 --> 00:44:25,598
You gotta tell her. Hm?
693
00:44:26,267 --> 00:44:30,294
Maybe after she cools off.
I'll give her, say, ten years.
694
00:44:30,371 --> 00:44:33,465
Then there was Kathy,
right? Oh, my...
695
00:44:33,541 --> 00:44:35,702
See, this is what
I'm talking about, right?
696
00:44:35,776 --> 00:44:39,678
This woman comes into my life, and I've
forgotten what all the other ones did to me.
697
00:44:39,747 --> 00:44:41,681
So this girl you met,
she a babe or what?
698
00:44:41,749 --> 00:44:46,083
You don't divide 'em into
babes a... a... and non-babes.
699
00:44:46,153 --> 00:44:47,848
Yeah? What, then?
700
00:44:47,922 --> 00:44:52,291
I don't know. I mean... There's "her",
and then there's everybody else.
701
00:44:52,359 --> 00:44:53,986
"Her"?
702
00:44:55,162 --> 00:44:56,527
Yeah...
703
00:44:56,597 --> 00:45:00,533
Yeah, but she said she's done with men.
I think that she's hung up on this guy.
704
00:45:00,601 --> 00:45:03,035
Well, take your shot.
He's probably some loser.
705
00:45:05,573 --> 00:45:07,063
Why the long face?
706
00:45:11,645 --> 00:45:15,843
Hey there. It's, uh, Paul,
and, uh, this is my voice.
707
00:45:15,916 --> 00:45:19,545
Listen, this gallery in,
in Midtown is showing my photos,
708
00:45:19,620 --> 00:45:24,080
and the opening's Friday night,
and maybe if you're not doing anything,
709
00:45:24,158 --> 00:45:27,457
you know, or, or, you know, maybe
if you wanna bring your roommate,
710
00:45:27,528 --> 00:45:29,928
and I swear,
I'm not hittin' on her...
711
00:45:29,997 --> 00:45:33,592
It's just, just that I don't know
anyone here and it'd be, uh, it'd be nice
712
00:45:33,667 --> 00:45:35,362
to have some
people come, so...
713
00:45:35,436 --> 00:45:39,497
Now, let me stress, this is a, uh,
this is a non-date type of activity.
714
00:45:39,573 --> 00:45:43,065
No dates for anyone.
715
00:45:43,143 --> 00:45:46,044
Farnham Gallery at, uh,
8:00 P. M. , so there you go.
716
00:45:46,113 --> 00:45:50,140
Um, talk to you later,
if you want. Bye.
717
00:45:54,855 --> 00:45:56,117
What am I doing?
718
00:46:00,861 --> 00:46:03,955
Well, it would be wrong
not to support the arts.
719
00:46:10,304 --> 00:46:12,499
The woman is diabolical.
720
00:46:17,077 --> 00:46:19,773
This is why you don't trust
women, 'cause they're crazy.
721
00:46:19,847 --> 00:46:21,712
'Cause they hide things
and they're secret.
722
00:46:21,782 --> 00:46:22,976
What?
723
00:46:23,050 --> 00:46:24,347
Nothing.
724
00:46:24,418 --> 00:46:26,818
Don't worry. Those tickets
are in a very safe place.
725
00:46:26,887 --> 00:46:28,616
I don't know what
you're talking about.
726
00:46:28,689 --> 00:46:29,883
I got a tip on this story.
727
00:46:29,957 --> 00:46:33,324
Firefighter says there's something
fishy going on in the Fire District.
728
00:46:33,394 --> 00:46:35,191
Gonna ride along
with them later today.
729
00:46:35,262 --> 00:46:37,059
That's very interesting.
Let's go.
730
00:46:37,131 --> 00:46:38,462
Okay.
731
00:46:40,734 --> 00:46:43,897
My boss won't talk to me.
Women despise me.
732
00:46:43,971 --> 00:46:45,836
I don't know
what's going on any more.
733
00:46:45,906 --> 00:46:47,840
I need this story.
I need my pride back.
734
00:46:47,908 --> 00:46:51,503
This'll do it. Our guys do an
inspection of the software company.
735
00:46:51,579 --> 00:46:55,037
They're in the computer room, they
get the building manager flustered,
736
00:46:55,115 --> 00:46:57,982
he doesn't realize four guys
go in and only three come out.
737
00:46:58,052 --> 00:47:01,146
So one guy stays back
and then what?
738
00:47:01,221 --> 00:47:03,280
He dials out on the modem.
It's so simple.
739
00:47:03,357 --> 00:47:06,622
These places have all the security
to keep people from getting in,
740
00:47:06,694 --> 00:47:09,458
but there's nothing to prevent
someone from getting out.
741
00:47:09,530 --> 00:47:10,861
So he dials out to... ?
742
00:47:10,931 --> 00:47:13,331
The mastermind.
743
00:47:13,400 --> 00:47:16,927
No one sees this guy. He just
pays our guys to do the job.
744
00:47:17,004 --> 00:47:20,201
Once the connection's made,
he dials out on the modem,
745
00:47:20,274 --> 00:47:22,401
hacking into
the computer system.
746
00:47:22,476 --> 00:47:24,341
Okay.
I gotta see this.
747
00:47:24,411 --> 00:47:27,175
No. They see you,
I'm... I'm dead.
748
00:47:27,247 --> 00:47:28,839
They won't.
749
00:47:51,839 --> 00:47:55,002
And three come out.
Very smooth.
750
00:47:59,947 --> 00:48:01,175
Whoa!
751
00:48:06,186 --> 00:48:08,154
Jeana, look at this.
752
00:48:09,590 --> 00:48:12,081
I just had sex
on my lunch hour.
753
00:48:12,159 --> 00:48:14,753
This waiter at Dominick's,
out by the dumpster.
754
00:48:14,828 --> 00:48:16,523
It was so hot.
755
00:48:16,597 --> 00:48:21,034
So I'm not one of you guys any
more. I'm outta the club, okay?
756
00:48:21,869 --> 00:48:25,737
Yeah. Funny you should say that.
Check out the celebrities page.
757
00:48:27,241 --> 00:48:30,768
"Yeah, I had sex with Jeana Summers.
We were both pretty wasted"?!
758
00:48:30,844 --> 00:48:32,175
Who the hell's this?
759
00:48:32,246 --> 00:48:35,215
The drummer from Deadly Barter. Jeana,
this doesn't look good for us.
760
00:48:37,151 --> 00:48:39,881
Get me Alison Farmer.
I'll do her show.
761
00:48:40,621 --> 00:48:42,885
So, basically
you're a romantic?
762
00:48:42,956 --> 00:48:46,289
Was. Now, I'm in recovery.
763
00:48:46,360 --> 00:48:48,294
Hm! But you're not
mad at men?
764
00:48:48,362 --> 00:48:52,799
No. I'm mad at God for making
me attracted to men.
765
00:48:53,967 --> 00:48:57,767
It's just that everyone looks at you
differently when they discover you're a virgin.
766
00:48:57,838 --> 00:49:00,773
And they have all these weird
opinions about what that means.
767
00:49:00,841 --> 00:49:03,537
When I was in high school,
my virginity was admirable.
768
00:49:03,610 --> 00:49:05,407
When I was in college,
it was "cute".
769
00:49:05,479 --> 00:49:08,243
Now that I'm older, people just
find it incredibly strange.
770
00:49:08,315 --> 00:49:10,840
That's her? That's
your virgin girlfriend?
771
00:49:10,918 --> 00:49:11,942
Shhh! Be quiet!
772
00:49:12,019 --> 00:49:13,008
What do you want?
773
00:49:13,087 --> 00:49:14,076
I'm just surprised.
774
00:49:14,154 --> 00:49:15,143
At what?
775
00:49:15,222 --> 00:49:17,452
You made her out
to be this, like, this, this...
776
00:49:17,524 --> 00:49:20,652
...instead it's this big fight
between men and women.
777
00:49:20,728 --> 00:49:23,595
You don't, you don't think
her ears are a little big?
778
00:49:23,664 --> 00:49:27,930
Are you kidding? She's fantastic.
You can't even see her ears.
779
00:49:28,769 --> 00:49:31,499
I'm just sick
of the whole virgin-fest.
780
00:49:31,572 --> 00:49:32,869
That's not the real issue.
781
00:49:32,940 --> 00:49:34,805
- What is?
- Love.
782
00:49:34,875 --> 00:49:36,775
Respect. Caring.
783
00:49:36,844 --> 00:49:40,712
And these are words that nobody's
mentioned since this whole thing started.
784
00:49:40,781 --> 00:49:43,773
All my friends say
their first time was awful.
785
00:49:43,851 --> 00:49:48,618
It shouldn't be awful. It... it should
be astonishing or superlative.
786
00:49:48,689 --> 00:49:51,157
It should be something
that's worth waiting for.
787
00:49:51,225 --> 00:49:55,423
It's hard enough being
single and scared and alone.
788
00:49:55,496 --> 00:49:57,964
And then you have people smacking
you in the face every day
789
00:49:58,031 --> 00:49:59,999
with what a fool you are
for believing in love.
790
00:50:00,067 --> 00:50:04,595
Maybe if you wait a little
longer, take a little more time...
791
00:50:04,671 --> 00:50:07,799
She is so wise,
so together.
792
00:50:07,875 --> 00:50:08,864
Mm-hmm.
793
00:50:08,942 --> 00:50:13,140
..the right person comes into your
life, and it's a whole new thing.
794
00:50:13,213 --> 00:50:16,478
It's too bad you just don't
know who that person's gonna be.
795
00:50:17,718 --> 00:50:18,707
Me.
796
00:50:18,786 --> 00:50:22,347
Your boyfriend revealed
your biggest secret on TV.
797
00:50:22,422 --> 00:50:25,619
Now here you are.
798
00:50:25,692 --> 00:50:27,353
Come on.
799
00:50:27,427 --> 00:50:29,292
Tell us a secret
of Tom's.
800
00:50:31,632 --> 00:50:33,031
I don't think he has any.
801
00:50:34,234 --> 00:50:36,168
There's not much
going on inside there.
802
00:50:37,171 --> 00:50:40,299
What?! There's a lot
going on inside here.
803
00:50:40,374 --> 00:50:43,502
"So wise, so together"...
804
00:50:43,577 --> 00:50:46,307
Okay, she doesn't know
how I feel. I gotta talk to her.
805
00:50:46,380 --> 00:50:48,871
No, no, no, no, no.
You don't wanna
go in there now.
806
00:50:48,949 --> 00:50:51,713
Look at her...she's all worked up,
and she's emotional.
807
00:50:51,785 --> 00:50:53,980
Just, uh,
let her cool down.
808
00:50:54,054 --> 00:50:56,818
Okay. You're right.
You're always right.
809
00:50:56,890 --> 00:51:00,951
She's gonna be at the health club
'till 7: 00, so I'll talk to her after.
810
00:51:04,731 --> 00:51:08,360
She is photogenic,
though. Wow!
811
00:51:08,836 --> 00:51:10,827
She'll be at the health club
until 7:00. I have to tell her.
812
00:51:11,471 --> 00:51:14,440
"I know you're Lindeman's girlfriend."
She'll hate that!
813
00:51:15,776 --> 00:51:17,767
Hi. I'm Carl.
Welcome to the club.
814
00:51:17,845 --> 00:51:20,245
Hi, how are you?I'm just
here to talk to someone.
815
00:51:20,314 --> 00:51:23,841
Well, you can talk to me. Uh, tell
me, what exactly are your fitness goals?
816
00:51:23,917 --> 00:51:25,077
I'm just looking for...
817
00:51:25,152 --> 00:51:28,178
We've got a Premium Membership
you might want to take a look at.
818
00:51:28,255 --> 00:51:29,244
Can I just...
819
00:51:29,323 --> 00:51:32,053
No, no, no. We don't let non-members
wander around the club.
820
00:51:32,125 --> 00:51:34,320
She's probably just
right around the corner.
821
00:51:34,394 --> 00:51:36,885
Ah, that's great. You know,
we got full cardio...
822
00:51:36,964 --> 00:51:38,659
Free weights.
Pool, aerobics...
823
00:51:38,732 --> 00:51:41,064
Uh-huh, right.
What's it gonna take?
824
00:51:41,134 --> 00:51:43,534
Hah!
I'm glad you asked.
825
00:51:50,143 --> 00:51:52,270
This is the cardio area.
826
00:51:52,346 --> 00:51:54,177
Hey!
827
00:51:54,248 --> 00:51:56,011
I know you.
828
00:51:56,083 --> 00:51:58,415
Well, what...
I didn't know you...
829
00:51:58,485 --> 00:52:00,009
Paul here
just joined the club.
830
00:52:00,087 --> 00:52:02,055
Thank you, Carl. Can you
give us a minute?
831
00:52:02,122 --> 00:52:04,283
You know, I haven't
finished my tour yet.
832
00:52:06,126 --> 00:52:08,788
Okay. Hey! You know what?
You're gonna love this.
833
00:52:08,862 --> 00:52:13,595
It's so far out there.
I, um... I know...
834
00:52:18,005 --> 00:52:19,165
I know...
835
00:52:35,255 --> 00:52:38,281
I know, uh, I was
pretending to be cool,
836
00:52:38,358 --> 00:52:40,792
but I would love it
if you'd come to my opening.
837
00:52:40,861 --> 00:52:42,419
- I'm coming.
- You are?
838
00:52:42,496 --> 00:52:44,225
Yeah. It's, uh,
this Friday, right?
839
00:52:44,298 --> 00:52:46,926
Yeah. Terrific, great.
Alright, it's a date.
840
00:52:47,000 --> 00:52:48,865
Excuse me?
841
00:52:50,137 --> 00:52:53,971
Oh, no. No, no, not "It's a date",
like it's a figure of speech.
842
00:52:54,041 --> 00:52:56,373
Not like, not like
what you thought.
843
00:52:56,443 --> 00:52:58,240
Not like a date.
844
00:53:01,548 --> 00:53:03,311
Why don't we?
845
00:53:03,383 --> 00:53:05,078
I think we should.
846
00:53:07,187 --> 00:53:09,417
You know, you
shouldn't stop like that.
847
00:53:09,489 --> 00:53:11,013
You need to warm down
before you...
848
00:53:11,091 --> 00:53:13,252
You don't date.
849
00:53:13,327 --> 00:53:15,192
It's against
your religion.
850
00:53:15,262 --> 00:53:18,254
Our whole friendship is based
on the fact that you don't date
851
00:53:18,332 --> 00:53:21,631
and I won't. You said yourself
it's a mistake to run to the next guy.
852
00:53:21,702 --> 00:53:24,262
Okay. But not if it's me.
853
00:53:33,447 --> 00:53:34,937
Um...
854
00:53:35,015 --> 00:53:37,381
I'm... I'm not coming.
855
00:53:37,451 --> 00:53:40,511
Wha... wha... whoa.
Why not?
856
00:53:40,587 --> 00:53:43,283
I think I should be
by myself. Really.
857
00:53:43,357 --> 00:53:44,824
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
858
00:53:47,861 --> 00:53:49,726
Is that all it is?
859
00:53:51,031 --> 00:53:52,020
What else?
860
00:53:52,099 --> 00:53:56,195
I don't know. Something like you still have
feelings for that guy you were seeing.
861
00:53:56,269 --> 00:53:58,203
Get serious.
862
00:54:00,474 --> 00:54:02,408
What if he called you
tonight?
863
00:54:02,476 --> 00:54:04,467
I wouldn't care.
864
00:54:06,246 --> 00:54:07,907
That's not
what your face says.
865
00:54:13,687 --> 00:54:15,211
Can I...
Jeana...
866
00:54:15,288 --> 00:54:16,846
Hey! I haven't finished
the tour yet.
867
00:54:16,923 --> 00:54:19,653
Carl, will you shut up!
Jeana, please?
868
00:54:21,995 --> 00:54:26,193
If you've gotten him out of your
system, then why this big feud?
869
00:54:27,467 --> 00:54:29,526
Who called it a feud?
870
00:54:29,603 --> 00:54:33,471
Well, n... no
specific person.
871
00:54:35,409 --> 00:54:36,899
Come here.
872
00:54:40,480 --> 00:54:41,742
Listen to me.
873
00:54:41,815 --> 00:54:46,081
My life has been
a catastrophe lately.
874
00:54:46,153 --> 00:54:49,350
I don't want to get into details,
and you don't want to know.
875
00:54:49,423 --> 00:54:53,587
Believe me. The truth is,
I am thrilled you don't know.
876
00:54:55,729 --> 00:54:57,560
You are?
877
00:54:57,631 --> 00:55:01,192
This friendship is the only thing
in my life that's working.
878
00:55:01,268 --> 00:55:03,862
Can't we just leave it be?
879
00:55:03,937 --> 00:55:07,839
Yeah. Yeah, sure.
880
00:55:09,042 --> 00:55:12,341
Thanks.
881
00:55:12,412 --> 00:55:15,711
So... maybe
I'll show up on Friday,
882
00:55:15,782 --> 00:55:23,018
but that's the best
I can do.
883
00:55:23,090 --> 00:55:27,186
She said "friendship",
man. You're history.
884
00:55:27,260 --> 00:55:29,251
Now, how 'bout
those abs?
885
00:55:32,332 --> 00:55:35,995
We should be the town of the toast,
and you're busy thinking or something.
886
00:55:36,069 --> 00:55:37,536
I got a lot on
my mind, Zsa, Zsa.
887
00:55:37,604 --> 00:55:38,764
Like what?
888
00:55:38,839 --> 00:55:43,333
A certain computer geek?
I don't need this.
889
00:55:43,410 --> 00:55:46,846
You know, I have a shoot
with Fabio in the morning.
890
00:55:48,748 --> 00:55:49,737
Lindeman.
891
00:55:49,816 --> 00:55:51,875
Hey, it's Randy
at the Fire District.
892
00:55:51,952 --> 00:55:55,217
You saw how the scam works. Now you need
the list of companies they're hitting.
893
00:55:55,288 --> 00:55:56,277
Who has the list?
894
00:55:56,356 --> 00:55:59,018
It's in the inspection files
in the computer system.
895
00:55:59,092 --> 00:56:02,425
But only the computer people
have access to all the files.
896
00:56:02,496 --> 00:56:06,296
Really?
Very interesting.
897
00:56:06,366 --> 00:56:08,197
Alright.
898
00:56:09,069 --> 00:56:13,005
This is the most sexual-looking
food I've ever seen.
899
00:56:13,073 --> 00:56:15,064
I wish you'd come with me.
900
00:56:17,544 --> 00:56:18,977
Wow!
901
00:56:19,045 --> 00:56:22,276
It's an opening.
People dress up.
902
00:56:24,217 --> 00:56:26,378
[Laughs]
903
00:56:26,453 --> 00:56:28,978
I would kill myself
for you.
904
00:56:30,490 --> 00:56:33,755
I would kill mys...
I would kill myself for you.
905
00:56:39,599 --> 00:56:40,896
I can't.
906
00:56:53,747 --> 00:56:56,079
- Hi.
- Hello, love. Come on in.
907
00:56:59,252 --> 00:57:01,117
Have a nice time.
908
00:57:08,929 --> 00:57:10,897
Wow!
You look terrific.
909
00:57:10,964 --> 00:57:12,556
Really.
910
00:57:12,632 --> 00:57:14,497
I'm running late.
911
00:57:14,568 --> 00:57:15,933
For what?
912
00:57:16,002 --> 00:57:17,731
It's private.
Not for broadcast.
913
00:57:17,804 --> 00:57:21,001
I'm working on a story about
bogus fire department inspections
914
00:57:21,074 --> 00:57:24,305
and, uh... I really
need some information.
915
00:57:24,377 --> 00:57:26,345
Me, help you?
916
00:57:27,814 --> 00:57:30,146
You have every right
to hate me.
917
00:57:33,920 --> 00:57:35,478
What are we
doing here?
918
00:57:35,555 --> 00:57:36,852
You love this place.
919
00:57:36,923 --> 00:57:39,050
That's what I mean.
920
00:58:02,549 --> 00:58:03,982
Whoo!
921
00:58:06,086 --> 00:58:07,610
I'm not having fun.
922
00:58:08,555 --> 00:58:10,921
Then you're crazy.
Look at this, it's perfect.
923
00:58:14,261 --> 00:58:16,422
Okay.
924
00:58:16,496 --> 00:58:20,398
It is dirty pool bringing you
here. We had great times here.
925
00:58:20,467 --> 00:58:23,300
But where can we go?We had great
times all over this city.
926
00:58:23,370 --> 00:58:25,304
I thought we were gonna
talk about business.
927
00:58:25,372 --> 00:58:29,001
Jeana, I've broken up
with plenty of women
928
00:58:29,075 --> 00:58:31,635
and this is the first time
I've ever done it
929
00:58:31,711 --> 00:58:33,804
and thought about
that woman constantly.
930
00:58:35,548 --> 00:58:37,743
Okay. You know
how you divide things up?
931
00:58:37,817 --> 00:58:41,480
There's "her", and then
there's everything else.
932
00:58:41,554 --> 00:58:43,181
"Her"?
933
00:58:43,256 --> 00:58:44,814
You.
934
00:58:44,891 --> 00:58:47,121
Ugh. I screwed that up.
935
00:58:47,193 --> 00:58:50,651
You know, I wrote some things
down here, some notes,
and, uh...
936
00:58:54,701 --> 00:58:56,328
Okay. Okay.
937
00:58:59,506 --> 00:59:00,666
I don't know.
938
00:59:02,075 --> 00:59:05,772
I'm not very good without
a script, but I... I wanna be.
939
00:59:05,845 --> 00:59:07,710
Good.
940
00:59:07,781 --> 00:59:09,510
For you.
941
00:59:11,451 --> 00:59:12,941
I'm supposed
to be someplace.
942
00:59:13,019 --> 00:59:14,281
Let me explain.
943
00:59:14,354 --> 00:59:16,584
Listen, we discuss
the district or I'm leaving.
944
00:59:16,656 --> 00:59:18,715
Okay. Alright. You win.
945
00:59:20,994 --> 00:59:22,723
I need those
inspection files.
946
00:59:23,596 --> 00:59:27,225
Well, then,
what's in it for me?
947
00:59:32,639 --> 00:59:34,436
Wait a minute.
Both tickets?
948
00:59:34,507 --> 00:59:37,908
One of them belongs to me, and I'll
trade you the files for the other one.
949
00:59:37,977 --> 00:59:39,410
That hardly seems fair.
950
00:59:39,479 --> 00:59:43,279
Huh. "Fair"?
When'd you learn that word?
951
00:59:44,818 --> 00:59:47,218
Okay. Alright. I know
we're having this fight,
952
00:59:47,287 --> 00:59:49,687
but if we could just step
around it for a moment...
953
00:59:49,756 --> 00:59:54,386
Oh! You can't step around it!It's the same
thing! You want something for nothing!
954
00:59:54,461 --> 00:59:57,157
You're the reason why
relationships don't work!
955
00:59:57,230 --> 01:00:00,722
Okay. Blame me for the world's
problems. Are you giving me the files?
956
01:00:00,800 --> 01:00:02,324
Are you giving me
the tickets?
957
01:00:22,889 --> 01:00:24,857
I'll stop by and
pick them up tomorrow.
958
01:00:38,805 --> 01:00:41,000
I wanted to see
your pictures.
959
01:00:46,546 --> 01:00:48,673
I got some at my place.
960
01:00:53,086 --> 01:00:54,553
Okay.
961
01:00:54,621 --> 01:00:56,782
That's a nice dress.
962
01:00:58,925 --> 01:01:00,153
Thanks.
963
01:01:06,166 --> 01:01:09,499
Yes, ma'am. It went
really well, actually.
964
01:01:09,569 --> 01:01:13,767
No. Well, I can't really
talk about that right now.
965
01:01:15,208 --> 01:01:17,642
Because she's right here.
966
01:01:17,710 --> 01:01:22,477
Yeah. I'll talk
to you later, Mom.
967
01:01:24,918 --> 01:01:27,352
Hmph. Wrong number.
968
01:01:28,621 --> 01:01:30,521
I kinda told her about you.
969
01:01:32,859 --> 01:01:34,326
Would you like some tea?
970
01:01:34,394 --> 01:01:36,191
- Yeah.
- Okay.
971
01:01:48,708 --> 01:01:50,403
A little hot.
972
01:01:50,477 --> 01:01:52,342
These are wonderful.
973
01:01:52,412 --> 01:01:55,040
Thanks.
Thank you very much.
974
01:02:07,093 --> 01:02:11,530
I took that one at, uh, my
granddaddy's ranch in Texarkana.
975
01:02:11,598 --> 01:02:15,034
Here's a nude one
of my mom.
976
01:02:15,101 --> 01:02:17,365
I'm joking.
977
01:02:20,273 --> 01:02:24,369
I call thees one
"The Agony of De Feet."
978
01:02:29,048 --> 01:02:31,141
They're so in love.
979
01:02:31,217 --> 01:02:34,015
[Joan Jett and The Blackhearts
play Crimson and Clover]
980
01:03:08,922 --> 01:03:11,288
Thanks.
I'll be going now.
981
01:03:12,625 --> 01:03:13,853
What?
982
01:03:13,927 --> 01:03:15,087
I have to go. I'm sorry.
983
01:03:15,161 --> 01:03:17,288
We've got something here.
You don't feel that?
984
01:03:17,363 --> 01:03:18,830
- I don't want to!
- But you do.
985
01:03:18,898 --> 01:03:21,492
If I stay, we'll ruin
everything. I know it.
986
01:03:21,568 --> 01:03:23,468
I'm not asking
for anything tonight.
987
01:03:23,536 --> 01:03:28,269
Hey, I'm not asking for anything
this year. Just don't go.
988
01:03:57,804 --> 01:04:01,205
What this movie needs,
Cary Grant.
989
01:04:02,342 --> 01:04:04,173
Walter Matthau.
990
01:04:04,243 --> 01:04:05,972
Walter Matthau, hm?
991
01:04:06,045 --> 01:04:07,706
- Mmm-hm.
- I see how you are.
992
01:04:18,491 --> 01:04:20,584
We didn't say no kissing,
did we?
993
01:04:20,660 --> 01:04:26,064
Not yet. Maybe we should.
In ten seconds.
994
01:04:26,132 --> 01:04:27,690
Okay.
995
01:05:17,016 --> 01:05:18,745
I should go home
and change.
996
01:05:18,818 --> 01:05:22,549
No, no, no.
You look great.
997
01:05:26,325 --> 01:05:30,785
Move over just a bit.
Right there. Alright...
998
01:05:35,435 --> 01:05:36,834
Scoot over here.
999
01:05:40,773 --> 01:05:43,901
Mmm. Together forever.
1000
01:05:43,976 --> 01:05:45,534
Oh, really?
1001
01:05:45,611 --> 01:05:47,203
Well, on film.
1002
01:05:49,649 --> 01:05:51,241
Let me get one more,
real quick.
1003
01:05:54,053 --> 01:05:55,816
Hey, Jeana!
1004
01:05:58,291 --> 01:05:59,724
You guys
know each other?
1005
01:05:59,792 --> 01:06:01,817
You guys know
each other?
1006
01:06:03,096 --> 01:06:04,188
Yeah.
We work together.
1007
01:06:08,134 --> 01:06:09,999
But you're
a still photographer.
1008
01:06:10,069 --> 01:06:12,469
On the weekends.
1009
01:06:12,538 --> 01:06:14,130
My camera guy!
1010
01:06:14,907 --> 01:06:16,272
Oh, my God!
1011
01:06:16,342 --> 01:06:18,833
Then you know,
you know everything.
1012
01:06:18,911 --> 01:06:22,312
That is, uh,
fairly accurate.
1013
01:06:23,049 --> 01:06:25,745
I thought you were the only guy
in the world who didn't know.
1014
01:06:25,818 --> 01:06:28,252
You're the guy he's been blabbing
to in the first place.
1015
01:06:28,321 --> 01:06:29,982
Right. Jeana...
1016
01:06:30,056 --> 01:06:31,045
And you didn't tell me!
1017
01:06:31,124 --> 01:06:33,558
You didn't want me
to tell you!
1018
01:06:33,626 --> 01:06:35,856
What's this? The same
dress as last night?
1019
01:06:37,463 --> 01:06:38,794
What? What does
that mean?
1020
01:06:38,865 --> 01:06:40,389
It means,
you know, that...
1021
01:06:40,466 --> 01:06:42,434
She went home with
someone she barely knows.
1022
01:06:42,502 --> 01:06:44,129
What exactly
are you trying to imply?
1023
01:06:44,203 --> 01:06:46,330
How do you know what dress
she had on last night?
1024
01:06:46,405 --> 01:06:49,306
Because what you're implying is
none of your business to imply.
1025
01:06:49,375 --> 01:06:50,603
You were with him
last night?
1026
01:06:50,676 --> 01:06:52,200
How long has this
been going on?
1027
01:06:52,278 --> 01:06:53,643
You wore this dress
to see him.
1028
01:06:53,713 --> 01:06:54,702
I didn't "see" him.
1029
01:06:54,781 --> 01:06:56,476
You said she had
big ears.
1030
01:06:56,549 --> 01:06:58,483
- What?
- That's just weird.
1031
01:06:58,551 --> 01:07:00,348
What were you doin'
together last night?
1032
01:07:00,419 --> 01:07:02,546
- What's the difference?
- There's a big difference.
1033
01:07:02,622 --> 01:07:04,055
- Gimme that.
- No.
1034
01:07:04,123 --> 01:07:07,684
I didn't plan on seeing him,
and you weren't honest.
1035
01:07:07,760 --> 01:07:10,160
God, you're just as much
a guy as the rest of them!
1036
01:07:10,229 --> 01:07:12,129
I... I can't believe
I did it again.
1037
01:07:12,198 --> 01:07:13,995
I don't even
like popcorn.
1038
01:07:15,668 --> 01:07:16,896
My camera guy!
1039
01:07:16,969 --> 01:07:18,698
Hey, guys, guys!
1040
01:07:18,771 --> 01:07:20,966
Gimme the ball!
1041
01:07:21,040 --> 01:07:24,134
You told me that I was
in love with her.
1042
01:07:24,210 --> 01:07:27,008
That was before I knew
that your "her" was my "her".
1043
01:07:27,079 --> 01:07:30,742
As a matter of fact, I can't even believe
that I have the same "her" as you.
1044
01:07:30,817 --> 01:07:33,342
Hey, wait a minute!
You two are ridiculous!
1045
01:07:33,419 --> 01:07:35,649
At least you have
somebody to fight over!
1046
01:07:35,721 --> 01:07:39,487
I have no one!I just have my...
my...my work, my midget porn,
1047
01:07:39,559 --> 01:07:41,254
and...
1048
01:07:42,361 --> 01:07:44,454
Yeah, that was
kind of personal.
1049
01:07:45,898 --> 01:07:49,163
[Bob Woodruff featuring Lucinda
Williams sing There's Something There]
1050
01:07:49,235 --> 01:07:50,327
He didn't go for it.
1051
01:07:50,403 --> 01:07:52,064
There's a backup plan.
1052
01:07:53,639 --> 01:07:55,664
Backup plan,
as in what?
1053
01:07:55,741 --> 01:07:59,404
As in Ken and Barbie don't make
it to the airport tomorrow.
1054
01:07:59,478 --> 01:08:02,140
Just say "Plan B"
and it's on.
1055
01:08:05,051 --> 01:08:06,780
I couldn't do that.
1056
01:08:12,825 --> 01:08:15,453
You okay?
I mean, for real.
1057
01:08:17,430 --> 01:08:20,422
For real?
I'll let you know.
1058
01:08:36,382 --> 01:08:38,441
You wouldn't give me
a chance the other night,
1059
01:08:38,517 --> 01:08:40,542
and then you go sleep
with some guy you just met?
1060
01:08:40,620 --> 01:08:42,247
Wait. Who said that I... ?
1061
01:08:42,321 --> 01:08:43,788
You trying
to get back at me?
1062
01:08:43,856 --> 01:08:46,290
I'll give you the files
for the tickets,
1063
01:08:46,359 --> 01:08:48,884
and then we never have
to speak to each other again.
1064
01:08:48,961 --> 01:08:52,920
Ha ha! I don't think so."A", you're
the last person I'd give 'em to now.
1065
01:08:52,999 --> 01:08:55,126
And two, I don't care
about that story any more.
1066
01:08:55,201 --> 01:08:56,532
You need that story!
1067
01:08:56,602 --> 01:08:59,867
This whole thing has pumped up our
ratings like you wouldn't believe.
1068
01:08:59,939 --> 01:09:00,928
My boss loves me.
1069
01:09:01,007 --> 01:09:03,976
I start anchoring the noon show as
soon as I get back from the cruise.
1070
01:09:04,043 --> 01:09:05,374
- Fine!
- Fine!
1071
01:09:05,444 --> 01:09:08,880
Fine. You and the mannequin
have fun on my vacation!
1072
01:09:08,948 --> 01:09:10,381
Fine!
1073
01:09:10,449 --> 01:09:12,178
At least she has sex.
1074
01:09:14,387 --> 01:09:16,218
I'm not going.
1075
01:09:19,425 --> 01:09:22,826
Of course, neither are they.
1076
01:09:28,067 --> 01:09:31,468
Randy? Launch Plan B.
1077
01:09:38,311 --> 01:09:39,801
Hi!
1078
01:09:39,879 --> 01:09:41,972
Oh, hi.
1079
01:09:47,586 --> 01:09:49,679
Hmph.
Nice bunch of girls.
1080
01:09:49,755 --> 01:09:52,519
I'm desperate,
desperate I tell you.
1081
01:09:52,591 --> 01:09:57,028
And I'm starting over. So I won't
be going to Vegas with you, Jack.
1082
01:09:57,096 --> 01:09:59,656
I won't be seeing you
in Vegas, Jack.
1083
01:09:59,732 --> 01:10:00,994
Sweetheart?
1084
01:10:01,067 --> 01:10:02,227
Yes?
1085
01:10:02,301 --> 01:10:03,768
I'm here to
break up with you.
1086
01:10:05,137 --> 01:10:06,536
No.
1087
01:10:06,605 --> 01:10:08,539
Not 'till after our cruise.
1088
01:10:10,409 --> 01:10:12,070
I need those tickets.
1089
01:10:12,144 --> 01:10:14,408
Kiss me, Grandpa.
1090
01:10:14,480 --> 01:10:16,243
They're in this room,
aren't they?
1091
01:10:16,315 --> 01:10:17,339
What?
1092
01:10:19,418 --> 01:10:21,283
This must be worth
a couple thousand.
1093
01:10:22,455 --> 01:10:26,721
It's 3, 500, plus tax.
So whatever you
are thinking, don't.
1094
01:10:26,792 --> 01:10:30,250
If you don't give me the
tickets, I rip this in half.
1095
01:10:38,704 --> 01:10:40,001
Booooo!
1096
01:10:42,441 --> 01:10:43,567
Losers!
1097
01:10:43,642 --> 01:10:46,304
Hi, my name's Caroline. I'll be
your roadblock for the evening.
1098
01:10:46,379 --> 01:10:48,370
Yeah, you look
like a roadblock.
1099
01:10:48,447 --> 01:10:49,505
You're unbelievable!
1100
01:10:49,582 --> 01:10:50,879
Watch it, shorty!
1101
01:10:50,950 --> 01:10:52,315
You're invited outside.
1102
01:10:52,385 --> 01:10:54,148
Alright, let's go.
Ladies first.
1103
01:10:54,220 --> 01:10:56,882
Anybody see any
ladies around here?
1104
01:11:05,798 --> 01:11:07,663
I'm so tired of this.
1105
01:11:07,733 --> 01:11:09,724
Good.
Then let's go to Rio.
1106
01:11:11,037 --> 01:11:14,268
For the first time in my life,
I'm in love with someone. You.
1107
01:11:16,208 --> 01:11:17,766
Do we have to do
this right now?
1108
01:11:17,843 --> 01:11:20,835
I've been thinkin' so hard
that I've been getting nosebleeds.
1109
01:11:20,913 --> 01:11:22,642
I've been thinkin'
about you and me
1110
01:11:22,715 --> 01:11:25,047
in the same place
at the same time, all the time.
1111
01:11:25,117 --> 01:11:27,608
Just...
1112
01:11:27,686 --> 01:11:30,382
Just give me
another shot, Jeana.
1113
01:11:30,456 --> 01:11:32,117
Will you marry me?
1114
01:11:37,396 --> 01:11:39,091
Sit here.
1115
01:11:44,637 --> 01:11:47,470
"Will you give me
another shot, marry me?"
1116
01:11:47,540 --> 01:11:49,838
Did that sound stupid?
1117
01:11:49,909 --> 01:11:52,969
It's not so smooth
you should lead off with it.
1118
01:11:53,045 --> 01:11:55,309
Ach, sorry. I just didn't
have time to rehearse,
1119
01:11:55,381 --> 01:11:58,248
and all I know is that all this
crazy stuff happened between us,
1120
01:11:58,317 --> 01:12:01,878
but somehow I love you, and I really
think that that's how it's supposed to feel.
1121
01:12:04,123 --> 01:12:07,650
Do you remember the first time
that you told me about this trip?
1122
01:12:07,726 --> 01:12:11,321
How excited you were?
Let's just start right there.
1123
01:12:11,397 --> 01:12:12,989
Right there.
1124
01:12:17,803 --> 01:12:20,067
I'm not your girlfriend
any more.
1125
01:12:25,511 --> 01:12:27,741
Then come as a stranger.
We'll share a cabin.
1126
01:12:27,813 --> 01:12:30,748
We don't even have to talk to
each other or look at each other.
1127
01:12:30,816 --> 01:12:35,685
Let's just stop being
enemies. It feels wrong.
1128
01:12:45,197 --> 01:12:48,496
No boyfriend-girlfriend,
no sex. Just acquaintances.
1129
01:12:48,567 --> 01:12:50,797
Okay. Yes.
1130
01:12:52,271 --> 01:12:54,671
I just wanna get far away
from here, that's all.
1131
01:12:54,740 --> 01:12:59,074
If you even so much as look at
me the wrong way and it's Tom overboard.
1132
01:12:59,145 --> 01:13:01,705
Okay. I'll pick you up
tomorrow morning at 8:00.
1133
01:13:07,820 --> 01:13:09,549
Stay.
1134
01:13:24,036 --> 01:13:25,469
Hey, tough girl.
1135
01:13:25,538 --> 01:13:27,028
What do you call
two lesbians...
1136
01:13:39,018 --> 01:13:42,579
Oh! No. I've gotta
call Randy.
1137
01:13:42,655 --> 01:13:45,886
What a rumble, huh?I barely got
out before the cops got there.
1138
01:13:45,958 --> 01:13:48,483
We got 'em good
for you, though.
1139
01:13:48,561 --> 01:13:51,997
For me? I didn't
want a war. This is you.
1140
01:13:52,064 --> 01:13:55,329
You and those virgin whackos
stirring things up.
1141
01:13:55,401 --> 01:13:59,735
Oh. You didn't start this?I didn't almost
get punched in the face tonight for you?
1142
01:13:59,805 --> 01:14:03,798
Caroline you always get punched in
the face by every guy that you talk to.
1143
01:14:03,876 --> 01:14:05,741
I just wanna get along.
1144
01:14:05,811 --> 01:14:08,871
Is that what your
big plan was all about?
1145
01:14:08,948 --> 01:14:11,178
You were the one
who pushed me into that.
1146
01:14:11,250 --> 01:14:14,515
Pushed you?I merely gave you
a great idea!
1147
01:14:14,587 --> 01:14:17,317
Who said "Jeana, don't let
him get away with this,
1148
01:14:17,389 --> 01:14:19,289
"Jeana, you have
to get even"?
1149
01:14:19,358 --> 01:14:22,418
I don't know why I listen to
your advice about men anyway.
1150
01:14:22,494 --> 01:14:24,587
Your marriage
was a disaster.
1151
01:14:24,663 --> 01:14:26,631
You're right. It was.
1152
01:14:26,699 --> 01:14:29,600
That's why I try to help my
friends avoid the same mistakes.
1153
01:14:30,202 --> 01:14:32,568
Aw, Caroline,
I'm sorry.
1154
01:14:34,073 --> 01:14:35,597
Oh...
1155
01:14:46,652 --> 01:14:48,119
Oh, no!
1156
01:14:48,187 --> 01:14:51,418
No! No!
1157
01:14:54,593 --> 01:14:56,891
Hello, you've reached
Fire Station 50.
1158
01:14:56,962 --> 01:14:59,726
We're out on a call right now.
If you'd like to leave a message...
1159
01:14:59,798 --> 01:15:00,787
Aaargh! No!
1160
01:15:00,866 --> 01:15:03,096
Engine 50, you know
what to do.
1161
01:15:03,168 --> 01:15:07,696
And let's get this right,
gentlemen. Jeana's counting on us.
1162
01:15:08,274 --> 01:15:10,174
You got it.
No problemo.
1163
01:15:11,977 --> 01:15:13,740
Jeana, come on!
We're late!
1164
01:15:13,812 --> 01:15:15,746
I'll be right down!
1165
01:15:16,982 --> 01:15:19,075
Or if you want,
we can go with the...
1166
01:15:19,151 --> 01:15:21,984
more classic shot,
something like that.
1167
01:15:34,600 --> 01:15:35,999
I have to, uh...
1168
01:15:36,068 --> 01:15:38,832
I have to go. Um,
keep these and look...
1169
01:15:38,904 --> 01:15:42,067
I'm so sorry. I... look at these,
and I will, uh. I'll call you.
1170
01:15:52,084 --> 01:15:55,053
I know he's on a call. That's
why I'm calling dispatch.
1171
01:15:55,120 --> 01:15:59,216
Get him a message. Tell him
that Jeana says call it off.
1172
01:15:59,291 --> 01:16:03,159
What? No! I...
Great!
1173
01:16:03,962 --> 01:16:04,951
Uch!
1174
01:16:08,200 --> 01:16:09,667
Ow!
1175
01:16:09,735 --> 01:16:11,464
Ouch!
1176
01:16:15,007 --> 01:16:16,634
Oh!
1177
01:16:16,709 --> 01:16:19,576
Hey, sweetie. What do you say
we take the long way?
1178
01:16:55,681 --> 01:16:58,548
Hey, guys?Randy put you
up to this, right?
1179
01:16:58,617 --> 01:17:00,244
Uh, no.
Never heard of him.
1180
01:17:00,319 --> 01:17:02,219
But if you can
get back to your vehicle,
1181
01:17:02,287 --> 01:17:05,154
we can finish this training
exercise and get you out of here.
1182
01:17:05,224 --> 01:17:06,987
Ah, training exercise.
How clever.
1183
01:17:07,059 --> 01:17:09,493
Yeah. If only I'd made
the Fire Department.
1184
01:17:09,561 --> 01:17:11,620
I look good
in uniform, baby.
1185
01:17:15,801 --> 01:17:17,393
Think she's
too tall for me?
1186
01:17:17,469 --> 01:17:19,266
Yeah.
1187
01:17:19,338 --> 01:17:20,327
She did what?
1188
01:17:20,406 --> 01:17:23,705
She went to the airport with
whats-his-face five minutes ago.
1189
01:17:23,776 --> 01:17:24,765
What airline?
1190
01:17:24,843 --> 01:17:26,936
I don't know.
What am I, her travel agent?
1191
01:17:27,012 --> 01:17:29,537
Uch, I can't let her
go with him.
1192
01:17:29,615 --> 01:17:34,177
Okay, um... Okay, look. Just get
to the airport and start there.
1193
01:17:34,253 --> 01:17:35,584
Alright. Thanks.
1194
01:17:39,825 --> 01:17:42,521
Where is the airport?
1195
01:17:44,229 --> 01:17:45,924
So we're not going
to the airport?
1196
01:17:45,998 --> 01:17:48,762
That cat's been
up there a long time.
1197
01:17:48,834 --> 01:17:50,893
So we're not going
to the airport?
1198
01:17:50,969 --> 01:17:52,903
Well, we're not going
to that airport.
1199
01:17:52,971 --> 01:17:54,461
I got us seats
on a charter jet.
1200
01:17:54,540 --> 01:17:56,474
We're going
to another airport.
1201
01:17:56,542 --> 01:17:58,032
So they'll wait for us?
1202
01:17:58,110 --> 01:18:00,806
Well, no, there's passengers,
you know, on the flight
1203
01:18:00,879 --> 01:18:03,541
besides us, so, no, they
wouldn't wait.
1204
01:18:03,615 --> 01:18:06,584
Relax. It's quality
time, honey.
1205
01:18:07,786 --> 01:18:09,686
So I come
to the I-80 split...
1206
01:18:09,755 --> 01:18:10,881
Yeah...
1207
01:18:10,956 --> 01:18:12,583
...and I stay to the left.
1208
01:18:12,658 --> 01:18:13,647
Sure.
1209
01:18:18,797 --> 01:18:20,128
Oh, God!
1210
01:18:25,137 --> 01:18:27,469
Ha ha ha!
Fake cat!
1211
01:18:29,575 --> 01:18:31,475
Fake cat.
1212
01:18:35,347 --> 01:18:36,439
Alright.
1213
01:18:39,818 --> 01:18:41,183
Aaah!
1214
01:18:41,253 --> 01:18:45,189
Not now, not now.
Dammit!
1215
01:18:50,462 --> 01:18:53,124
What're you doin' to me, man?
What're you doin' to me?
1216
01:18:54,199 --> 01:18:55,860
Fix the gas gauge!
1217
01:18:55,934 --> 01:18:58,300
We need to do something
or we're not going.
1218
01:18:58,370 --> 01:19:01,066
Well, at least we're
not going together.
1219
01:19:01,139 --> 01:19:03,107
I'm serious.
1220
01:19:03,175 --> 01:19:06,235
Alright. I'm serious,
too. Uh...
1221
01:19:06,311 --> 01:19:08,438
We'll get there.
This is temporary.
1222
01:19:08,514 --> 01:19:10,948
We have to do something.
We... you have to do something!
1223
01:19:11,016 --> 01:19:13,678
We need to go through a lawn
or a back yard or something,
1224
01:19:13,752 --> 01:19:15,583
because we need
out of here!
1225
01:19:15,654 --> 01:19:18,145
I do like it rough, but I'm
not gettin arrested for you!
1226
01:19:18,223 --> 01:19:19,349
Talk to him.
1227
01:19:21,159 --> 01:19:22,217
Uh, hi, I'm Tom.
1228
01:19:22,294 --> 01:19:24,194
You originally
from Sacramento?
1229
01:19:24,263 --> 01:19:26,231
- Carmichael.
- Carmichael's pretty.
1230
01:19:27,165 --> 01:19:28,723
Hey, look at it like this:
1231
01:19:28,800 --> 01:19:30,358
There's a three-sided
poly gon
1232
01:19:30,435 --> 01:19:32,835
and associated with
each vertices is a name:
1233
01:19:32,905 --> 01:19:36,068
Jefferson, Hamilton,
and Franklin.
1234
01:19:37,209 --> 01:19:38,608
What's a vertice?
1235
01:19:38,677 --> 01:19:40,804
It's a point of a
geometrical construction.
1236
01:19:43,448 --> 01:19:45,439
Oh!
1237
01:19:45,517 --> 01:19:46,882
Thank you very much.
1238
01:19:49,588 --> 01:19:54,890
Look at this. First the Datsun,
then the Gremlin, and now you.
1239
01:19:54,960 --> 01:19:57,827
Well, guess what?You're fired.
I'm getting a new car.
1240
01:20:00,999 --> 01:20:05,902
Hey! Hello! Hi!
1241
01:20:06,605 --> 01:20:10,166
We're here for, uh,
The charter jet.
1242
01:20:10,242 --> 01:20:12,574
Too bad it's not
here for you.
1243
01:20:18,383 --> 01:20:19,645
Man!
1244
01:20:21,453 --> 01:20:24,286
It's like everybody
wanted us to miss that plane.
1245
01:20:28,660 --> 01:20:30,355
You have no idea.
1246
01:20:30,429 --> 01:20:34,490
That story you're
working on, it's fake.
1247
01:20:34,566 --> 01:20:35,863
What?
1248
01:20:35,934 --> 01:20:38,869
I made it up for the tickets.
1249
01:20:38,937 --> 01:20:40,564
Wow!
1250
01:20:40,639 --> 01:20:43,540
You musta really wanted to
stop me from goin'without you.
1251
01:20:43,609 --> 01:20:46,009
I didn't want you to go.
1252
01:20:46,078 --> 01:20:49,241
You... you didn't
wanna go with me?
1253
01:20:50,382 --> 01:20:54,648
You're surprised? I've
never been more furious.
1254
01:20:55,754 --> 01:20:59,246
You told the whole world my biggest
secret, and you didn't apologize.
1255
01:20:59,324 --> 01:21:03,283
Wait. That's what this was all
about? You wanted me to apologize?
1256
01:21:03,362 --> 01:21:04,351
Yeah.
1257
01:21:04,429 --> 01:21:06,454
Wh... why didn't
you just say so?
1258
01:21:06,531 --> 01:21:09,056
I wanted it to be your idea.
1259
01:21:10,335 --> 01:21:12,098
Oh...
1260
01:21:14,172 --> 01:21:15,764
'Cause, you know,
it's funny.
1261
01:21:15,841 --> 01:21:19,208
If you had slept with me just once,
none of this would have happened.
1262
01:21:20,879 --> 01:21:23,712
You're never gonna
marry me, are you?
1263
01:21:25,450 --> 01:21:28,214
I should've been crushed
when that plane took off,
1264
01:21:29,388 --> 01:21:32,687
but I wasn't.
I was relieved.
1265
01:21:35,127 --> 01:21:37,823
Let's face it, it's over.
1266
01:22:13,331 --> 01:22:14,764
Hi.
1267
01:22:16,101 --> 01:22:17,796
You ever watch
Channel 8?
1268
01:22:19,604 --> 01:22:20,628
Virgin.
1269
01:22:38,423 --> 01:22:39,720
What are you
doing here?
1270
01:22:39,791 --> 01:22:41,691
Oh, don't ask.
Long story.
1271
01:22:41,760 --> 01:22:45,890
Listen, I'm sorry, Caroline.
I was such an idiot.
1272
01:22:45,964 --> 01:22:50,401
Well, me too. We... we shouldn't
talk about men, I guess.
1273
01:22:50,469 --> 01:22:53,461
Somehow, I don't see
that happening.
1274
01:22:53,538 --> 01:22:55,904
Well, don't listen
to me so much.
1275
01:23:00,545 --> 01:23:04,413
You know, uh, recent events
got me thinking.
1276
01:23:04,483 --> 01:23:06,974
So...
I called old Adolph.
1277
01:23:07,052 --> 01:23:10,112
You called your ex-husband
after two years?
1278
01:23:10,188 --> 01:23:11,849
Mm-hmm.
1279
01:23:11,923 --> 01:23:14,483
I apologized for driving
his truck into the lake.
1280
01:23:14,559 --> 01:23:16,652
What did he say?!
1281
01:23:16,728 --> 01:23:18,491
He said he's really lonely.
1282
01:23:18,563 --> 01:23:20,360
Oh, he misses you...
1283
01:23:20,432 --> 01:23:21,763
No, he misses the truck.
1284
01:23:23,869 --> 01:23:25,063
Yeah?
1285
01:23:25,137 --> 01:23:27,196
Caroline, it's Paul.
Can I come in?
1286
01:23:28,173 --> 01:23:31,438
Uh, no, I... I just
got out of the shower.
1287
01:23:31,510 --> 01:23:33,671
Well, do you have an overseas
number for Jeana?
1288
01:23:33,745 --> 01:23:35,110
Some way
I can get ahold of her?
1289
01:23:35,180 --> 01:23:37,171
'Cause I really
need to talk to her.
1290
01:23:37,249 --> 01:23:39,479
Uh, no, I don't have
a number for her. But, um...
1291
01:23:39,551 --> 01:23:43,043
What would you want me to
tell her in case she calls?
1292
01:23:43,121 --> 01:23:45,715
Tell her...
1293
01:23:48,160 --> 01:23:51,391
Tell her that I want our night
together to last forever. Okay?
1294
01:23:51,463 --> 01:23:54,159
Tell her that I am done blaming
women, okay?This was my fault.
1295
01:23:54,232 --> 01:23:56,860
I tried to tell her, but she didn't
want me to know, you know,
1296
01:23:56,935 --> 01:23:58,527
and I didn't want
to disappoint her.
1297
01:23:58,603 --> 01:24:02,596
You know? I never
want to disappoint her.
1298
01:24:04,042 --> 01:24:06,340
You can understand that,
can't you, Caroline?
1299
01:24:06,411 --> 01:24:07,469
Yeah, I can.
1300
01:24:07,546 --> 01:24:11,482
I've been alone pretty much all
the time in the past three years,
1301
01:24:11,550 --> 01:24:14,485
and I... I've done a lot of thinking,
and I... I got to know myself,
1302
01:24:14,553 --> 01:24:18,353
and what I want, and it turns out who I want.
I... I, that's why I chased her to the airport.
1303
01:24:18,423 --> 01:24:21,221
I've never chased
anyone before.
1304
01:24:21,293 --> 01:24:24,626
I walked into that coffee
shop by mistake. Alright?
1305
01:24:24,696 --> 01:24:28,894
I was lost. And it turned out
to be one of those cosmic accidents
1306
01:24:28,967 --> 01:24:32,903
she's always talkin' about, you know?
Like a sublime event, you know?
1307
01:24:32,971 --> 01:24:36,372
Something arranged by the gods so
that two people are happy. And I...
1308
01:24:36,441 --> 01:24:40,070
I've been waiting,
just like her,
1309
01:24:40,145 --> 01:24:43,637
okay, for my something
superlative and astonishing.
1310
01:24:46,518 --> 01:24:48,486
And then she ran
into me.
1311
01:24:53,024 --> 01:24:54,355
Just tell her...
1312
01:25:02,300 --> 01:25:03,392
Tell her I love her.
1313
01:25:05,737 --> 01:25:07,864
Like never before
and never again.
1314
01:25:29,494 --> 01:25:31,860
Going out for several hours.
Door's unlocked.
1315
01:25:34,833 --> 01:25:36,494
Well, that
was subtle.
1316
01:26:25,317 --> 01:26:26,784
Oh!
1317
01:26:26,851 --> 01:26:29,081
Sorry.
I'm sorry.
1318
01:26:29,154 --> 01:26:30,678
It's okay.
1319
01:27:34,085 --> 01:27:36,178
You okay?
1320
01:27:36,254 --> 01:27:38,484
Actually, um...
1321
01:27:40,125 --> 01:27:42,593
I'm seeing spots.
1322
01:27:42,660 --> 01:27:47,063
There's one right here
and right here.
1323
01:27:49,334 --> 01:27:51,666
Uh, have you
had chicken pox?
1324
01:27:51,736 --> 01:27:53,499
What?
1325
01:27:55,206 --> 01:27:57,436
Never mind.
100982
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
