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TTanTandy.
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Tandy.
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What? What?
4
00:00:34,577 --> 00:00:36,710
What? You okay?
5
00:00:36,745 --> 00:00:39,813
We got company.
6
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- A sleep birth?
- Yep.
7
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Had her right in my sleep.
8
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That is the weirdest
thing I've ever heard.
9
00:01:06,308 --> 00:01:08,508
Well, I've had similar
nocturnal movements.
10
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Not a baby of course, but,
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I was, surprised in the morning.
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I mean, I was
so worried about it.
13
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'Cause, Erica, your
birth seemed very painful.
14
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Am I wrong about that?
15
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Yeah, the pain was significant.
16
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Yeah, 'cause for me, it
was the exact opposite.
17
00:01:26,462 --> 00:01:28,128
Like, nothing.
18
00:01:28,197 --> 00:01:30,697
In fact, I have a sneaking suspicion,
19
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I might have even orgasmed.
20
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- Well, good for you.
- Yeah, right?
21
00:01:36,786 --> 00:01:38,907
Anyway, looking back at it now,
22
00:01:38,932 --> 00:01:42,837
I realize all that
worrying was for nothing.
23
00:01:43,303 --> 00:01:44,903
Isn't that right, Bezequille?
24
00:01:45,743 --> 00:01:48,012
So, we're sticking with Bezequille?
25
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I l... I love it.
26
00:01:52,946 --> 00:01:56,615
- Yeah.
- Hey there, Bezequille.
27
00:01:56,640 --> 00:01:58,850
I'm your Uncle Todd,
28
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and this is your Aunt Melissa.
29
00:02:01,621 --> 00:02:04,923
You want to say hi, Melissa?
30
00:02:05,577 --> 00:02:06,691
Hey.
31
00:02:07,761 --> 00:02:09,727
What's up?
32
00:02:09,763 --> 00:02:11,029
Look at you.
33
00:02:11,682 --> 00:02:13,081
You're perfect.
34
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You little bumblebee.
35
00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:18,403
That's what you are, a little bumblebee.
36
00:02:18,438 --> 00:02:21,873
'Cause you stung
me... right in the heart.
37
00:02:22,259 --> 00:02:26,044
It's swelling up bigger
than I ever thought possible.
38
00:02:26,516 --> 00:02:28,182
- Sorry.
- Well,
39
00:02:28,548 --> 00:02:30,480
I'm gonna go eat the placenta.
40
00:02:30,505 --> 00:02:32,096
Anybody want to join?
41
00:02:32,121 --> 00:02:33,214
- Thanks for asking.
- No.
42
00:02:33,239 --> 00:02:35,158
- I have some things I got to do.
- I'm practicing my accordion.
43
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I would love some.
44
00:02:41,628 --> 00:02:43,228
My God.
45
00:02:43,263 --> 00:02:44,963
I can't believe I stayed sober
46
00:02:44,998 --> 00:02:47,232
for two weeks waiting
to deliver that baby,
47
00:02:47,267 --> 00:02:49,734
and Carol goes and pops
it out in her sleep.
48
00:02:49,769 --> 00:02:51,769
Was the birth easy for Carol?
49
00:02:51,805 --> 00:02:53,304
I hadn't heard that.
50
00:02:53,340 --> 00:02:55,874
Hey, look on the bright side,
I'm not on baby watch anymore.
51
00:02:55,909 --> 00:02:57,709
So, what do you say, we can finally have
52
00:02:57,777 --> 00:02:59,230
that little date night tonight?
53
00:02:59,255 --> 00:03:01,346
That's exactly what I need.
54
00:03:01,381 --> 00:03:03,147
What are we gonna do with this one?
55
00:03:03,691 --> 00:03:06,746
I think I know someone
who might be available.
56
00:03:06,771 --> 00:03:08,786
A thousand times yes!
57
00:03:08,822 --> 00:03:10,555
This is gonna be so great.
58
00:03:10,590 --> 00:03:12,857
We're gonna read some
stories, sing some lullabies,
59
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maybe count macaronis together.
60
00:03:14,728 --> 00:03:17,061
Gotta do some tickling.
61
00:03:17,130 --> 00:03:19,664
Okay, I'm off to get supplies.
Whenever you guys need me,
62
00:03:19,699 --> 00:03:22,133
I'll be waiting right outside your door.
63
00:03:26,806 --> 00:03:30,275
And then the noodle
realized that he needed
64
00:03:30,310 --> 00:03:34,045
to take a high dive off
his own expectations.
65
00:03:34,114 --> 00:03:36,347
That sounds like a great story.
66
00:03:36,383 --> 00:03:37,746
- Yeah.
- You know, Care Bear,
67
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I feel like I gave birth today, too.
68
00:03:40,120 --> 00:03:41,886
To a new worldview.
69
00:03:41,955 --> 00:03:43,721
A new responsibility.
70
00:03:43,757 --> 00:03:46,024
And a new song.
71
00:03:46,059 --> 00:03:48,459
I call this "A New World View",
72
00:03:48,495 --> 00:03:51,663
A New Responsibility, A New Song."
73
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Give her a front row seat.
74
00:03:55,300 --> 00:03:56,643
There you go.
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00:04:43,096 --> 00:04:45,550
Care Bear. You okay?
76
00:04:45,585 --> 00:04:47,552
Yeah. I've...
77
00:04:47,587 --> 00:04:50,788
I've just had this weird
cramp all day, and now
78
00:04:50,824 --> 00:04:52,256
I just feel dizzy.
79
00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:55,059
Why don't we go check in
with Gail, just to be safe?
80
00:04:55,095 --> 00:04:57,161
- Okay? Here, I'll get the baby.
- Okay.
81
00:04:59,168 --> 00:05:01,131
You almost done?
82
00:05:01,935 --> 00:05:04,402
Just give me another sec.
83
00:05:14,381 --> 00:05:15,780
What?
84
00:05:16,483 --> 00:05:17,707
Carol...
85
00:05:18,465 --> 00:05:20,379
you ever go to a fastfood joint?
86
00:05:20,404 --> 00:05:23,087
I'm gonna stop you right
there... I don't like fast food.
87
00:05:23,112 --> 00:05:25,079
I prefer it slow or midtempo.
88
00:05:25,191 --> 00:05:27,191
I do like fast food.
89
00:05:27,603 --> 00:05:30,884
And I went to a place once,
90
00:05:31,157 --> 00:05:33,376
and I ordered a cheeseburger,
91
00:05:33,688 --> 00:05:35,099
And after I ate it,
92
00:05:35,135 --> 00:05:37,769
I reached into the bag for a napkin,
93
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and I noticed...
94
00:05:40,815 --> 00:05:43,182
a second cheeseburger down there.
95
00:05:45,576 --> 00:05:47,076
You see what I mean?
96
00:05:48,948 --> 00:05:53,117
An additional cheeseburger
that I had not ordered?
97
00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:55,286
Um... I'm lost here.
98
00:05:55,321 --> 00:05:57,288
What are you saying?
99
00:05:57,323 --> 00:05:59,257
Carol...
100
00:05:59,292 --> 00:06:02,093
you've got another baby stuck up in ya.
101
00:06:05,737 --> 00:06:07,926
There's another baby inside of me.
102
00:06:07,951 --> 00:06:09,636
Is that even possible?
103
00:06:09,661 --> 00:06:12,628
Well, I'm looking at
it with my own two eyes,
104
00:06:12,764 --> 00:06:15,031
so... yeah, I'm gonna go with yes.
105
00:06:15,100 --> 00:06:17,200
Hello, ladies.
106
00:06:17,302 --> 00:06:19,669
Me and my daughter, just born today...
107
00:06:19,737 --> 00:06:22,175
You were there...
we're just checking in
108
00:06:22,200 --> 00:06:24,111
to see how you guys were doing.
109
00:06:24,576 --> 00:06:27,777
Tandy, I have something to tell you.
110
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What's up, Care Bear?
111
00:06:30,264 --> 00:06:32,381
We're gonna have another baby.
112
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Well, sounds good. Let
me just go wash my balls.
113
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Nononono.
114
00:06:35,587 --> 00:06:38,588
I mean, we're gonna have
another baby right now.
115
00:06:38,656 --> 00:06:41,141
Carol, warning: They're pretty dirty.
116
00:06:41,166 --> 00:06:44,560
Tandy, I'm not talking
about making another baby.
117
00:06:44,629 --> 00:06:49,699
I'm saying there's another
baby already inside of me.
118
00:06:51,959 --> 00:06:53,825
You...
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00:06:55,658 --> 00:06:58,541
You have another
cheeseburger in the bag?
120
00:06:58,610 --> 00:06:59,775
Yeah.
121
00:07:01,513 --> 00:07:03,546
I'm gonna be another father.
122
00:07:05,644 --> 00:07:08,645
My God. So, what's the ETA?
123
00:07:08,670 --> 00:07:09,886
Well, they usually come
124
00:07:09,954 --> 00:07:13,055
one right after the
other, but says here,
125
00:07:13,124 --> 00:07:17,059
it's not too uncommon for
there to be a little separation.
126
00:07:17,128 --> 00:07:20,221
Say what you will about
the cleanliness of my balls,
127
00:07:20,246 --> 00:07:22,965
but they sure know how
to make babies.
128
00:07:23,101 --> 00:07:25,902
Yeah. I guess that's the takeaway.
129
00:07:25,970 --> 00:07:27,270
Gross.
130
00:07:27,338 --> 00:07:30,015
Bad news, hon.
131
00:07:30,040 --> 00:07:32,542
- Date night's off.
- Why?
132
00:07:32,610 --> 00:07:35,077
Carol's got another baby stuck up her.
133
00:07:35,102 --> 00:07:37,490
What? No way.
134
00:07:37,515 --> 00:07:39,215
Yup, right up in her.
135
00:07:39,615 --> 00:07:42,595
Am I horrible for being super
glad she's having another one?
136
00:07:42,620 --> 00:07:45,044
- Of course not.
- Or for the main reason
137
00:07:45,084 --> 00:07:48,201
being my sincere desire for
it to be incredibly painful?
138
00:07:48,226 --> 00:07:51,227
Now, that does tip it back the
other way, just a little bit.
139
00:07:51,329 --> 00:07:53,996
- Yeah, you can never tell her I said that.
- I won't.
140
00:07:54,021 --> 00:07:56,233
'Cause then she might downplay
the pain just to spite me.
141
00:07:56,257 --> 00:07:58,100
Can I be there? Can I watch?
142
00:07:58,371 --> 00:08:00,269
I'm not sure your current energy
143
00:08:00,305 --> 00:08:02,738
would be super helpful in that room.
144
00:08:02,763 --> 00:08:05,474
I'm sorry. Obviously, I want
her to have a smooth birth.
145
00:08:05,543 --> 00:08:06,742
Yeah.
146
00:08:06,878 --> 00:08:10,290
But with just enough pain
to respect the process.
147
00:08:14,018 --> 00:08:16,419
You are barely dilated.
148
00:08:18,056 --> 00:08:22,025
So, nothing? You don't
feel any contractions?
149
00:08:22,050 --> 00:08:22,869
Nope.
150
00:08:22,894 --> 00:08:24,627
Here, Care Bear, try this.
151
00:08:25,448 --> 00:08:27,430
Aah! Aah! What is that?!
152
00:08:27,498 --> 00:08:29,098
It's a bowl of Tabasco sauce.
153
00:08:29,200 --> 00:08:30,600
II found a list of the things
154
00:08:30,702 --> 00:08:32,335
that are supposed to help induce labor,
155
00:08:32,437 --> 00:08:34,237
and spicy foods is one of them.
156
00:08:34,305 --> 00:08:36,105
II guess they steam the baby out?
157
00:08:36,174 --> 00:08:37,607
Here, Gail, check her now.
158
00:08:39,405 --> 00:08:40,704
No change.
159
00:08:40,850 --> 00:08:42,912
Hey, relax.
160
00:08:42,981 --> 00:08:44,785
I am not worried.
161
00:08:44,810 --> 00:08:46,649
The baby will come when it's ready.
162
00:08:46,718 --> 00:08:48,751
Well, look at you,
163
00:08:48,776 --> 00:08:52,033
- all mellowed out.
- Well, Bezequille taught me
164
00:08:52,058 --> 00:08:53,893
a big lesson today.
165
00:08:53,918 --> 00:08:55,992
All that time I spent
worried about her birth,
166
00:08:56,060 --> 00:08:57,672
I'll never get it back.
167
00:08:57,697 --> 00:08:59,600
So starting tonight,
168
00:08:59,625 --> 00:09:01,364
I am not gonna get all jangled up
169
00:09:01,432 --> 00:09:03,733
about things that are beyond my control.
170
00:09:03,801 --> 00:09:05,001
Good for you, hon.
171
00:09:05,794 --> 00:09:07,996
So, I'm gonna go to bed.
172
00:09:08,021 --> 00:09:09,105
Um...
173
00:09:09,173 --> 00:09:10,806
here's a misoprostol
174
00:09:10,875 --> 00:09:12,508
to get the ball rolling down there.
175
00:09:12,610 --> 00:09:15,411
And you just give me a
shout if anything happens.
176
00:09:15,732 --> 00:09:16,958
Thanks, Mom.
177
00:09:16,983 --> 00:09:20,182
This is great. Between
Gail's medicine and my list,
178
00:09:20,251 --> 00:09:22,018
we'll get this baby out of you.
179
00:09:22,086 --> 00:09:24,153
So you just sit back and... relax!
180
00:09:26,891 --> 00:09:28,190
Scaring you is on the list.
181
00:09:28,259 --> 00:09:29,792
Yeah. Anything?
182
00:09:29,817 --> 00:09:32,028
- No.
- Okay. Well...
183
00:09:32,096 --> 00:09:34,530
cross that one off.
184
00:09:35,028 --> 00:09:36,332
Or will I?
185
00:09:40,905 --> 00:09:42,571
What's with the sour mug, bub?
186
00:09:42,640 --> 00:09:45,207
Nothing. I'm fine.
187
00:09:47,291 --> 00:09:49,312
I thought you were
supposed to be babysitting.
188
00:09:49,380 --> 00:09:51,080
Erica called it off, 'cause Gail's busy
189
00:09:51,149 --> 00:09:52,315
with Carol's birth stuff.
190
00:09:52,383 --> 00:09:55,584
Well, it's probably for the best.
191
00:09:56,679 --> 00:09:58,020
What's that supposed to mean?
192
00:09:58,056 --> 00:10:01,223
I mean, I just know you have
a little case of baby fever,
193
00:10:01,292 --> 00:10:03,225
and I see where this is going.
194
00:10:04,896 --> 00:10:07,096
No, Melissa, look.
195
00:10:07,464 --> 00:10:09,464
We made our decision, okay?
196
00:10:09,489 --> 00:10:11,200
Having kids is not for us.
197
00:10:11,269 --> 00:10:14,337
And I totally respect your
desire to remain barren.
198
00:10:14,553 --> 00:10:16,320
Todd, be honest with me.
199
00:10:16,536 --> 00:10:18,808
Melissa, I don't need kids to be happy.
200
00:10:18,876 --> 00:10:20,543
All I need is you.
201
00:10:29,854 --> 00:10:31,721
You feeling anything?
202
00:10:32,697 --> 00:10:33,697
No.
203
00:10:34,094 --> 00:10:35,958
Nipple stimulation's supposed to be
204
00:10:36,027 --> 00:10:37,460
one of the biggies. Here, let me
205
00:10:37,528 --> 00:10:39,929
try the other way a little bit.
206
00:10:43,196 --> 00:10:44,614
Still nothing?
207
00:10:46,003 --> 00:10:47,970
Let me try this.
208
00:10:52,232 --> 00:10:53,876
Anything?
209
00:10:53,945 --> 00:10:56,579
Flick 'em, flick 'em.
210
00:10:58,182 --> 00:10:59,415
Nothing?
211
00:11:01,401 --> 00:11:02,595
No.
212
00:11:02,620 --> 00:11:05,136
Maybe they're talking
about intellectual stimulation.
213
00:11:05,769 --> 00:11:07,923
What if Benjamin Buttons had a zipper?
214
00:11:07,948 --> 00:11:09,625
Tandy, I appreciate your efforts,
215
00:11:09,694 --> 00:11:11,427
but I think I'm just too tired
216
00:11:11,496 --> 00:11:13,696
to be stimulated nipplearily.
217
00:11:13,765 --> 00:11:15,965
Then, baby, why
don't you get some sleep?
218
00:11:16,033 --> 00:11:18,200
What kind of mother
would I be if I missed
219
00:11:18,269 --> 00:11:20,921
two of my babies being
born in the same day?
220
00:11:20,946 --> 00:11:23,572
Hey, Care Bear, would you feel better
221
00:11:23,608 --> 00:11:26,342
if I stayed up all night
and watched your vagina?
222
00:11:26,377 --> 00:11:28,077
You would do that for me?
223
00:11:28,146 --> 00:11:29,586
I would do that for a lot of people.
224
00:11:29,614 --> 00:11:32,047
But tonight, yes, it's for you.
225
00:11:32,116 --> 00:11:34,483
- I love you.
- I love you.
226
00:11:36,201 --> 00:11:39,889
Now, promise me you'll wake me
up the second anything happens.
227
00:11:39,957 --> 00:11:42,124
Carol, columns could crumble.
228
00:11:42,193 --> 00:11:43,659
The moon could explode.
229
00:11:43,694 --> 00:11:46,495
A banshee could scream
in the very face of time.
230
00:11:46,564 --> 00:11:48,736
And I will not... stop...
231
00:11:48,761 --> 00:11:51,734
watching... this... vagina.
232
00:11:53,569 --> 00:11:55,321
Clocking in.
233
00:12:04,002 --> 00:12:05,091
Tandy.
234
00:12:05,226 --> 00:12:06,926
- What...
- Tandy.
235
00:12:06,951 --> 00:12:08,184
WhaWha... What? What, what?
236
00:12:08,286 --> 00:12:10,910
You said you'd keep
watch for me all night.
237
00:12:10,935 --> 00:12:12,455
Carol, relax.
238
00:12:12,523 --> 00:12:13,989
I had it covered.
239
00:12:14,058 --> 00:12:16,992
What do you mean, had it covered?
240
00:12:20,064 --> 00:12:21,430
Still need me here, bud?
241
00:12:21,566 --> 00:12:23,499
Thanks. II got it from here, bud.
242
00:12:27,478 --> 00:12:28,711
Carol.
243
00:12:28,736 --> 00:12:30,002
Todd.
244
00:12:31,008 --> 00:12:32,939
- Gail.
- Todd.
245
00:12:33,681 --> 00:12:35,544
So, where we at?
246
00:12:35,861 --> 00:12:38,047
Still stuck at the equator, Mom.
247
00:12:38,115 --> 00:12:40,015
That pill should've worked by now.
248
00:12:40,084 --> 00:12:42,117
Okay, let me take another look.
249
00:12:43,888 --> 00:12:46,589
All these people looking at my pieces.
250
00:12:46,624 --> 00:12:50,092
Now I know what the Newport
Ceramics Festival feels like.
251
00:12:51,936 --> 00:12:53,796
Okay, well, um...
252
00:12:53,865 --> 00:12:56,332
Tandy, could I talk to you...
253
00:12:56,400 --> 00:12:58,234
for a second, outside?
254
00:12:58,302 --> 00:13:00,503
- Sure.
- No. I want to hear it.
255
00:13:00,571 --> 00:13:03,372
Whatever you have to say to
him, you can say to me, too.
256
00:13:04,546 --> 00:13:05,875
Fine. I...
257
00:13:05,943 --> 00:13:08,244
I'm kind of freaking out here.
258
00:13:08,312 --> 00:13:09,999
Why are you so worried?
259
00:13:10,024 --> 00:13:13,942
Because I don't want anything
to happen to you or this baby.
260
00:13:13,967 --> 00:13:15,551
Well, neither do I.
261
00:13:15,879 --> 00:13:17,920
But it's all gonna be okay.
262
00:13:17,989 --> 00:13:19,755
Yeah, it will.
263
00:13:19,824 --> 00:13:22,892
'Cause we're gonna get
that baby out of you.
264
00:13:23,225 --> 00:13:25,278
Right friggin' now.
265
00:13:26,097 --> 00:13:28,387
We... We need to get the baby out now?
266
00:13:28,474 --> 00:13:29,474
What's the rush?
267
00:13:29,542 --> 00:13:30,852
Thought your book said
it wasn't a big deal.
268
00:13:30,876 --> 00:13:33,477
Well, the longer you wait,
the more risk of complications.
269
00:13:33,546 --> 00:13:35,986
I mean, the baby's head could
get too big for the birth canal.
270
00:13:36,015 --> 00:13:38,616
Extra pressure on the umbilical cord.
271
00:13:38,684 --> 00:13:41,444
Possibility of meconium infection.
272
00:13:41,469 --> 00:13:43,673
Look, I appreciate your concern,
273
00:13:43,698 --> 00:13:45,598
but I've read about all the risks,
274
00:13:45,667 --> 00:13:47,600
and I'm not worried about it.
275
00:13:47,669 --> 00:13:50,103
Hon, we should hear Gail out, okay?
276
00:13:50,205 --> 00:13:51,804
So, what are you proposing?
277
00:13:52,208 --> 00:13:54,340
I want to go in
278
00:13:54,409 --> 00:13:57,271
and break the amniotic
sac with a needle.
279
00:13:57,296 --> 00:14:01,083
D... No, we are
not kebabing our baby.
280
00:14:01,108 --> 00:14:02,649
Well, it's our best option.
281
00:14:02,717 --> 00:14:04,283
Well, if it's such a great option,
282
00:14:04,352 --> 00:14:05,812
why isn't it even on my list?
283
00:14:05,837 --> 00:14:07,352
Please, please.
284
00:14:07,377 --> 00:14:11,257
It's hard for me to put
what I'm feeling into words.
285
00:14:11,326 --> 00:14:13,626
Call it mother's intuition.
286
00:14:13,695 --> 00:14:15,795
But I need you to trust me.
287
00:14:15,897 --> 00:14:18,231
The baby will come when it's ready.
288
00:14:20,236 --> 00:14:21,501
Okay.
289
00:14:21,569 --> 00:14:23,336
If that's what you want.
290
00:14:23,438 --> 00:14:24,671
It is.
291
00:14:28,376 --> 00:14:30,476
Who's a little angel?
292
00:14:30,545 --> 00:14:32,412
Are you my little baby pet?
293
00:14:32,480 --> 00:14:35,381
Did you keep Mommy up
all night last night?
294
00:14:35,450 --> 00:14:36,749
Was that you?
295
00:14:36,818 --> 00:14:38,384
Yes, it was.
296
00:14:38,453 --> 00:14:41,054
That was you, wasn't it? Yes, you did.
297
00:14:41,156 --> 00:14:42,889
Hey.
298
00:14:42,957 --> 00:14:44,924
Hey, Todd. Hey.
299
00:14:44,993 --> 00:14:47,994
Hey, um, you feeling okay?
300
00:14:48,421 --> 00:14:49,495
Why?
301
00:14:49,564 --> 00:14:50,863
Just seem a little tired.
302
00:14:50,888 --> 00:14:53,032
You know, just based on
what your face looks like.
303
00:14:53,168 --> 00:14:56,569
- Wow.
- No, ddon'tdon't get me wrong.
304
00:14:56,638 --> 00:14:59,505
Y... Youyou look
great, hon. Very wise.
305
00:14:59,607 --> 00:15:02,775
You know, like an old,
gnarled oak tree, you know?
306
00:15:02,844 --> 00:15:04,343
Tons of integrity.
307
00:15:04,412 --> 00:15:06,112
- Thank you?
- You know,
308
00:15:06,147 --> 00:15:07,914
ththis isn't coming out
right. I just...
309
00:15:07,989 --> 00:15:11,196
If you need to take a little
nap, I'd be happy to watch Dawn.
310
00:15:11,221 --> 00:15:14,012
Well, I'm not sure about the tree stuff...
Fair.
311
00:15:14,089 --> 00:15:15,916
But I could really use a nap.
312
00:15:15,941 --> 00:15:19,025
AAnd just so you know, I
don't need kids to be happy.
313
00:15:19,086 --> 00:15:21,916
- Good for you, Todd.
- All I need is Melissa.
314
00:15:22,314 --> 00:15:23,574
- Todd...
- This is just so you can get some sleep
315
00:15:23,598 --> 00:15:25,127
- for your face.
- All right, I got it.
316
00:15:25,152 --> 00:15:27,319
- You've made that abundantly clear.
- Okay.
317
00:15:28,025 --> 00:15:28,935
Byebye, Dawn.
318
00:15:29,003 --> 00:15:30,416
Byebye.
319
00:15:31,611 --> 00:15:33,578
- Bye.
- See you.
320
00:15:35,677 --> 00:15:37,910
She's gone. Hey.
321
00:15:45,393 --> 00:15:46,496
Hey.
322
00:15:46,521 --> 00:15:48,020
Hey, Melissa.
323
00:15:48,089 --> 00:15:49,622
Where have you been?
324
00:15:50,357 --> 00:15:53,092
You know, just, um...
325
00:15:53,205 --> 00:15:55,038
hanging out with the guys.
326
00:15:55,063 --> 00:15:57,130
Is that baby powder on your shirt?
327
00:15:57,198 --> 00:15:59,098
This is, um, um...
328
00:15:59,373 --> 00:16:01,100
the, um...
329
00:16:01,169 --> 00:16:03,302
It's... cocaine.
330
00:16:03,371 --> 00:16:04,784
Cocaine?
331
00:16:04,809 --> 00:16:06,609
Yes. Cocaine.
332
00:16:06,634 --> 00:16:09,976
I was doing cocaine
because... I love it.
333
00:16:10,044 --> 00:16:11,188
You were with Dawn, weren't you?
334
00:16:11,212 --> 00:16:13,146
Look, how many times
do I have to tell you?
335
00:16:13,214 --> 00:16:16,493
I was snorting and smoking
cocaine all day, okay?
336
00:16:16,518 --> 00:16:18,851
And then, when I was putting
my mirror and coke toot away,
337
00:16:18,953 --> 00:16:20,142
I must've gotten some on my shirt,
338
00:16:20,166 --> 00:16:22,922
and then I showed up here,
you started reaming me out.
339
00:16:22,991 --> 00:16:25,458
- Todd, come on.
- Look, can this wait till morning?
340
00:16:25,527 --> 00:16:28,761
Okay, great. Good night.
341
00:16:29,131 --> 00:16:30,496
Okay.
342
00:16:30,521 --> 00:16:32,532
Good night, Scarface.
343
00:16:34,002 --> 00:16:36,803
And then the witch
ate her mother's heart
344
00:16:36,871 --> 00:16:39,772
and understood the
language of all birds.
345
00:16:39,841 --> 00:16:41,053
- She...
- Look at her,
346
00:16:41,101 --> 00:16:42,285
putting on such a brave face.
347
00:16:42,310 --> 00:16:44,205
She's obviously petrified.
348
00:16:44,230 --> 00:16:46,746
Denial isn't just a river in Phoenix.
349
00:16:46,848 --> 00:16:49,749
It's also a very real
psychological state, Gail.
350
00:16:51,486 --> 00:16:53,204
I can't just stand here and watch this.
351
00:16:53,229 --> 00:16:55,354
- Wait. No, no. Gail.
- All right, Carol,
352
00:16:55,490 --> 00:16:57,751
enough is enough. We're
gonna break that water.
353
00:16:57,776 --> 00:16:59,360
I won't take no for an answer.
354
00:16:59,385 --> 00:17:01,891
So I guess you're making all
the decisions now, Gail?
355
00:17:01,916 --> 00:17:04,174
Well, since I am the
only adult in the room,
356
00:17:04,199 --> 00:17:06,365
- I do consider it my duty. Yes, yes.
- What?!
357
00:17:06,390 --> 00:17:08,334
I am 43 calendar years old!
358
00:17:08,403 --> 00:17:11,037
That is two adults with
a seven year old on top!
359
00:17:11,105 --> 00:17:13,698
- Hi. Please leave me alone.
- No.
360
00:17:13,723 --> 00:17:14,893
I can't do that, hon.
361
00:17:14,918 --> 00:17:16,878
I'm not gonna let this get to the point
362
00:17:16,903 --> 00:17:18,542
where I have to make a decision
363
00:17:18,567 --> 00:17:21,067
about whether or not to cut you open.
364
00:17:21,092 --> 00:17:22,224
Well, neither will I.
365
00:17:22,249 --> 00:17:24,278
Okay, so you'll let me break your water?
366
00:17:24,293 --> 00:17:26,012
I don't need you to break my water.
367
00:17:26,037 --> 00:17:28,429
Carol, I'm trying to
include you in this,
368
00:17:28,498 --> 00:17:31,350
but if you're not up to it, I
will make this decision for you.
369
00:17:31,375 --> 00:17:33,264
This is not your call to make!
370
00:17:33,289 --> 00:17:35,336
- I am her husband!
- And I am her mother!
371
00:17:35,438 --> 00:17:37,805
- And I am her her.
- Not now, Carol!
372
00:17:37,874 --> 00:17:40,342
Okay, look, yeah, I'm not
gonna let you turn our baby
373
00:17:40,367 --> 00:17:42,566
into some kind of human pin cushion.
374
00:17:42,591 --> 00:17:44,278
And what are you proposing, Dr. Pepper?
375
00:17:44,347 --> 00:17:46,547
You still want to stick
hot sauce up her holler?
376
00:17:46,616 --> 00:17:48,910
That was on a list, Gail! A list!
377
00:17:48,935 --> 00:17:51,228
My God, you're so clueless!
378
00:17:51,253 --> 00:17:52,653
How dare you! How dare you!
379
00:17:52,722 --> 00:17:55,523
How dare I. How dare I what?
380
00:17:55,591 --> 00:17:58,793
How dare I try to save the life
of your wife and unborn child?
381
00:17:58,861 --> 00:18:01,495
Look at you, strutting
around with all the answers
382
00:18:01,564 --> 00:18:03,988
like some kind of
alltheanswers peacock!
383
00:18:04,867 --> 00:18:07,179
You know what? You should get
down on your bony, little knees
384
00:18:07,203 --> 00:18:09,014
- and thank the Lord above that I am here!
- Yeah?
385
00:18:09,038 --> 00:18:10,571
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Thank God for Gail!
386
00:18:10,640 --> 00:18:12,518
- Right.
- Thank God! What would I do without her?
387
00:18:12,542 --> 00:18:14,108
- That's right. You know why?
- Why?
388
00:18:14,177 --> 00:18:15,476
'Cause I'm the only shot
389
00:18:15,545 --> 00:18:17,111
you got right now, dummy.
390
00:18:17,180 --> 00:18:18,923
- You think so?
- I know so.
391
00:18:18,948 --> 00:18:19,948
You think so?
392
00:18:19,982 --> 00:18:22,149
- Yeah.
- And, Carol, you ought to shut your mouth
393
00:18:22,218 --> 00:18:24,452
and open your legs and
let me break that water.
394
00:18:24,520 --> 00:18:26,253
You hear me?
395
00:18:26,322 --> 00:18:28,389
Carol?
396
00:18:28,458 --> 00:18:30,360
Carol?
397
00:18:30,385 --> 00:18:33,653
Did someone order
a double cheeseburger?
398
00:18:39,384 --> 00:18:40,384
Carol...
399
00:18:40,870 --> 00:18:43,164
I feel like I owe you an apology.
400
00:18:43,205 --> 00:18:46,072
Mom, come meet your
second granddaughter.
401
00:18:49,906 --> 00:18:52,189
- Hey, little one.
- Wait.
402
00:18:52,214 --> 00:18:54,414
In all the craziness,
we never picked a name.
403
00:18:54,526 --> 00:18:56,560
I got you covered.
404
00:18:56,585 --> 00:19:00,153
You both know I'm a very gifted namer.
405
00:19:00,188 --> 00:19:03,419
And I thought of the perfect
name for our daughter.
406
00:19:04,529 --> 00:19:05,857
Mike.
407
00:19:12,394 --> 00:19:15,134
Here we go..
408
00:19:18,152 --> 00:19:21,674
Hey, Mike. I'm your dad.
409
00:19:22,816 --> 00:19:26,369
You know, normally Mike is a guy's name.
410
00:19:26,394 --> 00:19:28,414
And kids might give you
a little flack for it,
411
00:19:28,450 --> 00:19:32,185
but, Mike was my brother's name.
412
00:19:32,636 --> 00:19:34,687
And if you knew him,
413
00:19:34,723 --> 00:19:36,823
I'm sure you wouldn't mind.
414
00:19:40,212 --> 00:19:41,103
So,
415
00:19:41,128 --> 00:19:42,961
another painless birth?
416
00:19:43,330 --> 00:19:46,751
Would you believe it was even
easier than the first one?
417
00:19:47,114 --> 00:19:50,436
And this time, I definitely orgasmed.
418
00:19:50,817 --> 00:19:53,618
Didn't I? Didn't I?
419
00:19:55,202 --> 00:19:57,135
Date night time. Let's hit it.
420
00:19:57,426 --> 00:19:59,710
Are you guys taking
Dawn on your date night?
421
00:19:59,735 --> 00:20:04,077
Well, Tandy and Carol have
their hands full, and you're...
422
00:20:04,921 --> 00:20:05,921
you know.
423
00:20:06,429 --> 00:20:08,162
How about Todd?
424
00:20:09,139 --> 00:20:10,189
Really?
425
00:20:10,225 --> 00:20:12,959
Yeah, unless you're planning
on hitting the slopes.
426
00:20:12,994 --> 00:20:14,460
He's been doing a lot of cocaine.
427
00:20:14,496 --> 00:20:16,239
Look, it was baby powder, guys.
428
00:20:16,264 --> 00:20:17,697
That's what people say, yeah.
429
00:20:17,732 --> 00:20:20,133
But yeah, I'd love to. I'm...
430
00:20:20,644 --> 00:20:22,577
Are youyou sure?
431
00:20:23,738 --> 00:20:25,772
- Thank you.
- All right.
432
00:20:25,807 --> 00:20:27,373
Well, that settles it.
433
00:20:27,409 --> 00:20:28,908
I'll see you guys later.
434
00:20:29,412 --> 00:20:31,840
- Thank you.
- Bye, Dawn.
435
00:20:31,865 --> 00:20:33,310
Yes.
436
00:20:35,050 --> 00:20:36,378
Peekaboo.
437
00:20:37,286 --> 00:20:38,607
Peekaboo.
438
00:20:46,006 --> 00:20:47,006
Yeah.
439
00:20:48,306 --> 00:20:53,406
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